Real life,real issues,real people...........This isnt Judge Judy!
where did it get so bad?how?...Where are the staunch,bible holding Christians on this blog?this is when we need you the most to preach.
All i know is that not forgiving someone puts you in a permanently ill state of mind...will letting go and forgiving kill you?
See what someone has gone through that has hardened him to unforgiveness........OMG!
''Stella,
Seriously all this talk about forgiveness is bunkum… We tend to forget that forgiveness has a condition.. . There has to be a request for pardon and then that can be accepted or rejected..
Tell me Stella,
1. Tell me to forgive the uncle that takes over his brother’s property (your inheritance) and gives his own children while you become a labourer carrying bricks in building sites while his other children are in school in the US;
2. Tell me to forgive the witch who organises a children’s party and serves food but asks her children not to eat the food. Am sure you will never understand what that means; if you don’t, she has, by such food, switched a destiny i.e. “ the Prince would now walk while the servant would ride”
3. Tell me to forgive the very very rich father who, because of a bitter divorce, chooses not to train his children. They become taxi drivers, gate men and house girls while there step brothers’ drive past them on the road. Their brothers even open gates for them in hotels;
4. Tell me to forgive the man that gives his step son a permanent big body scar when he was thirteen and he a full grown man in his mother’s house; he also drove him out of the house (his parents’ house);
5. You see I have seen it all so don’t blame me if I have such violent thoughts and anger…''
''S''...I dont care what you been through,open up and let God..will you live like this forever?no wonder you are so unhappy....you can change it if you want!..let go abeggy!
saw this comment on ur forgiveness post, it takes a strong christiam to forgive that uncle, or father that abandons his own kids, crazy shit happening out there.
ReplyDeletePls pray for thr grace to forgive. Let God teach you how to let go. It's obvious you can't do this on your own. I dont know how it feels to have gone through all you have but pls,let go and let God. He is able to change your story around. He is in the business of turning the rejected stone into corner stone. Dont wait for them to come begging because it might never happen. I pray that the Lord will help you forgive your offenders, give you peace and turn your story around in Jesus name (amen).
DeleteIt takes nothing to forgive, when people say they can't forgive that's another way of saying I am perfect I just laugh at those people "not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die" I think Nelson Mandela said that no wonder he was a celebrated hero. What have they done to you that you will open ya mouth and say "I can't forgive" who are You? Our Lord Jesus Christ and God Almighty who created You can forgive then who are You Biko. What pisses me off is girls/women who can't forgive their fellow girls/women I've noticed women hold on to grudges longer, this same women will forgive a good for nothing man who has treated them like trash I mean name it and this man has done it to them but when it comes to your fellow woman you open your mouth and say "it will take only God for me to forgive you" pls take a seat! Personally if I wrong anyone I apologise I mean it and I move on whether you forgive me or not na ya cup of tea! Forgiveness is universal there are no special class of people you should forgive forgive everyone! Get to that point of maturity when You forgive in advance! Even before they hurt You! We had this naughty cousin that grew up with us he will do something that will make us beat him every day got to a point we started beating him in advance even when he's done nothing yet because we were so sure he will do something. I've applied the same principle in my life I forgive in advance no matter how bad you hurt me. I have a lot to say on forgiveness but lemme stop here. Point of the day "FORGIVE EVERYONE INCLUDING YOURSELF"
DeletePoster 4qive urself 4 trappinq urself in 2 not beinq who u shud b cos u can't 4qive ur family. Until u 4qive u can't succeed. D bitterneSs in u can cause u hrt disease. Let qo its very very important
DeleteThe pain that u have been feeling, cannot compare to the joy that is coming ur way if u forgive and forget.
ReplyDelete9ce taik.
DeleteForgive! T's not by saying u do 4gv, but by acting it, let go, if u don't 4gv ur pulling ur self dwn not dem ur 4gvness would hunt n hurt dem make dem realize der mistakes y do u want to deliberately drag urself dwn Cuz ov others. Please 4gv infact if d's z all uv seen u ain't seen nothing yet!
ReplyDeleteA part of the Lord's prayer says....Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us......conclusively u're telling God not to forgive you your sins just because you cannot forgive others,,,,its very difficult and painful for you as you stated in your mail....but you just have to let go......forgive and open the heavens above you for favour,,,doors of opportunities for yourself........more over let God fight your battles and u'll be surprised when all these people come kissing your feet......
ReplyDeleteLife is a zero sum game.
ReplyDeleteWe will all give up what we háve acquired.
I am glad you did not say someone changed your heaven-bound life to a hell-bound one.
Everything that has nothing to do with your soul will count for nothing.
Just saying
I have just this to say to you if u r a Christian Isaiah 53:3-10 only Christ can take ur pain away u really need him in ur life Bcos dis taughts can drive u mad.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is bible preaches forgiveness and as Christians we hv to obey it. I am finding it hard to completely forgive but its a process, you hv 2 be closer to God 2 understand and feel the release.
ReplyDeleteMy pastor said on sunday that u hv 2 forgive sime1 b4 u pray, so ur prayers can be answered. Its hard but we hv 2 try.
Gosh I feel like sendn my story in but let me make it short, I am no saint and I hv made my mistake and learnt frm it. See I cheated on my husband wen married, the guilt killed me wen I turned born again and decided to tell him. Well my husband left me and the guy I cheated with is now married with kids (he wasnt married then). Now I am findn two things difficult;
1. To 4gve my husband cus now he wants 2 come bck (mind u the way he left was very heartbreaking, what I told him in secret, he told d entire family, everyone was mad and disappointed)
2. The guy I cheated with denied te act to the family cus he was a family friend and he disapeared leavn me to face all wrath of the family alone.
Now I dont want my husband bck, but I am findn it hard just to let go and 4gve how he handled the situation and 2, they guy I cheated with 4 years later wants my forgiveness too cus he was a coward.
This word called Forgiveness is easily thrown about but how do u really 4give cus I dont knw. Is it wen u hear the persons name and u dont hv d urge 2 curse dem out anymore. Cus I dont knw?
Bia here, u well so? You fucked up and God is giving u a second chance u r talking shit? If ur hubby had cheated on u wld u hv kept it quiet? Do u know how many women got cheated on, kept quiet and still got dumped? Nd u even have the nerve to talk about the man u cheated with? Irresponsible ho.
DeleteYou are high!!! Did u say u find it difficult to forgive your husband after cheating on him? What did Jesus give as the only reason for divorce? Pls tell me.. He is only human, atleast he wants u back now.. U call yourself a born again and u now find it difficult to forgive a man u hurt...msheeeeeew! Better see his coming back as a way of God encouraging you that he will never disappoint u and take your husband back...IRANU!
DeleteHugs. Please firgive your hubby. Let it go. Whichever way u look at it, u wronged him n left him with a bruised ego. That explains his reaction. Did u expect him to code it n pop champagne for u? U say u got born again. Learn to love him again.
Deleteoh, we can judge....and it is so easy to when u r not wearing the shoes....
Deleteyou see, my husband cheated on me once and just like her, God touched his heart and he came and confessed. He begged me not to tell a soul...even my closest sister and best friend.
i was hurt ...oh so hurt..a deep wrenching pain that made me wanna just pack and leave, made, me wanna tell the whole world what he did that was responsible for my leaving....he kept begging...didnt even let me move to a hotel for a few days...we even stil slept on the same bed (one thing that made me agree was my mom's voice in my head with her favourite phrase _'wisdom is profitable to direct')
but somehow, i kept his secret... i did not tell a soul! only myself, him and the girl that knew what was happening! it was not easy but we were able to get pass the trauma of that incident. today, he has become a much better man because of that experience and infact, i"m sure nobody would ever believe that my hubby could have done such a thing.
he is so well loved and respected by his family, mine, the church and society...imagine what would have happened if i had made a scandal!! they would still be looking at him with 'that eye'
but sometimes, i wonder if he would have done same for me if the reverse was the case, if i was the one that cheated, no matter my show of remorse. we've talked about it before and he said he would, but i dont quite believe him. anyway, i would never know cos that is one thing i can never do.
My goodness !!! Am not alone. Pat, this is exactly my story. Am still praying to God to take away the pain I feel in my heart. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteI actually thought you were going to 70counts,even if you get there later,please forgive and look ahead, a whole lot of better things awaits you!
ReplyDeletePls read this dear:Romans 12:17-21
ReplyDeleteRepay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in d sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Good one Mamie repay no one evil. For evil hmmmmmm twix
DeleteGood one Mamie..
DeleteMy Advice to You poster is to let Go and let God. He knows what the future holds.. life doesn't end here..for your peace sake please Forgive
I have reasons too not to forgive but I have come to understand that hate can't drive out hate only love can,darkness can't drive out darkness only light can, fear can't drive out fear only Faith can. Please give your life over to God ,ask For the Holy Spirit to help you. I am a living testimony of Forgiveness and now am happy and blessed..its your turn today and please come back to share your Testimony again when you have forgiven those who hurt you..and the change that occurs afterwards.
I pray for the peace and wisdom of God on you..cheers!
*Tears*
ReplyDeleteBut in all, why do u allow God to fight 4 U.
I dont kn u but i can feel d pains from ur write-up.
I ll still advise u forgive and hand it over to d Almighty and lets see if he wont act.
Its well
Stella there is a limit forgiveness because everyone has their own level of tolerance. Imagine a guy that raped me 2yrs ago coming back to beg me for forgiveness, I told him I will never forgive him no matter. I don't care what you think stella, but I won't forgive him, I am still traumatized till date.
ReplyDeleteI really understand how you feel, in my case my teacher raped me and dragged me into the toilet in school, someone saw us and told the principal, when I was ready to say he raped me, he told the principal that I ave been disturbing him and I dragged him into the toilet, I couldn't defend my self,they called my mum my mum came and without hearing my story, she started beating me in the school, such a big embarrassment. U finally had to leave the school and it was later my mun believed me. I have forgiven him, but I cannot forget. At the age of 15 I handed him to God. Miss B
DeleteExactly,people will wrong you knowing that later they will ask 4 forgiveness.....abeggi....me I no dey forgive oo...do me I do you....yimu
DeleteSTELLA, ATELLA, STELLA!!1 You too do!! sharpalee you don copy n paste!!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, if you have never hurt anyone in your life then you are free to hold on to your grudges!! If you have, then you too needs to be forgiven.
To err is human, to forgive is divine... You need Jesus! capish!!
Once you do, then you'd be awed at how you need forgiveness as well!!
Besides, Your destiny is only on person's hands - YOURS!!
*IN ONE
DeleteSame thing i replied her, Let Go And Let God
ReplyDeleteMy dear I know exactly how you feel cos my father went tru similar stuff if not worse than yours but I tnk God he knows Jesus n tru his encounter with christ he understood so many tns whc is way too long to explain here. Forgive whoever hurt you dear, like I said earlier forgiveness means setting urself free from self imprisonment no matter wot is involved. Ur unanswered prayer n sufferings may be as a result of ds grudge u r carryn around. we all are sinners but God choose to forgive us not minding the gravity of our sins but how can it be real wen u v not played ur own part cos in the book of Mattew 6:15 says if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly father forgive you.
ReplyDeleteMathew 18:21, until seventy times seventy will ur brother wrong you a day n u won't forgive him. Sweethrt set yourself free dear, life is too short to dwell in the past,all that u lost are vanity, accept Jesus christ as ur personal lord and saviour and in
Philippians 4:19- my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
All that you ve said is nothing becuz God said I ll have mercy on who I ll have mercy on.
ReplyDeleteIst you have to Forgive.
2nd be d best in what you do
and 3rd pray always and see if God won't bless your hustle.
Let it go biko! Forgiveness is what we have to do to receive forgiveness from God..just ask for the grace to forgive those who have hurt you! Grace is all you need. God bless
ReplyDeleteLet it go biko! Forgiveness is what we have to do to receive forgiveness from God..just ask for the grace to forgive those who have hurt you! Grace is all you need. God bless
ReplyDeleteIt may be hard but for your own sake, you need to LET GO.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, forgiveness doesn't mind frolicking with the ppl who hurt U when you run into them. It means letting go of the hurt in your heart to the extent of smiling or even saying hello to them. Or even as much as rendering help if U r in a position to do so (yes U can). Bearing a grudge hurts U more, but when U forgive, U r free & guess who gets uneasy & uncomfy; the person who hurt U (trust me on that). Try forgiveness, it's far better than its opposite.
ReplyDeletewww.sharedthots.blogspot.com
Unforgiveness is so not worth it
ReplyDeleteyou live a bitter, miserable life on earth and when you die you go straight to hell.
I see the rhetoric on money money influence etc I have seen people come out of bondages, hexes brought about by the switching of destinies, I have seen orphans make the best out of their lives and grow to be flourishing adult.
No need to waste your time on your past, your step-mom, father who didn't take care of you etc
let Go of your past, focus on your future
all these bitterness cause serious health issues including cancer in future
dear poster pls set yourself free by letting go,it will do you no harm.
ReplyDeleteStella, I don't agree with your comment. It is like saying you understand what someone is going through if they have a child with down syndrome.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, ofcourse forgiveness comes only when it is requested by the offender. The problem is: Are you ready to forgive when the request is made? Even GOD will not forgive you unless you ask for it. What HE does is direct you in HIS Mercy to a path that will lead to your penitence and forgiveness. I understand your pain, and pray that GOD provides such a path for you and those who have offended you. Be Blessed.
ReplyDeleteYou understand his/her pain. Have you gone through that before and what is the outcome? If you have not, you don't understand or know how they are feeling.
DeleteYou need the grace of God to forgive, flesh alone cannot allow forgiveness. Seek for that grace and you will see that it works wonders.
ReplyDeleteI understand dt u av to forgiv pple even if its fr ur own sake bt bliv me it can b pretty difficult wen n if u think of d hurt n pain u av bn thru.....
ReplyDeleteDon't forgive then and remain in perpetual bondage of anger and hate. Funny thing is if the offender repents, God will quickly forgive him and he will go to heaven. For you, you end up in hell despite being the offended.
ReplyDeleteJesus said" forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us." That places the burden on the offended.
Check out my anti corruption blog Www.abokinamallam.blogspot.com
D aboki is bak! Yaaaay
DeleteHmm, some times it is easier said than done but forgive you must my dear.
ReplyDeleteI saw this comment under dupe's post and truly for a nano-second I was speechless.....the poster has been hurt deeply.
ReplyDeleteThe pains....oh I can feel the intensity even by just reading.
This will take the grace of God to totally forgive...truly the Grace of God! But you just have to....for unforgiveness comes with anger and anger comes with danger.
Stella wrs my comment? U wan use am as dinner? *rme
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteyou have every right to count the wrongs others have done to you and to be angry also but i disagree with you when you say you have seen it all. how do you explain getting married to a man , neva had sex with him before the marriage, did all the necessary medical examination, only to find out 9 months after marriage ur spouse had full blown Aids and has passed it on to you and your unborn child. everything went wrong right from the so called church hospital that conducted the test, the pastors involved and all that.
will you say she shouldn't forgive them and the man that gave her a death sentence after keeping herself ? initially it was days and months of pain , bitterness , unanswered questions, anger and suicidal feeling. the baby finally arrived but HIV positive, once again feeling to commit murder was there , both mother and child were innocent what did they do wrong to deserve this . was God being unfair? no he wasn't. after years of being angry with God becos i served him uninterruptedly through my university days but i thought he didn't keep his own agreement but i was wrong . i couldn't forgive my pastor , the marriage committee and all that were involved most especially the lab scientist. Acts 7:59-60 NIV
While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep. this was the scripture i pounced upon after two years of refusing to go to church nor pray. from that moment i saw that even my anger and unforgiveness couldn't help me but it caused more pain, i decided to let go my pain , my right to hurt those that have given me and my son this death sentence , i went straight back to God and u know what the first year i forgave them my son was healed even till this year he still tested Negative HIV and my CD4 count has been very high even when i went for another test it was invalid that is neither positive nor negative.
my dear poster please just let go and expect your miracle , the miracle that will catapult you to a level that you won't even remember you once suffered. the people you are angry with doesn't even know u are angry with them that's the funniest part. my testimony above may sound like super story to some people but to my family especially it won souls to christ.
Wow!!!!! Thank God for yhu and yhur son... More spontaneous miracles are headed your way!!!!
DeletePoster this woman's testimony isenough to give you a rethink..
I forgive people and even overlook hurts and disappointments,not cause they deserve it,but cause of the happiness and peace it gives me.It makes me feel soo much stronger than that person and its a wonderful feeling.. Another reason i forgive is so that God can forgive me mine!!
Am speechless!
DeleteMadam, be strong! God doesn't test us with somthing e nos we can't handle.
Oloun o ki n se oba ika(our God is not a wicked God)
E wld see u thru dis.
Kpele!
wow!!!..and someone will come tomorrow and tell me there is no God,God forgive me because i will punch that person's mouth...
Deletemy dear,your story is one of a kind...truly it pays to forgive...God bless you a zillion times,God bless you always...chai you have touched my spirit....#tears#
God bless you
DeletePraise thy lord........hallelujah. God is big.
DeleteThis is Dupe, the lady whose post was published this morning. Your story really made me cry and has really given me hope that only God's report should be believed and accepted. I hereby use your story as a point of contact for God's divine intervention in my life.
DeleteDear poster, you just have to forgive. Unforgiveness isn't worth the time and turmoil. The people who hurt you are enjoying their lives. Don't worry, let God avenge for you.
This comment also caught my attention in the other post! Hmmn,na wa o...Dear Poster,you have been through a lot,yes you have...forgiveness isn't gonna come easy,no it won't...BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO LET GO AND LET GOD! Ask God for His grace to forgive these people and He sure would give you!All the best Dear.
ReplyDeleteU ve bin hurt,we know that.shit happens but if ur reading des right now pls I need u 2 pray and ask God 2 give u d grace 2 forgive.its not easy but u can do it.weder d asked 4 ur forgiveness or not.u nid 2 forgive them inorder 2 move on.u can never get 2 d nxt level except u forgive.so it's ur choice,choose wisely.lady tee#
ReplyDelete@ born 2 reign.ur story is vry touching but I belive u.coz I serve d living God and I know dt he is a miraculous God.i hop des poster ll. Learn fr des and learn 2 forgive
ReplyDelete@ born 2 reign.ur story is vry touching but I belive u.coz I serve d living God and I know dt he is a miraculous God.i hop des poster ll. Learn fr des and learn 2 forgive
ReplyDeleteDear poster, u can forgive. After readin all d comments here today, go down on ur knees, cry out to God, let ur tears flow nd as it does, let ur pains nd anger go wit it. I nd my siblins were once in ur shoes. My mum died wen i was barely 5. Barely one yr after her death, my dad remarrid. Growin up was hell. We were all sent out as house helps. Our step mum just cldnt bear our presenc in d hse. My elder broda refused to be sent off nd he saw hell. I remember d day my dad disgraced him ryt at d assembly ground of his school cos he dared take my dad's 50kobo (dis was late 80s, its no joke pls) after bein starved for 3 days. Wen my dad discoverd his money was missin, he went straight to my bros school, told d principal to kul him out nd search him. Dey did nd found d 50kobo on him nd d whole school jeerd bt dey neva knew dat dis was a boy dat has been starvd for 3 days nd dt it was hunger dat drove him to it.
ReplyDeleteTo cut a long story short, my broda had to leav d hse to go stay wit our maternal uncle, he is a medical doc today nd works in one of d biggest hospital in d country. Lyk i said b4, none of us (5 siblins) grew up in my father's hse, we wer all hse hlps to strangers nd relations bt 2day, we ar all doin well. My bros is a medical doc, anoda one a pastor, my immediat younga sis a reg.nurse. All 3 girls happily marrid. Our step siblins, dia mother nd our father all depend on us nd we ve chosen nt to eva remind dem of d past. We only pity our dad cos at his age, he is stil caterin for food nd school fees of d four children wich is oda wife bore him. Dey collect money frm us nd stil go back to collect wateva we ve givn him. None of dem wer eva sent out as house helps bt dat is none of our biz. We chose to forgiv nd God has been in control.
At one point in my life, a friend hurt me so so bad, she said some things about me that were not true at all, to people and I heard. I almost couldn't breathe at the thought of her. I shared it with another friend who is like a sister. She suggested we fast & pray for 3 days. We did, asking God to remove it. After that the hurt was taken away. It had to be God , I couldn't have done it by myself. Forgiving another person takes God, so pls everyone who needs to go through this process pls invite God in the matter. I still wonder at how God took it all away.
ReplyDeletePls how do you forgive someone who made you have an abortion for him and fast forward years later, you are married to someone else and finding it difficult to get pregnant.(All in all I thank God for my hubby 'cos despite everything he has been supportive and he knows everything)
ReplyDeletehe made you have abortion for him or you had abortion for yourself?
Deletemy dear poster,first of all,let me thank God 4 letting u go 2ru dat 'wilderness university' in order 4 u 2 know dat; 'Tough situations dont last,only Tough pipl do!'...my dear,as long as u're not dead yet,i say a big congratulations 2 u!...u mean u went 2ru all dese,& rada dan tankin God 4 sparing ur lyf,u're venting ur anger on d piple dat did dose 2 u?Do u remember d story of JOSEPH n d bible? who sold him out,wasnt it his brodas? so y re u now 'vexing'?my dear,do u know dat my dad is occultic?...do u know hw many times GOd has revealed it 2 me,my mum & siblings??..do u know wat many pastors hv said about him?dey even said dat he'has gone far' do u knw wat dat phrase mean?my dear,every1 has his/her challenges,bt u dont hv 2 let d devil win.As 4 me,i want 2 make Heaven o,& if i hv 2 $giv all d witches & wizards dat come my way,by god's grace,am ready 2 do so.By d way,do u even know dat unforgivness is a sin?..if God shud KILL u now as a result of ur unforgiveness,will u question Him?..my dear,wen d bible says dat we shud 4giv dose who tresspass against us so dat our heavenly Father wud forgiv us,do u tink dat dat statement was in vain? my dear,d implication of d singular biblical statement i made above, is 2 let u know dat God only forgives d sins of dose who forgive odas diers.Most importantly,if u desire 2 make heaven @ last,u'd beta forgiv dose piple dat hurt u oo!..becos,if dose piple repent,dey'd still make heaven,but u wont.i know dat it mite b difficult 2 do so @ first,but u hv 2 force ursef 2 try- u can start by confessn ur sins 2 God & den askn God 2 help u 4giv dose who've hurt u.pls,call dier names as u pray 2 God.pray 4 forgiveness mornin & nite,until God reveals 2ru ur dreams dat He has answered ur prayers!...if still confused,see ur pastor,or prayer warriors 4 more counselling..& den STUDY ur bible!..pls,HURRY,as u dont know wen u'd breathe ur last.(SDKers pls 4give me 4 dis long sermon>its duly needed 2 save a lyf).Godbless.
ReplyDeleteIiv
ReplyDeleteYuu
ReplyDeleteHow do one forgive a husband who never initiates sex, stays 5 weeks without attempting sex with his wife n most time his wife tries to initiate sex, he comes up with various reasons why he cannot deal and only for you to find out he's cheating.....picking up prostitutes and paying for sex when he can't even afford his wife that luxury....so to speak. And you find our he's having unprotected sex with girls he pick up. You find out he's going rounds with these girls but anytime you manage to get him have sex with the wife at home. He considers it a chore. My good people, i'm a practicing Christian but this 1 alone as much as I try to forgive, I find out it's not working for me. I just can't help myself....
ReplyDeleteWork on ur self, u are probably not doing it right. Next time u hv sex with him, fuck him like crazy, bj, cow girl, doggy. Do it all. He will be salivating for u.
DeleteHow do one forgive a husband who never initiates sex, stays 5 weeks without attempting sex with his wife n most time his wife tries to initiate sex, he comes up with various reasons why he cannot deal and only for you to find out he's cheating.....picking up prostitutes and paying for sex when he can't even afford his wife that luxury....so to speak. And you find our he's having unprotected sex with girls he pick up. You find out he's going rounds with these girls but anytime you manage to get him have sex with the wife at home. He considers it a chore. My good people, i'm a practicing Christian but this 1 alone as much as I try to forgive, I find out it's not working for me. I just can't help myself....
ReplyDeletejboomboom, my heart goes out to you. IMHO the best thing to do is to stop asking him for sex and stop having sex with your husband. This is hard but you must. If he is having unprotected sex out there you are exposing yourself to STDs worst still HIV! Please be smart & save your life, especially for your kids (if you have any). I would add that you should submerge yourself in prayers and ignore him for now when it comes to the bedroom. When you stop thinking or wanting sex, it does become a thing of the past. If and when he decides to come back to his senses & face his wife, I would subject him to STD testing. It is good to be people of faith (yes I am a Christian) but you should also be smart about your decisions my dear. It is well with you. God bless.
DeleteFrom personal experience, you have to purpose in your mind to forgive and then present it to God through fasting and prayer and the burden and the hurt will be lifted so that you can forgive. It is not easy, you cannot do it by yourself for it takes the Grace of God, but you can do it. Hence just do it and God will help you.
ReplyDeleteForgiving someone doesn't mean you have to be friends or celebrate the people. It simply means you have taken back Power from that person. It simply means you have decided to heal your own self instead of being Sick/Hurt all the time. Now you sit there being mad and angry about people that are living large and enjoying themselves. Your anger is making you sad, miserable and even sick while the person who caused it is living fine and happy. So even now the person is still controlling you, by forgiving them, you take back their power or ability to make you sad. So in essence forgiveness is for you and not them. By staying mad and not forgiving them, how is that Hurting them in anyway? The only I see hurt here is you... so why dont you summone courage and change that by forgiving them and moving on with your life.
ReplyDeleteTnx sdk nd sdkers ur post i'v lifted me,it has changed my mind over a military police guy who nearly raped me,whom i ve been avin grudges 4, its hard 4me 2 4gt it,even tho he did nt rape me bt he torn my cloths nd saw my nakedness wich made me 2 place a curse on him cos i've nt indulge in sexual intercourse b4,i e(i'm virgin)#my questn is hw do i 4gt wat je did 2me cos de picture ofevryfin d@ hapund d@ day appears 2me anytym am alone or wahna sleep#deraa
ReplyDeleteTnx sdk nd sdkers ur post i'v lifted me,it has changed my mind over a military police guy who nearly raped me,whom i ve been avin grudges 4, its hard 4me 2 4gt it,even tho he did nt rape me bt he torn my cloths nd saw my nakedness wich made me 2 place a curse on him cos i've nt indulge in sexual intercourse b4,i e(i'm virgin)#my questn is hw do i 4gt wat je did 2me cos de picture ofevryfin d@ hapund d@ day appears 2me anytym am alone or wahna sleep#deraa
ReplyDeleteReading all these comments bought tears to my eyes. What can I tell the poster that you all haven't said one way or the other... Someday, I wud tell the story of my life to the world but for now, I'm grateful to God dt I'm still standing.
ReplyDeleteStella, I must say I have learnt and I am still learning a lot from reading your blog. It is not all about gossip all the time but helping each other out. Look at me, I used to take this forgiveness thing so casually but now that I know how serious it is, I am going to God on my knees to ask him to help me, heal my hurt and help me forgive those who have hurt me so he can forgive me too.
ReplyDeletewhen my grandfather died, my father's uncle took over all his property and used the money to send his own children abroad. Guess what, the children never came back to nigeria, nobody even has their contact information. When my father's uncle died, it was my father and his siblings that buried him like their own father. None of the man's children were there. Forgive all those things of the past and press towards the mark you set for yourself.
ReplyDeleteAnty stella tnk u 4 dis post...just ysterdei I walked up to my muslim nebors flat to ask her to forgive me,even though she was @ fault,Last year we had a quarel that we almost fought...so for close to a year we were keeping malice,while I was praying ysterdei smtyn touched my mind I realised that as a christian we need to forgive eachoda so I went to her flat and asked her to forgive me(even though she was d initiator of d whole quarel)If God can forgive us,who are not to forgive odas,a true xtian is one can let go...Dumdum
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