Pick A Fight
Wake up one morning and be at knife’s edge all day. Remember, you’re just waiting for the littlest mistake to pounce upon. Blow it out of proportion and when I say blow it out, I mean nuclear proportions. Pick on anything, especially the things you like most about her, or you can just accuse her of flirting if she so much as looks at another male. Get really angry and mutter “I don’t think this is working” under your breath. If she doesn’t respond, say it louder, then storm out and go have some beers with your mates and make sure you ignore all her attempts to get in touch with you.
Wake up one morning and be at knife’s edge all day. Remember, you’re just waiting for the littlest mistake to pounce upon. Blow it out of proportion and when I say blow it out, I mean nuclear proportions. Pick on anything, especially the things you like most about her, or you can just accuse her of flirting if she so much as looks at another male. Get really angry and mutter “I don’t think this is working” under your breath. If she doesn’t respond, say it louder, then storm out and go have some beers with your mates and make sure you ignore all her attempts to get in touch with you.
Make Up A Spiritual/Diabolical Connection
“My Pastor/Imam saw a vision and he said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore” is a classic. You can also become a born again and tell her you have to break up because y’all have had sex before. For maximum effect you can substitute the “Pastor/Imam” for “Native Doctor”. On this side of the globe people believe a lot in all these spiritual stuff and it has proven to be quite effective from my research and opinion poll.
“My Pastor/Imam saw a vision and he said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore” is a classic. You can also become a born again and tell her you have to break up because y’all have had sex before. For maximum effect you can substitute the “Pastor/Imam” for “Native Doctor”. On this side of the globe people believe a lot in all these spiritual stuff and it has proven to be quite effective from my research and opinion poll.
Get One of Your Side Pieces to Harass Her
You can get her “called out” on Twitter and make sure the matter trends for a bit. Get your Twitter buddies to cyber bully her hopefully she’ll be mad enough to see you for the rat that you are and stay away.
You can get her “called out” on Twitter and make sure the matter trends for a bit. Get your Twitter buddies to cyber bully her hopefully she’ll be mad enough to see you for the rat that you are and stay away.
Sleep With Her Close Friend or Family
One thing I have noticed about girls is that if your girlfriend gushes to her friends and family about how wonderful you are, chances are there is at least one scheming friend or relative that wants to sample your goodies. It’s now up to you to find out who that covetous female is and take her down. For added effect, get her pregnant.Make sure you take a lot of documentary evidence as it will come in handy during your breakup.
One thing I have noticed about girls is that if your girlfriend gushes to her friends and family about how wonderful you are, chances are there is at least one scheming friend or relative that wants to sample your goodies. It’s now up to you to find out who that covetous female is and take her down. For added effect, get her pregnant.Make sure you take a lot of documentary evidence as it will come in handy during your breakup.
Give Her an STD
This a bit extreme but you can pull it off if by contracting some minor STD, nothing major…nothing a little penicillin wouldn’t fix, then transmit it to her at your earliest convenience. Make a fuss and yell at her for sleeping around and infecting you, call her some colorful names for full effect. If she’s cheating, she’ll probably be too embarrassed to make any fuss and she will leave you alone. If she isn’t, well…tough luck.
This a bit extreme but you can pull it off if by contracting some minor STD, nothing major…nothing a little penicillin wouldn’t fix, then transmit it to her at your earliest convenience. Make a fuss and yell at her for sleeping around and infecting you, call her some colorful names for full effect. If she’s cheating, she’ll probably be too embarrassed to make any fuss and she will leave you alone. If she isn’t, well…tough luck.
Get into the Witness Protection Program
Change your address, change your phone number, change your identity, grow a beard, disappear. Think about it, You may lose everything but at least you’ll be rid of her…and you’ll have a very cool beard.
Change your address, change your phone number, change your identity, grow a beard, disappear. Think about it, You may lose everything but at least you’ll be rid of her…and you’ll have a very cool beard.
wow,men is this tactic use-able?
ldies remember any guy using any of these on you?
BY Doug E. Douglas and culled from bellanaija.
That pastor thingy na classic...i still use am late last year after shagging the gal tire
ReplyDeleteUr loss hunnay
DeleteMay God have mercy on you. Olodo anon.
DeleteUr loss really. U should be ashamed of ur ugly self
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: it will never be the portion of all SDK readers, my friends, my family and my self. Gosh! So annoying.
DeleteJust be bold enuf, all dis na serenren
DeleteLawyer sacked to sunbathing on Office Table :)
Bros u wicked wallahi....May God find a place in His hrt 2 4giv u....Amen
DeleteYaron Allah
PENISless man! Olodo!
DeleteI am so sure the lady is thanking God so much for not ending up with u sef!
DeleteWhat goes around comes around boy. Shebi you'll want to settle down? That's when you will meet the person to you term ' The one' and Karma will strike. Good Luck.
DeleteStella, I just need only one authentic way to call it off with my boyfriend.. I have tried everything I can try and he just won't leave!... Biko I need help urgently!
DeleteTaaa! Na only worwor babes these 6 things will work on jare. Ugly girls are always,si desperate go please a man to love them. Pretty girls are always wooed and wowed. Besides, they have very many toasters and suitors falling over themselves to please them. Nothing like being pretty o. To worwor na baaad thing sotay handicap man sef go do shakara for them. Eyah!
DeletePretty pretty,ur comment cracked me up..hahahaha@sotay handicap man sef go do shakara for them.
DeletePretty pretty,ur comment cracked me up..hahahaha@sotay handicap man sef go do shakara for them.
DeletePretty and Ada nnewi you are both utterly stupid and nothing funny in your comment......are handicapped people not human beings? I pray you have children who are physically challenged then we will see if you wlil make them the butt of your jokes.........it's high time people learn not to talk anyhow....
DeleteThis is a very bad tand offensive post (my opinion.)with due respect stella what morals are we to learn from it?the good lord hv mercy on us.
ReplyDeleteOnly cowards will follow these rules. Real men will call it quits firmly not by cowardice rules.
DeleteMen over to you guys.
Memphis u dare not agree/succumb to this...otherwise...u fall my hand.
For the sake of traffic you'll post nonsense abi? The piece is even dry, mtcheeew. Chew d comment as chewing stick, no post am.
DeleteCommon fly off,if it's how to make a guy leave,u'll gladly accept it,hypocrite
DeleteThe genotype issh too work wonders..just tell her ur genotype is not compactible.winks*...#sipsMoetnChandon#
DeleteStella, see as you make Lady england vex?
DeleteSee how all these stupid girls arre complaining because valentine is around the corner.....awon hungry oshi
DeleteBulshit. Hv seen sumone who did all of dat n mayb much more buh d qurl refused 2qo. U can't bulshit a bulshitter
ReplyDeleteSinging SURULERE SURULAYEMi,no matter what we do,some chicks go sing this song tire.
Delete@ kaycee, the chic on ur picture display is damn hot.... No homo oh! Just saying!!!
Deletefor any guy who dares to try any of these with me please remember there 1000 ways to die.....shikena
ReplyDeletereally missed ur blog too Stella my phone went with new year buh glad am back
Well said babe....
DeleteLMAO @ 1000 ways 2 die!
DeleteMrs Anon
Story!...There are some women who won't leave even if you put a knife around her neck....instead,they will be praying for you to change...LOL
ReplyDeleteStella not now plz, it's just a week to valentine nah.....but these are extreme measures o
ReplyDeletereally extreme
DeleteMen can go to any length to get rid of their once loved ladies. But outa all u mentioned,d one they use d most is to pick a fight, i mean a baseless stupid fight. But I thank God no guy has ever dumped me, I see a sign, I dumb his ass. This has always worked for me until I met my hubby ♥♥★
ReplyDeleteSee boosting…...check well dear it happened to u before just admit.
DeleteHate to break it to you, but that's a reverse dump. Giving you a sign so you dump first.
DeleteWhatever as long as DUMPING took place. End of discussion!!!!
DeleteAdmit what anon 4:35? U don't know me so why lie..
DeleteA guy need not to go thru all these pls. Girls should know when a guy is tired of you, and find ur way. It still give you some respect from the guy. Hut if u decide to stay and be patching things because you love him, my you r disrespecting yourself and not just yourself but woman fold. Be sensible in ur relationship and make use of ur initiative pls
ReplyDeleteHmmmm guys are not smiling oh. The first one is a common practice these days and I have used it for a guy sef.
ReplyDeleteBut any guy that uses the remaining four to break up with a girl is from HELL. That kind of guy can equally kill.
Ladies learn to take a walk when your relationship isnt working anymore. mbok.
CeeCee
Number one works for almost all men. They suddenly change from good to bad knowing the girl wl get fed up and quit. Smh... Why bring what you won't eat close to your nose?
ReplyDeleteIt only happen in naija were men treat women like shit...
ReplyDeleteTulalali o! this is beyond boarder line,Douglas the Observer/analyser, you need to be awarded.
ReplyDeleteSounds cruel and inhumane.
ReplyDeleteLol...na real wa ooo.
ReplyDeleteWell, I can't be dat desperate to hold on to a guy dats probably tired of having me around. I'd rather be the first to break up with him.
And again, no guy can ever treat me dat way. I'm such a sweet babe...*winks*
Hahaha. That pastor one made me remember my cousin here. The guy was betrothed to someone else (family links) and he didn't know how to break off from the girlfriend. He came up with the story that the Pastor said if they marry, that he will die young! Na im I tell my sis sey whether na she wan kill the girl oh. Make she leave am. Only to hear 2wks later that the guy ws doing his trad.marriage Fast forward to at least late last year, fully married with a son. And still alive
ReplyDelete"I am gay".
ReplyDelete3 words that results to instant vamooose.
that one can backfire. 14 years no be beans
DeleteNo.1 is standard procedure for guys. They can't do without that one. And before you know it, you will be on ur knees begging your life out to still be the one.men go come de feel like oxygen! A human being kwa! Kai!! Babes sha de suffer oh.
ReplyDeleteTotal Bullshit!!! It takes only a coward to adhere or implement the above stated......@same time, i pity any girl a guy dumps first.............
ReplyDelete@i_ChoPtas_Not
Thumbs up girl!!!
DeleteU just took d words out of my mouth.
A million likes for this comment.
All dis ontop geh head,mean dats tooooo extreme jooor,and yes i experienced d 1st 1 buh i didnt nid 2 b tld 2 back out,i jus bounced b4 dem tell me my life history
ReplyDeleteThis one is strong
ReplyDeleteI pity any lady that has experienced any of these especially the last 4.
ReplyDeleteWill try dat number for my Girl tried of ha tho! It been a year and we av just kissed once. I'm fed up even tho I love ha I can't take it body no be firewood na. Sir alpachino sent via nokia 3310
ReplyDeleteWill try dat number1 for my Girl tried of ha tho! It been a year and we av just kissed once. I'm fed up even tho I love ha I can't take it body no be firewood na. Sir alpachino sent via nokia 3310
ReplyDeleteOh please, just get lost looser
Deleteno wonder people prefer linda ikeji to stella dimoko, u are so immature. please grow up.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly is ur point? Y'all stupid mdfs should stop creating probs n enemity where there's none.
DeleteAnyway tnx for taking time outta ur miserable life to comment,atleast ur fattening Stella's acct bal.
I totally agree. This post is beyond stupid. Smh
Delete10 *likes* for your comment. Absolutely senseless.
DeleteAnd what are you still doing here....? Olodo.
DeleteU re just as DUMB as ur STATEMENT! FOOL!!! Run along u lil TRAMP outta here and go kiss ur lordship's ASS!
DeleteNo wonder your foolishness is very glaring. Olodo.
DeleteWhat are you doing on this blog then? You need to grow OUT. Vamooooos. Ode
DeletePost ur comment and Leave linda ikeji out of it. Yeah we know she is a successful blogger and I read her blog also but most pple here are more mature than pple on linda's blog. Linda's blog is for youths while sdk is for adults. The kind of comments you read here are different from what you read on linda's blog. No offence intended though
DeleteYou are more foolish than the comment you made......so why did ur mature self come to the immature blog if not for d fact that ur level of maturity is still way below SDK's immaturity........ode..
DeleteBut really, this post is not a bit funny
ReplyDeleteAll dis don't work again. Just tell her you converted to GAY. #NewTrendInTown# But remember you could be missing your future partner O... Good wife hard to find. My Opinion
ReplyDeleteIf you tell me you are gay...I'll report you to the police #shikennah#
DeleteSDK what is the moral of this post? *na question I ask oo*. cos some immature guys will capitalize on this.
ReplyDeleteAunty Stella, this ur advice get as e be oo. Oya, tell us the ones wey dem use for u b4 u met ur husband.
ReplyDeleteBuhahahahahaha number 6 made me laugh so hard. This is such a funny post.
ReplyDeleteNah all this wicked Nigerian men dey do all this shit, why not just call her and tell her how you feel? Thank you for this post, am sure it has opened the eye of some ladies.
ReplyDeleteSDK your site is taking the shine out of other blogs now, don't let anybody tell you other wise. Your stories are very juicy and your site is addictive , no mind bad belle people oh. I am a very busy woman but i always find time to comment every day. In my house now my husband and children call me the commenter .Lol.
ReplyDeleteToo many feminists up in here. If Stella runs an article dishing it to guys, y'all will be commenting, but a little humour tageted to make the men happy and you're screaming up and down.
ReplyDeleteIt's just a lil ill humour, and from the write-up, you can tell that the guy does not intend to do half the stupid things in there (except the first one), so y'all should grow a funny bone jor and stop taking yourselves too seriously.
I do have a few to add to that list sef.
7) Light up a blunt in front of her parents
8) While you're at it, do a line of white powder (whatever you do, don't sneeze otherwise all your efforts are wasted.
9) and when you're there, act like an absolute complete jerk. Make sure your table manners go missing and talk about how completely horrible her mom's cooking is.
And before you guys start talking about how I'm an insensitive guy, I am female and married too :-p
And I don't condone entitlement in men, I just understand that they have a diff sense of humour from us women.
And I've seen my brother with some very creepy stalkerish girls. Some of them even try to buy me. Would stalk me to babysit. Do a lot of famzing with my kids on FB and Instagram, one even went as far as buying me a designer bag (which I didn't collect), only for me to find out that she spent a large chunk of her school fees. He was scared to "break up" with her cos once she slashed her wrists when he stopped picking her calls (her mom called him to inform him), so pls, how do you get rid of that kain aunty?
Na to run away o
DeleteNa to run away o
DeleteLol. Your bro should learn to make better choices o. Make he no provoke person to do suicide.
DeleteOLORI
Wow! This is what I need.
ReplyDeleteGod punish that 'STD' idea! Do you know what an STd can do to a woman's fertility? Penicillin curing STD indeed! Mtcheew!
ReplyDeleteVery stupid post. Stella what are you encouraging? Really disappointed honestly. U are a woman and should know how it feels to be used and dumped. Anyways na u sabi
ReplyDeletePicking a fight wont work if she wants to marry o.
ReplyDeleteStella, what do u intend to stir up with this kinda post?
ReplyDeleteA mutual friend of abt 22yrs, pretty babe, on d nxt street, committed suicide cos the guy she loves just won't love her back, I knw d guy. She left a note and posted stuffs on her fb and I'm still sad about it and now this post.
Ladies who has experienced anyone of them would feel really bad. Please, I beg u, I knw u gotta post something but don't post stuffs that teaches people how to break hearts.
Committing suicide cos of a man is somehw o! Whatever happened to dusting urself up and moving on? Well,may she RIP
DeleteSuicide overr a guy? Sorry to say dis 'akutunku e lona orun'
DeleteDunno sha..bt my bf is behaving funny dese days. He doesn't call nor text me,A♏ ∂ 1 doing ∂ calling nd texting,even to tell me 'I love u' dey hard him...we didn't quarrel nd hence dis behaviour. We have gone out for 7 years nw,I A♏ at crossed road,pls advice me SDKers bt no curse pleaseeeeeee!!! Thank you
ReplyDeleteCan't you read the hand writting on the wall?....abeg dump him before he dumps you....are you a learner?....dude has someone else
DeleteAsk him what the problem is, if he doesn't give u a concrete reason, break it up with him!!! No go there waste ur life on a man oh! It's not worth it. Good luck
DeleteDid u say bf of 7yrs??? Hmmm..
DeleteDid u say bf of 7yrs??? Hmmm..
DeleteMadam, if u ask me, i'll say don't ask him anything. Let him be, if he misses ur presence he'll come running back n if he doesn't, the earlier the better. Ain't nobody wasting 7years on a man. Is it until u see wedding IV b4 u wake up?
Delete7yrs bf??? Wow. And I believe uve not asked him what plans he has for you. Sister, you better shine your eye... This is 2014. Don't be caught sleeping on a bicycle. My 2cent.
DeleteThis is disgusting. This is why people still bully people. Who made this up?
ReplyDeleteNo 1 is my thing o. Always doing it with my man especially when I want to go out alone or with my girls. I ll start a big quarrel and as soon as everything is over, I become very meek and gentle until we settle.
ReplyDeleteThere was a day he wanted to start his and I told him calmly, " honey, this your plan won't work o". He quickly behaved himself.
Badt Le bebe!! Good job!
DeleteNo 1 is my thing o. Always doing it with my man especially when I want to go out alone or with my girls. I ll start a big quarrel and as soon as everything is over, I become very meek and gentle until we settle.
ReplyDeleteThere was a day he wanted to start his and I told him calmly, " honey, this your plan won't work o". He quickly behaved himself.
This is wickedness abeg why don't you just sit her down and tell her you're not interested anymore mtcheeeeeewww
ReplyDeletePathetic!!!!! All in the name of breaking up?
ReplyDeleteThis is rubbish biko Stella u didn't need to post ds
ReplyDeleteFor any guy that does all these, all his female children will experience more disappointment than their father did.
ReplyDeleteNever had any sorry arse guy dump me....hell no, I did all the dumping, no dulling......fast forward 2005 got me a tall dark and handsome guy......ladies learn to always be vigilant and don't let nobody take u for granted.....
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