You will not believe what you are about to read.....Well,I am shocked!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
...THAT SHOCKING MOMENT WHEN DH WALKS IN WITH SIDE CHICK....
Good day Stella.
I hope all is well with you and your family. Straight to the point of this email....
It's with a heavy and confused heart that I write this email to you. As I speak to you, I just landed back in the U.K leaving my husband in Lagos, barely one week after our 1 year wedding anniversary.
Stella, if I tell you that I suspected my husband of being unfaithful I would be lying. My story is a bit long but I'll try to make it short.
I met my husband here in London 4 years ago when I was 23. He's British Nigerian and I'm British South African, he's a Doctor and I work in Advertising.
Last year, my husband decided it would be a good idea for him to move to Nigeria so he can start various businesses, while continuing to practise as a Doctor, and I will follow him after he has settled everything.
My work is very understanding so they were willing to let me go and I can come back if I change my mind because I'm very good at my job.
I'm a business woman myself, alongside my job I do makeup and I design clothes so I'm very driven and hardworking so I saw his vision and decided to support him.
After he left, I started seeing changes like he wasn't calling or returning calls as frequently but I understood because life in Africa isn't easy when you're trying to hustle plus he's on call most times so that means working 24hrs sometimes. (At least I thought)
Long story short, I moved to Nigeria to join him six months ago. And on the 26th of April it was our 1 year anniversary. My husband told me that he has to work so we can't celebrate our anniversary that day. Stella, I was angry, I even cried but I didn't let him see because I'm trying my best to be reasonable, so on the day I expected at least a card, a cake... Anything but I got nothing. Not even a good morning kiss but I woke up, made him breakfast and he left for work.
I don't ask my husband for any money for anything because I have my own, his friends come here almost daily to eat, drink etc and leave plates for me to wash and smoke in my house. I choose silence.
Well that evening, my friend decided to come take me to celebrate my anniversary instead of me being alone and sad and I love her for that... When we got to the restaurant, my friend and I were talking and I was telling her how sorry I feel for my husband that he has to work, she agreed that at least my husband isn't lazy so we thanked God and giggled about it.
5 minutes later what do I see? My husband walking in with another woman.. The same man that claimed to be working that evening. Stella, I wished at that moment that I was dreaming or watching a movie. My husband and I looked at each other, my friend was shocked and I was speechless.. Yet he proceeded to sit down with the lady. My friend insisted we confront him but I said no, God will fix it for me. We finished our meal and left.
When I got home, I prepared his things for him as usual for the next, because he likes eating breakfast when he gets home from work. Stella, this man didn't even bother to call me.
So I decided there and then to pack my bag and book a flight, and come back to London since he thinks he can treat me like a fool and il stay and smile, no. I'm a praying, woman. Even with my business and busy time, I still find time to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday
Since I got here, he's been begging me crying, promising heaven on earth. His entire family, his father, and my own family too have been begging.
His mum is like my own mother and she is heartbroken.
He sent me various emails saying he doesn't know what had gotten into him. That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself.
Please BV's, tell me where I went wrong? Is being independent a bad thing? I'm so free with my husband, I don't question him, don't snoop through his phone or question him, and I get along with all his family and friends, I love people and I'm not a person that likes drama.
Was I wrong to leave? Should I forgive?
Advice, cursing and prayers are welcome.
Thank you for walking away and not getting into a fight with him or her and Embarrassing yourself.
I am too shocked to give any kind of advice and all i can say right now is ....
Let me sit and read comment
ReplyDeleteHe lied to you yes, but we don't know his affillations with the said lady,even though I praise you for not creating a scene, I think you should have heard him out before hurrying to leave, its good to be independent but its also good to snoop, as much as you pray for him you have to put your ears on the ground. Please forgive him, God has began the process of healing your home...., take care
DeleteEfe, e get when u no dey sit and read comments, u get brain at all? Must u comment? U for go stand for pole read comments now, oniranu oshi! I'm very sure u didn't read the chronicle.
DeletePoster, your husband is a chronic cheater n he'll still do more
You even have enough time to cook for him after seeing him with an olosho... What do I know again.
He didn't greet you for two reasons.one,he didn't tell the other lady he is married.two,he has spent on her and hasn't slept with her.at that moment,he did a quick math and figured,he'd come back to beg you and give you the cock and bull story that he gave you.
DeleteMost people will do as they want irrespective of our advise .mark my words though,he will repeat it.
Sometimes I don't know what we men want..... Pls forgive and give him a 2nd chance.
DeleteThe worst thing is that the lady her husband is dating might even be a SDK blog reader, the person may be reading this and even cussing herself unknown to her. Well, to all the ladies dating married men, una well done, the Lord is your strenght o, there's God oo
Delete*Larry was here*
Don't just dare go bk they want to use u.u are his personal maga
DeleteUr kind is rare. God will fix it just trust Him and btw, pls go back to Nigeria so someone doesn't wreck ur home completely
DeleteGoing by this your narrative, I must say in all honesty that you haven't shown our husband enough love. I am not going to go with people here praising you to have been a good wife. Yes you acted very mature at the restaurant but at the same time you should have walked up to him there with the girl and let the girl know he is your husband without creating a scene. You sound too much like a person with the 'I don't care attitude'. Honestly speaking, you need to ask him about his whereabouts in a very subtle way, at least to show him that you really care about him. I guess you ain't doing all that because you obviously feel you are very independent and can fix yourself. YOU HAVE BEEN SELFISH..... "MARRYING YOURSELF"!!!!!!! Being a good wife is more than just being independent, washing and cleaning or cooking..... You think that's how to show love or that you care?????? Please, I beg you take him back! If what you have written here is true.
DeleteGod bless you marriage dear.
GOD BLESS NIGERIA.
Please don't take him back, you can not make a man love u, a man that does not respect u does not love u. If u take him back you'll just end up being someone else (a needy person) because u are trying to keep your marriage, and he will cheat the second time and the third time and the forth time till infinity time.
DeleteAnd if u must take him back,what u can do is look for distractions for now, let him be for like 6 months and then stop being understanding, I've said it before men take understanding women for fools. Let him leave everything he is doing in Nigeria and come and focus on you wherever u are. In a relationship each partner gives 100/100 percent each, not 50/50percent, not 70/30 percent. U were doing 90/10. People think love is easy,it is not, it is very hard work and both of you need to put in that work.
My dear is good you left to clear your head a little but please don't stay there for too long. Come back and fix your home if not another lady will take over. Come back and have a heart to heart talk with hubby and if he says you are too independent please change a little sometimes men like to feel that u can't do without them. Ask him for help sometimes and also ask him for money. Make him feel important and that without him u can't live.Please don't let this linger for so long
DeleteClassic! Now he turns it on you and blames you for things HE decided, out of his own FREE will, to do.
DeleteDid he ever complain about you being too independent and bla bla bla? He doesn't need your permission to be a man. All he needs is to just BE THE MAN, damn it! How hard is that?
It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, especially if this is how you were before you guys got married. May you find peace in whatever decision you make.
I hate it when a man uses a good woman's head! There's nothing wrong with being independent,he is just using dt as an excuse!
DeleteSome men ehh, they can like to use someone's head!
You were in d restaurant and he refused to come over, no remorse whatsoever, madam, you alone will advice yourself bcos you felt d pain alone, I have said d few things I know...
You are ok. He's just saying that cos he's looking 4 a stupid excuse. Didnt he know all that before he married you.
ReplyDeletepray abt it cos he's ur husband not bf. Since he's remorseful give him a chance.
Men too dey nono. Sigh!
Fix it Jesus
Fuck him like you are his bicth, he will nerve leave you
DeleteHe's just looking for excuse...
DeleteMadam, this part
Delete"He sent me various emails saying he doesn't know what had gotten into him. That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself"
is quite heavy. It looks like he is stupid for saying that but believe me he is not. I don't know if you have someone you can talk to, a very elderly person or a counsellor. Repeat this statement in quote to the person and hear what the person will tell you. Your husband is an ass for cheating but please while you are hurting, healing and wondering what to do next, do a little bit of research about that statement. It is well.
Need a yummy Birthday/Wedding cake in Abuja? Home / office delivery. Also send a gift of cake to your loved one in Abuja.Pls click on my ID to see pics and my contact details.
I feel u .
DeleteWhen I read these stories I get scared of settling down. Here's a woman who doesn't bug his life. If he had issues with her why not say so? Why cheat? This is what some men want. This is truly the case of ignoring the diamond necklace in your hand and fighting for mud outside... Honestly I feel sad when I read such. Communication is very important. He should have acted like a man. And spoke to her. Now he's giving one lame excuse. I love the poster. I admire her strenghth to walk out. She should move on and find a man who will understand her better cause this dude may continue his habbit. And in future he will blame her. Its obvious he's very insecure and channels it out by cheating. A man who is confident will speak to his woman about his issues and see if they can work it out
DeleteHugs and kisses to her. Sorry for the semi essay
D hrt of men shaaaa,am so angry,just cry it all out,it won't be bad if u later think to give him a second chance,
ReplyDelete********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*********
This is really sad.
ReplyDeleteI'll just wait for comments
Some men sha. But I do not judge on a one side tale. I prefer to hear from both sides. May God fix this for you my dear if this story is true. Some men can be annoying sometimes. The Lord is with you
DeleteIf BVs decide to wait for comment what will be the lot of the poster. Efe kelvin and co no need typing am waiting for ccomment, assume ghost mode and wait for comments to roll in.
DeleteDear forgive him this time OK! It's good the way you left so he'll know he can't mess with you!
DeleteMen una too dey cheat nawa
Reading this Im so furious. U do evrything right wahala, u don't wahala. I just tire
ReplyDeleteAm sorry poster,but this is expected when a marriage is not built on Christ forget church going.let Jesus fix this !
DeleteAwww I'm so impressed with your disposition. Not easy to be all calm in the face of all this. I'm also glad he is crying n begging u, means he is willing to repent. Pls come back asap, talk and work it out with him. Go for counselling in a good church and let God fix it. X
DeleteLol. Dear poster your problem is that you're too independent and it makes you come on too strong. In sure that chick he was with is a small girl, the one that will ask him for money for the smallest things and even ask for permission to freaking breathe!
DeleteDear poster you should understand that men are babies. Very big babies! They like to feel like they're in charge and wor betide that woman that doesn't make him feel so. You know there's a way you can make a man feel in charge meanwhile you're the one calling the shots anyways, like they say the man is the head while the woman is the neck and it's the neck that turns the head.
So what am I trying to say? Even though it seems like it's not in your nature from what I read but try and pipe down on the whole independence thingy, even though you know what his answer is going to be on certain things or his reaction on a particular matter, sha still do like you're asking for his permission. Men tell you they want a strong and independent woman but lie lie deep down they still want that woman that will come and cry to them on their every need. Yes now. That's how they feed their savior complex anyway.
That being said, your husband is sha a wicked person still because independence or no independence he ought to take u out on your wedding anniversary. Haba! One year?!
You did d right thing,I admire ur courage but please give him a second chance, at least you've made ur point clear to him.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o. My question is, what exactly do these men want? This woman from her narrative is the definition of a cool headed, God fearing, independent and drama free woman. Yet the husband still wasn't satisfied??? It is well
ReplyDeleteHonestly, what do these men really want? Smh...it is well
DeleteI keep telling girls to stop forming independent to their men....that's why I love my Igbo sisters...
ReplyDeleteWe tax these men ehhheee that they won't have penny to spend on other girls....
Poster,please forgive him and take him back but make sure he go for an HIV and STD test to avoid stories that touch...
I have noticed men don't like good girls...as wild as I am,my man still worship the ground I walk on...
People say na juju but it's not cos am playing my card wella...
Please your men complain about how materialistic you are and then beat you to nonsense. Please let us hear
DeleteMen really don't like overly independent women. They like to be needed, to be asked and all that
DeleteBiko nwane teach me ir tatics*kisses*
DeleteIdi very correct.
DeleteI still collect money to relax my hair.
Queen chop knuckle jare! Na so I be before. I used to play good wife, no questions asked. No taxation without representation does not pay. Tax him , query him, throw small craze once in a while and he will appreciate you. Yes, make your own money for yourself but make his money yours too. Be a helpmate not room mate
DeleteNne dalu soo... i was about telling her that b4 i saw that she shldnt b indepedent with a Nigerian when i saw wht d ingrate told her that...
DeleteLadies hold ur ears ohh ehhe...
On no account should u act like u are independent when u in a r/ship or even married sef....
Forget o... men likes their ladies to disturb them.. no matter how little they earn becos this makes d sensible ones never to b lazy ....
Men use the word my wife is a nag when they want to justify their stupidity or waywardness whereas most of them enjoy to see u nag abt ur need right inside of them. this gives them sense of supriority so, give them some romantic nagging but dont over nag (rme its only whn he didnt do wht u requested)
NARRATOR- try and forgive him nd request for HIV /STD test becos he could b one of that test whistling tohtoh b4 treating o... but ,knw he will do it again if u are nt careful ADVISE- Snoop him all d time(ie if u still want him back)
*welcome to naija where all things remains possible* Ka -odigo du!
Linda pls I need some lessons oh. Put me through, on how to make my man worship the ground I walk on. Come back and answer biko. Consider a sister pls
DeleteLol @playing your card wella..who we go ask na..
DeleteGod bless you Linda Eze. 1000 likes.
DeleteMen don't like good girls, understanding girls, drama free girls,nice girls. Men like to have a run for their money. It's so annoying. If u are a girl that doesn't ask for money, they would start spending it on someone else. Mad people, I think it specifically Nigerian men sha, why would u be cheating, and u see your wife and you still went in with the dinner. It's either of two things, he us also married to that girl/woman Or the girl is a crazy girl and he lied that he wasn't married so he didn't want embarrassment, and he knows he will still beg his wife and she will come back. That is the height of disrespect. There's nothing I hate more than disrespect. Cheating bastards
DeleteLinda u be better babe.
DeletePls ladies let's endeavor to leave these men to be MAN while we are the receivers .
May God fix ur marriage @ poster.
Hmnnnnnnn
ReplyDeleteHe has told you his observations and what pushed him out.
Work on it.
Give him another chance
Like seriously, Bloglord? He went out cos she's a good wife? Smh
DeleteThat's not a reason jare. So if she begins to demand and bug him, he won't complain she's nagging eh? On her anniversary sef....nonsense
DeletePoster, your marriage is young. I wish I were as strong as you. Please go back home, don't stop being independent and never stop looking good....it's people like you I love to be friends with... Motivators.....keep praying...
Thats just it. Many people won't understand.
DeleteOh please! So he can disrespect the hell out of her again. If you want to fix your marriage, let him start by respecting you because I see that you respect him too. Imagine if the reverse was the case, you'll be dead by now. A sensible man would have escorted the side chick out immediately. And waited for you outside. The man has no respect
DeleteBlog lord why should she work on it? So she should work change who she is because her husband wants his ego to be boosted abi? Long hiss, He should work on himself, when she decides that he is good enough she will take him back. This post has pained me ehn,i can't stop commenting.
DeleteWhat can I say?
ReplyDeleteIts not bad to be independent nao haba,
Now that he said you behave like you are married to yourself, I advice that you give him another chance, forgive him dear.
I'm happy you packed your things and left. He'll know that you won't take shit from anyone at all and you have a life if he messes up.
Just forgive him dear, its if he does it again you'll know he's irresponsible. Tell him your concerns about anything and let him drop money for the house even if you make Nigeria's budget monthly. It's well dear.
Forgive him and give him another chance. Now he knows you won't tolerate rubbish from him. Just give him a slap on his head and hug him.
Oya issokay you hear???
Kpele.
.
.
.
.
.
If you start out as the other one, you'll never be the only one.......
@Mosi_Tash_Jazzy
On the streets of hell will many a man strut...
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm, things happen oooo. Wifey is independent, it's a problem. If she is dependent, it's a problem too. Men, which way na???
ReplyDeleteUnfaithful horseband everywhere....mschewww. Am so annoyed
Jesus please fix it.she sounds like a nice woman.men are never satisfy.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love u darling poster, big hug and kisses to u darling. U save urself a big african embarrassment by living him without a word. U can forgive him if u wish dear, the choice is urs. Good luck dear
ReplyDeleteForgive him but if he dsnt change liv,thank God u r British and not dependent on him
DeleteNigerian men can say "ANYTHING" when caught;
ReplyDeletemy dear, its well
welcome 2 a married woman`s life in Nigeria
Forgive but don`t forget & continue ur marital life..
All those things he said are no excuse for cheating on u
ReplyDeleteImagine leaving u for a side chick on ur wedding anniversary
That's so wrong
I thank God u are independent
Poster if u ever go back to ur hubby,please spend his money so much that he won't have any to spend on a side chick
Nonsense!!
Let me say thank you for not fighting him in public, becuase that would have made you cheap. You actions are very mature that is why he is running back to you. Men usually like it when they see their wives cry because of things they do.
ReplyDeleteHe disrespected by still going ahead with his date even after sighting you. Some men will take to their heels immediately.
My dear please you can still give him another chance.
Men sef, you nice na wahala, you no nice na problem.
As in, he no even fear.
DeleteMade eye contact with her and still went ahead to have a peaceful date.
She shouldn't have fought o, but she should have gone to meet him,what if the girl was a business partner or extra wife sef,someone that was forming busy when she was in jand,no matter how busy a man is he always has time to check on his loved ones,she should have gone to say hi at least so the girl will know he's married and she herself will know if there is more to the story,because he is a wicked man,on your anniversary u left your wife at home and decided to cheat. Bastard. Please walk away now that u can o. Marriage is not a do or die affair. The sole purpose of. Marriage is love, if u guys can build back the love then that's the only time u should take him back.
DeleteExactly,
DeleteMost likely he is asking for a second chance because your reaction was the exact opposite of what he wanted. His ego would've been out of this world if you had confronted him or shown some kind of emotion e.g crying, becoming a shadow of yourself e.t.c. This tells a lot about the type of man you married.
He quickly realized that he couldn't break you , and that you're not a member of the "I must be a Mrs club"...you took all the power from him.
How can your husband walk in with another woman, look you in the eye and proceed to hang with her? Sweetheart, your reaction floored him and smashed his ego. You were able to leave cause you have your own thing going and can do bad all by yourself...one of the reasons why I encourage Nigerian women to do their best to be financially independent no matter how rich their husbands are.
Sweetheart forgive him but taking him back or not is up to you. If you decide to take him back, never forget what he's capable of. Also, if you take him back things gotta change...insist that he starts spending money on you a lot, stop doing all the house chores yourself, be independent but allow him to invest more into the marriage. His sole contribution to the marriage shouldn't be just waking up and going to work.
Nobody prays for divorce or a bad marriage and I pray that if you decide to continue with your marriage, God will bless it and if not, God will give you a better man.
Everybody take note " men usually like it when They see their wives cry Bcos of d things they do"... I can relate to ds. Makes dem feel like a demi god! Women, don't give them the pleasure. Be strong!!! I'm just waiting to start my business and let it start booming.. My hubby will see the other side of me. INDEPENDENT!!!! Live life and be happy. No man is worth dying for or trading your happiness for. Once you hv a comfortable place you can go to (should anything happen to your marriage) they'd treat you nicely. But most women are stuck and the husbands know it hence they treat them like trash. I'd work hard to be able to pay my rent and other bills myself. To hell with men who don't treat marriage as something dt is sacred!
Delete#In Okija Wife voice
ReplyDeleteOloriburuku husband
Seriously,gf,MOST men cheat.
You caught him once and you have left? Chaaaaaaaai.
As a wife,mother,potential grandmum n mother-in-law,pls go back n work on your marriage.
I have told my hubby that anyday i catch him,i will leave with my KIDS n my BOOKS. I said all these but deep down in my soul,i wont.Why?. In my soul,i told myself that he,my dh,is not perfect. He is a man,a mortal man. He takes care of everything that concerns me n mine n more. He is not found wanting n why would i leave my home,the home i built from scratch for another lady to enjoy
It sounds old schoolish but i dont care.
Your hubby is wrong but what can you do but forgive?. If he does it frequently n disrespects you,then you can apply cameroun pepper to all his boxers n then move back to London
Could i have said it better? You've spoken well. Your sense of humour though, grande!
DeleteSmh.....when he cheats on u, pls don't run to SDK. Stay with him and keep being a wife, mother, mother-inlaw and grandmother.
Delete#Poster, give him another chance but make it clear to him that you don't trust him. Pray well and God would put the broke pieces of your marriage together for u
LMAO@apply cameroun pepper to all his boxers.Chai!you people will not kill me on this blog
DeleteHahahahahahahahaha @cameroun peper. Irene B one zillion likes for dis comment. Walking away is not ideal cos it's his first time(i mean d first u saw). What of pple who live with legendary cheat as husband nko? My sister all I can say is forgive him. U know he is man and didn't come with instruction manual. Still Jesus fix it!
DeleteAgain,why will you not be collecting money?.
DeleteIs he not your man?.
Me,i collect o. I even inflate the bills sometimes. Which wife doesnt?
My dear u r a true naija woman. In fact i dont know hy stella saidnits shocking. Maybe cos she marry oyibo. Dh did it to me. He begged and begged and i forgave him. God dey
DeleteMy hubby told me he cheated cos the house was too noisy. Kids making noise everywhere. They r his kids o!!! Any excuse goes for naija men.
DeleteI concur with u men cheat and they tend to give lame excuses.......she's too independent....too clean and takes care of the home even with busy schedule....wants to look good by going to the gym and I wonder all this is been done all because of our DH......and sometimes they don't appreciate our effort.........who are we not to forgive them
DeleteYour last line got me in in stitches. Lmao
DeleteLol Cameroon pepper?
DeleteLmao@apply cameroon pepper to all his boxers.
DeleteIrene b,you are a case.... .i lurr you
Men want some attention.it isnt wrong and will never be to be independent but dont go all the way letting your man know or feel or think''i got this''.
DeleteSeek his opinion,ask for money all the time for everything.. ..the heck!! Hes a man and got a job.
Rene ben onye ara.
DeleteLol @ Irene the correct babe!!
DeleteU are so right.....this man own pass oloriburuku!!!
@poster, go back at ur own risk oooooooooo!!!
Nonsense!
Lmaooo!!!!! Cameroon pepper... Why evus! Dt'd be a good way to punish DH when he misbehaves :D
DeleteThis is the problem i have with women. We always end up blaming ourselves. Madam u did nothing!!!! Shikena.
ReplyDeleteWen u cling, u r too clingy, when u dont, u are too independent. puh-lease!
Please just chill in ur UK and make him suffer. hes stupid. i hate stupid men. i cant take infidelity. its a deal breaker for me.
Then get ready to keep jumping from one man to another
DeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteI am speechless but I appreciate the way you handled yourself at the restaurant 🍴
Abeg..na comments I go Sitdon read o..
Thank God you are a strong lady and independent .Please come back to your husband and let bygone be , its painful living with an unfaithful man but pray God gives you the heart to forgive though not easy to forget.Marriage is for better for worst.May the good Lord fix your marriage in Jesus name.Amen.
ReplyDeleteNowhere in the Holy Bible was it written that marriage is "for better for worse". If you doubt it, please quote the scripture so I can go read it myself.
DeleteAnd before you come at me with "God hates divorce", remember that adultery is the one valid reason the Bible gives for divorce.
That said, I am in NO way insinuating that the poster gets a divorce.
And you wonder why some of us have refused to just be married... we can't understand our generation, like the pic said... Fix it Jesus!!!
ReplyDeleteYou refused to get married cos no man is willing to marry you...
DeleteYou have refused to just be married or you couldn't get a husband.
DeleteMy darling, I love u already.U did nothing wrong, men must find a reason for all their cheating.The only thing I need to add is kudos u r a strong woman.U know why things played out this way cos u didn't say a word n I respect u so much.No cussing u, bt if he says that u don't let him feel like a man in his home, n ask abt his movement then maybe that's all he needs for attention give him the attention but I won't advice u throw away the marriage.Pls note if u had snooped ud av known.Now u know u can't trust him as much as u used to these men shudnt be that trusted give them a benefit of that doubt bt don't throw ur heart trusting or this happens again.Now u know these don't expect too much from DH.U must hurt and even cry cos u r human but don't let it break u
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
South african women leave us the fuck alone...... I hate all of yu. Stay in london and dont bother coming back.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Wetin na, u need some honey.
DeleteSmallie...
DeleteYou are really myopic for this comment!!!
DeleteE no go better for the person wey do u this thing.
DeleteYou're disgusting. Extremely aka amu-ish
DeleteLol...ode
DeletePoster I love u already
Plz give him a second chance
Work on those things he mentioned
Snoop on him
Collect his money
Ask about his welfare..
Be all lovey dovey..
You are a FOOL!!! Nkapi.
DeleteStop being nasty. If you have nothing to say leave it alone.
DeleteYour stupidity is alarming... I don't like insulting people but ure just a sorry excuse for a human being. You hate all of them? Two wrongs make a right Abi? Smh for you...
DeleteU don't have sense eedreams
DeleteShut up, all you know is to hassel money from blog to blog, I am sure that you have received a giveaway from a South African blog visitor and you have not rejected it. If you hate us so much why do you accept our money? I know you very well from another blog...
DeleteI was about calling you Onye nzuzu but I thought better of it. Next time if you do not have anything tangible to say you shut up inugo?! Ana eku Ihe welu isi umuazi etinye onu na kor rubbish namsense!
DeleteKid
DeleteAre you okay at all? Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the honest truth, a lot of screws are loose in your head. You are a disturbed child.
DeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteFor once I got nothing concrete to say!
Guy cheated cos u are what?
Don't stop being independent!
But Start asking him for money!
Ask even money to buy toothbrush *laughs*
Bang Shege from his head!
Give him one more chance! Pls? Can you?
And see if he would change if U too become sensitive to his craving n vice versa.
But if u can't! No wahala
Sometimes fight! But if d other party frustrate ur efforts, u can quit trying to quench fire.
This is so so heart breaking.. Am so sorry!
ReplyDeleteI feel you did great by not fighting or creating drama.
Leaving him alone to think was the best thing anyone can do.
Am glad his family's are begging and he is too. The question is what does your heart say???
My advice is prayers fixes everything,I am a living witness!
Pray in the holy ghost,speak in tongues ,dispatch your angels to go ahead of you to make all bent way straight,to right all wrongs.
God will fix it in the spirit,but act in the flesh.
God never fails, your marriage is fresh and I know its hard to trust again ...ouch!
Just ask God for direction,he never misleads.
May God bless your home and bring back happiness. #Amen.
A Powerful, Power-filled and Perfect Woman you are indeed !
ReplyDeleteYou did excellently my dear not creating a scene in that restaurant "How many women can put up that act of maturity ?" me inclusive
You have moved on (YES) still be on your knees, don't rush it. May be he doesn't deserve someone like you
MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN MEN !
The 6 months separation may have also contributed, think about what he said is it true? Only you know the answer to what is missing in your relationship. Maybe you should go back to your husband to sort things out and see if the marriage can work out.
ReplyDeleteClick on my name for top quality virgin human hair that looks and feels lush. Thanks
LADY IGO:
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS POSTER FOR BEHAVING LIKE A CHRISTIAN;
That is what we've always taught ladies; confrontation is not the christian character but rather gentility, kindness and being prayerful.
You can join us in the fast as I paste below and seek the Lord for the way forward:
TO THOSE WHO ARE FASTING (6-6PM FOR 7 DAYS drinking only water and reading the gospel of John; AT LEAST ONE CHAPTER PER DAY and watching for an hour at least from midnights. Keep away from sexual immorality) and praying after reading My comments in the chronicles of yesterday (http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2015/04/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_29.html#more) :We started the fast today. Anyone is free to join us; pray for your own needs; all those things you've been running from pillar to post, "men of god" to "god of men" to spiritualist etc. It is time to humble yourself and talk to JESUS.
Today, I read with you from the gospel of John 1 and here is our memory verse: Gospel of John one
11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the RIGHT TO BECOME CHILDREN OF GOD— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
God wants you to be his child so that you have these rights (to healing; of your broken hearts, kids, marriage, etc. Matt. 15:21-28).
PRAYERS: Simply tell Jesus to "come into my life and be my Lord. Thanks for cleansing me of my sins and blessing me. No man can curse me". Etc. All he wants to see is your faith; not your denomination or race.
For those who are asking to "see LADY IGO": She is not in Nigeria, she lives in the far western "hemisphere" with her husband and kids for years now doing God's work. All our seeing is on http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/
Stella's blog rocks: come under my comments and ask questions and we'd answer them. My interest especially (but not exclusively) is in the healing of "hurting ladies".
Kindly check "in house news" and "chronicles" everyday for update on the fast. BE FREE TO JOIN . . .
FROM LADY IGO WITH REGARDS.
OMG!!! Men... so he saw u and didn't move a muscle and now he's begging? What does he want u to do?
ReplyDeleteHmnnnnnnn, the Lord is ur strength my sis,men can be funny shay
ReplyDeleteHmmmm men, n to think dt de cheat n still expect u to forget everytin as if it didn't happen just bc of some flimsy excuse de will give still baffles me. Anyway, if u can forgive him, go ahead but if not, walk away n by God's grace, a man dt will value ur traits will come calling. I wish u well.
ReplyDeleteHello Lady,
ReplyDeleteI am not supporting your husband's actions. However, this is exactly where you went wrong.
That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself.
My dear, there is more to marriage that cook, clean, sex and money. There has to be a connection. Please go back and fix your marriage.
Leaving him makes things worse.You guys need to pray, talk and help each other become a better wife/husband.
God bless you and your marriage.
Olaniike
MEN and their insatiable desires...you marry a dependent woman, you complain & call her a liability; you'll marry an independent one & still complain..Maybe he's threatened by your success. That man is just a cheat bcos you even have the time to cook and clean for him, yet he still complains. He probably wants you to wipe his ass after defecating.. He's just using that as a flimsy excuse for cheating bcos u caught him. He's gonna do it again & again so it depends on you if you're willing to accept that.. MEN! MEN!! MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! URGGGHHHHHHHH..some independent women don't even have time for chores.. in fact.......
ReplyDeleteAll these men. Hian!
ReplyDeletePls forgive him and come back.
He has realised his mistakes.
Poster 2 Me, I Believe U Leaf 2 Fast, U Shud Have Waited For Him 2 Come Back, Hear from Him 1st B4 Leaving 2 London, Lik Seriously Men Can B Carried Away 2 Easy... My 2 Cent
ReplyDeleteMadam, it is good you did not fight him. Your independence made him feel loose. Men likes to behave like school boys hence you did not treat him as such. I dont condole what he did.
ReplyDeleteHe did not buy you anything on your anniversary because he felt you are way too good. Sorry for the pain you are feeling.
kindly open up communication with him and see how to salvage the situation.
SMH...i dont even know what to say.....this is a sad one. am shocked. First of all no excuse to cheat on your partner.
ReplyDelete"That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself."
lamest excuse ever!!!!!.for crying out loud! those are major qualities any man will love his wife to possess....
My dear,pls filter all the comments you will read here, pray to God to give you wisdom in this situation.
further more it is clear that your marriage lack communication.i wonder why your husband couldnt relate his fears to you.
i also wanna commend you for the matured way you handled the restaurant saga.
What women go through in the name of marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, pls try and forgive n accept him back but if he doesn't change like he promised, you can then take a decision.
Don't stop being independent ooh 2 avoid stories dat touches.
Men...always disappointing
ReplyDeleteForgive but know that once a cheat, always a cheat
Stories i hear this days makes me get scared when i hear the word *marriage*..Women should never close their eyes to somethings all in d name of love (Worst thing that can happen to a woman is emotional stress, a guy doesn't start misbehaving all of a sudden you would av seen this while u were dating) ... When a relationship ends we just don't know that sometimes God loves us so much and he wants to save us from future destruction.... When God closes a chapter, we should be grateful, God sees more than we do. I believe it would have bn easier for you if you were just dating him, u would just walk away easily and move on.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever think he'll change, you are on ur own. You said when u were dating he wouldn't call, acting busy and all that, that is a sign of someone that has other options, u don't even need to snoop, We just need to listen to our intuition as a woman.
I have male friends that are EXTREMELY BUSY, but they always tell me that they can't go a day without speaking with the woman they love. And they also said, if a guy acts all busy, its obvious he has other options. No one can be too busy for their loved ones.
How can he not stay with u on ur 1st wedding anniversary? Thats ridiculous, HE WILL NEVER CHANGE, this is not about praying or going to church, somethings require wisdom. Ladies, please always know when to walk away, u don't even need to explain anything, just STOP and back off so that u don't regret afterwards... If being with a person brings u more pain than joy, that's all the confirmation u need, He is not the one.
For now my darling poster, you just need to be patient and ask for Gods guidance... I love you
okay chikena, start making sure he pays bills, housekeeping etc. Men usually like to feel needed. even if you end up spending more than he can afford, still collect his own. remember you are a helpmate, don't get confused with your role and decide to be the breadwinner.
ReplyDeleteif you move and marry another person, you may end up having the same problem.
Men & wahala.So it's now a bad thing for a man's wife to be considerate,accomodating & nice.
ReplyDeletePoster,your husband wants a mad woman that will show him pepper.Dont even know what advice to give sef,God please take control of this situation.
U r a very matured woman and one in a million. That's why is good to be independent, not waiting for ur hubby to give u everything. Pls just make out some time for him and forgive him. I wish every other woman will emulate you and stop running and crying their eyes out Cuz of them
ReplyDeleteOne sided story.
ReplyDeleteThe woman is so perfect.
We need to hear the husband's side too.
I am too experienced to understand the dangers of a one-sided story
It's so sad. But I had a similar experience. I wk in lagos and dh is in abuja. I got home and met our sales girl in d house at pass 11 ock in d 9t. Friends hv told me abt her sleepin in my house but I neva bothered. Untill I cam bk dt 9t witout in4min him and met d sales girl. Dh said d girl ran out cos she had respect 4 me. I ws devastated 2 say d least. But I culd nt leave cos I hv children. I hv only asked Jesus 2 fix it. Its nt easy dear but Dts d 4 better 4 worse vow we made in d marriage oat. So dear try 2 forgive 4 ursef and try and mk d marriage wk. God is ur strength.
ReplyDeleteDon't stop being you because when you do he will go and follow someone else. Your husband is as irresponsible as they come. Listen to me, it is your choice to forgive but do not be like the Nigerian women who allow these men to treat them like crap. They will come here and chide you but they are miserable. Your husband should travel to London and you lay down the law that another occurrence will cost him the marriage. Do not be too quick to take in until he shows progress. These men are funny but you have to know how to deal with them or you become a mat
ReplyDeleteIf all dis did not happen, u wldnt ve known u ar not doing things as he want it. just forgive him,and give him another chance. Go out of ur way of life and do as it pleases him. He's just using those things as an excuse but believe me there will be no excuse for him again next time so he will be very careful.
ReplyDeleteIn as much as he obviously has a side chick who appears to be important to him, otherwise he would have walked out of the restaurant to give you your respect.
ReplyDeleteI fear you have almost lost your DH .
he has raised valid points whether you like it or not.
if you love this man you will need to carefully do things right.
let him be the man in the house, if you do not have anything to do with your money, shop for yourself with it.
let him pay bills, also your husband owes you the duty of telling you his movement. you need to always know, your thinking these thing don't matter to a man, particularly a Nigerian is wrong. he will just feel you don't really need or probably don't love him.
don't let people fool you. understand how Nigerian men are since you are not Nigerian, they like to wear the trousers in a marriage. so change your style to keep your man
Y better leave his bitch ass immediatly. He Will continue to cheat on you
ReplyDeleteAll these people telling you to stay in Uk are bitter, lonely women who are looking for whom to join them in their world.
ReplyDeleteif your husband is truly remorseful, take him back. BUT!!!!
Let him be a man, let him foot bills, let him have responsibility. you are only meant to support.
A man is meant to take care of a woman and take includes and not limited to paying house rent, household allowance, taking care of you, buying cars for the family. you can support him to achieve this things but its his responsibility please. Make this dude a MAN
Madam, Pls come let me hug you. Cry all you want. You never did anything wrong. Oga is just looking for an excuse to make you feel guilty.
ReplyDeleteBut please please, if you want to accept is apologises, dont let him get hold of your passport o.Such a mana wont mind rendering powerless to deal with you.
The Lord will console you.
Men will always be Men. Forgive him. But i am not assuring u that he wont eff up again just that he will be more care ful and more RESPECTFUL.
ReplyDeleteHello BVs I hope when my hubby post a story of me cheating on him, you all will tell him to forgive me and not curse me out... Pls dear move on. its hard but do it. he has no respect for you or your person. Of all days you... He will do it again and again sorry but its true. How many men forgive a cheating wife? The least he could do was come meet you on your table and beg at once not when you have moved on. Men like that are enemies of progress wants you to depend on him... ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI hate to say this but...just walk away. Its barely 1 yr and he can't hold his blokos. Please end the marriage.
ReplyDeleteStella...this your "Jesus fix it" na by force oh
ReplyDeleteMEN...MEN ...MEN!!!! when will you learn...can y'all come out and say exactly what you want?? cos this right here is an example of an almost perfect woman to me
Poster...me i never marry oh...but i can honestly say i felt your pain while reading this...maybe cos i see a lot of me in you....Thank God you are a praying woman cos God is definitely gonna fix this...and you are coming out of this better and stronger..let God use you by forgiving your husband and going back to build your home... remember thats what the wise woman does...builds her home....this too shall pass darling...e-hugs..(forgive my epistle...started typing and just couldnt stop...#okbye#)
I really appreciated you darlyn, you are a strong woman. Trust me, i have learnt something from you. But please you will have to go back to your husband but not after you have made him beg his life out. This time around make sure he pays for every single thing in the house even to your pad sef, let him pay. my dear forgive him especially for your sanity but please never you forget.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteFix it Jesus.
My dear, forgive him, both of you shd go for STD tests because he did not cheat once, you just happen to catch him one time. Do not stop bn you. Have a heart to heart with him to know what he requires from you and you too tell him what you expect from him. Marriage is complicated my dear. Good luck.
Dear poster.the most important thing is ...be happy between yoursef don let any man steal your happiness,move on jare .he's a looser.
ReplyDeleteIyawo I'm sorry about the pain your husband has caused you, please give him a second chance but you must change the following:
ReplyDeleteHe sent me various emails saying he doesn't know what had gotten into him. That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself.
Stop being independent, start asking him for money as in agree a monthly allowance, even after the monthly allowance always complain that you are broke and tell him baby raise me abeg. If you go church together collect money from his hand that you will drop in church. Even if you don't need the money, direct it all to a saving account, children are not cheap o. When you call him during the day ask him where he is what he is doing and who is there with him, you can also txt it to him. Kontinu cooking, cleaning and making your own money. Reduce gym sha, only go gym when he is at work and you are home alone bored. Don't go gym when he is around give him his attention as your husband.
If the nigga cheats on you after you have changed for him then WALK..... He don't deserve you.
Good luck
Common! How can you say that? @ Ed dreams. Its unfair.
ReplyDeletePoster you are too easy! Men like a challenge and the like women with a personality. Biko if you must leave give him a little drama even the side chick must feel your pain. On a second note, give him another chance and be more involved in his life.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lie.u said u didn't react at the restaurant, keep lying o.he came to meet u n u ignore him while speaking with u,and really he was hungry at work n we decided to look for somewhere to cool off.@ Mabel
ReplyDeleteEd dreamz u be oloshious fellow. Please if u don't have any meaningful to say then don't say anything. Lame ass nigga
ReplyDeleteU did nothing wrong... As a matter of fact thumbs up to you for not causing a scene then. Meanwhile, you can forgive him since he's shown remorse...
ReplyDeleteeeeiiishhhh!...am sure he did dat out of xonophobic reasons.give him time.
ReplyDeleteThe best answer for a cheating man, is to ignore him, later he will be the one to beg, look at the way ur husband is begging. Take ur time, but not for long, go back to ur man, talk things over with him, make sure u snoop once in a while, becos snooping has been saving life since generation to generation. Bye
ReplyDeleteMadam you are levelheaded.....I love your courage but at the end of the day it's your marriage that is at stake. He has apologised for his wrong doing so please forgive him and mend your home.
ReplyDeleteI'm not married so I don't know if I'm experienced enough to give any form of advise. From my opinion I think we(women) should learn to balance things, no matter what we do its still a man's world. No matter how independent you are don't make your man feel less than a man, still stroke his ego once in a while. I don't believe in divorce except if there's issue of domestic violence work things out if he wants to and make him feel superior cause if you don't there are many girls out there who will and most times you will be shocked that those girls really don't do much, all they do is make the man feel like a man or feel youthful. It is well
ReplyDeleteI. Can tell you're a gud woman, Sorry hun u did notin wrong, I like ur style sef. U cud give anoda chance tho but like others have said, let d taxing begin. He's just giving a dumb excuse, if you're opposite of all dat now he'd still complain.
ReplyDeleteOkponku Man
I am short of what kind of advice is best here but two things are clear to me...
ReplyDelete1. Your husband need to take responsibility for his actions. He was unfaithful. He cheated. He lied to you. And he took you for granted. Those were choices he made. Of his own accord. He had no right to blame you. Not taking responsibility shows he's unprepared to change.
Get him to take responsibility. He shouldn't blame his weakness and failure on you.
2. It is for better, for worse. He has hurt, wounded and insulted you but you cannot walk out on the basis of his cheating and lies alone. If he abused you or contrived this marriage under false circumstances, then you might leave. But he erred... which is a big deal when it is about unfaithfulness but it can be forgiven.
You need to take the time to sort this out and to address all matters with him.
May God give you wisdom and heal your wounded heart.
My dear, you did nothing wrong. Your husband is a typical African man that will blame you for what he has done wrong. Arrogance on another level. Please when you decide to take him back, let him spend well on you (which is great because you can save your money for a rainy day), but get ready the new complaint will be that you are too dependent on him. When that happens please remind him and his people about what he said in the past. God bless
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your current predicament. All I can advise you to do is to take him back. He has addressed some points which according to him makes him feel less of a man even whilst married to you. Both of you should also go for counselling and also hospital checks to make sure he is clean for your sake.
ReplyDeleteLastly again forgive and take him back with a stern warning that it must NEVER happen again.
PS: I love your ad agency job, took me ages to get even an interview and till date I'm still yet to work in that sector with my degree, sigh
I won't bother reading comments, cos I don't want to read stupid stuff right now.
ReplyDeletePoster, God bless you for being strong. Crying is very ok, cos you're hurt.
Forgive your husband, but take your time ( let him know you've forgiven him, but he shouldn't expect everything to go back to normal 'soon')
In my opinion, 99% of men cheat.
Also, I believe a man wants to be depended on.
He wants you to ask for things, and nag sometimes.
Being an independent woman is great, but u also need to be a damsel in distress sometimes.Crazy but true!
That's how we roll in SA, love you like that sis and I beg you to give him a second chance.
ReplyDeleteHugz!
I think the unfaithfulness of Nigerian men is alarming,disgusting and shameful.God indeed will fix it. As I read your messsage tears rolled from my eyes.you sound peaceful.Let peace be still. Am in the uk, you can email me: debteenath@yahoo.co.uk. Just be calm ,the pain will go.look up to JESUS.For every pain receive gain,every tears receive laughter,for every heartbreak receive mending.I am a girl who will soon be married,yours is just one year and this but Jesus Will take the wheel.Alot of pains in marriage,you hear must people's story and want to return your ring because you don't know what awaits you.BUT GOD IS IN CHARGE. Every spirit that changes men after marriage Lord let your fire consume in the name of Jesus.Every jezebel marked down to confuse any married man,Lord of host let them receive fireeeeeeeeee,Let every married man who is into chasing other ladies receive the garment of holiness,let their dick die suddenly whenever they plan meeting the ladies.OH lord purge nigerian men with hyssop and blindfold them from sins of the eyes.Focus their interest on their wives alone Oh God and make their family their priority.I speak peace into every married woman and their homes.I speak joy. And Love.
ReplyDeleteShalom.
Sexyf
I just love you Stella durlin, Yea, Jesus fix it! And I love all ye in dis blog, your comments are hilarious and true. @ed DREAMs, you try, na yur comment naim dem dey call comment of Life.
ReplyDelete@Poster, I don't know how to advise you, I know am still single at 26 bcos of all dis men bullshit, and am not a forgiving person. What can I do but remain single, and what can you do than punish d hell out of that evil husband of yurs? why couldn't he have just spent yur anniversary with yu! is it so difficult?
I need someone like you as my gf and a man that got you as a wife did this to you hmmm I think he is not thinking straight please madam forgive him give him a chance thank you
ReplyDelete#GODWIN
Honey please dont stop being independent! Men just dont want to take the blame for their wrong. They play these mind games to give the woman they hurt a complex so she can blame herself for HIS wrong. Its emotional blackmail. Don't fall for it. Imagine if you were the clingy, broke woman and this happened?(yes cause it would have happened still!) So please concentrate on your job,that's really more to be trusted than a man. I also wish you have a kid. So you can make your kid ist,ur job 2nd,ur family 3rd,shopping and the luxury life 4th,then hubby 5th😆. Having said that my love,he is your hubby,u will forgive him. Biko nne. Love never runs out of forgiveness and 2nd chances. But dont do so easily. Stay in the Uk,incommunicado for about a month. Then start listening to his gibberish later. After u have recovered from the shock and disrespect(take all the time you need for that) ask him to come to the UK. So you can talk things through. Give he and his family your conditions for remaining in the marriage. Please cry if you have to,ignore calls if you have to,go out with reasonable gfs(cos some gfs will be giving you unrealistic advice),try to keep the circle of people that have heard this really small, ok? U will find happiness in your marriage again boo. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteWhile some guys are praying for independent lady 4 a wife, d 1 dt have seen one z complaining. There is nothing 1 will do that pipu will not complain.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, According to you, u're a praying woman, u go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays. If u know that God has always given answers 2 ur prayers whenever u call on him or begged Him for something, just beg God 2 give u a sign that when u see u'll know ur husby has truly repented. Don't give in so easily to his plea; do small shakara b4 accepting him back. #MyOpinion!!!
*****Mhiz_Derby_Via_Instagram*****
Wow! you re the most amazing woman v ever read her post on this blog, Plz don't listen to advise frm ppl like OKIJA WIFE & CO. you did the right thing as in over right sef for a woman to walk away without engaging in violent.I like you maturity! since he's remorseful 4 what he did plz kindly forgive him. plz my fellow guys/ men don't lose a diamond while chasing glitter.
ReplyDeletePoster please just give him a 2nd chance but just knw that u did nothin wrong. Just forgive him and work on your marriage
ReplyDeleteThat your husband na serial cheat. God will fight the battle for you.
ReplyDeleteDarling, some men would cheat even if you are perfect... Imagine the gall... What happened to communication? I really admire your maturity at the restaurant... I would have turned agbero for a minute... I really think your man is too comfortable... He knows you are so peaceloving and so he thinks you can take shit. I am an introvert too but my hubby knows I'm like a mad woman when need be so I think he fears that side of me... Imagine, even when he saw you , he even sat back and enjoyed the rest of his meal?? The fuck??? I'm soooooo mad right now... Anyways, search your mind, if there's still love for him, go back but lay down stiff rules,sister... It's either he follows them or you bounce... If he truly loves you though, he'll move heaven n earth to please u. Pls stop being so independent, ask for some money from time to time, cling and be needy sometimes but let him know by your attitue that you can live fine without him... The Lord will heal your marriage and make that man come to his senses and appreciate the jewel he has in you. Shallom,sister ...
ReplyDeleteSorry dear for what you are passing through. As a christian you have to forgive him. As painful as it is. Please give him another chance and work on some of the issues he raised.
ReplyDeleteMen will say anything just to get you back. A lot of them cheat. I think it's our society that influences them. I still can't forget the BV who sent in a narrative about seeing a used black condom in her house, only for her husband to see it, he screamed, ran and poured anointing oil on it. To have a man who doesn't cheat, it only takes the grace of God. Please forgive him.
Your action is great. I'm happy you did that, to teach him a lesson. I pray he changes and bring back the happiness and joy you guys once shared.
Wat do men want self? Wen u are dependant they will complain..... wen you are independent they will still complain fa..... o wa ga bayii o
ReplyDeleteChoi! I have to commend your ability to maintain your dignity. If I was able to keep calm at the restaurant, I probably would have been home waiting for him with a big stick!
ReplyDeleteHi Poster, your hubby has told you the issues, if you are still interested, would advise you guys work on it by seeking for counsels from those you both respect.
ReplyDeleteAlso abeg go for every test imaginable to avoid stories that touch.
The Lord is ya strength
You should stay in London for some months more and then forgive him and come back home. Make sure you collect money for everything you need from him and save your money dear
ReplyDeleteonly looking for an excuse where there's none. Before you accept him back, take him to a hospital for test (HIV/STd).
ReplyDeleteTot it was only women suffering from Low self esteem...Your husband needs to work on himself and understand that you are his wife....He should celebrate you and not be intimidated by you character and achievements.
ReplyDeleteReally love how u handled urself
ReplyDeleteMen will always look 4 excuse 2 giv,dis is marriage nd its 4 better or 4 worst,and I must say dt dis is ntin compare 2 wat some other women re facing or av faced nd still make it tru,not 4getin dt we re diff nd diff stress limits...giv him anoda chance pls.
ReplyDeleteMust we always forgive men,wn they mess up? Had it bn u,who walked in,with a man on ur anniversary and ur hubby saw u,u probably wouldn't be here writing chronicles.
ReplyDeleteWe women,lower our standards and cheapen ourselves just,because we don't wanna be termed failures in our marriages.
What to do? Do not leave ur life,job because u wanna satisfy ur man. See wt u got by moving back. If u were probably not working and were dependent on him,I'm sure that would have been his excuse. Now,its u don't let him take charge,u are too independent...... Se oro niyen?
My darling,if he wants to continue with the marriage,let him move back to the Uk with u.
Do not compromise,if u do u might hate yourself for it.
The basis for forgiveness is him moving back
Hang in there hun,its gon be alright.
Cheers!
Mobee
Whao. Things are happening. Thanks for being a strong woman. Pls forgive him and don't allow his actions cause u to hold unto unforgiveness However, in my own opinion, since he has said u don't depend on him for anything, i'd advice that u let him be a 'husband'. It's easy for independent women to keep doing things on their own even when married but a man needs to feel needed. I hope u get it. Pls forgive him and come back home. Then sit down and have a heart to heart discussion to see d root of the problems.
ReplyDeleteThe man goofed BIG time but we all goof and God forgives us so pls, my sister, forgive him. Once u're back home, save ur money and let him take care of u and the home. I pray d Lord will bless ur home with wonderful kids and give u both wisdom to keep d home a happy and safe haven for y'all.
Sorry for d epistle. God bless u and help u make d right decisions. E-hugs, sis
Proverbs 20:6 (ESV) | In Context | Whole Chapter
ReplyDeleteMany a man proclaims his own steadfast love,
but a faithful man who can find?
My dear, 4give him if your heart is willing.
That, I say is a mature and reasonable way for you to have acted. You know your hubby better than anyone, there are some details you know that we don't about him, use it to deduce if he's worth the second time, if he's worth it, be smart about it so you don't get shattered when he pulls another stunt. Pray over it as well, commit it into God's hand before going back in, pray for him as well, pray for your marriage and never stop praying.*wink*
ReplyDeleteI Rest My Case.
When you are needy...you are too needy.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are independent, you are too independent.
He is just blaming you for his inadequacies. He said that because he couldn't find any fault in you.
Nne, forgive ooo. Go back to him but with a changed mentality.
Cook and clean but not always, put your foot down sometimes.
Whether you like it or not , there are men that likes drama. Drama brings makeup sex, makeup sex spices that boredom in Marriage. Does your man like lil drama, give it to him.
Were you being too nice because you were scared he will cheat?
Osokwa gi gburu ikpere na ala nye ya nri,it can't stop him.
He is your husband, learn to be a tax collector. Even if you have enough, collect and save for your unborn children.
Note that it is not your fault that he cheated. All the best Ma'am.
XOXO MYSTERY
I love your reaction and I also Love "I am a praying woman" Please forgive him and take him back straight away, don't let the devil steal what belongs to u. After all God is a God of many chances and forgives all the stupid and most disdain things we do. So I don't know why we find it difficult to forgive and to think we are made in God's image. TAKE HIM BACK AND DON'T LET THE DEVIL CREEP INTO UR HOME/MARRIAGE. Some peeps will say Divorce him, divorce is fact but there is a higher truth FORGIVENESS. Rely on The Holy Spirit and I know He won't mislead u.
ReplyDeleteThe man you call your husband is a liar , which kain independent , he is just looking for excuse , he is a born womanizer it's in their DNA , the babes are tripping him.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all know that even if you are not independent he will still chase women , then also know that distance is not to your advantage , though if you decide to gum bodi he would still cheat .
Please don't tell him how much you earn or how good business is , you will never get anything from his sorry ass ------- na all those girls ehim go dey show for , so down play your wealth .
Finally know that after unna settle he will be all loving and still cheat on you , so be guarded .
Well my dear for 1st anniversary I wish you all the best, in fact the way you dealth with him is the best but ooooooo don't take off too often , after sometime he will even play you @ your game and be happy you are out of the way , so settle down with him.
Sweetheart, if its me, I will do same. So u did nothing wrong. Let God fix it for u ok. Its my birthday, I don't wonna cry. My story is for another day.
ReplyDeleteHaba, where is safe again. Babe I like your courage, I wish I can learn from you. I think he felt remorseful because of how you treated the issue. My mind is telling me that you earn more respect now than before. Please forgive him ok, but let him be the one to come and meet you not you coming to meet him here. Forgive my sister.
ReplyDeleteHaba, where is safe again. Babe I like your courage, I wish I can learn from you. I think he felt remorseful because of how you treated the issue. My mind is telling me that you earn more respect now than before. Please forgive him ok, but let him be the one to come and meet you not you coming to meet him here. Forgive my sister.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, don't leave your once lovely wedded man.. he is just young in marriage and may probably feel he is still single..
ReplyDeleteSince he stated why he did what he did(which we know might not be a genuine excuse),, please lessen up a little, you are a strong woman, the Lord will fix your home.
Even while you are being independent try and still give him the authority as the man(oldschool tyt,, that is how our mothers did theirs). You said u don't ask him for money because u have urs, start asking him so at least he will feel superior a little..
Cool off for a while in UK and return home to ur husband but you must give him a stern warning and condition... God bless your home.
I'LL WAIT FOR THE COMMENTS AS WELL!!
ReplyDeleteMadam i'm sorry for your hurt.
ReplyDeleteBut i do think you have a major portion of the blame.
You are married and you still lived your life like a single lady.i suppose you dont even insist on spending time together each time he says he has to work.
Women should stop this independent shii.how would your husband have q job as a doctor and you dont make him take care of his responsibilities.....i'm sorry but you indulged him.''i guess he just had to find somthing to do with his money''.
No matter how much you make,still learn to ask your husbands money for even the littelest of things as make your hair.
Give him another chance and this time act the african wife pls.
Ed dreams, that is not a nice thing to say.
ReplyDeleteJust reading comments
ReplyDeletekai !!!!madam you are a woman! a strong one at that! this is one of the pros of having your own money! the decision lies best with you but he should stop with the excuses already.he did not call or come home cuz he thought you will go home and kill yourself over him..follow your heart but be wise..
ReplyDeleteAnd that begets the question.what do men really want? can they ever be contented?
Poster being good doesn't pay always.don't just let him stay comfortable .join team snoop,let him do his laundry also you're not his slave.. spend His money when u come back .make him rest less.
ReplyDelete@the Poster. Your husband is a typical Nigerian man that thinks he can treat his woman like crap and get away with it. He knew what he was doing, he just thought you were stupid enough to stay with him. Packing your things and leaving was the best move ever!!!!! If you decide to go back to him, I can ASSURE YOU that he will never try it again. Best of luck to you dear.
ReplyDeleteI dont just know what is wrong with nigeria men,they got an indipendent woman and they cant keep her...stupid bunch of fools.
ReplyDeletePlease be hard on him when u give him a second chance since he dont appreciate your good behaviour and his friends also,they might be the reason behind his bad behaviour ....show him shege!!!
You can decide to forgive him and give him another chance but make sure that you tax him for everything. If he says he doesn't have money for food, make sure he doesn't see food when he gets home. I have come to realise that men don't like good girls. From henceforth, treat him the way he deserves-let him foot all ur bills while u save ur money. Let me see where the rascal will see all that free money to spend on random ladies. Though in my own case, I packed my stuff and left the idiot after two months of marriage because in his case, he even started insulting me after being caught in the act. When I walked out, he started crying and called all his kinsmen to beg me, even his Igwe. I simply told them that I don't go back to my vomit. Afterall, the idiot no fine sef not to talk of im penis wey be like noodles mtcheww!
ReplyDeleteIf she is independent, Men will complain. .. if she's not they will still complain!!!! MEN, what do you want oooo!!!
ReplyDeleteCurse you? God forbid i cuss a good woman like you.
ReplyDeleteSis,you have every right to be angry,infact i permit you to be.
This man is still your hubby and you must forgive him
But you have to do small shakara,make him beg until all the saliva in his mouth drys off. Yes. you are a beautiful woman and no man has the right to make you go through such humiliation.
Forgive him,be strong and be very careful.
The guy even beg what about the ones that cheat and still expect u to beg . Take him back a beg cos he's remorseful.
ReplyDelete@Ed dreams please ask yourself if that comment makes sense to you....
ReplyDeleteIf you have nothing sensible to say....just don't say anything.
poster, it is well. Its really disheartening, but God will fix it. Cheating is something I can't stand, can I forgive? Yes! Will I go back to a cheat, I don't think so. Different strokes for different folks, do what makes you happy luv.
---Pesticide
Go back, sit him down. Have a one on one talk wit him. Fix it. Be more involved with his life
ReplyDeleteI believe in prayers.
God has got your back.
Babe
Your husband was dead wrong!!!
ReplyDeleteThank God you handled yourself well....
And thank God you had somewhere to zap to so he knows you won't take rubbish...
It was quite immature of him not to discuss any issues he might had instead of resorting to such rubbish ....
But now, he know!!! He knows he has lost a treasure and needs to work hard to get it back...
And I have to tell you, he will!!! You are quite truthful in stating the things he said you did wrong, and IMO, they are valid..
Your man needs attention, love and validation...in fact, you should still be in the honeymoon phase of the marriage where you are still very starry-eyed for each other ...
So madam, return to your home and build it up...
Communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!!
Find time to talk severally during the day, even if it's to call and say ' just checking on you, have you eaten?'
I'm 9 years married and still do this with hubby who is a very very busy medical doctor..
Independence is all good and fine, but you have to know where to draw the line. what was your plan for upkeep when the little angels start coming? You'll take are of them too? Or do you think a man that wasn't used to dropping money at the end of each month will suddenly be able to shoulder such responsibility?
Pls get money for the home and personal upkeep!!!! If you have too much money, start buying property for your children or keep it in safe deposit. Spend your husband's money, he is the provider, let him feel like a man!!!
Lastly, pray together!!! You will enjoy your home moving forward. God will definitely restore that first love.
Eka what does" oshisco"mean plzzz?
ReplyDeleteI wish you married a God fearing man like yourself ...you won't be going through all these..your are sooo much better!
ReplyDeleteIf it was me ,no way but I'm not married so I can't understand
Hope God sees you through
Tfe
i agree with blackberry. don't stop being independent but let him take care of finances and running the home. The Lord is your strength, please don't throw your marriage away. But let him suffer small ehn
ReplyDelete