Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives..

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned....

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

CONFUSING SITUATION

Hi Stella,

I’m totally confused right now. I’m a girl of 26 years. There’s a guy that I have been dating for 10 years. He was 17 when we started dating and now, he’s 27. We’ve really come a long way. And our love is new every morning. He’s so sweet that I couldn’t ask for more. He’s my prince charming; my guardian angel; the love of my life; my joy and my strength. His powerful words have always been my motivation throughout my trying times. 

During our undergraduate education, he pushed me to make a Second Class Upper while he had a First Class in Computer Science at a federal university. He’s very principled and disciplined, so, we both agreed to ‘no-sex’ vow. (But we usually kiss sometimes sha. Lol!)

Stellz, everything changed suddenly when this guy travelled abroad. He went for his Master’s and PhD on a scholarship. He was a born again Christian when he was in Naija but now he sounds agnostic. The first time, I noticed this was two years ago when I called him, so, we could pray only for him to complain that he has to study. It continued like that. When he came home, I quizzed him about his belief in Christ and he gave me a shocker when he said he is no longer a Christian but still believes in God. He said religions are man-made. And no single religion is superior to the other as they are all products of cultures. He went further to prove it with sociology and mathematical logic. I was dumbfounded. 

I reported him to his Dad, his uncles, our pastor (because we attend the same church), and all our friends. The irony was that he never got angry that I reported but instead stuck to his guns. I threatened breakup (I was actually pretending. I can’t live without him.) And he cried. The first time I saw him kneel and cry for me. I was ashamed of what I caused. He said he just wanted to be himself that he has been living in another person’s shadow all his lives. He promised to grant me my religious freedom when we get married.

My fear is I’m too old to start again. Should I wait for him to evolve again? Because, this is nothing but an evolution of the mind. I know a few guys that are interested in me. He is the only one I have been with all my life. He already has a job with Google waiting for him and he wants to bring me to the US after our wedding next year. Should I accept his proposal? Stellz, I need your red ink. Please, don’t sell popcorn or read comments on my case. And BV’s, please, I need your honest opinions and don’t curse me. Thanks.

From a very confused sister.

My dear i dont know what to say,A man who used to be wayward finding Christ is beautiful but a man who had Christ,dropping his Faith and finding the world is bad news.he is saying now he will let you have your way?My dear the only way to find out is to marry him but Please put Marriage on hold and study the situation very well.Do not over look the signs and marry because you want to go over to America.

Have you asked him what happened to bring him to the present state of mind he is in?

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

THREATS FROM AN EX

Hello Stella,

Thank you for making this medium available. This is what is happening

to me and i need your advice.

I am a man in my mid 30's and a businessman in one of the south

western states of nigeria.

About a decade ago, I met a lady when i was working in a new

generation bank, she was a student back then in her 2nd year. Life was

good back then and we agreed to start a relationship. I can speak for

myself, i was 100percent faithful to my woman, i believed one woman

has enough baggage, why complicate matters for yourself by playing the

field? I gave her everything she desired...EVERYTHING she asked for.

Three years into our relationship, I asked her to marry me and she

agreed, two weeks later, i lost my job. After that, it seemed like bad

luck trailed everything i did, there was a terrible deadlock and i ran

helter-skelter looking for solutions, financial and spiritual. It was

the test of my life because nothing worked for years. My girlfriend

started to act up and nagged me vehemently, i understood. I kept

promising and re-assuring her of better days ahead etc etc. All the

businesses i tried failed woefully, spiritual consultations and

prayers were null and void. Honestly, i felt like giving up many times

and just dying.

One day i found messages on her phone, while trying to use her credit

to make a call. She was seeing another man and they were far gone.

They were having sex and he was giving her cash gifts. She told him

she was single and available. I wept for the 1st time in my life. 

When i confronted her, she said i found what i was looking for and that the

money she gave me every time didnt come from her meagre salary, so i

should 'go figure'. I didnt say a word out of pain, but i asked her if

she didnt feel comfortable with the relationship, she should have

left. She laughed in my face, grabbed her phone and left the house. A

few days later, she broke up with me citing that 'age was catching up

with her and she needed to get married'. 

Honestly, i let her go without saying a word. Months following were like hell on earth, but i survived. My ego was crushed, Stella. I couldnt figure out where i

went wrong, but i guess it is the way of the world.

Two years ago, i met with an old coursemate, whose uncle is a governor. One thing led to another and i got a contract to supply office materials to the government secretariat. I made N18million from that deal. Some months later, 

i was told to supply building materials along side one company, i made 5 times the previous amount. 

I wanted to find a woman and settle down but my pastor said it wasnt time and

she put me through a lot of fasting and prayers.

Last year january, i was driving home from my shop when i saw my ex at

the bus stop trying to board a cab. I offererd her a lift, one thing to

another and i discovered she had married that man but had gotten a

divorce. They had no children between them. She apologised for what

she did and told me she needed a job. Stella, i wont lie to you, we

started having sex again, even more than we did back in the day. But

anytime we did, the hurt always came back. 

Because i bottle up a lot of emotions and show little, i didnt leave any hints. Then around july, i met another lady, i love and cherish her. Maybe because we met at a neutral place and she didnt know i had anything when she agreed

to get lunch with me. I didnt take her home or give her a dime till

around december. I prefered going to her place and forming 'jobless'

and 'carless' and was surprised when she said agreed to go out with

me.

I asked her to marry me this year and she agreed. I havent been

happier. Now, my ex is spewing fire and brimstone after i told her am

getting married. She is threatening to ruin me etc etc. I, on the

other hand, though am playing it cool, am very disturbed. I told my

pastor about her and she said my ex cant do anything, that she is

reaping what she sowed. 

I didnt promise my ex marriage, and i dont believe she deserves the right to know about my private life, since she lost that privilege years ago.

Few weeks ago, i started receiving anonymous threats via text

messages. Stella, should i get the police involved or should i keep

playing it cool?

If anything happens to my fiancee, i will not be able to play it cool

anymore, i will hold my ex responsible and i swear i will kill her

myself. But i pray it doesnt get to that. What did she expect? That i

would marry her after she left me in the cold? Money comes and goes,

like the chinese say, and i think any woman that chooses a partner

solely based on financial security is bereft of wisdom. Please what do

i do?

I need YOUR advice.

Thank you for this opportunity. 

Does she know where you live?

I am sure you let her know and see that things are now well for you as a means of revenge?You should never have taken off your pants again Mr and you should have stopped the minute you met someone else but i guess out of revenge or out of wanting to eat your cake and have it,you continued sleeping with her.

Have you heard of the phrase ''Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?''

....

Look for a way to pacify her,and if it doesnt work,get the Police involved.....or maybe you should pretend that you are broke again.