Three Chronicles need you attention...
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
GOOD GIRLS GETTING HURT BAD GIRLS GETTING LOVE
Stella, I'm writing this message in tears. why am I not always lucky when it comes to relationship?. I give my all, I'm always there for them, I don't ask for money, I'm a good girl etc and I abstain from premartial Sex.
I lost my virginity to my ex when other guys left me cos of that. I thought that was the best way to keep a guy then, I was in the university then, It was horrible, I never enjoyed it. Sex is just overrated. After dat, we had Sex like twice during the relationship cos I didn't want to lose him.
He eventually left. After our breakup, I decided to abstain for Sex. I have been single for almost 3 years now, but I'm not lucky when it comes to relationship. Last year, I decided to open my heart again but I'm always getting hurt. Is it a crime to be a good girl. The guys will always say, you are a good girl, I have never seen anyone like you and so on. But why me. They say they can't date without Sex and I don't want it.
I guess good girls are not appreciated anymore in this world. I'm tired, I just want to turn to a bad girl, don't fall in love, break guys heart and risk all.
Stella and BV's please advice me, should I turn this attitude off. I know it has some consequences but am ready to risk it.
why do good girls get hurt the most and all the bad ones are getting married every weekend. I'm frustrated. I'm giving up .
stay true to yourself and trust me true love will find you....however the reality which is not good is that those who explore are faced with plenty options.I have just told you how it is #IDontMinceWords.
........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
STAYING IN TOUCH WITH THE EX'S FAMILY
Good Day Stella.
Am sending this chronicles in squeal to a former Chronicles sent earlier which I won't like to refer to so as not to raise dust to past issues but I have a little the problem ... I and my Ex broke up after 4 years 8 months of dating through a mutual agreement, during the course of that relationship the family were really nice to me from the parents to siblings to family friends and associates so nice that I can say it the best in law anybody can ever ask for but there is a gap in communication since the breakup but I truly want to keep in touch with them because I have grown to love them... is it okay to reach out to them often ?
Can I also mention that there is no bad blood when we spoke after the break up and I don't sense any ill blood with me and them?
Thanks
Please use very RED pen o
If its comfortable for you and them and no tensed air,then please go ahead and keep in touch.
.......................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
PUSHED TO THE WALL,PUSHED OUT
Dear Stella.
I cannot pour out more accolades than most u have heard already but I want to thank you for this chronicles platform. It has given a lot of us sense lol. Seriously speaking, thank you.
My name is Cynthia. I was only just recently separated from my husband...... chronicles for another day. I thought it was going to be for ever but sometimes life deals you a different hand. We have 4 very young kids, btw the ages of two and 7. The marriage broke down irreconcilable and it's at this point I am now.
My husband threw me and the kids out of his house out of anger. He has a very hot temper. And I suffered physical and emotional abuse.
He refused to let me get a job after we got married cos he didn't want me to be independent of him. And a part also would I say was caused be inferiority complex on his part cos am quite beautiful, smart and very very ambitious.
I cannot tell you I am perfect, cos no body is but I tried to be the best mother and wife to him and our kids. Back to d story..... I was lucky to get a job that came with a furnished small house and a small car. God was faithful.
Right now I am confused, my salary is just enough to put my kids in school and eat d basic things, no luxuries which we have been managing by His grace. My husband has refused to ask about the kids,their fees, health, upkeep or anything.
I've called and texted, I've spoken to his people and the pastors, he has refused to budge. He sees it as a way to punish me so that when the responsibilities hook me for neck I'd come back begging and I've said to myself I cannot go back to that marriage cos I'd die of suicide and depression or maybe even abuse. It's a long story I'd send it some day...
I don't want anything from him other than to take care of d kids n foot their bills even just their fees but he's adamant out of spite to let us all suffer or so he wishes. I have tried to keep it cordial for d sake of d kids, I do not want it to get messy and bitter but he's drawing my strings. He's very comfortable and has no financial need but has refused to cater for the kids cos they are with me of which he threw us out o. He didn't expect me to bounce up and survive, he was expecting after some weeks I'd come and beg and massage his ego as usual but I had had it up to here. Not any more.
Now I need him to do what's right by the kids, we were married in every aspect. I don't want to have to sue him and bring court n police into dis matter but as he is not playing ball and I am still struggling to give them at least a decent life and the basic things. It's not easy and it's going to get even more expensive. My kids are a blessing to me and I do not regret for one second but how can I make him take up responsibility for them. .....
Kindly post this Stella. I hope to get some advice from people that have been in my shoes or general advice. I'd be reading all the comments. Your red ink would also be appreciated Stella. Thanks and God bless you.
I am sorry i cannot give sound and solid advice because i have never been in this situation before,let me step backwards and let the wise ones advise you.
Just negodu
ReplyDeletePoster 3: I have been there and seen many cases. File for divorce. The court will compel him to take up his responsibility. Left to his conscience, he never will. Do not go back. He will kill you. Mark my words
DeleteI have come to realize that when women send chronicles and say 'i am not perfect' they are indirectly saying they cheated.
DeletePoster 3, if you did not cheat on your husband for him to have sent you out and you are at peace with your family, you would not be sending this kind of chronicles when you have a family and your husband has family members.
Poster 3...question what caused the divorce. .bcos of its cheating and the man has solid envidence plus cash he can take the kids from you if you go to court. My advise is tlk to his close friends for help, that will bruise his ego to make him seat up or involve family
DeleteSecond anonymous
DeletePray not to meet VINDICTIVE people
They can cut their own nose to spite their face
Reading comments.
ReplyDeleteBrb.
******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS******
Poster3, re u divorce officially? If yes plss take legal actions, or just manage it like that.
DeletePoster2, if u re ok with it go ahead, its a matter of choice, some myopic guys will think u re looking for a way to come bck, or keep ur distance and only keep in touch when d need arise.
Poster1, calm down, God isn't sleeping, keep on believing and go closer to him in prayer dear, it shall end in praise.
Summary of stella's advice fantabulous
DeleteP1: "stay true to yourself and trust me true love will find you....however the reality which is not good is that those who explore are faced with plenty options.I have just told you how it is"
P2:If its comfortable for you and them and no tensed air,then please go ahead and keep in touch.
P3:"I am sorry i cannot give sound and solid advice because i have never been in this situation before,let me step backwards and let the wise ones advise you."
Not end time chro chro advice. Well done Mrs korks.
Poster 1
DeleteFace GOD completely without option
Throw away the key after yoking yourself to HIM.
Don't be double minded for the Bible says such a person cannot receive from GOD.
Face GOD and HE will face you!
By the way "seem" to be getting away with a bi and getting the best but GOD'S word says "whatever a man sows he will reap" and " as hand goes in hand THE WICKED will not go unpunished!
Chronicles, don land oh, finally.... please I hope it would make more sense than that yesterday's own oh. Now let's read and give reasonable advise.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Don't ask for money o. Stay there...Ishie.
ReplyDeleteAbeg when is it right to ask a new boo for money? Nigga is busy talking luv buh my mind on money, barely a month relationship n he's inviting over n i want money first, btw no sex yet.
DeleteLol...Ask him for money for transport na. Is that a big deal? Haba
DeleteTo all the nice girls...pick up the book..why men love bitches and read..
ReplyDeleteWhere can the book be gotten? I'd love a copy
DeletePoster one, goodluck being a bad girl, bad girls also get hurt too..so try it, but be ready to fuck scarra.
ReplyDeleteCOME LADIES LET US REASON TOGETHER:
ReplyDeleteNARRATIVE 1:
WHO opens legs for sex?
Who get's pregnant?
Who bears the guilt of abortion (the man shares in the consequences though; see Proverbs 6:16) and cries every second/everyday?
Who is heartbroken and shattered and confused?
Who has insecurity and low self esteem?
Who is seen as the whore?
Who has suicidal thoughts (yes you murdered a human being or more see Gen. 9:6)?
Who sulks even a decade after the man has moved on, married and had kids?
Who is dumped?
On and on and on.
LADIES, WHY NOT CLOSE THIS HOLE CALLED VAGINA UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED? THE TEST THAT A MAN "LOVES YOU" IS THAT HE IS ABLE TO RESPECT YOUR BODY TILL HE PAYS YOUR BRIDE PRICE.
When the man finishes with you he moves on to the next "gullible victim"
Leave such men who are only interested in you body (no; just interested in your vagina and breasts) alone and face your life and make it right with God and do not kill kids etc.
Jesus says; "whoever comes to me I will not cast away". Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
No matter how many times u post this, girls will always be girls, and pussies will constantly be flogged, it'd even get worse now that the economy is going down the drain, girls will do the unimaginable, so 4get this ur preaching...... You think they've not heard such b4?
DeleteMschew
DeleteGod bless you anon 15:04.
DeleteJesus is Lord.
A word is enough for the wise.
DeleteToo many words are not enough for the foolish.
The wise will hear!
Look at the world and truthfully say if our " human wisdom or sense " has been better than GOD'S?
Terrible marriages, messed up adults, confused children, bitter , depressed, angry, suicidal, poor self esteem can be traced back to a decision someone years back took that we in one way or the other are reaping today!
Are you smarter than your maker?
Do you think you can outsmart the devil without GOD'S help?
Poster two, it seems u r still hung onto ur ex. They've prolly forgotten about u. Go n get another bf n be nice to d family.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, your husband has refused to take responsibility of both your kids school fees and you're here crying with your furnished house and car?
ReplyDeleteOkay don't pay for them till your husband has a change of heart inugo.
Poster 1 whether you decided to be good or bad o na you sabi.
You think not sleeping around with men makes a good girl?
Well I have bad news for you, it doesn't.
Have the right attitude to life and love yourself, then see men chase you.
No be person wey fuck pass be baddo.
Even virgins are sinners if they back bite and go against God's commandments.
Poster 2 na you sabi.
Do what you want.
U want her to sell the car and furnitures in the house to pay the school fees ni?? Abi u no see say na company get am
DeleteJesus take control.
ReplyDeletePoster 3 my heart went out to u...well mostly cos ur writing is flawless(joke). Pls stop begging him, thank God U have a job and can settle a few bills. Stead of begging him, beg ur fam / friends to support u. When he sees that u no send am he will readjust. Even tho u r not begging to go back, begging for child support still massages his ego. Get on by urself, u will be amazed how GOD will take care of u and d kids.
DeleteRemember u r still married ooo, no extramarital affair cos once u stop begging him he will accuse u of having a man. Make sure his accusation doesn't stick. My prayers r with u.x
Poster 2
DeleteFace GOD and lock up sexually.
Face your children, if you have to change school and lifestyle do it. Give the best you can afford and if true leave a man whose conscience is dead for GOD to judge.
I smile because I have seen GOD handle such people and the people they were seemingly dealing with after years of GOD'S mercy actually turn out better than them.
Forget man
Take it one day at a time
Face GOD
PSALM 121
@poster 3,I don't know why most men behave dis way,after separation they bluntly refuse to train their own blood!My ex is also from Anambra onitsha,he left me wt 5kids and remarried almost immediately,d lady also started bearg kids knowg his background..(Women sha).fastforward to 3yrs...he has refused to pay a dime for any of his kids.Schl fees, welfare,house rent,bills is all on me...no support from anybody.He moved to another state, so it's a little hard to track him down...all his pple turned der backs on me as their bro has remarried.(Old wife....go,new wife enter...lol...dat's some husband family 4 u)..anyway,...I have moved on 4 good..I hv peace of mind...God has been good.Trust me, he will never bring out his money to give u....he wants u to suffer&beg him...I know men like dat..just like ma ex-husband.So d best thing is court,which am workg on...stop begging,textg or callg anyone,I tried all dos,some men are natural animals.Pray God to give u success&take him to welfare chikena....u will get over it....but I will also add,if it's sometg u can still work on since he's still single,if u want d marriage,u both can still make it work.Goodluck
DeletePoster 3, I will advise that you lodge a compliant with the office of the Public Defender near Stadium or Women Layer aid who will give the free legal service. The first can compel him to take up his responsibilities or sue him on your behalf and the second option can do likewise and even get you more relief. No emotions here. He has never responsibility to the kids. If he threatens you, they will get the law against him.
DeleteStella no advice? Well, it's good he sent u away before domestic violence join.. Take him to court so ur kids can be catered for else u r on a loooooong thing.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!!!!oriegwu
ReplyDeletePoster one I am just like you but I told myself that this year things must change. Like my friend said to me "the girl is good will get you nowhere". All those girls that we term as runs girls are actually the ones that get married quick, get good husbands and have men wrapped around their fingers like sellotape. I've told myself, this year, no more the girl is good. When you have A, always have B, C & D cos men do so. Enough of heartbreak. It's time to break hearts lol
ReplyDeleteAnother Ime mkpuke loading. Ashiii
DeleteBut you've never been a good gal na.... Our definition of "Good" differs.
DeleteNa you talk like this, be ready to have another one.
DeleteSo you were a "good girl" and still ended up as a baby mama?
DeleteKwakwakwakwa you are a joker, gwegs like u
Trinity lol, dey will impregnate n dump u again.
DeleteSo you were a "good girl"? How come you are a baby mama?
DeleteOh please y'all should shut up already! So becos she is a baby mama y'all feel u are better than her. Continue with ur abortions. She has someone to come back to whereas y'all are lonely women. I hate it when women bring each other down. Bunch of morons!
DeleteWell all I can say is that being a good girl,staying off premarital sex and living a righteous life doesn't guarantee earthly thing,like money,husband,friends etc it gives you things that this world can never never produce
DeleteJust imagine God appears to everyone and shows each one of us our riches in his glory I know so many people will begin to live a righteous life
Poster one just give it up to God, if you want to be a be a Good person, do it for the lord not for any man...
Hahahahhaa anony 17:51 u have finished me! Okwa no ime mkpuke Lmao
DeleteAnons are harsh kwa. Haba. Trinity, don't mind them o. Live your life
DeleteNow I know who u are dumb fuck trinity u this to run a short devil.
DeleteBut u don't me u don't visit blogs u see your life.
Poster 1 kudos o
ReplyDeleteU haven't met d right person via if u have Ull not see it as a Big deal. Making love is mutual where there are no insecurities from both angles.
P3
You will find help soon. Cater for dem. do not crawl to his doors begging for help. Uv done the needful
Poster 1 there re good guys out there who do abstain till they re married, I can attest to that, u just haven't met the good ones, don't give up, urs is on the way
ReplyDeletePoster 2 since u have broke up with the guy biko allow them be, unless u wanna go bk.
Poster 3 the only solution here is taking him to court so he owns up to his responsibilities, u have tried other means it didn't work, then sue him, except u wanna go bk to the marriage.
@Poster 1, you're yet to meet your man, that's why all these are happening, just be patient and be very prayerful, your own man will locate you. You don't need to change from being good to bad, just be yourself.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, to me there's nothing bad in keeping in touch with you ex family, I broke up with my ex over 3yrs ago and I still communicate with some of his family, I love his family to bone.
@Poster 3, I think it's high time to charge him to court, but I guess the court here is not being fair enough, they demand for less fees for the child's upkeep, I heard like #5,000/month, don't know how authentic but that's what I heard. Better still, seek advice from lawyers.
*Larry was here*
Hmmm..... Patch it Father.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: In the world we are today men don't want to hear that u r a virgin or u r celibate.Being celibate could be worse cos they'd think u r just being selfish and don't want to share.Most of us who say I don't ask for anything na them ask pass.Well,kindly note that being a bad girl n risking it all will come bk to u.But wait oo being a bad girl and breaking their heart won't u be having sex with them? Na u go just lose.
ReplyDeletePoster 3: If u can go and see him cos I don't get this kind of he is angry and what not.Most men don't joke with their kids even if they want to kill their wives.If he wants u to be dependent on his money ok oo but fo it from a distance.The idea of seeing him is to lay d terms down for him make u no go kee urself mbok.Who raised all these scorpions sef?
Poster one, your life shouldn't revolve around me, love yourself some more honey and pick a struggle. God be with you.
ReplyDeletePoster two, as much as its possible, live at peace with all men, just be cordial but stay on your lane.
Poster three, just put it all to God in prayers, He alone won't abandon you even if all others will. It is well with you dear
Poster one, your life shouldn't revolve around men, love yourself some more honey and pick a struggle. God be with you.
ReplyDeletePoster two, as much as its possible, live at peace with all men, just be cordial but stay on your lane.
Poster three, just put it all to God in prayers, He alone won't abandon you even if all others will. It is well with you dear
Poster 1..ehya. Person wey get head no get cap. I have not been a good girl, I have straffed and did "runs", infact I used to have sex just because I felt like... I never even considered abstaining cos I always felt abstaining is for virgins(at least dem never chop am before).
ReplyDeleteUntil late last year, I met a very spiritual guy, who has all I wanted and doesn't want sex. Nigga would have a solid erection when we hug and as a bad girl I will slowly gyrate my waist when we are hugging and I will feel the rod hit my thigh hard. But to do, na wahala, e no go even gree unbutton shirt if it's hot when he comes visiting, sweating profusely under o.
Babes, moral of my epistle is that life is funny. Pray for luck and favor. As for me, na my mama prayer dey work for me.
Waste of erection. Spirikoko erection
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteYour life your wahala...
Warrever mehn!...
Poster 2,
Leave that family and move on!...
Since you have broken up with their son,it's of no use mingling with them...
It's like you want to turn to the guy's monitoring spirit...abeg respect your self!...
Poster 3,
Your only option is taking him to court OR you go to any of these cele churches make dem knack pigeon for his head...
You need to teach him a small lesson mehn!...
Knack pigeon ke?! Lmfao omg I can't!
DeleteKnack pigeon, lol
DeleteWait o
I hope you are joking right?
Poster 1:
ReplyDeleteIf ladies will learn! Giving a boy your vagina will not make him love you or respect you. Being what you call "a bad girl" will not give you peace of mind. Only Jesus will; if you will honor him with your body and soul.
POSTER 2: DO
POSTER 3: Come down from that high horse and teach your kids to live lower than they used to; face realities. Withdraw them from those exorbitant schools and put them in low cost schools. You might have attended public school yourself. Leave the man and face your kids and it is time to have faith in God. Above all, do not become promiscuous.
Your advise to poster 3 is the best
DeleteHmmmmm wetin person no go c for ds life?
ReplyDeleteBrb
Poster three fashola provided an agency to go report men like your husband. They will help you sue for child support for free. I don't remember what the agency is called. Your husband dsnt know those kids will grow up one day and he will grow old one day and they won't even look for him or want him near them when he comes to look for them. Useless men everywhere
ReplyDeletePoster two leave your ex's family abeg. What's your own?! If you see them greet them. But don't go seeking them out
Go to the.Mediation center at Motorways by 7up toll gate. Thank me later
Delete@1, u a mumu, no wonder men use and dump ur fat body, how can a guy be nacking u and u will not ask for money, u think being a good girl will make dem live u,are u sure u are not dirty, I mean smelly armpit & pussy,am sure u are very fat & sluggish, plz work on yourself.
ReplyDelete@2,u want to keep I touch with ur ex family, plz how is dis a chronicle/our business, if u love his family dat much y did u break up with him, does he still keep in touch with ur family, u no get work, Na ideal mind & loveless life Na dey worry u cos, if u are in a sweet relationship I don't think you will still be thinking of ur ex and his family.
@3, ur husband is a useless man, arrest him asap, and divorce properly if u ve not done dat then look for a rich sugar daddy to assist u.
Hehehe
DeleteI hail Una oooh
Poster 1, so because other girls knack more often than you. that's what made them bad. U are all sinners where it is 3times or 20times. U get get HIV from your first attempt. So just stfu about your good girl charade.
ReplyDeleteI have a fiance who is nice, caring, and all..but he is not fine. Should I break up with him?
ReplyDeleteI have always dated fine boys and I kinda see the reaction on my friend's face when they meet. It's like they are disappointed...
He is a good man. What will I do?
Are you kidding me? Who does fine boys these days?I don't think you are ready to date him...When he begins to get close to any of your female friends now,you would start hating.
DeleteYou better don't mind those your friends..That was how one of my friends told me then that my fiance isn't that handsome and that me am a fine girl, I didn't talk, fast forward to later, when I saw her husband, I shock..very ugly man..Now that my not very fine fiance is now my
Deletehusband.. everybody is envying me now..who fine don help..Better hold him tight
Can u give him a deep passionate kiss in the morning? If yes, fuck ur friends opinion.
DeleteYou are not okay at all... are you dating him to show off to your stupid fake friends?
DeleteA fine well well come marry me only if u get money oo.
DeleteThank you.
Pls drop his number.
DeleteWho fine boy don help??
DeleteWaiting for comments *sips zobo*
ReplyDeletePoster 1,dnt ever look down on urseLf,keep ur body for ur hubby,he will find u soon
ReplyDeletePoster 2, if u wont get hurt at d end,no problem
Poster 3, y nt go to him,atleast u both need to talk
Poster 1, continue being a good gal, love will find you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I see nothing wrong in keeping in touch since there wasn't a fall out.
Poster 3, its high time you involve both families and if nothing comes out of it, take it to court then.
@poster 3, Why can you not take him to court, Child support is not for you as Judge Judy will always say, it is for the maintenance of your kids. Stop thinking about pride, what people will say or whatever and take his arse to court, Kids were not asked to be born into this world, they need basic maintenance. You dont even have to beg him, just go to court and do the needful.... Nigerian women are our own worse enemies o. You both had kids, he should step up and take responsibility. If you never have to speak to him again, Good, just make sure he pays for his kids. They are both your responsibilities. Leave sentiments aside jaare.
ReplyDelete@poster one;love doesn't hurt,loving the wrong individual does..
ReplyDeleteYou are A good girl;dont settle below that standard;cos you dont know what the "Bad girls" are going through emotionally and health wise..
Life is A teacher and most times it dishes you the wrong people so you can live,learn,build up yourself and also get more wiser so as to be A better person and understand the reality about life..
Love will surely locate you dear..just hold on,remain good and dont just give up..
#cheers
@MARTINS ABOY
I always look forward to your comments Martins Aboy. U really inspire me. Jst so u knw, keep it up.
DeletePoster 2. Jst like martins said, life is a teacher. U experience various things in life nt becos life is unfair but it builds u, makes u stronger and a better person.
Not every challenge is to destroy you but to bring out the best in you.
And also at this point where u think you can't tk it anymore, ur breakthrough is jst at the edge of it. So please don't loose out of it. Trust in God and it will end in praise.
I always look forward to your comments Martins Aboy. U really inspire me. Jst so u knw, keep it up.
DeletePoster 2. Jst like martins said, life is a teacher. U experience various things in life nt becos life is unfair but it builds u, makes u stronger and a better person.
Not every challenge is to destroy you but to bring out the best in you.
And also at this point where u think you can't tk it anymore, ur breakthrough is jst at the edge of it. So please don't loose out of it. Trust in God and it will end in praise.
POSTER 1 AND 3:
ReplyDeleteFOR POSTER ONE, PREMARITAL SEX DAMAGES SELF ESTEEM; especially when you are rejected eventually which is invariable.
FOR POSTER 3, YOU ALREADY CONFESSED THAT YOUR SELF ESTEEM IS LOW; DUE TO BEING REJECTED. LET ME SHARE WITH You both how I overcame mine;
I think your problem is "self-esteem issues". How did I know? I used to have same. There was a mix of timidity added to mine; I couldn't talk to two folks together; I'd just start sweating and stuttering. It was so bad. it cost me friends; both males and females. But today, I can talk to a conference of people in the course of my work and take questions etc. How did it happen? I began to read the gospels! Sounds foolish;sure? I thought as much and told the friend who suggested it same. He asked me to take the challenge and report back to him in "two months time". It's been years and counting and I am just fine. I regained some of my friends from of old. They could not believe it's me. You know the good thing; I can even browse through the gospels right on my phone; that's my breakfast while in the one hour bus ride going to work! And when I drive, I listen to the audio.
@poster1 : I feel your pain.
DeleteDon't worry, your own man will come
Poster 1. Be true to yoursel, love yourself, if you have a job face your job/ career. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, trust in God, HE has great plans for you but don't stop being a good girl.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. If it suits you keep the communication going but why are you disturbing yourself self?
Poster 3. Sorry about your separation but better separated than being dead or suffer depression because of a spouse. Thank God you at least have a small job and a roof over your head. It is possible you change your children's schools to a more affordable one? Trust me there are some married ones that you as a single parent is better off than. If your husband is not willing to cooperate allow him be GOD may touch his heart but don't get messy for the sake of your kids. I wish you well.
Bella D Chemist
Network is so messed up 2day... Is it the countries economic situation dats affecting it already?? No strenght to type & watch it all didappear b4 my eyes, lemme read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 3: Seek Mediation; Family Law Center or go to court. Thats d best since u ve tried ur best ways. Even d courts wud seek ADR first. So don't feel like u r looking for trouble.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile in every contexts, I wud always say "u cannot force or compel him/her...".
It's going to be tougher xcept u get a benefactor (somtyms it may involve u dating him), if not, suffer d suffer, find alternative incomes, ur kids shall neva forget u.
Poster 3: d Lord is ur strength. Hand it all over to d Lord only him can fix d broken fragments of ur life. Believ me even if u involve d police u will end up spending more to fight d case n it might still nt make ur HORSEband responsible to ur kids. It will end up being a case of u can force a horse to d stream but u cant force him to drink. Its a pity u ended up wt such a mean man(am very sure u saw d signs bfr marrying d Hediot). Anyways i admire ur strength. Just take one day @ a time, d Lord will make provision for u always.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you are jobless.
ReplyDeletePoster 3,are you tired of being a strong independent woman?
Pray this doesn't become your story. Insensitive twat
DeletePoster 2: u no get wahala @ all just fire down.
ReplyDelete@ poster 3...You better go and reconcile with your Husband before another woman moves in. 4kids without a Man is not a joke, they are not yet in secondary school.. Think twice and tolerate his bs. I'm a mother so I know what I'm saying.
DeleteAnd you didn't read the physical abuse part or the her husband threw her out part?
DeleteP3,pls make sure he pays child support.its his responsibility,not a choice.
It's a must.
Courts can help you.
No other way will make him reason(as you wrote).
Goodluck all the way.
Anon 17:35 tolerate his domestic violence? And u r a woman? Hahahahaha, u r just a foolish person
DeletePoter1: No1/Nothing shud stop u from being a Good girl. Meanwhile being a good girl doesn't mean u shud not get xposed or enjoy Life!
ReplyDeleteKeep ur self ooooo
Don't change! A guy who loves u for real, even doh he may love to ve sex daily, he'd understand.
First find a good reason for keeping ursef tight. Don't keep ursef bcos u dont want to be hurt. Keep ursef first bcos dts God's command. Most religions I know see fornication as sin. Wats moral is moral. Immoral is immoral even wen legalized.
U r lucky u r a lady, if u become a wise wife, u wud satisfy ur husband.
Poster 2n feel free to communicate with them.
ReplyDeleteYou need to see what the mum and siblings of my sisters ex did on her wedding day. My sister was just crying. They brought souvenirs,food and drinks.
Poster 1 &2 please follow Stella's advice,its a good one...poster 1 stay true to urself ooooo,biko..
ReplyDeleteposter 3 Don't involve the police nd court yet please o,have u talked to both parents, his nd yours???? Have his siblings (if he has any) come take his children to him,atleast he would see them without u being there nd understand what his missing... Above all ask God to give u the strength to do better jus in case it doesn't come through.. its well
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteEnough with the tale about good girls getting hurt and bad girls winning..
Bad girls get hurt too
Bad girls loose too
Good girls win too
Get your mentality right please..
If you want great suitors, position yourself well and meet the right people. Play your part well. Be the kind of person you would like to date
And please don't be a broke ass looking for a good man who is hard working..
The reason you think bad girls are winning is because they have placed their selves in strategic places, some of them have good jobs as long side whatever they do on the side so men don't see them as liabilities..
Good girls who have things going on for them and place their selves in strategic places get the best men..
Poster 1 am equally facing wat u are facing ryt now, but Av just decided to close my legs, pray had to God and focus with my work. Just believe that true love will knock at ur door sooner than later. It's well . Just keep the Faith
ReplyDeleteEverybody will come here and form good girl. Even the ones that look like Botched plastic surgery gone wrong will be looking for Trey songs kinda handsome
Delete@Quiksilver I speak directly from my heart, I don't seek for attention from non entity's like u
Delete. I only trust my GOD and He will show me mercy at the ryt time
Poster 2:
ReplyDeleteU sed no skinpains, no bad blood, mmeans u kip in touch wit d ex.m if it's ok by ut ex to maintain prev level of rshp wit d family, all good.
By now, u shud know if u r stil welcomed in dia hearts.
I just hope u ain't a skimmer n have future plans.
Please don't get too familiar n den fall in love wit anoda family member oo weda it works out or not. Ur Ex holds d key to ur ish. If no bad blood, u guys shud stil be familiar (family) friends.
Madam am so sorry for the trauma and agony you are going through
ReplyDeletePls cast all to God in prayers...ask him for the ability to withstand the situation that you're into now
Just look upon the widows around you, I believe you can learn one or two lesson(s) from them.
You can do this. Ignore your husband and continue the fight for the good wellfare of your kids
The lord will see you through
Let me.just read comments
ReplyDeleteChronicles makes me sad
Women dey suffer
Man sef
@Galore
@stella must u be in this situation to offer advice?! Sometimes ur words pop out without u thinking first .
ReplyDeleteEMI O LEE SANWO OKOO OOOOOO.....I WONT N CANT BE PAYING A MAN TO GET FUCKED OR BOOST "LOW SELF ESTEEM COZ SOME WOMEN R LIKE THAT......
ReplyDeleteWHEN I WAS YOUNGER....IN LOVE, HUMBLE N READY FOR A COMPANION...TOWARDS A FAMILY...
I BOUGHT MY EX.....A LEXUS 250 IN CHITOWN....
LET HIM READ THIS N DENY IT.......COZ I LOVED HIM N THOT HE DID TOO...REALIZED HE WAS FUCKING MY COWORKER........IT HURT.........HE MADE ME WISE UP.....MO YARA MI NI BRAIN.....
AT46.....I WONT SPEND MINI ME'S MONEY OR MINES ON A MAN WHO AINT READY TO MARRY ME OR HAVE A FUTURE WITH ME .......
YES IF "SARA" COMMOT FACE I WILL GIVE NOT BORROW ....BUT GIVE WHAT I HAVE....
......BUT SOME WOMEN PAY MEN FOR THEIR DICK N COMPANIONSHIP........IF ONLY SUCH MEN R HUMBLE N APPRECIATE IT..........SUCH WOMEN OVER LOOKING D FACT THAT ITS TEMPORARY HAPPINESS....U PAY TO BE WITH MEN WHO R MARRIED N STILL FUCK OTHER FEMALES TIGHT UNDER UR NOSE.......U KNOW THEY DO
WHEN SUCH MEN LEAVE. UR SORRY, LOW SELF ESTEEM......COMPANIONSHIP SEEKING ASS ON D CURB......U CRY FOUL.....AM YARNING FEMALE DIASPORAS ESPECIALLY.
MOST OF U LOTS DONT EVEN HAVE UR OWN HOMES IN NAIJA....U STAY IN HOTELS OR COMFORTABLE FRIENDS CRIB. MONEY U USE TO BUY A DICK OR NUMEROUS DICKS CAN MAKE U COMFFY IN NAIJA WHEN U VISIT. AS FOR RICH NAIJA WOMEN WHO MAKE SUCH MEN THEY R NOT MARRIED TOO RICH......NA UR WAY.....E NSANWO OKO NONI.
JUST AS UR PAYING FOR SUCH DICK.....ANOTHER FEMALE IS TAKING THE MONEY FROM HIM......"OLEE GBE E.....OLEE GBAAAA"
SUCH WOMEN HAVE TURNED SUCH MEN INTO...."OLEE, ALAPA MA SHISHEE". TURNING ABLED BODY MEN TO LAZY BONES.....BUT THEN.....FUCKING SUCH WOMEN IS A J.O.B ON ITS OWN.....THE FUCK MAY BE GOOD TO U.....BUT WHERE IS UR FUTURE WIITH HIM
NA YA MONEY......YA PUSSY.......JUST NO CRY WHEN UR DUMPED WITH UR MONEY LIKE A TRASH BAG.....
DETOLA ADUKE.......MY WALL.....MY THOTS....
NO BE MAN SUPPOSE SANWO.."OWO IBASORO NI?"
RADARADA...
o boiiii dis yur write up ehhhh I no even know if I understand it or not
DeleteWhat is this one shouting for? Cos I didn't read to the end
DeleteChop kiss. You are the truth! ..mi o le f'Owo r'epon ooo
DeleteChop kiss. You are the truth! ..mi o le f'Owo r'epon ooo
DeleteU bought a car for a man? Hian!!!
DeletePoster 1. Do not change from who God has made you to be, God has a good plan for you and true love will surely find you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. I see nothing wrong you keeping in touch,as long it's not for a selfish interest.
Post 3. Why not pretend you never married before and take care of your kids if you can and forget about that man, your children will make you proud tomorrow but do not feed them with bad stories against their dad, by themselves as they grow they will get to know the truth, I know it can't be easy but surely God will see you through dear
It is well
ReplyDelete#1...I've realised that d so-called good girls,wen u r datin dem u'l realise they have some very bad attitudes outsiders don't see..don't think it's cos of sex dey r leaving,it cld be ur general attitude
ReplyDelete#2..I had a very good relationship wit my ex's family n she was very close to mine too...@ a point I was closer to er mum dan mine.we ate in d same plate on several occassions.d babe sef dey jealous atimes...initially,I used to call d woman like once in 2 weeks after I broke up wit d babe..now na only on her bday I dey call. Move on my dear,u no need any yeye closeness wit d ex's family.u can just be checkin on d ones u r close to once in a while
Poster 1: choosing to abstain from sex and everything you described is normal, not anything out of the ordinary..you don't have any problems. Focus on your life, stop looking for men. As you grow, you will meet better men.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: why is it so compulsory to keep in touch with your ex's parents? When you get into another relationship now, you will start sending another chronicle. Can't you just stay focused on your life, look forward to keeping intouch with your future hubbys parents, not SOME ex
Poster 3: If you truly want the best for your kids, you will sue that man immediately..there's no reason to give him a pass for how he treated you. Please take action, if the roles were reversed, he won't even send you...best of luck to you
N3, involve d welfare if u are sure he is d one that threw u n ur kids out. N if he still refuses to bulge, then go ahead, adopt ur children and change dia names to urs, so that he won't come tomorrow to claim them. Goodluck. Some men c be so stupid atimes.
ReplyDeleteGo to welfare or wRAPA,they will ensure he pays
DeleteEnter your reply... Pls take ds advise. I wrote an epistle nd it disappeared.
DeletePoster 1: com get a hug from shady *e-hugs* dnt allow circumstances redefine who u r.
ReplyDeleteKeep being ursef
Work @ being a beta person sef. Read good books lyk 'Secrets of an irresistible woman'.
Read ur bible especially d good women lyk Esther, Ruth etc and ask d Lord to give u d godly virtues dey possessed.
Wen next u fall in love, dnt giv ur all. Infact dnt give 20% till u r sure d guy in question is given abt 65% already. Also, if u can dnt put all ur eggs in one basket.
Dnt give into sex cos u wanna keep a guy. Those who left cos u dint give into sex are @ a loss not u afterall sex comes wt a lots of wahala- stds, unwanted preganacy etc. Keep ur body for d one who deserves u.
Good girls still abound n dey still end up wt good guys. Be positive minded n tell ursef u dnt only wanna b wt a good guy but wt someone who wud worship d ground u walk on. U r wot u think so think right.
R/ship isnt all about sex, if d guy isnt making impact in ur life positively, kindly move on.
All d best
ciao.
Irony of life. I am tong tied.
ReplyDeleteposter1 it is well wit you..poster 3 God will punish him.haba nau dey r his kids.kp prayn the God u serve will nvr liv you to sufer
ReplyDelete*spits out weed*
ReplyDeletePoster 3, sue his ass!!! I don't like divorce but sometimes women are faced with really difficult options
Poster 1, pray. Many out there are suffering like you. One day, God will send the right guy to you. Many of the available guys are bad too that's y they keep demanding for sex. Wipe your tears. Don't be depressed. Have faith and tell yourself that God has answered your prayers
Narrative no2, if you arr okay with it and its not a problem on the other side....feel free to visit them once in a while or call....i also have inlaws like that....theyve alwayz got my back anytime any day.
ReplyDeleteYea... only good girls get the short end of the stick. Ugly but true.
ReplyDeleteLol. D small D u mean?
DeletePoster3, Madam, take him to court or d agency responsible in handling such matters. Get him to be responsible , let him know that things av changed in d country. If you are in Lagos, you are luckier. Do not lick his ass. I know his type.
ReplyDeleteNarrative no3, your husband is so mean. There is no way you wont take the matter to court.....cos he just has to take care of the kids as well. God will help you
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you better remain celibate... you have peace of mind at least.. don't let any silly guy come and complicate ur life.. Love will find you when it will. Poster 2, keep in touch with them for what exactly? If they keep in touch with you will they die? You have time sha.. Poster 3, you married a heartless beast, how can a man neglect his kids?? God will take care of you and the kids.. can't say much
ReplyDeleteThis life sha. And the three serious relationships i have ever been in were very sexual right from the first day. That is apart from the flings o. The three of them are asking me to marry them now. Current boo inclusive. Like it is a competition sef. I broke up with the first two cos i got bored. God help me ooo,before i enter one chance. Im staying off sex to seek God's face. God help you all with your problems.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.... May be your spirit husband no want you to have good relationship with good guys. Sorry... Pray to God to help you. Your good man will come to you. Just close your legs and ask God to be there for you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2... since you are ok with them. keep the communication up or hope another thing no follow them.
Poster 3... Take your husband to court. Na anambra men they behave like that. I dont want my wife to work bla bla bla. He must take care of the children by fire by force. Useless man
p1, stay good because of ur mind and decision , not because of any man,,,, if u turn bad or good ,u alone will reap it. it is not for the present but the future.
ReplyDeletep2, u can stay in touch if ur ex is ok with it. beacuse if not, he might think u r friendly so as to trick ur way into dating him back...
p3, am short of words, even if he is wicked that shouldnt b to his kids...... u for don make agreement during the separation ish with his family involved so as to takai of the kids. threaten him that u wana dump d kids with him , n see him reaction or file a lawsuit against him. irresponsible man...........or double ur hustle to ... this is y i personally can neva v more than2 kids, that i know i can takia by meself because shit fit happen, men are dubious......
Thank u, 2 kids and no more.. the lesser the kids, the better.. Poster 3, women I know in such situation look for helpers/ sponsors. Take it from me, that man is mean, I used to know someone like that, he doesn't take care of the kids, formalize ur divorce and look for love again.. my 2 cents
DeleteTo poster 1,keeping your cookie to yourself n expecting to keep a man in this century, when you are not a virgin is mission impossible. I will advise you start enjoying sex, and give to a man, when he prooves he deserves it. good luck
ReplyDeleteNot true
DeleteThat it's impossible
Lies actually
@ poster 3..please don't deprived the kids of a good home. Go back to your husband, 4children is a lot
ReplyDeleteNa your type de die for husband house because u feel there's no HOPE
DeleteMSHW
All this sex,relationship and boyfriend...I was jst fucking any how without strings attached, I buy condom nd kip in my bag,my friends were teasing nd calling me spoilt girl, only for me to jam my DH and we started dating after 3 yrs we are married, guess what those my friends who won't buy condom and keep all had abortions, I am nt trying to judge any1, bt if u wanna have sex use protection and know that you are having sexx either for fun or coz ur body needs it.
ReplyDeleteYes dear...if u want to be good be very good or if u want to be bad be the baddest...in sex love and relationship moderation kills....when girls start seeing sex as what is meant for 'two' to enjoy heartbreak will reduce....so if u r to fuvk him do it knowing you also enjoy it and let him realize he isn't using you but both of you are' using urselves'..Lol nice talk once again
DeleteTo the 3rd chronicle. Madam it's a pity your so called husband threw you and the kids out of your home. However, he needs take responsibility of his children, via child support or whatever. But first and foremost, you need be 100% certain to yourself that he is the biological father to those kids, cause if it gets messy, there will be a call for DNA testing. You can start from going to see his parent's, his dad, tell them to speak to their son, talk to his close friend's, the ones he respects, write him a humble letter, apologising even if you were not wrong! Let him know you can't do it alone. If all avenue fails, then you can sue him for child/children support. keep up with the dialogue....
ReplyDeleteC.F.I
DNA bawo!!! she didn't mention anything about paternity dispute na!
DeleteNarrative number 4, i can simply tell you to ignore him but i know is not easy.in my own case, i've been divorced with a lovely son who is 2+ now, i left him when my son was 5months(reason chronicles for another day shaa) do you know he never care to contribute to our sons upkeep till now. Even his sch fees this term is yet to be paid and i don't know how i am going to pay that but calling him is the last thing on my mind. so my dear try as much as you can and ignore him cos those children are your pride tomorrow
ReplyDeleteABEG WHERE US NARRATIVE NO 4??
DeleteM still refreshing for it to load?
ChaIiiiiii abeg where u see narrative #4
DeletePoster 3, try nd register ur kids into schools that are affordable so dt u can be able to have enough money for upkeep.
ReplyDeletePoster3,beg him if u have to, let go of your pride for your children's sake
ReplyDeletePoster 3- Simple sue him for child support.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- Move on from the family, anticipate and pray for a better inlaw and husband. Stop giving attention to the past, your best is yet to come. But you have to let go. My opinion.
@Poster 1, I will advice you to be yourself,and have confidence. True Love will surely locate you some day and please don't give any man sex bcos you want him to stay, do it bcos you want to. Most importantly learn to be happy without a man, enjoy life and get yourself busy I tell you God will surely bring the right man your way.
ReplyDeletePoster one self pity will not help you. All this talk about bad girls and good girls does not mean anything. Life is all about chances, good or bad . Gods grace is on everyone. Some people will get things easy and some people will not. Try and try until you it right. Any man that will not appreciate you is not worh your time. Thank God it ended and move on. At the right time the right person will locate. Meanwhile enjoy being single, go out with friends. Hang out and enjoy life. Being single is not a disease. Better be with the right man that appreciates you than wth some that has no regard for you.
ReplyDeletePoster 3 I commend you for coming out of a marriage filled with domestic violence.
ReplyDeleteI commend you for trying to make ends meet for you and your kids
Do not go back to him or send those kids back to him because it is clear he is the sort that will abuse till death .
My opinion is leave him to God and seek funds from other places. What you need now is money to raise the kids. He is evil and wickedness personified . He will never give you a penny as long as you are independent of him.
DO NOT I repeat DO NOT go back to him or send your kids to him for anything because he is the sort that will lock them up and abuse them to punish you the mother.
Do you have church members that can help? What are your banking details or email address?
To poster 3, the only way you can get him to do what is right by the children is to involve the Social welfare. In order not to be seen as a bad person, you can ask your family to call his for a meeting and tell them what you intend to do if your ex continues to shirk his responsibilities.I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteposter 1: U don't always have to be a good girl to please any man.live ur life well,try to keep urself busy and beautiful.All d friends I had that would do all kinds of 'positioning' for dudes to love n marry dem are still single n seriously searching.Save urself d stress n try to make urself happy joor.The right dude will come.
ReplyDeletelast poster: God is ur strength.someone I use to know took her husband to welfare,I dnt know how she did it but they helped her to get a certain percentage of her husband's monthly salary.BVs that know how it works can help plz,4 kids aint joke.
U can also try to visit d company where he works to report d matter maybe they'ld help.I've heard about that too.
DopeMum.
Narrative 1: keep forming good girl. Be bad sometimes. Hehehehe. Don't worry, love will come.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: if u are ok with it and they are too, then by all means, pls do.
Narrative 3: madam, since he doesn't want to help, do it urself. Yes, it won't be easy but train your kids urself and always remind them that daddy never cared. Yes, I said so. Put them in a government school, teach them during weekends if u are free, and be there 4 them. When he sees that u r not even asking him for anything, he'll become worried and sit up. If he doesn't, leave them
Poster 1 & 2, Stella don advise you. Poster 3, I feel your husband won't take up responsibility unless you go the legal way and take him to court but I'd advise that you first go to the closest social welfare office to you and explain, they could help you compel him to do the right thing and also assist you with legal proceedings if necessary. Apart from that, my dear cast all your cares upon God, there is nothing he cannot do. I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteStella, correct your heading. It's 'three chronicles need your attention' and not you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWhere d comments at?????
ReplyDeleteWhen people begin to understand the sacredness and sanctity of marriage then alot of problems like this would be solved. Pride, Ego, unforgiveness, malice etc has done more harm to the institution called marriage.
ReplyDeleteDear poster the only advice i have for you is first and formost to sincerely seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing (Love, joy, peace, happy home, loving husband, unity, growth you name it) would be added to you. Women were never created to be equal with men. The world standard will never change the standard of God (hard truth).
Stupid truth u mean. I feel for your family as they are the ones to suffer your ancient way of thinking. Sure God wants us to be married but not at the cost of your sanity. Some men are very wicked likewise some women. Dear poster I understand your situation as I have a sister currently going through the same thing. If he has ever hit u physically then he is not a man. Call his family again and ask them to intervene. And pray for your kids. Especially the male kids and please do not curse them
Delete@Poster3:Give him some more time, he will come around. And pray also if you believe in prayer.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Listen to me! All of these men are not right for you. There is nothing wrong with you they are just not deserving. I also lost my virginity because I was trying to please someone else and I've done the same in other relationships but they always ended poorly. The best sex I've had was when I decided for myself to do it. you have made a decision so stand by it girl! I wish I had your will power.
ReplyDeleteI met this guy last year who was a top guy at an international investment bank and again I buckled under the pressure when I knew I didn't want it. It was awful. He now met another girl I knew the next day and said he was going to marry her cos she is a virgin. My dear there is no pleasing anybody but yourself.
My current boyfriend accepts that I am tired of having sex with people until I am ready. He is waiting for me and I can't believe how much he loves me. He knows about my past and still makes me feel like I am perfect. I am saying all this because I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to wait to have sex. If anyone makes you feel like that you don't want them! Trust me. Think of it as a deeper divergence in your philosophies on life. If he cannot treat your body the way you want how will he cater to your spiritual and other needs?
Stay strong girl!
All 3 posters una doh o! No comment.
ReplyDeleteIs it that the only problems facing us is love issues? So the only chronicles in this life is boyfriend this husband that. Please people that have REAL issues send in your chronicles, health job housing etc.
My comment is loading..............
ReplyDeletePoster one, Please don't make that mistake of turning to a bad girl oh! people have walked on this same path even worst but ask, it was never easy. So many regret it till today.
ReplyDeleteLove will find you I promise.... Or maybe just try it out once then you can make your final decision. You won't be able to live with your conscience when you finally find true love because your conscience will start to taut you over what you did in the past.
My dear pray about your life, get a decent job, put on a positive attitude and see God doing wonders in your life.
Poster 3 there is more to your story. You don't wanna share but you Need advice . Its well Oo
ReplyDeletePoster2 if it's comfortable by you its no big deal only if they don't want you or accept your friendship
Poster1 don't turn to a bad girl. Your man will come at the right time.
Poster 2. Lady please record your phone conversations with him refusing to take care of the kids. In the future, it's his type that will come back and claim am their father with stories that are not true. Do your best like you are doing, keep asking him for assistance and keep phone records/mails. This is 2016, time we stop letting me get away with crap like this
ReplyDeleteI really hope with the number of chronicles we get everyday, we the special advisers won't run out of what to advise you guys.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, please sue your husband asap bec he will only spend his money on women and later in the future claim father's glory. Then, your kids will be saying mummy forgive him. You will just be the looser. Please sue him for child support biko.
Better stay exploring before you turn old being a good gal
ReplyDeleteHah! Madam Stella...where are all the comments nau? Still waiting to read them.
ReplyDelete@poster 1
ReplyDeleteMen don't deserve good girls,they deserve bitches!Try being a bad bitch...who knows?If you want to learn how to be a bitch,read this book tittled "why men marry bitches".Goodluck honey!
@poster 2
Must you dwell in the past?Why are you still keeping in touch with his family?Maybe you haven't moved on.Na u sabi!
@poster 3
I have never been in ur situation but I know someone who is.
Since you've seperated from your husband for good;
1.Stop reporting him to his family or pastor,it will make him feel too important.Just pretend to be a widow(he's as good as dead).
2.Cut your coat according to your cloth.
3.Tell your children the truth about their father,so that he won't come back in future when they've made it and take all the glory.Be strong and pray.
Poster 3 : listen to this woman's advice!!!!
DeleteThank u. Forget about him and move on and yes, tell your kids.
DeleteI wonder what people define as a good gal...u might have done all that but being good is relative.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there are some other qualities that u possess that drive them away or u just have a knack 4 dating unserious people. There are alot of good men like myself out there *side eyes 2 those that will raise nose*, u just have to know how to find them frm those that arnt serious. More so, good is diff frm serious.
Advice is in future, dont date whoever u cant marry.
I raised my noise well well 4 u o o
DeletePoster 3,I think suing him will have to be the best option here. If he cannot listen to his parents and pastor(s),I think you should bring in the court option.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,pele o,that is life for you. Hold on though,coz you will smile soon,and be glad you waited this long.
Poster 1, you just haven't met the right person. If all the guys who keep coming to you keep demanding for sex, then they are not ideal for a good girl like you. The right person will respect your body, value you and choose to wait until marriage. The right person will love God and appreciate you for who you are. Don't give up yet. Yo have to be PATIENT. Stop saying you are not lucky with relationships because what you say will come to pass. You are blessed, you are a treasure and it is only a matter of time before the right man finds you. In the meantime, keep striving to be a better person according to God's standards.
ReplyDeleteWhy I'm so touched by my daughter
Narrative 1:just be you and don't let anyone make you go bad... build your career and focus on the things you love doing, pray hard for the kind of Man you wish to be with. Everything will fall in place darling, been through this journey but differently and the truth is no man on earth has power over my mindset so if he's not staying then he ain't the one. Keep strong and don't rush the next one. Wish I could say more...
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: Do whatever makes you comfortable. I'm not enemy with my ex or his family, neither am I close to them but hey we are good from afar. It's ok that way, don't go reminding them of the unnecessary with your presence in their lives...
Narrative 3: Involve elders from your family madam and let them have meeting with his family and if that won't work, involve the necessary agents. Training 4 kids ain't beans.
Poster 1, I just want to add that being a good girl isn't enough. Being God's girl is.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, find a good lawyer, take him to court.
ReplyDeleteSeriously some married couples need to be sent from Nigeria to Biertan village.
ReplyDeletePoster 3 the best way to get him to take up responsibility for his kids is to sue him, since he's financially stable.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, madam, when you are serious with your husband's issue you let us know. For now you are still okay. You dont want to sue him, you dobt want to marry hin again. Why dont you go ahead and file for divorce and get the child support you so crave for? Unless you secretly want him to take you back and continue from where you stopped. If not, so long as your salary can pay their school fees and put food on their table, forget about luxury. It is not going out of fashion anytime soon. When you are ready, do the needful. For now, you sound alright.
ReplyDeleteHey lady number two, what miraculous answer are you hoping for? Get yourself a lawyer well versed in divorce and family law. I can hook you up if need be.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 3: Pushed to the wall and pushed out. Why are you crying over spilled milk? God has been good to you so accept your fate and move on. I have been in your shoes and it happened 20 years ago so I know what I am talking about. Ignore the animal, zero your mind that you are all those lovely children have and watch God J
ReplyDeleteIn action. Until you put him in that state of ignore, you won't have your peace. I remember my children's bursar in university asking me if I won't survive if their father was dead? If widows with lower income than I had were not taking care of their children? How I cried that day! That question drummed reality back to my brain! Asking for stuff from him will be inviting him into your life again. In fact, I got a restraining order that be is not allowed around where we lived. Today, my children are all doing well and I am about to be a grandmother, all to the glory of God! He is still living a sorry ass and bitter life all about town. Sweetheart believe me, you will be OK. You don't need any negativity around your children. He would demand for them spending holidays with him when he starts paying their fees and will sow all manners of evil about you into their young minds. Is that what you want? Please leave him totally abeg. That's my two cents advise.
20years ago economy is different 2016 when a pound to makes us now #395...let her go back and be forget about her pride for the children sake.
DeleteGod bless you ma.
DeletePoster 2 let his family be. They are not missing you, they will accept the next woman their son brings so keep it moving. Keep ur love for your real in laws and stop being stuck on your past. Ashewo
ReplyDeleteTell her o! Clingy ex! If u were that good,no amount of agreement woulda split u guys up. D prolly has gotten another babe while she's whining.
DeleteP1.no lady can use sex to tie down a man. If e doesn't love you then there is no way he won't still walk away. Yes,you said something about consequences n being ready to risk it, hahaha young lady be careful, life about relationships ain't as you think. Just make up your mind n stay single until true love comes knowing.
ReplyDeleteLet God help u achieve this.
*knocking *
DeleteNarrative 3,honestly you are a very brave woman and I pray help will locate you,I will advice you to involve child welfare services before he reports you ran away with his children,also please cut your cloth according to your cloth and manage what ever you are able to earn because even if he is forced to pay for up keep you will still spend more then he will give you.I pray help finds you.God bless
ReplyDeleteDoppelgänger so you know Sheisboki? So you smoke weed and cigarette too? So you do those other stuff too? Hmmm... I will send Stella your gist. Anybody that knows Sheisboki will understand where I am coming from. Stella post my comment, aren't you tired of swallowing them?
ReplyDelete"I AM THE QUEER AND BUS OF THIS BLOG";
ReplyDeleteWhich one is "knack pigeon for his head"? You are fetish? I thought it is only materialism, lesbianism, adultery, hypocrisy and bad mouth that are your problems? To know that you are also FETISH is to parade the chimps for beauty pageantry. Oh my goodness, I really empathize with your husband and kids. What a morally bereft girl you are! May the Lord have mercy on you.
You took linda's comment serious? U r not well
Delete"I AM THE QUEER AND BUS OF THIS BLOG";
ReplyDeleteWhich one is "knack pigeon for his head"? You are fetish? I thought it is only materialism, lesbianism, adultery, hypocrisy and bad mouth that are your problems? To know that you are also FETISH is to parade the chimps for beauty pageantry. Oh my goodness, I really empathize with your husband and kids. What a morally bereft girl you are! May the Lord have mercy on you.
Poster 3- The below comment nailed it on the head for me. The Lord will continue to be your strength. Do not take him to court or involve the police as he is the father of those kids. Focus on them, cut down the standard of living and try and live within the limits of what you make.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 3: Come down from that high horse and teach your kids to live lower than they used to; face realities. Withdraw them from those exorbitant schools and put them in low cost schools. You might have attended public school yourself. Leave the man and face your kids and it is time to have faith in God. Above all, do not become promiscuous.
Poster 1: I understand how u feel, buh keep on praying n ve faith ur man will locate .poster3:prayer sloves everytrhing. Thank God u ve a job dat puts food on ur table , bone dis man nd focus on ur childern give dem good traning so dat in d future dey would be proud of u.
ReplyDelete@poster3 Am sorry its has to be like this but you also have a choice,either to carry the burden alone or to carry it together, no matter the explanation you give your children in some years time after you have suffered for them T hey will look for their father.so my Advice is that you look for the ministry of social development in any state you her their is department of Social welfare services were matters like this are treated well,the man by law is mandated to pay for the Schooling,Feeding and Health needs of the children if you wish to support him it will be dicussed.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, Please go the welfare so he will forced to pay his kids fees. They are his responsibility, is their right so he should be made to take care of their needs. Please l repeat so to welfare and he will cater for his kids.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, how would you feel if you go to ur boyfriend's house and see his ex gisting with his family?
ReplyDeleteOr you are with your boyfriends mum and his ex calls her and they laugh and talk on the phone for 30mins?
Abeg, make we dey put ourselves for other peoples shoes.
Ex=ex. Concentrate on your future inlaws.
Thank you Stella for posting my story.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your advice.
Poster 1
You are welcome dear. Your story is inspiring. I made d decision to be celibate(good girl) this year, and I know it won't be easy cause I will lose alot of potential suitors, but now I don't care anymore. Il try to be strong and follow the advices given to you. You ain't alone on this. #bestrong #teamgoodgirls #celibate #nofuckingtillmarriage #teammermaid #GodhelpUs #legsTied.
DeleteAnd please follow all the advices given. Dont be a bad girl. It doesn't pay. You will feel so cheap and used at the end of the day. Your vagina will become a public place for all sorts of dicks. Gush!! I hate myself for the bad girl decisions I made. Pls babe, be strong. It won't be easy, but it's worth it. I'm with u.
DeleteLove u bae.
I have been reading this blog for the past 3 years now and this will be my first time to comment on it. I will only reply to poster 3. Your husband has a reason not to communicate with you and the kids. IT is very deep. Most people will not understand. No man will ever abandon his flesh and blood. Maybe he has checked for the paternity of the kids and found out that he is not their father. Lady or woman, you know the best answer to that. He is not crazy to abandon his kids. You sound more like a wayward woman to me. Take care of your kids and give them good home training. You and only you in this world knows what transpired in your marriage. Stop complaining and face your responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteCarles
Poster 1 ur story seems just like mine. I have already told myself love isn't meant for everyone. I dated a guy whom I gave my all I loved him with everything in me,made him knw all about me,shared all my worries with him.we were so happy till he left for d state, I was here waiting all d years for him to come back. After 3yrs he did came back but we neva saw neither did I knew he was back. Wat shocked me most was all dis while we communicated well even d week he got married to someone else we still did but I neva knew he was dating someone else all d while we were speaking he neva told me any of his intention. I was so brave to acceltwd fact dat he could do such thing. Right now I feel a great joy in me cos dis drew me so close to my bible dat I think of nothing else.
ReplyDeletePoster 3 from the way I have noticed african men love their kids, there is no smoke without fire. I guess the man has been suspecting you of infidelity hence the reason for the break up and all that. My only advice is o to court only if you are sure your husband is the father of all the kids, if there is one of the kids that is not his, don't even bother going anywhere, carry your cross ooo. Here is not America ooo, forget all these stuffs peeps here are telling you oo, the country is hard and our lawyers are damn hungry. Don't waste your time if there is any atom of story with any of the kids. Don't say we didnt tell you. You are in Nigeria oo.
ReplyDelete