Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Thursday, March 31, 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Wow..what a Chronicle!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
PRAYED FOR A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR AND GOT 
THE OPPOSITE

Dearest Stella..
I am ardent reader of your blog..infact it's part of my daily routine. .as it is..I cant stay a day without being here regardless of my busy schedule...please kindly hide my identity as I am an extremely private person...please dont forget...however I am at my wits end and decided to throw open my heartache to get some advices...


I am a 34 year old pretty smart articulate and intelligent lady, opinionated and homely..though a bit temperamental...I am what you can call any man's dream girl...I have had my fair share of good men and relationships but i kept thinking i had time until i got to 30 and realised that i had started loosing quality toasters...I was either meeting divorcees or silly play boys but of course that wasnt what I needed at my age...

I soon realised that I had lost so many opportunities. ..all my life I had always had a picture of the man I wanted to end with...a smart upwardly mobile, well read n well mannered young man of course with good looks...January this year I specifically prayed to God for a good suitor and not the kind I started meeting since I turned 30...it was so important for me to settle down this year for me as almost all my friends both at work and family were hooking up...people keep asking what exactly is wrong cos really I am such a sight (not praising myself)....


During the last week of January I was on a work trip to another state and met a guy at the airport that started chatting me up. ..I didnt even notice him initially rather was trying to get someone else's attention..lets call this guy Ken...

Ken looked to be in his 40s..had no charisma or class..obviously a trader or a contractor and not one that works...Stella in just 10 to 15mins..Ken made me feel like I had known him a long time though I still didnt have interest cos he didnt speak so good English but obviously one with a kind and sincere heart.During the talks with him,it turned out he was from a neighbouring village to mine..that made him feel more at home,when our flights was announced, .turned out we we were heading to d same direction...


Our seats was just a number away so he still found time to discuss with me on board though I was trying so hard not to let other passengers especially cool guys know I was with him.
when we landed..he not only helped with my bags but made sure he dropped me where I was headed with the cab that he got for us.After that day he would call every single day to check up..

I had my reservations cos as I said he didn't fit into my kind of man..he talks loud and always in my local language though he claims he is a graduate which I doubt..I also got to find out he was once married for 9 years with 2 kids..a boy and a girl but has been divorced for 6 years..I couldn't be bothered...

Somehow I found him to be someone I would tell how my day went n other stuffs daily when he calls....he is always busy with his contract jobs but always finds time to speak to me about everything...he visited the town where I live twice and we saw but sincerely there wasnt any feelings of intimacy so absolutely nothing happened..

he was more excited to see me again and knew I wasnt into him...just 3 weeks ago he called me late in the nite saying he just cant understand how happy he has been since we met..he says even his business has experienced a leap in bounds and how he feels our meeting wasnt ordinary..

Dear people,just last week..ken came into town and of course I went to see him and he goes down on his knees asking me to marry him with a ring in just 2 to 3 months of meeting him......I was gobsmacked and almost had a fit cos this is the only man I have known that has in this short time of knowing me be so precise as per what he wants...

I have been rude on the phone countless times to him..I have insisted I can not be intimate wit him till I am sure, he still agrees..he has asked for my parents and siblings contacts so he can talk to them...he is extremely patient and caring but my problem and concern is

 (1) his having kids from a previous marriage,
 (2) we are obviously not on the same lane as per background and outlook to life...he isnt very refined and knows nothing except his business..I was shocked recently when he asked who Banky W was..
can one really marry someone you know is on a different lane in life?.dont get me wrong,he isnt an illiterate but also not my perfect picture of what I want as per looks but he is so smitten about me and has told his friends and family members about me and they keep calling asking when they will see me...

Please what do I do?...as much as I prayed to settle down this year,it just didn't come the way I wanted..I am very particular about certain things..he eats noisly,talks noisly but possesses a heart of Gold...

I have gone thru all 3 of his phones...nothing..absolutely nothing about a female rather all to do about his business and church...

I am 34 and have no relationship except this...should I settle for this or still wait for my imaginary knight in shinning armour?please only sincere advices .I only said yes to his proposal so he dosent feel hurt but need to know what to do as he is making plans to settle down with me in 2 months from now.




The way God operates will always confuse man.you asked for what you want and God probably answered you,giving you what he knows you NEED...All what you prayed for was VANITY....what is wrong with a man having kids from a previous marriage?if you think he doesnt meet what you want then teach him,no one is too old to learn certain things.
If he eats nosily,teach him to be quiet..if he talks loudly teach him and look for way to alert him if he is too loud and you are far from him...like eye contact in a particular way.
If he doesnt know who Banky W is then tell him...tell him about Omotola and Rita Dominic and the rest of them.Tell him about APC and PDP if he doesnt know...Teach him and stop complaining....

Its not by force to marry but you are approaching the Aunty Gwegs line so make up your mind.




272 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Sister in the Lord,
      The Lord might just be using you as an instrument to upgrade/enlighten this man. Don't tamper with He's doing please.

      From all you have said, this man is yours. Sometimes life never gives us what we desire. It's only up to us to make the best out of our situations.

      Take care.

      Delete
    2. Hmmmmm.. most times things dnt come the way we want it.. poster please look into the man. Apart from the listed faults dat can obviously be changed, are there other things u find not pleasing?. Ask well abt his divorced wife and past jst to be on d safer side. Stella's advice made sense.. and also let me add.. Nothing beats a man with a Good heart.. the choice is urs still. Ur age has nothing to do with this though, so dnt let the 34 get to u.. u r nt old yet.

      Delete
    3. I'm sorry but poster you need to return back to school! At your age you don't know that there's no such thing as "stuffs"!!! It's "stuff". The word stuff stands for multiple things so adding S to make it plural is over kill and illiterate! Your oen command of English is poor! You kept using the word "obviously" like it's your middle name??? You are razz underneath all this your claim so better accept the guy cause yall on the same IQ level. Mschewww!

      Delete
    4. Reading comments........but if I were you,i would settle with him because we grow in love,with all the love and care he shows you I bet you completely fall in love with him if you put you mind to it. god always gives us what is best for us because he see what we cannot see. re branding is allowed.

      Delete
    5. Tell him about Omotola, Rita Dominic and the rest of them..habahahahahahahahahahaha Tell him about APC and PDP....hahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Stella ooooooo! I ga egbu mmadu hia! Poster pls organise a "celebrity awareness" seminar for your boo. #whatdowomenwant

      Delete
    6. My dear obviously you are also worried about the short interval::

      Let me tell you about a friend that Married at her 35th year to a man she met within 3mnts just like yours. within that same year she wedded, and had twin lovely girls, mind you this man worships the ground she walks on till today. .. she tells me daily she can never ask for a better man.. even though in this case the man is well travelled, very rich and never married before..

      Just pray to God to give you this cool peace within if he is yours. Cheers.

      Delete
    7. Ehmmm Stella, I doubt God will answer her by bringing a divorcee her way (unless his ex is late) cos that means in tge eyes of God, she will be committing adultery for the rest of her life.
      Dear Poster if you don't mind adultery for the rest of your life, pls go ahead.
      The fact that he is a divorcee is a no no for me (except his ex is late)

      Delete
    8. Accept ur MUNGO

      Delete
    9. Dear Poster, I expected some really deep things like....he is divorced becos of bla bla bla! If u still "think" he is not a graduate after 2mths of intense talking and chatting, then I don't know what u guys have been gisting about. Marriage decisions are solo decisions, becos no one will be with u when u feel embarrassed or start regretting! Ur chronicle is shallow and I think u shd study him more and make ur decision.... But whatever u do, don't ever feel desperate becos u are 34.... That's part of what gets ppl into trouble.

      Delete
    10. Aunt don't worry wait for your type okay when you get to 60 you might find him. When I met my husband, he was not what I wanted as per type, but had a beautiful heart. So what did I do, I started by changing his entire clothes cos back then he only wears brown and black. Thought him how to eat and behave in public. We've been married for 10+ yrs now and I can tell you he has changed to my type. Not all graduates no the happening things especially the book worms. So just be patient ok.

      Delete
    11. God works in mysterious ways oh, he knows who would make you happy at the end. You have dated other guys and they never stayed. Just help "tushing" him to fit ur style. Everyone learns new things with the partner or wife or husband. Improve his life and make him whole.

      Delete
  2. Madam maybe God has brought you a man. Don't write him off. We all have our "types" and in the end, we remain single cos people we see as our types are not that good for us. Step out of that lane of yours and maybe amazing things might happen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why not agree and brush him up, the main thing is that he is comfortable, caring, hardworking and most of all God fearing so my dear dont miss this opportunity.

      Delete
    2. Abeg,trinity,give me dat mic make I spark.....

      Who is Banky W got made me dropped my fone in d latrin#lol#

      Don't u tink u need go and pray again,leave d guy and go for the tiny-legs guyz that knows Banky-sex then another lady will teach him wat is right while u will be there sending us chronicle every month

      Mc pinky

      Delete
  3. Abeg follow Stella's advice, I'm too lazy to type comments these days.




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  4. is this suppose to be IHN? and it shows 3:00. or is my network?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Move away from where you are and check ur fone again..

      Mc pinky

      Delete
  5. Anty gwegs kindly wait till u r 40 then ur knighyt in shine shine armour will appear. Oriegwu.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks Stellz. Teach him want he doesn't know! Refine him.

    Moreover he is not a broke ass Nigga. HML in advance

    ReplyDelete
  7. My Bishop says if you see Mr. Left bring him to him, we will bathe him to become Mr. Right.

    My dear still go and pray, let God will be done for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Incase there is scarcity of water in the church then buy satchet water

      Mc pinky

      Delete
  8. Hmm, my sister God's ways can never be our ways.Imagine praying to God for ur knight in shinning armour, handsome,literate, well travelled, ur class etc and then ur life with him is miserable.Dont forget the beginning never justifies the end, ur local language or n u can help him to see another side of life . Hasn't seen.Just negodu u r bothered that he doesn't kn banky w and the likes Oya the one that know him and sleep in clubs who them epp? Pls bring you head down it shall be well with u.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My dear don't marry a man u are not proud of, u complain too much, if u marry him out of desperation u will either cheat on him, or divorce him in future, women like u fall easily for fine guys after marriage, Rita and Genny are still single,nobody don call police for them so chill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I support today. Madam don't settle for dos man,if not u will complain and eventually cheat. Pls leave d man alone,u will see sum1 near ur standards IJN. Don't settle,I hv an inlaws who is always complaining,she no dey gree mention imm good side. Na so so complain and it isn't good,u will kill d man's self esteem. Abeg leave him alone.

      Delete
  10. Aunty

    please if God has given you this one and hes for real, grab him.

    Is it not better to have a guy thats real to you and then polish him up the way u desire by taking your time to teach him things, than have a guy who is "ur " taste and he constantly cheats on u and doesnt love you enough!!

    My dear decide for urself!! Dont rush into marriage with him just yet but dont push him away.. tell him u need time as 2 months is still not enough time to know him and then see if you can polish him up a bit and see how u go from there..

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmmm
    Madame Stella,
    So u dey follow us call people gwegz huh?
    Issorite
    NNE I'm with Stella on this,
    Marry him and upgrade him shikena

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmn.

    I think I'll read comments...
































    ReplyDelete
  13. Lol @ he doesn't know who Banky W is. Me I don't know most of those nigerian celebrities to be honest. I only heard about them in this blog, and from my husband . Not a criteria for choosing life partner. But to be honest, uneducated men are a turn off for me, you can't make proper conversation with them without them taking it out of context, that was my ex. Good luck on this one, I'm sure you already know the answer to what you seek

    ReplyDelete
  14. Where there is true love, it overules all negative attributes because all you will keep seeing, thinking and feeling is the love that has been automatically activated in your brain, nerves, blood, soul and spirit.

    Lasweet is out

    ReplyDelete
  15. Madam, u are 34 and not 14.Time is not on your side.
    My sister graduated @ 22 and married d same year to a very rich loyal nice man.
    Now she is 28 with 3 boys.
    Stay there and keep waiting for a Tayler Perry dat don't even know u exist like Linda until you menopause catch up with you at 40

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So bcus she's 34, she should accept any Oshiomole looking guy? Allow her make a decision jo, she's old enough.

      Delete
    2. And you just had to shade linda?? Money maker why are you like this?

      Delete
    3. I'm still trying to find the relationship btwn this chronicle and your sister. Bvs please help me explain if you understand.

      Delete
    4. @ James: despite being rude in your response to the poster, you can't spell " Tyler Perry"

      Delete
  16. Who's is bankyW got me rolling on d floor .. who big grammar help as far d money is flowing in i gat no pro

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If u want a man dat know bankyW please go to d club!

      Delete
    2. Monkey no fine,u are right jare..make she go club go dind beta one or go the nearest hospital

      Mc pinky

      Delete
  17. God answered your prayers, yet u are complaining? How many of the other "refined" guys asked your hand in marriage? You better accept him before menopause comes knocking on your door

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just leave her to be choosing and complaining instead of repairing. Poster don't you know that you can refine a person? Why don't you give it a try and see if it works.

      Delete
    2. If menopause knock who go answer??

      Delete
  18. See long episode on top dis mumu chronicle.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear poster,i am in almost the same place like u,i am 25 tho.the thing is my boo may not be all I wanted but he is definitely what I need.we tend to put our mind so much in outward appearance than love n care that we need.teach him things,groom him how u want him to be.trust me you won't regret it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See correct advice from a younger girl. God bless your future home darling.

      Delete
    2. They're not all the same oh.. He's this nice cus he hasn't tasted the cookie.

      Delete
    3. not her real face ooo.tif,u wan go mail d lady..ashawo ten ten kobo

      Mc pinky

      Delete
  20. This guy adores you so it would be very easy for him to change.

    Teach him all you want him to know.

    Who knight in shinning armour epp?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So u think its just that easy huh??? My dear incase ure not jokin lemme tell u, those habits he has formed for 40yrs, where u wan start from to chNge?? She shld accept all the bells & whistle or 4get the guy entirely.

      Delete
  21. Thank you Stella, you have said my mind

    ReplyDelete
  22. Who said gwegs shouldn't have choice lol
    NNE I will not lie to you, time is not your friend any longer, biological clock too.
    You don't even have any other relationship or chyker, 1st quarter done finish o. B4 u know it na we wish you, a merry Christmas lol
    Pls decide if marriage n having kids is your priority in life.
    This man seems to care about you, and he is rich enough to take care of you. I will say give him a chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me lol!Na true 1st quarter don finish o

      Delete
  23. send me Mr. Ken number if you are not interested. See yeye girl.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My dear..If you can't stand him, forget your age and look for your perfect spec o cos u just won't be able to stand him. But if u'r the patient type, well.....all the best!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Madam,be careful,u are aging.get that into ur empty skull.u beta go for him and stop waiting for a knight or shinning armour...or u wait till u are 50years

    Mc pinky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will you shut up! Stupid he-goat.
      Did you have to insult her to get your point across? Nwokem learn some manners.

      Delete
  26. I don't even pity you. My dad is very well read,I mean well read! Accomplished,intelligent, speaks well,handsome and a don in his field but he doesnt know banky W. Just used him as an example.

    Please leave the real men to describe who their dream girl is,cuz you aren't. You are the dream girl of shallow n vain men! You dey find yuppy husband( trying not to let d cool guys around know that you were with him... Trying to gain another's attention. Person wey no send u) .Lol. Please leave that guy. Return his ring n let him go for someone who will value him. Do not "lower" your standards,else,you'd end up in a marriage so miserable and in turn hurt the man involved . please wait for your Knight in Scottish armour who fits your bill. Snd us your iv o. I'll attend with my kids in 2022.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ivory,need I type more?
      You hit it back to back. Lol

      Where is that freakin like button when you need it huh?

      Delete
    2. Abi now @iphie mami... There's nothing that puts me off than a person ( empty in this case), feeling superior to another. This lady lacks substance.

      Delete
  27. Aunty gwegs line! lmao stella!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hahaha @ Stella last comment, don't mind her she nor know say husband scares dey their they find prince charming till u turn nna ga lu lol.

    ReplyDelete
  29. First of all the wird Aunty gwez sounds derogatory to call a single lady, its just a bad word. Stella i believe you know better to call someone that. You shouldn't encourage such words. The pressure on wimen to get married is just too much, imagine someone feeling bad that she is not married at a ceratin age and comes to your blog to see you using that word to classify a woman, not good. Secondly poster, i see desperation now, which is normal considering the society we live in. Now do you want to get matried to anyman just because you have reached 34 and then 3 years down the line, you begin to regret because probably you have been worn out by trying to change a grown man to your ideal man? When you pray very hard , you know what you asked God for , sometimes the devil comes in first to deceive you and you might end up missing the one God wanted to bring. I almost settled like this because i wasn't patient enough, i thought oh this isbthe answer but eventually along the line, i got tired to correcting, teaching, the mentality was completely different , i couldn't cope. I became frustrated. Luckily it ended before it got to marriage. I am with a much better person now, infact i still have to pinch myself , sometimes the person that comes immediately is not an answer to your prayers , its the dvil wanting to distract you. As long as you don't have unrealistic expectations you will definitely meet someone as you continue to pray. Don't think of today , think of the next 20 years. Settling is the wirst thing you will do to yourself. Date him for some months more, you barely know him. Probably then you will know if he is really God sent. Its difficult to change an adult, if you must marry him them make up your mind that you will accept him the way he is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with u. So because u are 34 u will manage somebody u can't show off. If teaching and helping him change is not working.. aunty just wait. Don't be distracted. 2 months proposal sef means the guy is desperate too. Calm down abeg. 2016 just starting

      Delete
    2. Thank you! You gave the best advice ever. I am currently praying for God to settle me with a husband. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve and I am asking for.
      I pray God blesses me as he has blessed you.
      Thank you because by encouraging her, you have encourged me.

      Delete
    3. I totally agree with;Marriage should be enjoyed and not managed. If you can't honestly picture yourself with him in the next 20 years,then I ll advice not to go; because of "had I known" you are the one who has to live with him.The truth is that from everything you have said you don't wanna be with him, you probably get pissed off just being with him, being 34 is not an excuse for being with the wrong guy.

      Delete
  30. Women and little brain.
    U see person wey love you upon say u don dey old. u are still there doing shakara.
    As for me. I can never marry any girl above 24 years.
    If I no see for Nigeria. I will go outside the country.
    Any woman above 30 will always challenge her horseband for house

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shut up you f*ck boy. Your type will end up with a lady who will squeeze the hell out of your neck.
      Rich boy indeed. An anonymous, faceless, pathetic weakling for a man.
      An example is usually used in one of the figures of speech. I can't remember which but it goes like this, "God made him to be a man. So let him just pass for one". You are such a sorry excuse. Ninny!

      Delete
  31. Women and little brain.
    U see person wey love you upon say u don dey old. u are still there doing shakara.
    As for me. I can never marry any girl above 24 years.
    If I no see for Nigeria. I will go outside the country.
    Any woman above 30 will always challenge her horseband for house

    ReplyDelete
  32. @ poster please accept him. .I can relate with your post, I'm 32 and single my loneliness feels suffocating, given my age I am surrounded by married friends with children none of them is single. I have been to dates and flings none of them amounted to nothing. My friends say that I'm attractive but still I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I met a guy here after sending him €150 to get a smartphone now he's phone is just singing different nigerian song.. .I just feel sad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't ever give any money to any guy, if you meet someone on snm becareful ooo, most of them once they hear you are abroad(uk, usa) nah to begin tell you they are broke, they need money to do a project.

      Delete
    2. Why rushing at just 32? Relax my dear!

      Delete
  33. @Stella of life!!!Most times your advice makes me feel like hugging you real bad..'if you think he doesn't meet what you want then teach him,no one is too old to learn certain things.
    If he eats nosily,teach him to be quiet..if he talks loudly teach him and look for way to alert him if he is too loud and you are far from him...like eye contact in a particular way.
    If he doesnt know who Banky W is then tell him...tell him about Omotola and Rita Dominic and the rest of them.Tell him about APC and PDP if he doesnt know...Teach him'...Beautiful advice!!!!@poster,i would advice you marry the guy..

    ReplyDelete
  34. Choi @ approaching gwegs line... pls what's d gwegs age.

    ReplyDelete
  35. When a girl is in her teenage years and you tell her someone wants to marry you; she would say
    "WHO IS THE MAN"?
    In her twenties, someone wants to marry you, she will say: WHAT IS THE MAN?
    In her thirties, someone wants to marry you, she will say; WHERE IS THE MAN?

    Poster, this is where you are. It is sheer pride to think that "I am every man's dream of a girl"; wrong girl. Every person has got different needs and aspirations. It was a nice move to have called on God but a wrong move to think the way you do. You should be mindful if the man "knows Jesus" and not if "he knows Banky W". I am a professional and stay in the United States and I don't think I know this your "Banky W"; who is he or she please? Perhaps, from Stella's answers, she must be a Nollywood person seeing that Stella mentioned "Omotola". I happened to know the later because I watched Nollywood in the nineties before I left Nigeria. These days, I hardly have time to see those; except of course on Stella's blog. If your life revolves just around a particular tiny sphere in life, you are just being myopic; the world is large, round and vast.

    You need to change your values girl otherwise you will have a hectic time in marriage especially if it is to this man.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I hardly comment on posts, but this really got me. I absolutely understand the situation you're in and the truth is, it's a really dicey situation. You're at aa point where you're willing to accept just anyone even if he's not what you really want. But my dear, you need to consider certain factors, like ; can you marry a divorcee? Will you be happy after the euphoria of finally getting married must have cleared? You don't want a situation where you'll feel trapped in the marriage... my point is: the answer you seek lies with you. search your heart, if you're not at peace with the idea of marrying him, please DONT!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Some girls get concrete stuffed brains for real. So knowing Banky W is your idea of an enlightened person? Sorry. What's Banky W's educational background?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mtcheeeeeew keep waiting for your dream man. Girls eh, una wahala too much, never pleased, u always want perfect, r u perfect, pls turn him down

    ReplyDelete
  39. Nonsense who Banky W's name done help. Madam free that guy, there are so many, a lot of ladies out there that will give anything to have that man, free him, u do not love him and might not love him in future. Banky W indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hmmmmm! I can only imagine your situation. Babe you better wake up. Time is no longer on your side, the guy obviously has everything you asked from God except your so called human attributes. I once taught a boyfriend how to eat so you can gently and with humility teach him somethings. But above all, though you're 34,you have some growing up to do yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Tell him about Buhari if he doesn't know who the president is... Lol. You better leave this guy because he is not your kind of man. Don't marry out of desperation.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hmm... I wish a personal picture is always attached to the chronicles, so we see the "Beauty" they keep raving about, who beauty don help for this life sef? At the end of the day, Beauty is Bonus in a union, Yes, it might get u to where you wanna be, but securing that position is something ur peronality/attitude would do.
    Ehe, my beautiful poster, i read to understand that u prayed & ur knight showed up late with a dull coloured armour & a golden heart with baggage, it boils down to ur values and perception to what u can deal with in a marriage, most women let down their defencies from age 29, their long list of attributes narrows down with their age, till it finally becomes "well, if God says Yes he's my husband, who am i to say No" .... But in their early 20s, the list is topped with 6feet, 6packs, Large Zenith Acc, Handsome....etc, i bet ure xperiencing such declination.
    So if ur list of criteria of ur husband hasn't bent to marrying man with such excess baggage, you can damn the ticking clock & keep waiting if ur man in shinning armour will still turn up.

    ReplyDelete
  43. U just landed urself a good man who cares less abt being porsh. Pls try to see d good in him n open ur hrt towards him first n let's see if u'll fall in love with him. Cos I didn't see anywhere where u wrote u are in love with him. Wen u finally fall in love with him, u'll learn to tolerate him n teach him things u wld like him to be.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Husband with an impeccable manner for the world to see or husband with the best all-round empathy for you and your children? Choose wisely

    ReplyDelete
  45. The cane that pursued the first wife is loading. Be careful. Go start afresh with someone new.men are not what the portray when you are dating

    ReplyDelete
  46. Please poster can u introduce the man to me,at your age u r still choosing,sister please be wise,follow SDK advice and stop all these complains,d lord is ur strength.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Be there looking for Boy George.That's how you go old for your papa house.Better marry him and have peace than marry handsome guy who will turn you into a punching bag.Meanwhile, find out why he divorced his first wife ooo.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Whilst I was going through this chronicle what came to my mind were d things I saw as Stella's red pen. Mbok U love him madam but not His package. Teach Him. A man had better loved u more than U do. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Girl when you get married you will soon know that marriage is more than knowing "Banky Y". You are in the thirty's but you reason like a toddler. And to worsen it, you think you are "every man's dream girl". Oh what a pity.

    Girl, you should be concerned with realities;

    Why did this man divorce; infidelity or . . .?
    Does he care about these kids; if not why not?

    Please girl, come down from your white elephant. This is the real reason why a lot of girls are single, sulking, bitter and in their forties to fifties!

    ReplyDelete
  50. You prayed for Prince Charming to find you.........beautiful.
    Have you gone back for prayer of confirmation..........or you assumed, since he showed up after your prayer.......he must be the one.

    What you painted up here is really sweet........ and clearly, you are falling for the attention.........but when reality hits you....... that is when you marry him and the biological clock slows down, the pressure reduces, the romance ebbs, the novelty wears off and you start living with this man as his wife..... to cherish and to hold, for better for worse, with his flaws and imperfections........ can you handle it?

    Go seek direction from God first.........technically you will need to slow this relationship a little.......pls.
    Find peace within yourself for this relationship.......... and prepare your mind to accept how this relationship goes.
    Learn patience.......lots of it if this man is the one.

    Frankly, i felt some chills reading your story, was practically on a high,waiting for something then i felt a thump in my belly.

    With Human reasoning.....you two are not compatible........ AT ALL. You are a high flier, very educated, with some level of expectation for your kind of partner........ Your type will better submit to a man of your class or even higher, your type derive a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment knowing that smart, charismatic, drop dead gorgeous maybe rich guy is yours......and you will like to flaunt him. You need intellectual stimulation and have witty conversations knowing you are both on a wavelength. You possess qualities of an alpha female and you need an alpha male to flow with or else....... you probably read a lot of romantic novels growing up.
    Then you are temperamental a bit.........but this type of guy you are liking needs patience to work with. Look, it would have been easier if you are at a point of utmost desperation......... like i either marry now or i die situation........make i just see man marry position........ But, you are not, you have a vision of what your partner should be like in your head......... and somewhere you are scared he could show up when you settle with Oga poor social manners.......hence your chronicles.

    The truth is, you wil hardly find the best help here.......... your story is not so simple. Lots of people will tell you.......grab him, you are a gwegz or whatever idiotic term used here......... But Sister, your answer is in God's hands........Pray like you've never done.........Shine your eyes for the red flags........ be true to yourself, what you can manage or not. If he is the one, ask for grace and go for it........ if he's not.......wait some more for yours.....coz this type when not properly handled......... one can predict the divorce date from the wedding day.....God be with you!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best advice I have read in ages. Well done. BTW you both write well.

      Delete
    2. Pardon me to write here. Well written dear.

      Oh well, I was going to say, wait a little while longer while you pray more, because this is not what you want. When you eventually enter into marriage, all you will do is complain until infinity, and that's not going to be healthy for either of you.

      My opinion is that you slow things down.

      Delete
    3. lanrewaju Winnie31 March 2016 at 16:19

      Wow, that was a wonderful piece. God bless u Empress CHO

      Delete
    4. Omg!!! This is the best advice. Don't grab anything because u are 34!!!!! Calm down!!!!

      Delete
    5. Sensible person. I knew some nut jobs will only hammer on Banky W, her age bla bla bla. Nobody is asking salient questions like why did he get divorced? Because trust me it takes a lot for a Nigerian woman to leave her marriage (assuming she left), we believe more in suffering and smiling. Poster do your homework and if you can cope with him, by all means marry him but NEVER settle for less, this is your entire life here.

      Delete
    6. Lol@ Idiotic term used here

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    7. Poster, u don come comment abi? Well done oh. See ur analysis. Since u don't want him, let him go.

      Delete
    8. I duf my cap Empress..walk n stumble not

      Mc pinky

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    9. By far the best advice I have read here,so there are people whos thinking is not miopic,I had to go back to read like thrice,welldone!

      Delete
    10. Gbam!!!!! Poster pls follow dis advice. It's better u r a gwegz than hv a broken marriage or 1 u will cheat on ur spouse.

      Delete
  51. Lolz Stella you stylishly finished this woman abi girl. Aunty gwegs. Nne ask for Gods directions OK. You are talking about the kind of man u wanted in ur life. Did u ask yourself if you're the kind of woman your taste of man want?. You're old already my dear.

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  52. Hi Ananymous,

    Reading your description of you made me know we share quite a lot in common.

    I absolutely agree with Stella's Red Ink ONLY if you have true feelings for this guy. Pls don't get desperate or cut short your expectations of your dream man although you also need to be realistic and not vain.

    I am what you call Aunt Gweg but trust me my waiting for my King in shinning armour isn't in vain! I am currently in a relationship with the Perfect man I have always dreamt of ....Smart, Upmobile, Solid Family & Educational background, Good manners, Comfortable... In fact I seem to be in dreamland as it is... even sexually although we are both trying really hard to abstain but we do a lot of crazy smooching. ..lol We are already involving family in our r/ship.

    In summary.. love is worth hold on for....involve God he knows what is Perfect for you and He will not surcharge you.

    Do not settle for less because Men do not settle for less!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are already involving?? If he wants you he should go straight to your family n do the needful, you are not a 20 year old to fantasize about meeting family gradually! Pray he meets your parents n not drop your silly ass after enough cookie

      Remember u are a gwezz

      Delete
  53. Muahahahahahaha at aunty Gwegs line. Kai Stella ur mouth bad

    684 comment 2016

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  54. Ggbam# teach him and stop complaining.

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  55. Poster if you are not tired of being single just park well and allow people that knows the value of ken crab him.

    You are 34 and still selecting, keep on waiting for prince charming until you clock 50.

    Wait o, did you ask God if ken is the guy for you? Since you have prayed and ken appeared, go back ti God and ask him to show you the real person that ken is. Wishing you happy relationship.

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    Replies
    1. I forgot to say, you should find out why he had a divorce, all the sweet sweet talk wey you dey talk, Mel e mo be say, na to get you to marry him, and then you will see the real him. If he's this sweet, nice, patient, what's up with the divorce, find out.

      Delete
    2. Next time think before typing

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  56. The way of God is quite different from that of man.
    I have learnt over the years that when it comes to marriage, what you seek may not be entirely what you get at the end of the day.

    No man is perfect, my dear you can make him what you want him to be.

    Take it once more to God in prayers.

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  57. She obviously does not know what she wants at 34. Vanity upon vanity, how sad! You will downgrade someone because he does not know about Hip Hop artist and what have you, really? As stella rightly pointed out, there are things that can be upgraded or downgraded with much patience and appropriate guidance or teaching, especially to do with Education and manners. His heart is to your taste and he values you, what is wrong with you Ms Bling Bling? If you want to live and die by Gucci and glamour, back off and let someone more deserving appreciate this businessman.

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  58. Tell him abt sdk too😀. Anyway u should find out y his previous marriage ended, and also pray and ask God for a sign of he is d one. We don't always get what want,i don't think all u complained abt is so bad,u can brush him up in those areas. If he a good man and mks u happy and can tk care of u,y not marry him. It's still ur decision to mk tho.

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  59. That Banky w line got me laughing hysterically..

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  60. That Banky w line got me laughing hysterically..

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  61. My dear God knows the end from the beginning, you might think you don't need this type of man now, trust me later you will realise that it's a perfect match
    There is nothing wrong in you teaching him things u feel he lacks, if he has a teachable spirit and you mustn't be rude or proud about it.
    My dear just as we go to the boutique and buy already made cloths, sometimes God gives you the material so u sew it to ur taste.
    What you have is a gem that needs polishing.
    Also find out the reason behind the previous divorce.
    Just thk God for what he has given you.

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  62. Wen I saw the heading...prayed for a knight in shining armor but got the opposite...I thought it was a woman beater or an asshole but the guy seems nice...my question is this...y do you expect so much from a guy?...not from the same lane...r u drinking kidding me...nd wat lane or background is that...?..d question s dis...do you love him...if you love him then background or d fact that he has children from his previous marriage shouldn't bother you...my dear the problem s not from all this...you wan rush marry...hence the..'should I settle for this'..cause d guy sounds like someone trying to make something out of his life or is already comfortable... Just ask yourself if you love him...cause if you did..you would know wat you want...
    Just my opinion doh

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  63. Hehehehehehekikikikikikik Stella Oh!!!
    You don finish work for this your response.
    This one takes the cake.
    I give it all up for you on this.
    Oya Poster carry go.

    Nothing do you at all.
    If it is of any consolation, i am married to a man just as you described, only that he has never being married nor have kids.
    But guess what, i have all the love, peace and freedom in the world. 10years and still counting. My friends and family nick named me chineye Lol. My sis marry am, i pray he is not jealous nor violent. Also find out why his previous marriage ended abeg.
    Cheers!
    SKET

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  64. Hmmmmmmm
    God works in miserious ways!
    I won't still advice u 2 go ahead and marry someone u don't have any feelings for and besides 2/3months. Is too early to start talking about marriage.
    Tell him to slow down while you take your time.


    From 25,ladies should start thinking of settling down 2 avoid turning to gwemz!
    Stop thinking that time is on your side.
    Men likes them from 23-27 nowadays ooh

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  65. Shantelle loves Tuscany31 March 2016 at 15:42

    He eats noisly and talks loudly....why don't you teach him table etiquette,miss perfect?
    All he knows is business and church,just look atew! What more can a lady ask for bikonu? I'm sure you'v bn asking God for a God fearing man,now here he is but you are busy giving excuses.
    He doesnt know Banky w.....abeg who is banky? Since he's a church guy i'm sure he knows Akanchawa,Chinedu Nwadike and sis Chinyere Udoma. Poster do you know them? O ye of canal mind.
    You are 34 abi? And still selecting even with your tempramental attitude,just continue.
    He is not my kind of man,he is not my spec........that was how aunty feli died an old lonely spinster @ 76. I Sorry for you!

    SHantelle

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  66. Wen una don use una husbands do boyfriend,WO God is merciful.sit down der the do selection,wen age nack u,Nigerian used motor go betta pass u.nonsense n ingredients. Gerrat.baskalifull

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  67. She is already a gwez not approaching. But Stella you funny oh. Pls don't marry this man. You will be irritated by his character. Same thing that sent the first wife packing will send you packing to. Your knight in shining armor will come maybe in 15 years from now. Gudluck in meeting your perfect man.

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  68. This stella is cray lol, na reslly tell him about pdp and apc

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  69. God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.
    God gave you what u need, not what you want. Accept it with gladness, trust me u wldnt regret it
    God doesn't make mistakes, he knows you more than u know urself. Madam u don't ve a prob

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  70. When I got married about a decade ago, I had no interest in football, I did not know and Nigerian player, and did not care. Today, I know them by names, I know when Keshi was sacked and really had sympathy for him being the most successful coach in Nigeria's history, I knew when he won CHAN, NATION'S CUP AND his world cup challenges. I knew about the players he picked from the gutters and made stars. I knew when Oliseh was hired, I knew when Siasia came on and the last exit from Nation's cup qualifiers. Why do I know all these? These are my sweet husband's interests and I Identify with them! When Nigeria scores a goal and he is happy, I kiss him and rejoice with him. If we lose like a few days ago, I kiss him and encourage him and cuddle him. He identifies with mine too; he knows the style of hair he wants, knows my choice pants and underpants and bra sizes. He knows how to apply make up to my face and the colors that suits me and so on.

    This is what marriage is all about; the two becoming one. It is a beauty but humans due to their selfishness have made it a burden; what a shame!

    Girl or baby girl, I am bothered for you about the "cause of this man's divorce" and if his fault, has he changed?. Find out and clear your head of worries! If you do not change, you sound like "every man's nightmare" and not "every man's dream"

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  71. Nobody is perfect and believe mw, its better to marry some crazy about you than a prince charming who will walways charm other ladies outside. Be wise

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  72. Hope he loves God? That heart of gold said it all.

    Those that knows who banky w is have they propose to you? Aunty perfect lady marry your self nah. Malke you dash me ken if you no want am.

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  73. Sista no marry, wait until you are 44 and sleeping in MFM, you hear? Please what is wrong with him? Be waiting for TDH and Mr. Perfect...

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  74. Lol Stella no go kill person! Ur red pen mouth na die. Kai this correct woman no get problem at at all, just teach ur man everything yu've ever wished for, cos saying no to him is not an option. How sure 're yu that ur suppose man 'll appear? No time for that just take ur time and make him ur taste. I bet yu he 'll surely be glad to learn from yu.

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  75. Lol Stella no go kill person! Ur red pen mouth na die. Kai this correct woman no get problem at at all, just teach ur man everything yu've ever wished for, cos saying no to him is not an option. How sure 're yu that ur suppose man 'll appear? No time for that just take ur time and make him ur taste. I bet yu he 'll surely be glad to learn from yu.

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  76. Why will he know who Banky W is?
    People just like placing unnecessary importance on trivial things.
    That's how one said I fall his hand because I know the lyrics to one Apala song.
    Aunty swerve, you never ready to marry.

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  77. I couldn't help but smile at this narrative..i was exactly like you ,looking for all the superficial things in a relationship until I met him. He dint fit one bit to wat my Mr.Romeo should look like.i tried everything to send him away but he hung on and kept telling me he was patiently waiting for me.Eventually I calmed down wen all my GQs failed me. Taught him hw to dress and a whole lot of mannerisms. We got married last year and I can say so far dats the best decision ive ever taken. So babes, its left to you. All d best.

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  78. Poster, has it not occurred to you, that your overly choosy character towards a significant other, may have contributed to you not being married at your age, with all the good qualities you claim to have?

    I don't know about the having kids part, but all the other ones, are not stuff to fret about. If this is someone open to constructive criticism and corrections,and from your description, he is, then I don't see what your problem is.

    You think what we pray for, falls on our laps exactly how we ask for them?
    Abi you think God cannot give you gold in an undefined state?

    I don't know o, but you might let this guy go, and won't see any other person with half his good qualities. I understand how grating on the nerves little noises, like chewing noises can be, but it's not something you cannot change, same as the others.

    Would you rather a talk, dark, handsome smooth talker, who knows what's up but will not treat you right?

    May God direct your path abeg.

    #WhiteDiamondOut

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  79. Gods' ways and mans' ways cannot be thesame. What if u get ur Knight in shinning armour "all refined" but he turns out a monster @ home. God gives the best of gifts. U might not appreciate this man now but I don't think u'll get better than what God has arranged for u anywhere. I think u should pray over it.... Pls NOTE i'm not asking u to go to a pastor... I'm saying get down on ur knees and confirm that Ken is God's arrangement 4 u. If he is, start ur polishing and refining.

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  80. Most women polished their husband in one way or the other. Don't believe Bvs that will tell you otherwise. Some are still polishing their husband till now.

    This man loves you and that is what you need. As for his kids, take them as yours and everything will be fine.

    Who is BankyW that everybody must know him? If he knows Osadebe and Flavour, then you are good to go...kikikikikikikikiki.

    Remember that the key to a successful marriage is God,respect, hot sex,peace of mind, good food and leaving your partners phone alone. Leave his phone alone.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

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  81. U have said it all Stella... What more is there to add?????Norring

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  82. Hahahahahahaha..Stella she don reach aunty gwegs line nah lol. Madam poster please wait until you meet your prince charming jare lol. Leave this good man to marry a woman that love's him , your type will marry this good man and be running around with your exes. Why did you say yes? Oh i see, once y'all reach aunty gweg line you settle for Mr available abi? I beg no vex o, nah Stella first use that word. Hehehe..She said he doesn't know who Banky W is lol.

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  83. Poster please leave that man alone before you mess him up. *hiss*

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  84. Stella so she shld marry a man she doesn't love bcos she's 34 and approaching gwegs.
    I don't even feel she likes him persay, she's just glad a man is giving her attention.
    Poster lets say you tell us sincerely you love this guy, but the guy is poor. I wld have said go for it. Afterall ur working and doing well, nothing wrong if you are way richer than ur hubby. Them plenty for bank, some r d one's even paying major bills like rent/school fees, but dey love dere hubby, so u would never hear them mention it.
    I don't like d idea of a loveless marriage, chemistry and love is very important in a marriage. You are not even sexually attracted to him, that is bad abeg.
    I have a cousin that married at 36, and her hubby is 42, never been married. Another sista in church got married to an ex-minister I know. The lady is 38, while the man is 48 and a widow.
    Sure you are getting a bit old, and things like he's not polished, his not fine shdnt be ur thing right now. But my dear LOVE, CHEMISTRY, SEXUAL ATTRACTION is very important in a marriage. At dis point ehnnnn, just the sound of ur fainces voice on d fone shld make you wet.
    I will say tell this guy to give u atlst 6mths, let you guys court. If deres still no sexual chemistry or like,not even love sef. Let him be.......you are too young to enter a loveless marriage abeg. Then u start fucking men outside and they will tag u married prostitute on dis blog. Or you marry n divorce they call you single mother.
    Better to answer gwegs and marry late than single mother/marred prostitute.

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    Replies
    1. Beds and roses thank u. Aunty don't let anyone pressurize u into settling,b4 u will frustrate the man and make him a 2nd time divorcee. U can continue to date him @ least get to knw him a little b4 u accept. Also do ur personal investigation on why he divorced his 1st wife. Don't settle and if not na so so complain u go dey complain everyday.

      Delete
  85. Poster, permit me to call you foolish. At your age you are still looking for picture perfect, define or explain that picture perfect man sef. If you don't make each other better in a relationship it's pointless. You're team. Whatever he lack, you should have his back and balance each other out. So balance it out concerning the social aspect of his life and stop complaining. There'll be set backs and bad days and this man will need your support, be each other's back bone and motivate each other.
    Na yahoo yahoo boy with saggy pants you want? Cos dem full Chi town here. Apart from Banky W, dem know every hoe name on Instagram sef. Better cling to that man like oxygen.

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  86. The Bible (I assume u read or must have read) says "That His (God) ways are not our ways"...all that glitters is not Gold. Do u know that God knows how many starnds of hairs u have on ur head? Yes!!! All of them...and he knew u, even with ur shortcomings before u were born, now HE in his infinite wisdom has given u ur antidote, a person that could tolerate u...that will pamper u and make u happy all the time...My Aunt married very late, I mean very late. She is faaar richer than d husband, he changed the man's life. He bought the man his first flight ticket, a man of 38 or so. He cleaned d man up and today, the man knows 'whats up'. The good thing is that the man is not ashamed to tell anyone, even when u dont want yo know, he even puts it on his facebook wall. He treats my Ant like a queen ( My aunt is Maaaad temperamental) but the man is like a chilled water, so whenever the fire in her rages, d man quench es it, today they r happy, veeeery happy and if u r around them, of course it affects u too unless u r a witch. My Dear, MARRY KEN!!!!! Before u think of all those trivial things, think of happiness first, marriage is forever thing sweetheart...I wish u good luck!

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  87. Aunty poster please marry him oo, no Mr perfect man in this world. he has just 2ids and you are complaining.... you better as Annie Idibia how to handle such situation.

    your Happiness is my concern, so decide wisely

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    Replies
    1. But she's not happy naa, atleast by her story you will know, she's just pretending to be happy

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  88. I don't know y some ladies are too selective, we are now in computer age where we have excess female, d moment u found a man day meet up to 50% of ur need , just hold home tight .

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  89. I totally agree wit wat Stella said....she has said it all nd pls remember dat time is no more on ur side.....goodluck

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  90. Stella approach gwegs gini, you mean she is already a gwegs. Baby geh I feel sorry for you better grap your copy now now now

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  91. Poster continue to wait for that your Mr. Right until you clock 60. Women always complaining, are you perfect? smh

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  92. I'm in a similar situation and turning 34. The guy is perfect but I'm not attracted to him. I'll try and make it work though. How do girls even sleep with someone they are not attracted to? I know a zenith bank maitama branch fine n hot chic who married an ogre. They have a kid or so now. Even if the man doesn't meet your expectations, try to pimp him up. Maybe that's Gods choice for you. **Sobs**

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    Replies
    1. How to sleep with a man ure not attracted to: You for don ask since na....

      Procedure 1: If he's rich it'd sure make things easier, set ur mind on the finest things his money can buy, its amazing how you'd feel his packs on that pot belly.

      Procedure2: doing it with ur eyes closed while u picture Morris chestnut or Eedris would also help alot, try not to open ur eyes oh, at least till he cums.

      Procedure3: Doggy should be ur favorite position, you should know why.

      Procedure4: he can't be ugly from head to toe na, focus on that one or half thing that u can manage & start accepting everyother part of him from there, even if he has just fine finger nails, start appreciating it and tell urself "This man no create himself na".... Psychologically, u'd start to see a whole new being.

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    3. Some men are too difficult to be pimped

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  93. You just described my husband. Just that my husband has never been married and doesn't have kids. I married him after my mom said she's went to pray and they said he's the best for me. I am happily married and no my marriage isn't perfect but we are working on it. I got married at
    29 and he's got a good heart. Though I prayed for a sexy , dark and super cute man with impeccable English but God gave me what I needed. The truth Is that I rarely notice all the bad stuffs. As long as he feeds me and makes me happy. I don't notice his flaws anymore

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  94. @SDK tell him about omotola and Rita .....heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheehhehehehehheheheheheheheehehehe.....abeg i love this one o o, ...my dear sister those are very minor things and you teach him in a nice manner. Don't be rude while teaching him o o o.... for your information, dont take this man for granted cos you no better than him or other ladies he might have met in the cause of his business meetings and trips......if not you may lose him to younger babes.... God bless you and be wise.

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  95. Honey!
    At 34, you are worried because a man does not know Banky W. Banky W will soon go and settle down and leave you to be judging men by their knowledge of him. At this age, you shoul dknow that a man can learn how to speak better English (we have to look at you as well, talking about "stuffs"...what is stuffs biko?).

    Physical attraction is important but when you are thinking about marriage, you should consider the person's characteristics that can not be changed easily. A bad dresser can start dressing nicely, a man can learn phonetics to rival Obama, a man can not learn to treat you well if it is not in him. A man can not learn to be faithful so easily. You say you want to marry because all your friends are married. You are worried about impressing the cool guys, so you ignore the one who gave you the time of day. Meanwhile the cool guys no even send you.

    Honey with all due respect get real. Allow this man to be with someone who is mature and you focus your prayers on God helping you with perspective. You are not a "small girl", please try and understand what makes a successful marriage and lastly, swallow some modesty pills.

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    1. 1000 likes for this comment

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  96. Dear poster u don't have a problem,God always gives us Wat we need & not Wat we want....stop selecting & get to knw him better except you wan turn to anty gwegwegwegwe.....

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  97. Stella, she's not just approaching aunty geeks, she's already an aunty gwegs. Let her be there waiting for a knight in whatever armour. She will realise when she is 40yrs old...

    So everyone in Nigeria must know Banky? Who Banky help???
    Abeg this aunty never ready to marry jor...

    Is it now a crime to have kids from a previous relationship??? Are you not smell people who advice to walk away if the relationship is abusive??? Whoever knows what went down with his ex wife???

    Abeg I don tire to type jor. She should return the ring and keep waiting for Jesus Christ.

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  98. Madam poster... as u say u r very learned..the word is stuff and no plural for it. Also unlike poles attract.God gives the best, not what we think we want or need. Stella has pointed out useful points, so stick with it.xoxo

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    1. Thank u o!!!! The english sef she no too sabi. Twat......

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  99. Poster, I was thinking like you and nearly made a very costly mistake. I met a very good man with a heart of gold in 2007 but never gave him a chance because I felt he was not up to my standard, was not posh enough and a divorcee with kids. I was always rude to him and will not even talk to him for up to 2 years at a time. If he calls me, I ignore or reject his calls. When I insult him, he'll just laugh ad call me 'my love'. I continued looking for my knight in shining armour, found him and finally got married in December, 2014 not knowing that the so called knight in shining armour was a demon from hell. He made me go through psychological, emotional and verbal abuse and hid the fact that he had a kid from me. He stole my money and looked down on all my achievements. When I couldn't take the rubbish anymore, I walked out of the marriage after 5 months and sued for a divorce so I can have my peace of mind. My toaster kept calling me and one day, I picked his call. We got talking again and he invited me over to the state where he was transferred to. I grumbled but decided to give it a try, left Abuja to Abeokuta. The first night, I refused him touching me but he kept on treating me nicely like a queen and I finally spent one week with him and started seeing him for the good man he is. I allowed myself to open up to him and started falling in love with him. I also took out time to start brushing him up and he was willing to learn. Now, I am so in love with him and I keep asking myself why I let 7 years go to waste like that simply because I was forming Abuja big girl. Everyday, I thank God for giving me another opportunity else I would have lost an excellent man for nothing. I have never been happier in a relationship and I cease every opportunity to jet out to Abeokuta to be with my love. Poster, please be wise. The intrinsic qualities of a man are what really matter. My life was almost ruined by an animal with a posh accent.


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  100. Aunty, carry the man from your left and move him to your right...voila...he becomes Mr Right!
    Look before you leap

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  101. Who's bank w sef ? Ask him if he knows tuface if he doesn't then quit the relationship sacarsm lol...marry who you love don't be decieved. Please let there be a connection . 34 is not the end of the world

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  102. I met a guy here after sending him €150 to get a smartphone now he's phone is just singing different nigerian song.. .I just feel sad

    hhahaaha u ppl wont kill me on Stella's blog. I just had to laugh at this. Which one be d fone is single different tune again.

    @James, can I say you are very stupid. No woman also wants a man that spends all his days on a blog. James catch small shame na. How a guy go dey siddon for blog day in day out. If I was unfortunate to know you as a friend, I will question ur sexuality. When ur not gay, always talking like a woman. Mschewwww

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  103. Don't enter into a marriage when deep down you know you don't love him. It's not fair to him and its not fair to yourself. Everything is still quite new that's y you are still 'managing' him, I can't imagine how you will feel 5 years down the road. People may have a heart of gold but that doesn't necessarily mean they are the one for you. Please put age aside. Is this someone you can see yourself growing old with and being happy? If no then just end it before it gets any worse, trust me I talk from experience, if yes then go ahead. Marriage is no joke and going in not sure is already a sign to not even enter at all. Also, what was the reason y he got divorced, that is also something to keep in mind and y is he so in a rush, if you need time to figure things out then let him know, don't feel rushed.
    Cheers

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  104. God's ways are not our ways..sometimes the package we ask and expect from doesn't always come the way we imagined.

    In my opinion, marriage is all about friendship, love and peace..if you have friendship+ peace as stated and also determine that you wouldn't mind marrying him, love will grow with time but please don't marry him if you have not made up your mind very well about it.
    Don't marry out of pity..
    Be very sure his ex- wife is legally out of the picture though and promise to be a good mother to his kids too and trust me you will have a great marriage.

    All the best.

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  105. Poster, i wouldn't give a damn about a man who doesn't know Banky W and people in his category, but i will be disappointed if he does not know Dangote, Otedola, Obama, Bill Gates, Tinubu, Buhari, Obasanjo and Oyedepo. Do you think you are still a baby? you are few years away from becoming aunty gwegs. You made silly mistakes when you were younger and it seems you don't mind making more. He has kids, so? are you in your twenties? At your age, you think you will easily find single guys without kids? Single guys without kids will go for younger girls and not your age category. You better thank God for this man and accept his kids as yours. Wait for prim and proper guys that will shine your congo mercilessly and still dump you for younger babes. May be when you are forty you will be left with no option to pay a man to marry you, and will still be using your money to spoil your nieces' age mate.

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  106. You better think right. At 34 you should know what you want. My sister was exactly like you, now she is about to settle down as wife number 3 at 38. My dear man proposes God disposes abi how dem dey talk.

    If he has a good heart others things what else do you want.

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    1. At 34 you don't seem to know your priorities you sound so kiddy at heart. So knowing Bank W is a plus to your criteria or these shitty ass musicians. What the man needs to know is his line of business and as long as he treats you right not frivolities. I doubt if dangote even knows bank w but he's a billionaire. You never ready to marry your village people are still on your matter

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  107. Madam ayam beautiful and intelligent. Madam I have everything. Madam english. Gobsmacked. Who the fuck is Banky W anyway. Long Hissss!!! You seem like a pompous ass don't humble yourself o! Be deceiving yasef there. You go soon reach 50 and start singing married to Jesus. Rubbish!!!!

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  108. Oh this is interesting...haven't read comments yet, but I feel I should drop this fast.

    Want to talk about my wife...She is Kate Henshaw look alike, but much prettier and sexier than her.

    She doesn't know Banky W. or any musician apart from Sunny Ade or Ebenezer Obey.

    She doesn't know any actress or artist apart from Kate Henshaw, Omotola Jolade and Genevive Nnaji. We don't watch movies in my house.

    We're discussing yesterday and I remarked, if you get on stelladimokokorkus.com and make comments, folks there would ask you: where in the world did you come from.

    Yes, she is a Nigerian. She grew up in Naija and schooled in Naija. I love her to bits!

    A woman who doesn't understand the word punani, vjayjay, or pussy. She always ask anytime (once in a blue moon) we read stories together on Stella's blog what certain words (slangs) mean..

    Now, I have said all the above to let the author of today's chronicle know that there are many people in Nigeria who know next to nothing about the showbiz or the so called celebrities.

    All the problems the man has are temporary issues that can be fixed with time.

    If he doesn't blow grammar the way that makes your head spin, you can get good programs on English language or better still, get him interested in English Literature - specifically on Poems, Metaphors and Fiction and throw a bit of Philosophy in the mix. In no time the guy go dey flow the way you like.

    Lastly, go on your knees and ask God for direction. The man may, or may not, be God's choice for you.

    Human beings, especially Nigerians, are so vain.

    Stella , you must post this comment!

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    1. You leave your wife come.here come dey read punani abi, you no get work, real men don't sleep on blog, get busy oga married man. You married person you go control as she no sabi. Una no dey watch movie at home my ass, but you read blog every sec, taa!! Reading stories together fire.

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  109. Please find out the real reason why he is divorced? incase you decide to marry him

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  110. At 34 you don't seem to know your priorities you sound so kiddy at heart. So knowing Bank W is a plus to your criteria or these shitty ass musicians. What the man needs to know is his line of business and as long as he treats you right not frivolities. I doubt if dangote even knows bank w but he's a billionaire. You never ready to marry your village people are still on your matter

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  111. Dear poster i wouldn't advice you to continue with the relationship reason been is that the said gentleman already has a package of been married before with 3 kids. Thats a lot for a single lady like yourself to carry, unless you are ready to take full responsibility of those children and you at better be ready for war of winning those kids over because they would not look at you as their biological mother and that can put a major strain in the relationship.
    Secondly you are both of different backgrounds. Where one sees you with class and your other half is of a different pedigree its goes a long way in a relationship because you guys can never meet in the middle. A typical example you guys go out to a posh restaurant and dude looks at the menu and he sees T bone steak and he doesn't know what that is and you begin to wonder and he says i prefer buka food. Already that shows his not of your class and so my dear poster my advice to you is to bail.
    Good luck all the same.


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  112. I seem compelled to respond to this lady and I will try.
    A lot of people on this blog and generally in Nigeria are desperate for marriage. I don't blame anybody though...the society puts pressure on the woman. But having said that lets hold the thought. Is it worth marrying a person when the love is not there? Do you know that apart from procreation another reason for getting married is companionship. From the tone of her chronicle she sounds indifferent to his affection. I sense some irritation even. how them will the marriage stand the test of time. If she doesn't like him genuinely and find him presentable it will affect her in the future. I know her concerns sound peripheral but she must appreciate the guy in certain regards, that's the only way she can respect him as a husband. she doesn't even care for his money cos she sounds like a career lady herself.
    Well Girl give it a deeper thought before accepting the proposal. It all up to you at the end. Good luck is in order.

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  113. Stella,where is my comment?...
    I posted it exactly 14:10 Nigerian time!...you better look for it and post!...

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  114. Dear poster,this is a very big test and I have been in the same shoes as you,
    the devil tries to deceive you by sending some1 that is not what you really want but do not be deceived your mr right is coming ,I almost fell for that trick but thank God I did not because the next person that came (now my husband) is my bone and my world ,another thing is you can only change some1 who is ready to be changed don't force it..don't be desperate to go for someone u might end up being unhappy with,,,remember its not just for days or months its forever so take your time to be sure u are spending your forver with some1 who totally deserves you and your happiness.

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  115. The things of the heart are so tricky......PRAY and ask God for direction and he will guide you thru. goodluck

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  116. Dear poster,

    Please i hope you read my comment, and find my advise useful. I have a friend, who had fantasies just like everyone of us when we were younger. She could not marry a man who is not this or that and so on. When age and reality began to dawn oh her, do you know she married at the age of 40, married to a divorcee with kids and had to convert her religion for him!

    If there is one thing i have learnt in this life, it is to never say never. read my lips poster, "NEVER SAY NEVER". This man is good like you said but does not meet your criteria. How about not letting him go and trying to meet him half way? Please take your time, give this man a chance. If he does not know who Davido is, no biggie! As long as he knows whats happening politically and is doing well in his business, please give him a chance. Love his kids like yours. Put all these worries behind and enjoy your life with him. I honestly pray you do not let him slip away. Love is always found in the strangest places. Above all, please pray to God about it and inquire what happened in his previous marriage. Kisses.

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  117. Good things come in small packages .

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  118. Dear Poster,

    I sure won't advice you to marry a man you don't value. Because the more you complain and grumble, the more you find more reasons to complain and you will never find happiness within.
    But, did you know, if this man was all posh like the idle man in your head, he might not still be available. another babe for done collect am siiiince before you met. (a golden fish has no hiding)

    When many babes want posh guys and there are few of them available, the lucky babes will collect the limited available guys and the remainder keeps searching.

    All those friends who are married, if they will tell you the truth, you will find out that nobody married her fantasies. An adage say; there are somethings you remove from fish head before eating.
    Secondly, you know ur age, it's not like is a taboo but nne this is Africa, Nigeria, it matters o. If as a lady you are up to 30 and not yet married,no matter how adorable you are, people will still be wondering 'who knows why she's still single at 34' and it's things like this now that have kept you where you are.

    Just Negodu


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  119. It is one thing to ask God for something and another thing to recognise it when God answers. When the Israelites complained to Moses about food while in the wilderness, God heard their cries and provided quail. The same people were asking Moses what is was. God rained down food that they so desperately cried for but they did not recognise it. Exodus 16 : 1-15. My point is, sometimes your answered prayers may not come in the package you want or expect. So it's left for you to recognise it when it comes .

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  120. Stella please do another version of single mingle for matured singles...

    Look for ideas to make it more safe and void of unserious elements

    A lot of people need hook ups abeg..no time..

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  121. When i was younger, i used to laugh when people say they didn't know this or that. Now i just calmly explain. Time no dey, poster you should be having fun with Him,, not complaining up and down, continuously pray for God's guidance and confirmation. if he is meant to be yours, nothing can stop it from happening.

    You guys should be enjoying each others company and you both don't need to come from the same background, teach him with kindness yoppy yoppy things. He sounds like a serious guy, please put your head down.

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