Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday Laughs...

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Sunday, February 18, 2018

Sunday Laughs...

Heheheheheh Sunday Laughs for you.....












*S M A R T K I D*

*Dad:* Who do you like more, Mum or Dad?
*Child:* Both


*Dad:* Ok, if I go to UK and your Mum goes to America, where will you go?
*Child:* America…


*Dad:* That shows you love your Mum more?
*Child:* No, it shows I love America more than UK.


*Dad:* Ok, if I go to America and your Mum goes to UK, where will you go?
*Child:* UK


*Dad:* Replied angrily, why?
*Child:* Haha, why the anger? I choose UK because I have been to America before.


*Dad:* When did you go to America?
*Child:* During the first question …



*_~still laughing~_*


**********************************************


A man with an AK47 ran into a church and pointed the gun at the congregation saying,"who is a child of GOD here?! Let me send him or her to heaven?!" The congregation remained silent. He then released one shot into the roof, the congregation shouted, "It's the Pastor! He always says that he is a child of GOD"! Pastor replied,"what kind of conspiracy is this? Every one here knows that I am the son of Mr. Nicholas Ikechukwu Odumodu, How am I related to GOD?"!

*be strong in ur faith*



******************************************************



Men Men ohh Pause!!!
If ever u feel overloaded by wife issues, go
immediatelyto the nearest biological anxiety relief (BAR) center or place an order for any 1 or more of the following antidotes:
1. Wife irritation neutralizing extract (WINE)
2. Refreshing unique medicine (RUM)
3. Bothersome ex-wife elimination rebooter (BEER)
4. vaccino officio depression-killing antigen (VODKA)
5. Wife high infusion suspicion killing energy yeast (WHISKEY)


This is issued by the ministry of Happiness,Imo State of Nigeria



*******************************************************



Teacher*: What do you do after school?
*1st Student*: I go and buy weed from Yakobo
*2nd Student*: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
*3rd Student*: I go and buy cocaine from Yakobo.
*4th Student*: I always stay at home and do my homework.
*Teacher:* You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
*4th Student*: Yakobo
*Teacher*: Satan!
*NOT ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD*


*_~still laughing~_*


*************************************************************



A man with an AK47 ran into a church and pointed the gun at the congregation saying,"who is a child of GOD here?! Let me send him or her to heaven?!" The congregation remained silent. He then released one shot into the roof, the congregation shouted, "It's the Pastor! He always says that he is a child of GOD"! Pastor replied,"what kind of conspiracy is this? Every one here knows that I am the son of Mr. Nicholas Ikechukwu Odumodu, How am I related to GOD?"!

*be strong in ur faith*



*************************************





I just left Access bank this morning, I went to drop bitter cola around the bank premises, because of snake...I no wan hear say anything do my money oooo cos if snake can swallow N36m how much is N19800
๐Ÿป‍♂๐Ÿป‍♂๐Ÿป‍♂๐Ÿป‍♂
Good morning....
*#Copied*

*************************************



Disregard any rumour that Zuma has stepped down!
I visited him in owerri this morning, and he is still standing where he is standing!
I dey my orfiz ..coman beat me ๐Ÿคจ

*************************************




Spiritual problem is when you trek 10km to
work just to get there and realized that the
office key is at home ,so u bottle up all the
emotions this time n trek back home leaving d
heavy bag at the office doorstep.on getting
home now the house key is actually in the bag
you left,so you boil up a lil bit but work must
go on so u trek back to the office pick up the
bag angrily and make your way back to the
house,on getting home you dip your hands into
the bag now see the office key.so you just sit
on the floor locate the nearest plantain tree
with your eyes and shout make una kuku kill
me.

*************************************



Dear Gov. Okorocha,
I come to you in peace this after


You moulded the statue of Mugabe; he resigned a couple of weeks later.
You moulded President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and she has now lost her seat to George Weah.
You moulded President Jacob Zuma; yesterday he resigned.
Please Owelle ndi Imo, the commander of free Education in Nigeria do us a favour, please help us mould Yourself and President Buhari's statues too and it be a thing of joy for ndi Imo and Nigerians


LAUGH! LAUGH!! LAUGH!!! **********************

*************************************



Husband: Sweetheart, i'm going for 3 days church conference.


Wife: OK; but let's commit your Journey into the hands of God in prayer.


Husband: lead us in prayer then.


Wife: God grant my husband great
Journey.


Husband: very loud Ameeeeeeeen.!


Wife: Don't grant his manhood erection if he tries to commit adultery.


Husband: Silent.


Wife: Don't let him return safely if he manages to have extra marital affairs with other ladies.


Husband: .......sweating


Wife: In fact, Holy Spirit, kill him if he commits..............


Husband: Ohhhhhh! shut up,
it's OK,
I'm not going anywhere ;
because Holy Spirit just told me that the conference has been cancelled.
.

*************************************




Today I needed to know if people will obey my command.
.
So I walked into a banking hall with my right hand in my bag and shouted, " On your knees everyone!"
.
Omo, before I could blink, everybody don obey. Some people even laid face down.
.
After a while I brought out my Bible and said, "let us pray."
.
.
In fact how I escaped was a miracle.

*************************************




Okorocha : Baba make I nack you one statue free of charge na.
Buhari : Shege dan banza, you nack Sirleaf she waka, you nack Ekwueme him kpai, you nack Zuma don pursue am, you think i want to retire to za oza room....dan iska

*************************************


JAMB QUESTIONS 2018
1. Animals that eat money are called...
A. Carnivores.
B. Omnivores.
C. Monivores.
D. Herbivores.


2. What is the natural habitat for naira-eating snakes?
A. Aquatic
B. Jamb headquarters
C. Terrestrial
D. Forest


3. The process by which a snake swallows money is called...
A. Phagocytosis
B. Engulfing
C. Pinocytosis
D. Embezzlement.


23 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Jamb questions gat me lmao it is called a monivore stella you did north waist my thyme

      Delete
  2. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  3. Person wey no see where dem dey give money for bible,where e dey to dey give and collect sex without marriage?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚, abi naa? You talk well Toyosi.

      Delete
  4. Oh!!
    What a better way to start your day

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is the sweetest & best of laugh I have read here, was just laughing all through. Thanks Stella for putting laughter on my face this morning, I pray the remaining hours of the day remain like this for me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha the meme about I cannot come and kill myself cracked me up well

    ReplyDelete
  7. That Jamb question na bomb, n also make okorocha mould buhari n himself pls, cos we go d fasrifa for that

    ReplyDelete
  8. So funny. Thank you for this Stella. This has made my day ๐Ÿ’‹

    ReplyDelete
  9. #Once you learn patience, your options suddenly expand*

    ReplyDelete
  10. I come here on sundays for these... Lol. Thank you Ma'am Stella.

    ReplyDelete
  11. LMAO ๐Ÿ˜. I cannot come and go and kill myself.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The bank and the jamb questions got me. Fun

    ReplyDelete
  13. This really made me laugh So hard. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚ ,thanks Stella

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cannot come and ...hahahahaha. So Lagosians. They hate queues.

    No conference...yes na. Stay home, don't go. No trespassing from any lady. RME.

    Ooossshhheeyyy Stella Kork.
    Funny funny laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Loved this. I enjoyed all of it. Thanks Stella

    ReplyDelete

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