CONFUSION IN THE HOME
Dear Stella,
Dear Stella,
Pls keep me anonymous,i am a silent follower of your blog and i must confess,i have learnt a lot from stelladimokokorkus over the years.i am not good at expressing myself and also not a good writer but i have to speak out on this issue because its really eating me up and giving me health issues.
I am a 28 years old woman married with kids,i don't have a job for now,i have a 17 year old relation(she is my cousin,s daughter) staying with me,i am sponsoring her education,Recently i started having an unusual feeling about this girl, but i am not a kind of person that jumps into conclusion except if i have an evidence to prove,it all started when my husband travelled for some weeks,after about 2 weeks this girl asked me when is my husband coming back,and i asked why did she ask,she said she called him about 2 days ago and am like you told me your phone isn't working,she said she borrowed a friends phone to call him:
I became worried because i have never seen this two talking in the house,and my husband never told me she calls him,i became curious and tried to monitor my husband,s call log to see how many times she called but then i don't know her phone no,so i asked what is her phone no,she told me she doesn't know her phone no offhand,then i requested she give me her Sim,she said her Sim is with her friend,when i continued pestering her she gave me a phone no that starts with 0909.
When i checked my husband's phone i didn't see that no on his phone,i took her phone to give a repairer,so i put her Sim in someone,s phone and called my phone,her phone no is totally different from what she gave me,her phone no starts with 0818.now am totally confused and i don't want to send her back to her house without a tangible reason:
I asked my husband what do they discuss on phone that they don't discuss in the house,he got angry and said i am indirectly saying he is sleeping with her,and then told the girl that she should go to their house the next day that i just said he is sleeping with her but this girl wasn't even bothered about the accusation, she wasn't angry about it,the next day she was just her normal self.she has now graduated to wearing hot pants in the house.
This girl doesn't look like a wayward child,she doesn't wear earring and doesn't put on trousers,she is also respectful but then i am not comfortable with my recent observations.I am sorry for the long epistle,i just have to voice out before i die in my silence.
Please advice.
*It's possible that there is nothing between them and its possible that there is something between...maybe its your mind playing tricks on you,maybe its your 6th sense alerting you...I dont know but to be on the safe side evacuate suspect from your house before you use your own hand to groom your co-wife...
A word is enough for the wise eh!
'I don't jump into conclusion until I have evidence . . ."
ReplyDeleteBut lady, you just jumped into conclusion without a piece of evidence!
See as you carry ya hand dey scatter ya own house?
You could have waited patiently to catch the fish. Now you've caught the shrew; Nkakwu or nkapi -that smelly rat with very long mouth.
The relationship between you and your cousin and husband is muddled.
Be silent henceforth whatever you decide, just in other not to complicate matters.
I
DeleteI agree with you,i allowed my anger got hold of me,i wasnt patient.
DeleteWomen and jumping into conclusion like olympic sea divers.
ReplyDeleteIf there was nothing why lie about something as simple as a phone number
DeleteSend her home ma,am, n sponsor her education from afar, if ur suspicion is proven right?, stop being taken for a ride by a small girl n ur husband.
ReplyDeleteShe hides her real number from u n hides phones n stuff n u r her sponsor, mehn....she is an ingrate,n got something to hide, a 17yr old is not a baby.
Exactly. Madam follow this carefully.
DeleteShe is hiding things from you.
DeleteSomething is not right at all!!!
What to do:
ReplyDeleteTell the girl point blank that it was not your idea to send her home.
Allow your husband's decision to stand.
Watch and pray because, anything going on will be easier if the girl is outside.
You feel this way because you don’t trust your husband and that might be because he has shown he is capable of doing something as silly as molesting an underage girl.
ReplyDeleteIf you are not comfortable then it’s your husband that should be faulted and not the girl. You should have a one on one talk with her devoid of accusations that you can’t back up yet and see if she caves. You don’t have to shout or scream, speak to her like a mother not as someone who is angry and wants to rope a thief because she won’t open up to you if you do it in anger rather than out of love.
She is 17, so she is still underage to be having sex with anyone not to talk of your husband. Were you expecting your husband to own up if he was at all guilty? By the way,who buys her cloths? You make it seem like she calls the shot and you don’t regard her as a friend because her cloths and phone issues(sim and number that you don’t know) should be something you should handle yourself. Also, it could just be nothing since you have no job and would ordinarily always be at home to catch anything that doesn’t seem right. I’d also ask that you get a job please, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
Underage to be having sex ? No worry, you go fear when you see her age mate in action.
DeleteAwon feminist. Madame send that girl home n help from a distance weather you trust your husband or not. Cock no go school o. Men sleep with their daughter this days talk less of a fresh girl who is not his. You better send her home let her be seing him from outside your home. You better do that fast n forget all this talk about you not trusting your husband. A 17 year old girl who hide her number from you n wear bomb shorts at home is not a child. Be warn
DeleteWhat amazes me is that
ReplyDeleteShe wears hot pant in the house, your husband told her to go cos you are accusing him... Etc. Nawaoh. Hmmm, madam, I feel you don't have a full hold on your home. Sit up, be a mother and woman of authority in that home. Take charge. That girl isn't your mate. Ask questions, make rules and be very observant. These girls aren't smiling.
I can never allow anybody stay with me when I get married, I'll help from a distance. At least if my husband would cheat, let him do it outside and a very far place for that matter. To get high blood pressure dey easy these days. Madam, handle the situation carefully by continuous observation.
ReplyDeleteOga has been eating her tomato. No questions about that.
ReplyDeleteSomething is definitely up. Please send her away. (not like sending her away will stop anything from happening ) just pray. I don't know what else to say.
ReplyDeleteYou have no job but you are sponsoring her education? Hooooooow?
ReplyDeleteAre you one of those people who bring in "relatives" to nanny their children?
Well, a woman's gut/intuition is always nearly right, save for some people with sick brains.
You might be misinterpreting things because of that nasty news currently trending on social media or you might be right.
If you send that girl out without knowing the truth, they might continue behind your back or you might have just ruined your home due to your distrust.
If she can be bold enough to give you wrong number as her phone number, that means she's not that innocent as you think. And if she can lie and feel nonchalant about the accusation i think evacuation is urgently needed as Stellz suggested.
ReplyDeleteOnce you start suspecting a female living in you house it's over for your own sanity and peace send her away because you will never be okay as long as she is still under your roof. Just send her away nicely besides a 17 year old of now adays is a full blown woman be warned, you are just 28 its time for her to go
ReplyDeleteYour suspicion alone is enough to send her packing. Let her go back to her parents. Whether she's guilty or not, don't take chances.
ReplyDeleteThere is something there definitely. What could she be discussing with your husband that she couldn't discuss with you that she had to call your husband.
ReplyDeleteReal advise from Stella there. Your sixth sense is sending red alert... better to be safe than sorry. You can continue sponsoring her education from her parent's house. Be smart o
ReplyDeleteMe I dont joke with strong coinsidence like this. But, you acted to fast. Why not wait and pretend as if you are not monitoring them till you satify your conscience. What if they are not doing anything? Dont use your hand to dig your own grave because if they are innocent, this accusation will be in their brain for a long time. Now, you ve runined the chance of finding out, because they will be more careful.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is sleeping with the girl.
ReplyDeleteSet a trap. You will find the truth.
But only be sure you are ready for the truth first and can deal with it.
Send her back if u are not comfortable with her any more..
ReplyDeleteAll this men cannot be trusted oh you better send that girl parking and do some follow 👆 work make your husband no go impregnate her for back, what do I even know maybe she's pregnant already
ReplyDeleteMadam your sixth sense is doing it work.dont over look it and you were too quick in questioning your husband. You have to keep your suspicious to yourself and keep observing. Ban her from wearing those hot pants it's your home you have the right to choose her she dresses around the house
ReplyDeleteYou ma sef...your FBI moves are crude. Is that how to do investigation? The way you even asked your hubby sef... There's no way you will get to the bottom of it.
ReplyDeleteThe way he answered too gives room for one to assume something is going on.
If you can be patient enough to make more investigation.
Pretend as if you made a mistake and keep an eagle eye.
You should have asked your hubby in a statement form that your niece said she called... And leave it there. How he answers will tell you what you need to know.
Your niece is up yo something definitely. She AHS lied to you...
Watch and see how and what she does.
Because she doesn't wear earnings or doesn't do certain things doesn't mean her hands are clean.
All the best...
Stella has said it all...better use your head to avoid stories that touch...
ReplyDeleteAbeg all this sisters cousin 17 years old fanny wanna bunking. Na wah o.
ReplyDeleteReturn her back to her people and stop looking for strong reason to do it.
ReplyDeleteWhy keeping a grown up girl in your house and you expect your husband not to be tempted. Better act now.
ReplyDeleteI dont know why women always like to create second wives for their husbands.
I am a man and I have been there before. Sleeping with househelps is the easiest thing to happen to any man because most of the househelps usually like the man of the house. They envy the madam of the house, especially if the man is rich or relatively well to do. They want to enjoy what the wife is enjoying, access to everything, good home, public display of affection, etc. So they can manipulate the man through special care, attention, subtlety, etc. It gets worse if the madam is a tough woman or the househelp involved is possessed with some powers, and as a person who has worked with deliverance ministers before, I know that many women are possessed ( fact).
The only thing that needs to spark up the amorous relationship is just for the man and his wife to have any misunderstanding, the househelp will automatically come in as a replacement, afterall she does everything in the house before. Another thing that may spark it up is if the woman travels a lot, the house help will do everything to get the attention of the man and remember that the bible says stolen water is sweet....
Women should not employ any mature househelp that will be staying with them. They can get a nanny that comes and goes, an old woman as househelp, a laundry staff, etc. Many of the househelps do have things with the man of the house.
I have a relative who only takes houseboys now after the husband impregnated the house maid. This is a girl that smells that we had to keep telling to take her bath at night and change her underwear and bra daily.
DeleteIt happened when she travelled for summer hols with her kids. The girl confided in someone. All the woman cld do is to inform her mother who is a nurse to abort the pregnancy and send the girl packing before she comes back.
Later she was saying it's the maid that seduced her husband.
Meanwhile I went to stay in their house for just a week plus for my bank interview and this man attempted sleeping with me.
I just packed my load and went to my friends house look for excuse.
The man is such a dog and he is a pastor in church and rumour has it he has bedded all the choir girls.
Now the woman only employs boys.
It's a common thing among those men that called themselves man of god. Using God as a cover up to commit so many atrocities.
DeleteAre men not sensible. Can you all not hold yourselves?? What kind of beings are you...so weak. Tueh.
DeleteMadam there might not be anything,don't use your hand to scatter your rltshp with your cousin and rltshp with your husband.
ReplyDeleteBut to be safe pls send her back home. Look for a tangible excuse and send her back to her house. You can sponsor her schooling from afar.
Besides I don't like that idea of bringing in relatives and using them as maids. They just send them to one cheap school they can't even send their own kids. From day break till night they are doing all the house work.
Use your money and look for a mature woman and not kids . And watch your husband like a hawk.
Will she follow her husband around town. If he wants he will befriend everyone in that city. She better check his nastiness
DeleteWow...so sad
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that you acted to fast, now you may never get to the bottom. Send her home.
ReplyDeleteBiko, dont trust all these cousins oh. My younger cousin used to live with my sister, this girl and her mother went diabolical so that my sister's husband can have something with her but God was very good to us, their secret was exposed while a family meeting was going on. God of wonders. It is a very long story oh. We are forever grateful to God.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.....the one I am dealing with is my very close friend..... she has a crush on my husband....i have tried to make excuses in my head....that maybe I am paranoid....but mehnnnn......I set a trap for her and she fell... but she doesn't know I know
ReplyDeletePeople can love our spouses from today till next year, if your spouse is not a good person then you have a problem. If your spouse respects you HE WILL NEVER FALL.
DeleteUr husband just told u the truth...what do u mean “am I sleeping with her “ meaning....yes am sleeping with her...send her packing or she will send u packing
ReplyDeleteNot everybody is cut out for everything, you are a very poor detective. when you are investigating something you cannot let anyone know you are investigating. You opened up everything and now have no way of really finding out the truth. You pestered the girl, you point blank ask you husband. Now, his reaction is very strange to me, he went ballistic and even told your cousin why he is sending her away, in this your family will speak badly of you and also the teenager. He played it right back on you. His reaction or should I say overreaction piques my curiosity. However, if you plan on investigating further please go into stealth mode, though, I doubt you have the ability to do this, because you lack self-control and do not seem to be able to carry anything through without blurting out something. You may benefit from reading the book, The Art of War by Sun Tzu.
ReplyDeleteHow do you have someone in your house and you don't have her number? Like really? Wow. Shocking. She gave you a wrong number, doesn't that call for more investigation? Also why did you ask your husband now? How would you find out the truth? Because now he would be extra careful since he knows you are already suspicious of him. What you should have done is take your husbands phone and search her real number on his phone, if it brings out any calls and messages, screen shot and send to your phone. If it's enough evidence, yoy use it and send her out. If it's not, u find other clues. If none comes up, then you be at peace. He might be sneaking out in the night to go do things
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile if she's wearing what you don't like, tell her to stop wearing them until she's gets to her fathers house. That's how one help I got wore bumshort and I told her to stop wearing it in my house. Next day she said she wanted to leave.
Poster is not a smart woman.
Deleteam sufferirng the amen thing right now, and am finding it difficult to forgive my hubby.... my niece is 15, she comes to help me once in a while,,, and during these visits... She and my hubby will be in the sitting room watching TV till late...
ReplyDeleteI keep shrugging and seeing things from a different light.... this girl is a pretty small girl.
So she came around last week as usual...
I went to bed early.... I slept till like 12:30...when the light went out so I woke up coz of the heat...
Only for me to hear brisk movements in the sitting room... Ah ah I rushed to check only for Mr to see his sitting and facing this girl... With her spaghetti top, and unzipped bump short..... Yes I can't take that image off my head..
I quizzed the girl she said she was only helping him stretch his legs... like WTF at 1am? He came in while I was still talking with her, I had to send her out...
Only for him to start saying its my imagination blablabla
That she was only helping with his legs and all
and I asked him what if I hadn't come at that time?
If it's his sister how would he feel that a man is asking her to help out with his legs at that time of the night?
The story is long. MEnhhhhh
but please how do I ever forget this incidence,
The girl left the same day for school
Something keeps pricking my mind to tell my sis
How do I handle this... I would have believed and forgiven him but menhhh his not even remorseful... Still claiming there was nothing happening between them that night..
Being that he has been unfaithful
Don't they have spy cameras in Nigeria, you can even order one from Ali Express, set it up in the living room and let it record what is going on, then you will see for yourself. Search her room from time to time too, sometimes a simple search will reveal a whole lot. But most of all act normal, act like nothing is out of the way and you are just fine and dandy. It is terrible to accuse this kind of sin without proof, you need proof. Also, watch for coincidences, if she says she is going to visit family or friends for the weekend and your husband also has an out of town even on that same weekend then you may go hmmm and look a little deeper into it. Again, these kinds of things has to be done on stealth mode, no freaking blurting out like the poster and laying all the cards on the table, put your poker face on and know when to hold them and when to fold them.
DeleteAgain another case of a husband with no sense of boundaries. She is 15, he is a grown man. Your husband is not pure in anyway. Stretch legs my foot.
Deleteno family member go folo me stay. weda from husband side or wife side. come , visit and go
ReplyDeleteYou should not have confronted hubby wtot evidence!!!
ReplyDeleteYou seem not be in control of your home. How can yousay you don't know Ger phone number when she lives in your house. Bring your eyes down ma'am. You're very distant from your home . Having said that,I think you should lie low and observe both of them. You already jumped into conclusion which is wrong. Pretend like nothing happened and watch them closely
ReplyDeleteStella she should evacuate the suspect? That means evacuate her husband. He is the suspect. Her today, 50 others tomorrow. Whether she is sent away or not the problem still remains and that is oga husband.
ReplyDeletePlease send her home and help her from afar. Household enemies are the worst. An aroused penis has no common sense.
ReplyDeleteYou better don't trust any man with anyone, men are dogs, prick no go school, prick no Sabi wetin be shame. Fight for your home before one small girl will drive you away from your sweet home, change your attitude towards your husband, be more lovely, friendly, sweet, encouraging to him. Watch the both of them with your both eyes opened, do not ask them questions, be free with your girl, treat her more better, don't you ever let them suspecte you, set a trap for them, allow them both to fall in the trap.
ReplyDeletePoster your problem needs to be taken up in prayer because it's bigger than just suspicions of your man sleeping with this particular girl it is
ReplyDelete- why is she hiding things from you who she's meant to see as a mother
- is your husband faithful period ; trust me you can send her away all you want how many gehs are out here willing???
- when did everybody in your home start acting all weird and suspicious?
Therefore poster only prayer and action can solve this Gina k to being the loving wife but check your husbands behaviour don't even ask any questions just observe but behave unbothered about much until you have something to be bothered about