Hmmmmm...na wah
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
NIGHTMARE MARRIAGE
He also opened up to me about his present financial status ( said he lost his ) and how his dad had promised to sponsor the wedding. Fast forward to a month and 2weeks to our traditional wedding, bobo hasn't bought his air ticket and does-not have a penny to do so either ( according to him).
I bought his ticket and made every necessary arrangement down to airport taxi. Two days after his arrival, the story changed, he told me how his dad won't be able to sponsor the wedding as promised because he had spent a lot on medications but he (bobo) will call a few friends to borrow money from. To cut long story short, he couldn't get anyone to assist him and that was how i paid for out traditional wedding including my bride price!. Three months later, father in law passed on............
Then my nightmares started, my savings was used for his burial arrangements,one month later oga went back to UK and by then i was already two months pregnant. I decided to go stay at my parents the following month because his family's stress was becoming too much as his 7 younger siblings and mother relied on me for feeding ( i can't eat anything without preparing for the whole family) .... Mind you while all these was going on, i was 23years while he was 31.
After welcoming my little prince ( all thanks to my parents ), my Dad decided to send me to the Canada to further my studies, which i did and got a decent job afterwards. He usually visits us ( our two kids and i ) from time to time but we hardly pay him a visit because he stays with about 3 other guys in one room apartment and does absolutely nothing for a living and also refused to join us in Canada......
Now to my main problem...
1-He has physically abused me twice since i moved here.
2-he was caught 5 months ago for drug tracking and was sentenced to 5years imprisonment.....
3- I have been the one providing for his family( mother, 7 siblings grandmother/ father )since after the death of his father till date.....
FINALLY, Please fellow BVs, how do i take myself out of this? i am 31 years old, i work so hard but don't own a single property to show for it. I AM TIRED!.
Ps: My parents are not aware of all these, i think my mother will encourage me to leave but am not sure if my dad would.
*What do you expect when you married yourself?He is in Jail for five years so how do you expect to take a walk without divorcing him?I am beginning to see the disadvantages of a bride price...ten kobo paid tie someone destiny to someone else..Please send him papers to sign in jail and go start a new life,this one will not end well if you continue.
Have i posted this before?
Chai! He was a wrong signal from the onset. The biggest mistake you made was marrying yourself. If he comes out from prison after 5yrs he won't change, might even be worse. Let your parents in on all this and let them traditionally end the marriage. Collect your money back; awkward.
ReplyDeleteAnh anh, you are waiting for someone in jail, you have patience o, I don’t even know what you are asking, you are considering someone has has abused you before? You can’t be serious
DeleteToday that I planned on sleeping for hours, my son just started running temperature, I am tired. Lord please heal him amen
Another case of a delusional, low self esteemed woman who thinks if she pays for everything in a relationship, the man would love her and not leave her.
DeleteI bet you were just desperate to be married, stay and enjoy your marriage naa!!
Are his siblings handicap that they can't fend for themselves and their mum? I'm sure some are older than you sef. Better let your family know and end this nonsense you put yourself in
DeleteI learnt not to trust a broke guy mehn.me was stupid believing this idiot guy while he was using me. Stupid me helping up and down. Now he has small money and thinks he has arrived. May God help us women. Will send my chronicle soon
DeleteAnother 'MUMU' chronicle. You really couldn't see through his lies when he told you there was no money to marry you??? Why didn't you postpone the mareimartill when money is available??? Anyway let me go back and complete reading.
DeleteUve already married him so I won’t yab u. No need crying over spilt milk. first things first stop taking care of his family financially. Contact him and tell him u cannot be doing that. Contact them and tell them as well. Next pls try and leave him. U are actually married to urself. For now focus on urself and ur kids. And pls tell ur parents what u r going thru so u have some support. Good luck
DeleteLolzzz I pity for you.. infact am really lauging out loud..your case nah Sorry oooo...nonsence
DeleteAlthough you paid for your own bride price, give him back his bride price in jail, just symbolic so he knows the marriage is dissolved
DeletePoster u don't even seem like leaving? I'm laughing at u gal😂😂😂 u married urself with ur papa money😂😂😂
DeleteHow can u take care of 7people+ extra with ur money/papa money?
Chai....how much can u stoop sooo low? Y soo DESPERATE?
Wen ur overtly desperate, this is what u get!
Gosh! Ur soo irritating! I puke!
Ladies and gents read the story again she is hiding something @ 15 a bf then a long distant relationship but engaged at 23 with 2kids later. He then lived away from u. The story no just tally. U r in Canada and u don't know what to do well when u wake up from your slumber u will know.
DeleteThis is no marriage madam, you should have realized this a long time ago. Supporting your fiance financially might seem OK, but doling out cash to pay for your traditional and dowry is incomprehensible, you shouldn't have. 5 years you say? Better open up to your folks and ask for divorce.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her and she still got pregnant...grandpa that want to attend wedding before he died and doesn't have MONEY...I don't get, you should have told told them that you guys should chill,
DeleteIf at this point you’re still asking us what you should do then your case is beyond hopeless.
ReplyDeleteBros or sis abeg chop knuckle
DeleteChop another knuckle..to think she's from a family that can afford to pay for a degree abroad. After staying abroad you still haven't improved. Sorry
DeleteFellow bvs have said it all but one more thing to add,if you like let them convince you otherwise again because I know once u ask for divorce they'll start saying it's because he's in prison and that maybe you've found a new flame that's why you decided to divorce him,anyhow shajust make sure you use your brain and let no one live your life for you,remember you have only one life✌🏿
DeleteYou better tell his siblings and mum that u can no longer support them, how can u be responsible for them? They go and look for what to do and help themselves.
ReplyDeleteMove on biko.
7 siblings!!! Ha!! God have mercy. Poster you have tried for that family, REST please. If none of them can look for a job,let them stay Like that. So you are to wait for 5years for a lazy man?? Please think things properly abeg,so you Dont age before your time
DeleteYou've been feeding his family for 8 years? Wow! Please move on while you're still young.
ReplyDeleteLie to his family that you have lost your job and can no longer support them
DeleteNa wah oo.. At just 23 you open eye enter that kind of one chance marriage.
ReplyDeleteThe minute a man starts asking me for anything I cut you off. Love cannot blind me in that one.
Even in calling sef the man will call more than me. I'm attracted to real Men, all these chewing gum boys re not for me.
stay their and be making mouth until you clock 35.
DeleteGod bless you senorita, don't mind Anonymous oo
DeleteSo what if she clocks 35? It's stupid comments like this that made this poster to be in this mess. Rubbish !
DeleteAnon, even if she clock 100, it is still better than marrying herself. At least she has self worth which is clearly lacking in your statement. It is your type that will marry yourself and be going behind to your 35 year old single friend to ask for food for your husband and children. Shameless pesin.
DeleteLet her people return her bridesprice if she's ready.
ReplyDeleteStel, tradition marriage is the easiest marriage to dissolve. Just return the bridesprice, finish. While legal marriage takes so much time to dissolve, paper work, legal process and all.....
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
The bride price she paid with her money?
DeleteTraditional marriage....
DeleteTo be dissolved....
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
No need for divorce ohh, you married yourself .hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteYou are wasting your money and time on that family,pls divorce his lazy ass and let them sort themselves...
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of annoying chronicle is this? Lets say u were deceived into paying his flight fare and ur wedding expenses at 23 (rolls eyes) how on earth could you have continued fending for ur useless husbands family? What havr u gained from the union apart from kids which I am so happy u have got. You dont nee dc that sperm donor again cos that's all he has done for u.
ReplyDeleteim excited you live in Canada so no case of inlaws coming to camp in your house.
Cut off from all of them. Change ur number. I dont think u should think of another marriage for now so hold on contacting ur ex for divorce for now so none of them can have any contact with u.
Face ur kids.
Face ur work and live ur freaking life.
Focus on buying a house and saving for ur kids future. if I hear say u send money to one useless inlaws I go find u come
b eat for Canada.
What did I just read! You need to get yourself out of the marriage. So the older siblings can't fend for themselves?
ReplyDeleteYou are too young to be saddled with all these baggage
Na wa ooo.....i am not saying you should not divorce him but dont do lt now that he is in jail,wait for him to be out first.
ReplyDeleteThank God you have two children already ,dont rush into another marriage yet.
And also dont shoulder the responsibility of his family,do the little you can and face your children.
It is well with you dear.
Wait for him indeed. Can you actually advice your relative this same nonsense...mtcheww
DeleteDivorce him and move on with your life. His siblings must have seen you as a mugu. They won’t stop until they finish you. You married yourself. Don’t expect him to change when he eventually comes out of prison. For the sake of your children and your sanity, move on.
ReplyDeletePoster,u are married to urself. I was in such a marriage bf,I was financially wrecked. I became old,worse is they saw me as an evil woman who took all their luck,bcos I practically did everything. When I became poor,he left and never asked of our kid. I started anew, from scratch. Am still at work,will get better. So,pls run from that devil marriage. Its DOA.
ReplyDeleteWhy so many dumb and foolish women on this blog???
ReplyDeleteStella you've been running there chronicles for over two years now, but the people wouldn't still learn..
Or is the pressure to marry so much that females enter "desperation mode" easily???
I weak..
Nne,continue to stay in the marriage and wait upon the Lord k???
Nonsense and Lia Mohammed!
There have been at least 500 chronicles and every time the same story! They don’t learn!
DeleteMy dear is if the man transfers his family's lazy and dependency gene to the children, it will be hell on earth for her.
DeleteLMAO 😂😂 wic one be nonsense and lia Mohammed?
DeleteLook at all the heavy load you're carrying ma'am. I don't even understand how you went ahead to have another child for him after the first one. Sometimes, we do things behind our family's back thinking we're smart, not knowing we're being foolish. If you had told your parents, perhaps they would have guided you properly. You need to involve your family into this asap. Your bride price can be returned and that settles it. To think he even beats you on top of all this is a No No.
ReplyDeleteReturn bride price to were biko nu??? No be she pay herself. Hian
DeleteAnon, it should be returned to the man's family. She paid her bride price herself meaning - she took money out of her pocket, then gave the man to pay her bride price and other rites. Hian nke gi!
DeleteImagine not just caring for the lazy oaf of a husband but had to carry his family too. So all his 7 ssiblings have nothing doing?
ReplyDeleteNow he is into drugs, better end it now or one of these days, he will rope you into his shit.
Divorce his sorry ass and face your kids.
Extend my regards to your parents cos they are the real MVP.
This might sound harsh but it's the bitter truth. Stop all form of supports to the family .face your kids and start saving up for the future. Sorry to say, that man na "one chance" . All the best
ReplyDeleteBobo never told you he wanted to marry you because he loved you.... rather that his Dad wanted to witness his marriage. That was where all your problems began.......
ReplyDeleteThe decision is yours to make... start life all over again by getting divorced and cutting off these sponges you call in-laws, or keep suffering and aging over this farce of a marriage.
Exactly
DeleteI dont understand how people put their self in trouble how can u be feeding his family,biko who was feeding dem before u force yourself into their family? I advice u get yourself a new place and move on you dont have a husband na sperm donor u get
ReplyDeleteStella,it is not about bride price, it about our culture and mentality of "I will marry to pepper them". Meanwhile, things are not the way we portray it to be.
ReplyDeleteWell, BV, please send him divorce papers and be opened to your parents because you need their support. If not the man's family will finish you until there is nothing to suck. Remember the guy will only serve half his prison term
Why are you using your money on his family when he can't even take care of you? Dem swear for you?
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm!women! How can u marry yourself? This desperation of answering MRS is causing we women more harm that good.God will c us through o.
ReplyDeleteMy advice for u is to stop taking care of his family. D seven siblings should go n look for something to do with their life.as for divorcing him, I think u will have to wait till he comes out o.or can he sign d divorce papers there?
Hmmmmmm!women! How can u marry yourself? This desperation of answering MRS is causing we women more harm that good.God will c us through o.
ReplyDeleteMy advice for u is to stop taking care of his family. D seven siblings should go n look for something to do with their life.as for divorcing him, I think u will have to wait till he comes out o.or can he sign d divorce papers there?
He signs the papers from jail and when he comes out, you become minced meat?
ReplyDeleteDesperation to marry abroad.
ReplyDeleteMarriage and abroad are two bad mixtures for the Naija girl anyday.
Madam, while you think only of yourself, remember the two kids who
want their father to be part of their lives.
Divorce him fast..but the way u sound,am sure u re still inlove wid him..mayb the guy have a very large rod..reason y u cnt leave him.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅 I dey tell u. She is so dull.
DeleteHe has ben in the UK before u even went to Canada but he still leaves in a 1 room with 3 other guyz?...Can't you see that he is not a serious pwrson?
ReplyDeleteHonestly, guy must be a scum, if u are a serious person in d uk by now he should have a good job and know what he wants but he still lives in a room with friends!! Even new comers in d uk have progressed, like I said above, just tell his family u have lost your job and permanently let Theo guy go but don’t tell him while he is still in prison cos his family won’t think that u have someone that’s y u said u don’t have a job, get a new guy abeg
DeleteWhat kind of hell of marriage is this? Arrested for drug trafficking is enough reason to divorce him fast, ThankGod you have 2 kids now, please start a new life.
ReplyDeleteYou met him at 15, married him at 23 and want to know if you should divorce him at 31. Poster, your case is different. Your suffering started early and it is now raised to power 10. Do the math or just wait for him to leave jail so that you can make a robust decision together. What is 5years in jail? Ordinary five years o. Chai! Aturu mu ebunu gba aka nwa..
ReplyDeleteNigerian girls are attracted to abroad boyfriend and husbands like bees to honey. Most don't know what most guys go through over there.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this happened to you. The years can pass and you realize nonsense has continued for too long. Put a stop to it now.
ReplyDeleteChai
ReplyDeleteSee as you just opened your korokoro eye enter problem...Nawaoo
ReplyDeleteKai.....it is well with you
ReplyDeleteI’m sure this woman was going on social media ‘peppering’ them. Carry your cross since it is obvious you enjoy suffering
ReplyDeleteWow, you really tried fending for his whole family including grandmother, they even used your money for his father's burial, no shame in that family at all.
ReplyDeletePls kindly withdraw all the support you are giving them, I am sure you haven never spent that kind of money for your people before, Are you legally married to him? Just know in your heart that you have moved on, thank God you have two kids and a job to take care of them. I am not sure If he will change when he returns from jail, well he might change when he knows there is nothing left for him anymore.
Even the bride price was paid by you so how will they return it back to you, it is just as if you married yourself all along. He used you but there is still hope for you my dear, just act like you don't have a husband. Fending for a whole family as if they can't work, they are just wicked, their lineage get as it be sef.
God will help you dear
Poster that man is married to another woman in Uk that's why he claims he is sharing 1 room with his friends so you won't come, he sees you as Mumu cash cow & you dy deliver, mind you your marriage is void abnacio cos you paid your bride price your self , the most shamelessl people on earth are broke lazy men
ReplyDeletePoster, how much lies did you tell to your parents to cover up for your boyfriend turned husband - At 31, are you still lying to your parents thus coming to SDK to spill? Tell your parents the truth Now that your marriage was a LIE from the beginning and seek elderly wise counsel. You know you don't need SDK to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteLoll, this made me laugh. You actually consider yourself married? Lmaooooo.
ReplyDeleteYou don't sound intelligent for your age. It's obvious did guy's just using u to fend for his family. U are actually still in love with him if not u wouldn't be asking pple for advice on this. Have more children for him and he will turn a new leaf. Nton
ReplyDeleteSo uv joined tonto dikes group now dat use dia personal monies to pay ur bride price? Poster d Lord is ur strenght!as u. Lay ur bed,so u lay on it!
ReplyDeletePoster, do you love and cherish yourself? If you cannot confide in your family so you couldn't tell one of your Close friends what's happening to you? Please is this man of yours a different specie from another World that you were so carried away to indulge in such marriage?
ReplyDeleteCall your parents and tell them everything.let them help you out to sort out this issue. And please stop sending money to his family , you're not their mother.
Please be wise and don't treat this same mistake again. You cannot be paying a guy's bill when he'not handicapped or a vegetable. You have to be strong and firm in your decisions. Use your head please and don't be carried away with emotions.
That Guy does not love you. You are just his ATM, his Maga and pay mistress. Use your brain and stop this self pity.
ReplyDeleteThis is the kind of stories that made me hate all categories and level of poverty in this world! I have bad allergy to friends, family, lovers, sympathizers, spreaders, carriers, agents and transfers of poverty.
ReplyDeleteBe careful not only divorce can save you from this curses, as it can become generational if care is not taken. For someone to know, relate with and associate with a father, who will become a grandfather and great grand father one day like this and his equally lazy, longer throat and broke family members.
I am sorry for women who fall into this life just because of desperation to marry or to have have children.
Ndi ara!!!
I always advise ladies not to pay their bide price because bride price is for the guy to pay and the marriage never works out. I have four friends that has done that and they are all single parents till today. You can assist but not 60, 70,80,90,& 100% financially. Are the siblings sick or something, you tried to marry and have kids with somebody that never provides for you and the kids.Only you did burial, did wedding, takes care of your husband seven siblings and mother, pays rent , pays the kids fees, pays bills, buy clothes, buy food on top of your head. Una weldone.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for you. You need to open up to your parents so you can get the emotional support you need. This is too much for you to carry alone. Come cleans pour it all out to your parents.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you need to go to the courthouse and file for divorce ASAP. It should not be too expensive. Fill it out and turn it in. He will get served in Jail.after that, you change your address. I list your phone number.
Also cut all ties with family. Keep your kids away from them before they assimilate their laziness and hand out mentality.
Do not dwell on the past. Do not beat yourself up. You already made the mistake and it’s time to move on. Move on. I wish you good luck.
If you need encouragement, let Stella know. I will also text her about this. May God grant you peace as you take the next step. May He give you Grace and guts. Shalom!!
This one doesn’t need advice.
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle is worse than the problems of Nigeria.
ReplyDeletePoster, please UNDO this marriage.
God has been kind to you for you to still have a job.
So please stop wasting precious resources meant for ur kids and rainy days
on a lazy set of individuals. Be wise and go tell your Momma the truth.
BTW is your name Patience? Abi endurance?
I cringed like 5 times reading this 😲😲
ReplyDeleteMehn I am just weak!!!what did I just read. A man is structured to be a provider, its in their DNA. The head of the family, the protector and you his woman is his pride. To be cherished and adored, you are his help meet, not help mate.... Note the difference. How can a man do this to you, even men no matter how rich will not take care of your entire family up to your grandparents for goodness sake!!!!! Are you under an influence? You need to get your head examined, did they cast a spell on you?....please tell me this is a joke.
ReplyDelete