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TIPS TO GET RID OF CONTROLLING ''MUMMY'' NEEDED

Good day Mrs Stella, thank you for your blog, it keeps me company when I’m bored. More grease to your elbow. 

I want the house to help me out here. Let me start from the very beginning, it’s going to be long but please take your time to read. In 2016, my mum got very ill, we stayed in the hospital for 4 months. When she was finally discharged, we practically had no savings. Then in January 2017, my mum passed on. I moved to my dad’s place. My parents were separated but they still visited each other and neither of them remarried. 

After I came to my dad’s place in January I joined a church and started serving.. I’m a very private person, who likes keeping to herself, I didn’t tell anyone in the church about my mum’s death and burial. One day some group of ladies(in my service unit) were just talking and the discussion came to me, then they were asking me some questions, as per getting to know me and stuff. That was how they got to know about my mum’s death and burial. One of the ladies in the group, let’s call her lady Q, she took interest in me.

 She started calling me her daughter and with time I started calling her ‘mumy'. 

Now to why I’m writing this chronicle, after my mum’s burial, I got admission. Things were kind of tough, the church had to help with my acceptance fee. I had issue with house rent at a point in time and I met lady Q, she helped me out. Ever since then, she wants to control me. She would tell me that I must do this and not do that. If I don’t do as she says she would start shouting and sometimes hitting me. 

There was a time I uploaded a new Facebook profile picture, she called me and started asking when I took the picture and why I didn’t tell her. I didn’t tell my dad at first but then it got out of hand. She is very abusive and hot-tempered. Sometimes she would call me and little things I say she would start shouting, it got to a point that every time she calls me I would end up being angry for hours. 

My roommates and friend would always notice a change in my countenance after every call. When we are fasting in church she would tell me when I should end my fast, if I end before that time she would say I’m too lazy and like food a lot, she tries to make me stay for all the services we have in church. She keeps reminding me that I’m fat, when she asks something and I tell her the truth she would say I’m lying. A friend told me that maybe she is trying to amend errors she has made through me. In July I stopped calling her and she noticed I was angry at her and she changed a bit. Now she has started again.

 She does help me, occasionally she gives me money and stuff(clothes, shoes). She isn’t married and I just want her to get married before I disassociate from her, but it’s becoming unbearable. She is too bossy, controlling and oppressive. She is a very nice person and she gives a lot, I won’t be fair if I don’t mention that, she does give me good advice sometimes, but this her other side is what I can’t manage. 

I need advice on how to get rid of her, I don’t want to seem like a bad person, so people won’t say after all she has done. But I need to have peace and rest. How do I leave such relationship without seeming like a bad person? Please bv’s help me out!

*Can you continue with School on your own without her?If the answer is No,then you cannot get rid of her at all...cant you find a way to handle her?Shouldnt you be used to her tantrums?Since she is playing a major role in your life right now,I think it would be best you look for ways to manage her and let the 'friendship' die a natural death...

I know her behaviour is extreme but please manage her.