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Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Na wah!!!!











STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

THE AGE FACTOR


Good day Stella,


Please help me post this as i am so confused


I'm 26. Met this guy few months ago and i am so in love with him already. He loves me just right and does the sweetest things, truthfully i have never felt this loved nor have i loved this much. He runs his own business and has about 2 employees and is doing pretty well for himself. At first he told me he was 25 and i didn't believe it because he looks and acts older. I felt it didn't matter since it was just a few months age difference.


Stella, he confessed to me few days ago that he's just 22. 22! I felt so horrible. He kept apologizing and saying he didn't tell me because he feared I'd leave him.

I love him so much and the mere thought of not being with him breaks me. But a part of me is so not comfortable with his age. i want to settle down soon, start a family and i can only imagine that with him. He says he had always planned to get married when he's 25, by then i'll be 29. I'm worried about a lot of things. 


What are the chances that this will work? Will this work? Can i handle this? Has anyone here been in this situation? What did you do?

I'm just so confused.



*Age is nothing but a number alright but if his family finds out,forget any Marriage taking place.....that is the Nigerian mentality,that the man must be older than the woman he marries...

The choice is yours.....I personally like to hang around older people cos of their vast well of Knowledge and the security being with them brings...
The choice is yours to make......

77 comments:

  1. So let’s assume he didn’t tell you the truth and then you find out after marriage, would you leave you for this singular act? You’ve said he is mature on all sides but you want to ditch him because he is younger?

    The truth is age isn’t a sign of maturity and people would respect or disrespect you regardless of how old you are if they want. Unless you’re saying this discovery would cause you to disrespect him then I’d say you should let him go but if your attitude would be the same then let the relationship flourish and if it leads to marriage fine or else enjoy the relationship you might learn something from it.

    Do you know Darey Alade? Find out his age and then his wifes’, they’ve been married for 12 years now despite all what naysayers said back then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doppel,this is 22 we're talking about here.. if he was 28 and shes 32, i'd understand & advice she overlook it, he doesnt have life experience, running a business doesnt mean youre smart & mature for marriage!

      Delete
    2. Fakky is so busy this festive season
      Will resume commenting proper by 25

      Delete
    3. Oxygen, I do not agree with you but I also mentioned that this relationship doesn’t necessarily have to lead to marriage. Parents of old got married very early and I still know young people getting married quite early both female and male. Darey got married at 24 and his wife is 8 years older. Face one issue at a time, is it that he is 22 or she is older that is the problem? If she was 18 and he 22, would it make a difference?

      Delete
    4. 1. Hes damn too young
      2. She doesnt envisage a happy ending with them both smiling.
      3. Shee already writing chronicle to Stella ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    5. Age is nothing but a number but 22 is damn too young for a guy talking marriage.

      Being in a relationship is totally different from being in marriage. Yes love is the Key but psychologically & emotional maturity is very important. Running a successful business doesn't guarantee running a successful home and vice versa. He loves you and you love him but I'll understand if he is 26 right now and you are 31. Both of you would have experienced some "bitterleaf" soup life has to offer.

      The ball is in your court. The decision is yours to make and you know it already.

      Delete
    6. According to the chronicle, he's not talking marriage now. Says he'll be ready by 25. Poster the situation is dicey.. if U re in a hurry to settle down, then U can keep looking..

      Delete
    7. Running a successful business at 22 takes a lot of maturity. I say you stick with him.

      Delete
  2. My husband is just 6months older than me.
    The only problem here is he planning to get married in next 3yrs.future is not certain so babes since you want to get married at this age if you see another ready guy that is okay just grab him and tell this one byebye

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! Don't put all your eggs in his basket.. Hang around him, but keep an open mind. I'm not saying you should have sex with anyone that says hi, but don't shut the down of friendship with other guys.

      My 2cent

      Delete
    2. Expect you guys are separate years den there's nothing like 6months older,una be agemates

      Delete
    3. Yes anonymous we are age mates. I wrote 6months just to elaborate.

      Chummy you are right.

      Delete
  3. Poster, u see dat Stella last paragraph ehn, na him make u follow. Therein lies ur answer.

    #continues eating minimie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought so too at that last paragraph. I was like "Stella has already answered the question, so poster look no further".
      My dear I was once in your shoes. I naturally like older guys with maximum 12 years difference.

      Guy was 23 I was 27, yes he lied about his age but I could see through him for whenever we hung out i always felt like I was with my baby brother.

      Mentally, intellectually,even financially, he wasn't there at all considering that i was thinking marriage and he made it clear that wasn't in the books at the time.
      He later told me his real age....I was relieved he confessed early for the relationship was just two weeks so i bolted.
      You should be with a guy who is marriage minded like you.

      Delete
  4. Poster keep it moving. That relationship is DOA. What's the guarantee he's gonna settle down at that 25 self? I will advice you keep it moving before you will end up wasting your precious years waiting for nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would say she is nothing but a number too but the real problem here us the age is already affecting things. Now he says he wants to wait for ,3 more years and marriage is already doing you. Ask him if yes ready marry now

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. But a lady at 22 is due for marriage abi

      Delete
    2. ...not also advisable for a lady, but it can be overlooked.

      Delete
  7. The question is.. Is he ready to get married to you now??? If he's not, then you may have to part ways. He's quite young & I don't think his parents would be willing to support him getting married at 22/23.

    Whatever happens, you may just have to be on the search again or wait till he's ready.
    Whatever you do, apply wisdom. ❤

    ReplyDelete
  8. 22yrs ? madam he is too young...na wa oh.. He is still a baby. This is Nigeria. Allow him to mature please and grow his business. Stop giving him tudor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tudor ceasar..๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

      That bad ass seasonal movie

      Delete
  9. Age is not just a number in Nigeria.

    You, will u allow your son marry a lady older than him?
    Are u November born? Only then can u keep it a secret..
    Because they don't take secrets to their grave thats a burden, they simply go to the cemetery bury it there and get back to living.

    ReplyDelete
  10. But you love him and he treats you right. See ehn,ten years from now at thirty six you will reminisce about being twenty six...go for it. Your happiness shouldn't be confined to numbers. I'm sure he confessed because he wants you guys to get over it and just enjoy your relationship. Good luck to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Babe move on.you just wrote that u aint comfortable with the age. You only love him because of his money. If he wasn't financially ok will you still be him...ask yourself. Think well before you frustrate him in marriage and disrespect him since you know that you are older, but the choice is yours to make.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm just wondering the nature of bizz he runs, that would've helped me measure his IQ level...
    22 is so damn young!
    Even at 25 he'd most likely not be mature enough to be married

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At 21, I already had a huge responsibility in my office but I had to lie to my boss I was about 27years at the time because he was someone that placed huge emphasis on age.

      At 24, I met my wife who was/is 3years older than me. I was balling of course because I somewhat had things going for me. But when I later told her my age, she got very infuriated by the fact that I was younger than her and what people would say plus the fact that I had lied.

      You see! The earlier you remove the people factor in your relationship, the better for you. Those were the things I pointed to her. Age is indeed nothing but a number. What mostly matters in life is how you choose to apply yourself in everything you do.

      You need to see me lecturing my wife about issues of life. Maturity doesn't come with age but rather with wisdom. Every wise person, is matured but not every "supposedly matured" person (age wise) is wise.

      Often times we place importance on things that has nothing to do with what truly brings us happiness. My dear Chronicle writer; when you are matured enough to outgrow peer pressure is when you yourself has become matured. Because when you're able to take out what people would say, is when you're truly doing something for yourself.

      My advice is, remove the people factor and take a decision for yourself. I hope this helps.

      RM.

      Delete
    2. It worked for you, God bless you as you deceived & started your marriage on lies, na una way... i dont know about the poster, but it has nothing to do with societal pressure & public eye, i cant date a younger man! My mindset wasnt built for that. Some ppl can.... not me.

      Delete
  13. if i were you i will leave marriage side and enjoy the relationship with open mind. must all relationship end in marriage?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why board a vehicle not going your destination? Thats how she'd be enjoying relationships till she enter 30, then u call her gwegz... see SnM yesterday, plenty above 30 singles all over

      Delete
    2. Abi oooo...instead make we play n have fun..๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

      Delete
  14. You said he's not ready to get married now so can you wait? If you think you can't respect him well enough cos of the age difference, I think you should just step back a little and think about it. Love is ever enough.

    ReplyDelete
  15. the boy prick never mature at all. as for me i dont date younger guys becos i cant marry them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ewoooooooo!!! Abeg which age prick dey mature? Asking for Amadioha!!!

      Delete
    2. Adele, that question is for BB

      Delete
    3. if you fuck boy of 20 something you go know wetin i dey talk. fuck guy of 40 plus or like 35 yrs , you go see say the prick different. e don firm and thick.

      Delete
  16. The fact that he said he wish to marry at 25 doesn't mean he will settle down at 25,he is a young boy.he has alot to learn,considering the way our country is its rare to find a man of that age get married forget about the fact that he has his business.the ball is in your court,only YOU know what you want.do what makes you smile everyday,cause life is too short to be sad and unhappy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Madam road no dey that relationship, waka pass now wey time Dey.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster age is nothing but mindset is everything,he acts mature and he is responsible like you said with a business, and also just as he has planned his marriage in 3 years time, anything can happen and he can even pop the question anytime based on feelings,if he could hide his age in fear of loosing you then am sure he is not ready to lose you...and if everyone is against the union because of your age and he does not mind then I will advise you stay with him,do not let go of this man and go out looking for a man older than you because you will keep looking for him in every man you meet henceforth,let love find a way and as long as he keeps you happy then stay happy with him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow...where have you been.
      Welcome back and do not disappear again.
      Me I cannot advice ssister at 26 to even bother thinking marriage to a 22yr old boy. Marriage stress and after childbirth will have her looking like his mum with time. Lets not talk about the and life's experience ish

      Delete
  19. Poster age is just a number. But he is still very young at age 22. Remember marriage is for the matured minds.

    ReplyDelete
  20. That guy is too young for you. Way too young. Not because of the four year gap, but the fact that he is 22. He is not ready for marriage in the next five years so before you be breaking and gumming back, just confront yourself with the truth and take your decision.

    ReplyDelete
  21. 22 never strong for bed o, he can't break ur bed self. Too young abeg..groom him till he's 25.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oshhey baddest bed breaker so he's too young to break bed abiiiiiii. Blackberry kenan

      Delete
    2. By "groom" you mean fuck him till his 25th birthday? Then when he graduates you think he wouldnt want a fresh course??
      Maybe he has this African-American 22 look, so he could even fool her easily.

      Delete
    3. Adele, I'm fine.

      Oxygen, that one fit follow sha, but she can groom in other ways, maybe a platonic friendship...n see if she can or cannot be with him , but 22 is damn too young.

      Delete
  22. Why not just enjoy this relationship.. If it works out,fine.if not gud.
    Just enjoy the love and attention u are getting.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Age is nothing but a number, they say. Marriage is more than age and lovey-dovey. Are you sure that you are really in love with this guy? How matured is this guy? Be truthful to yourself, if he isn't that buoyant ,will you consider a relationship of that magnitude with him?
    To me, a guy of his age is still too young for marriage. I won't allow my Boy get married at 25 sef.
    The ball is in your court but I would advice that you look elsewhere when it comes to marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Age is just a number to me.
    But again this boy isn't ready to settle down, at 22 he is still young, he might have conflicting feelings about how he wants his life to be,even at that 25 he might still not be ready. Again his family would never let it happen if they find out.
    So this is a dicey situation to be in. I suggest you be open like be friends with other eligible suitors, don't sleep with them o. Let's hope things will begin to unfold soon so you get your know where you stand.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Better open up to other guys and get married before you become a desperado!
    How can you be waiting for a 22year old boy to mature before you marry.. E get as e be oo.
    What if when he clocks 25 and realize that you're too mature for him!??
    Open up to other guys pls!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Why is it that when a young woman meets a young man. The only thing that occupies her mind is MARRIAGE. Is there no room again for friendship. Don't be in a haste baby girl. Calm down. As far as age is involved. Give it few months. The love will die naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  27. i had been with a guy i was 8 years older than, but he is so matured and controls me like he was way older than me and of course he was loaded. i fell in love with his maturity and confidence. Like Stella said if his family finds out that will be the end. well his family found out i was older and wahala started, that was the end of the relationship

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai... your makeup no help you, them catch you sharparly!

      Delete
  28. Are you sure he is 22, this one he looks older than 25.

    Just wondering what type of biz he does at that age
    That guy doesnt want to marry you, he told 3 yrs time so you can move on. He didnt propose how can you be sure that he will marry you in 2021

    ReplyDelete
  29. Plz stella dis s my situation now..except dat he s nt rich at least for npw nd there is tribal difference too..plz shld we tell our parents d truth or we shld just..i reqlly luv him..i ll b reading comments tnx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys don’t need to talk about the age thing to anybody, there is what we call privacy in a relationship

      Delete
  30. If u want to marry within the next 3-5years ,this guy is not the right guy unless if u want to catch some fun while waiting for the right guy. But age is not just a number.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This guy is not experienced yet. He might leave when he matures to know what he really wants. He's probably in love with you now because you are a like a mother figure to him.

    Is his mother still alive? If no, then he's seeing his mother in you.

    Anyways, what will be will be. You can keep him if he has a mature attitude and can take marital decisions on his own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai ure wicked! You come make things "worstest" for her.. calling her his mother! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
  32. 22 is too young pls. Dump him and move on

    ReplyDelete
  33. Age is NOT just a number please! A 22 year old male or female is a CHILD! Even if he was 25, he would still be really really young. He is 22, he thinks he knows it all that's why he cannot discern that it would not work out especially if both of you are having sex. Do what you want but he is a child and don't inundate him with any rubbish concerning marriage please. Carry your marriage self and go meet somebody who is ready. Because you all are desperate to marry and be in a relationship age is now a number. Even scientists assert that there is eveidence to show the brain is not fully mature until past 25. If he was 27 and you were 31, I would offer to plan your wedding and sponsor it to an extent. Please let that child grow. Date him if you want but don't bring your marriage desperation to his ear because what he would do is that he would want to please you and may succumb. Age is not just a number. That's what people who molest children say. Besides the relationship just started, I don't even know why you are discussing marriage. Let him be biko.

    ReplyDelete
  34. The real thing poster should be thinking about is, when the guy is ready to settle down would it be with you?
    You're ready for marriage. He's not. Please move on to someone else who's like-minded.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have boys and my first son 22yrs,I will never allow my son marry someone way older than because it happened to my only brother it didn't go well. You as a woman will hate yourself when later two of you are walking together and someone ask whether he is your younger brother. What am I women age faster than man

    ReplyDelete
  36. Like Stella said, leave. I almost felt you were telling my story as I read it. It will not work out. He will end up going for a younger girl after wasting your time. Mine was for 7years.i did not find out until later and when I did I could not. My dear in Nigeria AGE IS A LOT MORE THAN NUMBERS.

    ReplyDelete
  37. My dear poster, I beg you in God's name not to allow pressure and emotions ruin your future. Marriage is beyond love, ring, children. Age is not just a number my dear. If I had known sdk 11years ago, I wouldn't be tagged a witch nor saddled with my present predicament. Worse is "men or women from God" PROPHESYING "go ahead, he is the one"!
    I'm not totally against an older lady to a younger guy, but..... please weigh everything again.

    ReplyDelete
  38. lla: "I personally like to hang around older people cos of their vast well of Knowledge". lol. That is so funny. You should say older SMART people. Not all older people have a vast well of knowledge from my experience.

    ReplyDelete
  39. @Stella: "I personally like to hang around older people cos of their vast well of Knowledge". lol. That is so funny. You should say older SMART people. Not all older people have a vast well of knowledge from my experience.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I was 24. My wife was 3yrs older than me. We lied to both parents that we are mates by me reducing her age by 3yrs to my parents & she increasing mine by 3yrs to her parents. My parents refused cos I just graduated & hustling. Her parents refused cos I was too young with nothing to show that I can take care of a wife. In summary, we went to court & got married without their consent & started having babies having known each other & lived 2geda in d university till both parents accepted. It's been 22yrs now,we can't recall our real age (lol), we have 4kids, 2 are graduates & 2 are undergraduates. We still hold hands while walking down d street. We jog 2geda 3times a week. Her parents now love me like kilode(pepper don rest) & my parents love her(they don't have a choice) cos she's d pathway to reaching my heart. Age is just a number. U can make ur home become a reality of ur imagination. Just trust God & have genuine love for each other.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Trust me when I say age is nothing but a number...my HUSBAND did same to me he lied about his age cuz we were sooo in love I only found out when I saw his passport I was sooo mad at him...but then he asked me do I not treat you right and to be honest he has treated me right from day 1...so my dear let love lead...but make sure you both are on the same path...Goodluck....btw I’m 7 years older

    ReplyDelete
  42. Enter your comment...age is a number,but love is numberless

    ReplyDelete
  43. Nobody needs to know the age difference between you two! I keep on saying it we give out too much information about ourselves to others. As long as both families get to understand that you both are level headed, focused and in love, all will be well.

    Another thing I see is that you’ve already killed the relationship in your heart. Open your mind and close your eyes to the age factor.

    My only reservation is that within the next two to three years your priorities may differ and that may take a toll on your relationship. Map out plans for the future with him and if they don’t tally you both should go your separate ways.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I don’t know why I feel comfortable with matured guy, weather you act old or young I don’t care I only care about your maturity. If you are happy with him, why don’t you enjoy the relationship while it last. You are carrying marriage matter on your head when the guy has not said anything. Desperation is all I can see from your side, allow him to propose to you first before you start thinking. Is possible he is enjoying free and tight pussy from you.

    ReplyDelete

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