Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Saturday, December 22, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmmmm.......na wah!!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
GIRL FRIENDS DRAMATIC AND UNGRATEFUL FAMILY



Hello Stella ...


  Please right now i need your advice on these Because my girlfriend's grandma is making me go mad and I am just thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend because of her grandma. My girlfriend is one sweet loving girl that has seen and experienced a lot of life troubles for her Young age. 


Her mum died when she was just 12 and different men took advantage of her frailty and innocence and she started having sex at 13. Her grandma that she had to go stay with didn't care about her or how she fends for her self even at that young age. babe got pregnant at 16 and gave birth at 17 but her grandma still wanted her to bring money home even at that young age so babe became wild, smoked, partied but as fate would have it I met her last year. To be sincere when I met her and heard what people were saying about her and how wild she was and how reckless she had lived and how they know the number of men that has made love to her in that area I just wanted to make love to her also and leave her but after the first time we made Love I decided to remain friends with her because she was very sound and intelligent. 




As time went by and we became even closer, I then asked her to tell me her story and why she gave birth at that young age and She told me everything about her life with tears in her eyes and I felt for her and saw an innocent 21 year old girl that didn't love the life she was living but had to do it because she had no one to talk too or share her burden with. Stella we became close after that and after a few weeks we began to date irrespective of what I heard people tell me about her. I loved her daughter like she was mine, I loved her only brother that her mum left behind. I made sure she didn't lack a thing so she doesn't have to think of going back to the street. I put her on a weekly money of 7k plus close to 3k of stuffs I buy for her beautiful daughter that is just like my daughter now every week. 



She has never asked me for money that I haven't given to her even though she tries not to ask me all the time as she knows I try for her because I don't want to give her any reason to think about her former life. I have given her 10k on 3 occasion this year to make her hair, 5k on maybe 2 other occasions also to make her hair, I paid 25k for her younger brother to begin school this term as he didn't go to school all through last term, on her birthday I made sure she did a photo shoot that cost me 30k, i just bought her a wig for 17k that is in my house that I wanna give to her tomorrow for Xmas. 



I have given her money twice to get an expensive lace for a wedding party she wanted to go too, During her grandmas birthday I bought her a bag of rice and I try to go see the Grandma every month end with sometimes 4k or 5k until I stopped by September because I got to tired of her complaints and lack of appreciation. Stella I had to tell you all of this things I do for her not because I want an applause but because I believe a boyfriend no matter how little most spend for his babe and I also for you to see how much I love her and try for her even in my little way. This girl I have never told her to wash my clothes or wash the sheets, I don't like that as I do all those things my self even though my friends thinks I am mad for not making her wash my clothes. 



 There was a time my girlfriend's Aunt that lives with them got so sick and there wasn't money to treat her and babe told me I called my nurse to treat her and I paid 13k for that treatment, when this aunt of my girlfriend got better she didn't call to say thank you, same thing happened a month later that her grandma got sick I had to call my nurse and I paid another 10k and this time around the grandma got better and she didn't call to say thank. This useless grandma told my girlfriend I am not good enough for her that I don't give her enough money, that I don't have a car and what Is the 7k I give to her every week when she was making 30 every week before I met her.



 This grandma told my girlfriend that I can't marry her because I am not Rich enough. When babe told me all this she begged me never to leave her or break up with her because of her grandmas attitude or she would get so wild again and even more reckless than she was before I met her. I know I tame her and took many bad vices she once had away from her but I still give her the freedom to have fun. Stella no doubt I love this girl but I think her family don't appreciate me enough and they would push her to leave me when I get broke maybe tomorrow.




*This is all so messed up..I dont think love survives in this kind of environment and with this kind of mentality these people have.....I know you love her like you say but sometimes,love is not enough.
Continue to help her if you must but please find a drama free relationship.

45 comments:

  1. First of all she “didn’t start having sex at 13”, she was raped by adults who should know better.

    Oh boy, this story feels like you’re trying to fill a void and to be honest it is not your job. Only God can provide all the needs of one person. Your girlfriend seems to me like someone who doesn’t have control of her life and at 21 under sane conditions she still needs monitoring and mentoring but not this way when her care givers are trying to use to enrich themselves.

    You need to talk to her about this, perhaps, she hasn’t been telling them of your nice gestures apart from the monthly allowance. Maybe, she didn’t mention to her aunt that you paid the bill. You see there was no need for her to tell you what her grandma said. She is playing mind games and expects you to do more to meet those expectations. Babe, needs counseling and proper care from people who aren’t trying to make money off her or for a relationship. You didn’t mention anything about school or work? Does she do either? Why does she need to purchase an expensive lace to attend a wedding? I think staying friends would have been better for you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doppel God bless you oooo. I thought the same thing When he said she told him what her grandma said.
      The girl simply wants more money and thought saying that would make him buckle up, for am not even sure the grandma said such sef.
      If you really think you can help in your little way fix up something little for her according to your pocket. If she has her own business that would take off the burden of carrying such responsibilities of your neck.

      Delete
    2. I agree with you totally. Especially your 1st paragraph. Poster you girl needs a professional help.

      Delete
    3. Break up with her immediately as she doesn't love you. There was no need for her to tell you of what her grandmother said and that is if she really said it. Your GF is emotionally blackmailing you into given her more money.
      The reason those people did not call to thank you when they got better is because they were never sick. Your GF has been making up stories just to collect money from you.
      Your too kind and gentle for this kind of woman, move on and find someone that will look after your her. She doesn't deserve you.

      Delete
    4. I thought the exact same thing! She needs healing, and you’re not the one to give it to her. If she claims she would go back to her former lifestyle If you leave her, then she is not totally over that lifestyle. As a matter of fact, if the right ‘Client’ gives her a call she’d have a go at it. So please don’t put all your emotions in this, you can love her as a brother or friend for now. Mentor her through her self - discovery.

      I agree with Doppelgänger, she was raped at that young age. Whether she knows this or not, it has greatly affected her psychologically. How close are you to Christ ? And how close can you guide he left to His love?

      Also, she needs to be self- sufficient and making her own money. It would take ALOT of work for someone who is used to selling her body for handouts to try to make her own legit money, but if you truly love this woman like you say you do, even if you love her like a brother please encourage her to develop herself. That way, even if you both eventually don’t work out, you would have made a diffence in the direction of her life, and you would forever be blessed for that!

      Delete
    5. E be like say to catch Aids dey hungry that girl for her to make such statement.
      Let her learn handiwork, and I guess they are using her to make money. She needs counselling, deliverance and Jesus.

      Delete
  2. Stay with her. Why leave her dayse if her family. Where will u find the perfect family hian

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Singing with Rihanna 🎤We found love in a hopeless place🎶... Guy you are like an angel to the girl, kind of like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, only you are not as rich. This kind of relationship is never easy because it can be very strenous. You appear to be feeling the strain already, and I think there is more to come. It is never healthy for only one person to contribute most to a relationship. Later your glass will be empty, then what will you do? Do you really know this lady aside from what she told you? Why are you truly attracted to her, eg her beauty or you feel it would be easier for her to be grateful to you and remain loyal? Asking these questions and more is vital to the survival of your relationship.

      Your girl will not make a good partner unless she has been completely rehabilitated. And she must do so willingly, as she is used to a certain kind of life. She needs physical, mental and spiritual rehabilitation. I don't have energy to type much more, but consider psychological, spiritual and medical counselling for you both. For your relationship to survive you both have to be committed to each other's growth and wellbeing. She has to grow beyond the point of depending on you for everything, and seeing life as a trade by barter affair. Her self esteem and sense of worth needs to be worked on. Also her acquired values have to be let go for values that matter, eg her moral and spiritual values. Also what is your own growth in these areas and improving yourself financially too? Is she also meeting your needs as an individual, and are you truly meeting hers? It may surprise you that you don't even know what she really wants in a man.

      Anyway, not to scare you. I think you have tried so far, but more work dey for you because your case na Obonge 🙌 and it will require her cooperation. You can't do it alone. Think deeply and pray, if you can't carry the load, kindly withdraw. God is your strength poster.

      Delete
  3. So you wanted to make love to her and leave. But when you did it, you decided to stay! Choi. Over to your story, poster this is really confusing. I think you need a break for now and hustle more. Spend your money wisely my dear cos even if you keep on spending on her money, her grandma and aunt will still not appreciate you. Bdw, is she working? What is she doing with all these money you're sending her? Why not set up a small scale business for her so she won't be idle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @modella even if he set up a biz for her, the question is: will she stay? It's very difficult for her to leave that street life o. She still wanna go back to street. Poster pls give yourself a break

      Delete
  4. This is deep. A man like you is rear. I will advice you to stop dating her and just be her friend. Still help her to stay on the right track, as a friend. I am not comfortable with the fact that she stopped being wild because of you, not because she chose to. Or better still, can you help her move out of that environment? The grandma will ruin her and her child if care is not taken. Dont thing of marriage yet, please, to avoid spiritual attack from her grandma. She is old enough to be in charge of her life. She should get a job and move out of her grandmother's place. If she doesn't move out, stay away from her family. They can harm you.

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  5. This one is hard o but if you love her then marry her when you are ready and you guys move VERY VERY far away from that toxic environment

    ReplyDelete
  6. How long would you continue like this, marriage hasn't come and you are carrying so much responsibility ungrateful grandma and aunty.My advise for you is to let her go.

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  7. Stella, I disagree with your advice. We don't get to choose our family but we can choose to leave them especially where they are evil. Poster God sent you to rescue this his lost daughter. He will not let you down. Marry her if you truly love her and you both turn your back on the evil grandma and aunt.

    ReplyDelete
  8. She is just playing you,otherwise why will she be bad mouthing her grandma to you. She may not even tell them that you are the one that foot their hospital bills. Calm down first and observe her. She is used to living in a certain standard because of the money she makes from prostitution and felt she is lagging behind hence the story she is feeding you with. You can tell her next time she brings up this story that she can live her life the way she likes and that you are not holding her. Then watch her from there,if she is genuine,you will know. Think with your brain and not your heart.

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  9. Poster if you can get her an apartment far from her grandma please do so and move on with her. If she decided to listen to her family and dump you, don’t worry God will console you someday with a better woman. Her grandma is an ungrateful person, keep in talking to your girl the choice is hers to make best decisions.

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  10. I love her and God knows I try to do the lil I can for her, but I am losing interest in this relationship but I am just scared for her future and her beautiful innocent daughter if I leave her as there would be no one to tame her again. I won't give her anything for Xmas apart from the wig so I see her attitude towards me. God bless you all for your advice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Young man, move on and stop being a lover boy before you lose yourself.
      Just a girlfriend, you're financing the whole family, are you alright at all?
      Dump her now or watch them making a mess of your life.

      Delete
  11. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars22 December 2018 at 15:39

    Sdk, there are people who have been helped by good samaritans like this man. No need to write her off because of her ungrateful relatives. The problem is with the grandma and Aunt, otherwise they are good.

    Poster, you and the babe have got to draw boundaries with her relatives if you want to go far with this girl and damn the relatives.

    The girl in question seems ready for a clean life. All she needs is encouragement. She is just a victim of circumstance. And she has terrible relatives.

    ReplyDelete
  12. She doesn't work, she learnt a lil bit of hairdressing and I told her to go get a place I would pay for so she master's this trade very well instead of just been at home all day long but she doesn't even ask me about it .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is lazy and that’s because she has relatives who encourage her to live off men. Tell her you want to set up a salon for her and ask her to write you a list of things she needs with price in two weeks. If she doesn’t come up with anything or mention it, there you have your answer. She is looking for a money well.

      Delete
    2. Doppelganger, 100 likes for this. If she doesn't give you that list, know that she is looking for easy money. Such girl will show you her true colour after marriage. Especially when the money stops coming.

      Delete
    3. It could also be she doesn't like hairdressing. What really interests her? Does she even know?

      Delete
    4. She still wanna go back to the street. She doesn't believe in hard work. She is lazy and want easy money. Poster you've tried your best. This is the time for you to take a walk and focus on your life. You can still tame her from afar but first, build yourself up first and focus on your own hustle for now. She is a distraction pls

      Delete
    5. You are her mugu simple. If she's really serious she will keep reminding you of it.

      She,her grandma and aunt are same.

      Delete
    6. Come on bro it doesn't have to be with insult. But Thanks for the advice though, naija girls have made love so so impossible

      Delete
  13. This marriage or relationship is dead on arrival..it seems you are doing it out of pity.very soon your eyes go clear.bro,you dont love this girl.trust me you just want to fill a void in your life too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. She should be willing to move out of that toxic environment for your relationship to work, stop entertaining her grandma's excesses and start doing something.
    You didn't mention if she works or goes to school. She needs to do any of them and please don't leave her, she knows her weakness & knows you are her anchor. You've said she's been good ever since you guys have been together, don't abandon her because of her family.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I see most peoplw say "poster marry her,God sent you to her,bla bla bla" my question is this..poster,are you a child of God?did you seek for Gods guidiance and direction? If no,then poster just do your good and move on.you cant fix this if both of you are not children of God and God did not ordain you for her.i feel when the right person for her comes..she herself will know and there wouldnt be much stress.such peoplw hardly change..it takes the grace,power,and mercy from God to change such people.just do your good for her...but marriage or relationship?ask for Gods wisdom if truly u are for her..if not,na frustration you go dhey all thru.

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    Replies
    1. Poster hand sef no pure. God wasnt involved from the start based on his intent.
      Read well again you will see how he got himself entangled in the situation to begin with. He was sex-driven like all those guys who wants to chop and clean mouth but as God would have it he got stuck.
      If the lady was appreciative it would have been understandable but no she is playing on his intelligence by using her grandma's name has a front by stylishly telling him to increase her salary, can't you see is the ungrateful one here or do you think anyone in their right senses in a relationship would tell you all the bad things their family said of you, to what end?.
      A serious lady would have suggested he helped out with one business or the other to support herself but she isn't interested even after he suggested it she shoved it aside.
      Someone up there said Stella advice isn't fair. But she gave him a sisterly advice if we were to be honest for no one here would encourage their brothers to go on with a relationship like that where he is been frustrated and the lady isn't really helping herself. She could have saved something out of the money he's been spending on her to learn a trade but no he keeps abetting her extravagant lifestyle.

      Delete
  16. Encourage her to learn a skill and do a small business if you can financially carry it.

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  17. I think you are getting too carried away with this lady, if she truly wants a better life, she would ask for your help to get herself empowered. What you feel for her may just be pity not love. And why do you have to encourage her to live a luxurious life when she doesn't have a source of income. Stop sleeping with her and help make something good of her life and see if she truly desires to live a decent life. For now I think you are just her faithful customer with whom she has decided to stick until things change either for good or for bad

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear Poster, you are a quite responsible, sensible man and I congratulate you for this. I believe sometimes we are led to meet people to add value to their lives, however one needs to be careful not to play rescuer/messiah. What you do for that lady is great, it restores hope in love and the beauty of humanity.

    Done with the sweet-talking, time for you to hear the truth. If you were my brother, I would tied you rope and beaten sense into your head. It is disheartening to find decent guys with promise, diving headlong into toxic situations.
    You are a 'giving person' that's fantastic! But you are falling into the problem many givers enter... FAILING TO CHECK what is being given and received in return.

    You listed many beautiful things you have done for her, how is she meeting you half way? Of course, she is broke and not really empowered to give you anything. However, what changes is she making to her life independent of you? She stopped doing men because you give her money not because of an epiphany she had to hustle legit and better her life. She sits pretty collecting money for wig, lace, photoshoots instead of diverting those funds to acquire skills,move away from her toxic grandma, be a shiny example to her kid and add value to herself. You think this is a reasonable woman worth your time?

    This woman and her family is a 'land' that can't be carried. Love is not ripping yourself off and sacrificing your dreams and future plans to rescue a perfectly sane, fit and breathing person. This is pure hard labour. This nonsense will continue and you will be distracted, stuck in a little world where you are patching her life, pleasing ingrates, getting married, having kids till you raise up your head and realize 'the real world' has left you behind.

    Don't willingly jump into bad debt, this 'investment' is not promising even in the short term. While you are helping, don't be dragged down. Do some checks now, love isn't enough ... Values, compatibility are bigger and more stable concepts.

    I am not saying dump her, you see intelligence in her and she didn't create the circumstances she grew up with. I am suggesting that you change strategies, change the course of this relationship if you see a future with her.

    She needs to believe in herself and capabilities enough to strive for education and financial empowerment. Help her if you can. Determine if she is firm enough to distance herself from her grandma and put herself first. Be sincere to yourself, what is her mindset about prostitution currently? Does she find it repulsive now or the money you give is just a reprieve till it gets tough. Quit having sex with her too, it's distracting and gives her a lazy bargain for relationships.
    Please do the needed self-evaluation, if it's worth it, play your part with sense. If it's not it, pack your Kaya and go. Love will always come, don't go and self destruct because of feelings, good sex and pity. Many who have walked that road are trapped in a destination of regret. Pray for direction too. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  19. If you love this girl like you claim, then marry her; period. If you leave her, what's different between you and the men that took advantage of her innocence?
    You do not need the grandma's approval to marry her, all you need is someone, an elderly male in their family to receive you and her dowry.
    But please, stop this fornication and think clear enough to plan marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  20. First people don't change cos of love.change is personal decisions like between someone and God.and that gakbhas not changed.prostitution goes with a lot of spirit.can you handle that too.let her first be born again

    ReplyDelete
  21. Elope. Lol. Simple. Elope with your girl and her child. Cut pff for a while and let her get a job or learn a trade. You no fit carry this burden alone oh.

    Sorry, guy.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Stella no swallow my comment oo...
    Poster are you under a spell to know that you are being used? No grandma was sick,she is using u as money bag...That babe might still be into her previous life secretly since she didn't agree to head dressing.Runs girls hardly look for a legit job or trade to learn..she used style to let you know you ain't meeting up with her previous pay.
    Pls find another girl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, I hope this guy check himself and move on fast. He's just the pay master in the relationship.

      Delete
  23. I don't think that your girl is ready to leave the streets. You can let her be but gradually and let that be after you let her know how you feel about her family. You can set up a small business for her if you really care about her. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The best and greatest gift you can give her is psychological help. If the mind doesn't change, nothing else will. Start with the mind. Get the help of a professional. Stay safe!

    ReplyDelete
  25. King, break up with that girl now and move on, don't wait for too long, do it tomorrow.


    Im sure you will not do it but that's the best thing for you.
    You will fall down, while trying to hold her to stand up.
    I warn you.

    ReplyDelete

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