Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: First Date Brouhaha...

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Thursday, January 31, 2019

First Date Brouhaha...

This post is for Ladies and Gentlemen....This may have happened to you before or about to happen...............Lets discuss it...











I used to be the 'Order anything I want''Kinda person but living abroad changed my thinking...The first time i watched a couple sitting near me and my hubby in a very expensive Restaurant,I noticed they were a new couple and she had only asked for a glass of wine and took a long time ordering,when her order came,it was not much but when they asked for the Bill,she asked to pay for hers and i was shocked and kept looking at the guy to see if he would say No,he didn't and they both paid and left kissing...

I saw it happen lots of times and i Investigated it and found out that No Lady will go out with you without having her own money or card to pay for what she wants,so they buy what they can afford and stick to their wallet size.....

Someone i know who just relocated told me he took a German babe out on a date and he avoided the expensive stuff but she ordered for it,he said he could not concentrate because he didn't have enough money to cover her order but lo and behold she asked to pay for her Bill and he pretended to be upset about it...After that day,she refused to go on another date with him and he wanted me to tell him what he had done wrong...I told him!!!!

If you have your own money,buy what you want and pay for it,no matter what he says...If you are broke and Jobless then I guess it would be on point to ask him what his budget for the Dinner is,no time to shame oh.........These are my view.

What is yours!!!

100 comments:

  1. Well, we been dating for 7 months and our official date happened 2 months after we met. He placed his order(ssssss) I ordered for grilled chicken and fries with soda on the rocks. Wanted something i could nibble on while paying attention and being observant πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ended up sharing mine with him for some funny reason. He did foot the bill, he had already mentioned it earlier tho. On the 2nd date, I did the footing and still ended up not eating mine for some annoying reason.

    I always have my debit cards and little cash on me just in case things go side ways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never go out on date if I have no money on me. Back in Nigeria, my cousin's boyfriend took her and my sister to a restaurantfor dinner and after eating, his money was not enough so my sister paid up and when she came home, she told us what happened and since then I make sure to go on a date with enough money. The typical Nigerian man will like to pay but I don't mind going half way and sometimes I can ask a guy out for dinner. I do that with my bf once in a while.
      I don't think there is much to it once both are earners.

      Delete
    2. It’s in USA that I first noticed that paying for your own meal. This is why some apps like Venmo are making money.

      The way things are in naija, I don’t even expect a girl to pay if we go out but outside naija, it’s a norm. That’s why guys in naija are emotionless about sex. Just as you feel entitled to their money, they feel if they have sex and go their way, you shouldn’t be angry because they paid/compensated.

      Ladies that feel a guy should pay, just imagine that Adenuga’s son invited you out to dinner. Will you go there and start ordering anyhow? You’d want to show you have manners but you don’t think you should for a possible husband or a possible lifetime friend. He also knows you are taking advantage and he wants to take advantage right back. It’s a circle.

      How will someone who didn’t pay for your food suddenly feel like he is entitled to your body or even disrespect you. In my experience, women’s bills are almost always higher than men’s during a date so that also gives him a mental note

      Delete
    3. I am not a hungry person for starters so I can't possibly order for things that'd have my partner raising an eyebrow.

      But I'd definitely expect you to foot the bill and if I want an extra or a take away, I must pay for it.

      I can't be insulted for things I know I can afford reason I overlook the hassles surrounding weeding food oo.... The insult goes straight to my bone marrow especially if I spent a lot to attend the wedding reason I try to eat, no matter how little before stepping out of my house.

      Delete
    4. Thank you ooo Ace ...See what our sisters are spewing out.Some are even happy that a guy spent 50k on a date,what kind of respect will that person give you ..
      Is it written in any Constitution or book of law that guys must pay on a date?.No wonder we have so many bewildered Chronicles.

      Nigerians are not d set of people going on a date in d world. ..our girls need to change their mentalities

      Delete
    5. I will order as I like but also have my own money in cash form (not card because Nigeria pos and stories)
      I would never go out and split the bill with my date (never) you brought me out my company is what you are paying for . I did not beg you to be unoccupied ao don’t enjoy my company and except I pay.

      Maybe after long term dating I can take my boyf out and pay but till then OYO! you pay for every damn I eat. (I don’t even bother looking when the bill comes) should you decide to act funny (this has never happened to me and never will ( I don’t pay crazy men any attention) i’ll Pay mine, finish the water and walk away. Byeeee

      Delete
  2. I eat very well before going on dates,if i take anything atall it would be a bottle of drink wish i can comfortably afford no matter how expensive the restaurant is, just incase the guy is a mofo there wont be stories that touch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See as una just dey tell white lies. Naija girl take "a bottle of drink" on first date?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous you must be kidding me right? You must have been coming across ebinas.

      Delete
    3. And wetin be "ebinas?"

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    4. I never chop babes

      Delete
  3. Uh! dutch can never work here! that's how I invited one girl to come and have pasta with me (Spaghetti..in case some of una loss) only for he to say she wants to order three more for take away!... I say no wahala, u work in a Bank na u are a big girl! Ikwakwskwakwawakwa!! after her plate with drinks and my drink, the bar tender said should I add all together, I said no Man! just her first order and mine!.... excise ma! am not to feed ur Family dinner! it was a dinner for me and u! Ikwakwakwakwa! she didn't give me good night peck sha! and she had big bwest sha!

    Kelvin DAT Edo Boi (Stellz Cousin)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahshshshshshshsssaaaaaaa which kind laff be this? I no fit laff finish

      Delete
    2. Na this one yorubas refer to as Ebina.

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

      Delete
    4. Lobatan...Awoof things. gagagagaga

      Delete
    5. Lemme follow una laugh yayayayagsyayaaaaagayaaΓ 

      Delete
    6. Kevin, you be madt boy aswear. Ayaf laff taya πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

      Delete
  4. I never ready to pay my bills on a date with a guy, saam saam. E no work for me. My sister prefers each person pays their own bills if we go on a date.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If you invite me on a date, I will hold my own money or ATM card. I don't believe in chopping the guy money. I don't have such mind. I will take what I can finish an won't order for something to expensive

    ReplyDelete
  6. I always have my credit card with me It's important.
    One time I went on an evening date with this guy and forgot my purse at home, I begged my friend to meet me up with it so I can order what I like she brought it and I ordered to my taste. I can't shout.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Na u say make we go for date, not my idea so be responsible & pay for us. If i shud pay, thats d end. Its ur date not my date abi wetin dem dey call am

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na so your blood dey hot? If you pay thats the end? You will miss people that will do things bigger than date for you if you call people shot this way.

      Delete
    2. Don't mind them. Those ones carrying purse incase must've bn meeting idiots.

      Delete
    3. I'll be on my own,you ask for a date and you expect me to pay bills? Unku,iz like your head is paining you.

      Delete
    4. hahahaahahh,i just learnt another one,so when a guy fixes a date,it is his date?

      Delete
    5. @anony 14:56...that is slave mentality...is relationship meant for one person...dating is an opportunity for u to meet,watch and ask relevant questions where necessary.

      U are not doing anybody any favour by falling in love, married or being in relationship.So,drop dt notion..u are not paying for his meal,u are paying for wat u will eat or ate.

      Delete
    6. His head must really be paining him ooo,I stayed on my own jejely.
      Only if I suggest it then I can hold vex money apart from that you will pay ooo

      Delete
    7. @Shantelle,so,u are now a celebrity in ur supposed relationship and u must be compensated for it via food.
      D guy will pick u up,pay for d engagement and drop u off, then ask urself,wat are u bringing to d table.You have awkward mentality...
      It is like "date" means different thing for u ladies here
      It is not d right of any guy to pay for wateva u consumed on a date,it is ur right,it is not a party, celebration nor luncheon...it is a form of meeting to xray interest..u might not even take anything.....Reading that some girls even go on a date and ordered for their friends and family is gross and pure evil...It seems most of u here are materialistic and vain.

      Delete
    8. You that is not materialistic and vain but looking for what I will bring to your phucking dirrrty shaky 'table on a first date'.
      Did i hear someone scream gold diggggerrrrr! Ohon!

      Delete
    9. Those of you that wants to be paying for dates,don't stop oh! Continue!! If you end up with men with such mentality,i can only but pity you! You won't only pay for dates,you will end up paying for childrens clothing,fees,nannys?,electricity bill,car maintainance and more! Na bills go dey rush you! As the miss independent that you is. Don't just disturb this blog with your chronicles.

      Anon on my comment,aka the scruffy table maker,aka the carpenter....screw you!!

      Delete
    10. @Shantelle,ur rant is meaningless...u have no idea what a date is .In d US,dating starts from Prom,which is in d teenage years.
      Stop fooling urself,u are a date,i don't know where d idea of "his own date" is coming.He is inviting you to know you better and start a relationship,pls,where did d idea of taking bills come from.Some people didn't even take anything on their date and some even chose a park or garden.i know of someone dt cut off a guy cos he couldn't handle cutlery.Those are essence of a date, there so many things u look out for..There are some business people that will invite u to a game of golf,it is to know ur patience and honesty.Do u expect them to pay for ur entrance fees and participating.Dear,I already got that covered via expense
      Can't believe I am reading ds and it is annoying,dt it is d responsibility of a guy and a must to pay being on a date..
      On paying forchildren school fees, clothing etc..I will answer u wt ds illustration....since u have been attending a wedding,have u ever seen where d pastors will d bride to stand behind d groom. They always stand side by side and it is only a dead and irresponsible being dt doesn't have a contribution to make in a home,no matter how small...

      I don't care who pays but I am totally against d idea of ,it is d duty of d guy to pay on a date,it is not a bride price.

      Delete
    11. I said what i said!
      Wailing wailers,you can keep going on and on about my comment. You never chee chom chin! Awon boda ode!

      Delete
    12. awwww.
      shantelle, youre so unwillig to learn.
      How belligerent and closed minded can one be ?
      i really feel for you o

      Delete
    13. The irony of it is people like shantelle end up jamming guys who pretend to spend on them during dating days and zip up afterwards. Hungry girls.

      Delete
  8. I think its ideal to be moderate considering that most of us naija babes like free food. Little wonder we dodge asking to take a guy out. Who says itust be the guy, yet we want equality but not in responsibility. I naturally mind my business, if you take me out today, the next time I always make it my duty to. Its no big deal. Because of paying of bills naija ladies, avoid that outing talk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sincerely shocked reading some comments..Kind of surprised seeing what I am reading...Girls still believe guys need to pay for a date....na was
      Being on a date is not a birthday,house warming nor naming ceremony...It is an avenue for us to meet so,u come wt an open mind, anything can happen...

      No wonder I read some Chronicles and wondered why..

      Delete
  9. I order anything I want, but i dey ask first ooo. Like baby can I order this? I never leave my house without vex money anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Iv never gone on a date and paid before and I will never. You asked me out,i didn't ask you out.
    But I do check prices and order reasonably priced things. I just started dating someone and on first date I couldn't even decide,just told him order for me.
    So he said let's have their tandori chicken and fries. The waitor then told us why not go for whole chicken and split it, will be cheaper. We said fine.
    We both couldn't even finish it and d rest was packed as take-away.
    Ladies when a guy takes you out always don't show yourself as a hungry person. Requesting and requesting from a first date is a big turn off for some men. They might have the money yes. But it can present you in a bad light.
    I can never pay though. Also set it out from the onset and let the guy know it is his responsibility to take care of you. It starts from him paying the bill.I didn't say taking care of by asking for money immediately o. But allow him to play that manly role from the start.
    This one doesn't come visit me without bringing something along. He offers to do stuff for me without me even requesting. I don't do Miss Independent biko. If not you will also be an independent wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. From miss independent girlfriend to Mrs independent wife.

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    2. And after all you have typed, you will be claiming equality.

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    3. Obviously she wont, she has taken her role as the guys helper and home maker, rather than an equal, this is good as long as its your wish in life, no societal pressureπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
  11. If a guy invite me for a date, it's his bill but I will not be stupid placeing orders for my village people.

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  12. ehn, if i invite u for a date the bill is mine but if u carry ur kukere legs invite me for a date and expect me to pay then u go see gobe, i will pay my bill and leave u there. inless you forgot ur wallet and even in such situation i gats invite my village people to access whether na true or lie sef *shines teeth* i always always go on a date with my debit card and enough cash to avoid washing of plate after a very nice meal. beside what in heavens name will i eat in a restuarant wey person no fit pay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You is very funny😁😁😁😁

      Delete
  13. I don't pay on date, i have never done it and never will.

    You invited me over to dinner, while i was on my own jeje, minding my business,so you sort out the bills. If I asked you on a date then I will gladly pay for that is different.

    I also eat whatever i want, because if i was looking malnourished am sure i wouldn't have caught your eyesπŸ˜‹. So you already know what you are getting yourself into by asking a lady like me out. You haven't been the one feeding me all my life, so one day meal should be no problem for you. However I do have my wallet and my card with me not because am going out with you but because I always do.

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  14. Oh some naija babes(even those with good work and head)on dates are like this is my opportunity to shine, they will make orders like they want to appease the gods,yet they chant equality. I 'laughted'. Honestly I have gone on some ridiculous date but I just MAN up and do the needful, I pay and encourage my dates to order whatever they feel like having on dates but of course some dates ended on the first date.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚can imagine you drinking can water while you try to man up

      Delete
    2. I do take my sugar out for dinner, shopping, outing.. It depends on what he did that is making me happy at the moment... But if u invite me out and expect me to pay??u go wash plate tireπŸ˜‚...although I'm always with my vex money.

      Delete
  15. Lols...this reminds me of someone I met online, was chatting and cool with the chats but she insisted she wanted us to meet, after much pressure, I accepted and told her where I wanted us to sit out, babe begged me to choose Ikeja shopping mall, I had my reasons for my choice of meeting point cause I know no matter what, we can't spend more than 5k there cause I was actually 'loaded' and really not into her... I told her my reasons but she assured me not to be worried about the money, I accepted after her convictions but when we got into one of the restaurants in ShopRite....coman see how the lady dey order things, for my mind I think say she go support, but when they calculate our bills she come trowey face like pesin wey wan shit...Omo, I paid and quickly finished my food, next thing I told her that I was leaving for a meeting, she was like 'ah, so soon? Are you not enjoying this place'?

    On top my lass card? Enjoyment kee you there!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁enjoyment kee u there...

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    2. She used you for dinner lolxx bad shild

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    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah... You is wicked

      Delete
  16. Well, I believe the guy should pay for the bills if he was the one that asked for a date and as a lady, don't over do it. A lady can also ask a guy for a date and let him know the bill is on her. It can work either ways but the whole idea is that non of them should over do it to avoid stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right cynthia.

      Btw,those girls that overdo it belong to a particular age group. If you check well,you'll notice they are mostly students. It's not really easy with them. So guy man should just see it like he's doing charity. Hahahahaha....

      My opinion oh# No one should pollute here!

      Delete
  17. If the bill is too much I'm ready to drop something coz I always make sure I have cash with me.

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  18. I order for anything I want so long as it is something I can pay for so that if guyman tries to form vex I can easily pay.I always go with my own money to avoid washing plate if the guy disappoints.While in school, I and a friend of mine were called to join another friend on a first date that was meant for her and the new guy. We ordered stuff without knowing that the guy was angry,he excused himself finally to use the restroom and absconded.We sha paid through our noses and since then I learnt my lessons:always have money with you and order for what you can pay for just incase

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  19. Im my own opinion, an average Naija guy would not allow you pay the bills on a date, first or not. I have never had a date that the guy allowed me pay for though. It's always "order anything you like on the menu" at times they even choose the expensive one for me. I have had a date with a guy and God knows I was not in the mood to eat anything that day. I just wanted water. So getting to the counter I didn't want to look holy holy so i ordered for cake and a bottle of fanta. He was like that's all, I said yes. He asked why and I said am okay with it.
    He then told the guy to give me two more cakes, chicken pie, grilled chicken, doughnut, sausage and two more drinks. I was so surprised and before I could say anything he said "i know you can't finish it before we leave, take it home".

    ReplyDelete
  20. Guys nowadays are looking for a helping partner...not a dependent. If your wahala pass my own, aunty, carry your wahala and go. It's not a must that we are meant for eachother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must be broke

      Delete
    2. Dear Anon , but Emmanuel is right, men this days are looking for helpmate.
      Its so rare to see a man marrying a lady with no job or shop.

      Delete
    3. Broke ass sighted πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘†.
      But nna wan fuck at will.

      Delete
    4. Lol. I'm not as rich as I would have wanted but I'm definitely not broke. I've never liked ppl that are dependent or consider themselves entitled to someone else's property.

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    5. Anon 16:11 u must be swimming in an ocean of money. Stupid parasitic leech, don't go look for how to make your own money, be there looking for a man who'll pay your bills.

      Delete
  21. The person that ask for the date should be the one to foot the bill

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  22. Me I don't feel comfortable eating in the presence of someone am just meeting for the first time. I prefer take home

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    Replies
    1. So you're comfortable packing the food to your house!? Nawa

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    2. Then why did you accept to go on the date in the first place???

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    3. Characteristics of an ebina. You are a real suffer head.

      Delete
  23. The only person I can go on a date and pay the bill is my husband, I take him out whenever his in Nigeria and he takes me out too. Any day I invite him, then the bill is on me, though he pays smts. The last buffet we went to with my sis and bro-in-law, I paid and we had fun. I earn well and since I don't contribute much to the house (as hubby believes I am poorly paid hahaahahhaahah) I take him out to make up. But when I was single, U take me out, you pay the bills, my UNIPORT days, I take and go home for friends and family lol.

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  24. Stella that one wey you yarn up there na oyinbo o
    The Pharisee them don dey talk like typewriter

    I remember when we been dey school. If you come invite one Naija girl for date,
    na entourage of her room mates and course mates you go feed. The man na ATM, make una no forget o
    One man like that pay bill of 50k finish come offload the girl osiso. The babe them roomies collect
    take away wey included roast chicken and beef wey go last for a week.

    Make them just dey yarn like say them don change come be Oyinbo.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ha!na me be the mama na abj that year! Abuja men like ass na, they will see you and ask you to a date after chatting a while..trust me to arrive with my entourage after chopping he will give us thanks for coming at least 50k.. I did this a lot but I've repented sha😁

    ReplyDelete
  26. First date and after making an order, I made sure she made hers and the next thing I heard was she wants to take the largest bowl of ice cream, I told her I can’t afford it even though I can,that really pissed me off.
    The next day she called that she saw a dress online she wants to buy but she will be glad if I can buy it for her, omg I barely know you girl and you want to turn me to an ATM, that was the last time she heard from me, I blocked her till today and I know she will read it here.

    Girl you left a very bad impression of you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I hate going on dates in public,dunno, let's go to your house for d date, Cook me a meal lemme sit on d floor n eat with my hands..I no dey look ur face..you don't have a crib? Well, make plan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Realness no go kee you lolxxx

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    2. You mean you prefer Netflix and chill. Hmmmm.

      Delete
  28. A friend of mine came visiting and went out to go see a guy, guess what she came in with? 4 packs of food with 4 full chicken and four big bowls of icecream and four bottles of coke

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm a months groceries

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    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ I’ve truly seen it all

      Ivannah

      Delete
  29. 'very expensive' not necessary you mention. You brag too much.

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  30. I was on my way to a restaurant for dinner when Mr. man called and invited himself. We met up and when it was time to order, Oga sent the waitress away and then informed me that he did not come with any money. Anyone that knows me will attest to the fact that if I invite you out, It will be my treat; but since this was my first date with this man, albeit he invited himself, I felt that it would have been appropriate for him to inform me about his financial capability. I told him that it was okay, I would take care of it. To cut the story short, Mr. man ordered 3 plates of food and 4 bottles of big Heineken. I kept on wondering where he was going to put all the food because he was very skinny. He finished everything and requested for an extra plate of whole grilled tilapia fish as takeaway. He said thank you and then proceeded to open his mouth and request for a kiss, while asking me when he could see me again.

    To say that I was appalled by this act is an understatement. I have heard people make remarks about such incidents especially with girls who bring thousands of friends along to dates and proceed to order the entire restaurant; but I was worried because this was not just anyone; he was a man whom I thought was worthy enough to go on a date with. I am intelligent, responsible for my family, manage an organization, own my house, receive a six figure salary and I drive a good car. To crown it all, I don’t owe anyone money, I have some savings in the bank, own two country homes in Nigerian and I am beautiful.

    Although I am an American, my parents are originally from Nigeria. They raised me to be self-sufficient and while I do not front being Ms. independent, I did not have any issue with paying the bill. I just could not understand why “anyone” would be aware of someone’s plan for the evening, adamantly invite himself thereby intruding on her “alone time” and proceed to devour an entire kitchen of food in America. How hungry can you be that you cannot respect yourself?

    After this incident, I thought maybe my perception was a bit harsh, I did not know his story and I hoped that may be the previous experience would turn out to be an outlier if I got to know him better. It turned out that I was wrong, because after extending an invitation to my house for a home cooked meal, he spent the entire time ogling at me and everything in my dining area and visitors lounge. I said to myself “ he gats to go…boy gats to go”. This is America; I cannot kill myself over the hope that I will find someone who shares the same culture and values with my parents and I. It is not by force and….I am still living happily ever after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CONFIRM EBINA..WHAT A LEECH

      Delete
    2. Lol...thank God you let him go

      Delete
  31. I went on a first date with this guy, we actually bought soft drinks and snacks and went to his house to watch peppermint, he was all lovey dovey,even told me he will marry me and stuff, asked if Easter was too early to come pay bride price I said yes, he wanted us to make out and I refused and then told him I don't have sexs in relationships as I have never done that. He was surprised and told me he has fallen in love with me but since I left that day he has been cold towards me , he doesn't call and when I call he won't pick or return the call . what could be wrong ? and to think that I have started liking him .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sugar coated words,please face front.He wanted to play you

      Delete
    2. Simple. All guyman wants is punanni. Your play...

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    3. He just wants the cookie. The marriage talk was just to gain easy access.

      Delete
  32. I don't date. Waste of money and time. My Vaseline is always warm and ready. Account balance is healthy.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I don’t go on dates if/when I’m broke.. And if the guy keeps insisting, I tell him straight up that I’m broke so if he’s inviting me out, I will take what I want as I would if I were the one buying without holding back. Most guys appreciate the heads up and would gladly tell you if they’d be up to it or reschedule for when you come out of the brokenness. If you reschedule, I no de pick your calls again be that. Ya freaking cheap!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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