Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative -UPDATE

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Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative -UPDATE

Na wah oh!!!







UPDATE


I'm the chronicle poster that posted that her hubby said I should ask my parents for assistance but I refused. Well, this is the update.


We had an issue and I told him my mind. I told him my pain and anger and he asked for a divorce. Right now, we are separated and I'm not bothered. Nothing to loose.




*What exactly did you say that made him ask for a Divorce?You guys are separated and not bothered?I guess it was all about Money then...Stories like this wil discourage more Sisters from helping out their husbands in time of need.....I think you should have helped him but i found it really shameful that he sent you to ask your parent for money.....
All the best to you both!!!

162 comments:

  1. Just like that! Why was he so quick to ask for a divorce because of this issue?

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    Replies
    1. Do u know the things she must have told him that got him angered? This woman never loved her husband in d first place..She mentioned about different tribes in her earlier post..All she care about is d guy leaving her tomorrow..Its better d marriage packs up so the guy can marry someone that truly loves him..


      Yes there is nothing wrong with borrowing money from ur parents to help ur husband if he is financially handicapped..There was no law that is against wife's family helping their inlaw..What if he has tried every angle to get money but no way and ur family is financially well to do? U prefer seeing him suffer?

      Madam carry ur bad character and ur family wealth dey go..Na only u ur papa get money?
      My family have helped my inlaw severally and we will do more in d future..We are doing that bcos of my sister and he is part of our family.We see our inlaw like a brother and we will continue helping him like a brother till luck smiles on him tomorrow.. NO BIG DEAL!

      Delete
    2. Him dey show himself nau. No money no dice.

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    3. God bless you and your family Baby Fire.

      We truly don’t know the full gist though, madam good luck.

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    4. Where I come from even a poor man has dignity. He won’t even ask his wife for financial assistance not to talk of in laws. When they give u and start disrespecting you. You will start crying

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    5. @baby fire are u married.a man does no push his wife to ask her parents esp when he observed she does not want to.he will manage till things pick up!!!

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    6. Lol he is a gold digger Q.E.D!
      He married you for what he’ll benefit and since that isn’t coming he is upset. Madam count your losses and move on.

      He did not ask you if you had, instead he goes ask your parents. Lol I can swear you are igbo! I’m igbo too and I know men like your husband. Anu ofia

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    7. Baby fire your head is correct. I am a man. I read the initial post and I shook my head. It seems the poster came to this blog seeking for advice that already validated her initial decision. The poster does not love the husband period. If you read between the lines it was glaring and even if she did she was more driven by her fantasy of what it should be like than the reality. You could sense a hint of “I did him a favour by marrying him. You think if we could read it here in your brief write up he couldn’t feel it Day in day out by your actions. Women come here to bash men and I just laugh. I laugh because very many get it wrong but very few some really sensible ones understand. Look. I have 3 elder sisters who married in their 20s all married with MSc degrees obtained in the UK full tuition and everything paid for by my dad. They are currently all British and had husbands who though All graduates could not have possibly had the kind of money my dad gave or spent on his daughters. Immediately after marriage my dad put down the mortgage deposit payment for all 3 daughters and their husbands. His reason, rather than paying rent to a landlord the young couple should pay mortgage towards their own houses. Today my eldest sisters husband is extremely wealthy, same as the 2nd and the 3rd is finding his feet. Chances are that your parents don’t have more money than mine. I have dated 2 girls from humble backgrounds I wanted to marry who I spent heavily on out of love. One left for a mulch older and richer guy who noticed the well catered to lady and who was her tribe (funny she still calls today) and the other is marriage bound later this year. Why this epistle. Well because I want to point out very clearly to you poster that you did not marry that man out of love period. Infatuation maybe not love. If you love a person, helping them would be second nature. Male or female and so what if they “cheat you” in the end if you have a pure heart you would always emerge on top. This is Nigeria where the economy can make a very hardworking young man look like a lazy fellow. Unemployment is 60%. Marriage is 2 people building something beautiful. It’s not too late. A little humility can work wonders. Same way u wouldn’t want to be with an abusive man is the same way a man wouldn’t want to be with a woman who belittles him. I don’t believe your narrative is truly complete. All the best.

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    8. I thank you poster for saying it all. I can relate to what you have said. I have helped my hubby several times and vice versa. I do not even think about it. Also my parents will not think twice to assist him if he needs such help because they regard him as their son. What I will not accept is a man making no effort but waiting for handouts from others

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    9. Anon 20:12.

      Yen yen yen! About the woman does not love the man. Does he love himself??!


      This man is/was a gold digger. Whatever was said to him, let’s say the girl spoke to him wrongly if he too loved her, they wouldn’t be quick on the divorce conclusion. They only came up with that because he isn’t getting what he expected from the marriage financial assistance and the lady on the other hand has only woken up to realise that she’s better off without him! Probably married out of pressure

      With the story about your dad,that must have been part of omenalaa idu ulo. So his daughters wouldn’t suffer esp in another mans land. Should he not have step in idk! How she would cope. (Also remember it’s easier to make ends meet on a budget abroad than in Nigeria) all this your brother in law is now so wealthy. is that what they make you believe or the reality of things still ......... YIMU*

      Also, This is different! You don’t know how they’ve helped this man in question and how he has utilised or squandered what was given.

      Lastly Yes! She did him a favour by marrying him. And i’m certain the man knew this! Or what else was the said “man”bringing to the table other than his manhood! NOTHING! BUT BURDEN!!

      This is what happens When a woman marries down, she’ll have to endure whatever bullshit is served. This is the reality! Love gba oku

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    10. Anonymous 20:12 you're da real mvp, take kisses

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    11. You can’t love without giving. They go hand in hand. If you truly loved a person you’ll do anything to make them happy and comfortable.

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    12. Anon 00.34 you will live long oya say amen

      Mr anon 20:12 go back and read the original chronicle she mention his fam disrespect her and her husband does nothing; don’t you think that is where resentment set in?

      Would you help such a man that will most likely look after his own fam when he blows while they continue to disrespect her; I certainly won’t!

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    13. I remembered ur story and i was awaiting ur feed back.No b all advice person dey hear, u are just meant to pick the useful ones and discard the rest, half of the people that sat with their laptops to advice you on not to give ur husband money because when he have he will start cheating on u. Trust me they were drinking tea in their own matrimonial homes while typing those advice and what some of them do to please their husband is even worse. Only God knows what u have said. Divorce is not as easy as it sounds especially when kids are involve

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    14. Baby fire God bless u, Must she even announce to her family that it is her husband that needs the money? yes we know some men can be annoying but he is ur HUSBAND!!! when they are shouting PRAY TO GOD SO THAT HE CAN LEAD YOUR PATH/MARRY RIGHT when they are single they will not hear. pls we should all remember that we will have children that will get married so treat ur husbands the same way u want ur son's wife to treat him. Some karma are relaxing for ur future ooo

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    15. Mr anon 20:12 I think I know you and you know you are lying 🤥 you have put sugar and spice as it usual in your story but anyways that’s what you do is part of you.

      Ano 00:34 God bless you for saying the truth.

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    16. He should have swallowed his pride and go with you to your parents'and ask.

      Not matured enough to marry.

      Delete
  2. This divorce is a wrong move. There is everything to LOSE lady. With time, you will find out that you lost something and the urge to rush into another relationship will soon be overpowering.

    This na wetin dey happen when them rush go wed without any blending done for courtship. Make una dey court with discussions wey concern una marriage. No be only fork.

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    Replies
    1. So a husband that will ask for divorce because the wife refused to ask her parents for money or told him she was unhappy with his actions is a prize. You people should keep treating Nigerian men like scarce gold, and they will keep treating you like trash. A marriage that you can’t express frustration or confront the husband is what we should idealise? Wonderful

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    2. Anon 35, go and read the story again, that husband is a gold digger!!! She has nothing to lose.....

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    3. God bless you for this comment.

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    4. Anon 15:35...dont just read the chronicle ooo, also read the comment section, where the poster shed more light on the situation

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    5. U are wise...See how she is quick to divorce her husband thinking there are suitors out there..With all d plenty single ladies out there,u still want to join the queue? Anyway once u leave,another single girl will enter..Don't run back tomorrow and beg him to take u back oh..

      Dis man doesn't cheat on u,he is not violent but u are already fed up with him? Oghanje spirit is real!

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    6. @Anon 16:49.. Do u know what she told him? U all think it's ok for a woman to bad mouth her husband and tell him heart breaking stuff and u expect him to swallow it?
      Even me as a woman there is something a man will tell me,I will just break up with him..

      The poster should tell us what she told her husband that made him call for divorce..


      I have watched Jada Pinketh's interview where she said there was a day she screamed and talked rudely at her husband Will Smith..Do u know what Will said to her? He told her he can telerate anything from her but won't take if with her talking down on him d way she did..And he warned her that if she ever repeat what she said again that he will file for a divorce... That made Jada to change for good bcos she wanted to retain her marriage...
      Some men are Soo emotional that they can't take bad words from women with a pinch of said talk more of dis poster that is already tired of d marriage and wants out..I can imagine her mouth running off like tap water bcos her husband asked for assistance from her family.

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    7. Jada Pinkett went vile and Will Smith retaliated by tapping her head all in the presence of others. He later took her to the bathroom to thrash out tgeir differences but never mentioned divorce. Will Smith is against divorce, his first wife divorced him.

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    8. Baby fire see the mumu example u gave.it was wrong if Jada so also it is wrong for a man to push his wife for money against her will.it is a thing of choice

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    9. Baby fire will you keep quiet. Are you married? That your family sees no big deal in doing it does not mean it's proper. My parents are very well to do but no matter how tight money is with me my husband can't use his two ears to hear that I asked my parents for anything rather he will deny himself everything possible to give me what I want.
      Most of these men seek out naive girls from well to do family in the name of marriage. After the marriage the next thing is to ask for help or loan. That's how my younger sister's husband came with his scam he is owing my family millions of naira. There is a story every year why his business has not picked up yet he hangs out in bars everyday, takes care of his siblings but will never do anything for my sister and her kid. My parents practically take care of them. If my sister had sense like this poster she won't be in this situation. She came with the entitlement mentality and will quarrel with my dad each time he says no until he succumbs to lending him the money.
      you will carry your two legs and marry someone's daughter after he finished training her then you want him to pay you for fucking his daughter for free by giving you money as king of the coast you are. You are mad. Any of my daughters that bring such useless man to me in the name of marriage will get it hot from me.
      Is it my cousin that her so called ex fiancee will come to visit her for one week he will come with not even common toothbrush she will carry him enter boutique buy from boxers to shoes, take care of every expenses during that period. This continued till after their trad when he asked her to get loan from her dad and she refused. Next thing he said he was no longer interested in the marriage.
      No woman should be pressured to borrow money from her parents. It's a different thing if the poster saw that he had no other option and decided to ask her parents not him forcing her to do it. It's her parents money not hers. He is a shameless and lazy ass man.
      Poster if he is serious about the divorce and you are sure you did nothing wrong to him move on with your life. He came for the money and now hw can't get it you are of no use to him.

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    10. Baby fire, keep feeding ur husband if u want. Everyone can't be you.

      Dear poster, you got nothing to lose Biko. The gold digger should carry his L and meet his disrespectful family members to help him

      Delete
  3. You did well for not helping him. That man would have shown you shege if he finally blows. Gold digging lazy ass man!

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    Replies
    1. Yimmu..As if it's a woman that requested for money from her in-laws u will call her a gold digger..
      I don't support women giving money to men that are not their husbands..But when u use ur korokoro eyes marry a poor man when u are financially well to do,expect such from him..If u don't want a man seeking for financial assistance from u when u marry him,pls don't marry a poor man..look for rich man and marry..Marriage is a serious business..Stop making it look like a child's play.

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    2. just like that? ahh this one is a gold digger o,just cause you said your mind, I have said alot in this my marriage and my hubby has never thought of divorce, just like that,oh Lord... this thing called marriage sha

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    3. There is more to this story you are not telling us biko, so because you refuse to help him borrow money from your parents,he asked for a divorce??? Pls tell us what actually happened.

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    4. Baby fire stop with this narrative. A woman with self respect would not request for money from her in-laws but her husband. Should the husband not have and wants to help, it is in his place to decides how to go about getting the funds wether from parents, bank etc. You don’t tell him how to go about it. Husband asking in-laws for money is a useless man! Same as wife asking inlaws for money. Said in-laws should know their capacity and be the one to hand out freely to them, that’s if you are living within your means, of good behaviour and they are seeing the effort you put in whatever you do.

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    5. Baby fire, are you the husbands relative???

      Ntoor the cash cow is gone.

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  4. You guys were never in love in the first place if not you both will be bothered

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    Replies
    1. exactly,she even felt her was always going to leave and he kuku showed himself, they do not love each other at all

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  5. There are times you get down from your high horse and do things you think is not right. Haba we are talking about yury husband here oo. So you can't help someone you call your husband by asking your privileged parents to assist him? Madam you didn't actually love that man before you walked down the aisle with him because if you did you would actually do anything for him to see him back on his feet as a man.

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    1. Shame no dey your eyes abi. I'm sure you would have shamelessly done it and have your family look down on your husband for the rest of his life. It's different if it was her money, but its her parents money we are talking about. Would he have done it for her, please lets be reasonable in our thinking.

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    2. I don't agree with you. There's nothing like high horse here. The woman probably didn't want her parents disrespecting her husband, hence didn't ask them for money.

      It's obvious the man married her with the intention of getting his hands on her parents money.

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    3. How would a full grown man send his wife to ask her family for financial help? It means he's indirectly telling her family he can't take care of their daughter, what happened to doubling his hustle and not looking for an easy means of gold being handed over to him. As her husband has he even earned that privilege of her family helping out or he just wants to dig from her family. A man that wants to be back on his feet will be without waiting for anybody's help, so that's not an excuse and for the woman to have her doubts about it it means the man isn't the loyal type,we have seen and heard how it ended for some women who did heaven and earth for their so called husbands

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    4. Anon 15.40. God bless you dear. Should a wife think plenty thinking before helping her HUSBAND out? Not boyfriend oo....husband? The person you took vows before God and man that two of you become flesh?

      poster, the truth is you didn't love the man before marrying him. That's why you aren't bothered. Love makes a man or woman sacrifice for their partner.

      Marriages of naadays tho... errbody in it with his or her own selfish reasons. It's no more teamwork. Husbands and wives stand aside when their partners are going through crises and instead of giving the helping hand will rather watch them fall.

      God help this unloving generation.


      On 2 the Next one abegii !

      #Madam Stella Dimokorkus, I hail you. Nice work.

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    5. #become one flesh.

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    6. Chocz, see why i love you?? Oil dey your head!!!

      The husband is a shameless gold digger!!! Let him go and look for another rich lady to marry!!

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    7. Become one flesh with her parent's money right?

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    8. Hmmm! That nice poster with a nice family wey place her boify on salary, are you here reading comments?

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    9. Anyone bashing her for not helping him is shameless. That means even he treats her with disdain and entitlement mentality, she should stay put all in the name of marriage.

      Una NA WA!!!!!

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    10. Lmao @ Eminado.
      Wetin aboki no go see for gate.

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    11. A man who allows his family control him might wake up and spend all on his family too.any man who allows his family talk down on his wife is not a man

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    12. Very entitled gold digger...

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  6. The 21st century Nigerian man

    e-husband
    e-father

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  7. That means, he came for the money. Move on, another man will find you.

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    Replies
    1. I disagree. Read what she said. She spoke to him in anger and bitterness and he responded with a request for a divorce. Ask her exactly what she said. Ask her? He is broke. Ok. Well most of the young men in the country are anyway. Infact last I heard about 60% of our population is extremely poor. Doesn’t mean he has no dignity. A woman with fertility issues who’s husband “tells her about his pain” and she requests for a divorce is quite similar to a “broke man, whose wife tells him about her pains” some words cut very deeps and oh I’m a man and I am no where near broke oh. But I’ve seen this man bashing happen to a lot of my not so fortunate friends. Men have feelings too. We are just raised to internalize the hurt and not wear it on our sleeves.

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    2. Nonsense anon... You can't live with a wife without her speaking to you in anger even once.

      He should take his smelly gold digging , entitled self out of her life please

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  8. He probably said it in anger. Don't mind him

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  9. To him it was all about the money.. .move on sister, make use of your parents money to establish yourself in a good deal that is if you don't have a good job. Have fun with your kids, pamper yourself,live the good life & a deserving man will soon come your way.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! The money you were to give him,use it in establishing yourself!
      A lot i want to say to you,but i'm not good @ epistles.

      Delete
  10. Dude was already fed up and living on a thread.
    What was he fed up from?.
    Hope not a bad attitude.
    If yes, apologise.
    If not, Gods grace to you both

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    Replies
    1. As the man is an angel

      mtttcheeeeew

      Most Naija men possess that stinking attitude you are referring to but always the expect the woman to swallow their garbage attitude

      Change your poor mentality and learn to value the people around you

      Only then can you get the best out of them

      No be everything be power power power

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    2. Shugargirl 😘💕🌹 Just hit the nail in the head. The entitlement mentality from Most African men is just appalling. It’s their right to control the woman and her income. Like seriously 😒

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    3. If only you knew. That the reverse is the case. Who handles 90% of the bills in a marriage and for a wedding even. So a man pays the bills around here and possible trains the wives siblings etc the woman’s defense is usually “I have you 3,4,5,6 children” forgetting that those children don’t eat grass, go to good schools and you still have a big fat allowance. Unless the man is highly irresponsible. sense of entitlement reside mainly not in all cases as some women are really hardworking but mainly in the laps of Naija women who view marriage as an escape from familial poverty, and transfer of their life’s stress to the shoulder of a man

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    4. Story!! This same Nigeria that most wives are the breadwinner? Abeg, spin a different disc

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  11. His true colors came out well also depending on what you told him. I still maintain that most MEN would not allow you go to your parents for help. God please continue to rest my father’s soul. Men have become something else. Smh.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! Someone like my dad would be too ashamed to ask his wife's parents for money.

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    2. No shame in this 21st century generation.

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    3. This generation of 'men' are turning into something else.

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    4. I tire o chocolate.it is a choice.he feels telling her divorce will force her hands

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    5. Some 21st century men eh.. Tueh. Always quick to ask for hand outs

      When things were rough for my dad, he refused my mum collecting anything from anyone and they weathered the storm successfully

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  12. If that ws the only reason why he sent you out, I can say he is a foolish gold digger except if there is something u are not telling us. Where is the love that u guys once profess for each other?

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  13. All the best Poster. With time more knowledge will come to light on his true intentions

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  14. Poster, i hope you had a discussion with him and you did not spoil for a flight. Helping/ assisting your spouse in marriage should not be negotiable if you really loved him the way you should. We go out of our ways to help strangers, why can't you do the same for your husband? This your update is not something you can reach if you applied a bit of wisdom. God will help you. This is your life and we are not part of it. We are just observers.

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  15. I haven't really had cause to lend money to men I dated in the past because they were doing great financially.

    I've been with a dude for a while now who was at some point overwhelmed with responsibilities and he reached out to me for help.

    I was uncomfortable with this position and even sought Bvs opinion on it but was discouraged to help him.

    I almost didn't help until I had a mental check to see if I would give out to money to someone I wasn't dating. The response was yes and so I took a plunge for it.

    I gave him half of the money he requested and was willing to forget it if he ever played a fast one on me.

    However, he paid me back in due time and by so doing, earned my respect.
    I'm in the process of letting him go for other reasons asides the aforementioned.


    My point?
    It's okay to give the people in our lives an opportunity to prove themselves. Your hubby would have probably disappionted you but if I were in your shoes, I would have given him part of the money and waited to see how it plays out.


    Goodluck as you'll be needing plenty of it.


    Marriage is definitely not a walk in the park. May we end up with people we truly love and care for.

    Amen.

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    Replies
    1. For the husband to ask for a divorce so fast something is fishy. I get he might be very angry, but to think of divorce so fast as first option is bad play. I think male BVs should tell us their opinions, maybe there is something that is not so obvious we are missing.

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    2. Whats with all d plenty paragraphs for a short comment? Attention seeking? I didn't even read what u wrote bcos d too much paragraphing did not allow me to read.

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    3. Question is....
      Did you borrow from your parents to give him???

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    4. My dear dear it is true but depends on the kind of man.before she will carry debt she did not spend

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    5. You have yours, not borrowing from your family to give. Shameless generation.

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    6. Nimi. You have a good heart and are one sensible woman. I am a man and have borrowed money several hundreds of thousands to me and women alike. If you care about a person helping shouldn’t be a problem. On occasion I have been deceived etc but guess what. I’ve always ended up much better than the deceiver. Even though sometimes I suffered for the loss of funds. I grew wiser. What is love without sacrifice. It’s not folly to help your spouse that’s why it’s said that 2 shall become one. We have only heard 1 side of the story. It may not be entirely as the poster narrated.

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  16. My sister, I THANK God for your life. He planned with family to collect the money, and dump you. Don't ask your parent for money, unless it for yourself. In case you decide to go back, never give him any money.
    You will be fine.

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  17. Madam, just like that. Maybe you added more salt to the fact that you can't give him the money. Is it possible for you to tell what you said in particular?

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    Replies
    1. Exactly my point..She go don use bad words finish d guy and his destiny..

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    2. Why are you people like this? So because she used bad words he should then ask for divorce? Na today women dey hear ‘bad words’ from husbands and husbands family? You guys should please stop making women feel less human and men as super human. A woman sits in her marriage for example, husband is misbehaving and even carrying girls outside and we tell her ‘at least you are the one at home’ mtsheww

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    3. Baby fire rest na. Is the husband ur brother???

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  18. Just like that? Won't he be ashamed to ask you for a divorce just because you refuses to ask your parents for help? There must be another reason.

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  19. https://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2019/02/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative.html
    For those who need to refresh their minds....
    Poster, it is well with you. The guy is a shameless gold digger if he is divorcing you because of money.. His mates are chasing away their wives because they asked their families for help, he is doing the opposite. Be strong though, he will be back with tears when he realizes that you are not rattled by his cheap blackmail.
    My problem is not even the money, it's the flagrant disregard he shows in the face of his family members' rude behavior towards you.
    Congratulations once more on the brand new 'chasis' brain that you got yourself.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the link to the story. From the story, dis was no love n trust was absent as well. Seem like it was a marriage of convenience, Mrs for the lady n money for the man. I'm sure there is still a whole lot of missing details, but seems the filing expectations made the divorce fast and mehn.... that's some ugly blackmail dia

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  20. There is something you are not telling us.u might not want to say everything but tell yourself the truth.A man can't divorce you just because you refuse to ask for help from your parents.there is more to this story.if only we can hear from both parties involved

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    1. If only we could.

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    2. A man cannot what!??
      If you're a woman,how naive can you be??

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    3. The story is somehow
      incomplete story

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  21. My sincere apologies to you poster. You know your husband best and you were right all along to deny the request. It will be a long and hard road but you will be fine. Blackmail is never good in marriage thats supposed to be "till death"
    If you give in today, it will be a continuous effort to keep him with money as bait so let him go....you have done well.

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  22. This story is shocking to me, if i remember correctly, you said this man was hardworking, you are from a rich home, things become a little difficult, he asked you to ask your parents for help but you are not so sure if you really want to help him because you dont want him to bite the finger that fed him say he later ends up cheating but you snooped and you found nothing thought, then this chronicles today again! I tot you said you have a child for this man? Is there something you didnt tell us? Were you guys trying to divorce before? Why do i have a feeling that you are a nefarious woman, nothing to LOSE, really? Well, lets wait and see. All the best to you.

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    Replies
    1. She also mentioned that, the man's family have no respect for her, and the man never stands up for her. They keep pressuring her to go get the money for her husband. Meaning the man planned with his family to ask her to go ask her parents for money.

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    2. The man has no shame.i u ask once ;twice u see ur wife did not budge u let her be!

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    3. That woman up there is simply proud, unforgiving, wicked and irresponsible.
      You are one with your husband, under every circumstance, you are suppose to shield him, Amos 3:3 "can two work together except they agree?

      I grew in a very He shouldnt even ever ask before you offer to help, you are obligated as his wife, if one is weak, the other should be there to pull him up, instead you trample upon yours, i'm very happy this man asked for a divorce because in the real sense, you are not a virtuous woman.

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    4. iya Nimi, sanctimonious Mary, Aunty virtuous woman. Keep giving ur husband money o.
      This one doesn't want to give. Leave her alone Abi you're related to the husband ni

      Delete
  23. I'm not sure it all because of the money issue. Have you been bad mouthing him?. Please there are two side of every coin.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poster you're so economic with the details. What is it that you said to this man for him to ask for divorce?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster, your husband is the type that will either kill you or abscond after getting hold of your parent's money. That is probably the real reason he married you. Say no to gold diging men.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Exactly Kristy, have you been bad mouthing your husband to your family? Many of you commenting here are un-married and scum. So if I have an inlaw like dangote I cannot tell my wife or even go to him for financial assistance?

    Many times am broke I used to tell my wife to help talk to her parent for financial assistance (she wouldn't say I sent her rather, she would say she needs it...and we pay back in no time). So poster, money will go, material things will go but the love will always be there. I guess you never loved your husband. Have you ever collected money from your parent and give to him which he never paid back? (You guys are family now. Your parent is his parent and his parent is your parent remember). I wish you find sense (or maybe there is more you hiding from us).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's start with,you and her husband don't have the same character,so your wife can support you without batting and eyelid. My husband is very proud and the day he ask for my assistance you must know it is very very serious. Although,you don't have pride so that is good for you. But 80% of the men I know won't ask their wives to ask their parents went they are down. The woman on her own can ask her parents and support the house. It is well with you oga.
      Poster it is well,I don't know if you insulted your oga in the process of the fight but sha don't collect any bulk money on his behalf.

      Delete
    2. Do u think if ur family talks down on her family she will do it.women can go any length for a man they love.so also they can do anything against a man they resent.why will his family come in to pressure her.who paid bride price.if the wife family nor dey nko.the minute u allow ur family disrespect ur wife my dear u are already breeding hatred and a time bomb

      Delete
    3. Since you are here with most of us that means you are scum just the same, and it takes one to know one.

      Did this man give her parents money to put down for him so she can go ask for it? Not every parent lend or give money to their adult children and rightfully so. These ppl have a right to enjoy the fruits of their labour without disturbance. They deserve to be assured of a good retirement and having something to leave behind for their grandchildren. You didn't help them work their money and so you are not entitled to any of it. This entitlement mentality of adult children towards their parents' or in-laws' money needs to stop. If you've met in hard times tighten your waist and ride it out.

      Delete
    4. Anon 17.26 so you think your in-laws won't know that you sent your wife to them for money no matter the cover up story she tells them?
      To think you even send her to them many times is appalling. Where is your 'Manhood' biko?

      Delete
    5. E village people don padlock e manhood

      Delete
    6. Dangotes daughter cannot marry a man who will be pressuring her to ask her father for money.

      Delete
  27. Nigerian men want to be traditional when it’s time to treat the wife like rubbish and demand cooking and full housework from the women.

    But they understand it’s the 21st century when they want to split bills or have the woman fit the bill. And some women are enabling it in the name of being understanding or virtuous.
    The man wants to be a traditional man when he ignores his wife being disrespected by his family, but he expects her to go and ask her parents for money on his behalf. And people are trying to make the man out to be a prize that she lost

    ReplyDelete
  28. The guy was with you for money. I can tell you without knowing you that this guy is a yoruba guy,I married a mam exactly like him,now we are separated because I refused to continue to give him money. I will send the story one day. All the people saying you didnt tell us what else you said blah blah, you dont have to have said anything, cos you said no he would have picked up unnecessary fights and left you. I know his type. This type of behavior kills love so those saying she never loved the guy are wrong. I repeat no self respecting man sends his wife to collect money from her parents .he is a gold digger, period

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And i hope you are happy now that you are seperated, lonely and eating your money alone. Mrs..... ,oh sorry, you are now Miss ty the ex yoruba madam, mtchewww

      Delete
    2. Nimi mother l ask u back : do u think she is happy being separated? What type of foolish question is that. While u might be able to rub popo from ur husband and his family to stay married, not everyone can. Stay and manage it anyhow that's why some people are dead today or suffering some mental issues. Madam l die there . Ruthabokoku

      Delete
    3. Ikwakwakwakwakwa, Iya Nimi. Seems ur Mrs title is ur only achievement in life.

      It's better she's divorced and happy than being married to a conniving, gold digging, can't stand up for his wife, waiting for hand outs, entitled and lazy excuse of a man.

      Delete
  29. You will not understand what men are turning women to this days. Most men sit and relax for the woman to pick up all the bill.shebi na we weh wan marry.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Your hubby married you for your family wealth all along. Praise the Lord Sis, you just got delivered from the hands of a greedy man....

    ReplyDelete
  31. Nobody knows what her parents have told her with respect to asking them for money as an adult. Some parents do not lend or give money to adult children, so she probably knew why she didn't ask. A divorce can be the greatest blessing under the right circumstances. Let nobody shame you into staying in a toxic marriage. Some are only talking because they are bound in their misery and misery loves company. There is nothing like peace of mind and freedom of spirit in this world.

    ReplyDelete
  32. why would his family pressure her to ask money from her family? So if he didn't marry her, won't he get that money from somewhere else. What is stopping him from going with her to beg for the money? And she has said she doesn't, why is he still adamant? And now divorce? Her husband may not be cheating or beating her, but he is still a fucking gold digger. Gosh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't know why his family didn't contribute money for him. Shameless man, and his shameless family members.

      Delete
  33. Let her do what she wants. She knows her husband more than we do. There is 2 sides to every story but she is in a better position to analyze the whole thing. Am sorry but I will not take money from my parents and give my husband. I did it once with my ex husband. Parents are lecturers and took their entire saving and gave a man plus my entire savings as a single girl. All in the bid to help husband.What happened? He squandered the whole thing. 22 million in total. Not even a kobo did he pay back. I am still suffering emotionally for it today. I live abroad and have siblings abroad. When I ask my mother for foodstuffs, she makes sure she collects to the last kobo for it but when my other siblings do, she doesn't collect a dime.
    I have not remarried, but when I do, I will never repeat the same mistake again. It's not a matter of love or anything but just a decision I have taken. I will contribute to the house upkeep and do my part but I wont take out a loan or anything to support my husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai!!! 🙆

      Delete
    2. May God bless you with a good man.

      Delete
    3. Sorry dear, he was just a fool. I have had reason to get small loans for my hubby and he paid back. Character cannot be hidden....if I want to keep money and not spend it I give my husband. No matter how long he keeps the money, the day I request for it and he sees it's for a good cause I get the money back without stories. He is disciplined like that. So when the time came for me to take the loans for him I didn't bat an eyelid. We have been together for close to 15 years and till tomor I will still borrow him money if he needs it. Bottom line is to keep praying to God for the kind of partner we want and to also test the character of future spouse. Courtship is no longer what it should be if not things like this should not come up. I also believe women in particular should not marry below the financial standard they are used to....a man can marry a poor man but women who do same usually regret it

      Delete
  34. Many of you shouting here are unmarried and uncultured. Let's look at it this way. A single guy is always OK with little he gets and manages himself. But once you are married responsibility increases. When a child comes in it adds burden on finances it takes the will of God to pull through this time. I have seen men that do very well that crashed this period. It is a period of consolidation its a period a woman should understand with her man and build the house. Its a period you know the things you say to him what he needs then is encouragement. He will love you and never forget you. Now good a thing your own family is doing well so because you don't want to help your husband you guys should wallow in poverty? When you can help and make the family stand. I guess you are already talking of leaving immediately you saw things are not going well. It is not a good way to think. You were already on your way out and said a lot of thing and even suggested the divorce to him before this happened. You loved him but you didn't get support from his family. You wanted the family to worship you because your parents are rich and you can get what ever you want. Your own parent didn't also try because this would have been a time they would have wade in to discuss with their son in law. It is bad the wat you guys talk about divorce divorce him..its not easy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please go and rest. Did you even read her chronicle?

      Delete
    2. Anon you're saying rubbish, I was with this type of man, so I know what the poster is talking about. I was married to a man like this. If you have not walked in someone's shoes you have no right to judge them

      Delete
    3. Anon 19:46, don't go and hustle, and be waiting for your wife to go round asking for money to help you. Shameless man. Which responsibilities , when the woman is helping with the bills? So her family should give you their money, so they go broke? Lazy man. Go to your own family.

      Delete
    4. What is this one saying? If her parents didn't have money, what would he have done? That's why its good the rich marry the rich, nobody will insult anybody coZ of money.

      Delete
    5. Don't go and work hard o.. Be waiting for a girls family money .
      Lazy ass

      Delete
  35. Good for you. Many who plead and beg will never pay back after they get. Her husband is divorcing because he came to get free money and use his in-laws as ATM machine. He didn't get what he planned for so he is bouncing to find another victim. We as children need to protect our parents labour. I have never been interested in asking my parents for money to help a man. There are some man who every year they have the next big idea and always seeking money and as much time as they do they fail, but will never pay back. One wanted me to invest $5000 US in his small business. If you can't get 5k from the bank to borrow something is wrong. I told him to find ten ppl to invest $500 each, he then told me he did not want to owe so many ppl. I thought to myself, you don't want to owe ten ppl $500 individually, but you want me to take up $5000 and loan you. Some ppl just want to know you have something set aside to suck you dry, because they will never be satisfied until every penny is spent. I feel bad that your mom is now so strict with you and money, but can you blame her. You and your ex-husband cleaned out everything they had worked for. You should pay them back as a sign of good faith. No matter how long it takes you pay them back.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I don't know when our men became this shameless.i'm embarrassed at some men saying they can send their wives to ask their inlaws for money like they gave their inlaws money to keep for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What do you expect?

      We are in the 21st century

      Parents please help save the future marriages
      Drill your male kids to become MEN

      Drops mic

      Delete
    2. Train YOUR SONS

      Dont create useless, entitled efulefus for the world to curse you about!

      Teach THEM TO FEAR GOD!( even when they are alone it will moderate them)

      Teach them work ethics to avoid fast money /shortcuts/laziness

      Teach them Humility ( dirty entitlement and pride will always far from them)

      Teach them self respect
      Teach them values
      Teach them self discipline in money, mouth, actions and body ( body= Promiscuity will be far from them)

      Teach them self confidence so they know right and wrong , and they will ALWAYS choose Right

      Teach them focus so they will be successful

      Teach Them THE FEAR OF GOD

      Delete
  37. two sides of the same coin..madam something is fishy from all I read.. no remorse.. there is more to this story of urs ma'am..

    ReplyDelete
  38. My Sis did everything for her ex; bought him land properties, got him visa and took him to Us, did everything possible but he left her and has never communicated his location over 4 years ago!

    Poster, follow your conscience and enjoy your life. We can only live once!

    ReplyDelete
  39. My dear , grant him his wish, how can a man's family ask him to pressure u into collecting money from ur parents, Dem no dey shame? He deserve whatever you told him. Forget anyone blaming u, they have no self respect, they can eat shit. you promised my parents you gonna take care of me! You will borrow d money from outside, you will hustle and you will be a man with dignity...

    Taa!

    ReplyDelete
  40. That was how my sil gave her atm card to her ex husband n he kept squandering her money frivolously carrying girls about living large on his wife’s money until she woke up” one day n demanded for her atm card n dis beating started abeg story plenty.
    They r divorced now,he left without looking back n left 2cute boys for my sil to cater for!
    Poster take a walk..... he’s a man! if he can’t provide for his family no matter how little he’s not worth to be called a man.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I was in a similar situation once. I made the mistake of helping out my ex husband by getting a big loan for him. He leftvmr when I was 5 months pregnant and even tried to sell my properties while I was on bed rest. He then crowned it by marrying another woman bigamously. I will NEVER help anyone like that again.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hmmm. Why do I have a feeling this poster used insulting words on her husband which resulted to the divorce because his ego has been bruised. Wetin I know self.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poster you did the right thing,that man is using you and your family to enjoy himself with babes outside. That was how my ex husband used me and my family money to enrich himself, when my eyes opened I stopped all forms of assistance from my end, from my family. Guy man ask for a divorce, today we are separated, this February makes it one year that we are separated. Soon we divorce properly, if a man loves you, your family money or your own will not attract him. He will hustle without asking for. Allow the woman to be the one asking for help from her parents, not you forcing her to go get money from her parents. When family start giving you and your husband money, it brings disrespect. Men try your best to take care of your family no matter what.

    Poster be strong, you are not losing anything. You cannot remain with aman that does not love you. Take your time to build yourself, the person telling you you will lose everything. Check that person, I know the person has never wear the shoe of marriage. I pray you test what this woman went through and see if you will remain loyal. You cannot advise what you have never tested. A man desperate for your family money and yours will show you Pepper once you refuse to corporate.

    Whatever you said to him during argument, he has no right to ask for a divorce if he truly loves you or wanted the marriage in the first place. Use our parents money to take care of yourself and your children if you have. Change environment, make yourself happy and stop thinking about the past.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I don't know which kind of irresponsible men you girls are marrying. What I did not support is the part where she said "her in-laws keeps pressurising her husband to collect money from her parent (That is not reasonable).

    I have said it before and I will say it again, there is nothing bad if in-laws helped out their children if they are in need(it does not mean you don't have dignity) so long I pay back. Africans receive sense pride and ignorance will not kill us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The paying back is the key. She knows her husband better and must have known he will see it as national cake and not pay back

      Delete
  45. Am always a bit skeptical about coming here seeking for advise, most women and bitter and in a loveless marriage they are ready to trash our rubbish as advise. Some ladies are unmarried and unhappy and are willing to talk from no experience whatsoever.
    If my husband is in need and i see that he have tried why would i not assist, his happiness is our happiness, God forbid i see myself in a position to help anybody not to talk of my husband and i withold it from them, God has placed that man in a position where he can get help and you his wife withold it from him, i can boldly say you dont love him.
    Love is patient, kind and selfless. Have you thought of lifting him and how grateful and indebted he would be you and your family. I dont even know how we see life, you withold good from another and cloud yourseld with negative thoughts of things oing bad in the future.
    Hold your money and your family's wealth but i tell you this, this man will struggle and make it in life only then will you know what you have lost.
    Why are you his wife? or are you just his wife when things are rosy. If you cant lift him why are you in his life.
    Am so pained, this world is getting toxic by the day. Where is the love?

    ReplyDelete
  46. So I will train my daughter for school finish, come give am one man in the name of marriage, then the man will demand payment for fucking my daughter every night all in the name of loan. I reject it in Jesus name Amen this is a situation i didn't wish my worse enemies.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Everyone married woman knows her husband at least to the extent she knows him. If you married the finacially dependable type that borrows and pays back, good for you. But not ever

    ReplyDelete
  48. Not everyone is fortunate like dat. So why should she go and be hounding her parents in their twighlight years of their retirement benefits for an able bodied man? Do you think if she wanted to do it for him she will come and ask you pple? Stella plus all those saying how did she talk to him: how many of u directly or indirectly insult ur husbands in the last one week? Did he seek divorce? For u to know that the man's heart and hand is not clean. Abeg leave joor.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Eji divorce eyi Mmadu egwu.. Taaaa.
    Good riddance to rubbish biko

    ReplyDelete

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