Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative -UPDATE....

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Friday, February 01, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative -UPDATE....

 Hmmm............






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
27YRS OLD NYSC NIECE


Good day everyone and thanks for your advice.

 When she came back home, after she rested well,I told her I would like to have a talk with her, I went straight to the point that I will appreciate any little effort here and there especially in the kitchen area anytime shes around that I know she isn't my maid.


 I told her anytime I offend her,she should let me know that I take to correction not minding if the person is 4 years old. I even told her that maybe because am calling her Aunty makes her want to be rude. I told her what goes around comes around and that its good to be nice . 


I told her I accepted her with open hands and I want us to live in peace. I even told her that she knows i do prepare her food before she comes back from work that she should help me in the kitchen when shes around .


She said that I shouldn't call her Aunty again ooo,that it means nothing to her. I asked how her day went. She went to her room and I went to the kitchen to prepare food for everyone,she didn't join me and she didn't eat out of the food till she left the next day to a friend's place. I even washed her plates for her because If she sees plenty dishes,she won't wash again but add hers to it and leave but when i realised that this was getting too much, I decided to wash only my families dishes and left hers in the zinc,ever since then,she washes her own dishes and I wash my family's own.


I wanted to wash clothes the next day,went to my bag to change my wear,that was when I saw that she had already folded the cloth I gave her to be using inside my bag without telling me. I reported to my husband that this is getting out of hand that when shes returns from wherever she went to,all of us must see. When she returned,I told her about the cloth because when i had a talk with her,I never shouted at her nor did I abuse her,so why go to the extent of not wanting peace? 


OK,I gave her back the cloth that she should continue using it by fire by force. She told my husband and I that shes not eating permanently again that she doesnt want to burden me. I said as long as she stays here, she must eat. My husband told her to be helping out in the kitchen that when he was with them (the niece) when they were small,he helps their mum in the kitchen and he had no problem with her mum.


 My husband told her sorry because she said she didnt like the way I spoke to her but she never apologised back even though my husband told her he didnt also like the way she spoke to him but she never said shes sorry. Before this brouhaha,she said she will teach me handiwork but I dont want again,will go learn (hope its a good idea). I sweep and mop the floor after the school bus has taken my children. She wakes up from bed around 7:30am but I would have finished the sweeping and mopping and she doesnt care to even help me out but no more complains because if shes not with us,I'll do my chores,abi?


 Ever since I complained here, she hasnt taken broom to sweep.

Yesterday,I was washing and my baby poo-ed, I had to leave the washing of clothes to clean my baby's poo but while removing her pampers,hubby returned from work,he collected the baby from me to clean her poo whereas the niece sat down watching tv. 

If I prepare food before she comes back,i tell her to go dish her food because it doesn't make sense to only cook my family's meal and not add a single persons own to it.if she likes make she change for good and if she no like,make she no change but I have decided not to ever say anything or complain till she leaves. 


If am too stressed for house chores,will tell husband to help me out instead of telling her and I will make sure I do all the chores so she's doesn't say I turned her to my help. I pray God gives me patience because for Stella who had lived most of her life in obodo oyinbo to warn me to be very careful and some bvs,even my mum told me to thread with caution because in law wahala no good. 


Its February already as a bv said,am counting her days here.Thank you all,I appreciate your replies. I was so overwhelmed when people really took my matter to heart. May God bless you all! Muaaah.........

NB: Stella,I saw your replies. God in heaven bears me witness that I don't send her message even to help with my children,never but common sense will tell you to do the tiniest of thing. I knew wahala go dey already when she changed where she was posted to like she was initially posted to the south East but she said she will like to come to the west where her uncle resides by fire by force. 


When the posting came out again,she was posted to Osun state in Oshogbo but she said no that she go stay for Ife where we reside,she was later posted to Ife, hope you get now. She wants free accommodation and where she wont be independent but depend on us even financially.




*Thanks for the Feedback....I have been abroad since 2004 and my mentality has changed greatly..You must not expect anything from anyone...Living abroad teaches you to be a DIY kinda person and be independent as well....

Why do you wash your floors everyday?Do you have  what i think you have?

 I am sure she has discussed this with her mum and changed the story so look out for stress loading from her mum after she leaves your house....
I like your new stance....stick to it.

113 comments:

  1. If you like yourself, please continue to call her aunty oooo. Don't get carried away because she said she doesn't mind and stop calling her that. Believe me she only said that because you indirectly said the "aunty" you have been calling her is entering her head. Still be careful please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calling her aunty that what happened? Is that the name her father gave her, she wants to be called aunty and she’s not behaving like one. She should go and collect her aunty outside
      Sheybe she too go marry, just keep treating her like an injury until she leaves but please do not do any work for her, if she doesn’t want to eat your food that’s her business
      Normally I will not be this nice with my advice cus I can’t do what you have chosen to do, me that will remove the dstv card let me see the mumu tv she wants to watch, when I finish dealing with her without a word, she will park her load and go

      Delete
    2. If she likes herself she should keep calling that naughty lady aunty.Abeg talk another thing

      Delete
    3. Aunty indeed.

      Delete
    4. Didn't you both read where she said the mother of the said lady refer to her own daughter as aunty when interacting with the poster?. She won't be with you forever,would she? Despite the adult conversation you both had, tell me, did she change for the better? no, rather she returned your cloth and got angrier.
      In law battle is never won, your husband might agree with you now and tell her she needs to help out but with time he might get tired and tell you your wahala is too much.They would eventually tag you family divider, that you are instigating their brother against them.
      Poster,listen to all advices but be careful of the ones you pick, it is your home, we are not there with you at the end of the day you are own your own. So be wise.

      Delete
    5. Which stupid aunty be that??? Poster ignore her completely. Act like she is not there, zone her out completely. She is a very stupid child and will surely have her karma served piping hot.
      Ps: your husband did not try at all!!!!

      Delete
    6. Madam Start giving her attitude so that she will not decide to stay for a day more after her NYSC. As in start firing her bumbum. Still be calling her aunty o, but you know what I mean na.
      She will know that she is not welcomed in your home. You can start by sending her on errands when she is around, even if she doesn't go, keep sending her. Also, spoil the TV. Yes, spoil it intentionally and don't allow your husband to fix it. Then get a small one and put in your room where you can your children can watch. She will get frustrated

      Delete
    7. Poster don't stress yourself, this life is turn by turn. Had same stress with hubby,s niece , now she is married and facing her own karma. She now calls me to ask for advice. No worry she would soon leave oh. Just continue to endure.

      Delete
  2. link to the first post pls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2019/01/thursday-in-house-news.html?m=1

      It was posted on IHN,scroll to the "COMMENT SECTION RANT" when you open the link above..

      @MARTINS ABOY

      Delete
    2. God bless You Martins

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    3. Thanks Martins,was still thinking how on earth did I miss this gist.

      Delete
  3. Some in-laws are just troublesome.

    Your new decision is very Ok. Do the one you can do and let hubby assist you with the rest since he is willing to but as for your guest, let her be. She's a woman too, with time she will know what's up. Be careful with her mum as well, avoid somethings when it comes to them. I wish you all the best in your home.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Living in Abroad! living in abroad!! living in abroad!! Stella are you kidding me? it's the spoilt brat that uses abroad as an excuse.Home or Abroad has nothing to do with a person's toxic character please stop this "living in Abroad" phrase.
    If you deem fit don't post my comments I'm sure you read it that's all that matters.
    Poster you are taking too much I envy your patience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this comment. I was shocked when I saw her advice to the poster on the first post. Living abroad and an individual lacking courtesy and manners have NOTHING in common.!

      Delete
    2. Thank you for this comment. How many people abroad will feed and accommodate and extra mouth for free ...since we are on the topic of “abroad”

      Delete
  5. That girl can never stay with someone like me. She no fit. Imagine the bitch....wetin marriage dey cause ehn...

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    Replies
    1. I tell you Zara! I for don naked pursue her tey tey!! Who her kind of in-law epp that I go come dey take shits from her in MY OWN HOUSE?? Like who born the devil?

      Delete
    2. I am telling u. She cannot just fit cos I won't be able to tolerate this shit in d name of for peace to reign in my marriage for even a second not to talk of days and what have u. Mscheeeew

      Delete
    3. It's d hand d poster gave her anyways. Calling her anty unto wetin in d first place. Hiss again.

      Delete
    4. Sandy my sexy sister I saw you in my dream ooo.. Hmmm lemme just kpim

      Delete
    5. Same thing I'm facing. I scolded bro in law because he started cooking on his own and I also reported to his mum how he has been behaving, since then this boy doesn't greet me o and hubby is not saying anything about it.

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    6. Kpim ke @Fan?! Yarn me small na my sister. Hope it's for good eeeh.

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    7. Very very good and pleasant.

      Delete
    8. Ok, good to know Nwanne.🤗

      Delete
  6. You shouldn't have stressed yourself in the first place. You should have Carried on as though you didn't have any one staying with you. Anyway,I like the fact that you have decided to do the house work by your self. That notwithstanding show her maturity and love.cook and give her food. I was taught never to deny anyone food of all things.this life is a funny place and she's a woman. What goes around comes around. She will marry one day and she will be sorry for her actions.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think BVs don push you enter wahala now your eyes Don neat. None of them is there with you right now to receive the aftermath and the rift this might cause with your in-laws for a long time. When you were pumping like soak bread they were playing reggae music for you I was laughing then. You should have given yourself this advice before you started complaining having in mind she was not there forever. Madam abeg carry your cross.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You were laughing abi. Wicked something. Why didnt u advice her.

      Delete
    2. Women and wahala,the Poster isn't accommodating, go get a house help and stop whining, your husband is even tired of your complains.

      Delete
    3. What's this one saying. let us hear word jare

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    4. And I am telling you that I will not preach what I will not do, even if she decides to be peaceful it’s good she informed the girl about her attitude, even if she dint obey she still heard it, when she gets married she will understand

      Delete
    5. It is good the way she complained because even without saying anything the witch already knew she's not happy with her. I'm not just okay with the way she has decided to ignore her now. Like what can they do to her if she decides to chase her out of her house? In-law my foot! In-law gbakwa okwu!

      Delete
    6. That girl can't stay in my house. I no her and her mother. If her mother did a good job of bringing her up she won't cause stress in another home. Hope she gets married one day and have an in law stay with her for a month. Small witch. Because a woman married into your family, every body must shit on her. Rubbish.

      Delete
    7. She caused it, assuming she put her in her place immediately she got to her house all of this wouldn't have happened, but doing all this after she has been living with you for some time will only put you in trouble...

      Delete
    8. Oh please to hell with keeping up appearance. How do you stay in a house for 1 year and not help out? If she had rented a place of her own, won't she keep it clean?? It's good poster laid bare her mind.

      Delete
  8. Madam u try.me I WlLL NEVER TAKE IT.thank God for u

    ReplyDelete
  9. Stella,Nigeria is dusty and dirty. We mop everyday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe it's your location that is dirty.

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    2. This is not about being dirty,children pick things from the floor and put in their mouth. So your house must be clean at all times

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  10. Poster, please leave her alone
    Atobaje lomo yen and I pray it won't be long before she learns. Do as if she doesn't stay with you,for peace to reign because as it stands she has her mother's backing.

    I have an uncle in Ilorin but I decided to rent an apartment back then in school. Him and his wife were so angry but I promised them that I will be coming weekends. When I am with them we do everything together. Me and the wife became so close that after school sometime I joined them in their shop at yoruba road. When I left,they felt me. We are still very close.

    She has a mission, don't give room for the devil
    She can't stay with you forever. If the house chores is too much,get someone who will be coming like 3times a week and look young for your hubby. God bless your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any body that has a bad mission can not stay in my house unless I don't know

      Delete
    2. Thank you when I went for Nysc in another state where my aunt lives with her husband and kids in this own house wey them build sef, i refuse, she called my dad and was complaining my dad fave me 200k for rent and said I should do whatever I want to take the house or stay with my aunt, I went to get my own house and visit them once in while because I no want trouble at all or tomorrow them go say I dey fuck her husband because definitely I will join the man in his car to my ppa, even if she no think am that way her neighbours or friends fit think am that way. because abuja girl looking fly with her popsy money na ashawo for some people eye

      Delete
  11. When is her NYSC ending? Does she have a job lined up? If not, please let your husband help find her one in a different state if possible.

    I lived abroad for a long time before relocating to Nigeria. And NOTHING will convince me to allow any in-law live under my roof ever again. Nobody should come for omugwo sef. Even NYSC, they should go and manage like their mates are doing. They will not die. The point of NYSC is that you go to a place you don't know anybody and learn how to integrate. Not go to an in-law's house. It never ends in praise. In my case, they nearly killed my husband. Man that bent over backwards to go above and beyond for them. The "thank you" they could tell him was try to knock our heads together. As that didn't work, the next one was to try to kill him, then plan to kill me with poisoned food. In my own house. Silly girl I senior with a whole 10years. I saw the only man I have ever truly loved, nearly die. Never again, please.

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    Replies
    1. And don't be surprised this idiot will not go after NYSC ooo,she will stay in her nwa boi house and start looking for a job. I know her type

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    2. That's why I advised the poster to see if her husband can find the niece a job in a different town. He should start looking now before NYSC ends. That way, the poster can know for sure when the satanic in-law is leaving.

      Delete
    3. Fan Emmanuel when that time comes poster and her husband should ask her just go visit her parents briefly after all it's been a year since she left them

      From there they should not welcome her back that the rooms are too small to accommodate an extra person

      Make she go job hunt from her parents' house

      Delete
    4. Poster pls you and your husband should do as the anon said. Look for a job for her outside your town. She may want to stay back and search for a job there and keep living with your family.

      Delete
  12. Madam poster, let her be. It's a good thing you let out what's on your mind to her. A 27 yr old that is ripe for marriage is behaving like a teenager. When her time comes someone very small to her will teach her a lesson too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right, what goes around will definitely comes aroound.

      Delete
  13. This of you that have relatives in the house and are not helping with chores, don't sit them down and discuss with them about it. in the morning just drop broom for parlour for them and tell them to sweep it, when cooking call them into the kitchen to assist eg joy come and help me wash and slice the leaf.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is my sister... she will not even ask you if you want to, she will just be sending you up and down, if you are too tired you can leave

      Delete
  14. Madam tell that witch to leave your house. Inukwa taking shits in my own house? You are too nice for an inconsiderate selfish wicked evil witch like her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fan Emmanuel stop lying, you no go do anything jnfact na you go dish her food carry plate and wash am. so that make you no go get issues with your inlaw,

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    2. Hahahahahaha anonymous you don craze finish walahi! Except if na her mama dey feed me and my husband sha but if not GOD PUNISH THE DEVIL

      Delete
    3. Fan... I doubt you are what you portray here in real life. I see you as someone who will bend over backwards for someone else. No be Abuja you de?? I will like to meet you when l come home.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous that will be nice. I'll be waiting

      Delete
  15. If I were you God knows I will put that small brat right where she belong. Who has time for radarada. Since you've started enduring just endure to the end. The Lord is your strength.

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  16. Poster if you spoke with her gently as u did i am happy for u. From now on, just leave her. Thank God your husband supports. Just comot eye

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  17. I have a stupid family friend who is fond of doing this, she go even come your house eat leave plate for table commot sef

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  18. Her family doesn't like you, I also hope your husband no go run him mouth about you there. because I no know why she will be behaving like this towards you.

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  19. I honestly can't try this with my uncles & his wife. My dad is a no-nonsense person & he won't even support me should any argument arise.
    Anytime I'm in my uncle's house, I handle the cooking & house cleaning. (I don't wash clothes tho)
    Infact, most of my uncle's wives loves having me around.

    Poster, may God grant you all the patience you need to scale thru this.
    ❤️ ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  20. I knew she sought out to be posted in your area so she could live free and do nothing. Now it is clearer why your husband did not say more to her, he lived with them when he was younger so he does not want to be seen as that type who does not remember where he is coming from. I still cannot believe that a whole 27yr old woman is so lazy. She is getting free lodging, food, entertainment, has to pay for nothing and cannot even take a broom to the place. Wow! Her mother did not raise her right. So not even the toilet she shits in, or the bathroom she showers in she will clean? Keep taking care of your household and minding your own. I hope she goes home as soon as what she is doing is over. May God give you the strength and patience to see it through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!! My mother will finish me with insults if I dare do this shit in ANYBODY I'm putting up with. She will reset my brain with talk. How dare that brat!!

      Delete
  21. Stella it's not about DIY.It's just proper upbringing.you can't live I a person's house and expect them to cook and clean after you.she lives in the house with them so it's only proper she helps with the cleaning and her dishes.she doesn't have to help out with the kids though.I for one won't let anyone come into my house and stay for a more than 1 week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me I taya o!

      Abi she's a flower ni?
      Come and be forming Lord inside another person house

      Oya go and do that rubbish in your father's house lazy shild

      Delete
  22. Enter your comment...you really try no in-law can try that with me when she is not mad,it is either you abide by the rules or you leave my house

    ReplyDelete
  23. Madam poster ignore her
    Her karma is still doing press up

    ReplyDelete
  24. I think your decision is good. Stick to it. That lady is trouble personified. How can a grown ass woman not help out in the house she sleeps in? Just wake up, eat and zoom off? No conscience at all. A whole 27years old mama! Please ignore her okay. I hope nothing will make her extend her stay beyond the service period.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Do whatever house chores you can do and leave the rest, then do it later when you have the strength to. House chores doesn't finish when you have kids, so just learn to do the ones you think is very important and do the less important ones later.
    If you can ignore her totally, pls do. Whenever anyone comes to stay with us either for some few days or weeks, I ignore them totally and zero them out of my mind as if they aren't there (on house chores) and What has always been helping me is that, I don't like people doing some certain chores for me, so I am used to doing it alone or getting someone that comes over by weekend to do some for me.
    Most of these in-laws always feel they are doing you a favour or something.
    WHEN YOU DONT EXPECT MUCH FROM PEOPLE YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED. It is well with you

    ReplyDelete
  26. If you’re staying with someone, you don’t have to be told or cajoled to help out a lil bit. It’s just good and proper manners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Simple thing... common sense.

      Delete
  27. I wrote to Stella about my friend who is a lesbian n wants to lure me into it,dumped the friendship as advised by bvs.She now hates me and keeping malice but i no send cos judgement per head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wise of you. Blessed is the person that walks not in the council of sinners.

      Delete
  28. Maybe her age is not correct. 27year old? Jesus Christ! Woman for that matter. Madam keep washing toy family plate o and leave hers in the sink, it is obvious she is shameless and likes trouble. Do not call her any stupid aunty(aunty noma ehen egbe e). Don't even open teeth with her.

    Since she wants to behave like a stranger the house, help her become one. Na silent treatment fit this kine people. Agbiwen no oyoko

    ReplyDelete
  29. If it was a 21 or 22 year old now I’d have said teenage irresponsibility is still leaking into her brain but 27?? 20damn7?? I’m so pissed rai now. Like who effing does that? In my house?? Or is there something about this family that your hubby isn’t telling you??

    ReplyDelete
  30. I also like your new stance jare. Your marriage has many decades to go. Your niece will be out in months. Once that's in perspective, fakati.
    Kudos to your husband. He's done what he should, the rest is left to her abeg.
    Good thing is, she and others from her end will avoid your place for the nearest future which is not bad if you ask me.

    Shalom

    ReplyDelete
  31. my God, this is what i will not tolerate. husband siblings, neices, nephews, you wont try that in my house. all younger ones will have their names landed on their heads. and you will take care of your sef in my house, wash dishes, go to the market, then i cook. no one is anyones slave. what a mentality. rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Lmao 🤣
    Wow most Nigerian women are in bondage under this institution called marriage!
    What nonsense!!
    My own house and you misbehave like that?
    Because culture and shit!
    You lie bad, I said that you liiiieee bad
    You will leave one hot afternoon without a thought!
    Motherhood is stressful and any little help counts then you add to my burden?
    KWASIA!

    ReplyDelete
  33. hmm had it been she's 16 or 17 I will not have an issue with this narrative but 27? like 27 year old.she'll soon be in her own home sha.whenever I go to my elder brother's house I do all the cleaning,washing and sweeping.even if no one tells me at least I want the place to look good to my taste.poster this your niece is not trying at all but keep being good to her and leave her to fate

    ReplyDelete
  34. I love your approach to the issue. My warning is for you to make sure there is no room for her in your house after her service year is over and no more in-law coming to stay with you. This life is too short to be inconvenienced in your own home.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Too much complaints, just send her away. Nobody needs to be told to wash plates and clean up the house now and then......

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster. Thank you for taking advice from here. You were asked to talk to her and you did. You have done your part. Good to know you have made up your mind to let her be. Treat her as if she does not exist in the house. Don't allow her to do anything but please don't deny her food.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster, please leave that girl alone. I wish you hadn’t spoken to her. You should have just continued doing your own thing. You are lucky your husband helps when he can. Most husbands in Nigeria are Kings and don’t help.
    You see that girl, she is not a nice person. She will go add salt and pepper to what you told her and run to her Mom. But, it’s all good. She is 27. She will finish that service. She has to leave after that.
    I live abroad. Work full time, Cook, run the home. I had FIL, and MIL, who would not even fold their own clothes after I do the laundry. I suffered so much but weathered that storm for five years. My MIL, lives on her own now. Who do you think will fold her clothes for her now?? What l am trying to say is, that chick will find it very hard to work and run her own home because she’s still not used to doing anything except wash her one plate. Can you imagine her cooking for guests and cleaning up afterwards?? Chick is lazy. Period!!
    Also, when l had my son, l had two young Nigerian friends in their late twenties come visit me. I had cooked lots of food and put in the fridge and frozen the rest. This two girls, ate whatever they wanted, filled my sink with the plates and went home. My baby was two weeks old. After they left, l walked up to the sink and couldn’t believe my eyes. I washed up everything and never accepted their request to come visit again. It’s nice to be helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I trust my mum on this, immediately you decide to move into her house.. Her rules, she will tell you to your face the next morning after spending a night in her house.
    When next anyone tells you he/she is coming to stay in your house for more than a night..... Your house your rules. Once they know you for who you are is either they come or they don't come. The funniest part all my dad's family respect my mom big time despite the fact that they are Muslim and we are Christians,more than two of my cousins are living with us from my father's family

    ReplyDelete
  39. Stella if you're sincere with yourself, you will admit that your abroad excuse doesn't hold water. Because abroad, no nonsense relative will even come and live with a full family and if they have to, they must contribute their own quota either monetarily or by babysitting or by doing some housekeeping. Nobody will try this nonsense with poster abroad if not the girl will find herself on the street. It's because poster is in Nigeria that the girl is eating shit

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  40. The important thing is that you have told her your mind, rather than bearing grudges and shrinking. Now you are free to do exactly and only what your peace of mind can accommodate. Simple.
    Foolish mature adult forming e big nwa in another person's home. Ewu!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Madam poster, I envy you mehnnn...You are a very patient woman. If na me, she for don pack go her mama house. In fact, she no go even try this shit with me. I think she stepped on you because you were too soft and maybe naive. My initial stance would have set the record straight. I play a lot with everyone, my little cousins, nieces, nephews, but you don't dare take me for granted. My own stubbornness no be here oooo. Your husband isn't helping matters.

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  42. Madam I so much believed your story cos I was in ur shoes last year thank God we moved that was why she had to pack out, d most annoying part was that my husband was supporting her telling me she’s not a slave, I jst jejely left her to her own. She will be in d sitting room I will be in d kitchen cooking while my baby is at my bark,wen d food is done she will stand up dish her food and even ask her brother who is my husband if his ready to eat.i saw shege,thank God I was able to endure it all.

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  43. Ndi Yoruba na nsogbu
    I got confused when you said she must take the clothes / eat food in your house. Madam you too seem like a troublemaker you’ve told her what you want to say since you can’t kick her out just act like she doesn’t exist. Before her nysc is up discuss with your hubby on when she’s leaving. My point is as long as you’ve told her your mind leave it. And stop carrying face up and down in the house (don’t ask me how I know you’re carrying face I can sense it from here ) Ps don’t try to pit your husband against his family it’s a battle you won’t win. FOCUS ON YOUR FAMILY!

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    1. Real family is husband, wife, and kids..all others are extended. Where did the Bible say, a man shall leave his house, carry mama, carry papa, carry siblings, carry cousins, carry nieces, etc with him? It only mentioned wife...smfh. I can never be treated anyhow, just cos of marriage. So all this disrespect is cos the poster married their brother?

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  44. Poster, whatever u do, don't go back to calling her aunty.

    It's good u called her out on her shenanigans as ur husband too can now finally see she's an unreasonable unrepentant girl with no proper upbringing


    And again, once she's done with her service, pls don't let such an ungrateful person stay with u. If people ask u question, explain what happened like u have explained to us. Only a witch will take sides with her after that

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    1. Madam don't allow those that don't know Yoruba culture to scatter your marriage o. Keep calling her aunty o. Call her Aunty o. But make sure she doesn't remain there after NYSC. You know how Yoruba culture works, pls keep calling her aunty for the sake of your marriage, don't allow one small girl matter to scatter your marriage o. Most men later take sides with their relatives when the shut gets hot o. She will go and you will have your home to your self.

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  45. why not get a washing machine for d clothes, and a hoysehelp that will clean the house,cos if u can afford to feed a grown in dis buhariconomics u can afford it...my advice

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  46. ...but it's your responsibility to change your baby na, some people don't like changing diapers especially when they don't have kids yet.

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  47. Poster let her be...she is a lady and will definitely become a woman someday.one good turn deserves another.

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  48. Madam Start giving her attitude so that she will not decide to stay for a day more after her NYSC. As in start firing her bumbum. Still be calling her aunty o, keep calling her aunty I repeat. but you know what I mean.
    She will know that she is not welcomed in your home. You can start by sending her on errands when she is around, even if she doesn't go, keep sending her. Also, spoil the TV. Yes, spoil it intentionally and don't allow your husband to fix it. Then get a small one and put in your room where you can your children can watch. She will get frustrated

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  49. Poster no get liver and the girl knows it. If una like make una para from now to tomorrow on her behalf, dem no dey sell strong mind for Shoprite. Imagine begging her to eat and use wrapper by force. LMAO. Wrapper that I will burn in her presence without asking her any question whatsoever.

    You better continue 'respecting' her and calling her 'hanti' jejely before your inlaw dem go change am for you patapata. Shebi you sef know say you no get shingbain mind. Except you save better money for account, get rich parents/siblings or don ready to leave the marriage if war start, better arrange body wella make you kneel down beg her fast o. In fact, call her mother to help you beg 'hanty' join. Tell dem say na devil been dey push you. Choi! Ndi 'Made in Nigeria' marriage, una doh o.

    LESSON: Never ever start what you can't finish. Never!

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    1. Exactly!! The low self-esteem of Nigerian women is out of this world

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  50. Sometimes I want to type my scenario but then again I wonder why I want to validate myself to people in a situation that will not change(random thots)

    My hubby's cousins relocated to lagos to live at my place.
    The one who came first had lived with MIL while I dated hubby so she had her earful already. She sha called me personally before she came.
    First it was the skimpy clothes, I closed eye, she bullied my help, that one na small thing I told help to stand I dey her back. Then if I scold her in the day, at night she will stage fainting spells along with foaming like epilepsy right in front if my guest especially hubby's friends or my Male guest. One day she did one that really scared me. Right in the middle of the market on a rainy day she fainted and started foaming, I consulted a doc who confirmed she is not epileptic. Omo that day my shock absorber broke as I was driving like mad. All na wash!!
    Last last I bone face, let her and her uncle sort themself out, as she take waka come na so she take waka go o. She fell in love with someone and moved in with the guy. Hubby para, my face was like what's my personal business in this matter.

    The person kicked her out, by then I don dey sing "no space in my house" " rooms under renovation and fumigation". That one can never come back Lai lai

    The second cousin who relocated from village was more gentler. Shes good but man will not allow her see road, hubby put her in Uni, part time program and by 2nd semester she had gotten part time job. I was impressed!
    I show am location where I get small small affordable items she can sell in uni, she started shopping wella. Sometimes I buy from her, I wont like she had a good eye, even picks out my clothes for my weekend outings.
    Small time she go disappear but that one normal,I cover for am, shes young, she get parole.
    Babe wey come 1 year ago come get iphone 6 and then she grews wings. As the iphone take enter i hear say she rent appartment and changed sims.
    The beginning of the problem sha was that the first cousin snitched on her to their uncle, my hubby, when she went on another waka as usual. She told me she was going to see an uncle in Abuja. the other cousin found out she was in ph. Hubby para again. She reached out to me but then I had my own issues to sort out.
    Hubby insisted that she must not come back and that's how she moved out.

    Me, I dont want anybody again cuz one thing I dislike in both of them was that their village people were always aware of everything that happened in my house. Mummy shout they hear, daddy buy car they hear, we travel, ahhh that one worse pass

    My own house is firmly controlled by me

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  51. Wooow, so BV resides in Ife. I'm in Ile-Ife too and it's nice seeing someone from our little town as a Bv. I will like to meet you ma'am.

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  52. I just don't know what to say to this 27 year old agbaya. Thank God your husband has seen her finish. I will say you should start ignoring her. Shebi she doesn't want to continue eating your food ni, no wahala na. Start ignoring her but don't let her know your mind. Just like I said before, start counting her days in your house. Don't give her your wrapper again, she should go to her mother or friend for a wrapper. Do your thing and let her finish her allawee on food. Her eyes will soon clear. Stop cooking for her and don't say things that she will hold against you. Good luck ma'am. Drop all these anty lagbaja and booda tamedo you've been calling those that are way younger than you ma.

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  53. hahahaha! I laugh in Latin. poster don't worry karma will clean your tears when time reach. My sisters in-law practically turn me to their house help 5yrs ago, they send me to cook their meal differently, wash their cloths including their pant but now what has happened to them all. one is married passing through hell in hands of her husband's Adanne, she can not complain to my husband blc i will eventually hear it but to the other siblings. my brother in law passing through hell in the hands of his new wife of just two years blc he is jobless, in fact he personally call my hubby to complained and wish he saw my type of person to marry. the last one is stock in the village and does not know how to tell his senior (my hubby) that she wants to join us knowing fully well we barely feed and after telling my hubby and I that she can't manage with us or eat without meat, that we should suffer our suffer alone. Although hubby was working and very comfortable when I join four of them including my husband. when things change they all ran to different locations with their saves which didn't take them through their whole live. so poster, learn from me, endure,pray every day for her to marry and leave your house.

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    1. Poster listen to this Advice right here

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  54. Stella 100% advice! God bless u.
    Nigerian mentality is crase!!!
    Myself have lived abroad for 27 yrs now. And i entertain guests or go to to people to bother with them. Nigerians r so petty. With their sharing..sharing nonsense! That's how get to exploit, spy upon, manipulate & take advantage of others.
    If u care so much for someone, then free them to go get their own or stay well on their own!! U can pay for hotel, guest house or rental accoodation rather than bring conflicts, bad energy or drama inside ur home.
    Person dey pass don't be silly!!!
    Why do have kids & expect house guest to babysit or clean, cook, do housework for u?
    Why / how do u bring somebody (whether family members or not) inside ur home & start bickering over food, cooking, housechores & personal issues?

    Oyibo / or people for abroad dey live alone for million dollars home & yet pay for hotel, guest house or outside accomodation for their guests & visitors. Not bringing them into the home.

    Nigerians r very petty & low minded.
    The next thing they'll quickly be counting calories even for ordinary water against their host or for the guest. Witchcraft things in dimension. Tufiakwa!!!

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    1. I’m very sure you cannot accommodate a full grown adult for one full year without having them lift a hand to help. Please sore us that abroad bull crap. Nigerians living abroad that count every penny.

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  55. You need to get rid of your entitlement mentality, if the girl wasn't there you would still be stressed out, from what I've read the only stress she has added to your life is not doing her dishes, you need to get a maid cause even after she leaves all these chores would still be piled up as usual. She should have washed her dishes though and cleaned up after herself. Since she doesn't eat your food i don't see why she is obligated to help you cook. Also why must she eat your food and wear the clothes you gave her, you want to force her to eat so as to guilt trip her into cooking for everyone, madam some people do not fall for emotional blackmail.

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  56. @27years, someone is still behaving like a little baby??
    My niece in Uni comes and goes. She cooks, cleans and washes some of our clothes any time she comes around and I don't joke with her at all. She is very reliable and I love her for this.
    Some in-laws are very stubborn! Just help them from afar if you really want to enjoy your marriage.

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