Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Sunday, March 03, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

WOW.....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
PROBLEMATIC MOTHER


Hello Stella ......

I cannot put this lightly, my mother is problematic and has no tact.
She reveals details about my life to people who I am no longer close to, or never close to at all. 

She recently revealed to 2 of our family friends that I haven't seen in 7 years that I have problems at work and I haven't been paid for 6 months. You will not even have to ask her before she starts saying everything. When I got the job, I told her not to tell anybody. When I was abroad for my masters, she came visiting and was calling everybody to tell them that I just graduated. She wanted everybody to know! When I came back she was so bitter that I returned.


 When I hadn't gotten a job, she told me not to come down to her place yet. Even when the conversation doesn't warrant it, she will tell me about 3 of my classmates who live and have settled abroad. Or her friend's children who went there and settled. But immediately I got this job, she was telling everyone about it. I wanted to lay low because we are being owed 6 months pay but she will be telling people about, which is humiliating.


Even normal gossip about other people that should be hush hush, she will be so loud and add maggie and salt. I mean extreme exaggeration.
Apart from this, she tells other lies and is very manipulative. After my dad died did I notice that she told us a lot of lies about him. They were separated before he died. Though he wasn't a saint but now I can see who was largely at fault.


Did I mention that she is problematic? During her eldest brother's burial ceremony, she complained about any food they gave her. I counted 4 times. She will say she doesn't eat fried meat or ask them to change the peak milk to cowbell. Or reject her amala because they put stew on it. Or reject the egg because of how they fried it.


Small small lies that don't even need to be said. She was born a Muslim but doesn't practice. When she is with her Christian friends, she will pray like a Christian. When she is with her Muslim friends she will pray like a Muslim. You will not be able to even tell the difference. I have no problem at all with her being a Christian, though I am not, I think it will be better for her to practise just anyone. 


I am a 30 year old. She will curse me and shout at me. Call me a fool in public. Recently, she threatened to break my phone and told me not to sit on the chair in the sitting room, because I refused to call our elder brother, to tell him that I got a job. I kuku say let me pack my things and leave and she locked me in the house for 2 days. I am only home now because people were killed around where I work (election violence).


Stella, I want you and the blog visitors to save me from hell fire. What we were made to believe is that heaven lies at the feet of your mother. I have stopped collecting money from her. Any money that enters my hand, I will manage it. Because that is what she uses to guage people before she insults them. Money, money, money. Immediately your financial status changes, her tune will change immediately.



At the age of 66, she is not encouraging any of us to get married. She said she's not in a hurry to be a grandmother. Meanwhile me and my sister have serious fibroids. Any time she hears someone is getting married or someone just became a grandmother, she will say that why are they rushing. That she is not competing with anybody to be a grandmother. That even her eldest sister who married very early is almost worshipping her because she is better than her financially. She has something bad to say about any good news.


Please nobody should tell me to pray. I have prayed. Nobody should tell me to have a heart to heart talk with her. I have done that. She will call her friends and tell them I insulted her, no matter how respectful I am. If I report her to her friends and sisters, she will lie. She is a very skilled gaslighter. She will make you start doubting yourself. 


And even when I am away from her, I have this deep resentment based on everything she has done. Is this how y'alls mothers behave?

What should I do?



*I dont even know what to say my dear!!!!....Why dont you move away from home?or you have?why dont you stay away from her for a while

127 comments:

  1. Na wa! Please stay far away from her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Move away from home and then stay away.. Call on phone to check on her once in a while, go home maybe like once every month. Most importantly, keep things away from her, don't let the know things about you.

      Delete
    2. Madam you are 30yrs old. Move out of that house and gain some respect and independence.
      She doesn't respect you because she has seen you finish.
      It is very hard for you to get a 66yr old to change. Why not stop telling her about things going on in your life.
      Your mother has lived her life. Start living yours. You are 30 your mother has nothing to do with you getting married. Take charge of your own life. You are talking like a 16yr old blaming all your life woes and inability to get married on your mother. Which is bad.
      Move out,and be going to visit her few times a month. If you meet anyone. Keep it to yourself until the man is ready to pay your bride price.


      Delete
    3. I believe this poster is the problem. Imagine telling us about how your mom prays with both Christian, and muslims. How is it your business? You wish she was Muslim, admit it. Your mom is actually down to earth, and knows what's up, except for not keeping secrets though.

      Delete
    4. This is straight forward personality disorder. Your mother needs your empathy instead of hate. However, people with personality disorders are better loved from a distance for your sanity sake. Best wishes

      Delete
    5. 1stbthing 1st move out of d hse. Me I blocked my mum everywhere the last time I went visiting I told her boldly. You r a WITCH!!!! Because is only an evil person that will deliberately want to harm his children with news they r asked to keep quiet! No contact whatsoever!!!! Na so e go b until she DIES. Then I go come chop correct Abacha for her head. Rubbish woman. Lied a lot about my father

      Delete
    6. This poster just described my mum I am so tired

      Delete
  2. Is it your mom that will encourage u to get married? I don't understand, are u a baby? What if she was pressurising by? Some women like to brag with their kids achievement, she's one if those, that's her persona, keep stuff away from her for ur peace of mind sha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So by broadcasting that her daughter has not been paid for 6 months she is boasting about her achievement abi.

      Delete
    2. Poster, the best you can do now is to stay far away from her. The moment the violence in your area is over. Call her only when necessary, you all should make her crave for your visits, stop telling things about yourself you don't want anyone to know about,keep praying for her,she really needs God's touching.

      Delete
  3. My papa, your mama... same whatsapp group. Except that pops doesn't add salt and maggi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Move out of that house fast!! Learn to hide details of what's happening in your life per time, just peripheral gists, nothing solid. She will nag, complain, and try to bully you for information but maintain your stand.
      Kapish?

      Delete
    2. Na woman sabi add salt and maggi,this one mama even add curry and thyme

      Delete
  4. Even though you did not tell us, but let me tell you; your mother is a regular at mediums! That is where such (evil) characters are acquired through eating and drinking spirits in Satan's temples. You did not tell us whom you worship but if you are a Christian, you will know that you do not stop prayer and fasting in this kind of matters until you see results. She probably began visiting mediums since before you were born. It is not surprising that her husband died, that she does not crave for grandchildren (which is an abnormality of course). Satan doesn't encourage families (you know the Eden story).

    Let me also tell you another one you do not know; your siblings aren't going to find it easy with relationships/marriages/raising families etc. Those are the hallmarks. Except all of you in unison begin to fast and pray until the yokes are broken.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster please ignore this anonymous. Prophecies that further put asunder in families.

      Just love your mum. Be good to her and know it in your heart that inspite of her character she loves you. Her talkative personality dose not make her evil. She is as good as she knows how to. No one can give what she does not have.

      Delete
  5. Eleyi gidi gan (this one strong )
    Poster just stay away from her, do not disclose anything about yourself to her. Kpele.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My mother, my mother . . . no be (Naija) women? All of una (girls) wey dey read am now dey call the woman winch, na same road una dey o. Na same wrapper una tie o. The characters (of Naija girls) wey I dey see for this blog eh, this woman go be better option of mother to most of una o. At least she no shoot off her own pikins them.

    Poster, make you manage am like that. Stay away and make you no stop to dey pray inugo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How many people called her a witch here?? Something is seriously wrong with you.

      Delete
    2. @Dainty T
      Check Ibukunoluwa 16:00
      Look very well, you go see someone don talk am; "this one strong",
      Me I don dey this blog for almost 8 years o. I sabi how we ladies dey think well well.
      Even when them silent, them dey talk loud for my ears.
      So? Make you coooooool down inugo. 😜

      Delete
    3. @Dainty T
      See, them don even give am certificate of winchcraft, you wan proof? Check am down @Finny:

      FINNY3 March 2019 at 15:57
      i swear she is a certified witch.

      Delete
  7. The best and the only way is to move out and far away from her. No other way around it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Move away from home.give her space.let me tell u something.never you allow anyone play God over your life.
    U can survive without her
    Free her.
    Let her be...
    U need to get urself...
    emotionally;psychologically;mentally and socially.u need to breathe u....
    Blank her for now..
    I and my dad has not spoke for over 6months cos he does not wish my Good...
    He calls ;no out of love but out of knowing what to carry to people ...I don't pick
    He is alive;I am alive!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was my mum to a T.i put her in her place lightly and calmly and that anytime she tries BS with me again I will embarass her. Since then she has changed. She was soooooo toxic, sharp tongue, always cursing, always in a mood,I questioned if she was my mum almost like she resented me for something( she was pregnant with me and married my dad who treated her badly and after all the sacrifices she made she left her and I look exactly like him) . I had to do alot of work on myself to bring myself to forgive her and help her be a better mum.!!!!!! Poster

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwwww
      I understand your mom too though
      She still feel the pains whenever she sees you

      Glad things are calm now

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Better start praying for deliverance. Your mother says you won't marry, your relationships don't last more than 3months and you are behaving as if it's ordinary.

      Delete
  10. Your mum has serious ocd a mental health disorder be gentle and understanding with her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some mothers are naturally like that

      Delete
    2. Yes. Be gentle with her and manage issues about her with love and understanding and wisdom.

      Delete
  11. Poster,i feel you.Mine respects you because of money and sows discord amongst her children with lies and manipulation.I have given her chance,i didn't sign up to be born and i choose peace of mind above everything!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same with my mother. None of her children speaks to each other; the wicked lies she has told us about each other, took me years to unravel. But she somehow manages to come across as the victim. I am very afraid that if our town's elders get to hear the extent of her misdeeds, they might banish her.

      Delete
    2. Hmmm...to the anons are you guys sure you ain’t my siblings...lol
      Because that is my mom. Maybe worse. I used to feel it was only us that have such a mother. Feeling sad hearing about people talk about their great relationship with their moms. So we are not alone. God will deliver us because its tough

      Delete
  12. your mom sounds like someone who grew up in an abusive environment and lacked love and care which transferred to adulthood and her home and family.this is manipulation at its peak.your mom needs help.like prayer and deliverance.it could also be spiritual

    ReplyDelete
  13. It is a lie that heaven is at your mothers feet, cut off from her, she is toxic

    ReplyDelete
  14. My mother has done worse than this and I have cut her off since 2015. Changed my number too in fact I have cut my whole family OFF join. I speak to noone except for my sis inlaw who i call once a year because she sabi but after i call her i break the sim so she cannot contact me. I tell her nothing about me but she dey download all the current happenings in my family for me and nothing has change so status quo will remain.

    Run away from your mother infact GHOST EVERYONE!

    My mother showed me sege spiritually but I serve a living God who delivered me now she have place her hand where it should be but still i no send nobody will see me till the time is right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella, you get people on this your blog o. Hian!

      Poster please dont listen to this anonymous. She is not healthy at all and should not be emulated. Na wah o.

      Delete
    2. Saphire I am the anon and my only prayer for you is may God bless you with a mother like mine and family like mine now and in your next life

      Delete
    3. If i should list the things my mum and her 3 wicked sisters have done to me we will be here till 2025.

      My mum boldly told me you cannot get married do you want to kill me!!!!

      So Saphire never in your life comment about someone's pain and actions they took to have peace of mind because you can never walk 2min in my shoes. Put some respek on my pain.

      I ran when her sisters wanted to kill me because of my mothers wealth. Wealth which she never spent on me but on them o.

      I am still the above anon

      Delete
  15. I have parents like this. The best thing is to move away from her, get a better paying job and send her small upkeep. For your sanity you need to leave such a toxic environment. Learn not to tell her anything and I mean anything about your life. She is a deeply unhappy and unfulfilled person and will never see anything good in anyone. I am also guessing that she is deeply resentful of anyone more successful than her while at the same time, she is quick to compare you to others. She seems to also have all the symptoms of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. I can say more but the long and short of it is run and keep contact to the barest minimum.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ran she is very toxic if not move to another city my mother is the same except she doesn't to church but witchcraft is killing her who said you should listen to her nonsens wakeup and look in the mirror be strong ran everything will be ok surround yourself with positive people

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well you said: no advice for prayer because you have prayed, prayer is not what you bank and you walk away. It is a continuous thing. Your MOM is a hardened Witch. You can Google how to live and treat such person since you can't pray.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i swear she is a certified witch.

      Delete
    2. I don’t appreciate you calling someone’s mum a witch very wrong of you

      Delete
    3. It's not that prayer doesn't work. Depends on the kind of prayer she's praying. If someone is praying for togetherness when God is saying to separate, what will be the result of the prayer?

      Delete
    4. So she should go and set her mother on fire cos you have certified her a witch. Somebody's mother!? The woman is clearly troubled and and has some disorder. Her daughter should find a way to cope but please dont label her a witch cos you dont know what that woman have been through in life that has thus affected her.

      Delete
    5. If her mum is a witch do you think she’ll live up to 30yrs?

      Delete
    6. She will live past 30yrs sef. you think say na all witches dey kill? some just torment.

      Delete
  18. The same bible that says we should honor our parents says parents should not provoke their kids to anger

    ReplyDelete
  19. ooooh Lord let me go amd buy my mom a bottle of her favorite wine for being the best mom in the world maybe i will add skycrown pepper kpomo coz she loves it. this kinda story freaks me to my bone marrow. how can ones own mother be so selfish and so self centered. God forbid but if there is ever a need for me to have a heart transplant and my mom is alive she will gladly give me her heart bfor the Doctors even ask. yet sometimes i even take her for granted by not returning her calls. this chronicle just opened my eyes to how lucky i am and how sometimes we get carried away by life distractions that we tend to forget the people that truly matters to us.


    sorry poster let me call my mom first iyamm coming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell her that some of us who were not as fortunate as you, are greeting her.

      Delete
    2. What is scary now is that a lot of people who commented above have this type of mother. Pls how are you people coping? How can a mother be hostile to her biological child.. Some of us don't appreciate what we have, my mum's love for me is amazing, even her grandchildren couldn't ask for a better grandmum. Pls poster stay away from her if that will give you peace of mind.

      Delete
    3. E-hugs anon 17:11. You have good heart consideringle the circumstances.

      Delete
    4. Many resentful
      Competing
      Jealous
      Selfish
      Mean
      Broken
      Women who shouldn't be having children

      Unhealthy
      Bpd/Narcissitic/Bipolar/Angry/Frustrated


      Hips, chest, beauty, height cant cover Ugly

      It goes both ways
      Men & Women
      Who are unhealthy emotionally /psychologically and burn others through marriage and parenthood


      Break the Cycle

      Delete
    5. My mum is worst. I told her to repent yesterday because I was tired of all her nonsense. Enough is enough so I faced her.
      Evil mothers everywhere. I wish I could say sweet things about my mother but it’s unfortunate. Where some people are celebrating their mothers I wish mine deserve to be celebrated.

      Delete
  20. Dear Lord, have mercy. What is really wrong with her.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Get it right you are under her spell. She is a very wicked witch. Only mountain of fire prayer can counter her. Meanwhile don't tell her your progress and your whereabouts.

    ReplyDelete
  22. She is ur mum nd u cnt do anything abt dat nd its important we part on gud terms with our patents.. My advise is, ΓΌ knw her well so manage her, avoid wat ΓΌ knw can cause problem, say less to her,if ΓΌ re ready get married or move out but do not abandon ur mum.. Ignore her shortcomings nd b d best daughter that ΓΌ can b to her, by doing this ΓΌ wont offend God.. So do not confront her bcoz of anger... Wisdom nd patience dear !

    ReplyDelete
  23. At your age you should have your own family,with or without your kind of mother

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you God?
      Mscheeewww.

      Delete
    2. Olodo. Who are you to dictate at what age a person should marry?

      Delete
    3. Na wah o. So she should manufacture a family for herself?

      Delete
    4. Dash her your family naa. Mumu talk.

      Delete
  24. If she's with Christians she prays like a Christian...if she's with Muslims she prays like a Muslim.......ajo ogpoho

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hmmmmmmmmmm,things like this can cause traumatic brain damage to someone.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Really painful. Please stay away from her. Don't tell her anything again.

    She is lukewarm. That is what God is saying. Neither hot nor cold. Please stay very far and don't let her know anything about you.

    The fibroid God will provide for you and your sister to do the surgery Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need for surgery.
      Please get moringa leaf fresh from the tree, wash them and put in a pot, get fresh grapes, peel and cut in two piece, get 5cloves of garlic, combine all and boil with clean water for at least 30mins.
      Drink a full glass every night before bed. That's how my sister was cured of fibroid... Bear in mind it tastes awful.

      If you need further guidance, send an email

      Delete
    2. Na wah oh! Anon 18:10 send an email to where?

      Delete
    3. Anon 18:10 what of the seed of the grape? Should we boil yhem together. What's your email?

      Delete
  27. Some mothers are like that. My mum doesn't curse us or anyone, she prays for us all the time, but she likes to tell people about our successes and that for us is the issue. The world is too wicked for you to expose your kids any how. So we decided to stop telling her stuff. As in nothing at all. We call her regularly, gist with her but keep it at politics and economy level. My siblings wont tell me things until I promise not to tell our mother. That way, we've enjoyed some peace and quiet. And she's got the message too because sometimes she says "you people keep things from me". I didn't tell my mum I was pregnant till I was nearly 8 months and was on bed rest. I didn't tell her when I got my uk residence permit. My siblings didn't tell her when they were relocating to Canada. They met her in the US and simply said they were on holidays with their families. Sometimes mothers mean no harm but they end up harming us out of undue exposure. Keep things to yourself...every thing if possible, no matter the pressure she mounts on you. My mother only knew about my trad wedding on the Tuesday of that week. My siblings and I planned it and bought everything because we didn't want her to go to the village to invite all the village people. So have a talk with your sister and work together at keeping your affairs away from her. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys are the real diplomats and secret service intertwined πŸ˜‚ It’s for the best so that you can progress and be safe. You are smart.

      Delete
    2. My father is just like your mother. Brags about everything and unconsciously exposes us to "village people"

      Delete
    3. My mum is sitting comfortably on this table. I know she means no harm, but i dont want all those exposure jooor

      Delete
  28. Poster, we are in the same shoe. The only difference is she doesn't mind being a grandmother now after using her mouth to destroy her children. Mine curses at the slightest provocation.
    Anytime she comes visiting, she must destroy my relationship. The man must leave me cause of what comes out of her mouth. Until I banned her from my house, I was able to meet and settle at late 30. And believe you me, we married abroad without her presence. Till now she has not set eyes on my 2kids, who live abroad. I only recognize her to fulfill the scriptures,not out of love.

    The best revenge is success. Am very comfortable but she does not know. She does not deserve to share in my comfort. She messed up our growing years with negativity.Just waiting for her last day.

    Pls try and make something out of your life and get away from her. I went and still going from church to church for spiritual Grace n favour for my sibling n deliverance. She is so ashame of herself now and can hardly ask for something from me. She is 71 now, Old and battered. When she was working she did not spend on her children, now her Pension not very regular.
    God will see you through this faze too. Go down on your knees.

    I wish i knew you when I was Recruiting for an organization.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Focusing on and strengthening your personal relationship with God is best, not going from church to church. Before you go and carry the one that's worse than the problem you went there with.

      Delete
    2. Please when next you are recruiting oooo...

      I'm here..😊😊

      Delete
    3. Most Mothers are evil , why? i pray that i dont become evil to my kids in Jesus name, Amen.

      Delete
  29. These are minor issues that you can neglect. I don't understand why you have a problem with her not disturbing you to get married. What if she was abusing and pressurizing you? Would you prefer that? Why did you refuse to tell your brother about your job? What's wrong if she decides not to practice Islam? What if she becomes an Islamic extremist? Is that your wish? I don't really see anything terribly bad about your mother to warrant this chronicle. If you think she's really bad, please stop visiting her and telling her details about your life.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I wanted to move out and she looked me inside for two days, ah ah anty you are 30years old and not three. please move out of that house for your peace of mind.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Save money,move out and live your life.I hate manipulative parents,they kill dreams.You should’ve moved out the moment you got a job sef.Youre an adult so I’m sure your mom can’t tie you with a rope,move out of that house immediately pls.If she frustrates you and you die she will liver her life o so use your head.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster stay away from her. Go and get your own place or stay with friends. Use your job as an excuse.

    Stop telling her anything about yourself including your job. She is indirectly selling you out. Be more prayerful.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Let me tell you a short story

    My neighbor’s son is a very good football player in fact he was the best in our locality,he got opportunity with four of his mates to travel overseas and play for a foreign team.
    His mother announced it to the whole world ,in fact the announcement reached their villa .
    On the day the boy was to travel,everything don set....as he was about setting his foot on the plane he tore his clothes and became mad....its been ten years now,he has gotten a little better but he still pick things from the ground to eat.

    No matter what I want to do in life,I will never tell a soul until I’m done with it.

    Can you run very far away from your mom?if yes pls do and never look back.
    Your battle is stronger than what you’re seeing



    How are y’all doing Bvs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are very correct. Sometimes i suspect my Mum too but, i dont want to be forward not to accuse her wrongly. i am in my late 30's and not married. No relationship ever gets pass 3 months. it is well o, God is still alive and doing great things.

      Delete
  34. ehen poster please stay the hell away from that toxic woman. dont let her know whats happening your life. just the basic and nothing more. if you have a date with the devil i always advice people to go with thier customised looong spoon. find a way of being cordial with her but not to the point she knows your every move.



    hian this one pass me abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Writer, you are 30 and you are still staying with your mom. Pls leave her home, find something decent and small proportion to your salary....with African parent, you have to earn your respect and place. Staying under their roof doubles the insult and injury.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I love my mum.God thank you for the mum you gave me o.God bless my mum.

    ReplyDelete
  37. You need to relocate from where your mum is. Start hiding things about yourself for your mum.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Lols na your mama! Manage am like that.

    She locked you in for 2days you say? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ gang star shit.

    Just look for a way to manage her excesses. If you wanna move out, move out without telling her you're going to. You're old enough to live on your own. You also do not need your mother to encourage you to get married or do whatever, make decisions on your own and stick to it. Do not let her know what's going on in your life, only tell her what you're comfortable with others knowing since she's a loud mouth. Wisdom they say is profitable to direct. Apply maximum wisdom when dealing with her henceforth. Good luck?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Someone once told me that the true test of a good manager is how they manage their superiors at home, work, church, mosque, etc.

    See you are being a very bad manager and thats quite poor for a 30 y/o. So what if you have a manipulative lying mother? What part have you played in managing that? As you have understood who your mother is, why not manage her excesses and yours? Must you tell her everything, if she has a big mouth? Why move back to her place cos of election violence? Dont you have friends you can put up with?

    Parents always worry and they will act in out in different ways. If i tell my parents any not-so-good news, they will be calling me every 12midnight to pray and cast and bind for at least one hour. Sending me voicenotes of prayer points every morning. Its quite annoying when its a minute issue, so I have stopped. Its only when its a big issue that I get them involved. Thats how I handle their own spiritual drama.

    If your mum says you should call a person and you dont want to, tell her you have heard. Dont blatantly say 'No I wont'. You trigger her control strings with that. Why do you need to tell her you havent been paid for 6 months? EVERY parent must worry about an unemployed child. And yes, foreign female masters degree holders usually dont return (you know as e be) so her expectations are in order. Its left for you to assure her that you are working on big things here in Nigeria and first to do no be lastest. Paint bogus pictures of your job or business ideas and let her be carrying the gist as she wishes. Tell her all the good good stuff while you keep praying for God to rescue you and He will.

    Sorry sha. But na your mama. Manage am

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You’re very correct
      If you have this kind of a parent,you don’t need to let them know things about you,it might not even be them but maybe someone they told who will want to hurt you like what happened to my neighbor.

      Delete
    2. bia ibukun abi kiloun peyi. otito ati rie na, fi respecti si orukoyi na abi kilonshele. I dey shame on your behalf shuo. you know what I mean,

      Delete
  40. I can relate though my mum is less problematic. She can be sweet one moment,the next moment she switches. Always quick to compare me with others until one day we had a heated argument and i was forced to warn her. God will keep be our strength till we are fully independent.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Mnwh, the good stuff you are telling her will not be the true things oh. Just send her on an endless journey while you are working on the real stuff lowkey.

    Cos if you keep mute she will get angry and still give you drama.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Tianaz Jewellery3 March 2019 at 16:26

    Enter your comment...we all have them in our families. move out and keep things about your self away from her.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poster, can you do a special type of ‘fasting’ ? Never mind that it’s your mother o, in the spirit realm there is nothing like mother or father, my mum was like this, I fasted for 21 days, calling her name and asking God to deliver me from her, I did not even kneel down once to pray, I was just talking in my mind telling God WHAT I WANT, you must not eat PEPPER, PALM OIL OR SALT. My mother is my puppy now. She is my greatest voltron. I dealt with her ‘witchcraft’ spirit ! This is not a joke o! The same bible says parents should not provoke their children to anger. You must not eat anything that has to do with palm oil, salt or pepper, you must break with ONLY FRUITS, either at 12 noon 3pm or 6pm. When anyone is on top your matter and you can do this fast, if the person doesn’t change NA TO RUN MAD O! My mum nearly ran mad but God had mercy on her. She changed instead. I lost a lot of weight during the 21 days 😊 which was good for me anyway. THIS IS NOT A JOKE ! I wish you good luck and there is no need to PHYSICALLY fight your mum.

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    1. Thank you so much for this insight. God bless you. White fast no easy sha o, me wey sabi eat pepper and salt.

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  44. Dear poster, my mother is like your mother. And she is a respected pastor in a really big church in Nigeria.

    I've been married for more than 3yrs now, but my mother doesn't know. Not yet. Even when she mentioned how someone in her church was congratulating her "cos her daughter got married in a big way in our hometown", I panicked. My father's family is royal and cos my father's brothers were trying to cause problems, my traditional marriage was done in the palace - which is why it became a big deal. I said her informant must have been talking about one of my paternal cousins since we have the same surname. My female cousins and I look so alike, that only way strangers can tell us apart is our heights and complexion; I'm the fairest. Fortunately for me, the informant that told my mother had no pictures. I reminded her that as she's not in good terms with my late father's people, they won't invite her to their children's weddings. It's easy for her to believe cos I still bear my maiden name (but it's for professional and security reasons). All my married paternal cousins bear maiden name then their husband's name.

    I couldn't and still can't tell her. Her younger sister knows but hasn't told her. Just dropped hints about how my mother's plans have backfired. You won't believe my mother has kept old faded notes, etc from like 20yrs ago that she says are evidence of how my father's people did her wrong. Why? So that she will bring them out on the day of my traditional marriage to resume wahala with my father's people! She knows that going to the king is an option, but no. She planned to collect my brideprice with my youngest brother that said I will never be anything in life. I know my father's people are bad, but knowing what I know now, I doubt whether the way she said some things happened is how they really happened. My mother lies and seeks sympathy as if she's being paid to do so. I have prayed, cried, begged, fasted, everything you can think of - and I have finally given up.

    Because she truly believes I am single, she & my younger brother use it to abuse me. How I don't have money, can't I sell my body as my mates are doing, etc. She has no idea how much my husband and I are really worth. Or that I could very easily buy her a house within 48hrs in any part of the town where she lives. She has no idea where my husband and I really live cos I can't trust her & her mouth - before armed robbers visit my enemy. And she doesn't realise the only reason I stepped foot in her house after all these years, is because my husband told me to come and check if she has changed. Because an announcement will be made soon.

    This morning, I thought about it all and cried because my mother will never change. I made my peace with the fact that when the announcement is made, it will be said that I am motherless in my mother's lifetime. And I asked God to break every link & soultie between me and her.

    The point of this story is to let you know, poster, that some mothers are just toxic. Don't be bitter, there's no point. Ask God to deliver you and break that soultie, then move on.

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    Replies
    1. This your own mama off me
      Some parents can be toxic

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    2. Make e no off you, oh. There's a reason some of us keep quiet when people tell us to manage the situation & be patient. "Cos after all, you only have one mother". One poster is vibrating cos someone mentioned witchcraft. I have seen my mother wake up at midnight, call someone's spirit, say certain things, then say she is sending the spirit back. I asked what she's doing, she said she's praying and giving orders to the person in the spirit. I asked her in the name of which god is she calling anyone's spirit out of their body at all, never mind at midnight. In what part of which Bible she learned such a method of spiritual warfare. And what she thinks will happen if that person's spirit cannot make its way back in peace & on time. I know only one phrase for this kind of practice, but strangers on this blog will come for me & misquote Bible if I say it. I've told her the day she will try this stunt with the spirit of someone who is really bornagain, she will know how far. I don't know if she has stopped. Like I said before, she's a pastor in a very popular church; I don't know if this is how all of them pray, or if it's just her.

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    3. Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere3 March 2019 at 18:37

      Anon 17.51 you know this generation of Christians don’t realise that ‘principalities’ are laying hands on them, preaching to them, the church choir is filled with them. There is so much God revealed to me about this world that I cannot begin to say it. Anon maybe your grand mum gave it to your mum. Try and block her from passing it to you o! I am sure you know what your mum is. Protect yourself.

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    4. Iya Iya! Welldone oh and don't disappear again oo, na beg i dey beg you

      Delete
    5. Iya Iya! Welldone oh and don't disappear again oo, na beg i dey beg you

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    6. I am fully aware of what she is, because God has been merciful to me and showed me clearly more than once. It's her gullible church members that she can deceive, not me. I pity all the people that jump into anywhere they say is a church and allow any and anybody lay hands on them, or prophesy into their spirit. That's how they will be on their way to hell cos they have carried witchcraft without realising how. I don't know where she got her own, but I have refused that kind of evil inheritance in Jesus' Name. It has to die with her cos as surely as God lives, never again will this kind of horrible story be told of my lineage. My bloodline will serve the Living God, and only Him. The hiding of my marriage and everything to do with my husband, is very deliberate - I have seen firsthand just what kind of evil my mother is capable of. And my husband can't be a prey for her and her coven. Let her use her own life instead, since she has refused to repent.

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    7. I don't understand all this ooo @ anon 03:19 if she is a witch as you claim I suppose they see spiritually so how come she has not seen and known that you are married? Shebi dem dey get monitor? How come you claim you are hiding the fact that are married from her and even had children? and she doesnt know? as a witch? I doubt it except she's not a real witch because she for don see am for their coven.

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    8. Dear Anon 09:07 - it is the glory of God to conceal a matter and the honour of kings to search it out. A witch doesn't have kingly status before God, so has no right to access certain information. I'm a daughter of the most high God with a covenant on my life & when I ask Him to cover me, He does. Especially if I didn't do anything stupid to uncover myself. Either you won't see anything at all, or you will see just what I want you to see. Even if we're related by blood, the blood of Jesus is stronger. So, it's not everywhere I am called, that I appear. Even people who are full of the Holy Spirit, don't see everything all the time because they're not God. Even genuine prophets of God only see or hear in part. How much more a counterfeit or mere monitoring gadgets that can be shattered by the fire of God? Taaaa!!! How will you see something that's hidden under the blood of Jesus?

      Believe me, my mother knows only what I have agreed with God to allow her to know or believe. If not, she would have known when my marriage was being planned. Yes, it was done quickly but it didn't happen overnight. To show you how vested God is in my matter, the person who could have proved it, didn't have pics. My mother's sister sees her every week and laughs. My mother bumped into my father's sister in the market, and that one didn't say anything. In the past 3+ years, my mother has met people who could easily say something, but God.

      Am I afraid of her? No. There's a reason we're not supposed to say everything, behave anyhow and believe we will come out unscathed cos God will save us. God saving someone isn't always making a way through the Red Sea or sending fire from Heaven; sometimes, it's in hiding His own in a cave. If you come out of your cave before your appointed time and anything happens to you, you will learn the hard way that the God that was covering you isn't a fool.

      When some of us tell people to hold God tight and know Him, so that He can show you secret things and you will not always be a prey - some of you don't hear. You'll be following pastors upandan.

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    9. I shiver when i hear things like these. How can a Mother be wicked to her own child?

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    10. Waoh @ anon 11:36 thanks a lot for taking out time to reply me. This has strengthened my faith! Thank you

      Delete
  45. Poster stay away from her, don't tell her or anyone your plans. I didn't believe my mother was behind my problems,was praying against someone else's . I started attending a church where the prophets were dropping hints about my mum but I was too blind to see it, so I was given some Bible verses, I kept praying asking God where my problems came from, God will not reveal anything to you till you can accept the truth and you are mentally ready.
    The first sign was my mother called me and told me whenever am praying at midnight I should always curse my mother in law, I have never told anyone that I wake up at midnight to pray, not even my mum I was shocked,when she realised that she quickly change it that what she meant was anytime am praying as she felt my mother in law is the one behind my problem I should curse her. God revealed alot about her to me, she knows that am aware now but I pretend like I don't know, I am not close to her like before and I don't tell her anything. I just send her monthly keep.

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    Replies
    1. I'm also on your table. And when any pastor talks about mother being behind someone's problem, I would shout and vibrate. Till I honestly asked God to show me the secret of my life. Like yours, my mother knows I know. I've kept her at arm's length, abeg.

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    2. That is exactly what i am doing. send her pocket money, but nothing will she know about me again. she has lost that motherly right since she chose to be evil.

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  46. Poster, I think you should take this advice. Losing weight is not an issue. Who weight epp if your life is on fire? I did something similar; if not...

    And do NOT physically fight your mother, no matter the provocation.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Awww! Poor baby. Unfortunately, my darling, we don't get to choose our family members. Being born into a particular family is purely an accident of birth. When life deals you the wrong hand of cards, you have to make the best out of the situation you find yourself in.

    Honey, we're talking about your mum, this isn't some obnoxious boyfriend that you can end the relationship and "move on". However evil or repugnant she may be, she's still your mother. You wouldn't be here if she decided to terminate the pregnancy which turned out to be you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not applauding her in anyway nor trying to downplay your agony, I just want you to remember that no matter what, she's still mum.

    Your options are painfully limited, unfortunately. From the way I see it, it's either you bite the bullet and move out or you stay put and endure. Darling, your resentment is already clouding your mind. I giggled at the fact that you're even upset that she isn't putting pressure on you guys to get married. Isn't that a good thing? Can you imagine if you had to cope with that additional stress? You're so upset with mum that even if she serves you breakfast in bed, you'll probably say she did that because she doesn't find you worthy to eat on the dinning table.

    Whatever you decide to do, you have to start learning how to let go of the anger and resentment because it will turn you into a very bitter and highly irritable lady and that will mess up any relationship you try to have with a man. I'm not sure of the relevance of fibroids in your narrative, are you holding mum responsible for that too? Darling, you are a 30 year old young lady, surely you can take care of your medical issues, no? You have to take responsibility for some stuff too, you know?

    Now that you know what your mum is capable of, you have to apply wisdom. Keep important things to yourself till they materialise. Try to ignore her quirks as best you can. Please don't rush into any relationship or use marriage as an escape route. You think living with mum is hell? Try living with the wrong partner. And yes, keep praying. You can't rule prayers out, it all depends on your prayer points. Prayer changes things, true talk. I hope everything works out well for you.

    e-hugs and kisses.

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    1. *gasps* where have you been all this while? Thought you left the blog. Hope you are back for good

      Delete
    2. Young lady , you better find the best thing in your mum and accept her . Do not see major issue with your mum , rather you . And if your mother I
      Inlaw is like this , will
      You abandon your marriage . I found your Attitude petty. You better hug your mum and tell her how my h u love her t. At least you did not complain of her being a witch. As per fibroid is your mummy a doctor. She will rather advise you to use Agbo, is that what you want. Pls stop your petines
      My my. Will not have you as hers for 1k, appreciate urs

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    3. Ronalda!! Good to have you here again. Hope you're doing fine...e-hugs & to you also

      Delete
  48. Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere3 March 2019 at 17:15

    Poster I can tell you FREE OF CHARGE that your mum is part of a coven. It is either white or black and from what you have said , your mum definitely belongs to the black side. They are very wicked, they really don’t like babies, they donate their children and unborn children for promotion in their coven, they hate when good things happen but are perfect at masquerading their anger with fake smiles, poster this is Africa, stay ‘woke’ a lot of women are in one coven or another, I have aunties that were like this, tush aunties o, the ones that ‘tried me’ na cane I take flog them for dream. Now they call to pray for me on the phone, lol, They comot mouth and hand for my matter immediately. You cannot stop praying and fasting o because deliverance lies therein, there is no other way. I don’t know why a woman will have spiritual powers and will not use it to make herself and children comfortable.

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  49. Your mother is a narcissist

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  50. My life this moment... i have been asking God how i ended up with my mother as the woman who gave birth to me. I have cut her off... i can't continue o, i just see myself as an orphan. God is my father and mother.

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  51. I am not surprised that you and your sister have fibroids. The stress of living with a toxic mother manifested the tumors in your reproductive system. Could your mother be suffering from a mental illness? One does not have to be crazed running naked in the streets to be mentally ill, your mother fits the profile of someone who is mentally ill. Please get out of that home and once you are settled encourage her to seek psychiatric help. A woman pushing 70 is usually more than ready to see grandchildren. Leave her place and help her from a far.

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  52. Discuss only random things with her. Keep to yourself for your peace of mind.

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  53. Just google and research Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths . You will understand your mother better. You wont need anybody to tell you what to do

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  54. Hmmm.... I marvel at what I read about mothers here today... Oh the love of my hearth, my mother my joy! you were all I had but the cold hands of death took you away from me. Today make it exactly 1 year that left this world and today make it exactly 1 year that my life transform into a nightmare.... May the Good God that I serve reserve a special place for you in Paradise. All the good life we ur children were not able to give you, may your creator give you in double portion. Ameen....
    Rest on MA'MI!

    ReplyDelete

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