Sunday In House Gist -When There Is No Will To Protect The Spouse...
Are you out of your hubby's house because he died and your in laws threw you out with the kids?Did you manage to leave with anything or did you manage to get back all what was taken from you?How did you survive this situation?
A Male BV was out on Tuesday and ran into a situation....
He says....
''On Tuesday, while I was in the market, I saw a young woman weeping because her late husband's family chased her and her children out of the house. I feel this wickedness on widows has gone on for too long in our society and as people of the press, it would be great if you used your platform to talk more on this issues and help protect them, we need to realize that issues like this isn't their fault and in as much as we lose someone dear to us, they (widows or widowers) are also grieving as well.
Let us spread the word and tell men to find a way to protect their spouse ahead ...(God-forbid before they die)''
Watch the video of the woman crying and explaining!!!
Wives, make sure you know for certain that you are the NEXT OF KIN on all necessary documents. No sentiments. Don’t just sit down eating and getting fat in the house! You are not wishing death on your hubby but you need to tie up loose ends! For me , na joint ownership of everything. Stay ‘woke’
shut up and stop bragging. anyone can fall victim. you think they can't still throw you out even if na you build the house. just pray never to fall victim.
@perxian, in Nigeria if you are confident, they say you are arrogant. They forget that not everyone is hungry and some of us know the God we serve. See how children growing up abroad are fearless, bold and confident compared to their Nigerian counterparts that are timid and fearful because that’s how their parents are. Sad!
Certainty @Iya, exposure would do a lot of Nigerian women good. We can only hope interactions like this can bridge the gap and diminish seeing exposure and confidence as threat.
NOK isn't an affirmative you have the property. Ones partner needs to do a will, in the absence of a will and any family member get a letter of administration from the court, automatically the properties belong to the family member. LOA is issued by the court and this will be given to the applicant after a specific period, the period is for the court to notify the public and if nobody comes forward to contest it the LOA is issued, this means u go enter court taya.
But why do people do this, my aunt's husband lost the brother. That same day, he was already calling the deceased wife, him and his other brothers even visited the family. My aunt was so angry at the husband. This is a man that left young kids, nobody was asking about the kids welfare, they were just after what they will pocket.
I will understand if the man doesn't have kids, but when he does. Is it not common sense that should tell you that the properties are for the children, why take everything and leave them with nothing. Men should also wake up, writing a will is very important, even in the US, if you don't have a will, the government and lawyers will feed on your money. Even if you are too stubborn and won't put your wife's name, don't neglect your kids, all the money you are chasing is nothing if your kids don't enjoy it. I know of my mom's customer, this man doesn't really have much, after closing his shop in the evening he will come to my mom's shop, to pick things for the kids, almost everyday, if he doesn't have the money, he pays some part of it. you will think the kids are big man pikin, what of their school, he is ready to do any job to afford their school fees.
If you are a man and you don't look out for your kids in life and in death, then you should hide your head in shame
Of course the widow should move on and if she wishes get married, with or without kids. Why I emphasized on kids, is because they are the ones mostly affected.
@Eka joy, one guy like that I know, hustled for years in south Africa, came back to settle down, after a year got married and died after some months. The wife wanted to make noise about property, the people asked her where she was when the husband spent years in jail, the husband was a bastardly rich man. Our society is different from other developed countries, where women's right is very important. And the man doesn't even have a will which is another thing. in this case, the brothers, sisters , and parents shared everything among themselves, and unfortunately they were not considerate enough for the young widow.
My joy is that she is married now with kids.
The koko be say that men and women should write wills just in case anything happens.
Not only to write wills women should also make sure that whatever property they acquire with their husband, she should write her name , corrcetly spelt out e.g Mr John and Mrs Jane Okeke not Mr and Mrs John Okeke. Please let's all be wise, nobody is wishing for death or divorce bolut unfortunately if it happens, you should have something to fall back on, instead of leaving broken and empty.
you kept hammering on the kids. How about the wife??? Chai!!! women have suffered. The wife and his kids come first before any rubbish extended family. mtcheww
You sef hammer on the wife na. Can't you reason that the kids and the wife will always be together in this case, you people will leave the most important point stated and start forming what I don't know. Make your own comment, not mentioning the widow is an oversight, will the wife leave the kids? of course No. All these stories are real and not fabricated and is a common fact that most family of a dead man, always do this. Is now left for men and women to stay woke, everything is not fight in this case. Happy Sunday
I have questions my people. What if they man dies without leaving a will? What will be the sharing formular especially if it is a polygamous home.? Who will share it. Lawyer, government or family Head? What is the procedure?
Bikonu, another question. What if next of kin on different properties are different. What will happen. Like next of kin in office is different from next of kin on land issue or another company.
Even if the husband died without will,its not good to chase his family out, after all she has kids for him,so where should they go ? Some families are just heartless and its common with people from the eastern part ,its not good at all and such people just lack the fear of God and empathy.I hate reading this stuff,its saddening....
Na this kin thing (finances/asset management etc.) them suppose discuss for courtship to know whether them dey the same lane. But for Naija Sisis? Mbanu Na to fill every place with fork. Them go dey find million naira rings, snap foto dey upload even from hotel bathtubs come dey prepare for wedding day. "I can do anything I like with my money, his money na our money bla bla bla" Ngwanu, after wedding (day), them just discover say na them hold the short end of the stick. Ndi Pharisee, marriage no be fork o and instagram uploads.
Very sensitive issue and you are yarning dust!! Are you unstable?
What is there to discuss during courtship? Please do a will immediately after we get married so that when you die your family won't chase me and the kids out or how should it be discussed??
Mr/Madam know all please advise us.
Even the issue of life assurance is still not totally accepted in Africa.
Always showcasing your stupidity with flying colors on every post.
Yarn ya own make I yarn my own; blog dey wide inugo? If you no like "my stupid yarns" scroll pass na. So in your mind, "there is nothing to discuss during courtship?" Okay, so na only fork you dey do during courtship? Congrats. Keep forking and marrying strangers inugo. That thing na ya last name; e plenty ooo. Hahahaha
Na you write that first ghost reply there. I don dey watch you for under my comments. Well done o. Make you dey chop that ya banga soup (stupidity) well well dey lick finger inugo? And wetin you no sabi be say I get talent to catch ghosts. 😆😆😆😆
Pervert oshi. Everyday fork fork like a pervert. I hope there are no kids around you?? You need to be monitored closely, were alaso. Go and advise your sister, daughters, nieces and all the females around you. Abi you don advise them finish? Tell them to make sure they discuss "Will" mattere before they get married to any man, Imbe.
@20:39 Chai, the kin bitterness wey dey ya heart eh? If you come hate me wey you no sabi like this, how you go hate people wey hurt you? E no too serious, na opinions we dey exchange for sdk blog so. Me I dey happy o. I no hate you at all at all. Chineke mere gi ebere.💕🤷♀️💋
I had two friends then. Nneka and nkiru. Their mom was found dead in ugbague in Benin. All the while the kids felt momsi was a cleaner. After her death. The fridge and foam and few items the woman bought their uncle's wanted to come and take them. Their dad abandoned them when they where younger. So the girls had to remove the things and share in neighbours houses. They had only themsleves Nneka and nkiru I miss u guys so much...
He's still alive but trust me, if anything happens to him today, his people will throw me out and accuse me of killing him. Right now they ganged up against me and threw the kids and I out calling me all sorts of name and humiliating me publicly. God is watching. My offence is that I refused to give their son money.
Use the money to set urself up.if you can move to another state pls do. Na so ma mom try suffer for nonsense. A man who allows his family mistreat his spouse talkless of the kids ain't a man
Tenth you are very right. All the fights we have ever had is caused by his people. He tells them every damn thing. Every damn move and they advice him accordingly.
I turned a widow last year at age 30..Didnt have any children cos none came,ivfs failed..After his death i left with just d car he got 4 me.I have his atm.but dnt knw d pin..Been trying to get d letter of administration from d court to take to the bank...His family aren't bad.But this is a man i suffered wit for 7years (got married at age 23)not a penny to start my life with..His friends had to raise money for me...I pray no woman goes thru the ordeal of being a widow
Nobody has the right to question you or beat you down with words! Ignore all the horrible people that will want to make you feel bad, they are many on this blog and they have chased away a lot of people that made this blog interesting 3/4 years ago. Just start a business and believe God for a fresh new start.
When you ask most of these men to write their will, they start asking if you want to kill them or what makes you think they will die before their spouse.
The best thing my late father did for us was leave a will,when he died,his things were shared equally....and the one thing i respect my uncles for,was ensure that the will was respected....
My mum played a major role though...my king died of cancer..doctors told us he was going to die..he had no will,it was on his dying bed,my mum went to meet him privately,knelt down and begged him to pls not leave her like that,that she is the only man she ever knew(cuz she met hin at 18yrs) married for 23yrs..that he should write a will...trust african men,he was mad at her at first and told her that so she had given up on him...my mum left him...and immediately he called his lawyers...the matron agreed for him to see his lawyers ,because they said he was still very much mentally sound...
My dear ..my mum was a wise and bold woman,who knew her husband.. nd my dad was the mature husband who listened to his wife...believe me you...we would have been in hell...cuz everything wud have gone away...
Men ...women..please write a will especially when u start having a family...or make ur next of kin ur family.
That is how I asked my ex husband to write a will when we were still married and he said I was planning to kill him.This man had a company which he started and ran alone and had his younger brother put down as a director. At this point I had 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) for him. He even told his elder brother, who sent me an email telling me that they live for long in their family. I told my ex husband then that as his 'potential killer' he should not include my name in the will but just the kids. He said his brothers will not throw us out if he dies. He mentioned the younger brother (the director). I told him to mark my words, and that he could tell anyone that I said so, that this particular brother will be the first to throw us out of the house.
Few months later, he got paid for a job and the younger brother started fighting him for his cut on the basis that he is named as the company's director. I just laughed. Even though my exhusband saw this as a sign that I was right, he still did not write a will.
Anyway, I have learnt not to rely on him for anything. I am lucky to be independent with the ability to leave him (moved to abroad with my kids) and start a new life.
But God knows that if he dies before me, I will make sure that my kids receive what is rightfully theirs.
I really feel for women that are helpless and unable to be independent or fight. I understand that everyone's story is different. I pray that God helps this poor widow and other widows.
So many women and children have suffered upon the death of a husband/father. A widow with daughters was thrown out by her in laws after the death of her husband with the excuse that she has no son.
My father was a public servant who died intestate, for every property he had,we paid 20% depending on the state bfor we could assess the account. So we excluded lands,cars etc. And only got letters of administration for his bank accounts and shares. For not having a will,we paid 20% of the total amount and it took months to get the money. My point, write a will so ur family don't end up wit less than they deserve. Thank God we quelled any extended family long throat, even beat up a silly uncle join. Na we and our mama chop the one govt remain for us. Men pls use ur wife and son as next of kin. I saw many failures of husbands during my sorting my dads loa. Widows cried when the bil took all the gratuity giving them little or none. Men write it will,u can just will it to the kids.
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Wives, make sure you know for certain that you are the NEXT OF KIN on all necessary documents. No sentiments. Don’t just sit down eating and getting fat in the house! You are not wishing death on your hubby but you need to tie up loose ends! For me , na joint ownership of everything. Stay ‘woke’
ReplyDeleteshut up and stop bragging. anyone can fall victim. you think they can't still throw you out even if na you build the house. just pray never to fall victim.
Deleteyou see bragging, i see a confident woman that has her own. But yeah, anyone can fall victim..woke or sleep.
Deleteode!! how is she bragging? And what do you mean by they can throw you out of a house you built? mtcheww
DeleteAnon 14:33 did i hear you well? Throw who out even if its my house? Are you dreaming or drunk when you typed this?
Delete@perxian, in Nigeria if you are confident, they say you are arrogant. They forget that not everyone is hungry and some of us know the God we serve. See how children growing up abroad are fearless, bold and confident compared to their Nigerian counterparts that are timid and fearful because that’s how their parents are. Sad!
DeleteHow is she bragging?? Mumu!! you better go and have your own
DeleteCertainty @Iya, exposure would do a lot of Nigerian women good. We can only hope interactions like this can bridge the gap and diminish seeing exposure and confidence as threat.
DeleteMy dear in Nigeria even if u r next of kin they still do terrible things to u. This is something that we as a society have to work on.
DeleteNOK isn't an affirmative you have the property. Ones partner needs to do a will, in the absence of a will and any family member get a letter of administration from the court, automatically the properties belong to the family member. LOA is issued by the court and this will be given to the applicant after a specific period, the period is for the court to notify the public and if nobody comes forward to contest it the LOA is issued, this means u go enter court taya.
DeleteSo sad
ReplyDeleteI broke off an engagement after i withnessed my fiancée's action against his late brothers wife.
DeleteThe young man died in a car accident 2 days after his own wedding and the bride was accused of killing him. How? I asked. My fiancée said the new wife was the one calling her new husband to hurry back home cos they had guests waiting for him at home. That it was in his haste to get home that he had an accident and died therefore she killed him! They took the girls phone locked her up in a room...a girl that fainted at the terrible news! Thank God her family found a way to smuggle her out of that village one night and my fiancée was furious!
I hated him after that experience and when i took a walk from him, i counted it as part of my grievances against him in the presence of his uncles.
Sapphire thank you for taking a walk from that wicked family.
Delete@ sapphire, the guy is very wicked and heartless. Thank God you left the idiot.
DeleteThank God you valued yourself enough to leave him Saphire. He is a monster-in-waiting.
DeleteBut why do people do this, my aunt's husband lost the brother. That same day, he was already calling the deceased wife, him and his other brothers even visited the family. My aunt was so angry at the husband. This is a man that left young kids, nobody was asking about the kids welfare, they were just after what they will pocket.
ReplyDeleteI will understand if the man doesn't have kids, but when he does. Is it not common sense that should tell you that the properties are for the children, why take everything and leave them with nothing.
Men should also wake up, writing a will is very important, even in the US, if you don't have a will, the government and lawyers will feed on your money. Even if you are too stubborn and won't put your wife's name, don't neglect your kids, all the money you are chasing is nothing if your kids don't enjoy it. I know of my mom's customer, this man doesn't really have much, after closing his shop in the evening he will come to my mom's shop, to pick things for the kids, almost everyday, if he doesn't have the money, he pays some part of it. you will think the kids are big man pikin, what of their school, he is ready to do any job to afford their school fees.
If you are a man and you don't look out for your kids in life and in death, then you should hide your head in shame
Why will u understand if the man doesn't have kids??? Do u think a childless widow deserves to be thrown out?
DeleteYou centered more on the kids and almost totally ignored the widow
Even a childless woman deserves properties my dear. Didn't she also labour with the man?
DeleteOf course the widow should move on and if she wishes get married, with or without kids. Why I emphasized on kids, is because they are the ones mostly affected.
Delete@Eka joy, one guy like that I know, hustled for years in south Africa, came back to settle down, after a year got married and died after some months. The wife wanted to make noise about property, the people asked her where she was when the husband spent years in jail, the husband was a bastardly rich man. Our society is different from other developed countries, where women's right is very important. And the man doesn't even have a will which is another thing. in this case, the brothers, sisters , and parents shared everything among themselves, and unfortunately they were not considerate enough for the young widow.
DeleteMy joy is that she is married now with kids.
The koko be say that men and women should write wills just in case anything happens.
Not only to write wills women should also make sure that whatever property they acquire with their husband, she should write her name , corrcetly spelt out e.g Mr John and Mrs Jane Okeke not Mr and Mrs John Okeke. Please let's all be wise, nobody is wishing for death or divorce bolut unfortunately if it happens, you should have something to fall back on, instead of leaving broken and empty.
Like seriously. You're still defending your insensitivity.
Deleteyou kept hammering on the kids. How about the wife??? Chai!!! women have suffered. The wife and his kids come first before any rubbish extended family. mtcheww
DeleteYou sef hammer on the wife na. Can't you reason that the kids and the wife will always be together in this case, you people will leave the most important point stated and start forming what I don't know. Make your own comment, not mentioning the widow is an oversight, will the wife leave the kids? of course No. All these stories are real and not fabricated and is a common fact that most family of a dead man, always do this. Is now left for men and women to stay woke, everything is not fight in this case. Happy Sunday
DeleteI have questions my people.
DeleteWhat if they man dies without leaving a will?
What will be the sharing formular especially if it is a polygamous home.?
Who will share it. Lawyer, government or family Head?
What is the procedure?
Bikonu, another question. What if next of kin on different properties are different. What will happen. Like next of kin in office is different from next of kin on land issue or another company.
DeleteEven if the husband died without will,its not good to chase his family out, after all she has kids for him,so where should they go ? Some families are just heartless and its common with people from the eastern part ,its not good at all and such people just lack the fear of God and empathy.I hate reading this stuff,its saddening....
ReplyDeleteNa this kin thing (finances/asset management etc.) them suppose discuss for courtship to know whether them dey the same lane.
ReplyDeleteBut for Naija Sisis? Mbanu
Na to fill every place with fork.
Them go dey find million naira rings, snap foto dey upload even from hotel bathtubs come dey prepare for wedding day.
"I can do anything I like with my money, his money na our money bla bla bla"
Ngwanu, after wedding (day), them just discover say na them hold the short end of the stick.
Ndi Pharisee, marriage no be fork o and instagram uploads.
Common get out of here with your usual stupidity.
DeleteVery sensitive issue and you are yarning dust!! Are you unstable?
What is there to discuss during courtship? Please do a will immediately after we get married so that when you die your family won't chase me and the kids out or how should it be discussed??
Mr/Madam know all please advise us.
Even the issue of life assurance is still not totally accepted in Africa.
Always showcasing your stupidity with flying colors on every post.
@16:08
DeleteNee flying color unstable stupidity?
Yarn ya own make I yarn my own; blog dey wide inugo?
If you no like "my stupid yarns" scroll pass na.
So in your mind, "there is nothing to discuss during courtship?"
Okay, so na only fork you dey do during courtship?
Congrats. Keep forking and marrying strangers inugo.
That thing na ya last name; e plenty ooo. Hahahaha
God bless you @anon 16:08. The stupidity of that anon is getting out of hand. U can imagine discussing such with your fiancé. the sad part is that foolish anon has never said anything intelligent, always the same broken record over & over again. I think Stella should start using his/her comment to cook banga soup.
Delete@17:20
DeleteNee out of hand banga soup stupidity?
Na you write that first ghost reply there. I don dey watch you for under my comments.
Well done o. Make you dey chop that ya banga soup (stupidity) well well dey lick finger inugo?
And wetin you no sabi be say I get talent to catch ghosts. 😆😆😆😆
Pervert oshi. Everyday fork fork like a pervert. I hope there are no kids around you?? You need to be monitored closely, were alaso. Go and advise your sister, daughters, nieces and all the females around you. Abi you don advise them finish? Tell them to make sure they discuss "Will" mattere before they get married to any man, Imbe.
Delete@20:39
DeleteChai, the kin bitterness wey dey ya heart eh?
If you come hate me wey you no sabi like this, how you go hate people wey hurt you?
E no too serious, na opinions we dey exchange for sdk blog so.
Me I dey happy o. I no hate you at all at all.
Chineke mere gi ebere.💕🤷♀️💋
I had two friends then.
ReplyDeleteNneka and nkiru.
Their mom was found dead in ugbague in Benin.
All the while the kids felt momsi was a cleaner.
After her death.
The fridge and foam and few items the woman bought their uncle's wanted to come and take them.
Their dad abandoned them when they where younger.
So the girls had to remove the things and share in neighbours houses.
They had only themsleves
Nneka and nkiru I miss u guys so much...
He's still alive but trust me, if anything happens to him today, his people will throw me out and accuse me of killing him.
ReplyDeleteRight now they ganged up against me and threw the kids and I out calling me all sorts of name and humiliating me publicly.
God is watching.
My offence is that I refused to give their son money.
Use the money to set urself up.if you can move to another state pls do.
DeleteNa so ma mom try suffer for nonsense.
A man who allows his family mistreat his spouse talkless of the kids ain't a man
Tenth you are very right.
DeleteAll the fights we have ever had is caused by his people.
He tells them every damn thing. Every damn move and they advice him accordingly.
@anon 17:24 I'm sorry ur husband is not a man but a mummys boy. God help u.
DeleteTenth is on point. Pls do it now while you still can.
DeleteI turned a widow last year at age 30..Didnt have any children cos none came,ivfs failed..After his death i left with just d car he got 4 me.I have his atm.but dnt knw d pin..Been trying to get d letter of administration from d court to take to the bank...His family aren't bad.But this is a man i suffered wit for 7years (got married at age 23)not a penny to start my life with..His friends had to raise money for me...I pray no woman goes thru the ordeal of being a widow
ReplyDeleteHow come ur hubby u don know the pin to his arm??
DeleteHe bought a car meaning he was ok you don't have a dine.
Your point being??
DeleteNobody has the right to question you or beat you down with words! Ignore all the horrible people that will want to make you feel bad, they are many on this blog and they have chased away a lot of people that made this blog interesting 3/4 years ago. Just start a business and believe God for a fresh new start.
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss, it will be okay later
DeleteGet a court order annonymous.
DeleteIt is very easy. Just get a lawyer you are close to. Someone you can trust.o
When you ask most of these men to write their will, they start asking if you want to kill them or what makes you think they will die before their spouse.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind that fool up there. Some men will even start thinking you want to kill them so that you can inherit their property.
DeleteThe best thing my late father did for us was leave a will,when he died,his things were shared equally....and the one thing i respect my uncles for,was ensure that the will was respected....
ReplyDeleteMy mum played a major role though...my king died of cancer..doctors told us he was going to die..he had no will,it was on his dying bed,my mum went to meet him privately,knelt down and begged him to pls not leave her like that,that she is the only man she ever knew(cuz she met hin at 18yrs) married for 23yrs..that he should write a will...trust african men,he was mad at her at first and told her that so she had given up on him...my mum left him...and immediately he called his lawyers...the matron agreed for him to see his lawyers ,because they said he was still very much mentally sound...
My dear ..my mum was a wise and bold woman,who knew her husband.. nd my dad was the mature husband who listened to his wife...believe me you...we would have been in hell...cuz everything wud have gone away...
Men ...women..please write a will especially when u start having a family...or make ur next of kin ur family.
I really love your narrative.
DeleteChinwe Uba
When my husband died,if i tell u what I've passed through,thank God im better and stronger now
ReplyDeleteThat is how I asked my ex husband to write a will when we were still married and he said I was planning to kill him.This man had a company which he started and ran alone and had his younger brother put down as a director. At this point I had 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) for him. He even told his elder brother, who sent me an email telling me that they live for long in their family.
ReplyDeleteI told my ex husband then that as his 'potential killer' he should not include my name in the will but just the kids. He said his brothers will not throw us out if he dies. He mentioned the younger brother (the director). I told him to mark my words, and that he could tell anyone that I said so, that this particular brother will be the first to throw us out of the house.
Few months later, he got paid for a job and the younger brother started fighting him for his cut on the basis that he is named as the company's director. I just laughed. Even though my exhusband saw this as a sign that I was right, he still did not write a will.
Anyway, I have learnt not to rely on him for anything. I am lucky to be independent with the ability to leave him (moved to abroad with my kids) and start a new life.
But God knows that if he dies before me, I will make sure that my kids receive what is rightfully theirs.
I really feel for women that are helpless and unable to be independent or fight. I understand that everyone's story is different. I pray that God helps this poor widow and other widows.
ANG, even before marriage we should discuss Will abi?
ReplyDeleteThunder fire that your smooth nonsense yansh
So many women and children have suffered upon the death of a husband/father.
ReplyDeleteA widow with daughters was thrown out by her in laws after the death of her husband with the excuse that she has no son.
My father was a public servant who died intestate, for every property he had,we paid 20% depending on the state bfor we could assess the account. So we excluded lands,cars etc. And only got letters of administration for his bank accounts and shares. For not having a will,we paid 20% of the total amount and it took months to get the money. My point, write a will so ur family don't end up wit less than they deserve. Thank God we quelled any extended family long throat, even beat up a silly uncle join. Na we and our mama chop the one govt remain for us. Men pls use ur wife and son as next of kin. I saw many failures of husbands during my sorting my dads loa. Widows cried when the bil took all the gratuity giving them little or none. Men write it will,u can just will it to the kids.
ReplyDelete