Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, April 22, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmm......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENTLY NEED TO MARRY



Good day Stella,

Please keep me anonymous, excuse any errors please,thank you for posting my last issue about not loving my job plus the little pay,most bvs advised I quit, I did that and I honestly feel relieved and happier. 



It’s close to four months I stopped working now, I’m yet to get a good job, I know I have to further/do a professional course just add to my certification before I can get the type of job I want, though I have been able to survive and take care of myself with little returns from businesses I do here n there, my parents have been helpful too,same with my boyfriend. 


I’m in a very confused state right now, I have been dating my boyfriend almost 8yrs now, I believe we really love each other but life can be funny we could have settled since last year but he had issues with his business, he is trying to recuperate despite this he still helps me out the way he can before things went bad, he supported me quitting my job and promised to invest in my business at the same time further. 



I had everything planned out already, but life happened. Despite all that happened he still held on to his promise and told me not to worry, he will help me, I just need to hold on a bit, I believe him because he always keeps to his word. The problem here is that I stopped searching for job and I’m “waiting “ for money to come. He gives me more than half my last salary every month, my parents are not fine with it, they want me to look for a job instead of staying at home like that, tho I’m learning a skill as I’m home, they feel I’m wasting my time, being the first born also they are not happy I am like this. I really believe my partner will come through and I will be able to do what I really want to do, I just need to be patient.


It’s already becoming unbearable for me at home, even if I don’t ask for anything from my parents again, they just see me as a person who is wasting her time. I also really want to get married ASAP, I believe once money comes, we get married, I get money to execute my business.

Should I listen to my parents or continue holding on. I am 26yrs old,finished school like 5yrs ago, worked up to last year. I have just my B.A:...



You are still young but 8 years is a long time to be holding on..your parents are just worried like any parents should but dont let anyone pressure you into Marriage,it never ends well..

60 comments:

  1. My parents this... my parents that. Why dont you have a stance at 26?? Parents always worry since 19 kporodom. Not an issue. Calm them down and stick to your plan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yaba left escapee22 April 2019 at 15:18

      ... will her "stance" accept the bride price?

      Delete
    2. Why must our definition of a good man mean a man that gives you money?

      Can't she work or hustle for herself. I found this chronicle very irritating

      Delete
    3. Poster you are just a LAZY BABOON! Laziness will ruin u if u don't listen to ur parents..
      Ur parents gave u advice u did not listen,is it us that are strangers that u intend to listen to? U are stubborn with no ambition..All u think of is to get married blah blah blah..So if u don't get married u won't execute ur business?
      What if that marriage did not happen? What if ur boyfriend did not give u d money he promised?
      U sit at home all day enjoying d small money he is giving u..
      With what u wrote here,I doubt u graduated and even worked at all..Someone that is dis lazy can hardly finish school..
      But if truly u graduated and worked briefly and ended up like dis,then someone is using ur pic as hand fan in ur village..Wake up!

      Delete
    4. You are d first born,ur parents suffered to see u through school,then u graduated,worked briefly and resigned just to be waiting for ur boyfriend to give u money to start business..In dis Buhari period? U go wait taya.
      What skill are u even learning that has no name? Skill that u are learning inside of ur house? No parents wants to see their child lazying at home when her mates are out there working and making money..U sit there waiting for ur boy friend to give u peanuts and still hope for marriage that u are not sure it's gonna come..Some of ur mates have started taking care of their parents and giving them pocket money..
      My niece is 24yrs,a graduate,working and has a thriving side business..I am even telling her to resign and concentrate on d side business alone since she is making alot of money from it but she refused..She said she can manage.. Receive sense nne.

      Delete
    5. Its not the money aspect, hes been there for her for years! Showing care and supporting her decisions

      Delete
    6. Baby fire, the skill she’s learning at home is most likely makeup. She’s learning how to be a makeup artist from YouTube videos. Lol.

      Delete
    7. @Anon 18:21 .. 不不不不不

      Delete
    8. Anon 18:21 you don mad before..
      This your comment got me laughing.

      Delete
  2. Call this guy and discuss all these with him. But calling him "boyfriend" means he hasn't proposed, he is not a fiance?
    If that is the case (and there probably is sex involved), then you are the one shutting your doors.

    If you break off romantically, seek God and seek for a job, you will find and you can set off from there.
    Your main confusion is the longevity of this relationship you do not know its direction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm...yoyr case is exactly a replica of what women in bad marriages go through. They tell your to move out, you move out, you are relieved but that initial relief is just the beginning of a journey with many colors, tastes and drum beats no one can never tell. Differnt stages of challenges will keep unfolding untill God has mercy on you to find another.

      Delete
  3. Poster what do you really want? Marriage, job or established business? I think you should get something doing first before contemplating marriage. Marriage no be moimoi ooh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its moi-moi if youre with a good partner, you work hand in hand...

      Delete
  4. Stella, please we need chronicles from adults not kids. These young ladies make me sick.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yaba left escapee22 April 2019 at 15:16

    As i read thru i thought i'd get to the part where Mr. B is intersted in marrying you with plenty money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You like B so much abeg

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahahaha..All these Mr A and Me B stories too dey sweet for belle..

      Delete
  6. God forbid I should date a single guy for 8 years. Imagine tying oneselves down like that. Poster, you must be boring to the guy already. He is looking for a way to dump you but doesn't know how. Don't worry. His family will help him. Desperado. Jobless desperado.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nobody mumu pass you sha. Anon 15:17

      Delete
    2. Who says shes tieing herself down? Hasnt she been doing other things? How did the relationship prevent her from excelling? It even promotes her, so shut up!
      Do u know wen they started?
      Keep jumpin from prick to prick till u jump inside hell

      Delete
    3. why are you angry? Na wah oh

      Delete
    4. why are you angry? Na wah oh

      Delete
    5. I dated my hubby for 10yrs, I wasn't a desperado,I got my career going /working,travelled to usa via lottery,got him in, married for 6yrs,marriage is not perfect but I see myself as d happiest woman alive. everybody carry different head come life.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous 15.17 you will be ok. Sorry. Eat some honey mixed with saccharine while at it.

      Delete
    7. The guy might still love her Daz why he is paying her monthly alawee but she is too lazy to be at home waiting for him to give her money instead of getting busy..Maybe d guy is stalling d marriage bcos she is still jobless..There are many women who are good at long dating..It doesn't bore them..

      When I was single I never dated any man more than two years.Most of them are foe one year.Just one year I am already tired of u..Nothing will be sweeting me again,No butterflies in my stomach again..
      Ofu amu na agwu Ike biko..

      Delete
    8. Baby fire, now that ure married, are there butterflies permanently there?

      Delete
    9. @Anon 18:07.. Yes it's still there..I wonder why..Maybe bcos I know he is my husband now and d father of my kids..Initially I was afraid of this but I am now convinced that marriage is not dating..There is more to it than we see.No leave no transfer till further notice..Ana emenu.

      Delete
    10. It depends on when you start dating someone and also the person's age. Imagine you start dating at someone at 18,of course you can date for 10yrs.thats not same for someone who started dating someone at 30. It's all about understanding, having a common purpose and being on the same page.

      Delete
  7. You should get a job! Don't be a lazy ass! Your boyfriend might be helpful today but can disappoint you tomorrow. Men love women that earn their own money. If he sees an independent woman tomorrow, you're so getting dumped.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What do uu wan.
    What makes you happy pls do it.
    Life is just one shot,
    There is always light in every situation.
    Just take one day at a time as it comes..continue with you skill learning.
    Tell your parents lies about job hunting.
    Marriage can be done in the lowest key.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Prayer points....pls God destroy every power of time wasters in any form in my life...
    Give me the grace to say NO or YES at the right time

    ReplyDelete
  10. Agwodinakrika..

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't let anybody rush you into getting married o.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Get up, do your certification and get out there and find a job. How can you sit at home 'waiting for money to come'. Although your boyfriend offered to invest in your business, I don't think it is right to put all your mind on that as he cannot afford it. He is not responsible for you. You need to always have a plan a, b and c.

    You are a grown ass woman with no responsibilities right now now is th癡 time to get on your grind!, be responsible for yourself!. I hope you listen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the first mistake was quitting her job. This is Nigeria more than half of us dn't like our jobs but we gats to pay the bills. Na yanki u fit they vex leave 1 job then sharply u get another 1. u should have kept the job till u get a better 1 or till ur business was stable. @least d money for taking care of urself go comot from d small salary even if e no reach those willing to help will c that u were trying on ur own. if there is still opening u had better go back and watch out for better options as for ur relationship from what u said d guy isn't financially stable yet. madam calm down sort somethings out first besides marriage is forever

      Delete
  13. Being in a relationship for 8years is a long time if you ask me. I will suggest you hold done a bit in asking your boy friend to invest in your business rather encourage him to use the money and marry you. The business can continue after marriage. Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  14. You need to be sure of what you really want. Job, business or marriage? Oh yeah that's why you're here,you need us to tell you what to do...


    you're still young though, finish your training and do what you really wanna do. Make sure you can stand in your own financially before entering marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It is well with you poster

    ReplyDelete
  16. dating for a longtime no mean time waster, dating doesn't stop you from getting other areas of your life together. define your relationship, grow in it...don't put marriage as a must have badge 1st.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are actually wasting your life. Get a job. This is type of situation that 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' applies to, not multiple dating.

    ReplyDelete
  18. My darling, seeing marriage as the panacea for your financial security or freedom from the judgment of your parents, is a wrong mindset. It doesn't matter how long you've been in a relationship, if you marry for the wrong reasons, that union will come crashing down irretrievably like a deck of wrongly assembled cards.

    I don't think it's fair to depend on your boyfriend for your financial freedom even if he promised to support you. You must be financially independent before you think of marriage. Sweetheart, what if you get married and things don't turn out the way you planned? You will start resenting your hubby and blaming him for the "trap" you've found yourself in. He too will retaliate and before you know it, your home will become a battlefield. You'll be amazed at how fast affections turn when there's financial hardship in a marriage. No man wants a liability for a wife. Even billionaires respect ladies who may want their money but certainly don't need their money.

    I think you should keep searching for a better job and don't put undue pressure on your boyfriend. You are still young, rushing to get married because you want to be taken care of or because you want your parents' respect is not the way to go. They are your parents, darling, do you really expect them to be happy with you? They are allowed to voice their displeasure. Don't take it as an insult rather be motivated by it. It's better you're under your parents' roof than in a bad marriage.

    Sweetie, no reasonable person sits and waits for money to drop from the sky a la manna from heaven, you have to apply yourself. You might learn this late but please, my love, kill that mentality that you rely on a man to succeed financially. That entitlement mentality is so 1977. Never allow yourself be in a position where someone else determines how much you spend or how much you have to your name. There's nothing better than a lady who is financially independent. A good man can become a monster when pushed to the wall or when under financial pressure. As you're planning to get married and become his responsible, have you thought about how you will cope if a baby comes? Please sweetie, have a rethink before you mess up what has the potential of being a good marriage. By the way, he hasn't proposed to you yet, has he? With this undue urgency, were you planning on putting additional pressure on him to marry you as well? Please slow down and re-evaluate. Tell Jesus to take the wheel so He can pilot your affairs. Good luck!

    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
  19. 8 yrs and you are still waiting ,I think you should get a job and dont waste your own time.thank you

    ReplyDelete
  20. What you need is a job. Make your own money and stop waiting for your boyfriend to give to you. So if you coerce him into marriage now you will continue to live off him all the time.
    Babe, get up, dust your certificates abi face your business squarely.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You woke up and quit your job? In this Naija? Was the job life threatening? God is your strength

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know the nature and pay of the job?
      So she should die there cus it takes her out of the house and back

      Delete
    2. As in ehnnn.. that is what too much of american movie can cause any small thing " i quit my job". In this Naija u only use I QUIT MY JOB!!!! when u have a better job option, when ur business has a solid ground, when u jam correct sugar daddy or a rich young guy that is willing to have a housewife that he will be giving correct allowance or he his willing to establish her business wise.

      Delete
    3. I think it’s good she quit. If she’s making half the income from sitting home and it was killing her soul, then quitting was better and take it from a seriously hardworking woman who always has some type of job. Working for working sake does nothing. What u need to do now is take your training and certification seriously. Get up get out of the house and get it done. Learn sewing or other skill if it helps

      Delete
  22. I wonder who advised her to leave her job when none is around.

    Lady your parents are right. Please look for a job instead of sitting at home. You would have mentioned what side job training you are doing.

    May God help you. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  23. "I also really want to get married ASAP, I believe once money comes, we get married, I get money to execute my business"....with this words you wrote up there I can say it confidently that your approach to life is still VERY CHILDISH.

    Let me ask you these few questions
    1) what if your boyfriend breaks up with you tomorrow, can you stand on your own two feet and survive ?

    2) Do you like your current state of been broke steadily and been looked upon by your parents as failure

    3) why can't you get a job on the side while you hustle for your dreams?

    4) If your boyfriends doesn't pull together his finances and therefore can't afford to marry you,does it mean your life will end?

    Poster I advice you take your parents advice and look for another job, so that if your boyfriend doesn't keep his promise tomorrow you won't be stranded and you can use some of your savings to fund your future business plan...YOU CANNOT TOTALLY DEPEND ON A BOYFRIEND TO FUND YOUR FUTURE AS IT IS GROSSLY STUPID AND CHILDISH.GET A JOB POSTER

    LEP

    ReplyDelete
  24. Go get a job and a life, while you wait for the marriage.
    Your present mindset is wrong

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous 16:39. Please shut up. Do you know what it means to have someone in your life and watch you go down the drain without assisting you with anything. Maybe you haven’t been in that situation before then you will appreciate someone that assist with money. Please poster continue with the relationship that way. It’s best to have someone helping out than someone who want to settle down immediately but is not ready to help you in life but want marriage. Be patient and calm down. Your parents are only scared because of the job and consistent income not coming in so they are afraid that time is going and marriage too you need it as well. Kindly pray and let God lead you .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must you insult to pass your message across???? And you are calling God in the same comment. Na wa.

      I agree with 16:39 cos that is what we see most times,once a guy is giving money he is automatically labeled a 'good guy' even if applying jackie chan moves on the girl.

      Girls, learn to earn your own money. You are not invalids!

      Delete
  26. Get a job,get a job is all i keep seeing. Where's the job na my people? I've been moving from offices to offices,company to company seeking for a job,all to no avail. I have been certified on PNR and Fares in the Aviation sector aside my bsc certificate but still nothing. So I'm using this medium to beg that you guys help me o since there are jobs that i can't access

    ReplyDelete
  27. All u need to do is to pray and God will direct u on wat to do.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AT just 26yrs? pls look for a job and build your account then venture into your business. Never depend on a man for your total sustainability when you are even single and not married. I started working at 27yrs with just Bsc. pls think of improving yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Most men compel women into resigning from their job because they want to control them. Listen to your parents, as soon as possible find a way to get something doing. Men can disappoint when you least expect. Establish your self first then marriage will follow.

    ReplyDelete

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