Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Iya Ibeji Series -The Fat Bridesmaids...

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Saturday, April 20, 2019

Iya Ibeji Series -The Fat Bridesmaids...

What are the roles of bridesmaids in a wedding?







I asked this because I made so much fuss in choosing my bridal train, other than make the wedding colourful I didn't know what else they did. As a matter of fact I was looking for them, those that were being toasted were in a corner. Those hustling food for their people were with the caterers.


When I was planning who I was going to make my bridal train, I planned with my cousin and I jokingly asked her to lose weight so she can be on the train she said really an I said yes.


In my place there is a saying that who shit fit forget but who pack am can never forget. I totally forgot, but my cousin went on a weight lose program. So when I got fabric for the bridesmaids and she asked for hers I was like Oooops.


I had 2 married women who had given birth on train, so it wasn't like I was looking for models, but my cousin was very fat and she looked out of place with the others.
I couldn't tell her to her face that she wasn't chosen so I called her days later and told her.


She said ok but I knew she was broken only I didn't know how broken untill after the wedding when she came to visit. She told me she was very excited that finally she was going to be a bridesmaid, that no body had ever asked her. That she stopped eating solid food for one week until she got that call from me. She said her husband had told her before that she was too fat to be a bridesmaid and she said I loved her too much to be bothered about such.


So I said in my mind, ground kuku open and swallow me now. Dear BVs I felt so bad. I don't know if it happened to you but when I was planning my wedding I felt like a little girl planning her fairy tale wedding. I just wanted it picture perfect.


But after the wedding even before my cousin came to visit, I knew I made a big mistake not including her. Like I said earlier I didn't see my bridesmaids at the reception, they weren't useful after the church service.


It's been almost a decade since I had this conversation with my cousin but I still feel bad anytime I think about it. She had just one last chance of being a bridesmaid and I blew it. You might say what's the big deal? You won't know until you are in that situation.

I know I will be bashed today no problem I deserve it. Let me give you one more point to bash me even more. I was her chief bridesmaid at her wedding but when it was my turn I said she was too fat.
I was wrong for that, and it hurts till date.


*Are you still friends with her?Is she still fat?Did you apoligise to her?

49 comments:

  1. Your honesty is if not anything, quite refreshing.

    I'm definitely not the type of person that discriminates in any way. I already have one bridesmaid on my train that is a Muslim. The type that wears hijab to go out. Her dad is an Imam. If on that day, she chooses to covet her hair, my dear, carry go.


    I was also to have one big time SU, u know, the type that does not wear trousers, make ups or earrings (infact ko ti e lu eti rara) and I really didn't mind. She went with committee of friends tho.


    I think it's utterly wrong and disgusting to choose bridesmaids by considering size, age, color, religion etc and I'm really glad u made this post.

    I hope one or two people learn from it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See eka acting all sanctimonious like better person that doesn't discriminate and love everyone but we all know the real you is a very wicked person.

      Delete
  2. This is sad.
    All my girls were slim though, but not skinny.
    My sister's chief bride's maid was on the big side. No big deal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hav also done somethings that wen I look back, I feel so very terrible...so I'm not going to judge u.
      Cheer up
      Apologise to her n tell her u still feel bad till this day.The real
      Tess-baby

      Delete
  3. Adanma๐Ÿ˜˜!!! Jelly Sandals, Jelly Shoes & More.... @0803715164920 April 2019 at 13:17

    Ouch!!! Really unfair, but I feel you can still apologise if you haven't done so and if possible get her a gift to show how sorry you are!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Iyabeji you didn't do anything bad at all. We all have our preferences and choosing a bridesmaid is by choice not by force or unnecessary pity party. Most fat people I know eat a lot and they're very lazy to work out. There's one currently in my place of work,if you see where she's fighting over food,fear go catch you self. Work out nko,she go form too sick to workout but once you remind her she's grossly obese she will tell you it's her nature that she inherited from her grandmother. Oniyeye iyawo sule.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not funny Princess.. Try to be a bit more understanding shogbo?

      Delete
    2. Anon yesma,motigboyin ma. I will become more understanding from today's henceforth.๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜–
      Sebinu simi mo?

      Delete
    3. As an educated medical personnel, shouldn’t you know that sometimes it is more than the will to lose weight? Some women have thyroid issues, PCOS, hormonal imbalances that the mere will to lose weight does not suffice. That is why there medications to curb appetite and correct such exist.

      P:s - by virtue of your profession, you should be a lot more empathetic

      Delete
  5. Well, I didn't join my sis train cos she wanted sizes 16, and damn, they looked so curvry n very sexy, it was a booty parade, if I had a flat bum, I won't be on ur train anyway, size 14.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So she wasn't too fat to be a bride but was too fat to be bride's maid. That was a really mean thing to do. I just choose my sisters and close cousins as bride's maids. I didn't for 1 minute think of anyone weight or height. I'm glad you have a conscience to make you see how wrong you were.

    ReplyDelete

  7. Bridesmaids suppose to be the VIRGIN companions of the bride; of course single ladies. But these days, where do you find virgins among Naija girls?
    The single dudes wey go show for for the wedding suppose to use them eyes dey search for potential wives.
    So all these married women wey dey occupy space for bridal train na bad market for my Naija girls to catch husbands. Whosai
    Some of the married Naija girls still dey look for (ATM) husbands na. Na so them go dey scramble to join. ๐Ÿ˜Š

    ReplyDelete
  8. What is the big deal in being a bridesmaid? I've been a bridesmaid on three occassions and I didnt enjoy myself one bit. Running upandan to make sure everything goes well. The one i did last year, I dont even have a single picture of me after paying 10k for the dress, the makeup i paid 3k for was halfdone because we were running late for church, my hair nko? The wig was misplaced and I never found it. My first mini human hair fa. I know what I denied myself to buy that weave, Till now I've not been able to replace it. Then the bride, chai! This girl kept screaming my name at any little thing. Abeg I am not doing again.

    Iya Ibeji, your cousin must have been realy hurt, call her again and have a heart to heart with her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai, this one na lamentations of Bridesmaid Aboki nyarinya ๐Ÿ˜Š
      You run sotee you lose your hair; the costly hair wey you buy eh?
      So if you no do again, na who go do ya own na?
      Ajuju n' ese okwu? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    2. But being chosen as a bridesmaid is an invitation to work oh. Wetin you think before?

      Delete
    3. My own no get problem. My younger sister will arrange her friends for the train. I go just pack my friends for asoebi girls so they can slay wella. You need to see me eyeing our other friends that were in asoebi, those ones wore their very colorful asoebis and were given a table while i was given one kpako plastic chair behind the bride, i no kuku get time siddon sef.

      Delete
    4. Una dey try o. I've never been a bridesmaid before. I hate aso ebi! I've turned down two offers because I simply do not want. And it's not because of the money o, I don't just like it.
      Bit when I was a child, I played little bride thrice and was flower girl to countless couple.

      Delete
    5. Lmaoooo @ Miss Aboki. Being a bridesmaid is really stressful. I don't enjoy it at all. You are mostly on your feet throughout and get to eat late sometimes too.
      I have done this bridesmaid thing for 6 times now. I politely decline now.
      Most times I don't even wear the dress after that day. Very stressful role!

      Delete
  9. My bridesmaids would be my friends that I absolutely love. Single or married I don't care. Fat or short I don't care. The only criteria is that I must love you. Period.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Olivia that's my own criteria also...I just must love u!
      My chief bridesmaid will be my most loved๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜


      The real
      Tess-baby

      Delete
    2. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

      Exactly. My niece was my CBM because I want a loved one. My sister's could not for one reason or the other which I understand so she was the next. Her age,height or size wasn't my problem

      I didn't have any train.

      Delete
    3. Olivia, please the people you choose must love you like you love them, oh! It's not enough that you love them cos it's possible to carry someone in your mind as if they're your blood sister, then find out that they don't mean you well at all.

      Delete
  10. I won’t bash you ma’am. You were just being honest.
    I understand that you wanted ‘picture perfection’, there’s no crime in that. I just hope you both are cool with each other now.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You're a mean and selfish person. At least you got what you deserved in the unhelpful bridesmaids it turned out you surrounded yourself with.

    Some brides are something else. They pick people they assume they'll look better than cos they assume everyone is competing with them. Forget bridezilla, it's like getting married bring out the satanic tendencies of some women. I did aso-ebi for someone some years ago, that I thought was a friend. The day of the wedding, as soon as she saw me, she gave me this totally evil, envious look from my head to my feet. I told myself that I imagined it. Only for me some hours later to overhear two of her sisters saying my outfit was the best-looking one (they didn't know I understand their language). Heaven knows I don't go to people's events to upstage them, but I didn't know that bridesmaids and aso-ebi ladies are supposed to deliberately make themselves look ugly or wear nonsense in order to make a bride comfortable. Long story short, I ended up getting poisoned at the wedding. My husband was out of town so he didn't attend with me, but he was very annoyed when he came back and I told him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poisoned?? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Wow!

      Delete
    2. Did you say poisoned?Ha! That was totally off the hook.All for an outfit?Thank God you went home in one piece.God forbid bad thing.

      Delete
    3. Hanty how did they poison you with such a crowd? I'm sure it was all in your head

      Delete
    4. The bride already had evil in her mind for me, that I stupidly refused to notice. So, asking me to be a part of her train, only Jesus knows what she planned. The dress itself couldn't have been her problem, but her reaction was what made me notice. She even gave me some gifts and kept asking me why I hadn't used them. I honestly kept forgetting to use most of them. It was after the wedding I don't know what pushed me to Google the brand names for some of the gifts and saw some of the worst reviews I've seen in my life. 90% of the reviewers had all kinds of health problems AFTER using those products, they all said they didn't have those problems before using the products.

      Delete
    5. Anon 15:08 Lol if you say so.

      Delete
    6. So she left her wedding to go get poison? Or she has already brought the poison to the event waiting for you to show? I’m confused

      Delete
    7. Was it only you she gave the gifts? Maybe she was just cheap

      Delete
    8. Anon 14.12 you are right about some brides picking people they think they would look better than.
      My cousin asked me not fix eye lashes and use a make up artist for my face. She wanted me to look like a 'plain Jane' because she knew I wasn't too good with making up myself. Yeye girl. No wonder she has no friends.

      Delete
    9. Anon 17:34 She gave gifts to all the aso-ebi ladies but there were some gifts she gave only me, months before her wedding. They were things I didn't ask for, but I'm not the first person in the world to receive gifts I didn't ask for so I didn't read meaning into it. But she kept contacting me and asking me if I had started using the items and if I'd noticed anything different about myself. I honestly don't know why I didn't use most of them cos I meant to and they were in a place where I was seeing them everyday. After the wedding, she distanced herself. That's when I researched the gifts. If you see a product review and 90% of the verified buyers (over 2000) are saying they had health problems that came out of nowhere AFTER they used that product, won't you use your tongue to count your teeth? Before the wedding, she knew I wasn't using them cos I didn't complain about having any health problems. I wasn't supposed to return from that wedding. The annoying thing is that my husband has always had reservations about her. Shame didn't even allow me tell him everything, I packed everything she had ever given me and threw them away.

      Delete
    10. Anon 17:34 She didn't have to wait for me to show. Cos she knew exactly when and how I would get there, where I'd be, etc. Let's just say she had information and did things that in hindsight, I should have seen and known I was in a vulnerable position. And I learned a very bitter lesson - people don't always ask others to be a part of their weddings cos of friendship.

      Delete
  12. People choose bridesmaids based on how close u are to them.. now shey ur slay queens came to slay and didn’t do nothing for u?

    Welcome to a world where we judge people by physical structure alone.
    She even tried coming to ur house afterwards, kos I trust my self I won’t smell ur door step.
    My pain is that u deceived her and didn’t tell her in clear terms that u only wanted slim girls. She went home killing her self for nothing (though staying healthy is not a waste sha)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don’t have friends, my sister was my chief bridesmaid and I told her to organize her friends that will like to join the train, they were all slim and yellow, though I wouldn’t mind if she had brought fat people, my own is to marry and be happy. The bridesmaids can come in different shapes and sizes as long as they dance well and are they for you when you need them.

    ReplyDelete
  14. If not for anything, please call her and apologize to her.

    ReplyDelete
  15. In today's world, bridesmaids really don't play any role except add color. This color can also be added by the guests and their beautiful outfits, so it isn't necessary to have bridesmaids. Unless you have specific roles, such as distribution of souvenirs to your guests for them, it is totally unnecessary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Some will even give you headache on top. I just didn't bother with any train.

      Delete
    2. I won't have a train too except a Chief

      Delete
  16. This just made me remembered my aunt mocking me that she will never allow someone with a big head to be in her bridal train and she said it in public.Me I have forgiven her though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜†
      she went overboard with that na.
      I am very sure that head isn't massive...even if,,,she just didn't want you in the train

      Delete
  17. Yes Stella, we are still very friends. She is my cousin and we are still cool.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Occasional commenter20 April 2019 at 16:59

    I think bridesmaids are totally unnecessary. What exactly do they do again? Your CBM does most of everything you need. I didn't use bridesmaids when I got married, I only had a chief bridesmaid. She totally rocked, made sure everything was on point, even when I had a wardrobe malfunction when I changed into my second dress, she was totally ready. She sewed me into my dress and all was well.

    I didn't even do asoebi I only gave them colour of the day and they matched their different outfits to it. It was really colourful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did I type This?

      Mine

      No bridal train only CBM
      No asoebi just colour.

      My only ish was my niece didn't know what to do but I wasn't bothered. I was happy a family member signed my wedding certificate. I had my school daughter to handle other things for me and she did excellently well

      Delete
  19. Had only a chief bridesmaid and hubby had only a best man. None of the other shenanigans. I didn’t have energetic for plenty drama and I wanted a stress free wedding. Everyone else was committee of friends or whatever. I just wanted to marry my man without much ado. 15 and counting no drama

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm fat but I've been invited to be a bride's maid a number of times. I turned them all down thinking I will look out of place because the others were slim and I felt the brides just asked out of obligation. The first was my aunt, she made the cloth but I didn't turn up. The second my cousin but how she asked was like her mum forced her, I just told her I won't even be attending the wedding , the funny thing was my friend came visiting and my cousin that has never met her before was literally begging her to be her bridesmaid. My friend is hot like that ๐Ÿ˜
    The last one was my sister in law. I said an outright no and she felt very bad. Interestingly, she's a size 12 and I'm a size 16 all her bridesmaids were sizes 18 and above. The chief bridesmaid was a size 22.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Please it is necessary.. How do we remain in business if brides stop having bridesmaids

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141