Stella Dimoko Seeking Extra Spiritual Guidance Before Getting Married


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Thursday, April 18, 2019

Seeking Extra Spiritual Guidance Before Getting Married

All in a bid to be with 'the one',Women go through a lot before finding the right man, they get their hearts broken, some even break some hearts themselves.....  

Whilst in the search for the right partner, some feel the need for that extra spiritual direction that they may not have themselves and go to " Pastors" or "Evangelists" or "Prophets" in a bid to know if he is the one or if they shall wait for another..

I remember clearly sometime back when Pastor Adeboye himself clearly stated that NO Man of God should tell you who your husband is, and I completely agree with him. You should be the one to having PROPERLY gone through the dating phase with your partner identify that you can indeed settle down with them and your pastor should only help you pray for a good union.

Here is what I think;

Firstly dating should be a period to pray about a relationship and ask for guidance on what to do. Dating is not just meant to discover all you can about each other sexually, but also to evaluate compatibility. Tell God that if he or she isn't meant for you, no matter how painful the experience of loosing them maybe for you, ask God to take them away from you. 

When God takes some people away from your life for a good reason, stop fighting to get them back! Sometimes answered prayers come in the most emotionally painful form. Do not begin to go to extreme lenghts to get back what God has saved you from. Accept his will and move on.


After passing this stage, the only role your pastor has to play for you is to pray for you both, for God's blessings on your marriage. They should not be the ones to tell you that your partner is not for you. I have seen really greedy so called men of God cash out on this and it pains me. I do not subscribe to anyone helping you to pray about anything. We are vessels of God, use your mouth and ask God for his guidance and blessings. They can only proved advice not to do otherwise. God gave us freewill for a reason.

My mum's close friend is a pastor(please note we are all catholics and do not attend her church),before I got married I was in a serious relationship with a guy that lives in London, my Mum's friend visited one day in my absence and asked where I was, and told my mother that she saw me dating a guy that has a child a 7 yr old boy(creepy right?, and London people, did they use Baby mama to swear for you?), well my mother didn't tell me about it. 

Two weeks she told me and when I asked him he confirmed it. She simply told me she will not tell me what to do, I am an adult. She just advised me that it was not worth the drama, I was too young for that. I was 22 at the time.


I would like to say this, there are certain situations that are very creepy and maybe , just maybe you should take that as a sign. A friend of mine came to visit her aunt in Abuja and randomly decided to attend a church programme holding down the road. During the prayer session the pastor walked up to her, told her her FiancΓ© is a police officer and that she should walk out now, while she still can alive. 

She was beyond shocked!. She waited for the service to end thinking someone will approach her to tell her that Pastor said we should call you, but nothing like that happened, and it was beyond creepy. He just went about his business and continued preaching , and when she even came back to ask him, he said he couldn't remember it, and just advised her to pray and ask for guidance.
She had never met this man in her life.

It was her first time in Abuja.

Pessimistic as I am, I advised her to listen to him, make I no lie o, cos that one was beyond creepy.

Given there are stories like this that make your hair stand on the edge, I am still a huge advocate for picking your future spouse yourself, please avoid blaming anyone else for a situation.

What do you think?


  1. Women aren't looking for the "right" partner but for the "rich" partner. It is not that suitors aren't coming but greed has blocked them. A lot of ladies see marriage as an escape route from poverty.
    Yes the seeking of spirits comes in especially when age is closing in on them. This is where they give Satan the destroyer a blank check for their lives and eternal lives and does he cash that? Of course he does!

    1. I didn't read.

      Stella what time is single and mingle tomorrow. I wan set alarm. I need to connect one of my friend.

    2. Me too Lafresh, I need to connect one of my friends

    3. Swag and Eka
      Ndi Pharisees
      E no be crime to connect or corner one husband for yasef unu anugo?
      Make una come mingle and throway single.
      Nothing to hide. 😜😜😜

    4. Idiot 15:10 I'm happily married and you know Eka is planning her wedding right? So use bandage to tie your stinking fingers whenever you want to type rubbish.

    5. @Swag
      E never reach to dey insult all those ya insults na. Thank you for dishing them out anyway.
      Whosai, married or planing marriage doesn't qualify anyone to be a marriage contractor; does it?
      Invite ya sisters to S&Mingles make them catch too inugo?
      Married (for Pharisees) doesn't mean them no go dey press phones; does it?
      Make you coooooooooooooooool down enjoy yasef for sdk blog, life no too dey scattered like that inugo?

    6. are not okay. It's clear that you are relatively new on the blog else you would have known that Swaggie is married.
      You sound like a very bitter person. Those you laughing emojis are so fake.
      You insult people calling them Pharisees and saducces yet you don't like to be insulted.
      I pray God heals you from whatever is wrong with you.
      You can simply give your advises without putting anyone down or giving bad names.

    7. @19:25
      What I mean by Pharisee and sadducees are hypocrites and you are chief among them.
      A "married woman", mother perhaps called me an "idiot" and you overlooked it.
      I did not insult anybody.
      Both you and your swaggie insulted me and I thank you very much for it inugo.
      And before I forget, my laughing 'ema oji":
      Ngwa runs along onye Pharisee/sadducee

    8. Calling people hypocrites is not insulting?????
      Since you are the grammarian i guess you have redefined insults.
      I too did not insult you, I only stated the obvious that you are not okay.
      Come back and respond again.

  2. Some ladies marry a man's cars, houses, bank accounts and not the man.

    I used to work in a finance firm. Once a lady client of mine who came back from the states to settle in Nigeria was in my office for "investment talks". She was sitting before me when a "friend" of mine came into my office, sat on the sofa and began to peruse an investment magazine. I noted the surprise on both faces as they greeted. The next time the lady came (she actually came earlier than scheduled) to sign her documents, the first question she asked me was; who was that man the last time? I told her he was the co-founder of the firm. She instantly broke down and wept like a baby. She told me that she had met the man at a gas station the first week she came into the country and had refused to give him any chance to date her. Her reason frankly was "his kind of car"; Toyota camry (the lady drives a lexus suv). Really, my boss had just one "superior car" but preferred to ride that particular car.

    This lady was in her mid thirties and single then; from the documents she submitted. I knew at least part of my boss' worth (more than a hundred times this lady's investment which was huge) but he lived very much lower than his means.

    1. She isn't married now doesn't mean she won't be in a few months time to her kind of man... Irrespective of what your boss has. It still doesn't mean he is the right man for her.She has a standard (Like who doesn't)just like other men too. So no big deal.I am sure your boss must have seen her drove in in her Lexus before approaching her or was it a crime for him to go after girls trekking on foot. Everyone has a standard which is directly or indirectly connected to money. But because she is a woman it isn't allowed ba?.With the level she has attained for herself by herself. You feel she has to accept anything in form of a man simply to bear Mrs. She will be married Mr/Mrs accurate time-keeper.Don't sweat it for she is still young.Women only ger married to money?like if she came close to him she won't get to study his personality with time.Except money is the only thing your boss had to offer.

    2. anon 13:15 fear jesus oh.
      add copied na.

    3. Why does he live very much lower than his means?

    4. Anon 13:46 you are just too dense to understand the simple msg the anonymous you quoted is trying to pass.

    5. No anon 14:17.You are the dense one.Everyone is entitled to their standards and the consequences that comes therein.
      You Dumbo!!!

    6. Exactly at 14.17, very dense. If ur spec has to do with the kind of car someone drives ehn, then there must be something seriously wrong with u

    7. Anon 13:46 has missed such opportunity in the past that is the reason she is so aggressive.

    8. Eka you are also dense if your brain cannot tell you that it goes beyond his car.she felt he wasn't in her class based on his type ofcar and she bounced.she was wrong so what

    9. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 April 2019 at 15:05

      How would she know if they belong to the same class By a mere meet? Don't judge a book by its cover. Be humble. Keep your head down and do your findings. If it its not what you want you move on. las las whose loss..?

    10. @14:45
      So who is crying?
      Who is unmarried?
      Who is auntie gwegwegwe?
      Who will go to mediums to look for devil to give her a husband?
      Who will go menopause?
      Who will be an old maid?
      Who, who, who? Keep throwing away your chances for shallow reasons.

    11. @ Lady t, thank you but dont people do it all the time. You meet people and the first thing they do is size you up based on material things. Not only men and women even friends. Its not right but its the world we are in. People here need to stop retending like it doesnt happen.
      Most people with topshot jobs would growl at a mechanic who approach them not knowing if he has a house in banana island. Without even trying to know who he is first. According to her standard she judged him based on his car. Who holy pass.
      Anon 15.13
      so you believe she criedπŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…, you simpleton😁.
      Like she would be unmarried forever
      Like she won't get a better man in the future who could end up being the boss of this his bossπŸ˜‹.
      As the babalawo that you Is?
      As the seer of the future that you are?
      Your chances you mean? Like there is only one chance in life.Keep jumping on every man that holla at you because of fear of being called outdated.

    12. @15:38
      And you already know she did not cry based on?
      As the mamalawo that you are okwa ya?
      onu apiri api

    13. I never claimed I did ooooo. I was just asking you for you were so sure she did like you were there😘.
      As per your last statement mo sineje Sugomu

    14. @16:02
      You did not read well then. She cried, read it again.

    15. Rubbish story, and what is the crime in refusing to chat with someone? How many men will give up the oppurtunity to marry a rich girl that can move them up the social ladder and marry a poor girl instead? Do you know the number of men shamelessly digging for women's gold these days? Anything to make women look money hungry..una go land there..abeg go front..they were not meant to be..she will meet her man at the right time!

    16. Thank you oby o. Most of the men have met while in that Lagos are gold diggers. You meet them for the first time and the next thing is, where do you work, do you stay alone, which car do you drive,mainland or island?.
      The man could also be a gold-digger sef.because he is rich doesn't exclude him please.He saw a lady driving a lexus car and he thought of striking a convo.if she was walking on foot would he have acknowledge her.Some rich people are also social climbers too.

    17. @Oby
      The "rubbish story" indicated that the lady cried rubbishly
      So why was she crying, she missed being married by a very good man because she
      was as foolish as you to focus on material thing; car instead of getting to know who
      was greeting her.
      How many men have you chased away because they did not have big cars?
      YOu will stay very long on the shelves.

  3. in marriage just act like jesus and your marriage will like jesus.Be the jesus in your marriage and you will have no problem.just like jesus is still patient and loving tobus regardless of our stubborness and juvenile attitude...he still loves us and we are still here..same mindset married couples should have.

    1. The world would be a better place if we act like Jesus. Love your neighbor as thy self

  4. I met a guy i was dating and believe me i was so confused, i prayed and prayed yet there was nothing, no dreams or no revelation. I met a pastor to help me pray, but everytime i call him and ask him what God has revealed he will really apologize that he forgot to pray as he has gotten so much on his hands. i was happy he was honest and sincere.

    since then i never went to him again but i do go to his fellowship and he has never use that to shine, and he encourage me to seek God face alone and something will be shown to you. tho i have gotten nothing yet but i believe more in praying for myself

    1. No answer at all, is also an answer. Well,sort of. Don't you think that's a sign that you need to be careful?.

  5. I think it is okay to pray about relationships but you don't even know which pastor to believe or not nowadays and not many of us are so deep spiritually.
    I am 33 and I have been dating a guy for 2 years now, we are both same age. However he doesn't seem to be so pushed towards marriage. He is all about his business and trying to grow it, I must admit he's hardworking, he works every single day, even some sundays.chance. He's not a millionaire right now but extremely driven. My problem with him is he doesn't take the relationship heading towards marriage serious as his priority is making money.
    Now a friend introduced me to a 39yr old who told her he's looking for a wife. He is more attentive, calls me every minute of the day. Very good looking and very wealthy. He has a child which isn't a problem for me, he's never been married.
    I just met this guy about 5months ago. Note that we have never had sex, he doesn't live in my state. But he has come to visit few times as he has business in my state.
    Im confused now because he is asking to come and see my parents. Do I leave a 2yr relationship with someone I have grown to love and become serious with this guy? Once he sees my parents there will be no going back. Im confused.

    1. So if he sees your parents n along the line u find out he's abusive or something u can't condone, there will be no going back too? No human is indispensable so there's a going back from situations u can't stomach.

    2. Make this a stand alone epistle so that other comments won't overshadows yours.

      And oh, follow your heart not the number of years wasted.

    3. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 April 2019 at 15:10

      Its not about time. Its about the person and who is meant for you. Maybe guy 1 is not really into you. You will be shocked that he may meet someone and within 6months bam its done. Why not ask him how far and what does he think or see about the relationship. 2yrs is a long time not to know what you are doing fa.

      Guy 2 seems serious.

    4. Whom does guy 1 tell people you are? Wifey, friend, gfriend or just your name? That says something. If you both have different goals for life, leave. There is no need wasting more time. Some men make women hang on because they face no consequence. Take a chance and do what is right for you. Meantime relationships are not worth it.

    5. 18:24 Forget what he tells people you're,what are his actions is more appropriate, Man 2 is more serious by his actions,
      And blackberry do you work in a cyber cafe?

  6. I’m a very spiritual person so I disagree!!..
    I must go spiritual before I do anything in this life!..
    Be it business,traveling,making new friends etc and it’s been working for me...
    The world is full of shit!...a sane person shouldn’t live in ignorance!...

    1. Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere18 April 2019 at 13:44

      One billion likes for this comment! Enough said

    2. "Spirituality" has the positive and negative supernatural aspect of it.
      The problem is that you go negative;to the destructive, malevolent and vindictive spirits
      and they bring sorrows. That is where "pigeon nacking", spiritualists temples etc. come in.
      The positive supernatural is to see God almighty the only wise God, to seek Jesus and not even

    3. Iya,
      Let me Anon on this. I had a boyfriend, i wasn't really into him like that but i finally fell head over heels in love. He had nothing like me as we met as corp members, He was the second guy i would fall in love with and date. We were both building our careers. He proposed, i accepted. While dating, i noticed he wasn't spiritual like me, please note we were both sinners, i would ask we both fast, pray, i bought him his first bible. He introduced me to his family as a wife. I was accepted but his mom became withdrawn after a while, we started preparing for marriage. The dreams started, not once, not twice. Uncountable times. We will both be in a car, him driving and i by the side, his mum will appear in the middle, pop her head in between and kept on saying No, I confronted him one day and he said his mom said its my tribe not me as a person. I refuse telling him, where i dreamt i saw his mom,wrapping something round her waist like a wrapper and at the tail end was his face, i believe in prayers, i kept on praying but one day he woke and for 2 days i noticed he was fasting and reading his bible, he would hold me tightly and give me occasional hugs and tells me he loves me. I asked him what the problem was, this was someone whom i have dated for over 5 years. He opened up, about his dream and what his mom did, i held his hands,prayed, held his head prayed, i kept on being good to this woman, gifts, calls and i just loved the family and believe, if i show them love, they would know love is devoid of tribe and religion. After that dream, my ex and i will fight over little things and keep malice for weeks. I went into prayers, had a dream of a woman wearing black,she didn't want me to see her face, she was backing me, will try to see her face, she will turn, she was fat and she kept on saying Never will it happen between the both of us, prior before then, my ex mum asked her son to text my full name. The day i had that dream in the morning, the night of that day we separated, he tried coming back after a week, apologizing and didn't know what came over him. I have moved on as this was years back but occasionally i dream and i see him, trying to reach out to me, to speak to me but i rebuff him, i have moved on for my sanity, i have prayed to God Almighty to separate us spiritually too. I don't want to see him. What do i do? I barely remember my dreams nowadays.

      Can't believe i typed this epistle but i needed it, to clear my head. Is God giving me that as a cross and because i rejected it i don't dream with such clarity again? I guess i need prayers..ha ha ha ha . I just typed like XP and co.

    4. Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere18 April 2019 at 17:11

      Anon 15.19 πŸ‘‹ hi, the guy loves you but the mother is a very strong force standing between the two of you. You are lucky God revealed it to you in dreams, so many people don’t dream, the mum will be overbearing in marriage, if you can cope with an interfering mother in law then if he comes back to you, you can marry him. If you see someone in all black iro and buba or long gown, na Witch o, most times. Since it’s an old relationship I will advise you move on to fresh grounds. The mother of your ex has full control spiritually over her son and she is an ‘alagbara’. Thanks for sharing your story. A very good friend of mine used to dream that her mum in law sits on her husband’s back(her son) riding him like a donkey, I advised her to do white fast, she took it lightly, the mum in law lives in Lagos but my friend is a nurse in the UK, she had this dream consistently for 3years, by the time she called me to explain how to do the fast, it was too late, the marriage scattered eventually because mama will just not let them be. Some dreams are warnings for us to sit up and be serious ASAP. It is well with you, move forward and meet someone better than your ex.

    5. Anon 15:19 I hope you haven't thrown away the husband that God sent you, oh. In none of your dreams did you see him joining those saying no. Other people are saying no. A whole daughter of God like you, you packed yourself and ran like a puppy dog from what you were meant to fight. There are times God tells us to run but you ran by yourself. Let this Easter not pass you by. Fast and pray, ask God with an open heart to remove everything covering your eyes and show you what you need to do. Leave all those people telling you that if something is of God, life will be smooth.

    6. My ex mum also requested for my name but I gave her a fake name but I noticed I was so aggressive in the relationship,kept insulting him till we split, I am married for almost 10years and I have never been that aggressive towards my sweet hubby, could it be my ex mum jazzed the affair because we 're not from the same tribe.

    7. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 April 2019 at 19:41

      1. Pls what is a white fast?

      Will come back tonread comments.

    8. Iya, let me ask a few questions.

      Am married to a man who lost his wife and has children. We've had clashes with the relatives. Sometime ago we had to have a meeting. To resolve the misunderstandings.

      A few weeks later I had a dream where I saw the children's grandma telling me she didn't like the judgement. I said to her in the dream if i were her daughter how would she feel. She said she didn't care .I said to her but her daughter was dead. What was she talking about?/she said she cares only about her daughter. And in the dream began to invoke her spirit and I saw myself walk away. All these in he dream. There have been others. What do you think?

    9. That’s what they call a spiritual soul tie you need to pray to God to break the soul tie.

  7. I have never believed in visiting pastors for solutions. The power of life and death is in our tongue

  8. All I believed in was to study my partner to be sure I could cope with all I saw.

    I prayed to God to also unveil and unmask the things hidden that I still need to know about him so I can decide if I should stay or take my leave.

    When I became sure it was him, I kept praying that God should perfect the rest cos no one is perfect and grant us a peaceful, fruitful and good life together as a couple/family.

    The bottom line is praying to God for myself. A prophet can say whatever and one will still be insecure but telling God by yourself and the inner peace He give afterwards is just bliss!

  9. Adanma😘!!! Jelly Sandals, Jelly Shoes & More.... @0803715164918 April 2019 at 13:37

    Hmmmmm..... Your mum is indeed a mother!!
    Marriage is a life time something, don't be deceived...
    No one should tell you who to marry and who not not marry cos you are the one to live with the supposed person, so you should know wat you want and wat you can actually tolerate..
    Good afternoon mama@Stella, HAPPY HOLY THURSDAY!!

  10. It is very important to seek God's face before marriage. You need not go to prophet or prophetess to pray or see vision. Pray by yourself and God will surely speak.

  11. No matter how I study my partner and pray about it,i still believe in that spiritual input from a man of God.Prophecy is suppose to confirm either your existing fear or hope na.

    1. So you think a pastor will get a better answer from God than you? You clearly ain't rooted

    2. No. Prophecy is meant to express the mind of God. Hence the "God said". God doesn't only confirm what you want. He can give info about a new thing that you may not even have prior knowledge of.

  12. @ Adanna, it is called maudy thursday

  13. That was how one fake man of God told my sister that the lord said he is her husband that if she doesn't marry him she will die young. my sister said she prefers death than getting married to him.
    what happens to one praying and Seeking direction from God.
    No man of God will tell you who to marry, its all guessing

    1. CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!!?

    2. Your first paragraph surely had me in stitchesπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
      So he tried to manipulate her using the name of the lord?. Interesting.

  14. I was a doubting Thomas. I was told that my ex-wife was born with dada, and would destroy a life. I laughed it off and went ahead to marry her to prove that pastors are just scammers out to get tithe from gullible followers. Mehn.. everything happened as the pastors predicted. The worst human being ever. My being alive today is by the special grace of God. Found out the father is an occultist. His first born was sacrificed for money. The mother is a frequent visitor to juju land. It is sad how people know the truth but are afraid to tell to avoid being labelled a home breaker. After the marriage crashed, the hidden truth started coming out. I went far and beyond, to find the truth. Boy o boy, things dey for this laugh. I heard the younger sister got married too. I shook my head. Poor guy. They may wreck his life if he is not prayerful. To God be the glory, after I got away from the evil family followed by intense spiritual cleaning, the blessings have been double upon double .Just pray hard that Jezebels do not come into your life. Pray pray pray.

    1. Your ex-wife was the problem, not her father and mother. Covenants can be broken. Your ex is the one who refused to follow God to purge herself of every evil attached to her bloodline.

      It's when my marriage clocked two years that it suddenly hit me that I am the first person in my family (on both sides) whose marriage started with "I love you, marry me". Every other person, even my parents, started with pregnancy or story of pregnancy. Some lie about being pregnant, then we find out later that they BOUGHT (not adopted) babies. Some marry after having having two children with one or more people. I'm talking of men and women relatives. And the marriages don't last. Same with my husband's family. It's not like I didn't know at all, it was just something I didn't really think about. That's when it dawned on me why my crase get limit, why I had experienced some things before.

      God is a God of covenants. He redeems lineages and cleanses bloodlines. He needs just one person from a house that will agree with His Word, His Will and His Way. That person will usually be marked before they're born and when they're born, even the environment knows that a different force has entered the equation. Good or bad usually starts with one person.

      So, the fact that they said this or that, so what? Is there any African whose bloodline is completely clean? You nko? Or is it because you've not heard your own? This is why I don't regard many of the so-called prophets around cos they glorify the devil. Prophet that can only see the problem that some people already know about, but can't hear from God about the solution, is that one a prophet of God? Your ex wasn't the person in her family that agreed to partner with God, she chose to continue what was already being done.

  15. You really need to pray for yourself. Even if someone( be it a pastor or relative) brings you a message concerning your choice of. Alife partner. You need to go back to God in prayer,just to be sure.

    I honestly never needed to pray before I understand a man's intention and i have God to thank for that.The moment you are a part of my life, be it a colleague, friend or neighbour.I see your intentions and get to know the real you in my dreams.

    The first guy Who approached, i told him I needed time. That same night I saw him sleep on the bed in my dream but I slept on the floor. He saw me sleep on the floor but didn't ask us to switch position for he left me there.The next time I saw him, i told him I wasn't interested.
    Few months later while hanging out with a friend. He passed by and she told me he was the most useless self-centered and chauvinistic man she had ever came across. I wouldnt have believed her until i heard same thing from another person.

    The second one came. I went to bed as usual and I saw him in my dream three good times in front of the altar getting married to another lady. I guess God showed me thrice because he felt I was considering him. Funny enough I didn't pray about any of them. Turned out he was engaged to a girl in our church then.

    Another one asked me out only for me to go to bed without even thinking about him. I saw him appear to me in form of a fox. I didn't bother telling him I wasn't interested..i just ran away.

    The third guy was the first person i prayed about but God didn't respond and that was scary. Considering he always responded without praying about them. So i said no again.

    Some of my close friends do appear in form of acts and snakes in my dream. While in real life, they are very nice people.

    Even churches.If I join a new church. I must dream about the pastor or his church members and this determines my continual presence in that church.

    Even when I eventually went to college same thing,that when I met hubby and I did my best to avoid him.I kept having dreams upon dreams. So I knew he was the one.

    The bible says "you are all priests forever". Get close to God by yourself and you wouldn't need to wait on anyone to deliver his messages about your own life to you.

    1. Thank goodness for your gift. Very straightforward.
      Yes, we all should have a relationship with God so as to hear from him but sometimes we need spiritual intermediaries cos our personal judgement could be clouded.

    2. I can't tell you the number of times dreams have saved me from making the wrong decision or revealed people's true intentions. It is truly a gift to be thankful for and it gets better the closer one gets to God.

  16. It's just a dicey one , I'm not really keen about seer, prophet e.t.c . Life is full of mysteries though,hence why we need spitiual guidance sometimes ,but not solely leaving our lives and decisions in the hands of prophets, and pastors. Moreover , even the bible talked about asking for the spirit of discernment... To my ex ,that told me his parents prophet said we ain't good together and would never have a good future together, I hope you and your wife is making progress now ? You know yourself...

  17. I've discovered the format so called pastors and prophets use. Once you give them a list of names, they will all come back and say the last name on the list is the one. It's psychology, I believe they think, you will always list the names according to your preference. So the first one is the person you like most and the last is the one you like least. It's important to know what you want for yourself and prayerful choose by Yourself. So if anything happens in the future at least you will now it was your choice not some prophet doing peekaboo with your destiny. So many people in boundage in the name of marriage all thanks to seers.

    1. You made a lot of sense here

    2. Is it not when people refuse to have a personal relationship with God? Heard of a lady who was facing hell in marriage and her mother suddenly started saying sorry. Mama, what did you do? It turned out that the lady had two suitors, mama carried both names to a pastor, came back with reply of God said. The lady married the one they claimed God said, and was now suffering. Mama now said she lied, oh! That the pastor honestly said the other one was the rightful husband but it will take some time for him to make money. That's how mama developed her own prophecy, came back and told her daughter the opposite. Daughter married the suitor that was already richer. She didn't enjoy the marriage for one day. Beatings, cheating, even the money she was seeing but not touching. Fast forward to a few years later, her mother told her what really went down.

      If the girl had a personal relationship with God, not even her mother would have been able to deceive her. But people will not agree to develop a relationship with God, so they will keep trusting people that lie against God.

  18. Nothing beats hearing from God yourself. Direct from the source, from Him who knows the heart of men and who knows the future.

    God is willing to draw close to who ever draws close to Him. He wants our good even more than we do.

  19. One of my family friend got married to the wrong man, cause their prophet prayed and told her the man is her husband, and she left other men for the stupid guy... Now she's the one footing the bill and all that, infact she's done with the marriage...

    He will call this lady and told her the mother in law is a witch, and the mother in law is such a nice woman, she won't pick the woman's calls...

    She has been having miscarriage but this same prophet told her the mother inlaw is the cause oh... All these fake pastors and prophet just causing problem here and there..

    Alot to say but let me stop here

  20. I believe everyone is a prophet and never went to consult any pastor/prophet before I married my husband. If you avoid sex before marriage and try to avoid other sins, you will keep getting revelations about events to come in the future. Living without sinning is a continuos battle for children but His grace, He promised, will ALWAYS be sufficient for us. The guy I dated before I met my hubby, I dreamt one night that myself and one other lady were at the brink of this river with mighty waves that almost consumed us both . I saw the guy coming and was so happy that help had come, but he rescued the other lady and left without a backward glance. When I woke up, I knew immediately that he wasn't for me but still continued with the relationship. God in His mercy still showed me another revelation which actually came to pass. I had no choice but to let go.

    1. That you believe something, doesn't make it true. God communicates with ALL His children but to say that everybody is a prophet is a lie. That someone sees visions and even has dreams that come to pass, doesn't make the person a prophet. Even having a prophetic gift doesn't make one, a prophet.

      A prophet/ess is someone with a prophetic CALLING; God ALWAYS picks prophets for specific purposes in particular regions before they're born. In fact, that's why they are born. Some prophets see, some hear, some write/scribe. Sometimes, they do more than one. But whichever, if God called you to be a prophet/ess, God will talk to you by Himself and tell you. It's not something you desire; you can desire a prophetic gift but NO true prophet/ess wants to be called. Even some people that are supposed to be pastors have wrongly assumed they're prophets and are causing problems cos they called themselves into offices that God didn't send them.

  21. Women who don't care to ask God about other decisions suddenly remember God when they want to marry. You didn't ask God about school, you behaved anyhow throughout university, after graduation you re-worked your NYSC to where YOU wanted, you sorted your job with money or your body, but you now want to hear God about who you should marry. Lol! You will be scammed. Time to marry is not when you want to start hearing God that you've not been hearing and obeying before. I just SMH at the numbers of women that keep running from one pastor to the other to look for husband.

    If I didn't know God and obey despite what my physical eyes were showing me, I would have ended up with the wrong man. There was one suitor that looked OK on the outside, said all the right things but I didn't feel peace. I asked God to show me my suitor's real heart towards me and I started having bad, dark dreams about him. Then, I developed a very strong hatred for him, I'm not a hateful person so I didn't understand. All he did and said irritated me. So I told him no, he still went to tell people we were engaged. I told him off. It was years later I discovered what had happened. At the time I was having the bad dreams about him, he had gone with my name to tell his pastor he has found wife. But after questioning him, the pastor told him, "That woman is someone else's wife. Leave her alone." The next thing he did was he went to his village with my name (and picture he got from Facebook), went to juju that I must love him and marry him. But it obviously backfired cos that's when I developed hatred for him and I couldn't even stand him. Till now, I don't think he realises he confessed. I call him the perfect counterfeit.

    Sometimes, we rely too much on what we think we see. From the first day my husband approached me, God told me, "This is him." But I was looking at the package. My husband is fine and I'm very attracted to him but he didn't look like what I had assumed he would look. I also told God "But this man is too quiet!" Yimu at myself. That was when the perfect counterfeit arrived and he was a talkative. My brain reset and I repented cos I saw that it's not an offence to be quiet. Sometimes we're the ones that look for trouble for ourselves. Some women that were in abusive marriages that got divorced, that are now forming emergency marriage counsellor on top of "God took me in to bring me out for the sake of others" are lying. Many of them saw signs before they entered, but greed and fear of what people will say refused to let them be great.

    Also, the fact that God has spoken, doesn't mean there will be no obstacles or that it will happen immediately. Whether with marriage or anything else. Sometimes God is just being merciful and giving you advance info so you'll know He hasn't forgotten you. But you will misinterpret and behave like an olodo. That's an error I made. A lot of my friends married in their 20s, so obviously I had started to wonder how far. I heard God on my 27th birthday, but married when I was 32 and we didn't actually date. During the five years, I developed itchy feet cos it didn't make sense. There was one time we were to do prayer & fasting with our lists of requests in church. Fast was to start on a Monday and request for husband was #2 on my list. On Sunday evening as I was preparing for the fast the next day, my husband called. I was upset cos I thought Satan was trying to distract me. It was later I understood that was God's way of telling me, "What you think you're about to ask for, I already answered you before and I didn't change My mind." Ah, it's not every fast that God honours, especially if He didn't send you. You will just go hungry and say vain words for nothing. I look at my husband and I know if I hadn't married him, I for hear nwii.

    1. Wow. Your story is so interesting, thanks for sharing. I have also experienced that wide gap of timing between the promise and the manifestation, but God's Word does not change or fail. Never.

      I agree with your point on getting God involved in all aspects of our lives, not just remembering Him when marriage comes.

  22. I crushed a guy’s heart 7 years ago over something little.This guy (Guy A) was a Virgin & i wasn’t. I didn’t feel comfortable because he asked way too many questions & sincerely, I felt he didn’t deserve me. Honestly, that was why I broke off with him so he could get someone deserving. What I didn’t know until this year after checking his profile on Facebook, that he was hurting several months after that & he made post to that. Later on I met someone else, we were on and off for a while. Just when I was getting my heart to settle in with this other person (Guy B), I had a dream that the Guy B, was getting married but I wasn’t the bride he was marrying. I woke up telling my cousin & then sent a message to him, telling him my dreams. He replied saying he was sorry & he didn’t know how tell me but he will be getting married in 2 weeks. Yes I cried but not so much because that dream meant he wasn’t mine. So I moved on. I had another relationship (Guy C), everything went smooth but couldn’t stand the rest of time. Then the worst happened. The career and everything I ever I loved left. It was then it dawned on me I never prayed for my relationship because I was too focused on getting it right with my career. Things were really bad like God had left me so my prayer requests kept bouncing back. Then I recommitted my life. The day I got to pray about me finding my husband, I gave out list of names, just random friends-guys. 2 days after, (1) I got a name, (2) his skin color, body built & his personality, (3)a different face. The first 2 nos didn’t match any of the listed names I told God 2 days earlier & it was so quick. I had never heard of surname or anyone bearing it since childhood. I prayed again and it was same face. This guy was just a friend and all shades of “shady”. After much prayer, I knew he couldn’t have been the one because his life wasn’t straightforward. I realized the 3rd nos, was guy who my parents & his wants us to marry. The name was coined in different language. I’m not serious about this because there are some discrepancies I’ve seen about him. Soon afterwards, Guy A shows up & he matched the 2nd no on the list. The first question he asked was if I was married & told him no. Having remembered the dream, I sincerely apologized but he never forgave me. He hates my guts. I can’t undo what I did 7 years ago & he won’t forgive me. I came out telling him why I did what I did but he reads the message & never responds. Not once or twice. I’ve never told him what I saw & will never because if he were mine, God will reveal it in time to him. All I’ve done is sit back & stay quiet. Sometimes, my mind runs wild. I’m just a baby Christian growing. Please how would you advice on how i channel my prayer & what to focus on while praying. I’ve never been one to tell a pastor about my life. We were not brought up like that

    1. Repent to God. You've asked the guy you offended for forgiveness. Ask God. Tell God to please wipe out any negative effect on your life that is coming from what you did to that guy or anybody else. And don't contact that guy again. If he's supposed to be in your life, the Waymaker will make a way.

      When praying for a husband, don't go with any name in your heart. Go empty. You really don't want to be answered according to the idol in your heart, oh! You might not get a name from God, or you might - my friend's husband got her name when he prayed. I didn't get my husband's name but he approached me for the first time the same day I removed every idol from my heart and asked God to send my husband. He later said he didn't know what pushed him that particular day cos he had always assumed I was married or at least in a relationship. My point is your process and timing might be different from others. But if you are sincere, God will answer.

    2. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 April 2019 at 21:32

      I have been so blessed and encouraged in reading this column. Bottom line, pray and straighten your relationship with God. And all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path. Am talking to myself.

  23. One thing I know n believe is life is more spiritual than physical.if u know ,you experience,issue n family background will make you decide or choose ur own opinion about spirituality.i came to choose n realise some things about life through my family background,experiences and all.i had my first boyfriend in my second year.we went for a church programme n a pastor called me out.he said my present relationship is a waste of wont end well.he said he saw me getting married as an adult in mid thirties.i was jus 23 mum just called like,let's leave here.we left.few years later I ended d so called relationship myself cos he betrayed me.he begged bt I never accepted him back.i started living my life,accepted man frds on platonic level cos there was always something or reason for d relationship not to wrk out.especially in my dreams.menhle I left dat relationship in my final year n I was 27 then.i was just sitting down one day like that when d pastor prophesy came to my mind(5 urs after).I called my mum n she was like she couldn't evn remember d msg at all.i tried looking for d pastor again to listen to msg but was told he died year b4.i was sad.i wished I could have just listened to all he was tried to tell me abt my life.after that 2008,it has been prayers n fasting oo.i got married jus 2 yrs my thirties oo as said by d man. infact man pikin Ex I left got married b4 me.Sometimes,just listen to them,then act on ur own to know d truth.


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