Huh!!!!
ISH WITH MOTHER IN LAW ABROAD
Please How do I stop MIL from force feeding my baby girl? She already did once and I informed the father that I don’t want there to be a second time. I breastfeed her and her brother along with formula but she becomes impatient and snaps at my babies. My girl weighs 5.5kg at 3 months.
MIL already insulted me and my parents that I lack home training for sleeping with my babies at night (I have twins) instead of giving them to her.
She hears all what the doctor and pediatrician say but does exactly the opposite ! She exposed my twins to harsh winter winds by opening the windows but thank God I covered them even in her presence and used silver bird oil.
When she got flu I told her son and when she couldn’t afford the cost of Medicare obviously I bought her medicine with my insurance. Thank God my babies didn’t get her cold or flu !
She wanted to mix funbact on my babies face I threw the tubes away!
She also expects me to cater to her morning to night ! Cook and bring her food in her room ! With new born twins!
Anyway how do I stop her from force feeding ? I am tired of telling her son i really want to tell her my mind that it’s a crime here and I wont hesitate to get her arrested.
I have tried telling her son to talk to her. I am thankful for the good she is doing but I am tired of managing her. She leaves in 2 months time, I honestly can’t wait till my mum comes over.
Any tips on how to get her to listen to me and stop this nonsense these remaining months?
Thanks
*Get your African Mother in law arrested Abroad?My Dear it is not worth the truckload of wahala you will offload if you try that....
Why dont you guys get someone to call her from Nigeria and tell her to come home to attend to something or cancel her trip and send her back?She doesnt need to stay the remaining two months if the Children are at risk of being hurt.
Why cant her son talk to her and save you the trouble?
Please do not tow the line of arresting her cos you will not be able to undo the damage that will ensue.
If it gets really bad and she wont leave,then leave the house with the kids for her......Do not insult her or talk back at her cause it looks like she has Village mentality which is clashing with your western mentality..
You dont sound like you like her at all..hmmmmm!!!
Two months is by the corner but if it's too much, for the sake of your children's lives,get up and protest. You can even threaten her.
ReplyDeleteBad mannered (Pharisee) woman.
DeleteSo you threaten your mother in law?
Threats are taken seriously in the western world
You can go to jail for that
And you don't know that force feeding a child is a serious crime in that your western world? Chief Pharisee
DeleteFORCED FEEDING IS A CRIME ABROAD ooooo. My MUM wanted to force my son to drink his medicine and I vehemently told her son to tell her not to repeat it. I can't shout abeg
DeletePoster your a very bad wife, you are among those that hate members of your husband family for no reason. I wonder why most women are like that? They want theirs to come but always find a way to stop husband people from coming,it’s a sign of poor background and greed.se how rude you sound and I guess ur forcing your husband to disrespect his mother. You that is civilized,don’t have sense to know how to play your MIL. You could have simply say mummy ha you wan jail me? If this babe go hospital oyinbo get machine way them they take check to know if I force feed them o! A lot of mothers have gone to jail like That o! The old woman will only say na wa for this Oyibo people o and it ends there. Advise to ladies if you can’t love your husband people then don’t marry him.
DeleteIs a mother in law God? Jesus. Is she married to her mother in law...@anon 15:39
Delete@annonymous 17:18, you are very correct, she lacks home training! She is one of those hating on their inlawsi for no reason. Just know you will because a MIL someday.If it's your mum, won't you find a way of resolving whatever it is?
DeleteShe lack hone training, just like the rest of them shouting all around. They are not difficult to spot. It's as a result of poor background and upbringings
DeleteWhen it comes to ur kids, better speak up.
DeleteBTW, why did ur MIL and not ur mother come for the Omugwo.
My MIL knows she can't try me
Why do some mother in-laws deliberately cause ish in their children's home. Why? Why? Why?
ReplyDeleteNne, sometimes look deeper and beyond the chronicle, believe me, you will see that DILs are the problem . iwotago?
DeleteIt's witchcraft
DeleteChina if you live abroad you will understand this chronicle. Till then...
DeleteChike God bless you for observing something is kind of off in her tone. She seems to dislike her mother in-law in a kind of way, certain things she can overlook she complains about. Madam something tells me you are not all mother in-law 100% but you are also a problem
DeleteChike nna, a wotago m.
DeleteHer MIL is there to help and not cause her more concerns. The new mum knows what she wants and if she says she doesn't want her kids force fed(which is very dangerous) then they shouldn't be force fed.
DeletePoster, your husband is to blame. He should be the one talking to her to stop since she isn't listening to you.
My MIL wanted things done her way but after my husband talked with her, she would ask me how I want so and so pertaining to the baby and offer her advice but do it they way I wanted. At the end of the day, new mums are usually anxious, especially if it's their first, so adding more stress by doing what you know they don't want isn't fair. I witnessed the traditional Yoruba bathing of babies with hot and cold water for my nephew and hated the way he cried for hours. Seemed like torture to me and told my husband I didn't want it for our kid even before I gave birth. He communicated that to MIL and she respected our wishes even though she probably wasn't happy about it.
Which part of Yoruba does that cos I’m Yoruba and I am not aware of such a thing as traditional hot and cold bath
DeleteI really dislike it when men can’t get their mothers to behave. An elderly woman is currently serving time for force feeding a baby who died as a result somewhere abroad and here is another “mother” doing the same thing. It’s unfair that your husband is burdening you with this issue when he should outrightly deal with it and call her to order.
ReplyDeleteNo one sjould give me that bullshit of “its how they trained the posters husband blah blah blah and he didn’t die so no big deal”. One size doesn’t fit all, talk to your husband again and let him see the danger of the things his mother is doing. Men need to take parenting seriously and stop leaving it to the women only, get involved and read. This is why women need to stop breeding with men who no nothing else after knocking a woman up. Don’t get your mother in law arrested, let her know nicely about your concerns. Get real life examples of bad things that happened when people acted the way she did and if that doesn’t work then get her back home biko. Just because she fed her son your husband forcefully with hot pap and pepper doesn’t mean it’s righr. Stop forcing feeding babies, it is barbaric.
Honestly ehn... the answer lies with the man.
DeleteI don’t understand why a woman will tell her daughter in law that she lacks home training, that’s indirectly insulting her parents and if I were this poster, I’d start with that.
I cannot be in a relationship where my family members are not respected.
As for the force feeding, I just can’t abeg.
This chronicle is annoying me jare, let me goan drink cold water and calm down.
See all my blunders lol.
Delete*men who know nothing
*force feeding
*right
P.Schedherazade, I don’t get it at all. Women are to be blamed for everything. It’s not by force to do Omugwo. Times have changed, don’t force feed babies. Leave them be when they are hungry they’d be the one to rush the life out of the food later. Their organs aren’t developed or as strong as yours, they can’t talk so treat them with care.
My husband does a good job of calling his mum to order
DeleteOkay poster, tell me like 3 good things your mother in-law does for you guys that you like then we'd start from there.
ReplyDeleteThanks anonymous from her post the woman does 100% everything wrong.
DeleteDid you read the part where she said ‘I’m thankful for the good she is doing’?
DeleteIts glaring she doesn't like the woman at all. Miserable DIL
DeleteFirst 3 months after giving birth can be the hardest.
ReplyDeleteDon't let your emotions lead you right now. Before you know it, 2 months is over. Tell her same way you'll tell your mom not to force feed your babies. They are still very young and can easily suffocate please
Apply wisdom, and please don't arrest your mother in law except u are ready to leave that marriage
Poster is sick. "Her son, her son", that's her husband and father of her children she's referring to o. Spoiled brat. Your coven of evil DILs full SDK, we know them. Winsh dem.
DeleteArrest her kwa? I would really like to hear your MIL version of what's really happening cause i don't believe this your story at all. So your 1st option is to talk to your husband to tell her to stop and it's not working. Now shouldn't your next move be to gather some courage and ask her politely to stop doing that? Instead you want to threaten her to send her to jail. Just say you don't like that woman and go! Some DIL often forget that they'll also one day become MIL and be treated the same way they treated their MILs.
ReplyDeleteanon 15:13
DeleteGod bless you so much for this, ezigbo mmadu.
Every time MIL MIL, ahn ahn !!! wetin sef.
some DILs are witches.
I will only say something to you poster when i hear your MIL's side of story.
I think itsi fair to say that the poster will not become a MIL if her MIL kills these babies. Which is what will happen if an intervention isn't done
DeleteChildren choke during FORCED feeding. Do you choose playing with kid's life?
DeleteNobi's mum i'm not saying she's right for force feeding her grand kids but she means no harm and that's probably how she fed her children so that's all she probably knows. That's why i said poster should tell her politely not to do it and why it's dangerous Not get her arrested or threaten to Haba! Now if MIl refuse to hear she should feed her babies herself until her mother comes for omugwo
DeleteIf she means no harm why not respect another woman’s wishes to not force feed her child? This same mother in law will not have tolerated own mother in law doing something she didn’t approve of to her kids. One read why there is peace in my home is because bother mother in laws understand that the primary decision makers in my home are my husband and I
DeleteI am here wishing my MIL was alive, my hubby talks about how strict she was etc I love her so much even though I never met her, I am also blessed with the gift of loving other people's kids.
DeleteWomen work hard and achieve your dreams and greater heights stop hoping that your kids will shoulder all your burden at old age, most people disrespect poor MIL, how many well to do mums will do Omugwo for you. If her MIL is okonjo she will be am love licking her feet. Silly people,once they go abroad they start to look down on locals thinking everything oyibo does is perfect, oyobo has told you guys to allow your kids be transgender so go ahead and do it.
Force feeding is wrong so find a way to tell the mama to stop but tone down that hatred of yours.
"She will be all over licking her feet"
DeleteStella has given sound and wise advice. Don't let your children out of your sight. She sounds like she has the mentality that you are not doing anything right and she knows better than you, this is a dangerous thought process because this is the type of person who will do exactly what you don't want behind your back because they believe strongly in their own self. Even if you are dead tired keep your eyes on your children.
ReplyDeleteYou don't sound like you you like her at all. Na wa!
ReplyDeleteMadam, whatever you do, NEVER EVER arrest your mother in-law, Never!
Call your husband tonight and tell him, let him know its serious, he must talk to his mother.
By the way, 2mths isn't such a long time, can you be a bit more patient and tolerating?
Poster
ReplyDeleteI will advice you bear it and let her know that force feeding kids is a crime
Show her the story of the recent woman that went to jail because of that
Ur husband should be the one to handle this case. Be careful the way u handle ur mother in law bcos of tomorrow ooo!
ReplyDeleteStella, someone that force-feeds your child isn't who you will like oh! Didn't somebody just go to prison for killing a baby through force feeding in America? Then opening the windows, an adult will be cold, how much more babies?
ReplyDeletePoster, you know if anything happens to your children, you could also go to jail because you knew what your MIL was doing and you didn't stop her. And if you have more children in the future, social services will make your life miserable. Contrary to what many people think, it's not village mentality. There's no MIL that's so old or illiterate that she doesn't know what she's doing is bad. Your MIL doesn't mean well for you, your marriage or your children. You won't last the two months. This is how a lady's MIL killed her newborn baby - kept throwing the child up and down in the bathroom, despite being warned many times to stop. MIL refused to leave the child to sleep after being fed. And the mother of the child was being "respectful" till her MIL killed her child. It was all over Facebook last year.
Fact is, if anything happens, sorry is all they will tell you - that's if they take responsibility. You're the one that will be traumatised and they will move on. I don't know what motives your MIL came with from Africa but your children are not safe around her. She cannot be disobeying your doctor and paediatrician, deliberately endangering them and you're smiling with her. She has raised children before so she knows what she's doing is wrong. Let her know you will report her to the police and she will go to jail. And her son should find a way to send her back to Africa pronto.
That's her husband's mom, remember?
DeleteNothing will happen jare, babies have been force fed since 1901 and nothing happens, some kids don't like to eat, I am not supporting it but why is everyone now sounding all modern and acting like their mothers did not do it na. While modernity has established it's wrong we should not forget that it might be done with good intention of not wanting the baby to be underfed or starved. If your baby refuses drugs when sick do u just drop the drug, sometimes mothers use some archaic skills to administer drugs and we all know it's not good but the way everyone is forming posh and claiming force feeding is wrong to the extent of arresting her mother in law! Walahi una no well.
DeleteI will choose an arrested mother in law than a dead baby. I don’t know about you sha.
Delete@anon 16:50..have u been to every house to know nothing happened?
DeleteDo you research , babies have died even in Nigerian day cares from force feeding. Go find out .
DeleteAnon16.50 Don't mind all these noise makers forming tosh like they were not force fed while growing up.
Deletethey all forming American Yankee because of what their own mother will do and they will still be praising her, just because it's the guy's mom, to them she's out to kill those kids
You women here, you all will become mother in law and i pray you will all end up being treated shabbily by your son's wife. That's my prayer for you all.
Your son's wife will call you witch and other unprintable names. Wait for it, your turn is around the corner..
Some women act like gods once they have kids, no one can come near their kids, a lot of women have died and left kids behind and many were well taken care off,remember tomorrow your DIL will not also agree with your style of doing things so take it easy with the mama.
Delete@anon 21:35..the difference is, I will not go to my DIL's and try to control her home. I will respect her decisions. I can only be boss in my own home.
DeleteAnon 16:24 I don't care whose mother she is. Yes, I'd say the same if it was the poster's own mother trying to kill the poster's children. See eh, omugwo isn't compulsory. People without mothers find a way to handle new baby ish. Don't come and say you're doing omugwo, as a trick to scatter your child's marriage and kill their child(ren) for them. That is witchcraft. Y'all get stupidly sentimental about stuff; it's her husband's mother so she should ignore the fact that her children are in danger? Are you insane? If the woman is unable to adhere to simple instructions cos of old age, is she not a danger to herself too? You people want to wait until someone's babies die, then you'll write RIP and tell her to leave it for God.
DeletePoster, I pity you. Sacrifice your children's lives cos you want your MIL to see you as a respectful DIL. If the worst happens to your babies, your marriage will not survive. Two birds killed with one stone.
Anon 21:35 A mother dying before her child(ren) is very natural. That's supposed to happen. That's why children can survive and in some cases, it can be like nothing happened. On the other hand, no woman truly gets over the loss of a child cos it's unnatural. No matter what they say and even if they have other children, a woman never gets over it.
DeleteThis MIL is a stubborn woman that came to cause problems. That's why she has no problem abusing a new mother. I'm very sure this MIL can't try half of this nonsense in her own daughter's house. That thing of "you will become MIL too" is rubbish cos that will not happen if this MIL kills her grandchildren. Unless the poster has other children she hasn't mentioned. Behave how you like in your own house, don't go to your grown son's house to act like a witch. Y'all need to stop manipulating people into accepting wickedness as normal, in the name of "showing respect".
Don, I wasn't force fed as a child. In fact, it is when I became an adult that I saw that some children being force fed. No matter the excuse, it's dangerous and stupid. These are even newborn babies!
DeleteYou don't know me, so speak for yourself. I have an equal opportunities marriage; what I can't take from my MIL, I will not allow my mother to come and do in my house. I can't allow my husband endure what I refuse to. My husband and I have a pact, we don't quarrel or even carry face for each other cos of what anybody's mother is doing. Any mother that doesn't like what we do, should stay away. My MIL was shocked to her bone marrow the day she discovered she couldn't make my husband and I to fight. Just like I have made my mother to understand that I will not choose her over my husband. As long as my husband and I aren't killing each other, we didn't call you so stay on your own. We all know when our mothers have wahala. The way my MIL can't say nonsense about me to my husband is the way my mother dares not trash-talk my husband. The way you suffered to birth and train me is the same way his mother did. I didn't do him a favour by marrying him, neither did he do me a favour. So don't allow the devil use any of you. In fact, both mothers say my husband and I have used juju on each other, that's why we don't argue, RME. So, we will be "good children" if we fight cos of them, I hear you. Don't come from wherever you're comfortable to make me uncomfortable because you gave birth to one of us, cos it won't end in praise for you. We won't abuse or fight you (God forbid) but by the time you find yourself in your village explaining to elders and king's cabinet what you're gaining from scattering your the home of the child you trained and they give you a name, you'll understand what you've done to yourself.
All these omugwo stories I hear can really be annoying, thank God I did mine by myself although it wasn't easy having a toddler and a new born but God has been faithful. I don't even know how I will react to unpleasant things.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong in using palm kernel oil on your baby. so calm down
DeleteAs much as some mils are troublesome, poster you have issues too. I guess your oyinbo mentality s the issue. If you can't take it anymore, please send her home.
ReplyDeleteI personally prefer the wife's mother for omugwo. It's less dramatic.
Let her send the MIL to you na
DeleteEh he... my babies too never agreed to sleep in their cots, they would instantly wake up till I put them beside me.
ReplyDeleteImagine expecting the poster to leave the kids for her at night. Story!!!
DeleteArrest her naa if you get liver.
ReplyDeleteLook her in d eye n tell her not to force feed your baby, or don't let her feed dem at all.
Yea poster, U don't sound like U like her @all... All U need to do is accept her sincerely like U do ur own mum, because no human being comes in a perfect package.. I don't think she means any harm to ur kids, they re her grandchildren after all... What she's doing now with ur kids is probably how she raised her own son, ur hubby..
ReplyDeleteU mentioned that U re thankful for the good she's doing, it simply means U acknowledge her efforts & good intentions too, even though it annoys the heck of U, because it's not ur parenting style. Nne, please be patient with her, she's not gon be in ur life forever... I'm wondering why U can't even talk to her politely about this, or U feel U can't keep ur cool while addressing the issue? Quarrel with her all U want oo, but never involve the police biko, It would only cost U, ur marriage & the love of ur hubby... U need to apply wisdom dear. Good luck!
It only in Africa that women are always asked to accept their mother in laws as their mother. Why should she accept her as her mother? Is she her mother? This is the reason why elderly people in Africa have no respect for young people, and expect some kind of special respect. Respect is not just for older people. Everybody must respect everyone.
DeletePoster, it's not safe to sleep on the same bed with your babies (if that's what she complained about). I know it's recommended you bond with your kids, especially in the US. Please put their cribs in your room and put them in there, face up when they fall asleep. Causes of SID is still unknown but you don't want to fall asleep really worn out one day and forget they are lying beside you.
DeleteYour husband should tell his mum to stop force feeding the kids. I don't understand why he is keeping quite as though your concerns are not valid.
Na so my MIL tell me say she raised 5 kids. I no send mbok, my pikin na my pikin. Let me care for them the way I want or feel is right. Advice is welcomed but I am not compelled to take them without filtering out what I feel isn't safe. Na hubby dey tell am wet in I no want because mothers will accept from their kids, what they won't accept from other people's kids.
My pikin this and that until they grow up too and choose their wives over you, if only we could show tolerance and love more than we pray and fast this world would be a better place, do you know praising the woman and buying her little gifts, even smiles can change the whole setting of things,your mother in law most times is a preview of your future with your kids partners so becareful.
Delete@anon 21:20..the right thing is for a child to chose their spouse over their mother's. There is a reason they are called married "couples". Couples are just two people. A man shall leave his mother and father, and go meet his wife. It never said take your mother with you, so she come make decisions for you. All this mother in law has to do is respect her daughter in laws wishes. Her home, her rules, and they all can live in peace. We all expect these DIL's to take their MIL's as their mother, but nobody ever suggests that the MIL's takes their DIL's as their daughter, and that is the problem. Love is both ways. I love people who loves me..
DeleteA mother-in-law is the mother of your spouse, not your mother. She will never be your mother - unless something has gone very wrong, someone lied to you & your spouse, and you've ended up committing incest. You people keep terrorising wives to treat her MIL like her mother; she's NOT her mother! Does the MIL treat or think of her like her daughter? Why can't the MIL buy gifts, tolerate and do the other stuff y'all keep wanting a wife to do to curry favour?
DeleteBTW, does any sane human being believe that a mother should be chosen over a spouse? Are you really training that child, not because it's your job but because you are under some sick notion that they'll choose you over everybody else as payback? Lol. Let me shock you - motherhood (and fatherhood) is a job that God trusts you with. You do your job, you go home, you give account. You don't turn into a god because you did a job you were supposed to do! Yes, some jobs they take effort and a piece of your heart. But at the end of the day, it's a job and nothing more. That's why if you die, your child will normally survive but if they die, a part of you goes forever - you need the child more than they need you. You're not so special that you're doing something that another mother hasn't or isn't already doing.
no one should be chosen over the other,but when your child prefers his wife's happiness over yours then you would know it's not worth it loving only your child,let us learn to shoe love to others haba.
Delete@anon 06:40...The right thing is for a child to prefer their spouse happiness to their mothers or fathers. That's why mother in laws also have husband's. Haba...You have not done a child a favor by bringing them into this world, they didn't force you, it was your decision, and it is your responsibility to take care of them, and expect nothing back.
DeleteNone should be chosen over the other but your child should prefer your happiness over his wife's? Not because she's wrong but cos you gave birth to him? Clap for yourself. The wife is the one that doesn't have mother. MILs, the thing you didn't like when your own MIL did to you, don't go and do to your DIL! You know when you're doing bad. This is how some of you behave, you scatter your child's marriage, a cycle is created and the next we hear is that it's generational curse that's worrying marriages in a family. It's not that those things don't exist but sometimes we should be honest and say it's the MIL's manipulation. Na una dey first cry, "She came from nowhere, married and turned my son against me" when you don't get your way. Who told you your DIL came from nowhere? If you love her, will you insult her by saying that? You want her to take what your daughter won't take in her own marriage, na you first born boy. Do you people think anybody is really happy when their mother scatters their marriage?
DeleteI've seen a case where a new wife, her brothers-in-law didn't accept her till they saw their mother didn't like her! Yes, real life. They told her, "If our mother liked you, we'd have concluded that something is wrong with you. We're all married, we know our mother." Babe think say na play till wedding date was fixed. The mother of the man did so many things like Patience Ozokwor. When babe was crying, the man's brothers told her, "But we told you this is who our mother is." On her wedding day, the bride didn't know that the driver was armed, one brother-in-law sent the driver and told him, "My mother can do and undo, I know her. Do whatever it takes to make sure nothing bad happens to my brother and his bride." The mother wasn't allowed to know the route they were taking to church! Shebi that mother too will cry that they've turned her son against her cos he won't let her maltreat his wife. RME.
We all know when our mothers are problematic. My husband and I were warned at different times about each other's mothers, we thought it was minor. If not that we both remembered and determined to fight for our marriage, only God knows what would have been our fate. Many of you will go to church and pray loudest but want to be allowed to behave anyhow cos you are manipulative. Sooso gi muru nwa. Anybody that allows his/her mother scatter his/her marriage is a fool; a mother that feels honoured when her child is fighting with the spouse, is wicked. You don't know there are some bad you do as a mother that can wipe out the memory of all the good you've done.
Anon 6:40 Let me give you free advice that might save you. With the thing you wrote (if that's how you really think) it won't be difficult for a pastor to convince your DIL that you're a witch. The sad part is that you may not be. All they have to do is meet a mischievous pastor or even a genuine one who says something they don't understand cos human language is too limited to accurately convey things of the spirit. And God doesn't always tell you everything like that.
DeleteLet me give you an unrelated example. Last year, I sacked my designer. What happened? I was on my own and I heard her name in my spirit. I researched her online (someone I already know) and kept wondering what was wrong cos I wasn't picking up anything else. So, I didn't know if my hearing her name was for good or bad. Barely two hours later, I saw a new pic of a man on her post on my Instagram feed. She called him her father but I've met her biological father once so I knew that's not him. Plus the man in the pic is too young to be her biological father, I guessed he's her spiritual father. But there was no name so I didn't know who he was. As soon as I left Instagram, I heard a different name in my spirit. I went online, even if I knew of the person whose name I had just heard. I knew cos some years ago, the person committed a terrible crime. Wasn't a rumour, it actually happened and he never apologised even after going to jail. And I thought, "But I know of this man, what I supposed to see that I don't already know?" It was as I was about leaving Google that a recent pic of the man caught my eye. My heart cut as I returned to Instagram; it was the same person she put up. That's when I understood why I heard her name. Her association with such a man means she can NEVER work for me again. Cos I no know what spirit is moving her, the man's crime was that bad. Everything good she had done up to that point became irrelevant.
Now, I didn't say she's a witch. And I wasn't fighting with her. All I heard was her name, his name and worked it out. Imagine if something similar happens where you're already tensioning your DIL, then a pastor gets a revelation that you're standing between your son and his wife. Or they hear your name when they're praying. An immature or hasty person will interprete that to mean you're a witch but that is not what they actually heard. All they know is that you're an obstacle. And depending on how they phrase their prayers, you're finished. All your DIL has to do is show God proof of her marriage if it's Him that ordained it, stand on Gen 2:24 and Matt 19:6, do "to whom it may concern prayer" for anyone who doesn't want me and my husband to be one. I guarantee you it will hit you, especially if her hands are clean! Or your son's fiance can honestly pray against anything preventing my God-ordained marriage from coming to pass, or that will be a problem in my marriage. Like joke, mother-in-law to be will die. The babe might not know what happened, she'll think it's coincidence. She didn't call your name and she didn't call you a witch cos you may not be so that isn't what she focused on. But cos of your mindset that your son should choose you over her, you have violated those scriptures cos a man can't truly be one with his wife if his mother is preferred over his wife. And if you die during or after those prayers, she (and your son) will take that to mean you're a witch, even if you're really not.
This is the reason why many MILs who are not actually witches, don't live long enough to enjoy anything from their children. You've done something that put you in a category you shouldn't ordinarily be in. It's you people that create your own problem.
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ReplyDeleteI think your mother in law loves your babies but she has a crude way of showing it.
ReplyDeleteKeep on protecting them from her and stop reporting her to your hubby.He is not saying anything because she is and will always be his mother.
Keep calm,she will soon leave.
Learn to control your anger!
God bless you Pink lady she thinks she is helping. The poster just dislikes her too much to notice any ounce of love in her action.
DeleteNo one can give what they don't have. Your mum is loving her grandbabies the way she most knows how to. Pls don't be harsh at her. As for the safety of the babies, you have to speak up consistently and in an educative fashion such that you let her know you understand that is how it is done back home but have been found to cause deaths of infants. Talk to her lovingly but mater-of-factly that you do not want her handing them babies like that.
ReplyDeleteWhat if your mother too comes over and you find another method you are not ok with her? Will you also start nursing ideas of arrest for ur mum?
My friend birthed thru CS and her mil insisted on hot water pressing her so "bad blood" can come out. Hian! She couldn't talk and was dying in silence till I heard. By the time I open lecture series on the old woman to teach her there is no such thing as bad blood, she learnt and agreed with me and was even cautioning her sister who wanted to try in with her own daughter.
Teach her and be firmly repetitive about it so the emphasis will sink. She is human.
I believe her own mother will listen to her if she tells her she doesn't like her way of feeding her child. African in laws feels they have some special powers, and deserves special treatment. Backwards bunch..
DeleteAhaaaaaaaaaaa!
ReplyDelete21st century Naija mothers ebidogo?
Ajuju n' ese okwu 😊
The problem is that in your heart you
don already brand her "chief winch" even
before she came.
If ya mother do same or worse, you go
stomach am well well and pet her.
But for MIL, mbanu you wan carry fuel
and matches set ya abroadina house on fire?
😉😉😉😉
I like Stella's advise. Honestly, mum in laws who're stuck in their ancient ways are a thorn. They'll only listen to their son.
ReplyDeleteI don't plan to have mine around for my next child, even though my mum is no more.
I'll handle everything myself. The sanity of a new mum is paramount.
Poster, be extra diplomatic but assertive.
Just pay her dust til her 2 months expires.
ReplyDeleteone day y'all female BVs will be MILs. then don't get angry when your DILs call you witches .
ReplyDelete.so annoying.men will side with his people.my dear with all these before two months u people will be like those people on the new where the lady insulted the mil.find away to send her home so she does not harm your kids.
ReplyDeletePoster, you have a duty to protect your babies from anything/anyone who threatens their existence even if the person is their father, so why can't you put your feet down and do the needful? Stop her from feeding your babies by doing that yourself. The earlier we MILs realize until someone seeks your help/opinion over an issue, that's when you give it the better. Your sons wife was raised differently from your son so let her raise her kids the way she feels comfortable doing. Don't wait for your husband pls, protect your babies o
ReplyDeleteyou better show her the picture of that 75 year old woman sentenced to years inprisonment for force feeding in America so she knows its an offence, before she kills or injure your kids
ReplyDeleteI don't think she meant to harm the baby. Subtly resist her method of feeding till she left. There is no need being harsh to the extent of nursing the feeling of bringing in police 👮
ReplyDeleteDear poster in as much as I understand your mother in law's behaviour is not the best. I feel you lack interpersonal relationship.
ReplyDeleteDon't report the woman. Try talking to her with love. If I were you, I would dedicate a day to chatting with her and pampering her. I will ask her what food she likes best abroad then prepare it for the 2 of us to eat, during the course of that, I will calmly tell her why what she's doing is wrong. She might not agree 1st but I will add jokes and let her know we are not in the olden age. At a point she will understand you. Never ever report the mother of your husband to the police. Unless you don't love your husband anymore or no more interested in the marriage.
Wisdom is profitable to direct . Pls deploy a wise approach of dealing with her ,though I blame your hubby he should get all these resolved as a man. Atleast the kids you're fighting for are his. Don't arrest mama,rather endure for the two months.
ReplyDeletePoster bear with her. Dont arrest oooo. Try and educate her about the dangers of force feeding a baby. The method is archaic. If it were to be your mother she would have done the same thing because that was how they brought up their children in the olden days.So speak to her the way you would speak to your mum. You be in charge of feeding your babies. Two months is right at the corner. All the best.
ReplyDeleteHer
DeleteJust One force feeding session can kill your babies. Think about it. One Nigeria nanny was sentenced to prison a few weeks ago. She force-fed a baby girl and she died. Look for the story online and show your husband. If anything happens to your children you will all go to jail.
ReplyDeleteGod what has happened to human being ,you will call police on your mil ,I bet it you don't have the gut I mean you can't do it,of your mother does the same thing will you call cops on her?try it and I bet you you will soon be a divorce.ok
ReplyDeleteI will chose divorce over somebody killing my child. This is the reason why these in laws have no respect. You are feeding someone's child a way she doesn't like, why not respect her? How dare her tell her she has no home training, what right has the in law to tell her where her baby must sleeps? It is her baby, and it the mother in law's for christ's sake.
DeleteSweetheart, the diplomatic way to handle this is to get your hubby involved, he should be the one to call his mum to order. Do a Google search on women who have been incarcerated for killing babies by force feeding and let your hubby read them. His fatherly instincts will kick in, hopefully. Plus I'm sure he wouldn't want mummy dearest incarcerated either.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the best way to make your case is to present true life cases of how a certain action can seriously go south. Perhaps your hubby senses some sort of animosity between you and his mum, so any complaint you bring about his mum, however legitimate, will not be taken seriously.
Darling, these are your angels we are talking about, you have to do all you can to protect them and the best way to go about it is to get your hubby to see how dangerous his mum's actions are. On your part, please try to appreciate the "little" she does. I'm sure her presence has helped one way or the other. Try not to make her feel like you are so modern and posh, while she's all dated, clueless and razz. Like the saying goes "my personality is all on me, my attitude depends on you".
Before you go all HAM on your MIL's ass, be sure you are in no way triggering her aggressive side. Having a man love you is amazing, having his mum on your side is priceless. Honey, less frustration, more wisdom.
e-hugs and kisses.
Poster I feel you didn't talk to your husband in a mature and lovely way, is possible you spoke to him with anger, threat to warn his mother. That is his mother and not his housemate, you need to find a better way to talk to your husband. Allow your man to handle is mother, stop forming Don DIL. If you can get a video while she is force feeding our babies do that and show it to your husband, you can even plan something cool with your doctor, he will call your husband and tell him he is noticing something that is life threatening to the babies, with that your husband will sit up.
ReplyDeleteNever out drag issues with our mil, if you arrest her your husband and his family will be against you for life. Ask for Solomon's wisdom to handle your mil within his two remaining months
Poster, you said you can’t wait for your mum to come over. To me this means you just do not like your MIL’s presence no matter How good she is to you. Let me ask you, can you allow your babies sleep with your mum? If yes, then your MIL should be given that previledge too. It will even relieve you. She sounds like a good woman, open your heart and allow her in.
ReplyDeleteYour mum might not even take care of your babies as much as she is doing o. So relax dear
She tried to bleach her grand daughters with funbacta that’s who you guys are calling a loving mother in law
ReplyDeleteThis poster seems like she doesn't like her MIL at all, when you love her aliitle, take her as your mother, all this will be easy.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt, some mother inlaws are a handful but I will still advice you to tell her your mind.
If your MIL wanted to use funbacta on your kids, will you find it funny?
DeleteSounds like my mother in law. Reported me to pastor's wife for not allowing her to force feed and not allowing her to over press baby's body when bathing. Pastor's wife said i should allow iya to do what she likes. I still did not agree for the force feeding. I know she and pastor's wife were whispering as per fellow yorubas but e no concern me. Nobody carried pregnancy with me. As per the bathing, for peace to reign i leave the place so that i won't be forced to say something and say a silent prayer for God to save my baby. I was so happy when she left after 4 months. We will be here for a week if i start to recount everything.
ReplyDeleteThat bathing is torture. I witnessed my nephew cry all through, being pressed with hot water, cold water, arms pulled backwards, held upside down by the ankle etc and told hubby I didn't want that for my baby. MIL bath him the way normal people bath though she wasn't very happy about it.
Deletebut why do your people always do things the crude way.
DeleteSee this unfortunate woman that want to get her mother in law arrested. I won't be surprised if you get your husband roped in for police to pick and lock him up someday.
ReplyDeleteThought you're sensible till i got to that part. I wish some of your brothers wife get your mom locked up do you know how disrespectful it is.
I pity the man that married you.
Omo ofo.
The poster lacks maturity and relationship skills. She is full of hatred for her mother-in-law.
ReplyDeleteGet her away from your children by either inviting your mom over sooner, hiring a nanny or putting them in daycare.
ReplyDeleteIf I tell you its going to be easy I'll be lying. Please try to tolerant your mother in-law till she goes back to her base and always keep an eye on your kids when she is around them to avoid story that touches the heart but don't stop her from taking care of them. Apply wisdom in your dealings with her so that the environment will be peaceful for you all.
ReplyDeleteHow could you ever think of arresting your children's grandma?You are not a good person.
ReplyDeleteThat baby bathing that yoruba women do ehn.... when i was a teenager watching my mom do it for my nephews and nieces oh how they cried! I was always teary eyed myself. Then i got married, my mom was no more but my mother-in-law did it for my first daughter. I didn't like it at all as the baby cried a lot. But I eventually realised that my first baby was a fussy baby but after the bath massage, she would sleep like she was drugged. Plus within a month she became very strong, her grip very strong and firm. People were asking what i gave her to eat. When I had my second baby, mother-in-law could not stay for more than a week. No one advised me to bath my baby and massage her body the exact same way. She slept very well after each bath ehn; i made sure i timed her breastfeeding right after bathing so she would sleep with a full tummy. Men my babies were beautiful and healthy. They're big girls now. We tend to condemn what we don't understand.
ReplyDeleteStop force feeding babies and infants. A Naija grandmother/nanny was recently incarcerated for about 20 years in Maryland for the death of a child she force fed. Plus, omugwu isn't by force, ladies. Take care of your own kids. Shine eyes o.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mother is stressful on its own. I don’t know if it’s your first but it challenging to nurse two at ones. She has twins guys. She needs help.
ReplyDeletePoster, here is my advice: you have to be real patient and diplomatic with your mother in law.
She has good intentions and it may conflict with the way we raise our children in abroad.
1. Say a positive word before giving her feedback.
2. Simply let her know force feeding is not allowed here, the consequences for you, your husband and people in the household who engaged in such act. Give specific examples and point out her best intentions.
3. Determine in your heart, your taking care of three people. Most MIL expectations coming abroad is that they are their to relax... girl you have to buckle up and do the work. If she helps... thank her very well lol
4. Don’t threaten your MIL oo. Put yourself in her shoes( new environment, diff ways of doing things). Be very patient, pray and breathe