STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A STORY TO LEARN FROM....
Hello Stella.
I read the chronicle of April 25, 2019 and I just felt the need to send this in. Kindly post so someone can learn and not be as foolish as I was. I wish someone had warned me.
Let me tell you a little about my own experience.
I met a guy through my very best friend. I had been through hell in my last 3 relationships and sworn I wasn't ever going to date anyone.
My best friend(Gozie) thought his friend, Chinedu, was an angel and would make a great bf so he match made us on the request of Chinedu. Please note that they had been very close friends for a long time and were also colleagues and my friend only had good things to say about this Chinedu.
At first, I wasn't responsive because I wasn't ready for anything but my friend kept telling me how much of a great guy this Chinedu was and how I would be making a mistake if I didn't give things a Chance.
I swear that I have never met or heard of any human being more caring than this guy. Soft spoken, handsome, intelligent, "God-fearing", generous, hard-working, well-loved guy. Everybody loved him; men, women and children.
He would call me every day, and I mean every day, after work, for at least 2 hours(on a bad day). Even at times when he would go to the field or be on the rig and work was tight, he didn't fail. It seemed like he couldn't live without me. I didn't have to ask him before he would offer(I never really accepted any goodies because of pride). Before i knew it, i had started falling for this guy. But he never asked me out. We were like this for almost a year and i thought maybe he was shy and needed help....
I eventually picked his call and asked him to be honest with me And then he "opened up". He said his people do not like people from my side of the country because his cousins married from my state and even though we are not far from them and our languages sound similar, they had bad experiences with the 2 women from my place. That it is almost a taboo in his family to bring a girl from my place home. And he also said he wasn't still comfortable with the age difference between us as we were almost age mates and his idea of a relationship was that a man should be at least 3 -5 years older than the woman(Bastard! But you knew all that before you ever spoke to me).
Well you know what? I couldn't be cautious anymore and I fell even deeper than ever before. Things got even more heated between us and i was helpless. Gozie my best friend thought he was so good a guy and was worth the wait. So I started waiting. One year and a half into the whole thing and i demanded that he made it official between us or I walk. Well, I took a walk but couldn't go far.
Let me summarise the next 4-5 years of my life from then.
I kept waiting for him to make that commitment but he never did. Why didn't I leave? I don't know. I just couldn't go. And no, i am not even ugly at all. I am beautiful, from a very good home, earn my own money and i am very decent.
Well, he got an offer outside the country and one day i was going through his phone and i saw chats between him and a girl from his place he was sleeping with during one of our "off periods". He was telling her that its not like he didn't like her but reminded her that he had told her he was seeing someone.
So many regrets.
Dear Poster, please take that walk I was too foolish to take. Good for you that you don't even like him like that anymore but just in case, please run for your own sanity. If it's a case of shyness, when he sees that you have someone else and he still likes and wants to be with you, his tongue will loosen and he will do the needful. Some may say its not by asking a girl out but girl believe me, it would be easier to forgive yourself if he at least asked you out. But for now, its safe to assume he is just stringing you along. And it's better to be safe than sorry.
I pray for the wisdom of God to be upon you.
Hello Stella.
I read the chronicle of April 25, 2019 and I just felt the need to send this in. Kindly post so someone can learn and not be as foolish as I was. I wish someone had warned me.
Let me tell you a little about my own experience.
I met a guy through my very best friend. I had been through hell in my last 3 relationships and sworn I wasn't ever going to date anyone.
My best friend(Gozie) thought his friend, Chinedu, was an angel and would make a great bf so he match made us on the request of Chinedu. Please note that they had been very close friends for a long time and were also colleagues and my friend only had good things to say about this Chinedu.
At first, I wasn't responsive because I wasn't ready for anything but my friend kept telling me how much of a great guy this Chinedu was and how I would be making a mistake if I didn't give things a Chance.
I swear that I have never met or heard of any human being more caring than this guy. Soft spoken, handsome, intelligent, "God-fearing", generous, hard-working, well-loved guy. Everybody loved him; men, women and children.
He would call me every day, and I mean every day, after work, for at least 2 hours(on a bad day). Even at times when he would go to the field or be on the rig and work was tight, he didn't fail. It seemed like he couldn't live without me. I didn't have to ask him before he would offer(I never really accepted any goodies because of pride). Before i knew it, i had started falling for this guy. But he never asked me out. We were like this for almost a year and i thought maybe he was shy and needed help....
So I summoned courage and had that "heart to heart" talk. Let's just say that is one of the biggest mistake I have ever made. He said we should just see how it goes. That he liked me but he didn't think we were compatible and felt things won't work between us. I licked my wounds, cut him off and went back to my base.
He wouldn't let me be and started calling everyone that knew me. Gozie would speak on his behalf and plead with me to just give him a chance at friendship at least. That he was really confused. That he was sure he loved and wanted to be with me but he didn't know what the problem was.
I eventually picked his call and asked him to be honest with me And then he "opened up". He said his people do not like people from my side of the country because his cousins married from my state and even though we are not far from them and our languages sound similar, they had bad experiences with the 2 women from my place. That it is almost a taboo in his family to bring a girl from my place home. And he also said he wasn't still comfortable with the age difference between us as we were almost age mates and his idea of a relationship was that a man should be at least 3 -5 years older than the woman(Bastard! But you knew all that before you ever spoke to me).
I should have fled then and moved on but he looked like he was going to die if I blocked him off again so I decided to remain friends with caution.
Well you know what? I couldn't be cautious anymore and I fell even deeper than ever before. Things got even more heated between us and i was helpless. Gozie my best friend thought he was so good a guy and was worth the wait. So I started waiting. One year and a half into the whole thing and i demanded that he made it official between us or I walk. Well, I took a walk but couldn't go far.
Let me summarise the next 4-5 years of my life from then.
I kept waiting for him to make that commitment but he never did. Why didn't I leave? I don't know. I just couldn't go. And no, i am not even ugly at all. I am beautiful, from a very good home, earn my own money and i am very decent.
We had a lot of "on and off" periods. He would still show all that love and attention but never made it official. He tried seeing other people but it just didn't work while I was just there waiting. I couldn't let any one touch me. I couldn't even get involved with anyone. I am anonymous and I don't have to lie.
At a time, he got a girl from his place(as that is his family's preference)but even a blind man could see he didn't love her. He would still run to my place to see me and be with me. He eventually told her about me and broke up with her( I found out he told her he wasn't over me and needed sometime). Somewhere in my stupid mind, I thought he loved me and it was just a matter of time.
For over 4 years? Kai!!!!
Well, he got an offer outside the country and one day i was going through his phone and i saw chats between him and a girl from his place he was sleeping with during one of our "off periods". He was telling her that its not like he didn't like her but reminded her that he had told her he was seeing someone.
LIESSSS!!!!!
He wasn't seeing anyone but he had devised a way to let her down easy from the very beginning because he knew he wasn't going to take her serious just as he did with me. I also saw a chat with one girl And I saw he was trying to get her attention but she had heard that he was a confused guy so she wasn't giving it to him. And the Worst, I saw his chat with a lady that had been sending him pictures of different girls but he was rejecting them for different reasons especially hometown. And when he was sent the picture of one from his local government area, he said he desired to marry a girl from his very hometown. That that was what was going to satisfy him. I was so mad and felt stooopppiiidddddd and the scales fell off. We had a very big quarrel and I left in the morning. Well, he left the country a month later and blocked me on WhatsApp.
I blocked him too everywhere. WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook. Haven't spoken for over 8 months now. I still think of him everyday.The wound is still very sore.The emotional trauma i went through and still go through everyday or Is it the opportunities, both within and outside the country, that I didn't follow up on because of my foolishness? Oh God! I pray everyday to forgive myself. You can call me names and insult me all you want but I pray nobody ever makes the same mistakes I made.
So many regrets.
Dear Poster, please take that walk I was too foolish to take. Good for you that you don't even like him like that anymore but just in case, please run for your own sanity. If it's a case of shyness, when he sees that you have someone else and he still likes and wants to be with you, his tongue will loosen and he will do the needful. Some may say its not by asking a girl out but girl believe me, it would be easier to forgive yourself if he at least asked you out. But for now, its safe to assume he is just stringing you along. And it's better to be safe than sorry.
I pray for the wisdom of God to be upon you.
*So he just left like that?Please forget him for good and love will find you soon...good that the scales fell off your eyes!!!
Darling, you didn’t make a mistake asking him “what do you want?”, your mistake was not walking away after he was honest that he couldn’t be committed and that’s what happens to almost every woman/human.
ReplyDeleteThat meat that they’ve asked us not to touch or eat is the one we salivate over. You had to go through this to learn a lesson to take people for who they are especially in their words.
The guy is a player and he not committing to you has nothing to do with his family and the concocted taboo story. He is in a serious relationship and he’d continue to play with every girl with the same lies until he marries his main chic. Take as much time as you need to heal but trust me when you heal you won’t even remember that an idiot took you for a fool.
Hes not in any serious relationship.
DeleteHe knows what he wants and hasnt found it yet, but chooses to deceive the gullible ladies
But after the man told her he wasn't going to commit to her, why did she stay? Many women like to think they're the special one that will change a man or his mind. When their plans fail, they cry foul. This is how many women were hanging around Simon Cowell even after he said many times he doesn't want to get married or have children. They refused to leave, each hoped they would be the one who would make him change his mind. The person he's now with and has a child by, was someone who wasn't even trying. In the same way, Nigerian girls will pack themselves where God didn't send them. But when the man suddenly marries someone else after one month of meeting, someone that wasn't even trying to be the one, the girl that spent years that nobody sent her will be sending chronicles
DeleteExactly!
DeleteHe knows what he wants but haven't found it yet
they are still hanging around Simone cuz they think one day he will cave in like George Clooney
Deletewomen should wise up, a man is supposed to woo you, don't stay with someone who cannot define what he wants
I am the poster and I just have to correct certain perception. I didn’t go in-depth because I didn’t want the chronicle to be too long and I just wanted to pass a message across.
DeleteHe didn’t tell me it won’t work.
He always found a way to come back around me.
I remember one time in 2015. I had moved on totally. Didn’t even remember his name but you know what?! He came back begging. Looking for me around the country as I had relocated briefly. The day i pocked his call after 2 months. He cried so hard I felt so bad.
Or was it in 2016 when I eventually spoke to him after almost 6months, you should have seen him. He is irrelevant right now so I will just here.
And might I add, when people send in their chronicles, they are mostly hurting. You should be easy with your choice of words.
Shalom!
I replied your comment @16:28. But Stella didn’t post it and I don’t have the strength to type again.
DeleteKey to note is that he begged me to stay with him. Especially for the 1st 2 years. Read where I said he kept coming back to me. In my own case, I was damn too in love to walk away. Tried a couple of time and was actually successful but he always found a way to get me back. If you know the things this guy did for me, some mothers can’t do it for their children.
Well! It’s done. I am moving on. Gradually though.
And please, can you people be kinder with words when giving advice to a poster? People are really going through stuff and your words could be all they need to jump off a bridge.
Thank you
Too long a chronicle! Well you've learnt your lesson hence this chronicle. Some people will still read this and not learn a thing or two
ReplyDeleteWow, God help us all.
ReplyDeleteI was in that bottomless pit years ago, pining for one stupid guy but when the whole scale fell off, he became an embarrassment to me and I'm happy it never ended in marriage between both of us!
DeleteDidirin why not wait for him more at least 4 years until you enter menopause I don't know what kind mum love makes women so foolish,guy that can't break any tradition or protocol for you is not worthy of you .. Waka pass
ReplyDeleteOr maybe he doesn't see her as the one worthy enough for him to break traditions or protocol for
DeleteI hope u didn’t follow pple to bash Regina. See y her mother didn’t want her wasting her youths on small small boys?
DeleteWe don't need to insult each other before passing across our message. Let us learn to correct in love.
DeleteMay you never fall as deep as I did.
DeleteKo to yẹn now why calling her dindinrin.
DeleteDon't judge the poster! We are human and we all make mistakes. Poster, This also happened to me and like you, I asked the guy to define the relationship but he kept stalling. The only difference is, it lasted 8 months but that time is valuable too.
DeleteI also blocked him every where and learnt a valuable lesson that some people are Mean and Nasty. Thank God you didn't end up with him because his type are usually two-faced.
Everyone outside will sing his praise but inside, those type of guys are usually manipulative. Forgive yourself and build yourself, it is NOT your fault. I also fell for the trap because my close friend linked us up, so your story is very close to mine. I'm in a better place now, and the experience has helped me weed out manipulative types like that.
I Applaud you that you left, no matter how late. You left and found your self!
Dont say you were waiting for him!!
ReplyDeleteThat statement is a LIE.
You didnt have a better option.
Ceasar was right!!!
Where did you have to port to?
Hahahahahahahahaha
DeleteIf only you know the calibre of men I turned down because my whole heart, mind and spirit was in love with him.
Yes! I loved him albeit too deeply and without caution but it was just how I wanted to be loved. With reckless abandon.
I'm here to learn,learn and learn. Thanks poster
ReplyDeleteIts just so unfair how people are bashing her,
DeleteWe all cant be wise .
Yes, her story is humbling for me....
DeleteYou felt a bird at hand is worth 10 in the bush, there was no bird in your hand, just feathers... & you kept comparing that imaginary bird at hand to the Sparrows and Robins in the garden, how'd you see their colours when you wouldnt go close, now your feather has been blown off, the other birds are also gone, age has also gone! Hope u get over him quickly & create a vacuum for someother....
ReplyDeleteCrazy comment but plain truth.. 😂
DeleteLoooool.... But the guy was honest nah!!!
DeleteSorry for the wait, you'll be fine
....thats how they'd stand at bus stop and be waiting for plane for 4yrs.
DeleteIf that guy was still in this country, it'd still go on till 2022
Cookie He was honest but kept begging and crying....How does that describe him as a honest person...enlighten me biko
DeleteBirds, feather, sparrow, robin; all gone now. I am getting better daily.
DeleteIf you know the depth of the story, I don’t think you will blame me much.
I only loved hard and deep.
Yaba come and carry Tonto to Yaba so she can be healed like you
DeleteGodforbid.
DeleteThe drug that'd cure that one, scientists have not come up with it, na special case.
That is how I pinned for someone for about 5 yrs. Na me tire nau. And when I got my head back I realized it was for the best. We never would have made it, I think. It is well with you poster. I'm looking forward to your testimony on this blog. Thanks for sharing.
DeletePoster thank God you left him. He is a 'mummy's boy' and very confused. While he continues running around looking for his cousin to marry, God will give you your better half. Dust yourself, and move on with your head held high. Cheer up, it will surely end in praise.
ReplyDeleteShe didnt leave him oh...
DeleteHe travelled out, na the luck she get, the guy has her mumu button.
Thanks blessed princess.
DeleteAnon15:44, I actually left him before he travelled. Threatened to kill him if he ever contacted me
Lmao @ she didn't leave him
Delete😂😂😂you people ehn
Poster be strong. The will restore all your wasted years.
DeleteI keep saying this and it'll be like I am too holy for my own good. That you hear a person likes you, doesn't mean they're yours! Same with being God-fearing, hardworking, good-looking or anything else. All those wicked friends and family members that keep using people's qualities as excuses to drive you to your own destruction, and they say they're concerned about you. Smh.
ReplyDeleteSee, let me be honest with you. Some people already know they will not marry you. But you give them permission to use you to pass time till the person they will marry, is ready! Forget your not being from their place or what his mother says or any excuse. You're just not it. BTW, this goes for men and women.
Ogaooooo...love wey some of us dey find wey we no see...am happy for u ooooooooo
ReplyDeleteWhat an experience you have,Poster.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the scales has fallen off from your eyes.
You have to be strong from now on
You have to let go of your past.There's no need abhorring on the past. YOU take the lessons and move on.Life is too short to cry over the past.
There's really no need scolding you. You loved, yes, you loved........but you loved the wrong man.
Open your heart and mind and please don't shut your head when next you feel you're ready to be in a relationship.
Take note of all that he does and says. He told you his stand but your heart was interpreting sweet nothings to your brain.
Thanks a lot
DeleteBelieve me I am better for it
It is well my sister, as long as your eyes don clear, pls move and and love will find you. I experienced such too ut mine was just a year. The guy wouldn't commit till i found out that he was married. It is not the end of the world babe, dust yourself and find love again.
ReplyDeleteKiaaaa I have met this sort of man before. The only difference is I wasn't stupid enuf to waste 4yrs on him. Mine was just a year I wasted. I fell in love and the guy refused to define the relationship.
ReplyDeleteMy only pain was that at that period,my friends cousin,a very hot guy was showing interest in me and it was for marriage. But I was clearly still in lust with the other guy. He got tired and stopped bothering with me.
This guy will tell me right now he is going through so much. He can't handle a relationship right now bla bla.
I just had to give myself brain, met someone else and stopped contacting him. Deleted all his nos. He used to also use the excuse of our difference in tribe. I am Yoruba while he's
Delta. Guess what some time later,he got married,to an igala girl sef.
SMH @ some women. My husband and I are from different tribes. MIL nearly died of shock when she learned that her son is actually married to me - relevant family and town elders went to my place, paid my brideprice and didn't mention it to her. No, I wasn't pregnant. Some of her friends knew and did yimu whenever she boasted about how her word is the only law in the lives of her children.
DeleteThere's a person for whom EVERYONE will break rules. So, when a person starts telling you how tribe this, his/her mother that, ask yourself if it's God or you that sent yourself.
At a point in a relationship we all know where it's heading,truth is some of us hate to face reality ie wasting precious time on what shouldn't have been.
ReplyDeleteTrue
DeletePls be strong, something tells me he will pop out of d blues one day.
ReplyDeleteOpen up to others and don't fall too fast no matter how great he is...get a grip over ur heart, sometimes if a guy is acting confused, play his game too, act confused too, players deserve a cold hearted girl, lead them on n ghost...but its bad when u meet a genuine guy and d ghosting spirit won't let u be great.
Hahahahahaha
DeleteI can’t believe this. Thanks BB.
I threatened to kill him if he ever contacts me.
He wont pop out of anywhere. Don't hold your breath. Move on
DeleteI'm so sorry but I swear I can't relate to this at all. I thank God that you are blaming no one but yourself.
ReplyDeleteHe did nothing wrong in my opinion.
Continue to gather strength and move on. Not when he unblocks you in December your body will start doing you polli polli...
Everybody shine your eyes, there is so much free sex hovering around these days and we are all taking advantage. A guy that wants to settle with you will make it expressly clear. Ma ofodu the one that said it out straight 'you are not my type and you still gum there. He was doing like he wants to die, you are you not somebody's child??
I thought it was just me. The guy told her plain, she chose to stay there like a tree for what's not her own
DeleteThe signs of a time waster is always visible but most times, people are carried away because of "love".
ReplyDeleteMay God give you your own.
Amennnnnnnnnnn!! Fire!!
ReplyDeleteHehehehehhehe 🤣🤣
Hmm girl, that was how I dated a guy for 2 years, he loved me so I tot, but he kept on telling me that he is not ready to be under the umbrella of relationship, and whenever I ask him y, he will say he just like us to be friends, yet he can't stay a day without sex, I kept supplying him with egusi soup as that seems to be his favorite, my dear after all the supply of soup and yansh, I walked out of the friendship zone and met my loving hubby, and we are blessed with a boy and a girl, and guess what, my friend is still single, is more than 7 years since I left him.
ReplyDeleteYou werent dating na..
DeleteNa you no gree get sense.
Lmao. Sorry I laughed abeg.'soup and yansh'. Awon destiny wasters,die by fire!!!
DeleteLol. A man that really wants you will define relationship quickly to mark his territory. Just friends but you were supplying him with steady sex and egusi. Were you trying to change his mind?
DeleteGreatest mistake is to listen to what the person (be pastor).that introduced you to your boyfriend says about your relationship. If your boyfriend can not defined the relationship. Please just friendzone him i repeat B 4 you start catching feelings
ReplyDeleteI understand you poster but you waited for so long. I'd advise girls not to invest more than a year with any man except you know he really loves you and wants to marry you but is hampered financially. A year is enough for a man to know you well and decide if he wants to be with you for life. If he refuses to propose after one year, use style to dump him gradually. You don't even need to tell him your reason. It's far better and you recover faster because the break up was on your own terms rather than having your heart crushed after so many years of waiting.
ReplyDeleteKai this is painful & it's only peeps who's been dating a particular guy for like 3-5yrs without commitment that can understand how it feels to be dumped like this. I pray God heals you, brings back your sanity. Help yourself by forgiving yourself & the negativity & pain will ease off.
ReplyDeleteExperience is indeed the best teacher
ReplyDeleteposter shit happens we win some and lose some ...... always remember when you try to get in your feelings remember who you are .
ReplyDeleteyou will be alright , it hurts but your ability to keep reassuring yourself that you did your best .
Take time to heal properly before diving into another relationship and girl its not about make i pepper am but go out and have genuine fun ( if its exploring restaurants, countries ).
Please, also remove his brother that recommended him from your life. Some people will know their friends or family members are mad, yet be recommending you. See as they wanted to carry you and give someone that has already promised to dash you slap
ReplyDeleteAwon time wasters....yoruba will say
ReplyDeleteEat ot.....it is bone
Throw it away....There is little meat
You were told to eat it... You refused. You said it is simply a bone.
DeleteYou were then told to throw it away....you para and said there is little meat left on it😂😂😂😂. Real time wasters
It's so easy to pontificate when you aren't the one the spotlight is fixed on. Before I got married, I always prayed that I don't fall for the wrong man because I love hard. You may think you're a tough cookie and no man can toy with your emotions... just pray that you don't encounter the wrong guy.
ReplyDeleteLove dulls the senses and is rarely rational. A person with a phd and more degrees than a themometer, when shot by cupid's arrow, can act like he/she has the IQ of the average shoe size, to the irritation of observers. If you claim to be in love and most of your decisions are rational, it probably isn't love. It may be profound fondness or immense attraction. That thing called love has this unique way of messing with your ability to process information in a rational way. Have you seen a man in love? He is worse than a woman in love, he acts like he has been hexed or under some form of spiritual manipulation. The object of his affection can do no wrong in his eyes even with her obvious flaws, she's perfect and you risk his wrath if you dare point out her flaws.
Sweetheart, I totally understand what you went through and would dare not criticise you. The difference between you and I is, I fell hard for a guy who caught me and fell harder. The reciprocity of his love covered a multitude of all the "stupid" decisions I made, which in turn made the "stupid" decisions seem calculated and precise. People love our love and always use us as "couples goals". My friends always feel I'm super smart when it comes to matters of the heart, if only they knew! Darling, perhaps I would have been in your shoes if not in a tighter pair if not for God's favour that hooked me up with the bone of my bones. I was on my way out of the country for good when I saw my Heartbeat making a beeline towards me and POOF! There went my dreams of relocating. I could barely stay a month before I returned to Nigeria, of course he didn't know he was the reason at that time. I wonder how my life would have been if he turned out to be the wrong guy? That was a very silly move which I would counsel against, but he made it the best decision I ever made because it turned out so right even 17 years later.
Darling, lick your wounds and don't be too hard on yourself. It can happen to the best of us. Some of us were just lucky. Just make sure you learn life lessons from your mistakes as I'm sure you have. I pray you find the guy tailor made for you and you experience what it feels like to love and be loved even harder.
e-hugs and kisses.
Well said Ronalda.
Delete100/100 = 100%👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
DeleteGod bless you real good Ron.,I'm blessed by your kind words .
DeleteThanks wise one.
DeleteI lost 2 opportunities to leave the country as well because I thought I couldn’t live without him.
Oh well! I am still breathing.
Thanks for being human, and open with your story, Ronalda.
DeleteI admire your style of writing .
DeleteWelldone
Chinwe Uba
Ronalda is the only sane and intelligent woman on this blog.you earned my heart yet again 👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteThank you for your words of wisdom!
DeleteThis is so funny, 🤣🤣🤣😂😂
ReplyDeleteThe guy is crazy I swear to God!
I dated my first boyfriend for over 15 years on and off, after I got married he said he was ready and I wasn’t patient enough.
ReplyDeleteOne day I pray to have the energy to send in my story so young women can learn from it.
Please do very soon
DeleteHe's coming back. Even if he marries someone else he will come back. He won't stop disturbing you.
ReplyDelete“He is a good guy” These ones are the worse form of manipulators hence poster I can understand why u stayed for so long, These sort of guys are well calculated know the right things to say and when to say them. But it is well poster, I just believe everyone would get what they deserve last last. Sending hugs ur way.
ReplyDeleteDear guys,
You string a girl along for a year and counting knowing full well you will not get married to her and you think it will be well with you? It does not matter If you told the lady where you stand from the onset there is a clear cut between having a fling with someone and knowing full well that this lady has submitted her heart to the palm of your hands, even if she sticks like glue to you why not help her in time cut contact be truthful to her but noooo...you will collect fuck, collect food and collect love and you say you want your path to be smooth in life.
Where is our conscience first as human beings? Where is our sense of self? Do u all forget you will have kids one day? Do u not have siblings? How would u like it if they are been treated as such? Karma is a bitch.
You know what I did. I let myself cry for a very long time. I cried everyday for months. And then I placed him befor God. If he Knew all along and was just playing me, he has 3 sisters and will have daughters one day, He will witness their misery for the rest of his life. Worse than the torture I went through. And worse is that he won’t be able to do anything about it.
DeleteForgive him even though it’s hard, wish him well or wish him nothing at all, be of a clean heart poster let go and let God.
DeletePersonally, I have never liked the idea of Match making
ReplyDeletePersonally I hate it and run very far from anything called matchmaking.Let God divinely match make us biko before I carry beef for the matchmaker wey put me for the gbese. My mum tried that matchmaking guy even came to the house bought wall paintings for her. For where? Everything about him just irritated me. He wasn’t badlooking tho but naa I love to meet u one on one.
DeletePoster please move on love.give someone else a chance to love you better.i used to think I wasn’t capable of falling in love and getting true love in return but my fiancée proved me wrong,oh my baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me.i pray love finds you soon
DeletePoster only loved! And that is not a crime! You must forgive urself. We talk about forgiving others all the time but we rarely accept forgiving ourselves. So poster FORGIVE urself.
ReplyDeleteHmmm Stella. I am experiencing same oh. There is this guy I love oh, he knows I love him and one time he talked marriage but since then ,he doesn't even act as someone who likes me.we have been on this on and off for two years now oh. He wants sex but doesn't want to commit to the relationship. Stella can you imagine I asked him why he doesn't call me as someone who even likes someone do u know what he said to me " he isn't used to that kind of a thing and if I wish to speak to him, I should call or text him and he will reply. Hmmm see my life. I decided to fall in love with someone else but he broke my heart and now I am back to this unserious ,unstable guy. Other guys are giving me attention and I haven't been reciprocating. I have decided to give myself brain and focus on them. But Stella dey don't have money and truth is I have mine but I need someone who has more than me. I have struggled too much and I am tired of stuggling.
ReplyDeleteAunty
DeletePleasseeee
In God’s Name, give yourself brain. I am begging you. If you want someone that has money, you will see him in front. Leave this ones in the past where they belong.
Most of you are HORRIBLE on this blog, with no atom of empathy, sensitivity and objectivity.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know if it’s a group of bitter, extremely judgemental and miserable women that make up a good portion of this blog. But from what I’m seeing here, anyone who comes here telling a personal story, seeking solace, clarity or just to inspire is wasting their time.
Most of the people here spent their time dwelling on how “stupid / foolish” the poster was for remaining in the relationship for that period of time. Makes me wonder the type of people that truly visit and comment on this blog.
Are they really bitter housewives? Shallow minded people who know nothing but misery? People who insult others to make themselves feel better?
Stella, at some point you have to play a greater role in moderating your comments especially when it comes to personal stories like this.
She didn’t ask for advice, she only shared her story to help someone else - a fellow BV but somehow, you guys managed to bash her, in the end it reduces and cheapens the objective of the narrative.
Stella, your brand is growing and expanding. You live in a Western country. You know more than most of your BVs. It’s your responsibility to show them the way. Your blog is becoming too toxic, even for people who just want to talk.