Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Hilarious Compilation Of Things That Supposedly Define Africans

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Thursday, May 30, 2019

Hilarious Compilation Of Things That Supposedly Define Africans

I went through this list and i am guilty of some.......hehehehehe






1. Urinating behind the Latrine.

2. Wife sleeping next to the wall.

3.Keeping brooms behind the door.

4. When you get rich, people say you have a snake

5. When you take shower,they ask where you want to go.

6. Keeping some plates,cups and spoons aside specifically for visitors.

7. Counting pieces of meat!

8. No natural death in Africa......your enemy is always the cause.

9. Counting money after withdrawing it from the ATM.

10. Marrying a beautiful woman is associated with marrying a prostitute.

11. When one is given a microphone, they first blow air into it to test whether it can work.

12. There are some special parts of meat that are always for the husband eg. the gizzard.

13.Removing shoes when there is mud.

14.Buying new clothes when its Christmas.

15. Sweeping the whole compound when one is expecting visitors.

16. Looking left and right when crossing a one way road.

17. Women counting pieces of meat after cooking.

18. Preserving an empty plastic bottle after consuming its content.

19. Reserving a special chair for the husband/ father.

20. Asking for dash when you buy.

21. Telling children to tell visitors that you are not around, though you're in.

22. Peeling of the skin of molded bread to eat the inside.

23. Enjoying the aroma coming from a neighbour's kitchen.

24. Smelling your armpit to know if you should bathe.

25. Using your fingers as toothpick.

26. Expecting more...?


Hehehehehhe Please any you think should be on this list...

79 comments:

  1. Wife sleeping next to the wall
    Who started that?? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    I am guilty of many

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. Sometimes I put my legs on the wall ๐Ÿค“

      Delete
    2. Yoruba will say u are a witch ..slutty. Me i love sleeping on the wall cos its cold

      Delete
    3. SDK
      That looking left and right on a way road is very necessary in Nigeria especially Mile 2 road i.e Oshodi Apapa road
      The rate drivers take one way on that due to thoes trailer that blocked the road.
      One need to be very careful
      Wives sleeping next to the wall
      Actually men generally likes when women sleep inside,
      Even some female friends will order u to sleep inside *wall* even in your own apartment

      Delete
    4. You are talking about drivers what of those aboki bike men that can appear from no where and be on speed

      Delete
  2. Guilty of no 18, I get plenty empty bottles for house

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very true, especially in lagos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is very true? If you re not dropping incomplete yarns, you are giving wrong answers to questions.

      Delete
    2. No 16 is very true, especially in Lagos.

      Delete
    3. Anon, can you kindly leave Cynthia alone pls? Not everybody deserve an attack here.

      Delete
    4. Idiotic monitoring spirit.Why not face those that give complete yarns.

      Delete
  4. I do not understand number one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shhhh please let me hide here.
      26. Expecting females to get married immediately after graduation.

      27. Counting down to delivery of a baby from wedding month.

      28. It's unusual for a family to have one child.

      Delete
    2. 29. Single young women living alone are perceived irresponsible.

      30. It is criminal to be a successful single woman! And if you are, don't you dare buy a car!

      Delete
    3. U are so right Mama Mia..29&30 so true. I don tire with the mentality

      Delete
    4. 31. First born especially females should be the first to get married
      32. Rice is for sundays' and special occasions

      Delete
    5. You are so right Mama Mia๐Ÿ˜€

      Delete
  5. When they see you have big boobs and ass, they start to say “Na so so shit full that yansh o”������

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Slutchic, you must be associating with Agberos, only them can talk like this.

      Delete
  6. Yea this definitely doesn't apply to me...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Using ice cream plate to preserve food in the refrigerator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      I shared ice cream someone got for me with a colleague and its the plate she now uses to bring food to school

      Delete
  8. Cooking rice on sundays ๐Ÿคฃ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still do it till date ooo Sunday is for RICE!!!!

      Delete
  9. Sleeping close to wall is so me. Hubby done complain him done keep quite.

    ReplyDelete
  10. No 3, what we kept behind the door in those days was cutlass esp @ night. My dad no dey hear go come.

    No 12, I don't eat chicken head, feet & that triangular part they say is the buttocks. Hubby or anyone can have it๐Ÿ˜

    No 16 is very very important especially in this Lagos before one okada will come from 'nowhere' and you'll find yourself in igbobi.

    No 18, yes very important too. We use it for zobo and kunu.





    ReplyDelete
  11. Lol... No 9 is very important ooo, last year an ATM dispensed N9,500 as against N10,000.I noticed because I counted and the machine is beside an eatery,had to send a mail to the bank and was reimbursed.
    My former boss wanted N10,000 but received N11,000 instead and was debited N10,000. Lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. E be like say I go start to dey count. If dem wan laugh me, make dem laugh

      Delete
    2. Let me start counting too abeg.

      Delete
    3. I still counted today
      Last year December, I wanted to withdraw 20 but machine brought out 17k

      Delete
  12. Choi!!! Counting money after withdrawing from the ATM... I even did that last night.lol...
    Can't help it sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Let me add,

    When they see you as a young girl (say teenager) with big boobs, they will say you have started following man.

    When you have stretch marks as a young lady, they will say you have been pregnant before. My mom was guilty of this those days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha haha ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ so true

      Delete
  14. Chinese do the ATM counting too. I had to tell a Chinese lady to excuse me yesterday here in London when she withdrew money and started counting before she left. I have changed the sleeping by the wall, and moved hubby towards the wall under the pretence of watching the TV

    ReplyDelete
  15. Guilty as charged but not in all.

    ReplyDelete
  16. 1. Always have this crazy mentality that Wall geckos are sent to monitor me at home...
    2.Checking locked doors to be sure they are properly locked.
    Expected stand for an elder to sit.
    3.Bargaining for stuffs even at the Supermarkets ,Boutiques and big shops.
    4.Tasting Garri before buying.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate wall geckos ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

      Delete
    2. Tasting Suya before buying; chei school days.

      Delete
  17. So True

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  18. guilty of most of it
    1. storing of black polythene nylon
    2. keeping of used plastic
    3. using of ice cream plastic for storing food in the fridge
    4.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m guilty of nos 3.....lol sometimes I even buy ice cream cos I need the plastic

      Delete
  19. When you become rich after loosing a loved one, they will say you have joined a cult.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Some people say when lizard steps on a female, means she’s pregnant๐Ÿ’๐Ÿฟ‍♂️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is very true. Anytime I'm pregnant especially the first two weeks a lizard must run across my legs.

      Delete
    2. My mum sees baby lizard whenever anyone close to her is pregnant

      Delete
    3. Do you live in the bush? @ anony19:56

      Delete
  21. My neighbor blamed enemies of killing her dad of 102yrs,the thing weak me..
    Last week my neighbors security knocked on my gate,when I opened he said "sis I dae outside since dae perceive smell of fry plantain na e I trace am com your side,abeg if e plenty give me small make I join you chop"I laughed and gave him,he was great ful.
    I had a friend back in sec sch,she peels the back of eggroll before eating.bleble hope you have changed.
    One is very dangerous expecially with the kiakia infested brain of most commercial drivers.
    I don't have sleeping position,I might end up on the floor few mins after falling asleep on my bed.
    No vexo jare I still count my money from ATM .....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember my roomie back then in the Uni. She was my bunkie...
      One night, she fell from up ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ she’s the type that sleeps anyhow.
      For like 3 days, she couldn’t stand up.
      People that sleep on the upper bunk dey try ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
    2. Grateful not great ful.

      Delete
    3. Fell from her up bunk? Chai! I just don't want to imagine the pain.

      Delete
    4. When I was small na under bed I dey wake up. I had to learn how to sleep in one place. Now I don't even move

      Delete
    5. I fell down from the bunk during my 3weeks in camp, I wasn't asleep though. Wat Im my even saying the bunk collapse with full force, but I quickly jumped out

      Delete
    6. Wow! @Black.
      You mean you're a graduate??

      Delete
  22. Anybody living in Lagos is guilty of no16

    ReplyDelete
  23. Guilty
    Especially the bread own, e Dey vex my pupsi ehnn
    I'll only eat the middle part

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here....my husband is tired of complaining

      Delete
  24. Keeping broom at the back of the door ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ so guilty

    Using empty ice cream plate to store food in the freezer too๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  25. Number 16 is very important in Lagos o, especially at Apapa and its environs where the trucks and the likes of it have taken over and we are left with just one lane.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Using ice cream container for storing food in the fridge

    ReplyDelete
  27. l am guilty of almost all of them

    ReplyDelete
  28. Pulling of ears after telling people they've added weight.

    Stepping on someone's spit is perceived as causing sore throat.

    Whistling at night attract snakes.

    ReplyDelete
  29. ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

    ReplyDelete
  30. Putting a strand of thread from a baby's cloth to stop hiccups.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother in law is sitting on this table.....she believes so much in this rubbish ehn

      Delete
  31. Every country with their culture,this is nigeria and this is our way of life and i love it like this,all of una sabi sabi people na una know.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Killing life chicken on Christmas day

    ReplyDelete
  33. Dipping bread inside tea can be glorious.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Sunday rice is non negotiable.

    ReplyDelete

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