Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Amebo Column - What Your Kids Do In Public Refelcts What You Do In Private..

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Saturday, August 24, 2019

Amebo Column - What Your Kids Do In Public Refelcts What You Do In Private..

I hope you know that Kids are a reflection of what you do behind closed doors!







Please on no grounds should your kids sit when you have adult guests at your house. Kids have no business contributing to any adult conversations. It has nothing to do with open mindedness! Why should your kid hold on to the TV remote while you have guests? And they don't even greet the adults on entering your apartment!

Why do you have to remind them to kneel or prostrate to greet their grannies!


It doesn't matter if grannies choose to pull them up to a warm hug! LET THEM DO THE RIGHT THING FIRST! If you do not teach your kids to honour adults and elderly guests, they will dishonour you eventually! 


It would be worse if this happens at your old age!

Learn to seperate love from home trainning!

Kids are a reflection of what you do behind closed doors!


I have seen kids of some really wealthy individuals in a summer class and honestly, i was beyond thrilled to find a good number of these kids show respect and regard to their chauffers and Nannys.

I also saw the ones who would fight, kick and slap their helps in the glaring face of all.

I studied their parents particularly the mothers who showed up for class party and it all just made clear sense! I could match each parent with the kid based on their dispositions; and the mean, nasty kids either had a pompous, cold mother who wouldn't mingle with the other parents or felt asking for the 'surname' of the other kids before inviting them over for her son's birthday was a statutory requirement.


Look, money and fame will not bring rest of mind at old age. You will reflect on how your kids have turned out and your lapses will stare you in the face. The friendliest kid I had in my class was raised by a single dad. That man made everyone laugh so hard, you could tell his son was an exact replica of his father! His mom died at childbirth!

 Let's be factual here but some men are better parents than women and It has nothing to do with sentiments or gender preference.


If you have a spouse who's willing to join hands to train them appropriately, PLEASE DO! If he's preoccupied with keeping the bills happy! Please JUST GIVE DISCIPLINE YOUR BEST SHOT!

35 comments:

  1. Very true... discipline is key... I know how embarrassing it is to see children behave unruly outside. Parents unable to control them again.. I shine my eyes well on that... almost missed my way with my kids on greeting... but we are back on track.. not fully.. but we have made progress and we are keeping at it at.. moving on each day. .
    Let all parents.. . Guidance... give it thier best shot ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you for this right up. I live in the abroad and we had my departmental meeting in someones House and most of us had to bring our children because it was a weekend. One of us brought her 3 girls age 8-14 years who were contributing in our discussions and the woman so no wrong in it and I just smiled and thanked God.
      Eventually 2 of the ladies had to caution the kids and one asked them to go and play in the garden when there mum made a statement that she is so proud of her daughters because they are very mature. Seriously ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™„.
      Train up your children with love but my children dear not try it. They know better.
      May God help us all and give us the ability to lead this children right.

      Delete
    2. Imagine!
      End time maturity if you ask me @16:06.
      Kids have no business contributing to an all adult's discussion, except they were asked/invited to contribute. The only exception is if the adults are family members.

      Amebo I am really enjoying your column, keep it up.

      Delete
  2. Such a wonderful writeup! Kids learn by example so so much. Watched a clip of a boy of 6 who was always putting marks on the body of another kid in class. It was later found out that his father was abusing the mother at home and the boy saw it a lot even though the parents thought the boy never saw! I had a friend in uni who thought I was too expressive with showing my love. That is how I know how to. Because that is how I grew up. But I notice it was hard for her because she grew up in an environment where she did not hear her parents and simblings say ‘I lobe u’. These kids are most times a reflection of parental upbringing. So parents Watch it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this write up
    My mom will greet everyone on the street till we get to her shop and you must do the same. My brother will say mommy, be going I will meet you there. Because he knows he has to greet like" ole n tele alfa".....๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Abi the body language.... Where there is a visitor and you want to choke mouth, the eyes she will use to finish you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mum taught me never to eavesdrop or contribute when two people (especially adults) are talking. You must always excuse yourself when the conversation starts.

      Delete
    2. Gbam!
      Olori and Omeh you are both correct,i am trying to inculcate same on my kids.
      You have to open your mouth and greet oh, no time for nonsense!

      Delete
  4. Thank you poster, discipline is key.
    No one says kill or stifle the child, but don’t enable rubbish or let misdemeanor slide simply because you feel a need to be friends with the children.
    Kids should be free with their parents, but before being their friend, be their parent! The costs of failing in parental duties is steep!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aptly written!
      The cost of failing in parental duties is STEEP!

      Delete
  5. I detest badly behaved children.
    I can't stand them.


    Wonderful write up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same WhatsApp group. Especially those spoilt brats u see at the shopping mall. Screaming and throwing themselves on the floor cos their parents says, no u can't have that. I remember beating a 3 year old child when I was teaching cos she opened my bag and ate cake that was shared in class. We don't normally give them them cake, just the party packs cos we don't want trouble from parents complaining that their kids have stomach upset cos of what they ate. This little brat opened my bag and ate the cake, I beat her eheen for bathroom.she cried and forgot ooo, but when she heard her dad had come to pick her up, she started the cry again. I personally took her downstairs to meet him. When he saw her, his voiced raised and was like what happened to you? Am like oga lower your voice, this is what your child did. Chaai.. See shame for the man face. He grabbed her and almost threw her inside the car. He now brought out his phone and called his wife saying"your daughter has done it again " and was shouting at her. Am like ooooo boy this pikin don tey for this business and it's a shame. I can never forget that day.

      Delete
    2. A 3 year old ate your cake and you flogged her. You are a disgusting human being.

      Couldn't you have corrected her with your mouth?

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    3. You flogged a 3 Yr old for opening your bag and eating your cake, thank God that child is not mine because I will flog you with cane till you vomit blood. What a stupid statement to write on social media.
      It's obvious you don't have kids and not planning on having any at all.
      Olosho, eyan rada rada, eni ikeji aja ๐Ÿถ.
      Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew ๐Ÿ˜

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    5. And why will you remove my comment? Don't I have a right to reply the insults thrown at me? You are mad. Both you, xo xo mystery, are idiots. And all your kids are thieves and future armed robbers. I will continue to insult you people

      Delete
    6. Anonymous 13:49, you are mad. Both you and your child, I will beat together. Mother of a future thief. Armed robber.oleeee.oloriburuku แปmแป ร lรจ.

      Delete
  6. This incident happened when I was very young maybe 2 years. My mom always had the habit of always greeting people on the street when going out especially one woman who has a shop close to the bus stop. She will go there to greet her. So one day my just me and my elder brother were at home. He was supposed to watch me but went to play. That how I started walking towards the bus stop. I got to the woman's shop and went to greet her, she just shouted where am I going to alone, she said I should sit, that my parents will meet me in her shop. They were looking for me at home till she sent someone to tell them I was with her and warned them to always watch over me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a retentive memory you have๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ˜’

      Delete
    2. What a retentive memory you have๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ˜’

      Dante

      Delete
    3. @Dante

      I was told later on when I was older.

      Odรฉ

      Delete
    4. Why didn't you add that part to your fabu. Olodo

      Dante

      Delete
    5. Hahaha @ Medussa, you cracked me up.

      Delete
  7. my sister in-law would tell her kids not to greet me,so when they come around they greet only my husband,n this kids r just 5 and 7,but I would greet her very well n face my front,just to let her know I wasn't raised poorly,even when I noticed it n told husband he said they r just kids n I complain a lot,so I just face my front,I stopped asking them if they said a word of greeting to me,some parent most especially mothers r not helping this generation children,may God help us all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear I can totally relate with the above!

      Just don't mind the SIL she will surely reap a bountiful harvest of that which she's sowing in her children's lives.
      Just watch as it unfolds.

      Delete
    2. Your husband is aiding and abetting bad behaviour. Just ignore them.....she is sowing what she will surely reap

      Delete
  8. It has nothing to do with the separation of love from home training. Home training is still a show of love, classified under Tough Love. You flog a erring child because you lov him and want him to do better. Just the same way ANG show Tough Love on the shooters and hmmm on this blog๐Ÿค—

    Dante

    ReplyDelete
  9. As a mum will give myself 90% passmark, but I got anger issue and seems my kids taking that. They scream at each other at any little argument.
    Honestly is marriage turning me to a shouting mum, no friend to talk with, no work. So imagine depression and husband not helping out, all he cares is his job.
    Can't recall the last time I laughed or feel love and is really affecting my kids, because I shout at them at anything. Is not easy but I pray God send me happiness am just losing it.
    Other training, I give my best but this...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sending you hugs and kisses,may the good Lord send you happiness

      Delete
    2. Anon I know its hard but ask yourself do you want those kids to grow up being you? Its not too late! You can join groups in church to mingle more. Any time u feel the urge to yell at them remember this is not what u wish...e hugs

      Delete
  10. I am trying to raise my kids with love and discipline, it's not easy, sometimes I feel like am too hard on them and apologize after telling them I don't like that particular behavior, it's well, God will help us. My parents were disciplinarians, Them dey beat for Africa!I feel am too hard on them,I just wish to be a bit soft on them. Deb,ade

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've never stopped emphasizing the importance of discipline for children. I like where u said '...your lapses will stare u in the face'. Scripture says, 'Spare the rod and spoil the child'. As I see it, 'rod' is not neccesarily 'cane', it is 'discipline'. Just pray God for wisdom to balance it with 'softer' love. Nice write up, Stella.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Only issue I have with this write up, is the prostration. The only tribe who does is Yoruba. So writer, you can put that in parentheses. So that we can know that you are referring to the tribe who does. Other tribes who don’t, have their ways of greeting. E.g. I am an Igbo man, married to a Yoruba wonderful woman. MIL came to visit, and my kids ran to me hugged me and greeted me. She (in my presence) scolded them and told them to dobale to greet me. I schooled in Lagos, met my wife in Lagos before we moved to America. So I speak Yoruba, Igbo badaly. I told MIL. That’s ok, (of course after my kids left) that she should remember that igbos don’t dobale to greet, but when they are greeting her or their mom(if she so want) they can dobale. Guess her answer? Won ni ma respect eh. Because of dobale.
    Anyway, Enof lecture. I LOVE THE WRITE UP. EXCEPT FOR JUST THAT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was my issue too. The prostration thing. Not everyone considers that as a sign of respect.

      Delete

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