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WHEN LOVE TURNS INTO STUPIDITY PART TWO

Good Afternoon Stella,

Let me applaud and appreciate you for the exceptional job you are doing with your blog content.


My wife drew my attention to TUESDAY CHRONICLE , after reading I couldn't stop laughing. Not that I didn't feel the pain of the writer, but this our dearest bvs have a way of slaughtering men. But are there men like that? Yes they are.

 The way they lambasted the man in question and insulted the writer especially is not fair. While it is easy to condemn both acts and more critically reprimand the man in that picture. I think the lady just lived one of the many definitions of love. Sometimes, true love indeed can be foolishly stupid and regrettably ignorant. If not Jack wouldn't have sacrificed his life for Rose. So also as it happened with Romeo and Juliet, or in the movie Acrimony. But even human still has not appreciated the love Christ sacrificed for us to be redeemed.


It is easy for all of us to sit in the comfort of our innocence and pass judgement. But I think if you have never experienced such similar or less foolish love. You have truly never fallen in love. It's painful, excruciatingly hurting and soul killing. I met Ify on your blog. Let me try summarize this. She was in 200L in one of the eastern colleges, from Anambra. 

She responded to my post in the S&M. We got connected emotionally and dating started. I am based in the UK. I visited and we met. I financially assisted with her education up to her master's in the UK. I had wanted us marry immediately after her Bsc but she implored me to allow her finish her master's first. Although I didn't see how getting married would have hampered her still doing that. But I agreed, it wasn't a problem for me. The idea was to marry eventually, the moment we connected and all other things goes to plan.


While she served in Lagos, she was staying in my main house, with one of my cousin who was in the BQ. She uses any of the cars in the garage as she seemed. I do come home regularly. And her gift bag is had always been a big box of clothes and shoes. Plus all the extras she requested for. In one of my holidaying in naija, at the beginning of her service year. I met her mother at my place, and got acquainted to her. Although we had agreed from the beginning to keep it private, without the unnecessary pressure from friends and family members. At least until we are sure that marriage is inevitable. 

After making my intention known to the mother, that how I added their family problems to one of my now many responsibilities to her - it just became inevitable not to. All this while I didn't know she was married, please bvs don't call me names o. I was blindly in love.

 Let me not take your time, in all she visited the UK 7times excluding her stay during her Master's programme. All expenses on me. By the time I realised my stupidity, I had spent over 4M on her alone. Her family expenditure not included. I had even helped relocated her elder sibling to the UK. Was I that daft not to have read in between the lines? Yes. Was I stupid? Yes. But senselessly in love. So this type of foolishness or stomach purging stupidity is not gender dependent. Just as it happened to the woman, I also fell into that ditch trap.



But I am married now to Amara Chim. Another lady, I met also on S&M. She's from Mbaise - what do they say about people from that end of the east? But she has been nothing but a blessing to me. Such a good soul. She just joined me last month in the UK, and we are having our first child soon. Ify has been reaching out to me in the last two months. I have deliberately ignored her. 

But just this Sunday, my wife sat me down and said "D, I know this woman had hurt you. But I think God brought you into her life for a good reason.

So why don't you live out that purpose and when it's done. God will naturally close that door. If you know what she's asking you to do for her, as long as it doesn't affect us. I implore you to hear her out and help, if you can. But I know you can."

 In trying to reach me, she got my wife online and they talked. I was touched and speechless. Her good character, humility and a good support system was why i married her after all. We have this same view about issues.

One thing I have come to understand is that, some people are outrightly terrible but if you are naturally a giver or an helper. Please don't let one stupidity define you. Or change your good heart. I can't count how many of my childhood friends I have helped relocated to the UK, since 2015. Yet some of them are ungrateful. Presently, I have a nice guy that I want to assist with relocating. The only clog in the wheel is what becomes of her young wife. Until she calls me and says they are good, I am not following through. 

I can't because I want to help and break up a family. Although, I am trying to convince her that it's best for them. Because the present Nigeria is an unbearable sad story. Made worse since 2015. Even those with good jobs are relocating, need we talk about those without a job? If we look more at those who had taken our good deeds for a ride, we'll abandon those whom God had lined up for us to be of assistance to. Life is a journey of lessons, when you find yourself in any of it class. Endeavour to appreciate the experience and learn from it. But don't let that change who you are.

Thank for reading through.



WOW....................I am just blown away by your story....Bottomline is that both men are women are love scammers.Thank God your story ended well for you.....I am glad to know that you are a singles mingles couple..Makes me proud.

Kisses to your wife.