Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Monday, October 21, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Oh My God.....
Oh My God!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SINGLES MINGLES SAD UPDATE


Dear Stella,


I love you so much as you have impacted my life greatly with your blog ... Please keep up the good work ma. It was with a heavy heart i read the ihn celebrating the newly weds from SnM and i must say you can find true and genuine love on it. I don't know if fate didn't play a fast on me, i would also have "testified" of meeting my soul mate on SnM.

I was the insecure type, i became an only child when i lost my sister to a fire accident, this sort of affected my mum that she was kind of detached from me that period, as a child i felt my late sibling was the favourite and i felt the need to prove myself to be more than enough for my parents and sadly to others.



I became a people pleaser, just so people would like me and be my friend. I suffer from BDD (Body dismorphic disorder), so i never dated and the person i ended up having a relationship was my childhood friendship(biggest mistake).


The relationship ran from 2008 till 2016 (I'm 28 years old), this guy made me lose my self esteem and made me feel he was doing me a favour by dating me. Always told me, no man can settle down with someone like me and the crazy thing was i believed it!. I know you always ask how people ended up with guys like that, till now i cant explain it. If he had been physically abusive, i guess i would have left a long time ago. But this guy had my parents and friends, believing everything he told them about me hook, line and sinker. My attempts then at ending things with him, were met with him rushing to call my parents and friends, telling them i was messing around and despite that he still loves me, he threatens them with killing himself if i left him(he slit his wrists once and drank shaving powder, so they knew he wasn't bluffing).


So many painful things that happened before, we broke up for good when he impregnated the daughter of one his father's tenants in 2016. I was broken but relieved i was finally free from years of bondage.


I never dated anyone after, and despite several guys trying to establish relationship with me i didn't give a chance as i was working on myself and self esteem. I decided to participate in SnM in 2018, i stated it clearly i just wanted friends and this Angel that chatted me turned my life around.


He was just everything (yes everything). Told him about my ex, I told him i just needed a friend that period and nothing more. He became my best friend, made me realise everything i saw as imperfections only made me human. Helped me overcome my stutter (i stammer only when I'm extremely agitated now), he helped me curb my emotional eating too.


He taught me so much, made me rededicate my life to Christ. He always sent prayers and daily devotionals, cunningly requested for my account number in the guise of helping him "save" his money(sends me money, despite the fact that i have a well paying job). He wasn't living in Nigeria, so i never met him once just video calls.


I never believed in distant relationships but this Angel proved me wrong and i knew he genuinely loved and cared so much about me.Sent him a birthday gift on the 26th of March and i penned how much i love and appreciate him and asking him if he would be my man.One of the best decisions of 2019.
His family were so kind and loving to me and his twin sister treated me like a baby sister. Our love kept on blossoming and i felt indeed God has compensated me by using this man to erase the relationship woes i had suffered.
August 29th, he told me he didn't know how he was feeling but he believed he will get better by 'sleeping it out'(his words precisely). I told him to promise me he would go to the hospital, he just said 'talking to you now, is enough to make me feel better'.

I tried checking on him throughout till midnight he wasn't picking my calls. I went to work the second day feeling so down, i just felt it was because of inadequate sleep. Still tried to reach him that day and this time it wasn't even connecting. It was on Saturday that his twin sister's hubby called to tell me my angel died in his sleep.


I used to hear stories of people saying they felt a piece of them died when their loved ones passed on. That Saturday, not only did a part of me die, i felt i was right all along when i used to abhor thoughts, that i don't deserve to be happy.
I always wanted to see him, hug and kiss him till our mouths hurts, the first time i saw my angel in person was at his burial(yes i travelled).


His family treated me like their own during my stay there. I took some of his clothes, a few pictures, his mum even gave me a pendant that had his initials. They paid for my flight back to Nigeria, the night i was to leave his twin sister gave me his laptop.


My Angel was someone who writes poems and sometimes wrote short stories in his spare time. Apparently he had been writing poems about me and had started writing a journal about us and i got to know he had plans of coming to see my parents in December.


I'm sharing this because I've been bottling so much grief inside me. Writing this, i guess is a coping mechanism to purge myself so i don't self destruct. I just wanted to use this medium to thank God and you for bringing this man into my life even its for a moment, his love and care for me is enough to last me a lifetime.


God bless All....


*I thought it would end that he scammed you emotionally..I would have preferred that..I am in shock and dont know what to say to comfort you,please forgive me....I will ask for your number and speak with you when i can...

148 comments:

  1. Wow so sorry about this, may God grant his soul eternal rest. Take heart and know that all things will work for your good eventually.

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    Replies
    1. Wowww this is really sad. So sorry about this. May God comfort you. May his soul rest in peace.

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    2. So sorry for you loss. My deepest, heart felt condolences.

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    3. Oh my dear, reading this just spoilt my mood. I am very sorry. Please take heart. May God continue to console you and his family. Pele

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    4. Dear Poster, accept my condolences, know that this too will pass. Grieve, and then move on, trusting God to grant you the fortitude needed to bear this loss.
      One thing that caught my eye is that you sometimes harbor thoughts that you don’t deserve to be happy. Please note that this world transcends the physical. People will tell you that the physical is determined by a lot of things including the kind of energy we permit to work in our lives.
      Please change your thoughts. Don’t interpret this as me blaming you for your loss, NO, I am not. I am just saying that it wouldn’t hurt surrounding yourself with positivity, radiating joy and peace and faith that tomorrow is a better day, permitting nothing but positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with people who see the positives in you and who encourage you always to be a better version of yourself (breaking up with your former guy was a good step).

      As a man thinketh, so he is. I wish you the best.

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    5. I have never read anything here and cry.Oh my God!i cried....chai!may God give you the strength to bear the lost and may he give you a wonderful replacement.

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    6. I asked in SP the morning that is there a way we can check on bv who hasn't commented in a long while? This is so sad! May his soul RIP.....Amen

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    7. This hurt* me personally like I knew you in person. Soooooooo sorry for your loss dear. This HURTS!!!! 😢😢😢😢 Ahnnnn...

      You will be fine. Please dear you are worth something. Speak positivity into your life. God will send you another Angel that is better ok?

      May he rest well IJN.

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    8. Oo my love. Am sorry about your loss!omg😭😭😭😭

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    9. Am So so Sorry Darling Big Hugs...

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    10. My deepest condolence over your hurt. May God heal you and comfort you and his family at this time.

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    11. This has me crying bitterly, I hope I can sleep well tonight. May God rest his kind soul, amen.

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    12. OMG!!!why why why! Why do good people go😭😭😭😭😭😭😭☹☹☹☹


      I hope my baby is safe where ever he is oo( we not on talking terms)

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    13. Poster I'm soo sorry abt ur loss this is really really painful.
      I thank God that u experienced love. Maybe this is Gods way of telling u there is love n very soon anoda angel will come ur way amen.

      Pls take care of u

      Delete
    14. Oh my God
      So sorry dear 😍😍😍😍😍

      Delete
  2. Oh my God 😱😱
    This is heart breaking. Oh my God.
    I am so sorry poster, may God heal you completely from this heart break and comfort you.
    And NO, you deserve everything good like every other human.
    I am so sorry you are going through a dark moment. Take heart sis ❤️❤️

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    1. 💔💔💔😥😥. Oh dear. Take heart dear. May his soul rest in peace.

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    2. Wow this ticked my chest!!...I'm soooooi sorry for your loss poster
      May his soul rest in the Lord!!🙏

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  3. My mouth is still opened. Just in shock. What killed him? This is so sad. So sorry dear poster. Grief all you can but pls give love another chance. It is well with you.

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    1. This is sad, very sad. I pray for you to be strong both physically and mentally to move on in life. God will smile on you again, just believe this angel was in your life to make you realize you are more than you thought of yourself. Sorry.

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    2. @ Yemi7up,
      You said all I had to say.

      Stay strong

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    3. Oh my... Am too heartbroken to type sef. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

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    4. So sorry for your loss, may God comfort you. This too shall pass. May his Soul RIP.

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  4. Oh God,so sorry may God comfort you and his family.Pele oooo.may he rest in peace.

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  5. Replies
    1. Me too... the shock ran so deep.

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    2. Me too. This is really sad☹

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    3. First time I cried reading anything in this blog! I’m like he died! And me and my stupid ex always wishing each other death! Life is too precious. I’m just weak

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  6. This chronicle pain me reach bone.... kai!!! I don't want to say i can imagine what you're feeling cuz i will never imagine your pains right now. It is unexplainable..

    Dear poster, why don't you be closer to your mum right now and open up to her about your grief. Make her your bestfriend, that way you can heal.
    It is well. E-hugs

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  7. I cried reading this. Haaaa it’s so painful

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    Replies
    1. This is the saddest Chronicle I've ever read. So sorry about the poster's loss, too sad.....

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    2. It's extremely painful and chest wracking when you found the right one but lose them untimely.

      BV, the guy's mission in your life has been accomplished; to make you happy and get you closer to God.

      Don't lose hope, and go closer to God because your Angel is at the bosom of the Lord.

      Cheer up and God will bless you more.

      Love always.

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  8. This made my eyes wet. Damn this is so sad. May his soul rest in peace. Be strong.

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  9. This really shattered my heart. Like Stella said it would have been better if he scammed you, we’ll get angry with you and recover from the anger. Death is too finite to deal with. Sorry for your loss.

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  10. When you thought you have been wiped off the tears now this happened. I cant deal😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪. May the Lord comfort you, heal you, compensate you with a man much better than him that would stay forever and a day with you.
    May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace, Amen.

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  11. OP, So sorry about the loss of the angel you never met.

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  12. Sorry for your loss, poster.

    Sometimes, life is just not fair at all.

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    Replies
    1. This is so painful. May God comfort you dear poster.

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  13. Oh Dear I am really sorry for what you went through..Dont ever believe what that jerk said to you, You are a wonderful person and it will be of great pleasure for any man to know you...You deserve better and even more...God will do surprise you dear..I am really sorry this happened to you...Am so broken that my colleagues have noticed a sudden change in my mood...Please see a therapist my love and also if you have cousins or friends that got your back, kindly talk..Please don't bottle up cause you cant take it anymore...The sun is shining on your horizon...E-hugs and kisses...

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    Replies
    1. I dont know her story reminds me of this Dido's song See the song again..Great lyrics..

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  14. What a sad story. May God comfort you and his family. Take heart. He would want to see you happy again quite sure of that.

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  15. Oh my God!! This is heart wrenching. Be comforted poster. Chai!!

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  16. So chilling. Poster I believe he came into your life to show you that unconditional love does truly exist and there are good men just as there are bad men. He came to show you that love so that you will never ever have to settle for less than you deserve. I hope truly you open your heart to love again. Do not let the grief overwhelm you. It gets better. Will be praying for you. S

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    Replies
    1. Yeah he made you believe in real love and that you can love yourself too..He is really an angel..

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  17. I'm so sorry this happened to you poster.

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  18. Take heart sis.

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  19. Dear Poster,May The Almighty comfort you.


    Wasn’t expecting that end

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  20. poster please take heart, try and find a way to move on. We cannot question God but in all things give thanks onto Him. All will be well with you.

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  21. OMG 😢 please take heart, I just dropped a tear reading this❤wow.please be strong

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    1. My eyes watered
      Sad but love filled tale




      Sister there is hope of love
      Trust GOD that if you could be loved once

      You can be loved again
      Truly truly


      See selfless love
      Peace my sistee

      Delete
  22. this is so painful, May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace, Amen.

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  23. I guess he's in a better place. He had probably achieved what he came to do here on earth, to touch lives, especially yours. God made you two meet for a reason. Now you know what true love feels like and that can serve as a guide for you when moving on. Cherish the good memories and never forget them. Moving on will be tough but you have to be stronger because from your write up about your past experiences, you have a good amount of strength in you.

    "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" - Alfred Lord Tennyson

    This quote was in my head all weekend I even voiced it out to my spouse. It is well with you.

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  24. No words...
    ❤️❤️❤️
    Love and lights.

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  25. sorry 4 your loss hun

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  26. So sorry, sis. Wow! This is so sad, i pray for you to find peace and for God send you another angel. You are in my prayers.

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  27. sorry 4 your loss hun

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  28. This brought me to tears...so sorry..

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  29. Dear Poster,
    I'm really sorry your happiness was cut short by death , death is something I'd never understand ,
    But I want to encourage you that the sun would shine again ,
    You would find happiness again and you deserve to be loved , do not listen to the whispers of the devil .
    I pray that the holy spirit would console you and lead you through this phase of life .
    I'd love to reach out to you I'd you need someone to talk to .
    I promise to give you my undivided attention and be a sister to you .

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  30. oh my God, so sorry poster. This is so heartbreaking. May God comfort you and also bless you with someone worthy and better when you are ready to try dating again, so sorry for your loss.

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  31. I am so so sorry Sister. Words can't even do justice now. I just want to hug you so tight and say i don't know how but somehow you will have a reason
    To b happy again. Amen.

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  32. The righteous perish,

    and no one takes it to heart;

    the devout are taken away,

    and no one understands

    that the righteous are taken away

    to be spared from evil.

    2Those who walk uprightly

    enter into peace;

    they find rest as they lie in death. Isaiah 57


    Dear, know that your beloved left you a gifts that no man
    can give but God;
    1. Eternal life; You re-dedicated your life to Christ
    2. capabilities: you overcame your "disabilities"
    3. A home; yes, his beautiful family that loved you and still
    love you dearly. In them you found new friends indeed that stick
    closer than sisters.
    4. Hope -yes, now you know that love exists in this checkered world.
    Ndo ooo, you will be aright inugo?
    🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹➕➕🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Veteran
      You kissed me? 😮😊😮😊
      You no shoot me arrows today? 😊😊
      😘💋

      Delete
    2. Even bitch no shoot me today?
      😊😊wow, there is love in the air😘😘😄😄😄😄😄😄

      Delete
    3. No tell any body o,I be your fan,forget all my gra gra!
      You spoke well today and I had no choice but to kiss you.😍😊😘🤩

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    4. @ 15:38, very comforting words and they are all true. Dear poster, hugs, love and light.

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    5. Well said AGN.

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    6. @15:38 Well articulated!

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    7. Truth, ANG.
      Poster. It is well with you.
      May God’s purposes for your life ripen fast. May the Holy Spirit minister comfort to your heart and mind.
      ❤️❤️

      Delete
    8. ANG, thank you so much. God bless you more.❤️💖
      I know you words will bring love and comfort to poster's grieving heart.

      Poster, your angel gave you the greatest gifts, rededication to Christ and selfless love.
      God will give you double for all you lost. ♥️💕🤗

      Delete
  33. OMG!
    I am so sorry about your loss dear.God will give you a better man to compensate you.
    You deserve better and you will end up with the best.
    Weep no more!

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  34. So sad.i want you to always remember all he taught you and don’t feel you can’t be loved.Grieve for him,but take heart.God strengthen you.

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  35. Oh lord..*teary*
    E-hugs Babe..E-hugs..
    So sorry for your loss..

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  36. So sorry dear. I pray love finds you again Soon. Rip to the dead. What a sad story. #criesoutofpost#

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    Replies
    1. Princess, you are so melodramatic.

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  37. May his gentle soul rest in peace... Take heart sis.

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  38. I am so sorry for your loss dear. Love came once,it will come again. May the good Lord comfort you

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  39. See me crying like a baby. E hugs darling, you will smile again.

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  40. This is so so sad.. trying to imagine finally getting what you've always wanted just to lose it. I am so so sorry for your loss poster. May God grant you comfort and strenght in these times. Sending you hugs.

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  41. This hurt
    This is painful ...I'm so sorry beautiful, so so sorry.
    #hugs#

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  42. One of those things that makes us as God why!

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  43. Good people don't last,why?

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  44. So sorry for your loss dear poster. For a moment i was captivated in the way you described him till i got to the part where he died!

    O my! this is soooo sad. May God make you feel a love that will be more than this to remove the pain! So sorry darling!

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  45. OMG...I’m so sorry for your loss poster. May God console and comfort you and his family.

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  46. I have been through this before, it has been 5 years since my angel passed on and it pains me to say I am yet to meet a man like him.
    A man who loved and understood me dearly, a man who was my everything, a man who I could hear his thought when our mind and souls connected.
    A man who refused to pass over until he had said his goodbye to me, a man who treated me like an egg he did not want to break, a man whose whole life revolved around me, a man who will begin to go gaga if I haven't called him in hours.

    I can never forget the day I discovered RHOA and was watching it back to back, my angel called me asking what could I be doing this one I have not called him in 6 hours, love indeed is a powerful thing.

    I have dated since then and been engaged twice but just cannot bring myself to marry some one I know I don't truly love. So I decided to live my life, do me, build my finances and if that man never comes will adopt children and just live.

    Poster, I am so sorry for your loss, grief takes years to overcome and I pray God gives you the strength and grace to overcome it. My only advices to you is this, use this time of grief to help other, helping other feel good will help you heal.
    Don't rush into a new relationship until you are healed for no man will ever be good enough if not ready.

    Excuse the typos.

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    Replies
    1. You are strong..It is well for you...

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    2. Wow.. this is some deep shit mehn. In fact I don't even know what else to say here, I need water abeg.

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    3. Wow. God is your strength. I have never had a very strong emotional.connection and I am in my early thirties. Would really love to experience this.

      Delete
  47. This is so sad. I am so heartbroken. I pray God comforts you. Stay strong sis❤

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  48. Be strong my darling, this too shall pass and you'll heal with time . Never give up on yourself.

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  49. Poster you made me cry reading this.
    I'm so sorry, take heart okay

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  50. i having been reading chronicles without commenting for sometime now,after reading your story i couldnt keep my hands to myself, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS,SO SORRY FOR YOUR HURT.SENDING YOU HUGS,MAY GOD HEAL YOUR HEART

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  51. Sorry for your loss, I actually shed a tear reading this. May God comfort you and make you find someone that will love you for you much more than your late angel did

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  52. first chronicle that brought so much tears... sending you loads of love.

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  53. May his soul and the soul's of all 🙏🙏the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace 🙏. Be strong poster.., God knows about you and everything is gonna be ok.

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  54. Angel pls hold on, God will send another Angel to you

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  55. OMG!take heart darling. You will be fine. God bless you

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  56. So so sorry,sometimes we wish we could turn back the hands of the clock.God will wipe away your tears and surprise you.

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  57. I'm so sorry for your loss, my sister. This chronicle touched me so much.😢😢 I wasn't expecting it to end this way. Please be strong, okay?

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  58. May the young man rest in peace and may God comfort you and his family! Time does make things better, please take heart and know that it is well with your soul. God knows and cares for you.

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  59. So sorry for your lost dearie... The lord bless his soul.

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  60. I sincerely empathise with you.
    He is indeed an angel.
    Just take one day at a time and thank God for the period you both shared.
    May the Lord comfort your broken heart and give you the fortitude to bear the lost.
    I am most glad, your mindset of who you are has changed.
    It's well with you

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  61. Madame koinkoin aka the 'peace maker'21 October 2019 at 17:09

    Sorry for everything poster, I am so speechless. God protect and always make you happy (Amen)

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  62. Oh my God this is really sad please take heart. gosh! Please accept my condolences

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  63. So sorry dear.

    God really does love you. He gave you an Angel,that angel still lives on.

    Plenty hugs and kisses

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  64. Sorry for the loss.... may God comfort you and his family.....this made me sad!

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  65. This is so heartbreaking.

    Please accept my deepest sympathy.

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  66. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't find the right words to tell you right now, only God will console you. This is really sad.

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  67. Oh dear, God used that young man to prove his love for you. May his sweet soul rest in peace, i pray that God comforts you. There is hope for you dear, e-hugs. ANG, nice of you today, i hope you can always pass your message with love.

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  68. Sorry for your loss...God will give you your heart desires...

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  69. I shed some tears reading this. I feel so touched by this raw show of emotion. I was waiting to find out he behaved like the demon but unfortunately this is worse! I pray you cherish all that he was to you. I prat you find healing and you find yourself. All the best. I'm a friend if you need one.

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  70. Awww... so sad. Stay strong. May his soul rest in peace.

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  71. This Chronicle left me speechless ...Wow!!! Be strong dear

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  72. This is really sad. Sorry poster for your loss. I pray God grants you strength to bear the loss.

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  73. Interesting piece with a sad ending. Accept my condolence. May God give you the fortitude to bear your loss. Don't fret your divine partner will locate you.

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  74. Stay strong. May his soul rest in peace and may God console and comfort you. He came into your life for a reason, practice everything he taught you. Let his family be your family. True love will locate you. You deserve happiness and everything good.

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  75. Dear poster, it is well with your soul. May God always be with you sis.stay strong for his blessed soul and only give out that love you experienced with him.

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  76. Be grateful that he did not die shortly after you wedded. Thank God for everything

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  77. May God heal and comfort your wounded soul dear poster, may his contenance shine on you and give you peace even in this time of great distress. Grief all you need to and move on. And always know this;
    You deserve love,
    you deserve happiness
    you are enough
    you are perfectly imperfect just like everyone else
    and ultimately you are loved beyond how you can imagine by the one who owns the whole world. E-hugs to you darling.

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  78. So sorry dear,may God console u

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  79. So sorry about your loss poster

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  80. Wow....this is so sad. I shed a tear for what could have been. God sent him to heal and make you return to him. I think he fulfilled his mission. Grieve dead but you're a better person already I just know it and never ever let any man make you feel less. Hugs and kisses

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  81. Dear poster, take heart and be comforted. I cried reading this because it made me remember my one true friend, Julius, whom I lost to the cold hands of death November 2018. I can tell you that it won't be easy forgetting but you will be fine. God brought him into your life to show you that you can be loved right and truly. Cherish the fond memories and heal. It's well with you and may his soul rest in peace. Hugs.

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  82. I'm so sorry for your loss dear

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  83. Poster I wont tell u I know how u feel. That's a lie. I can only imagine it! But I type this with tears in my eyes. I just want you to know dat his job was completed. Keep his stuffs to remember him but know dat all is going to be well ok💝💞💞💖.

    E-hug to u ok.😊

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  84. This is so painful. Sorry poster. God will fill your heart with His Joy and Peace

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  85. It is well with you dear. I am feeling bad right now ☹️.
    God will comfort you. Please don't give up. True love will locate you again🙏

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  86. So sorry for your loss.
    God comfort and heal your heart.

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  87. Sending loads of ❤❤❤❤and E-hug your way.God will provide a good man for you soonest.

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  88. I cried reading this...so sorry dear...God will bring you another angel ....may his soul rest in peace

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  89. So so sad😭. I pray my baby is fine wer he Is cos he is my everything now...poster I knw how you feel I lost my mum(my bestfriend) and also my job this year. It's still a miracle I'm still alive maybe because love found Me thou I'm still broken for my loss. God will heal you dear *hugs*

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  90. This chapter of your story is so painful, so sorry about your loss,you deserve to be happy your story is not finished yet, this is just a chapter in your story,God sees this,he has heard your cries,there will be beauty for this ashes,a happy ending is waiting for you.

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  91. chai so sorry dear. God will replenish your loss, the years the catapiller and cankerworms has eaten from you, he will give you a better man. Another Angel is coming.

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  92. Poster I'm so sorry, so so sorry. This just messed up my feelings. God I'm so sorry. Don't bottle up your emotions, take a break if you think you need to, see a therapist, cry it out. I believe God sent him to you to show you that you are worthy of love and respect. Be strong baby girl, be strong and courageous. I wish you the peace of God that passes human understanding.
    Sending you hugs and kisses.

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  93. Poster, Please take heart. I pray the lord comfort you at this trying time of your life. I want you to know that everyone you meet at any point in our life has a purpose to fulfill in our lives. God actually sent him to change an aspect in your life which he has fulfilled. That same God will also send you a comforter and a partner. Please dont loss hope. It is well with you

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  94. This is the most emotional thing I've read in my life.
    Never cried on this platform until now.
    How I wish I can hug you and tell you all is well.
    He is in a better place, and you'll find love again

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  95. I just have to comment. So sorry for your loss. God is your strength . You deserve all the happiness in the world. It is well with you

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