Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Oh My God.....

Oh My God!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

SINGLES MINGLES SAD UPDATE


Dear Stella,


I love you so much as you have impacted my life greatly with your blog ... Please keep up the good work ma. It was with a heavy heart i read the ihn celebrating the newly weds from SnM and i must say you can find true and genuine love on it. I don't know if fate didn't play a fast on me, i would also have "testified" of meeting my soul mate on SnM.

I was the insecure type, i became an only child when i lost my sister to a fire accident, this sort of affected my mum that she was kind of detached from me that period, as a child i felt my late sibling was the favourite and i felt the need to prove myself to be more than enough for my parents and sadly to others.



I became a people pleaser, just so people would like me and be my friend. I suffer from BDD (Body dismorphic disorder), so i never dated and the person i ended up having a relationship was my childhood friendship(biggest mistake).


The relationship ran from 2008 till 2016 (I'm 28 years old), this guy made me lose my self esteem and made me feel he was doing me a favour by dating me. Always told me, no man can settle down with someone like me and the crazy thing was i believed it!. I know you always ask how people ended up with guys like that, till now i cant explain it. If he had been physically abusive, i guess i would have left a long time ago. But this guy had my parents and friends, believing everything he told them about me hook, line and sinker. My attempts then at ending things with him, were met with him rushing to call my parents and friends, telling them i was messing around and despite that he still loves me, he threatens them with killing himself if i left him(he slit his wrists once and drank shaving powder, so they knew he wasn't bluffing).


So many painful things that happened before, we broke up for good when he impregnated the daughter of one his father's tenants in 2016. I was broken but relieved i was finally free from years of bondage.


I never dated anyone after, and despite several guys trying to establish relationship with me i didn't give a chance as i was working on myself and self esteem. I decided to participate in SnM in 2018, i stated it clearly i just wanted friends and this Angel that chatted me turned my life around.


He was just everything (yes everything). Told him about my ex, I told him i just needed a friend that period and nothing more. He became my best friend, made me realise everything i saw as imperfections only made me human. Helped me overcome my stutter (i stammer only when I'm extremely agitated now), he helped me curb my emotional eating too.


He taught me so much, made me rededicate my life to Christ. He always sent prayers and daily devotionals, cunningly requested for my account number in the guise of helping him "save" his money(sends me money, despite the fact that i have a well paying job). He wasn't living in Nigeria, so i never met him once just video calls.


I never believed in distant relationships but this Angel proved me wrong and i knew he genuinely loved and cared so much about me.Sent him a birthday gift on the 26th of March and i penned how much i love and appreciate him and asking him if he would be my man.One of the best decisions of 2019.
His family were so kind and loving to me and his twin sister treated me like a baby sister. Our love kept on blossoming and i felt indeed God has compensated me by using this man to erase the relationship woes i had suffered.
August 29th, he told me he didn't know how he was feeling but he believed he will get better by 'sleeping it out'(his words precisely). I told him to promise me he would go to the hospital, he just said 'talking to you now, is enough to make me feel better'.

I tried checking on him throughout till midnight he wasn't picking my calls. I went to work the second day feeling so down, i just felt it was because of inadequate sleep. Still tried to reach him that day and this time it wasn't even connecting. It was on Saturday that his twin sister's hubby called to tell me my angel died in his sleep.


I used to hear stories of people saying they felt a piece of them died when their loved ones passed on. That Saturday, not only did a part of me die, i felt i was right all along when i used to abhor thoughts, that i don't deserve to be happy.
I always wanted to see him, hug and kiss him till our mouths hurts, the first time i saw my angel in person was at his burial(yes i travelled).


His family treated me like their own during my stay there. I took some of his clothes, a few pictures, his mum even gave me a pendant that had his initials. They paid for my flight back to Nigeria, the night i was to leave his twin sister gave me his laptop.


My Angel was someone who writes poems and sometimes wrote short stories in his spare time. Apparently he had been writing poems about me and had started writing a journal about us and i got to know he had plans of coming to see my parents in December.


I'm sharing this because I've been bottling so much grief inside me. Writing this, i guess is a coping mechanism to purge myself so i don't self destruct. I just wanted to use this medium to thank God and you for bringing this man into my life even its for a moment, his love and care for me is enough to last me a lifetime.


God bless All....

*I thought it would end that he scammed you emotionally..I would have preferred that..I am in shock and dont know what to say to comfort you,please forgive me....I will ask for your number and speak with you when i can...