Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Mrs Dee's Corner -Joining The Abroad Husband

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Friday, October 04, 2019

Mrs Dee's Corner -Joining The Abroad Husband

They say it is bad for a man who travels abroad in search of greener pasture to take his wife to join him once he is settled.







That statement has always left me aghast and distraught till a particular incident hit close to home.


In this case, the guy travelled abroad and left his pregnant wife behind. Four years later he was comfortable enough to sponsor her trip to his base but his family members advised him to set her up in a viable business and do the visiting himself. He blatantly refused and proceeded to do as he wished.


The wife travelled with their son and had two more children. She soon got her working permit and that was where trouble started.


She refused to help out financially in the home despite her earnings, all the financial responsibility rested on the young man. He was the one bathing and taking the kids to school despite keeping 3 jobs that left very little time for sleep and rest.


One day they had a major altercation and she slapped her husband, when he wanted to retaliate, she threatened to call the police and have him arrested.

He immediately called for a family meeting back home and everyone blamed him for bringing her over.
He now lives in regret over his decision and resents his wife.


This story has altered my stand on wives being with their husbands wherever he is.

I wonder how many men still trust letting their wives join them in the abroad......   
I wonder if the women would agree to stay back if these husbands establish good businesses for the....

I wonder!!!

71 comments:

  1. The said woman is just a bad woman. What nonsense!

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    Replies
    1. Madam/sir poster, this post is all about "someone said" and one side story. What about what the man did to her that made her change....hmmmmmm....

      Delete
    2. Mrs Dee, this your column has totally altered my impression of you on this blog. I have come to perceive you as uneducated, uninformed, myopic in reasoning and understanding. More so, you have at several times come across as envious, self righteous and hypocritical.

      It may be better for you to research the topics you want to write about instead of just espousing your myopic life views. Educate yourself about people and it may widen your horizon and make you a better person

      ***no hate. Just a simple life tip**

      Delete
  2. This story “altered your stand” are you okay? Are husband and wife supposed to be living separately in the first place?

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    Replies
    1. Good question... A single act from a bad woman shouldn't judge others.

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    2. The altered stand altered my perception of the writer.

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    3. Follow me ask her. Mshewww

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    4. I don't understand Mrs Dee too. So a single bad example altered your stance? You try well ehn.

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    5. This is not single o. Stories like this are increasing. Some men even end up in prison. It is scary.

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    6. As in...😏
      An isolated incident changed your stance ke?
      The woman started misbehaving abi?
      It's usually the other way round sef, like you don't know or you've never heard of how egotistical some of our naija men can be, especially when they are the ones that ferried you to the abroad.
      It's either the husband didn't say his own faults or this particular woman was just a bad woman, period.

      Delete
    7. Abeg follow me ask that question?

      Delete
  3. if i am married and my husband travels to abroad i will prefer he make way take me with the kids than keeping me here to stay. Body no be wood and woman cannot be too sure that her husband will not marry abroad woman while he live her here to suffer.

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  5. It should not alter jare. An ideal marriage should even both spouse being together. There are still men who will tell that relocating their spouse was the best thing to happen. An example is an uncle who travelled to ireland for greener pastures. When he was settled 2 yrs later he relocated his wife and 4 daughters to join him. They have been there for years now all 6 of them.

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  6. Husband and wife should always be together.

    If a man goes abroad, his wife should be there with him . Simple.

    This story doesn't hold water as far as I'm concerned.

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  7. Inukwa " Aborad" indeed.

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  8. I think if you marry a crazy woman, you marry a crazy woman. My brother in law just brought his wife over and she is still as humble as over + she left a well paying job to join him

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  9. The woman is just a bad person. Establish wetin? M husband cannot establish me in one place and be in another. If anything the wife should be abroad let him be hustling in Nigeria

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  10. A bad woman is a bad woman. She was just waiting to travel to show it.


    OA

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  11. Hian..Stella I really like you but I don't understand what you are saying now. Marriage is a union between two people building their home together. If one marries a selfish and wicked spouse that's an entirely a different matter but which one is don't bring your wife to join you abroad because of one man's story? Is marriage not for companionship and togetherness? What kind of marriage is it when two people are permanently apart just visiting and bearing kids? Haba Stella

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    Replies
    1. Where did you see Stella as the writer?

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    2. calm down, it's a column. Mrs dee is the writer not Stella.

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    3. Don't mind Stella. Some times she gives wrong advice. Why on Earth would husband and wife stay far apart.

      Delete
  12. It depends on the person. A bad person is a bad person. A friend relocated his wife abroad after staying for seven years in America. They are good. Their marriage is okay. The problem is that some women can't look away when the man cheats over there, so there is bound to be problems. The system gives women a lot of power and some simply misuse it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you hear yourself? Can the man look away if his wife cheats?

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  13. Your husband should have left you in lagos. Why are you in Germany? Mrs Defender of the men

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    Replies
    1. Stella is not the writer, its written by Mrs Dee, Stella only posted.

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    2. Honestly i thought stella had that comment. People just talk anyhow. Do you know what happened before the woman did wha she did? Silly people jumping into conclusion.

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  14. The woman married into a very bad family..... Period.... I can see through the story..... How in the world would anyone advise someone’s husband not to take her to where he is based? Be it abroad or wherever. It is the unrealistic expectations placed on the woman because the man felt he has done her a favour that made her behave like that. I can tell you for a fact that most guys that bring their wives over expect a level of servitude from their wives and I think that is bullshit.

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    Replies
    1. God bless you for this comment

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    2. Anon 13:41 you said well

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    3. Exactly. Morning shows the day. The kind of family that can even suggest that the husband not take the wife with him speaks volumes about the character of the man himself. He must have thought that he is doing her a favour. Unfortunately for him, the system in that country does not allow for the oppression of women.

      Delete
    4. This is probably what happened. She got to the abroad and the husband forget say na partnership and not servitude be the koko.
      'Abroad' doesn't change anyone, it only opens your eyes to the way things should be...as in to be treated humanely. So a husband that is used to or expect the wife to do everything will be in for a rude awakening.

      Delete
  15. Not all women,but some of the women are so wicked come to the us and see how some nigeria wife threat their husband.i know some men are mean.

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  16. That wife is just a bad woman. Even if he didn't take her she will still be doing alot of evil here in naija.
    I'm not one for long distance marriage. I have to be near my husband. Except it's a temporary thing like school,a course, work etc. Even the work we will only be apart tops 2yrs. We will find a way for us to go join him eventually.

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  17. What is it with generalizing & assuming that the bad behavior of one woman or a few women who this happened to is a yardstick to measure the fact that other women are the same?
    So what should happen to the innocent & well-behaved women who finds themselves in this situation? They should be made to suffer the consequences of actions they aren't guilty of? C'mon! 🀷

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  18. Please if you have a very good and secured job here please don't leave. That is how a lady that is a HOP in the bank, left the job and ended up making hair in the USA.

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  19. Mrs Dee you no get point, who ll misbehave will misbehave regardless of where they are. I'm presently in a distance marriage and this shit is hard af. Frustrating to say the least ,sometimes I wish I'm still kuku single , but no I don't want to move where my husband is cos its middle east and I didnt like it there when I went, we are moving elsewhere. Gods plan is for couples to be TOGETHER that's the reminder I always give God to make things be as they ought to.

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  20. I think it is wrong for husbands and wives to be separated from each other. Do not give space for the devil, abeg. There's still temptation when they are together talk less of when they are apart.

    I bet the storyteller is from the man's side of the family. The family in the story should mind their business. Who are they to tell a man to leave his wife and child in Nigeria? They are seeking their own financial gain, nothing more.

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    Replies
    1. stop supporting women

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    2. @ 15:39
      Stop marrying women abeg, marry your fellow men.
      Shior.

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  21. If its there own daughter. Its ok. If its another persons daughter called daughter-in-law. Everything she does is evil.. God dey.

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  22. Did you get the full details from the woman? Look I have seen what a lot of men do to their wives abroad. How will your wife join you and you spend the time threatening her throughout? Do you know what these women go through? It is tough for a lot of women. If I start to talk!

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  23. He just married a lazy woman. She was lazy from Nigeria and she was Lady when she went abroad. Not even take care of the children and hubby is working three jobs. That is not a woman with a wife consciousness. That is a Jezebel not a wife.

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    Replies
    1. And you think she's not working?

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    2. Sometimes ppl who are not used to having protection under the law abuse it when they get it. So, some women come over here and become a beast because they know they finally have human rights. This is not the correct approach. This is why I said he married a flawed woman from the get go, it is not her nationality that is the issue, it's her spirit. Courting exists so you can truly vet the person, but if you live abroad and have responsibilities there then you will not be able to do proper vetting if your intended lives on the other side of the planet. He should have married someone from his location. A miserable marriage is not good, worse when there are innocent children involved. I would not wish this on anyone. Men are assholes for the most part, but that does not mean every woman is an angel.

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  24. I didn't make the mistake.
    I only visit but no way.she won't join me here.though I bribe her with latest Toyota last month.
    women are terrible.

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    Replies
    1. Y marry then? U are also terrible for marrying a terrible person

      Delete
    2. Shame on you. Your mother and sisters are terrible too right?

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    3. You're making a terrible mistake. What happmes to your children? Are they with their mother or with you? Don't you want to provide a better future for th em outside this country?

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    4. Your loss o Bros. You won't realise it now until your old age.

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    5. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      I laugh in old age, cos that's when you'd know what you did to yourself, wise man.
      A woman stays oceans away from you, she no dey bother you to relocate her, you're bribing her with cars, she's collecting, saying nothing and you think she doesn't know what she's doing?
      I laugh again🀣🀣🀣

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    6. I hope you know as you left her with Venza, somebody here is helping is helping her 'oil' the Toyota to keep the engine running? Nigerians and our hipocrisy.

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    7. @anon 15:39, I and 99.9% of our fellow men are with you on this. If you like put gun for my head, NEVER YOU CARRY NAIJA WOMAN(JEZEBEL) waka, otherwise sorry will be your future name!

      Delete
    8. SMH.
      I know of one, same thing you did or doing. Women are terrible, right? But I bet you're with one there whose jump you respond to with how high ma, right? Being that you're in a clime that protects women, and you can't be barking orders up and down.
      Uncle's wife woke up one day, no fight no quarrel and said she was done. You know oyibo/foreign based love na, once they are tired, they move, and this was after years of being together. Kids were grown and had even left home, he couldn't force or take them nowhere.
      His family in Nigeria here, wife waited endlessly on promises of relocating, decided to move on with her life, the two kids here too, all grown, don't even know what he looked like, talk more care about him.
      Uncle retired, came back home and married again here, a young woman, they've got three children now all below primary 5. He's almost 70. If you know what his new wife is doing to him now ehn, hmm, but what can he do?
      Frustration don finish the man, always talking to himself and acting off. Family gone, investments gone (you know oyibo sharing formula na).
      Tread carefully oga, so you don't lose both ways.

      Delete
  25. my fiance brought me to the US after marrying me, infact i regret marrying and coming to the US. if theres any little misunderstanding, the first thing he says is he did me a great favour bringing me to the Us. as if my life was a mess when i was in Naija. that statement makes me angry. i had a good job before coming to the US. some ladies are bad while some men are also bad. thats it. i have told him that the next time he says that statement to me, i will take my son and leave. men in America feel entitled just because they brought their wives over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just imagine!!! He brought you over to land flowing with milk and honey Na, so you should bow down and worship him. Oriegwu really.

      Delete
    2. A bad woman is a bad woman, geography has nothing to do with it.
      Inukwa he made a mistake, mtscheeeew.
      As if we don't hear enough from the good women over there. Some Naija men and their mentality. Even when you lie flat on the floor for them to walk on, they'd still complain you're not flat enough.
      Pele sis.

      Delete
  26. My sisters married and joined their husbands. They are still waxing strong.
    Btw, one babe told me that if any man marries and carries the woman to the abroad that the woman should be eternally grateful to the man. And I was like really? The kain mindset some people have eh.

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  27. Some of you lose respect for you suppose once you get there. That's the major problem. Still give the man his respect and watch him love you.

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  28. All of you chanting isolated incident are potential husband slappers abroad.
    With the kind of desperation I see and read on this blog?
    Many of you have a lot of ulterior motives going into marriages.

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  29. If you no swear by Amadioha, I no carry you go anywhere. Who love hep?

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  30. It is individualistic. Anyone wey wan marry carry go, make e do. Is a no no for me. Marry all these runs girls wey full Nigeria? I dey craze?

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  31. What of some of us that married and brought out husbands abroad haha! Is it only men that bring their spouses abroad? Women let's elevate our thinking. A man doesn't have to bring you abroad. Do your thing, and watch God lift u up. Your eyes should be on God , not on man to lift you up. Sdk's love child

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  32. Men who go back home to marry and bring their wives over, in my opinion are fools.
    What happens to the single nigerian /african ladies abroad?
    The problem is that men who go back home to marry, always think that they could turn their wives into cash cows...that's the only reason they do that.Unfortunately the table always turn on them when the woman wakes up.
    You can't have it both ways - either you marry the single nigerians out there in truth and understanding, or you come home and marry the one you've lied to all along.
    As for me, I will never go home to marry - either I meet her abroad or I marry who's already here...who understands the system and knows what the deal is.
    For men who already have wives/kids at home before relocating,I'd suggest you bring your wife over and put heads togegher to raise your family.
    But to go home and marry a single girl and bring her over,it will not happen.
    I know we will never win as men in this game but for our sanity,it makes sense that you know exactly what you are going into and prepare your mind for it.
    For those men who marry and leave their wives at home in comfort, though not the best,I however understand the strategic reasons for their actions.
    Once the woman breaks up with the man abroad, his kids are gone forever and most men dread that,hence why they prefer the women to stay in nigeria even if she cheats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They don't want to marry single ladies based in the US, the ladies here don't have that cultural thing in them , they are different , Nigerian men here love home made , My hubby brought me to the US , so far it's all good , he vowed never to marry a single girl here cos they are not humble or virtuous.

      Delete
  33. My hubby spent money to bring me here in the US, so far so good ,it's been nice and peaceful,he is matured which makes it easy for me , not so much trouble , I am like a gift to him, he knows my worth so he doesn't joke with me .

    ReplyDelete

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