Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists -Toxic Family

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Saturday, October 05, 2019

Saturday In House Gists -Toxic Family

Some say the enemies of a man are members of his household 







The way some family wait for bad news of one of their own would shock you.....
Is it the Jealousy, knocking of heads, manipulation, backbiting, setting up, malice, unforgiveness, hatred?

Smetimes this Toxicity spills from one generation to another..............


Did you growing up in a toxic home and currently passed it unto your Children?
Do you have toxic siblings who pray for nothng but harm to befall you?

Or are you the one that is Toxic?
Lets gist!!!

60 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I have the best siblings and I can't trade them for anything. I love my siblings more than how I love my mom and likewise all of them, my brothers collect more allowance from me than my mom





      *Larry was here*

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    2. how do one deal with a sis-inlaw that gossip and bad mouth you.
      have called her on two occasions to warn her still no changes.

      God. the one she did recently am so hurt.
      don't want to confront her.

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    3. Forget them..I have them 6.older women o..always looking for loopholes in my life..I just dey pepper dem as I dey go.went back to school,I dress well,make up,smile always. I no notice them.Be your best version and rub it in her face

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  2. Please keep me anon. A prophet told me my dad is my problem, since i was born i see so many setback, my mum said right from the womb, i was born at 12 months, and since then it trouble till this present day I'm typing this

    I have fasted, prayed and I'm tired, can't even pray or ask for anything again, cos i will only be seeing them happening to others not me. I'm the closet to my dad and he over loved me, but i was and still this humble girl, maybe that why he loved me. Tho my dad is stingy, i mean that type that rather tear his money than give any of his kids, but you just have to like him, cos he a very free, sweet talk person

    Everytime a man mention marriage with me, just give the relationship1month to back off, and in 6 months, the next woman the man meets is marriage straight, so the relationship recovering is a no go area, i just lost my 4th relationship, immediately he started marriage talk, even when i took sex out of the relationship, incase it what allow the devil to get me yet nothing

    Is it job searching, now i wake up and just live life like that, i don't pray cos it does no good use.. I AM TIRED struggling for everything since i was a baby. If i don't cry, wail, cry, wail, sad nothing good comes my way

    please if you're reading this all i need is a second prayer please, cos God is silent

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    1. I pray God makes a way for you and causes all things..especially these things to work together for your good. May Psalm 126 become your reality soon.

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    2. The prophet that boldly saw your dad as the root of your problem could not also boldly see a solution? Na qwesion o.

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    3. You need to seek God yourself, build a relationship with Him, get to know Him. I would also recommend MFM to you. All the best.

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    4. Hello Poster, please hold onto God. It may seem as though He is silent but He is not and He is very mindful of you (more than you can think or imagine).

      I experienced almost same but it had nothing to do with my dad. I visited pastors upon pastors but when God decided to turn my captivity, it was indeed like a dream.

      In one year, I got a Federal government appointment, a marriage proposal and I got married. Exactly nine months after, he gave me a son even though there were some complications during childbirth but which of His mercies and favour can I deny????

      I am not where I am going yet, but God is willing to go the journey with me.

      Please stay in His will, stay on His side. He will soon act. Your testimony would shake your world in Jesus name.
      Cheers.

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    5. hang in there,keep praying and thanking God,those that are left are not for you. You never can tell what God saved you from by not ending up with those guys,be of the best behaviour,serve in God's sanctuary,Trust God's plan. God can change your story in a minute

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    6. Poster ...fast and pray with Col 1:13-14 and also Col 2:13-15...midnight prayers ...you will see great changes..and stop going to prophet..read your bible

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    7. Dear poster, read about the laws of attraction. Read or watch the docu-series, 'the secret' by Rhonda Byrne...at first it might seem like a pack of bull**** that motivational speakers usually dish out. However, if you can keep an open mind, follow through with some of those principles, your life will change. Leave prophets alone for now, go this journey towards positive self transformation. Cheers.

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    8. Sweetie don't loose hope, don't give up on God my dear just start studying your Bible every day, make sure you have a particular time you just study the word. Do this every day and watch your promotion blossom into a beautiful story. Hold still cause God's not done with you my dear.

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    9. Sweetie don't loose hope, don't give up on God my dear just start studying your Bible every day, make sure you have a particular time you just study and meditate on the word. Do this every day and watch your life blossom into a beautiful story. Hold still cause God's not done with you my dear.

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    10. Don't believe the pastor. They can't see anything. Trust God only. He will see you through. Keep praying and keep hoping.

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    11. Ah, I saw this blog post yesterday and kept ignoring it. I hope to God that you see this comment on time.

      Please, do NOT touch anything by Rhonda Bryne. LoA (law of attraction), The Secret, etc. I repeat, do NOT touch them. The self-transformation, self-discovery bullsh*t Rhonda and proponents of The Secret and LoA promise is a verrrrry seductive path to enter the occult.

      Do NOT give up on the God that created even the things you can't see. There is no situation too great for God to deliver you from. But peradventure like the Hebrew boys (Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego), just in case God doesn't deliver you how and when you want, tell yourself that "whatever God cannot do for me, let it remain undone." What you're doing might work, but the price will be too heavy for you to pay. The devil has no free gift, he always collects more than you think he'll give you. And you will end up paying even the one you didn't agree with him.

      The only reason my husband and I are alive is the mercy of God. By the time we veered into this New Age crap (which is what LoA is), there was another covenant in place over us that had already been activated when we were both 13. So there were things that just couldn't penetrate, even when we tried. A superior covenant so strong, that even our mothers couldn't break it. Some of you think I'm preaching cos I'm trying to form holy. If you experience what my hubby and I have experienced, you will also be begging people not to enter some things.

      Anon 14:19, I'm not making light of your problems. Even genuine prophets see and hear in part. What you were told can mean a lot of things. You need to be sure exactly what you're dealing with, so you stop praying amiss. Go on a seven-day fast that you will break each day, oh! Every night of the fast, wake up at midnight and pray. What you're asking for is mercy and for God to show you the secret of your life. Nothing else, not husband, not job. Take note of your dreams and of things you're told in the daytime cos God is a revealer of secrets. You need the mercy of God cos due to things you don't know about yet, the devil has a legal right to attack you. And he's taking full advantage of it. Also, stop the pre-marital sex. Hold God tight.


      OA

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  3. No, I didn't grow up in a toxic family or home. This is one aspect of life I will forever remain grateful to God for my parents. I have seen broken homes and toxic ones too and I feel so pity for them and will never wish it even to my enemies.

    I grew up in a Christian home(Catholic) still a Catholic and will forever be. My family is the definition of what unity is all about. Dad when he was alive, he always advice us to be united and no matter how far we go in life, we should never forget where we come from.

    I remembered now the illustration of the broken broom stick he showed to us. In that narration, he said a single broom stick gets to break easily than a bunch of broomstick, thereby depicting togetherness.

    We grew up watching each other backs. Mom to crown it up will always say to us even till date, "izu kรก nmรก nรฅ nnรช ji" My family was/is one big united one.

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    1. In unity we stand but divided we fall.Family unity is everything.

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  4. I won't call them toxic per se, they're just selfish, I have siblings who cares about nobody but themselves, they only call you when they need your help and that period, your sins are gone and forgotten but once you need their help, they will tell you how useless you've been to your generation, how you're a hegoat that smells everywhere you go, they will hurt you with stabbing words and will still not help you... I stopped going to them for anything, I have learned to love my life and love me for me, I will train my kids to love themselves and help each other out always

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  5. Hmmmm...this life sha...God is our strength!..It's well!๐Ÿ˜‡

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  6. I know my dad n his elder ones don't talk, after the death of their mother his brothers took all the family properties n sent him to serve a military man in Zaria at age 10yrs, d man sent him to school, d only sibling that opposed their idea was mysteriously shot.

    Today they now want reconciliation, but pops put his leg down n refused coz he doesn't trust them, he doesn't trust his own siblings, even their kids are banned from visiting, we only greet if we bump into each other on d road, we don't render assistance again coz last time I bought a laptop for one, she said I should've gotten her an iPad air.

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    1. Just like Joesph...God blessed him through the military. Let him just forgive them... They thought to do him bad but God blessed him instead

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    2. Forgiveness is for you not them. It sets you free. So your dad should forgive though it is not easy. Look at Joseph in the Bible. He forgave his brothers who plotted to kill him and sold him into slavery for no just cause because he realized God used them to fulfil His plans for Joseph's life. A part of the Lord's prayer says 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Unforgiveness hinders your success, joy and prayers.

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  7. We grew up with lots of love for each other,my brothers only love u when u giving them money!i thought they love ME until I got to Nigeria got broke that is when I saw every one true colour....

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  8. Dsyfunctional family but what really confuses me is how My siblings and mum gossip alot this person gossips goes to the next person to gossip what they gossiped its a vicious cycle of bad mouthing and unconstructive "talk talk" very negative and toxic. I basically keep to myself.
    I think it's a woman thing cus I've met a couple of ladies that thrive off gossiping and badmouthing once i notice you say something negative about someone to me I cut you off to a certain level.

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    1. Great attribute you've got. It saves alot of drama in life

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    2. I have also got this attribute. I don't have the time or heart for toxic friendsips. Though my hubby is the exact opposite, a big softie, all bark and no bite; it pains me to see people take advantage of him time and time again because he forgives easily.

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  9. Just one right now,but she succeeded in poisoning the first and only son.that one is the most selfish person,his son is worse than him ,family history can not be told in a day jare

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  10. We were all given equal opportunities while growing up but my brother and some of my sisters were too lazy to take advantage of the opportunities. My brother is a university drop out even after my dad tried all he could to ensure he graduated. Now they all want my dad to keep providing for them and their families. Unfortunately dad had a stroke and I took over the running of his business, along side my work. They are all bitter but I dont care. My concern is only to my mum and sick dad.

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  11. My family is united.
    My inlaws are toxic but act United outside. Jealousy plus back biting. The eldest brother and their dad are holding the younger ones captive.

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  12. Hmmmmmm this life sha,one needs to be very careful nd wise most especially among ones siblings no matter wat...
    I was planning my wedding last year,while on the run I had a little misunderstanding with a man in my estate nd it was even the man that was genuinely at fault cos we do not even know each other bfor the whole matter during the estate meeting.
    You need to see d way my immediate elder brother (Same mum diff dad) carried this matter for head oo,I was overshocked like he has been looking for ways to fight me,even wen the man came to the house to apologize to me he still didn't chill on this matter, bcos of that he gave back the aso ebi that was given to him to my mum dat he would never attend d party nd was swearing big big swear,I was just looking at him nd kept to myself nd yes the D day came nd he wasn't present,same way he ran away during d introduction day nd came back in d night,still I didn't say anything.
    The few months after d wedding I lost my baby,other sibling called nd sympathised with me even his fiancee still he didn't call me nd I even asked my mum if he didn't hear nd she said he heard,dat was wen I decided finally in my mind dat I was never going to speak with him again in my life even if he's dying.
    Now I'm on leave nd i came to greet my mum nd his pregnant fiancee just put to bed last week Friday nd everyone is telling me to congratulate him (me I just carried face like he doesn't exist) nd my mum started crying that I shld forgive him,hmmm funny enough he isn't even working oo,but him shakara na waya!!! just impregnated the lady without proper plan.
    Now it's time to pay for hospital bill nd he was running up nd down,I just thought about the new born baby boy who has done nothing wrong coming to the world,I now collected his acc number nd forwarded 20k as wat I can afford.
    Y'all need to see d way he was thanking me,my husband just told me to still be careful around him,nd since then I have been respecting myself but I sincerely love his new baby nd God knows.

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    1. U have a good heart and u will carry your own child by the grace of God.but be wise.

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    2. Stay away from your so-called brother. And sorry to say but your mother is part of the problem. The way she cried to manipulate you, did she do that to him when you lost your baby? Or na on top your body, problem good abi? Better face your marriage and cut all ties with your brother and with everyone asking you to reconcile with him. Before they kill your enemy's husband, not your own.

      Family is NOT and has NOTHING to do with blood.


      OA

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    3. Family is who wishes you well and has your back for good


      Being surrounded by people in ignorant, self destructive, manipulative user mode is terrible

      They are constantly at war with themselves and full of bile covered by a light veneer of human skin

      Poisonous people
      It is so stressful being on guard always, alert , ignoring bullshit
      Don't get me started on the disrespect and derision by empty lost and brittle , bitter people

      And a mother who is nice and wonderful to the world but thrives in the disunity of her children under divide and rule


      Bitter people everywhere tufiakwa

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  13. My maternal side is story for another day, these days I don't even pick their calls .the hate and wish for your downfall is real and they can't even hide it. All man too his tenth cos they want to give me HBP but I'm too strong for them

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  14. My brother inlaw and his wife are self centered and jealous. They were always calling when we were bouyant but they disappeared the moment the moment things went down. It's a bitter lesson learnt. They claim to be born again o

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    1. Same thing happened to my dad when we were younger. We learnt from that experience and we keep to ourselves now

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  15. I was born and raised in one of those toxic families. I am really fighting to better my life and not carry the toxicity to my marriage, my kids, and the society by God’s grace.
    I was raised in an environment where a mother will do her best for her kids to never pass her despite being filthy rich. She might want to see you do good but just as far as you are below her, it’s ok. She wants to see her boys do better than her girls because for her girls are useless ( despite the fact that when she is sick she only see those girls). She makes sure that she scattered her kids relationship so none of us are in good term with each other. If you see two of us together, let le reassure that there is some hypocrisy below it. At the end, the kids don’t talk to her ( 5 kids) for different reasons and she is blaming the ennemies and her family members for that. Lol.
    Now to the kids, jealousy is so much. Some have been given everything by the parents but when the parents do a small thing for others, they still want that thing. The kids have been so spoiled that most of them don’t understand how life works. They always think “they are better than “ when in fact it’s the power of our parents’ money that’s blurrying their eyes.
    Anyway for the me what broke the camel’s back was 2 things. First was when I decided to get married, and in the name of family issues, my sisters said they were not going to attend meanwhile I’ve always supported them in everything in life. Second thing was when I was expecting my baby and my own sisters barely called me 6 times in 9 months to check on me and they didn’t even send $1 to buy something for my baby who is gonna be 6months soon. Those are people I go home with packages for when they give birth and even at Christmas and their kids birthdays, I spoiled them. Thank God for my in-laws, they showed me so much love that I understood what a real family should be like.
    Since then, I’ve turned my life around cut that family off, pray from them and learning to love those who genuinely love me. Trying to give my son the family I didn’t have.
    I will ask everyone to pray for me in this journey as a wife and mother. The damage of being from a toxic family still affects my way of behaving sometimes but I refuse for it to define me by God’s grace.
    It’s sad that in Africa we want to force that family on you. Those people can lead you to suicide but you are not allowed to complain. People will come with “ it’s your parents oo” , “you are a disrespectful child for not accepting your mother like she is”, “ you should respect and accept adults no matter what” , “this is your family what do you wanna do”... Those backwards way of thinking are one of the reasons why the whole continent is still underdeveloped. Trying to force respect just because someone has been releasing CO2 for decades before you participating in the global warming even though that person has no inch of respect on them . Smh..

    To everyone out there who have a toxic family, let this sink in your head “ blood only makes you related, love and support makes you family”.

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  16. My husband's family are so toxic.I came to with open mind but don't what i did to them,they never liked me.Any misunderstanding with my husband his sisters will remind how they warned him not to allow me to join him abroad,reasons that where i come from that the women are too wise and if am not ready to marry their brother i should go,so that their brother will marry another woman.

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    1. NAWA, what a family.u really need the strength of Samson and the wisdom of Solomon to handle such family.

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    2. How do they know u had a misunderstanding,ur hubby right ?
      He should keep his home

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    3. Anyo18:15 please give the man peace biko. I don't know where you are from but they just might be saying the truth. Show them you are different. Allow peace rein in your home, surprise your husband and be happy.

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  17. I grew up in a polygamus family it's crazy

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  18. My dads extended family... the drama eh!! Both my parents are from polygamous homes. Dad - 8 wives, his mum was the 7th; mum - 2 wives, her mum was the first.
    My mums side they're so loving and peaceful and godly. Upholding and supporting each other. Them they respect my mama die!! They warn their children to respect my mums children at all cost. Shes the first. So we play our part as cousins and do well to support them everyway we can, cos they're younger.

    But my fathers side... they loved him more when he had money and mocked him when they thought we were done for. Some are his siblings from the same mum oh! What did my dad not do for these people? The ones from other mums are even worse. Successful people in various fields, but when they gather it must end in quarrel. Have you seen where someone sends hires assassins against their siblings? I have! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Someone died 3 weeks ago and they buried him last week. Hmmm! The text my dad has been forwarding on to the family WhatsApp group ehn... you can tell it was a show-down. I no kuku respond cos I pleaded with him to send money and not go. Na lie! Baba took his new SUV and driver and landed there to chop insult on top money wey e spend. His tough luck!

    He is the Martin Luther King of the family. Dreaming that one day they will gather under the moonlight tree and tell sweet stories. Bleh! It hurts sha when I see my cousins checking me out on LinkedIn and I check them out too. We have a unique surname so we know ourselves and we are not doing badly oh. Beht we the children are just walking on eggshells, abeg.

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    1. Lol,small world,I know this family,they are from a town in central cross river state abi?,I am a cousin. The drama that went down last weekend was something else,some even fought their uncle less than 24hrs after their father's corpse was lowered,you should keep staying away,me that did ITK and traveled plus cooked,chopped several slaps for trying to stop a fight,my shoes are dusted, I no do again, the toxicity could choke an elephant.

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  19. Forgiveness is a sin in Nigeria. They come to beg for forgiveness but their goal is to have you lower your guard so that they can finish you off. Stay away from your known enemies.

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    Replies
    1. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to have them around you. Just forgive them in your heart and do whatever you can for them from a distance. If you know someone means you harm, stay away from them no matter the begging. A word us enough for the wise.

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  20. Ha. Me that cannot even eat the food cooked by my mother. I jump and pass.

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  21. My in-laws are extremely toxic especially my husband's eldest sister. She doesn't want to back down. One thing I've learnt is don't start what you can't finish. Don't start to tolerate rubbish if you can't continue to tolerate it. They gossip and back bite too much and think because they always go to church they are better people. I've learnt to keep my distance from them. If I knew what I know now I definitely would not have married into that family. They are hypocrites

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