STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HUSBAND WITH A BABY MAMA
Dear Stella,
May God bless you for all you are doing, i need serious advise please.
I am recently married. I just discovered that my husband has an 11 month old child with another woman, while my own child is 9 months old.
Should i confront him or keep quiet because he has no idea i know.
I am so confused and sad.
Please advise me.
Thank you.
*Keep quiet for what?so that he will breed more..At least asking him will shock him and put a check on his Blokos..
Please ask him......
Confront him asap but do it when you are eating and do gently.. Even though you are angry but don't show your annoyance, nevertheless, let him know you r disappointed.
ReplyDeleteI am a man
She should do it..”gently”. So that he (the adulterer without self control or fear for vows before God) can respect her more. Lovely advice👍🏽 What are we women without your respect👍🏽
DeleteMen!!!!!!
DeleteTufiakwa
Anon 15:02, you are a pig just like most men like you. God forbid! She just found out you had a baby 2 months older than hers meaning you were married to and fucking her while doing someone else without protection and you say she shouldnt show annoyance? You are mad! Yes! I say it again, you are mad.
Do you know what how hurt and broken she might have been when she found out.
Tueeehhh!!!!!
God forbid you.
Poster, Thank God you arent like me. Know one thing today, if your husband has the fear of God and secretly regrets what he did, he may put a check on it as Stella said. If he doesn’t and doesn’t care, your confronting him will only embolden him to do more and he’d have the guts to be open about it.
I hope you are financially capable to take care of yourself and baby. If you don’t, start prepping yourself just in case. God help you.
And for you anon, I have only had things to say to you which I don’t like to do. I have never insulted anyone on this blog and almost never comment but you dragged me out today . Yiu are disgusting
I don't understand. Why shouldn't she show her annoyance??? And you ended your comment with I'm a man...
DeleteSupported
DeleteWhich one is do it gently? What do you mean by that statement.You are a useless man. If you cheat and your wife catch you, she suppose slap you join
DeleteJust look at what you are saying. She should be worried about his feelings but he wasnt worried about her when he stepped out on her.
DeleteSo, 15.02, she should do it gently just as you will be when you find out your wife is pregnant with another man's child?
Delete15.02,you must be crazy.
DeleteWhy did he marry you in the first place,
ReplyDeleteIf he knew he wasnt ready to settle down,
Having an 11 month old child in a new marriage calls for great concern,
why do you want to keep mute about your findings, you can go ahead to ask him but be calm and tactful about it,
I doubt it would be easy but compose yourself and then go ahead to ask him.
Why on earth will you not ask him about it? Are you afraid of your hubby? No one is saying you should fight him but he needs to explain himself and you both need to discuss a way out.
DeleteHe should involve you in every dealing with the mother of the child, that if he respects you enough.
If you are too sacred of your own husband then behave like you don't know, imagine question.
This is the type my cousin would say he is already seeing himself going to jail,
DeleteLol
Hmm madame please confront your husband
PLEASE.
You deserve an explanation, don't keep quiet ask him so he won't go and impregnate the other woman again. She probably doesn't know you exist, ask to meet both the child and the woman and put up your rules now as to how the family should interact henceforth.
ReplyDeletePoster obviously begged and grovelled her way into that marriage. If not why would she not know how to react cos she has long lost her confidence and value in the process of "keeping a man".
DeleteShe is just asking o. She won't ask him. Make she try am now make the man kuku vex go meet the other woman. She is scared of loosing him.
Why did he marry you in the first place,
ReplyDeleteIf he knew he wasnt ready to settle down,
Having an 11 month old child in a new marriage calls for great concern,
why do you want to keep mute about your findings, you can go ahead to ask him but be calm and tactful about it,
I doubt it would be easy but compose yourself and then go ahead to ask him.
This is sad...very sad indeed.
ReplyDeleteNaija girl will only keep quiet for this kind of senseless atrocity if the
man is very rich.😮😮😮
This is sad, very sad what we ladies have reduced ourselves to.
You have to open up what you know and get to know from him if there are
other babies/babymamas he has not told you about.
Please lady, do not relent.
But do it with discretion, self-control and decide the way forward.
Wonders shall never end. Smh
ReplyDeleteIt's even possible that this baby mama is his long time chic.
Delete😅😅😅
DeleteDoppel no advice today?
Wow.. Your husband cheated on you and you are asking whether to ask.keep looking and enabling his nonsense..
ReplyDeleteYou must be mother Theresa.
mbanu please dont insult mother theresa, she was a very wise woman..
DeleteWhy would you keep quiet?
ReplyDeleteAre you afraid of him?
Before you confront him, make sure you have gathered enough evidence, just Incase he denies and tries to make you look stupid, you present your evidence.
Try and listen to him carefully to know how it came to be, that he has a kid outside.
It could be a case of baby mama trying to trap him into marrying her, it could also be he wasn’t aware of the pregnancy until recently.
I can't listen to such a man and believe him. I will always see him as a lair and a dangerous man who can kill. Imagine having a child outside and he is hiding it from his wife. This man can kill oh
DeleteHow does a woman trap a married man? By raping him? Or by winking at him? Or by jumping on him? Or by wearing mini skirt? Because men are the supposed head of the home yet they’re always painted as people who lack the most basic self control (meanwhile we women are accosted everyday). Would you use these same excuses if the women cheated
DeleteThat’s the problem when trust is broken. Still, she should hear him out.
DeleteBut what if baby mama has been his chic, and his family didn’t support their relationship and then they pushed wifey his way?
She didn’t give much info about herself and hubby.
Wow. So you and his side chick were pregnant at the same time. Please ask him so you can know what next to do.
ReplyDeleteNa wa I have no words for you yet. Let me wait for Sango's analysis tomorrow on sp.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂
DeleteLmfao😂😂😂😂 @Sango's analysis. me2 I will wait.
DeleteHe will not give in this case😂😂
DeleteKeep quiet keh? Let him know asap
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Madam d Madam, I give you double hands Oh! So you mean you're still here asking us whether yo confront him or not? Please don't. Carry on with the lovey dovey front like nothing happened ma.
DeleteIf roles were switched and you birthed a child for a man outside while still in this same marriage, will your husband be asking us whether to confront you or not?
Some men sha, very useless set of humans.mcheeewww
ReplyDeleteChineke umunwanyi...so because its a man she should ask gently meanwhile if it were a man,she would be writing this chronicle from her father's house most probably.
DeleteAll these is scary true.
You need to ask him but first, you need to ask your self some hard questions so you know what to do, whatever his answers may be.
ReplyDeletePlease ask him and don't keep silent.
ReplyDeleteYou are smart oh, I wonder how you found out. Please confront him. What are you waiting for? Your husband didn't not try oh. Not long after you got married, he is always cheating and even having a child outside. I will divorce him assuming i am in your shoes. He is not trustworthy and loyal. Such men are the ones that will bring disease home to their innocent wives. Marriage can not change some he-goats. Maybe that his baby mama has been his side chick even before he married you.
ReplyDeleteYou better mind your business.You are his wife while the other woman is only a baby mama.
ReplyDeleteBy the way,how did you know?
Hahaha!!!,why are you like this, your comment cracked me up. Lol, I am having a great suspicion that you are a man
DeleteKia it is finish in sdk blog. The comments i read from pinky always leave me thinking alot ewooooooo sai
Delete@unknown,I am a woman but I don't support women blindly because I know what we are capable of....
DeleteThis poster did not tell us how they met,how long they dated,they've been married and who this mystery woman is.
What if she snatched her husband from the woman?
If she's not guilty of anything,she would have confronted her husband immediately she found out .
Lastly,how did she find out and who told her?
I am not making excuses for her husband o.
Hian!
My brother met his wife september got married December.
DeleteBaby mama called the wife that she is pregnant for her husband a month to their wedding.
Sister in-law thought the lady want to stop her wedding.
Now the baby is 4months older than her son.
Later she might decide to write a chronicle...her husband(my brother) is a community prick.
She was aware but still went ahead because of Mrs title and money.
Pink lady I read your analysis and I can't help but agree. Because if everything was alright your head suppose don spark,you no go even come blog dey ask this Kain question. You may be right on this one
Delete17.20, but your brother IS a community prick.
DeleteLol the women on this blog...this doesn't qualify as a chronicle. Your hubby should be afraid of you not the other way round. So you need us to advice you to confront him or not. Send his number let me help you ask him why he has a baby mama & didn't inform you before hand since you are so scared. Better find your voice & confront that man with a slap if possible.
ReplyDeleteIt may be that she is fully dependent on the man.
DeleteGod bless you. I wonder at some women. Why should I be afraid of my husband? Even my father, I no Dey fear. Is he God? Please post his number here or give me your address let me go and ask him something.
DeleteMaybe because I’m financially solid and that’s why I have never experienced this.
My elder brother I stayed with(for over 3 years some 8 years ago) was messing up and giving attitude to his wife and the young girl was always trying to please him. He was older than me by 10 years and about same than his wife. The day I stood up to him was the last time he ever tried it. He was shocked and ashamed and I could see the remorse immediately. He came to my room later at night apologizing that he didn’t realize he was doing all that and was that bad and we went to his wife to beg her on our knees.
When I was leaving the house, I Warned her to never give opportunity for such Nonsense again.
Poster, who is your husband? Is he Jon Snow or Barrack Obama?
Nonsense!
Anon16:03, you are a good person. How many women will stand up for their sisters-in-law like this? God bless your good heart.
DeleteAnon 16:03, you seem like a tough, no-nonsense woman. I like 👍
DeleteBottom line is what you allow, will continue.
DeleteYou didn't tell us how long y'll been together, at least that will help us understand if he cheated on you during courtship/in marriage, or he's a fake man.
ReplyDeleteYes i was wondering too. How long are they married?
DeleteThat means this baby was conceived just 2 months before yours... that man is a real player.
ReplyDeleteYou have to confront him. Where do you people get these cheating men from? Be prepared mentally for the worst.
ReplyDeleteBabe, no time o. Confront him.
ReplyDeleteKeep quiet fire.
ReplyDeleteA whole child and you want to keep quiet. Why do you ppl marry men you fear. If I'm angry I don't even know how to hide it from my spouse.
Things dey happen o. Pls you need to confront him,not only that his family needs to know. This one is above me.
Bed and roses I am in shock,not because the man has a baby mama but because the wife actually needs advice on whether or not to confront her philandering husband ahhhhhhh.Me I don't understand this word 'marriage' again.
DeleteI am a woman and I know how men bug me even the ones that know I am married I run as fast as I can when I meet people like this.Not like I don't admire some o and not like my hubby will find out if I do but I know better than to offend my God.
This whole generalization that men must cheat should be stopped because I don't think any sane man who knows that a woman has HiV in as much as it is not a death sentence will still put his penis inside her. His penis will probably shrink on hearing the info.
Please this is not a shade on HIV patients I'm sorry if it sounds that way but that's the only way I can describe what I feel in my heart .And to buttress the fact that a man can control himself if he doesn't want to cheat
Men with play away matches and this resulted in birth. Confront him. Your husband was knacking you and knacking the other woman. Knack in the morning and knack the other in the evening. Useless men.
ReplyDeleteBe bold and don't start crying ooo
Babe confront him ASAP.
ReplyDeleteIf you become pregnant by another man, your hubby won't ask us if he should confront you or not. In stead, he will send you parking and the society will call that child a bastard.
ReplyDeleteEven call family meeting on top of her head self.
DeleteIf you get pregnant by another man, your hubby won't ask us if he should confront you or not. In stead, he will send you parking and the society will call your child a bastard
ReplyDeletePoster please do yourself a favour and confront him so you know the true situation of things...why are you even considering being silent about something as huge as a child.
ReplyDeleteThis is really disturbing and so soon into the marriage? Wow! I am sad on your behalf.
Please talk to him so you know what next to do.
He's probably still messing with his baby mama plus others..
ReplyDeleteThe baby mama might be plotting to get you out of the way..
He hid that from you, wonder what else he's hiding..
You and your kids are going to contend with her and her kid forever..
Are you still wondering if you should confront him?
Not necessarily forever, my dad gave his babymama a house, they had 3 boys together, my mom had us two girls, he didn't even send us to school, he focused on his boys while my mom catered for us, las las we both abroad with our mother, they are in naija pummeling us with calls to send stuff, we said they should take all d properties n enjoy our father, I have no biz with them ever, when I got married, my mom gave me away, she told my husband's people she's not a fan of polygamy so she left my dad,so my dad wasn't needed, he raved n raved, whosai, he should be content with his boys n concubine n vice versa.
DeleteYou guys are funny, I thought 88% of these BVs where supporting polygamy.Oha na this is how it starts.
ReplyDeleteConfront him asap. What are you waiting for?
ReplyDeleteDo it today, right away!
Don’t listen to anyone that makes you focus on that woman as your enemy. When your husband cheats on you HE is your enemy. HE is the one exposing you to STDs, disgrace, wicked people. HE is the one CHOOSING to spend time and resources meant for your family on other women. Easy to blame side chicks yet when it’s time to face the man you become dumb. I’m sorry for your hurt but just know an adulterous man is not “normal”, it’s a dangerous situation that leaves you exposed to all evil. Investigate things. Report to his family and your asap. Because you don’t know his plans or true feelings for you. Also, get tested. Team forgive and forget won’t be there for you if you get HIV/AIDS or worse. If a man cheats till he’s too old to cheat, that’s not victory. That’s also not a happy home. But the choice is yours to make. You have one life to live. Choose carefully
ReplyDeletePray for wisdom to handle the confrontation so that the aftermath of the discussion will favour you as the legal wife. Let God direct you on how to go about it.
ReplyDeleteDepending on how the confrontation is handled, some men can become defensive and turn your marital relationship into a nightmare thenceforth. The same men can still be approached in a way that will humble them into sincerely accepting their mistakes, apologize, and become more respectful of you and their marital vows.
Wisdom is key. God can make everything work out for your good. Work it out with Him first.
? Is he God? Humble ko, humble ni. Imagine using special tactic to question an ADULTERER. Imagine how ridiculous this would sound if the roles were reversed. Does he give her breath?
DeleteUtter balderdash @ D'arc Ed.
DeleteThat man is a walking *biological weapon*! A high risk agent.
No woman should stoop so low to take this your advise.
Poster, talk a walk.
@EV you got that right.
ReplyDeleteSo he had the guts to impregnate her before you (his wife)? What am I even saying! She has no business being there when you're already there..full stop! I think he's about to pull an Ubi on you, so confront him ASAP.
ReplyDeleteAsk him when you are not angry, inorder to get the full details of what lead to that but have it at back of your mind that he will try hard to defend his mistake by chipping in little lies. Hold him by his words thereafter.
ReplyDeleteBut if you raise your voice on him, he might form angryed and leave without uttering a word or full explanation. Try hard to be calm when discussing it with him and let it eyeball to eyeball.
Nagging will fetch you nothing but high blood pressure. The mistake has been done, so find a way to accommodate him and live happily.
Poster your husband your husband is neither honest nor disciplined.
ReplyDeleteHe is a player just like @EV said. He got both you and his side chic pregnant within 2 months.
Please, DIVORCE HIM!
A friend had a similar experience and her husband told her it was a mistake but HE DIDN'T STOP.
For her first two pregnancies
her hubby got the same side chic pregnant twice and claimed both were mistakes. On her third, he got another lady pregnant. 3 mistakes, huh?
She divorced him but that's what she could have done the first time.
Among some tribes, this is common. I don't know if it has to do with their culture. They just have children outside wedlock without respect to their marriage vows.
She shouldn't go anywhere Jare, no be so dem dey take divorce but she should confront him if her own hands are clean.
DeleteConfront him, we are not saying you should make trouble with him but try to find out why he hide it from you all this while. Make sure what is between him and his baby mama has been defined before anything.
ReplyDeleteWhy won't you confront him??? If I were to be in your shoes, hmm..I'm so done with the marriage! And I'll leave with my child.
ReplyDeleteFirst, calmly confront him to find out the real details. If you shout you will get nothing. Record all conversations madam and this is your basis for DIVORCE! YES! DIVORCE. You cant be fighting a man that is as coded as this,you must be smarter than him,allow him think you are calm,cry well well but plot your escape,get as much cash as you can for your child and yourself and then leave.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself 6 months to perfect your plan and sort out yourself.
Don't do strong head and be shouting up and down he will lie.
Get the baby mama to also talk while recording it too.
You are a smart woman,if you feel confronting him is best then do so but only after you have gathered enough evidence and planned your escape.
Confront the idiot.... If the table is turn arround, what do you think will be his action? Kai..,Some are pigs.
ReplyDeletePls I need Stella's email address ...
ReplyDeleteSdimokokorkus.com
Delete