Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: The Un-Announced Visitor

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Monday, December 09, 2019

The Un-Announced Visitor

The doorbell rings....
You go to open up and staring eyeball to eyeball with you is someone you know and with them are bags indicating they came to stay......







This person did not inform you or even call you on the phone..
Some even go the extra mile to get your address and then they show up and out of pity,you allow them stay and they take over your space and refuse to tell you when they will leave.....


Sometimes they invite friends ----Like i heard the other day where some guy was visiting his female relative and went along with a make friend to spend the night..he didn't call,just showed up after a long time of not seeing...lol


This is the horror some people are going through,especially because these un-announced visitors are extended family members.....

What do you think about this?what would you do if you get an un-announced visitor?Or has it happened to you already?

If i had an unannounced visitor,i will check you into a hotel and pay for two days,after that you are on your own oh..lol

71 comments:

  1. If it is late in the night you will stay. The next morning i will give you an ultimatum to your stay. If you don't like it you can leave.

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    1. I have been an uninvited and unwanted visitor in the past. Those days that my family was very poor that we can't even afford two square meal a day. I was in secondary school then being sponsored by Catholic church so I was privileged to attend one of the best schools in another state. But once its vacation time especially long vacay,I will starts looking for one far distance cousin, aunties,uncles or just any village people to stay with so that I will jump the starvation and hunger before another school resumption. There's no place I didn't go to in search of relatives in Lagos. From ike dairo street in Lagos where one of my big cousin came in from Abuja to see her parent and refused to answer my greetings until she left back to her base, to ikponri in ebutte meta where one of my village people I went to visit verbally assaulted me that if not that he's God fearing he would have raped me. I suffer no be small. All those suffering I received in my time of roaming about looking for wetin no lost made me make a resolution that I must be successful in life. I graduated with distinction from secondary school and got admission to study nursing in the university. Today I'm a nurse working in USA all those my relatives and village people that rejected me then,are the ones looking for me now. They're always ringing my phone off. You see in this life,no condition is permanent. If you see someone in need pls help bcos no one knows tomorrow.

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    2. Thank God that you are now in the USA. What will you do if one or two of the children of your distant cousins show up at your doorstep for accommodation?

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    3. Anon here own was suffering,some it is not.
      Some has their house but just can not stay

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    4. 13:58 I don't even know what to say to u.. Nothing justifies ur showing up unannounced.

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    5. Well you will go back ASAP if it's not at night. Least I can do is give u tfare to reduce your shock.

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    6. It depends on the person, my relationship with the person, the reason for showing up without notice etc

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    7. Anon 13:58 You story is touching and I genuinely feel you. Its terrible that people will not show love to other when they are in need.

      For people going through this. Please note that having said that we all also need to respect people's privacy and not appear like we are playing on their intelligence. I recall in Uni, a friend came and told me a lie to make her stay in my apartmnet free of charge. She was not in need I am sure she just spent her money and was looking for how to take advantage of me.

      Maybe a little sincere discussion about your situation and the things you are going through and politely asking if you can stay or come around might be a better way to do it everyone is sensitive to being amde a fool.

      Personally, I beleive in hustling, maybe seek to be a house help during those holidays, do holiday jobs etc

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  2. Courtesy demands u inform me before coming over to my house..but if u showed up unannounced, u r free to stay but mind u if na garri I get,we go drink am..everybody dey manage for this bubu rΓ©gime

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  3. Stella's advice is the best. I will check you into a hotel for 2 days and say byebye. That is the least that I can do.

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  4. you can stay for 2 days

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  5. Never happened to me. I am not close to my relatives though. When you know thr kind of family you come from, you device ways to handle/avoid them. They don't even have my phone number.
    For friends, I don't have any.

    Sluttychic.

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    1. We are so alike @slutty chic,one single friend I don't have, my boyfriend is always complaining, he says ,it is not a good to live life without friends,he sees it as boring.

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  6. Some people dont have sense at all,you cant come to my house unannouced .....o you wont like it at allll

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  7. Still looking for the relative/friend that will be capable of such..I've not seen. Don't call me before coming o, it will shock you.

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  8. ANYBODY wey know me PERSONALLY, know say dey no fit try that shii wi'me..
    You can't even video call me on WhatsApp without letting me know first, talk more of showing up on my front porch with your 'frigg'n BAGS'..
    I can't do the same as well.. Courtesy demands you CALL first.
    I don't run a hotel.

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  9. Exactly what Stella said. I'll also make sure to engrave it in your mind that if you try it again, you're on your own.

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  10. No matter the time of the day or night you came, I won't let you stay. I will find a very good excuse to let you go but if I'm not in a good mood, I will tell you I'm coming enter my house and lock the gate. If you wait till you are tired and start calling me, I won't pick. If I'm in a good mood, I will get a hotel for you. The question is, who is even visiting me unannounced? Everybody around me know it's in their best interest not to try that with me.

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    1. That is just too mean..we no be God o

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    2. When your house isn't the kingdom of heaven? It is well

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  11. So annoying. Why coming to my house without informing me. If it happen to me, I will just pity you and take you in just for a day while your luggage will be outside.

    It is mostly in-laws that dose that.

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  12. One of my in laws relative is on this table.two weeks after wedding.
    Till we left my state.
    We will quarrel sometimes and it will occur.
    It is wrong.pls call.it is wrong.
    You don't know their mood,their pocket.
    Their plans

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  13. You spend the night and leave the following day. No hard feelings! It's the sense of entitlement that bothers be. How can you show up without calling or sending a text?

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  14. Someone like me, you go knock tire.
    Once i peep, see you,na there you go sleep.
    I hate impromptu visits.
    I'm a chronic introvert.

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    1. Ah I do that one tire

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    2. Same here. I will simply not open my door no matter what.

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    3. I do this always.
      I once had a friend DAT will just park outside my compound and start calling me to open d gate. If the gate is already open,she will just enter and come straight to my door.
      One day she gave me 16 missed calls, I ran to peep and saw she was outside d gate already. I didn't mean to ignore her call but I was bathing my 3weeks old baby so I had to finish b4 checking to see who was calling. The way I ignored her DAT day ehn. To think I almost fell with my baby kid I was in a rush to check who was blowing up my phone. Who visits a new mom without notice bikonu?
      Anyways I've not seen nor heard from her since then. I just sent her a text that says "sorry I was in d shower,wassap?" Lol
      I'm too stress to do aproko as that is all she has to offer.

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  15. It can be so annoying. Sincerely at that moment i don't know how i will react, it all depends on my mood that day. And it also depends on who is the unannounced visitor

    i can't even go to my parent house unannounced without not calling my mum to tell her I'm coming, even when i know i will always find someone at home. Even my sis that I'm too close to, i must call to tell her I'm coming so and so day, talk more of other people

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  16. Just had one yesterday, called from the airport to crowd me in miniflat with my kids. He saw the situation and left today. He had option but wants aproko

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  17. I don't have anyone that badges in on us. You must call before coming and that is what we have.

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  18. My sister in law is on this table.anytime she quarrel with her husband she will pack her bags and come stay with us. she will now start dictating food to cook,tv channels to watch.as she is my husband elder sister can't complain much since hubby is not that bothered about it. She is an house wife so she can stay for days or weeks. Thank God for relocation all this don stop sa.

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  19. I can't allow such again.
    I remembered the one I did last two years.i dated the girl when I was serving so she just visited me unannounced.though ,I gave her my address before leaving the state I was serving.we enjoyed our self and took pictures together.she left on Monday.i posted the pics on Facebook cos na fine chick.it was the comment that made me knew that she died few months that I left the state I served.
    I went for deliverance straight away.infact her parent came and confirmed it.very terrible experience.

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    1. What!!!! this is so scary.
      How did she appear to you after being dead.
      I can imagine the shock you had! wow

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    2. Jesus! 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

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    3. Jesus! Na wao , Ghost !
      Wetin person no go read for this blog.

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    4. So you spent a whole weekend with a ghost?? Hmmm!!

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  20. Abeg, i hate it with a passion. I remember growing up, people would come from the village unannounced, expect to spent the night and be transported to wherever they were going just because we lived close to the bus park. It doesn't matter how far their actual destination was, they'll expect my parents to be their drivers, as if my parents didn't have work to go to.

    That's why i hustle everyday so i can afford an apartment in an estate. By the time you reason the protocol to gain entrance, you'll rethink dropping in unannounced. Nonsense!

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  21. Extended family don't know where i stay.

    Even friends don't know. I cannot shout.

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  22. Worst part is majority that appear unannounced in front of one's door can never tolerate it and can never be diplomatic sending you away no matter the time of the might. Folks do not take what they dish out

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  23. That thing can be so annoying, poping into someone's house without informing the person ,that you are coming. I will Shaai allow the person that night, but he has to find his way the next morning.

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  24. Some of those extended family members are potential home breakers, agents of the devil. That's how a neighbour allowed his relative stay with him and wife. Na so the relation dey carry their matter report to extended family. The wife became the devil that didn't want their brother to help them. Very entitled human beings. By the time relative left, peace reigned in the house.

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  25. Never had that experience. If a friend/family member wants to visit, the least they could do is inform ahead of time.

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  26. I have never experienced this, I don’t have any family member that will come unannounced, and if they do, it depends on my relationship with the person but if na extended family, na oyo u dey. I won’t even let u into my compound.

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  27. Replies
    1. Castle I follow you shock. I have few family and friends. I will be so happy they decided to surprise me as anytime spent with them is cherished. Just goes to show the kind of friends and relatives people have and are.

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    2. Na condition and experience dey cause some things. Some people nor be am abeg.

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  28. My mom in-law comes unannounced,she even comes with more friends with her,there is nothing I can do, I just force smile to make their stay happy.Inside marriage life experience.

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  29. My mom in-law comes unannounced,she even comes with more friends with her,there is nothing I can do, I just force smile to make their stay happy.Inside marriage life experience.

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  30. My husband's family is on this table. We live in a 4 bedroom duplex but his parents just show up without notice and insist on staying in our room. Maybe they tell their son before coming but he doesn't inform me. I will just come back from work and see them in our room. Me and my husband will now move to any room he moves to. The last one his sister came and also said she's sleeping in our room because it's finer. Before I will finish cooking he has moved some of our things to another room. That we should allow her stay, I'm just looking. because I've not figured out how to stop the nonsense. I've not told my mom yet because na big fight be that. Some families don't just know how to cut their boundaries...Not like they're broke or something. It's not like you will come and stay quiet, no they will be chooking mouth in everything up and down.

    Marriage is almost 2yrs. No kids yet.

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    1. Hmmmmmmmm sis God will give children soon by his grace but that shouldn't make you fold your hands and allow your self to controlled biko, I can't imagine my own mother telling me that she prefare to sleep in my room much less an in law, like seriously...... Don't start what you can't finish oooo

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    2. Hmmmmm, you better go for prayer and fasting .
      That their staying in your bedroom is not ordinary .
      Some families sha

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    3. Wow..... don't you both know your matrimonial bed is sacred?
      You better wake up and be firm what nonsense abi you are scared your hubby will send you packing if you object?
      You probably married someone you can't talk to cos of money. Be there let soap be entering your eyes oh.
      Put an end to that nonsense immediately....inukwa!

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    4. I cant believe any woman will tolerate this. Do you know if they are putting jazz on your matrimonial bed that's making the belle not to to enter?? What rubbish calmness is this??

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    5. What sort of shameless pathetic in laws do you have? Is your husband a man at all? Why will they always want you guys to vacate your room when theere are other bedrooms in the house?? Please let this nonsense not happen again, it sounds ridiculous!!! Shit, wake up from your slumber, your mumu don do.

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    6. Maybe you should arrange one room to the taste of your own room, that way there wont be any excuses, emphasize on the fact that you arranged the room for them.

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    7. Thanks everyone, it's not that Im allowing anyone control be. You see I actually have a history of violence and I've worked so much to get my tolerance level to where it is, as it is now I look away and walk away from anything that will trigger anger. I don't want to beat up somebody's mother, father or brother.

      All the rooms are actually beautiful and we'll decorated but if you don't call before coming how will we dust it and change the sheets? I don't have a help yet and only have time during weekends. He is not richer than me, although he doesn't know it. So it's not money issue. Thanks

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    8. Eyaa, you are trying anon 7:15 but sit down and discuss with hubby about their attitude. Prepare a room for them which you maintain regularly, since they are frequent. Take care and be prayerful. Never turn yourself to a guest in your own home.

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    9. Me, I can't tolerate this. No way. My matrimonial bedroom is strictly for I and hubby, not extended family members.

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  31. I grew up with the mentality that it's the proper thing to do. You inform people ahead before showing up on their doorstep.
    When I got married, things changed. None of my in-laws call ahead. Irrespective of how far they are coming from. We will just hear a knock and greetings in their local dialect. One day, my MIL had to sneak me out with my daughter through the back door. I was pregnant with my second chile and the woman they said was a very wicked somebody. I was the one that was in the hotel for 3days. In laws that will show up with their entire family. I have now learnt to accommodate every every. If I find my self in this situation, I will take the person in and share my garri with you. I'm now used to it.

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  32. I definitely will not be happy about the impromptu visit but I gat one question for him or her, what will you be doing inside my house while I go to work??

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    Replies
    1. Lol, watching tv amd eatingπŸ™„.

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  33. My mother in law is late, but her younger sis is alive and i took her as my MIL.,she doesnt even notify us of her visit, she ll just call to say, we are at d busstop, come and pick us, she comes with two of her grown up boys and her grandson..,and they all eat different things.

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  34. My husband and I don’t have family members who show up unannounced but if they do,we will definitely welcome them because there must be a reason for coming.The anon who is a nurse in America,I am glad you made it.

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  35. I was home alone, hubby had traveled out of state, it was nite time and i was going round doing security checks before going to bed, when a neighbor called out while i was inside one of the rooms closest to their bq. she said " madam you dey house since,your bil dey outside dey wait for your oga". Bil ke, who be that I asked he called out a name i had never heard of. I told him straight up, why you no call your broda say you dey come, he replied that his phone switched off. Me i told him he travelled locked my window and left to call hubby. That one no kuku get time, told me to ignore him which i did. Guy man slept outside that nite. me I no kuku care cos I no know him agenda sef. turned out to be a relative who was stranded looking for where to pass the night as well as collect transport fare.

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  36. I brought up to inform people before visiting and it's very easy now with cellphones. So what excuse do we have? Abeg no one has ever tried that with me and my husband and I will discuss this prior to our wedding. Not right at all

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  37. If it's my eldest brother he will allow you that night and will inform you to leave his house the next day.

    I remember one of my other brothers friend asking if our house in Lagos is made of gold that we don't let people in without much questions

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