Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, January 12, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Na wah..............








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FROM HEART BREAK TO HEART BREAK


Dear Stella,


I love your blog, please keep up the good work.


I'm a young lady in my middle 20's i guess I'm in love with the wrong man. I met my fiance the month i graduated from school we were so much in love "so i thought" he said he wanted serious relationship so i thought we could make things work out.


After 14 months in our relationship he tells me he has a son, i was shocked to my bones. But for the love i have for him i was more than willing to adopt this boy as my son, After his son incidence i became suspicious that if he could hide such from me then there was more to him that i  didnt know. So i found out he was married, had two kids and his wife died after their second child.


He begged that he was afraid to lose me and i was going to leave him, did i mention he lied about his age too? This guy is in his mid 40's. My family was mad and they wanted him out of my life for good, but i was deeply involved already and i couldn't imagine starting from scratch, he begged again and his kids are so lovely so i made up with him...


I felt we were happy again until i found out he's also a serial cheat i could not take that that so i left for another city to pick up the pieces of my life.


I got a job on my arrival even if it wasn't a well paying job i just wanted to have a fresh start, a week after i left his town he calls again, we had not spoken in almost 3months. I gave him another chance to prove himself and this time he swept me off my feet. I was showered with immense love, care and attention. A month later i was engaged and i was happy i felt and thought my dreams had come through.


He met my dad and he was given two months interval to pick a date so we both agreed on the date he picked and i took it to my dad for approval, Already I had to calm my parents down due to what had transpired before now,and he had apologised. 

So we had about 4 months to prepare, i had made all necessary arrangements my parents had told our extended family that i was having my introduction. Everyone was calling to congratulate me, i had taken permission off work already waiting for the D day!


He said his mom is old and she wouldn't be able to make it,i could understand for a woman in her 80's, so she called and told my dad they wanted a low key introduction and just immediate family members and she or any of his siblings wouldn't be able to make it so we would do it via whatsapp video call, my dad placed a call through to me immediately and i was like 'mogbe' video call ke? So i called him and that was where my whole world tore apart.


I was broken beyond words in was just 6 days to my introduction! How do i tell people what has happened? so i tried to call his eldest sister, she gave excuses why they couldn't come plus she had no where to keep her kids and she had never traveled to my state before, that worsened everything, i had to tell my dad to cancel, i was embarrassed my family kept calling and texting.


He went mute i had to force him to go see my dad to straighten out things, which he did but still hasn't made any move to bring his family its been over 3months so I decided to call the relationship off when he started giving me attitude.


I know i had my own share of blame, I should have walked out a long time ago, it still hurts a lot because I genuinely loved and cared about him. I'm really not lucky with love but I'm Thankful for where God's grace has taken me.


Stella it took me months to type my story I was always stopping, I decided to move on after some months. So I searched for a guy I dated back then when I was attempting getting into the university, I was young and naive so let's say I really didn't care about our relationship ,we got back back together in my 200 level but lost contact again.


I searched him on Facebook and just said I was checking on him since it's been years, he responded we exchanged contacts and had couple of lunch dates I apologised for all that happened between us.


He said it was fine that he doesn't have time for himself now and would need sometime to fix himself up, I could understand its been years so we called and checked up on each other regularly and we planned a get away weekend.


With all the stress I went through with my Ex I just wanted to clear my head and be happy.
The weekend was lovely we had drinks, went to the mall together he cooked for me and I felt joy I hadn't felt in a longtime, we talked about our future together he said he still needs time so our relationship wouldn't suffer since his past relationships had suffered due to lack of time because of his "Banking job".


So we planned another get away for next weekend. so I had to cancel because I needed to go see my parents, I tried reaching him but he wasn't answering his phone,so I sent messages but no response...... he just said he's quite busy I thought it was work so didn't bother to disturb him.


So I just remembered I hadn't talked to him the day before, I call him he ends the call, I thought it wasn't convenient to talk, so a colleague calls minutes latter then another call comes in and I ignored to call back when I'm done with my colleague. So I usually check unknown numbers before calling and to my surprise it's a lady's name with his surname...

 I honestly thought it's his sister's phone number. I decided to check out the name on Facebook and wow! He's married!!!!

 I was shocked to my bone.... why lie to me about that? I told him about my Ex I'm just healing.


I sent him their wedding picture and told him not to ever contact me, why are some men so demonic? I have left him to God I'm still shocked but I thank God for taking out toxic people from my life in 2019. It's going to be a fresh start for me and i'll definitely share my testimony.




*One thing you must do is to stop jumping from one relationship to another..give yourself time to heal and you will be able to see better ...
So the first guy,you called it off cos his family would not have been able to attend?or you just remembered the whole ish and decided to walk away...

46 comments:

  1. Poster calm down. U seem gullible! Stop jumping on men. You seem desperate. Take time out to look for better job. Concentrate on yourself more and good relationships will find you. Dnt rush to make decision wen u enter relationship. Get to know the person well! Check if the love is real. I wish I was told all these when I was younger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is 2020, the year to weed out all negative relationships and move on. Look before you leap dear or you will keep making the same mistake. Don't go searching for old boyfriends because they didn't sit there waiting for you to come back, they moved so as you moved on.
      Take your time this time around and don't let family put pressure on you.

      Delete
    2. She's not just gullible, she's desperate to a fault.

      Delete
  2. I pray you learn your lessons from these experiences. You also need to share the blame cos you exhibited acts of impatience. Your Ex took advantage of your pain, most guys do actually.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Give it time.. you seem desperate. Small time now you will think it's your village people that is after you or probably start thinking of suicide. Just be you and forget about guys. The right one will surely come when you're not thinking

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well.. Keep moving.. God will see you through..

    Lesson learnt; don't go back to what you already left behind..☺

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's good she called it off. Is not like the whole family is living abroad sef. WhatsApp call for wedding intro. Who does that? The honest truth is that the man was not ready. Him wife fit never die sef. Did you see burial pictures? Did you see a picture of him crying in front of the casket? If your ans is no, then my sister I am glad u did. That his old mother can actually be an audio mama sef.๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ 80 something yrs old wants to do WhatsApp call for her son's intro? As a matter of fact,that entire family na audio. As for the second man, I join you leave am in the hand of God. Alot of married men really don't know what they want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon, you are crazy๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ which one is 'did you see pictures of him crying in front of a casket's๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Poster you're in your mid 20s(abi I no read well?) and rushing in and out of relationship. Better calm down, love finds you when you're not looking.

      Delete
    2. His wife is very much alive.
      A guy lied to me like that here in but due to previous experience, I was able to catch him in the game. These men only care about their kids, they don't care about the wives and will always lie to get your sympathy.

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:13 you are so right the man is a liar his wife is still alive. He you were going to be a second wife good thing you gave yourself sense and left left him.

      Delete
  6. Come here n take hug*...oh my dear girl, you have been a real softie n sucker for love.

    These experiences should toughen you up, slow down, breathe for a while, stop making yourself vulnerable, the first man is a scam, are u sure his wife is dead? Even if she is, dude is a scam, second guy, u opened d door for him, stay your lane for a while, stop being a softie, toughen up.

    Dont develop heart ache coz of man matter o, u go old quick.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Poster learn not to use another man to heal from health break, you left one relationship and boom you are already talking about life with an ex abi toaster you left cos as at then he was not good enough for you. Let me say something the moment refuse to date a guy he is moving to a new person, if not that your ex messed up you should b happily married. You want him to remain single and be waiting you till you finish with all the guys around before you will say.

    The guy didn't have time to tell you he was married because you didn't give him time to talk, you got carried away with I want to marry. I want to pepper my ex, I want to use him and heal but one thing for sure oga was ready to pepper you since you left him in the past and now you are back to marry him. Did you even ask him if he was married? You concluded he was married, mtcheeeew mtcheeeew mtcheeeew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He didn't asked the guy about his status but just want to just into another relationship asap.

      Delete
  8. Young lady stop being desperate all in the name of "getting married ".
    Men are not all scum,actually, you showed that you were desperate and you overlooked so many things and that is why you are sending in a Chronicle.
    Give yourself a year,before trying out any relationship.
    Love yourself enough please, to know when to run and when to stay.
    P.s. Always listen to your parents, most of the time,its right.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Please dear poster give a relationship a break. Heal first before starting another.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry poster, but we ladies must learn to listen to our instinct, we all know when we are dating married men but we also end up making excuses for them, which is the reason why they toss with our hearts.
    my horseband has engaged some beautiful faces with this kind of game but I can't come and kee myself oo, when you call a man and he doesn't pick up and calls you back when it's seemingly OK for him.. Sister run oooooo. He only talks to you when he is alone,, na dem....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Ma.
      You can't kill yourself because your husband kills you every single time he lies that you don't exist.

      Delete
  11. This your story is pathetic and just like Stella said you need to take a break and stop jumping from one relationship to another cause desperation won’t even allow you see road well. Don’t allow desperation keep pushing you into the hands of men that would not only deceive you but also waste your time. Give yourself a year or two gap and focus on your self development and growth. Don’t bother about getting into any relationship for now cause honestly you will keep falling into the wrong hands.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The truth is, I got tired of your Chronicle half way. I managed to read to the end though. You seem so desperate to be married and therefore, it doesn't really matter to you who you end up with as long as you are married. You ended a relationship and went searching for an ex on Facebook? I don't even know what to say. Just set personal goals for yourself and pursue it, the right man for you will locate you and do the chasing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually thought Stella will give her E-slap..why in the world will you go searching for an ex on Facebook its highly irritating..

      Delete
  13. Relationship wahala... I think you should stay off men for a while.. You need a break and some alone time..

    There are always lessons to learn from all these. It is well.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You should relax. Mid 20s and your sense isn't mature yet?
    You give these men the opportunity to use and mess you up. Why are you love needy? Imagine all the nonsense you took from that man all in the name of love.
    That's how it starts, even with glaring signs, you forge ahead thinking he'll change after marriage. Guard your heart and emotions sis.
    Stop rushingg into relationships like it's air you breath. Take some time off and work on yourself.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lmao, I put it to you that the first guy is still very much married. His family decided not to be part of this nonsense intoduction becuase of it. All his family suddenly claimed busy. Stop searching for your exes. Love will come to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. The first guy is not just married, he was financially reliant on his wife and that is why the entire family was hesitant to be part of the sham even though they couldn't deny their son. He probably has a bit of money now and thinks the next thing is to humiliate and humble his wife who has been supportive while he was counting coins. That's why you met the kids but never saw an obituary announcement or photographs. You didn't let us know what you do for him financially but I suspect men like this don't plunge in blind.

      This is what happens when you set the day of your wedding in your head instead of seeing the standards and values of the life you want to have and working towards becoming the person of your dreams. You start setlling for men and women who are the antithesis of your destiny because you were never supposed to know them closely in the first place. Anything of the opposite gender will begin to look like "the one" because you have not drawn up a standard to compare to.

      What do you mean by "but i was deeply involved already and i couldn't imagine starting from scratch..." Aunty, are you planning to die young? You spent 14 months being taught an expensive lesson, an MSc. Inside Life and you still want to repeat class? So you will waste another 14 or 40 years as a second wife or official mistress before you receive sense? This is the confusion and low standard you want to bring children into? Or you haven't taken time off asoebi Bella to think of them?

      If an unserious ex had been the one to hunt you out on Facebook as a rebound, would you not be pissed and lusting for a pound of flesh? Why do unto him what you don't want done to you? In your attempt to transfer wickedness to a fellow human, you got burned by a man you had burned in the past. You let a wicked married man make you wicked and this wickedness made you vulnerable to another wicked married man. Wickedness overtaking wickedness.

      Please sit back for at least 9 months and just pen down your dream life and your dream relationship- not the one your mother or pastor wants but the one you would enjoy even if you never interviewed or envied about it. Not the one to pepper them or o show off at reunions but that which would put you at peace and make you deeply satisfied. Think of the person you want you be, the kind of family you want to build and the things you want to have. Write them down and ask yourself what you can do right now to get there and what values you need to adopt to achieve these things. Hold on to these and never again date or sleep with someone except YOU want to. This approach of being intentional will help you focus, drown out the white noise of time wasters and emit the pheromones that your life partner would be attracted to. Birds of a feather flock together. For two to walk together, they must agree. Stop confusing yourself and your future husband.

      Delete
  16. You can be single for awhile without searching for prick to heal you, its okay to heal ur inside yourself. Leave man alone for now

    ReplyDelete
  17. Nne, sorry to hear all that happened to you. I believe you will recover and heal well if you take the right steps.
    But when you say "toxic people" it sounds to me like you were actually cooking the toxins and adding spices to it.๐Ÿ˜•
    Many ladies make the mistake of thinking that a man who has shown all the tendencies you enumerated; lying, concealing
    vital information of life events, cheating etc. that once they marry them, they will change. Please my beloved, marriage
    is not a salvation experience, it is not making Jesus Lord of ones life. Yes, a good wife can influence her husband's character
    and vice versa but it is still not salvation.
    Again, a relationship ends, you are hurting. It is not time to jump off and find a discarded dude to make you happy.
    Rather it is a time to mourn, seek God, repent from hidden sins and ask God for leading and direction. By so doing, you will find
    Joy and joy is enduring unlike happiness that is so temporary and vain.
    Girl, will you seek the Lord Jesus or you chose to keep vacillating and making blunders on your young life?
    Okwa sincere ajuju oo ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŒน

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe...ANG!
      Correct advice.

      Delete
    2. @Kamikaze
      This one you no bomb me or shoot arrows, did somebody hack ya account?
      ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      Delete
  18. The first story is so me
    Met a guy , after a while we fixed a date to get married , dude couldn’t bring a single family member to see my family
    Excuses upon excuses, they had the nerve to ask my dad to send the marriage list thru WhatsApp ooo
    Even when his siblings were in same state with my family
    Bottom line dude was never ready and does not knw what he wants
    After Two years plus I had to move on cos it was always gonna be an audio marriage

    ReplyDelete
  19. you went searching for an ex on Facebook!!!! you rely mustn't be in a relationship at all times. pls just focus on loving your self ist.the right on will definitely come while you ain't searching.e-hugs.Hm

    ReplyDelete
  20. You're so desperate to be in a relationship. Why calling an old guy that has moved on to see if you both can hook up?
    You're the one hurting yourself because these guys can smell your desperation from miles away and they will use it against you.
    Face your job, take yourself out, have some good time with yourself and let a man find you instead of a this your desperate moves

    Them go just chop you clean mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  21. all I can say is,you will be fine... pls relationship alone for now, invest in your happiness first . am almost 40 , hopeful , but not desperate, life is not fair at times, so have been more lucky than others... through it all thou has taught me to say "it is well"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep that hope alive. God still works miracles!

      Delete
    2. ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

      Delete
  22. Dear poster,
    I understand the loneliness that comes from not being in a relationship or being the special one to someone. It's annoying and exasperating. But one thing that is worse than this is if you find yourself in a relationship that is not truthful. Natures differ, but i want to encourage you to love yourself and build yourself. Don't be too eager to jump into any relationship out of desperation it will reduce your self worth. You will get what you want, just be patience about it. #Shalom

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear poster,
    I understand the loneliness that comes from not being in a relationship or being the special one to someone. It's annoying and exasperating. But one thing that is worse than this is if you find yourself in a relationship that is not truthful. Natures differ, but i want to encourage you to love yourself and build yourself. Don't be too eager to jump into any relationship out of desperation it will reduce your self worth. You will get what you want, just be patience about it. #Shalom

    ReplyDelete
  24. Men are best used , don't fall for their crap!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pretty much. let them invest in you not the other way around. they are even happier when they are giving a woman things in relationships. all these lazy men of this generation wanna turn things upside down.

      Delete
  25. Dear poster take time out from relationships and try building your career. You will meet a responsible guy along the way

    ReplyDelete
  26. Just take time out in relationships....Let 2020 be a year of loving and enjoying your space. And saying No to premarital sex. Love will find you.

    Besides that your 1st Ex I guess the wife is still very much alive. You were just a sex partner.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You searched out the second yourself guy was on his lane jeje. First be in a relationship with yourself if not this circle will continue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes o. never search out old boyfriends or former toasters esp if they didn't contact you first. men can smell desperation and will use any opportunity to get free puss. I almost fell in trap, mom was disturbing me to marry and i remembered one guy that was on my case then that i still don't like because Houston guys are scammers and i am not phsically into yoruba guys like that. sha.

      Anyway i hit this guy up and he resumed toasting me, telling me he's interested bla bla bla. i still wasn't feeling the guy but beggars can't be choosers and i needed a boost in self esteem after a bitter breakup. i was already following him on instagram but something told me to follow him with my stalker account. one day like that i was on my stalker account nd i saw he had posted a story of his newborn half oyinbo baby. chai! turns out this man was married to oyinbo all these years. i was confused when i went to my real account and noticed he had blocked me from seeing his stories. I didn't even bother telling him anything cus i hadn't slept with/ didn't care for him. just simply blocked him everywhere. I have never entered a guy's dm since. taught me a lesson!

      Delete
  28. stella told you the truth, poster. take a breather and focus on yourself, don't be so anxious to tag along with a man, most times their priorities are so radically different from yours, from whatbcan give you joy, happiness and fulfillment.

    live your life, develop yourself, make money, hang out with family, eat good food, go to the movies with female friends who share your values & life outlook, drink some wine, babe just live!

    life is beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  29. Imagine, whatsapp video call for introduction? Where is that done? U really should have walked away the first time, u were in love so its understandable.... About d second guy u shouldn't have checked him out again, what led to d breakup before? That u wanted him again, besides someone u have not seen or heard from in years u should have really checked very well, u wouldn't have missed the part of him been married, even if its not written in his profile, Atleast his wife or a friend or so must have tagged his wedding pictures with him, or the comments on his updates would have shown u he is involved with someone, anyways thank God its over now and u are better... Wishing u d best in twenny twenny... It shall b ur year of breaking limits

    ReplyDelete
  30. Why I always say no to struggle love or situationship. 2 yrs of my life wasted on a guy telling me to be patient and we should build before marriage. . i stayed there like a mumu building and building, depriving myself refraining from asking him for things cus i thought he didn't have. turning able men down because I thought I has husband. what a fool! lmao. this guy finish nysc started working, i was thinking hmm maybe it will finally be time. nope! even small savings the guy no get still squatting with his elder bro. small time, the guy got distant and said he's not ready for relationship only for me 2 find out he is sleeping with any and every around town.

    omo i gave myself sense. i japa straight o.! before i go turn to dickmatized ode with different yama yama stds. mba. i no do. Thank God for social media. i know they say stalking ex is bad but if I didn't I would have continued fooling myself cus men are evil and lie a whole lot. no loyalty in them. infact Thank God for stalking. i no fit shout eesh. now, no more building and waiting. if a guy is not ready to provide in marriage, pele oh.

    ReplyDelete

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