STANDALONE NARRATIVE
IN LOVE WITH THE WRONG PERSON
How can one handle being in love with the wrong person. I met him at a party recently and I will say it was love at first sight and the feeling was mutual but he is a very shy person so I made the first move on him.
This guy has been amazing, I feel this peace and genuine happiness when I am with him. The issue is he does not have a steady job and I have advised this guy to go get a job but he keeps saying he wants to do his own thing but he doesn't have a capital to start a thing and me I cannot spend my money on a guy oh.
I have done it once and I wouldn't do it again. I am at a cross road because I still wonder why I like this guy so much. We are already dating and I don't even know whether to continue with the relationship or quit now that it is still young. I am in my early 30s while he is in his late 30s
*You toasted him? LOL,I like you!!!
IN LOVE WITH THE WRONG PERSON
How can one handle being in love with the wrong person. I met him at a party recently and I will say it was love at first sight and the feeling was mutual but he is a very shy person so I made the first move on him.
This guy has been amazing, I feel this peace and genuine happiness when I am with him. The issue is he does not have a steady job and I have advised this guy to go get a job but he keeps saying he wants to do his own thing but he doesn't have a capital to start a thing and me I cannot spend my money on a guy oh.
I have done it once and I wouldn't do it again. I am at a cross road because I still wonder why I like this guy so much. We are already dating and I don't even know whether to continue with the relationship or quit now that it is still young. I am in my early 30s while he is in his late 30s
*You toasted him? LOL,I like you!!!
Its your choice oh if you wanna help him or not but if you have enough and you say he is amazing,why not help him with the condition that he must marry you?LOL.......you wanna marry him right?Since you toasted him,that shouldn't be a problem to say...
Whatever you decide to do,let it be something that gives you peace of mind and not pieces of mind.
This one you were that toasted him, I hope the feeling is mutual. It’s not good for a woman to love the man more, it’s always better the other way round. And again, giving him capital is 50:50 tomorrow. Do what makes you happy though
ReplyDeleteYour mind seems made but I'm here to congratulate you and assure you that it will end in tears. Men don't thrive under such conditions, men don't appreciate a woman helping them, men are ungrateful. Many years down the line he will either tell you that he didn't ask for your help or give you sheet of paper to write everything down so he can refund you. Either way, tears babe. Tears.
DeleteLate 30s and he doesn't have a job or business he's already doing.
DeleteIf that isn't a RED FLAG tell me what is ? At late 30s you shld have your shit together. Im not saying rich but you shld have smthn ur doing.
My dear, helping men is a GAMBLE!
DeleteSome appreciate, some don't. Unfortunately, higher percentage DON'T! Why? You become a mirror image of their insecurities! They always want to prove their masculinity with you, thereby constantly hurting you whichever way they can just to feel superior.
Please if you want to help a man, NEVER do pass yourself. What you cannot forget, please DON'T do!
Don't give me one naira, late 30s and not doing anything tangible. My dear put on your shoes and run.
DeleteLate 30s and yet to find his foot? 😂
DeleteGirl, you are his career. Enjoy the companionship and sense of being in a relationship while it last, that is, till you meet someone else or get tired. That's what men do. When they date and see you don't have what they need in a wife, they keep you till they find her. It will give you this sense of balance where you won't go toasting another guy anytime soon and you will glow and be attractive to real men who will step on his head to win you as you deserve. Remember, lions love the chase while hyenas go for easy kill or rejected meat.
As in late 30’s and he’s not certain about what he wants to do. That’s enough red flag already girl.
DeleteBusybee, you’ve said it all. I agree with you.
DeleteThe way some of you make me laugh enh, a mature 30year old girl doesn't know she doesn't need this baggage?
DeletePlease keep it moving.
You made your choice. 😂
ReplyDeleteLate 30s and yet to find his foot? 😂
DeleteGirl, you are his career. Enjoy the companionship and sense of being in a relationship while it last, that is, till you meet someone else or get tired. That's what men do. When they date and see you don't have what they need in a wife, they keep you till they find her. It will give you this sense of balance where you won't go toasting another guy anytime soon and you will glow and be attractive to real men who will step on his head to win you as you deserve. Remember, lions love the chase while hyenas go for easy kill or rejected meat.
Even Don can see there's something wrong here and he/she is usually pro-men. Hmmm
DeleteAge is not on your side o help him if he’s a loyal person everyone needs a destiny helper in this world
ReplyDeleteOr you partner with him get a lawyer to do it
ReplyDeleteHe is a smooth operator... Better run for your life...
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't want to work on look for capital... Na so e dey start
It’s not advisable to give guys money....mostly the ones you shot at.
ReplyDeleteHe should get a loan or something to start his thing. Keep supporting him morally 😌
On the other hand, if you trust and believe in him, you can invest in this thing of his. Have your lawyer draw up an agreement. Just Incase anything happens, you pull out with your investment. But if he is loyal to the core and everything turns out well, that’s be great.
You are the man in the relationship...na you toast, so it's fair that u take care of his needs, he was on his own n u came to toast him, oya...😁
ReplyDeleteLol@ "He was on his own"
DeleteHahahaha! This is apt!
DeleteLmao
DeleteB😂🤣😂😂 wicked
DeleteYou this babe 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteAlexa, Can you play me "crazy stupid love" by Cheryl Cole 🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️
ReplyDeleteI call that Alexa a witchcraft machine.😂😂
Delete🤣😂🤣😂
DeleteI'm surely buying my own Alexa 😂😂😂😂😂
Delete😮😮😮😮 You propose give dude?
ReplyDeleteChai this sisi fall my hand well well.
And you disappointed Baba God who said;
the man finds a wife and obtains favor from him... Proverbs 18:22
You want him to get a job and marry you okwa ya? 😊😊
And you his supposed "helper" cannot lift your little finger to help him; greedy? 😮
And when you say "I like him..."
LIke is not enough for marriage inugo?
If it is not "LOVE" unconditional agape love, dump it in the thrash.
And my ajuju n'ese okwu o 😊
You don dey steal fork?
😮😮😮😮
You see a bus full of armed robbers and agbero, you stop the bus, jump in... you never reach your destination, you begin complain.
ReplyDeleteLook poster help him because you want to and not that you expect him to marry you at the end of the day.. Charle may have one shorty somewhere. Once he gets what he wants, he moves onto the next one!!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, that guy is very lazy you mean he doesnt want to work to get the capital or he is waiting for capital to fall from heaven on him..Madam be careful oh and dont expect a lot from him cos he will disappoint you..Dont make yourself a cash cow..
You are very smart
DeleteIf you have seen Acrimony, na replay be this.
DeleteSince you proposed to him, why don't you go ahead and pay bride price?
ReplyDeleteDisgrace of womanhood. 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩
Smh 🤦♀️
ReplyDeleteWalk out of chronicle
Poster, i dont know why i just remembered this Rihannas song after reading your chronicle.....
ReplyDeleteDesperado
Sitting in a old Monte Carlo
A man whose heart is hollow, uh
Take it easy
I'm not tryna go against you
Actually, I'm going withcha
Gotta get up out of here and
You ain't leaving me behind
I know you won't, 'cause we share common interests
You need me, there ain't no leaving me behind
Never, no, no, just want outta here, yeah
Once I'm gone, ain't no going back
If you want
We could be, yeah, runaways
Running from any sight of love
Yeah, yeah, there ain't nothing
There ain't nothing here for me
There ain't nothing here for me anymore
But I don't wanna be alone
Inside u and poster , I no know who get sense.. u came to type full album here for no reason mscheww
DeleteAnon 20:11 I tire for this matter ooo!
Delete🤣🤣🤣
Let him go,
ReplyDeleteIn his late 30's and still waiting to start his thing.
What happened to start some where like getting a job first.
biko go if wana gooooo!haba
ReplyDeletemet my girlfriend 2years ago! things were nt working out good for me then, even to toast woman I got discouraged about that cause I so blv I don't have much to fund any relationship but I get green light from ladies but deep down I knew las las the relationship won't last cause no vas to spend, Naija ladies come for the money the D.... na bonus(fact then)
nt until my Gf proved me wrong started after 4months wrote me cheque of 7million naira.. I was shock cause never knew she has such now we are close to ok! even if we don't ended marrying she part of my life now and nothing can change that
Oga gold digger shut up. Are you not ashamed to say a woman wrote you a cheque. Still opened that your mouth to say if you guys don't end up marrying, She is part of your life.
DeleteThat is how my friend was spending money on her man, at the end the man had another woman somewhere. She found out later and she almost killed herself. I keep telling ladies, don't suffer with any man they are not worth it. I am married to a good man today who provide for his family. I work but he doesn't care about my money. poster tell that your man to go and get a loan. Don't give him your money. Don't even let him know you have money.
🙄🙄🙄🙄
DeleteCan y'all hear this fool 15:27?
Delete(Even if we don't marry... After starting life with her 7million naira o)
Devil is a LIAR
That's how they operate!
Once they get the help, all they are thinking is fucking other bitches in diff area codes.
Because they know you won't tolerate that, they dump you to have freedom.
MEN ARE NOT LOYAL!!!
Very SELFISH lot...
Poster scroll down here, read, digest and better borrow yourself brain!
He ended up not marrying the woman who loved him so much she invested 7M in his life. Poster, shey you are seeing.
DeleteWhich one is even though we don't get married?
DeleteSo, she's not good enough for you to marry?
So the 7mill buys compatibility abi? He must marry her, thats the bait na. Abeg shift.
DeletePoster, 15.27 has painted the perfect picture of what the future holds for you are Mr late 30s.
DeleteGod will punish you.
DeleteA whole 7m and you are saying if you don't marry.
You must marry o wicked man.
"even if we don't ended marryin" okay I rest my case. women, give men money at your own risk o. LMAO!
Delete@Poster, be informed that you the one taking the lead in your relationship. Do not start what you cannot finish - not when you guys get married, you'll start complaining that he does not do anything unless you nag or push him. if you say he does not have a steady job yet you are telling him to get a job, it's somehow confusing, does it mean that he is currently out of job? If a man does not currently have capital for a business, should he not get a job so that he can save and then invest in a biz? What is your guy's plan towards raising capital for his biz or is he waiting for a human ATM?
ReplyDeleteIf you meant that he is currently jobless, yet does not want to get a job and is not making any tangible plan to raise capital for a business, then he is a LAZY MAN.
I will not advice any lady to finance a man's business when he is not yet your husband, the man should be a provider while the woman a help suitable for him. Even if you give him money for his business, he may not still marry you. So be guided, look before you leap.
Madam E God bless you for this advice. Poster better listen and don't fall maga for any man that is not yet married to you. These men are not loyal.
DeletePoster, I don't trust that guy! He is in his late thirties (36-39yrs old) and he doesn't still know what he want to do with his life.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, you can help for humanity and God sake, but not because you want him to marry you please.
If he decides to grow up and become financially responsible and then propose marriage to you, you can go ahead and accept his proposal since you've already fallen for him. But, if he decides not to marry you, I beg you in the name of God, don't go on social media to cry wolf and scream how men are scum.
I wish you luck in whatever decision you decide to take.
No comment.
ReplyDeleteYou're in your early 30s. He's in his late 30s. Poster, run!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would have said "hold on" if you were both in your 20s. At your age, i believe you're ready to settle down and would probably want a courtship of less than a year before marriage. He's in his late 30s and till now hasn't figured out himself. A man who hasn't figured out himself would not be fully committed to you. He may end up just using you, especially when you're the one who toasted him. Be wise!!!
You see, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong in making the first move BUT when you do then you have to accept that what you see is what you get. If you want to change that then you have to contribute to the change. Early 30s is not the end of the world. Do not go settle for garbage because of your age or better still turn the garbage into gold. He is in his late 30s and acting like those upcoming rappers in their early 20s. Look well before you leap! I would be 39 this year and I still won't settle for him,then again I'm not interested in marriage or kids so my case might be different. But stil, be careful.
ReplyDeleteThat is how they are oo. Lazy bunch. Bcos they know they are attractive and they know u like them so much,they begin to form wanting to own their company. All na scam. Pls run if u still can. Lastly just put him on a watch list. You will be shocked to even find that he might be gay as well. For ur mind now o u don meet man wey dey shy. Why he is being shy,u shine ur eyes. I am telling u bcos I have had similar experience. By the time is become too late eh,it pushes you to the point of placing a cause on the individual. To avoid all that,dont give him any money and dont sleep with him so that u will not be the one buying the sex. B4 u know guy man will say you paid for his services. Remember u r in Nigeria. I heard that everything there na hustle.
ReplyDeletePls drop that lazy guy. Once i hear i want to my own business, sister, na dem.
ReplyDeleteNo kobo, no business plan.Very lazy set of guys. Pls run away, if not he will ruin you.
Aunty i understand how you feel. Broke guys are so sweet.. The can be nice down to earth. In fact the can so catch you attention and be forming cool.. Just run..sha. You will be there loving him and biological clock will tick finish on your head.
ReplyDeleteWell I think you should help him and make it look like a loan so he can repay it back just incase the relationship doesn't work out, never leave a good man because of money
ReplyDeleteMy dear, from experience, don't give him any money please. He won't marry you. He's only in for the convenience. You were very convenient, he didn't even have to do the chasing.
ReplyDeleteThe only way to tie him down is to give him money and to continue to give him money. And even at the end,he won't marry you, unless you give him a condition like Stella said. And you already know how that will trun out.
Broke guys are no good, I can assure you.
Poster!!! So desparate! A man without vision and passion in his late 30s??? He couldn't even toast you!
ReplyDeletePlease, where did you drop your dignity and common sense?
If you are that desperate to get married, you will run into very deep and troubled waters.
Advise yourself.
*desperate* (typo)
DeleteSTOP SHAMING UNMARRIED WOMEN SO THEY DON'T PUT THEMSELVES IN TROUBLE!!!
ReplyDeletePoster, i sincerely pity you. You no dey read SDK chronicles abi?
Sweetheart, now this is strictly my guiding principle, it has helped a lot of ladies but I'm in no way claiming that it's absolute. I never give financial assistance to a man I'm romantically involved with. If I want to help a guy who really needs it, romance is automatically off the table. Both are mutually exclusive. I never dated a guy who needed my money. I was raised that way.
ReplyDeleteYours is uniquely peculiar because this guy, giving you butterflies in your belly, is in his late 30s. His ways are already fixed and if he isn't used to handling responsibilities and sourcing out funds to finance "his own thing", prepare yourself for a lifetime of doing the heavy lifting. Most men like this keep getting lazier and lazier because they have a woman who hustles. Some even sponge off her and spend on their girlfriends on the side. For all you know, this dude may already have one or two ladies catering to his needs. Think about it, sis, he can't be so cavalier about his joblessness if he isn't getting support somehow.
Darling, I hope you can deal with the consequences of "shooting your shot"? The mentality of men up here is significantly different. The culture here is predominantly patriarchal, the average Nigerian man who allows a woman wear with pants in the relationship, usually has a lady by the side who allows him be the man in the relationship. Hard facts.
This relationship is new and exciting, give it time, things will be unveiled. You say now that you can't spend on a man but at the rate you are going and when he starts pushing the right buttons, you will find yourself doling out cash for your "pet project". I hope you know you can't guilt-trip a man who've supported financially and emotionally into marrying you? You made the move and he owes you nothing. He may become established tomorrow, with or without your help, and you will find out that he is in love with someone else. Yeah, this your "shy guy" will chat up a lady he fancies and put a ring on it, while you watch in disbelief. I have seen this play out time and time again. Luckily for you, though, you will always have us to read and give you e-hugs, should it go south. Please use your head and not your heart, the heart can mislead because it is rarely rational.
e-hugs and kisses.
This is a baggage you have on already. He may be a gigolo late 30s yet nothing so how did he pay for his rent. Pls pls and pls again take a walk trust me it will end in bitter tears and by then your acc is dry from love giving. Pls take a walk.
ReplyDeletehelp him if you want to, but biko I beg you remove romance from the equation.
ReplyDeleteOne day, women will stop making this excuse for men: "He's shy".
ReplyDeleteUnless a man is under some kind of spell, he knows what/who he wants and will find a way. My husband's nature is that he is very quiet, but that didn't stop him from talking to me or finding my village to do the needful. Dude located my village before I understood what was happening. I'm very sure that before then, he didn't even ask me my state of origin - not to talk of village. We talked marriage and we both knew, "Yeah, you're definitely it for me" but I'm sure I'd remember if we talked about my village before marriage. If we had, I wouldn't have been so shocked when I started getting calls from my uncle in the village. So, how or when he found out, I don't know.
That a man isn't talking at all or about a particular thing, doesn't mean he's shy. It might just not be you he's talking to cos "if it's not you, it's not you". Or it might be something he doesn't see why he should know yet or at all. That is how some men will work for SSS, CIA and MI6 at the same time, or marry someone else under your 👃 and you'll be like, "He's just shy, that's why he's not talking."
If it is penis you need from this guy, just be collecting it and have your peace. Invest in leaving Nigeria and not spending on a broke ass. The man cant take charge of anything and he is almost 40. no job, no kids, no woman, no plan. God give me a sign, God has given you a fucking billboard with neon lights. Invest in Canada, Germany, etc. I repeat, just be collecting the penis until your PR is out
ReplyDeleteMy dear, posters here have said a mouth full. I am always the one on the comment section preaching hypergamy,n preaching about dating only men who are providers, pursuers (even if "shy") and never spending or building with a man. So I'm glad women on here are on board for the most part.
ReplyDeleteSis, there is no SHY men when it comes to toasting a woman he really wants. a man sees you and does nothing to pursue you? then most likely he is not into you n doesn't see you as his spec even before you had a chance to open your mouth. sorry to say he is not interested or available. if he wants you on the other hand, his natural male instincts will be at war with him to go after you.
Now, will he stay to reap benefits (sex, money, food) from you while he builds himself up to marry the woman of his dreams? you bet! Opportunists is what men are honey. They don't even need to be in love to propose to/marry a woman in order to reap benefits for a short time and divorce when woman of his dreams surfaces. that's the bitter truth and it's rarely discussed.
Chai! I've never felt this good about reading comments here...with one voice, don't ever give man money in the name of love. ZaraMark.
ReplyDelete