Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Friday, March 20, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmm......








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SIBLING ISH



Hello Stella and hope you are doing good?

I am Miracle, a man of 35 years and I have a question. How do you stop interacting with your blood brother? How do you cut all ties? This is someone you went through a lot together since teenagers when father dad and your mother had to take care of five children. If not for mother I would treat him the way I treat strangers who threaten my peace.



I am the fourth born of five children while he is the third. We are three boys and two girls. When it was time to take jamb form my mother told me to be patient considering she was the only one shouldering our responsibilities. She said I needed to wait till our firstborn got admission and she did after writing jamb a few times. Then I had to wait till the second and the third got admission. 




All this happened till I was 27 which was the first time I wrote jamb for I had to wait till they all passed and got admitted first into the university before I could dream of sitting for jamb exam. We suffered while growing up with dad now imagine when he was no longer with us. So I promised to excel and be a focused young man.

This my elder brother who was just a year older than I am entered before me and I got admission the next year into the same school. It was agreed we picked the same school so we would have to bother about extra fees like house rent and feeding for we will be living together and managing.

Now the thing is the apartment he lived in was given to him by the son of a rich man in my big brother's church, it was a three-bedroom apartment well furnished by the guys dad who wanted his son to be comfortable while studying, however, he was lucky to get admitted to a school abroad so he left and gave us the apartment for free. The dad already paid 3 years in advance and the guy who travelled only lived a year with my brother in the house so he still had extra 2 years of free accommodation left.

It was in the second year I joined my brother and I saw him for whom he really was and still is.

Considering the background we came from you would expect he would be serious but it was the contrary. When I got there a girl was already cohabiting with him. I guess seeing he lived in a well-furnished apartment she couldn't wait to put all her burden on him.


I wouldn't have bothered if he was the only one being affected but the thing is, at that point our Mother was getting tired she had to do odd jobs to send us to school so it was expected we let her relax and try our little at the time to take care of her. After all, we were part-time students and we had little money to support and take the load off her.


MISSING TEXT HERE




But he was paying her school fees, feeding her and living couples life while lying that our dad was an offshore worker. I would be the one to assist mother and buy her drugs foodstuffs and give her money for upkeep. That wasn't the only issue but I fed him and the girl too. When I cook with the intention to eat the leftovers the next day I would realise it's gone. Since he was feeding them both he was always broke and comes to take my money and provisions that I was managing. 



The girl used electricity anyhow and our meter reads excessively which I end up paying for what I didn't use for I am always at the library most times. The girl left to another school and immediately he got a new girl. Mind you at this point he was in huge debts because of her. So I had to step in and pay his school fees from my own fees and I lost out on a semester. As if that wasn't enough to repay me he brought in another girl within a few weeks and this one saw the house and thought we were well to do. She got pregnant immediately and moved in with us with her two younger siblings a boy and a girl.


Since it was a three-bedroom apartment she gave the third rooms to her sister while her younger brother slept in the living room. This was when I was starting to become averse to my brother without realising it. I am a very quiet person who doesn't like crowds and extremely private. But the people he brought were opposites. 



They played music that I couldn't read nor sleep, used electricity anyhow they liked, are the food I was managing, invite many friends over jesting and laughing out loud. Phew! I thought I was going to go crazy. Funniest thing I started feeding them all because his power couldn't contain them. He is the kind of person who believes no matter what situation you find yourself in your sibling must always have your back. God knows I tried and I was disliking him without even realising it. He would come to tell me his girlfriend is hungry... this and that. Excessive Complaints every day. Like I was the one who put him in that situation. 


I lost weight and stopped performing well at school that one of my lecturers called me to ask what was wrong. Considering that you can never see me have below 95 out of 100. But I was then having 40/100. But I managed to have a GPA of 5.0 in my first and second year though I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I just couldn't understand why he would put us in that situation. 


I am a man too and didn't believe in having a girlfriend till you have a good shoulder on your head. My books were my girlfriends and I wondered why he couldn't do the same. I was upset because that wasn't the right time for that. we have suffered and I expected him to be focused and do things at the right time.


She gave birth to TWINSSSSS. Yes, twins and the hospital bills he used his school fees again( mind you our elder ones were supporting with the little they could) I started helping out. I used my feeding money to buy clothes and baby food. then I knew no sleep anymore at night and no studying. 



Stella, my grade dropped. I thought I would graduate with a first-class but my brother said no way. Now the house rent was due for it was three years the former tenant our church friend paid for so it was left to is to pay. We rallied around and God came through but because he just delivered he said he needed to do a naming ceremony for his children. And he used half of the house rent money and part of his school fees. 


I wouldn't have had a problem with that but whenever that happens he ends up coming to meet me. I could no longer eat, sleep, study, all our money went to the girl and her family. Yes, he was also taking care of her younger ones living with us. These people have parents but they didn't care. So I had to miss another semester because he told me how would I be paying my school fees when his kid is starving.


 If they were my kids would I go to school and lay knowing fully well they were starving. He fought me verbally and nonverbally. He kept malice for long. One day he barged into my room and said his girlfriend and children are hungry. 


You could see he wanted to fight so I packed the money and gave him for peace to reign. It was like he didn't want me to have life because he was in debt.


I couldn't do anything with the little money I had, he was always watching me. If I had 200 naira I couldn't buy credit, his mood would change except he doesn't know. He even told me once" what are you doing with the money, you don't have any responsibilities" In all these, I still tried and made sure our mama monthly allowance wasn't stopped.



One more Thing I forgot to add Stella.


 I bought a small car for mama for business. Got her a driver for the car who pays her weekly he got to know about it and asks mama to give him the car while so he can sell it and venture into a different kind of business. I told her to refuse which she did and he has been a pain lately. If he was reliable I wouldn't mind but I know if she tried that he won't do anything with that money and won't support mama financially.Must you talk to your siblings simply because you are related by blood? I need answers. Thanks.




*Hmmmm this is serious!!!

you need to stand up like a man..Blood does not only mean someone born of the same parents,blood also means someone who has your good at heart...Please if you are still there,move out of that house and go and find yourself that you lost playing good two shoes to your brother....I am so pissed at his entitlement mentality behaviour...WTF

92 comments:

  1. MOVE out today without delay. That man is NOT your brother. PLEASE do not feel an iota of guilt. PUT YOURSELF FIRST!! Yes I am shouting. You need your degree (first class hopefully) to build a better future. He taken taken your money, time, peace and he will take your future. RUUUUUUN!!! and don't look back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster,I think you were the one who enabled him,assuming he was forthcoming with help to your mom or his girlfriend and children, it wouldn't be an issue helping out but your brother needs to be left alone to fend for himself afterall, he is a father now and a community helper.
      MOVE!MOVE!MOVE for sanity sake and for peace of mind,MOVE.
      You need to be sound and healthy to be able to continue to help your mom,if not,if you die,that your brother will leave your mom stranded.

      Delete
    2. Move and don't let your brother know your whereabouts.

      Delete
    3. Yes ooo , he did enable his brother. Imagine the arant nonsense 😏. You are even making money and you chose to remain there instead of renting a room and parlor and have your peace. I have no sympathy words for you cause you had 2 options and you made a choice. At 27, you are no longer a teenager but a full body MAN. You chose to dress your bed like that, please lay on it until you decide to wake up.

      Delete
    4. Bia poster, its like you are mad o... So you have money for car and you dint use the money to rent your own place?
      What rubbish, its like poverty is your best friend.
      As a student, where do you even get money to feed a whole family of seven, including your mother.
      GET OUT of that house (yes, I am shouting) is it by force to suffer. Hei God

      Delete
  2. Move out,
    Move out
    Move out
    Move out.

    Make sure you don't tell him. Just move. If he comes for you tell him you are not responsible for his family. He is.

    Start your own life afresh and face front. He will survive and he will adjust.

    Maybe if you leave he will reality will dawn on him and he will take dressing.

    And pls stop giving him money. You are not his father.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster am sorry to say but you are not a serious person. So you can afford to feed your brainless brother, his kids and his girlfriend with her entire family but you cant move out of that yeye house? Keep catering for them o you hear? Onyeoma CY. See how upset I am over this matter!

      Delete
    2. Could this be true? In all, you haven't confronted him for once. This your gentility is soooo annoying. God will continue to strengthen you.

      Delete
    3. I feel you like the way the house was 'setup' that is why you haven't moved. There is a comfort or pride that house gives you, that you have refused to move out. Imagine losing a semester and peace if mind, yet you chose to stay. The answer to your predicament is glaring, you need to move out of that place without your brother knowing.

      Delete
    4. See me smiling.. Its been long I hear that "take dressing". Brings back old memories.

      Delete
    5. Asin eh u just said half of my mind

      Delete
  3. Naa, your brother is a user, and a lazy one at that. You man up, do not help to your own detriment, be wise, anybody wey wan vex, make e vex. This life is once, all man should hustle for himself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella u suppose give this poster that your E slap! He needs it to reset his brain because it's like he's been jazzed. WTF!

      Delete
    2. Poster, YOU DON'T HAVE SENSE!!!
      End of rant...

      Delete
  4. Dear poster, pls leave the house for him. Rent an apartment you can afford far from him. Your sanity is important oh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just feel like yelling,no,ooooo,this is too much for only you to bear,and you never stood up to tell him straight up,please stay away from him and all his troubles,I learnt a lot from my hubby's experience,no matter what u do for that your brother,he will never be satisfied,and he won't allow you have peace in your home when get married,is time for you to move on,I relate with few of my siblings and is best for me.

      Delete
  5. Poster pls move out of the house and rent a place elsewhere.face your studies and totally ignore him for now

    ReplyDelete
  6. My friend, how are you? Please try check your B.P regularly; like twice a week, its free in the pharmacy..

    Hope you don't have headaches or feel stressed out.. Sorry ehn its not easy.

    Since you have been coping, continue to cope ehn till you finish from school.
    Try and build your G.P, read well and don't be distracted. You are in Year what? Before you know it, you Don graduate.

    Seems you are doing well financially too.. God will see you through.

    When you go for NYSC now, it will be things of the past..
    Pray for wisdom too.. You will not be disappointed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go for NYSC at age 35 already and with part time program? Ola, to you now, you don advise him abi?




      *Larry was here*

      Delete
    2. Ola, he's not going for any NYSC, he's 35yrs old. He'd use that time to nurse the next set of twins his brother will have...

      Delete
    3. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Mama Mia lemme abeg

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Brother in your write-up, you never stated that you approached your brother on the wrong things you were doing and tell him the truth instead you kept cleaning after him and make it look like it was alright..Your grades fell because you allowed it to happen..When you saw his irresponsible attitude, why did you tell him to own up to his responsibilities and kept shouldering everything up...Blood brothers tell each other the truth and don't do stuff and grumble..Did you tell your mummy about your brother living da viva loca? My dear you did not play your part well as a good brother as this is something that you should have reported to your mum...

    Please live your life, because he is your blood brother does not mean he must behave same way like you...Leave that house and find your crib and begin your own life...Pick up your pieces and move on..You choose to pay for him and that is why he has that disgusting attitude..If you had told him from day one, it wont be like this...Purge your mind cause you are holding a grudge that will do you no good and there is no unity amongst yourselves as siblings! Please work on that...All the best..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I Get Una Time.20 March 2020 at 15:31

      Phoenix your advice is condescending. See you asking a 35 years old man if he told mummy. Do you think he is a kid because he is asking for advice? Na wa oo😳

      Poster I won't insult you for not calling your brother and advising him because I saw "SOME TEXT MISSING" up there. So I believe you tried your best at some point to speak to him in a brotherly way but that part of the story probably got missing when you sent your story to stella.

      Anyways if you entered university at 27 and now 35. It means it has been eight years you both lived together. So I believe you have done your masters and currently running your Phd in the same school but still living together with a 36 years old man whom you are feeding together with his family😳😳😳. So biko run away from there and get a better place.

      You got your mother a car which means you are already working so you do not need to be around him. I see you have a bugger prospect please don't let him truncate your destiny simply because you are related. Move out.

      Delete
    2. It is not condescending Madam..You have an issue with your brother why not share with her mother so it is sorted out..Its family remember..

      Delete
    3. Move to a secret location then send him a link to this post

      Delete
  9. The best solution is for you to get another apartment, a small one and relocate but don't let him know your new house o. So that he won't cone there at will and bother you. Leave the house Asap.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Please leave that house, I beg you in the name of Jesus. Leave and build yourself up through studies, work and business. Leave and succeed, so you can truly be the blessing you are called to me. Never allow someone to truncate your destiny like this again. It is good your name is miracle, see God turn your life around like a miracle, after you leave that place.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Guy you really tried. I would advice you stop indulging your brother. You gave him so much and that is why he misbehave.

    Now do every man for himself. Stop playing the fool. Have your heart locked up on matters concerning him.

    Since he can give girl belle, he can take care of then.

    Please wash your hands off him

    ReplyDelete
  12. I no understand this kind of chronicle

    ReplyDelete
  13. Joyously Joyful20 March 2020 at 15:19

    What a brother!

    My advice to you will be to move out of that house ASAP. The reason why he keeps behaving that way is because he knows there's someone he can always come to ask for anything who will oblige him. The problem with such people is that they will never stop and whatever you do for them will never be enough.

    So for your sanity and grade sake, move out asap. You can even squart with friends for a while till you are able to raise money for your own accommodation.

    It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your brother is a manipulative Ass.
    Sadly you let him ride you for too long, he knows you are weak.
    You must learn to say NO sometimes, its okay to be selfish for our own good sometimes and its also okay to look out for yourself first.
    Build your mind else you'd drown in that which you started out of love.
    I read this with so much anger, not for your brother but for you.
    Why so weak, why? Better start standing up for yourself before you get to 45 and realize you've practically lived your life for your brother.

    Yes, we can cut off siblings. When my elder sis threatened the peace of our older one. That one wasted no time in letting her go and creating the space between them. Now that one knows her place and dare not act anyhow. Na wisdom we dey use follow family members. Else........

    ReplyDelete
  15. Stella has given you the best advice,move out of the house as fast as you can he is a locust that will eat you dry very soon. I am female I have a younger sister that I am 10yrs older than and every one in my family knows that I am a very compassionate person infact, it's affecting me I want to be hard just as this my sister. If I start to say all she has been doing to me when it comes to money eh!! We won't leave here today but still I find myself doing more even when it is glaring to all and sundry that she doesn't worth my penny. This is someone that recently my fiance gave me 500 for my business and I gave her 100,opened a makeup studio for her late last year when I collected ajo money,and yet when it comes to her buying a 10# stuff me will not but give it to her friends who can't lend her 10k!!! I told her yesterday that my Mumu button in her hand will soon got lost she laughed and said God forbid,I just shake my head and smile because truth of the matter is that I am TIRED of been taking for granted

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shook your head and smiled

      Why do we enslave ourselves to people who don't value us

      Why?

      Cut her offffff

      It isn't love when you don't allow people stand

      Patents inclusive

      Stop ruining your children by doing EVERYTHING for them

      You raise / encourage UNGRATEFUL/ENTITLED/SPOILT CHILDREN & ADULTS!

      Delete
  16. This sibling of yours is very irresponsible. To think he is older than you, I expected more from him.
    You have your own life to live, keep living it and do what makes you happy.
    Since your brother won’t let you have peace, stop talking to him. You have practically lived your life and given up a lot for him, still he just can’t grow up and act like a man.
    Do not go out of your way to help him. If you have too much, you can share but depriving yourself just for him to be okay, stop that.
    Funnily enough, this sibling of yours would never lift a pin for you, don’t kid yourself.
    Now your sibling is already jealous of you, be careful. YES be very very careful, he could harm you. Try and monitor your mum and the car so he doesn’t sell it off, he can do that.
    You both were sent to school to learn, he chose a different path. Instead of hustling to assist your mum, he kept lying to those little girls that your dad worked offshore.
    You are a good man with a good heart. Don’t allow your brother use you like that anymore.
    Give him some space, and whatever good plans you have concerning your future, do not tell him, he will never wish you well....he is an enemy.
    Whatever properties you intend buying later on, maybe for your mum, put it all in your name.
    This one will go extra length to sell them.
    Whatever you do for your mum, tell her not to mention it to your brother.
    What a sibling!!!!! Lazy irresponsible human.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So poster, wake up before he ruined you and be the first to bad mouth you about

    ReplyDelete
  18. chei what did i just read! Poster i'm angry on your behalf. Since you had little money you should have left that furnished house since and get even if it's one room for your sanity. As for your Ewu Gambia brother yes! That's what he behaves like cut him off before he drains completely and you loose your mind. Let him be your brother from afar untill he learns life lessons

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear poster, pls get out of that house now, u are on a long road down, dragged by ur stupidly entitled bro. Trust me even if u give him ur left kidney, he would still feel u haven't done enough. Move out pls, a single room is fine, so u can have ur peace and quiet. My God! Ur bro is terrible, there's no rule that states u ve to be in communicado with ur blood, especially such toxic one. Get out before its too late, just cause he knows u are soft hearted, he's taking u for granted. How dare u gave him ur schhol fees? When he himself got himself into such predicament?? U helping him is even making it worse, cos u are encouraging him. If u had told of ur bro and stopped helping from the Beginning, it won't ve gotten to this extent. Am so so pissed at his level of greed, wickedness, emotional blackmail.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ghost that fool.
    Move out of the house and leave him there, that's the best thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am telling you. What kind of a sibling is this?

      Delete
  21. For how long do you want to keep shouldering his responsibilities...my advice move out,get a small place of your own or stay with friends till you get your own place...it doesnt mean you cant help him out once in a while,but you didnt come to this life to serve him.

    ReplyDelete
  22. this is the story of the prodigal son! Luke 15:11
    If you wrote this chronicle before buying that "small car," I would have advised you to find a one room and rent and pay your fees/graduate first.
    Let him sort out his libido and fake life.
    But now, please, if you find a person to squat you, vanish from that house and re-discover your sanity and rhythm. 😮😮😮

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sort out his libido? Your mouth though?

      @AGELESS

      Delete
    2. Yes

      Since his libido thinks for him
      Foolish man child
      Impregnating a girl while in school?

      Delete
  23. Bros they feed your brother and dnt face your own life! Your brother own don better e don born. U better face your life. See your age. You go train your brother family till you go old. Pele ooo brother.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I don't normally post on Stella, but Mr Man you have to move out of that house and cut ties with yourbrother ,if possible dont even let your mum see you,just be sending money to her and leave your brother alone. My family is similar,you have to come first,your brother is useless and would never change,it because he knows u would keep looking out for him he is doing nonsense.get out ,cut all ties and work hard to better yourself. I am so pissed,you would have graduated with a first class,come on! family is not by blood,it's those who are there for you

    ReplyDelete
  25. He knew how you guys grew up with nothing, get chose to live like a king. Cut him off already. These kinds of people will drain you till you loose your identity.

    ReplyDelete
  26. He knew how you guys grew up with nothing, get chose to live like a king. Cut him off already. These kinds of people will drain you till you loose your identity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will so drain him, he won’t even remember to live his own life. You see that sibling of his, he can go xtra mile to make sure his brother doesn’t get married or have kids. Cos he knows once his brother settles down, he won’t have time for them anymore. Very very selfish brother.
      Poster, move out and stop letting your brother know stuff about you.

      Delete
  27. You obviously have a good job by now since it has been 8 years you entered the university or are you running your masters program at the moment for you to still be in school after 8 years?
    Yes, you said you only missed one year due to helping him with your school fees? That's 5 years in total so what happened with the remaining 3 years extra? Was it for another degree because you seemed so responsible and focused so it's believable you have done your masters and working at the moment. After all, You got your mother a car then it means you already have a good job so please go and stay alone. I believe the reason you are living together with him is because you want to help him from your write up it's obvious You don't need his help at all. stop babying him let. Let him be a man.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Just move out of that squat hole if you can ASAP .
    Have you graduated or spilling over at school? How did you get money to buy car and pay driver for your mum? First, let your mum know he has twins and girlfriend family living with him. There's no need keeping such secret in the name of good brother. You're aiding and supportive of evil vices.
    Bros, I hope your hands are clean here? What an entitled selfish brother you have.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster, move out and never look back.like Stella said, blood is not only biological . Please go find yourself and excel. God be with you

    ReplyDelete
  30. Stay clear off that evil brother of yours ...he's living his life and probably fufilling destiny..you will have yourself to blame if you allow him interrupt your own progress..leave that house and avoid him like corona virus..

    ReplyDelete
  31. @Poster MOVE OUT ALREADY.

    I could understand why you stayed to financially carry the unnecessary burden of your brother and his first girlfriend but why did you not leave when the 2nd girlfriend moved in with her siblings and rent has expired? You owe him no explanation as to how you spent your cash since he has failed to be responsible. I'm actually pissed reading this your story.

    Nah wah oo

    ReplyDelete
  32. You want to wait till she births triplets next? Your brother will be the death of you, yes! And he won't mourn or take you seriously because you do not take yourself seriously.

    You do not owe your brother nothing... Get a grip on yourself, man up and move out for your sanity sake. You're 35 already do you not want a family too?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Pls run away from that your brother and his liabilities,at 35 you should be living on your own not cohabitating with your brother and his wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually they are the ones cohabiting with him since he is the one paying the rent, feeding and clothing them all.

      Delete
  34. Question: Poster, are you involved in internet scams or other shady businesses? If yes, that is why your brother is blackmailing you. If your hands are free of those vices, the landslide advice here is: Move out and move on with your own life as you ate also now ripe to start your own family

    ReplyDelete
  35. Bros I understand he is your brother and since you had just your mom you feel the need to stick together but you cant keep going like this you are close to 40 you need to start building for yourself. Now the rent has just been paid quietly move out before things get worse

    ReplyDelete
  36. I LOL when I got to here he used part of the house rent for naming ceremony. When he could have just invited d pastor over. Pls move out and start your own life/family.

    ReplyDelete
  37. You're really gentle but you need to be firm some times.

    Your brother knows you're a weak person that's why he's really dealing with you.

    Be a man for once and challenge him. Talk to him boldly. For once, tell him No. Heavens won't fall.

    You can still assist him because of the twins but not under pressure.

    It would be alot better if you can move out and stay on your own without him knowing your house address.

    Keep taking care of your mother but take your stand as a man. You're too weak.

    ReplyDelete
  38. You're really gentle but you need to be firm some times.

    Your brother knows you're a weak person that's why he's really dealing with you.

    Be a man for once and challenge him. Talk to him boldly. For once, tell him No. Heavens won't fall.

    You can still assist him because of the twins but not under pressure.

    It would be alot better if you can move out and stay on your own without him knowing your house address.

    Keep taking care of your mother but take your stand as a man. You're too weak.

    ReplyDelete
  39. *very shameless OR shameful act*

    ReplyDelete
  40. My friend, MOVE OUT OF THAT HOUSE!!!

    Get your own place and cut that ***** off. You owe him NOTHING

    It's like you don't like your life. That brother can kill you. Dey there dey do "my brother"

    ReplyDelete
  41. Move out. Then send him a monthly allowance YOU CAN AFFORD. This is because, no one knows tomorrow. The table can turn.Besides kids are involved.

    @AGELESS T

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't even listen to this advice.😡
      Send a grown man monthly allowance! Indeed.

      Delete
    2. @Makebi, life is funny my dear. I still maintain my stand, he should give him monthly allowance, or buys baby food he CAN AFFORD. He should pass it through his mom or another sibling or even give to the baby Mama as witnesses. ONLY for the sake of the kids. Then distant himself.

      This kind of brother can kidnap or even kill you for vain reason.

      @AGELESS T

      Delete
  42. Dear Poster, you know why you are in this pot of beans? Because you are living with them! As a matter of fact, it seems you are a squatter (even though you are the one running the house) because he was there before you.

    Get up and leave!

    When you do, you will find it easier to distance yourself from him and his problems. There will be no room to ‘barge into’ neither will there be any body ready to fight you because of money. Living with them makes him aware of your financial capabilities.
    You dont need any pity neither do you need to pity yourself; you should be angry. I don’t think you are busy enough with thoughts about your own future. You have postponed a lot of things just so your family can get on it’s feet. Is this the rubbish you ought to saddle yourself with?! You better love yourself! Love yourself more than you want to be appreciated. Your brother will not get better, until he is ready - he will be ready when there is absolutely no one to turn to.
    Don’t sit to have a heart to heart anything, don’t send him a message, don’t call a family meeting, just get up and leave. And promise yourself to only give out your money for things that are your responsibility! You seem quite industrious, so getting money for a room should not be too hard.

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  43. I am so angry and I feel like slapping sense into your brother's head. How can a man be this careless?? I think u should look for a place and start staying alone, stay far away from him! People like these are ingrates and they wouldn't mind hurting u despite all you've done for them. Stay safe!

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  44. Dear bro, I shook my head in bewilderment as I read through your narrative. It's funny, though devoid of hilarity, that you can't seem to see what is right under your nose. Even if we tell you how to sever the link between you and your brother, you still wouldn't be able to go through with it. You have, inadvertently, enabled his bad behaviour for so long that it's now like a reflex action for you, you can't seem to help yourself. Even when you ought to have hit rock bottom, you crack the bottom and keep digging yourself in, deeper. It's utterly sad, to be honest.

    There's no way your brother would get his act together with you around, why would he? You're a pushover, so easily manipulated by him and he knows that and milks it for all its worth. You never stood up to him once, his indiscretions seemed rewarded, you were always there to clean up his mess. It's a logical conclusion that he would take undue advantage of your altruistic nature, which is rather atrocious of him.

    Dear bro, you have to learn when to say when. I'm all for family being ride or die but not at one's detriment. Your grades have tanked, you're all dried out and still running on empty. God forbids you have a mental or emotional breakdown, who then will take care of you? How do you think your mom would feel?

    Naahh! It's time to get selfish because you have done way more than you ought to have done in the first place. The number one move would be the move out of that "trap" you call a home. Without a decent distance in proximity, you will fall back into the unhealthy routine. Get a place of your own and focus on your own life. Try to get your head and your mind right. Know that it is okay and sometimes healthy to say "NO" every now and then. Try baby steps, I doubt you can go cold Turkey. Start reducing the rate at which you normally help him out. Give a little, withhold more. Get use to the feeling of saying "NO". With time, you will learn how to be tough and strong willed. If not that I know you aren't genuinely ready and it would be unfair to any lady, maybe having a girlfriend will give you the much needed paradigm shift. Maybe if you had someone distracting you, you would man-up and fight back the pressure from your brother. However, please don't date until you are ready emotionally, psychologically and financially. I hope you have the fortitude to break this viciously unhealthy cycle. Good luck!
    e-hugs.

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  45. It is on this same platform people were debating on naija entitlement mentality! Some were for, some against, you see how this poor man has carried his brother's burden and responsibilities without looking after himself. Nigerians onye meduru unu ihia? What the hell is this selfish entitled mentality that is so rampant in that country. I am so just full of rage reading this Chronicles. Poster cut all communications and damn the consequences.

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  46. THAT YOUR BROTHER IS VERY STUPID, INFACT HE'S THE MOST STUPID PERSON ON THIS PLANET EARTH. BETTER MOVE OUT OF THAT HOUSE BEFORE HE KILLS YOU. WHAT'S ALL THIS NONSENSE! CAN'T HE CARTER FOR HIS FAMILY? SHAME UNTO THE WOMAN, RELYING ON A MAN FOR EVERYTHING, SHAME. THE WHOLE EPISTLE IS JUST ANNOYING ABEG....BYE

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  47. Your brother is not the problem. You are. You don't have defined boundaries and so people walk over doormats.

    The rent expired at some point yet, you didn't move out. This is despite the fact that you were feeding not only yourself but other appendages. When Mama ejima asks you about your dad, why don't you tell her he is dead? You've been living with them long enough for them to ask why their father in law didn't attend the children's christening. The girl would have been wondering why no big SUVs have visited her father's flat to ask for hand in marriage. You went along with it as an unwilling accomplice so accept your fate or change your destiny.

    Move out and cut off all contact. Learn to say NO without qualifying it with explanation or pleas. Just say no with your mouth and stick by it- to this brother or your mother when he begins to manipulate her into manipulating you. Pursue to your own goals and wish him well. Be an uncle from a distance. Whatever your brother decides to do, you are not responsible for training his children. If you don't wean him off your pocket, your wife will be sending in chronicles of how she can ghost her lily livered husband. It's not your responsibility to feed any other person's wife and kids or to pay their rent. If he needs a job, you can get help get him one away from you and where your image would not be smeared should things go wrong. Explain to your mother that if your brother gets the car in anyway, you would not be replacing it or the money she realises from it. That you have done your duty as a son and it is her job to protect you as a mother. Whatever you get for her going forward, buy them in your name so you can get them back after her passing.

    You are the only one who can save yourself. People can be angry for you and advise you but it is left for the horse to drink water after being led to the stream. If you enjoy being used like a rag, remember the spot for saviour of the world is already taken. Ihun taye ba so e da ni won ma fi by e bo dola. Na Wetin world people turn you to dem go use to abuse you tomorrow. This life na once. Baba ibeji will do dust to dust them find another mugu to latch into.

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    Replies
    1. All your advice are on point but stop making the girl look like a victim please. A girl in the university send to study her books with her siblings thought she saw a rich man pikin and got trapped when she decided to trap him with pregnancy. It's obvious she doesn't have a job as a student too and her siblings too are loafers. Let her keep wondering o and keep waiting for the SUV. The girl is a leech just like this posters' brother biko so shameless that she had to pack her whole family to the house of a boyfriend not even husband who was also a student because she heard "offshore worker". She started allocating rooms to her siblings because in her eyes she had seen a poverty alleviation program.

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    2. God bless you. Poster you are not any better at all..pls change your heart

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  48. Move out and let him and his girlfriend stand up to their responsibilities.

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  49. My brother you need to move out so that your brother can go out and fend for himself,if you no dey this life your brother no go survive???Please you need your own sanity back

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  50. I don't understand this kind of chronicle. With all this, you still don't know what to do until we tell you???

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  51. Very annoying chronicle.

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  52. The only advice I have for you is to MOVE OUT!
    Once in a while get them foodstuff if you can afford to buy leave that house ASAP!!!

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    Replies
    1. Ghost them completely. It's time to be selfish. You don't owe them anything!

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    2. Don't you think he has bought enough foodstuffs? After 8 years, TWINSSS, and 3 in-laws by pregnancy/ proximity, I think he has done his share as omeliora of this family. It is time he tends to himself.

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  53. First of all I must commend your family first attitude and your patient to all he did. The day he brought in a woman and couldnt take care of his responsibility is the day I will leave that house and his life. What nonsense... You had too much of it. Time to move on from him and start a personal life. Keep helping your mom and he will regret his a lazy and stupid ass man.

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  54. Na wa ohh...you enabled this terrible behavior he has seen you as a reliable crutch. He's your brother you can talk to him and advice him to get his life in order as you can't continue to support him totally. You can involve your family to support you. It would also be best if you get your place for independence and peace of mind.

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  55. As for me, family is an overrated privilege.

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  56. Poster go get your own place and block that brother of yours for some time. In the future, you can relate with him, for now, he is an enemy you must rid yourself of

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  57. He is not your problem poster, YOU ARE YOUR PROBLEM!GRAB YOURSELF BY THE KOJONES AND FUCKING MAN UP! YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING LADYBOY TO ME!

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  58. Poster, is an ENABLER, the root cause of his own predicament. You better grab your balls by the "horn", asap. Make quiet arrangements to leave that house without even hinting your brother or enemy within. Nor his concubines and other appendages. After wards,face front. Yes, face your own life squarely going fwd.

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  59. Poster you don't have much sense. I have no advice for you.

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