Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmmmm...







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
IN LAW WAHALA



I need advice,please.......matured advice.

My husband's niece (daughter of his senior brother) wants to wed. She now sent a text saying Aso ebi for children costs a particular amount which will also be sown by her that I should pay into her account for the cloth. 


The issue there is that I already have a nice dress for my children that they can wear for the occasion and that's what I want them to wear.
Though,I have a nice dress for my children which I want them to wear but I just replied her that she should send the material with the cost and I will choose my own style for them. 


The problem now is that the material might not be what I like for my children to wear. It might be this tie and dye or adire and I might not like it for my children to wear on such occasion.

We don't get along well especially since her mum (senior wife) treats and talks badly to me and even her daughter is very rude and doesn't respect (person wey i senior with over 10 years ooo)me at all because she's iya oko(as we yorubas call it) to me.

 She came to our house to pack her load recently but she never said a word about any cloth or about her wedding.


Note: I was the person that posted sometimes back in the comment section of"why most wives don't like visiting their in laws " and bv Tenth even advised I go on the wedding day and come back that day so I won't be slave to them again and that's definitely what I will do!


Pls,advice me kindly. Thanks!


*I dont understand what you need advice for,the clothe for the wedding or to attend and come back same day?
Abeg Yoruba people drama is too much,I can't be a drama queen and then marry into a dramatic family again....The Yoruba man i was supposed to marry,i am sure they would have kicked me out by now cos then they were complaining that i was not kneeling down to greet everyone or greet people i was older than,i refused...lol

You should be able to handle them since you are also yoruba or someone familiar with your situation can tell you what to do...

113 comments:

  1. It's a family function, you don't have to like it. Just get it please

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you minding her? It is obvious She has a grouse with them in her heart that is why she is making all these silly excuses not to buy it.

      Delete
    2. It's obvious she doesn't want to get it. She's just looking for people like her to support her. If you like handle the issue tactlessly, na you sabi..

      Delete
    3. I don’t see the problem here. It’s a family function. Just use whatever fabric they want and allow them see it. It’s like u don’t want peace and are looking for wahala

      Delete
    4. @poster your Chronicle is not about aso ebi but about the fact that you have never liked your very rude and 10 year younger sister-in-law.

      She's getting married now and because you don't like her or her mother, you are using the asoebi excuse to register your pent up pain and displeasure.

      The aso ebi come ugly untop..

      I think you should fight your battles personally and not drag your children into it. Children pick up vibes and your petty attitude can make them start behaving somewhat towards their cousin's and aunty...

      Just get the material for them... isn't it just about 6 or so hours that they will wear it? There is beauty in unity, unless you want your kids to be the odd ones out in the family picture... Besides if you do this your own way, it will further drive the wedge between your family and in laws... how do you think your husband will feel??

      Delete
    5. I cnt marry yoruba. I no sabi kneel

      Delete
    6. Something your kids may wear once! How bad can it be!?
      Please let go of your grievances with them and do the right it. Cost of the material is not the problem abi? Please buy it and let your kids be like the other kids, it's just for a day.

      Wisdom is profitable

      Delete
    7. Most of her kind can never be pleased. You include them in family activities they complain, you don't include them, they complain. You just shot yourself in the foot by saying you are a yoruba woman too, so it means you understand their ways of doing things so what is the purpose of this chronicle? Your kind just go into marriage with a bad mind to hate your in laws and cause confusion.

      Delete
    8. @ Shy artsy gal. At this point I don't even believe the lady getting married is rude. You can tell this poster from her write-up isn't an angel either and she is so immature. In the past She must have acted tactlessly when handling situations between them a couple of times which I believe has led to this irredeemable relationship between them. Who asks if they should buy an aso-ebi except they don't have the money which is not the issue in this case?
      Poster don't buy the cloth don't even go there you hear? You won't be missed.

      Delete
    9. Poster, since it's what all the children in the family will be wearing, just get it for them. No too much wahala abeg.

      Delete
    10. Madam poster, be reasonable here. If they say pay for asoebi, if you have the money, pay, if not explain to them. What's all these yeye excuse you are giving. I senior her, she senior me. If it's to share money una go forget una age.

      Delete
    11. Why are you all attacking her this way like she's Stella that said yorubas are troublesome?

      She's one of y'all!

      Poster, the bottom line is that you don't feel comfortable with your husband's people and how they treat you right? You equally don't want to attend their event because of how they behave right?

      Now it's not a must to attend! If the problem is not money, send her the money. On that day forge a story and just show up late and zoom off for peace sake or don't attend.

      If you won't feel comfortable with your kids wearing what came from her; get the material, pray over it and sew it yourself.

      If you have arrangements for your kids, you can still be smart. Dress them in a way they'll need jackets, ties or turbans and use the material and make those stuffs as addition to what you chose.

      When you choose to marry someone, you marry their home. You can make your war with wisdom. Don't give them reasons to find blemishes on you. I know it's not easy, but you'll be fine.

      All the best

      Delete
    12. Honestly why waste a beautiful outfit you have for someone you don't have a good rapport with? I've learnt to be very diplomatic with everyone. Ask for the asoebi to sew on your own. If she refused, then that's fine, let her sew them. Pray over it before wearing on your kids. She is going to have in-laws too, one less person to worry about.
      Observer...

      Delete
  2. It's just one day. And it's her day right? You aren't complaining about the money to buy cloth just that you don't like the cloth at all which the bride has picked. You are the one making the whole thing look like a big deal. Just lie to them and say you don't have money if you know you aren't interested in buying. Or is it because if respect issue you don't want to buy because the reason you gave isn't strong enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dramatic lady in a dramatic family, something has to give, you cant always have your way.
      Thats how my friend had to wear a shoe her hubbys aunty bought for her wedding (she already bought hers which was finer than the auntys own but couldn't wear it before it results into a family issue).
      You have to pick your battles wisely, just do what she wants, its her wedding, thank God she doesnt have to live with you anymore.

      Delete
    2. Dear Poster, clothes that you haven't seen, you have already concluded that it will not be something you will like for your children. Fear God. Drop your pride. Be happy and celebrate with her. This life is too short for all this nonsense. Max,let your husband do the transfers.
      Haba! Change your ways. Life is full of ups and downs. Allow peace reign.

      Delete
    3. @Pushup, i will NEVER wear what i didnt buy myself on my wedding day. With all these evil and wickedness around, mbanu

      Delete
  3. This chronicle is too short. I don't even understand. Is it the clothes that is the issue here or what? In that case just sew the clothes for the children for the wedding nah. I don't see any ish here o. You sef get your own for body abeggi

    ReplyDelete
  4. dear poster, it is her wedding and she has all the rights to say what she wants, is it not just for that day? after that you dont have to wear the clothes for ur children again now Haba, everyone will wear the same cloth your children will now look different, that will only cause more trouble and they will see you as a troublemaker, bear it in mind they will always continue to refer to that incident later in the future , just adhere to what she wants, u can dispose of the clothes later after its worn, you have a nice cloth for ur children to wear on that day, is it your children that is getting married?

    ReplyDelete
  5. My mom is a Yoruba woman, very nice and humble but I can never marry a Yoruba man...all this iya oko,baba oko,anty oko, uncle oko,be slaving for them,I can't do it,the funny thing is that mother in-law always support their sons even when they are wrong...I know some may be good but just few..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kindly Read again the poster is the one with the issue here.

      Delete
    2. Me too I cnt oo. But poster your story no follow.

      Delete
    3. This poster has gone ahead to marry a Yoruba man. How does this comment help her current situation? Should she divorce the man and kill all her children because of adire or Kampala?

      Delete
    4. @mrs Sharon, how does you're comment help the poster? I don't know why everything must be about tribe

      Delete
    5. Lol.. funny comments. For peace sake just buy n sew the clothes for your children. After the occasion dash the clothes out

      Delete
    6. Nonsense talk,who want u sef

      Delete
  6. If you have the money please buy and let your kids wear it on the wedding day.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Orishirishi, Next patient pls?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi o.
      The title of this post should ha e been "A PETTY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW". or "DAUGHTER-IN-LAW WAHALA".

      Delete
  8. No stella this poster sound troublesome. Aso ebi or bridal train dress is not by choice most times. Just this once let it slide. Send money and let your kids celebrate with their cousin abi aunt. Don't make it such a biggie except you guys have unsettled palaver sha. But it's her wedding.......

    And you making it such a biggie about age, 10 years older or not.....live and let's live.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in serious trouble maker oh

      Delete
    2. There is really no problem here ,
      It is a family function, whether your children would wear it or not shouldn't be the bone of contention, if you can afford it why not just buy it .
      Somethings are not worth the stress learn to value your peace.

      Delete
    3. She is a trouble maker biko.

      Delete
    4. @Noir that peace is the koko oo. Life is too short. Better to leave some fights and irrelevant matters.

      Delete
  9. If you have the money please buy and let your kids wear it on the wedding day.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poster why not just follow what she says and wear your children what she wants them to wear because it is just a day thing, after the ceremony you can discard the dress.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You have what your kids are going to wear already.... Na wa oo
    Are you going to the wedding to ise your kids pepper people?
    Why can't you just let the sleeping dog lie?
    Just buy the clothes let your kids wear them and stop creating unnecessary drama....abi are they doing the wedding everyday?
    Just for your kids to put on for just a single day dress you are trying to make a big deal out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Poster, it's just for a day, to avoid side talks, collect the clothe and sew for your children. Your nice clothe can be worn on another occasion.

    I don't understand the part of sewing the clothes for the children herself.

    Biko choose the tailor yourself. Inukwam!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. At times like this, you need a lot of wisdom. I don't know how close you are to your husband but I believe that you should carry him along and make decisions together. He should be able to protect you from in-law wahala.
    Moreover, it's just one day they'll be wearing the clothes. It's not as if you can't afford it. I believe there's more to this story and it also seems to me that you are class conscious hence you may not like the material. It's like you're part of the problem and you also love drama
    Good luck to you

    ReplyDelete
  14. Why are the Yoruba people so full of drama in the relationship with in-laws?
    This one is not a junior winch case o.๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    This asoebi stuff need to be banned kpata kpata. Why persin go force me to pay into her account for clothes...meaning whatever she says is the price it is, even if na fake and inflated costs eh? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    Abeg, make ndi uta no get me wrong o. Every tribe get them wahala. Me I copy the good ones and leave those ones like look like ndi uta's arrows and this
    is one of them.
    Sisi, poster, my question be this?
    Before you marry this ya oga on top,
    you sure knew that this is one of the things to contend with, don't you?
    Ajuju o.
    Another ajuju be this -must your kids attend the wedding?
    For me, when It comes to trouble, I go just pay that money into her account and tell her to keep it, say
    my pikins them no go fit attend the wedding, case closed!
    ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You better not take this advice if u know what is good for u poster.

      Delete
    2. You're not making sense today. Yes, I mean it.

      Delete
    3. This is it Poster... for the sake of peace, pay the money and let them make the clothes. It's just for 1 day try to bear with them...this can't be easy though.

      Delete
    4. @Don onye uta ๐Ÿ˜Š
      Whether I make sense or make salad, you go shoot your uta as usual.
      Shooting uta is the air you breathe. Any you don't shoot uta (at my smooth...)
      you go sick okwa ya?
      ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    5. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
      I'm sure your yansh can't be smooth again.

      Delete
    6. Madam ANG, your advice will only cause more trouble. We be yorubas oh! How will you tell your in-laws to keep the clothes that your children will not be attending. Haba. And you're part of the family. No! No! No!!! Na wahala you dey find. Even if you will not be in the country you will explain to the bride's mother with respect how you wish you could attend. You will also ensure your presence is felt. You will keep calling to check up on preparations and ask if your help will be needed in anything. That girl is like a daughter to her.

      To the Yorubas, 'ajo' is everything. It doesn't mean eye service, but giving regards to everyone just to make them feel special. It will cost you nothing.

      Delete
  15. Sis, is it compulsory you go to the party with your children? Methinks you shouldn't. Leave your children at home, go to the party & return home using them as excuse.
    Why will she pick a cloth & still insist she'll be the one to sew it?
    How about you politely decline?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg, it's not a big deal if she can afford it. Why do we like to stress ourselves like this? Poster you like wahala. You really don't have to like the material. It's not your wedding. Buy the clothes for your children so they won't look odd. It's just a day event. You don't like your peace of mind in my opinion.

      Delete
  16. madam, just send her the money for the Aso ebi and allow her sew it. shebi its just for a day? after the wedding, you can give someone else if you dnt like the Material she used! shekina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi oh. Shikena! ! The headline of this chronicle should have been daughter inlaw palava

      Delete
  17. Sometimes sister in laws are the problem. You are the one with the problem here poster. You have not even seen the dress you are already assuming and have made up your mind you won't like it without waiting to get the dress first before jumping into conclusion even without seeing that dress you have already written it off. You seem to be the trouble-maker here. They already suspect from the way you were interacting with them that you seem not interested in the dress maybe that's why she came and didn't bother you about it anymore not did she feel the need to talk with you about her wedding.
    As the mature lady and older one you claim to be with over 10 years in age difference, you should have ignored her silence and showed enthusiasm by asking how far they have gone with the plans and why she didn't bring the cloth after all that would be the last time she would probably cross path with you again till further notice considering she is now going to her husband's house.

    Go to the wedding and buy the cloth and stop making it seem like yoruba in laws are trouble makers. All tribe have their own in their bodies.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ma, not everything is worth a fight. Even if it's the tie and dye, let your children wear it to avoid more conflict. I know you want them to look their best and show out but it's kiddies asoebi so they won't be the only ones wearing it and it's just for one day.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Madam you're somehow troublesome, what will it take you to tell your husband to get the clothes for the children? Even if you don't like the material or style, can't you do it for just that day? Then after that, you can decide if you want them to continue wearing it or dispose it.

    Most people buy Aso-ebi because of the love they have for the celebrant not because they like the materials or they have essence money to waste.




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Poster shebi it is just for one day..Let them wear the clothes for the wedding and then you can dump it afterwards..Just put all the quarrels aside and maintain a cordial relationship with them..Its a happy time..Enjoy the moment..

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is not your wedding obviously she has a particular way she wants her wedding to go, if you dont like it look for an excuse as to why your children wont be able to make it simple. why would you want to insist on going a certain direction when it is not your wedding. Madam your own dey your body, Respect is reciprocal pls.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Asoebi no be by force nhaa

    ReplyDelete
  23. Honestly stella, yorubas wahala too much, if it's not this, it's that.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Just buy the clothes na. Haba. She has even agreed for u to sew your styles (you didn't mention otherwise).


    See ehn, in marriages, u need to pick ur battle wisely. You have not seen the material, you have concluded you won't like it.

    Seems you are just spoiling for a fight. It's not unusual for children in families to wear asoebi during family events, why do u want to make things difficult for yourself.


    If u had mentioned financial constraints, I'd probably be giving a different advice. Just pay for the asoebi and if u don't like the material, they can wear it on that day and u can then choose to dash them out if u like.


    It's not everything you people should turn into an issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought I was the only one who saw through her shenanigans. She hasn't seen the dress but she has already berated it. A dress picked by a lady for her special day is the one you described anyhow. I can't imagine what the lady must have gone through in your hands while living with you. You are quite petty and troublesome. a fault finder.

      People pick dresses during special days like this even friends pick dresses how much more a family member? Whether you like if or not isn't important you pick it for the person's special day to show support and that's all as long as money isn't the issue here. Most of the dresses people wear do you think they like it? Some you won't like the colour, some the material may be too cheap or expensive for your taste but you still buy to show love and support for that special day. If you like don't buy but please don't come back and complain they don't like you because the truth is.... e dey for ya body๐Ÿšถ‍♂️

      Delete
    2. Exactly. Most aso ebi dresses will buy from our fellow female friends are not our taste. I spent thousands of money and wear many just once. But my dear! U just have to support them. Stop complaining. You obviously dnt want to go. You seem like a troublemaker.

      Delete
  25. Poster, please let your children put on what you already had in mind! Attend the wedding like a guest as suggested by Tenth and please do you!
    Like I usually say, being at peace with some people can be way too expensive. So, what you should do is, return peace for peace, bullshit for bullshit.

    I personally don't do the whole aso-ebi thing. Yes I can choose to buy the fabric, but I will not wear it for the occasion...

    ReplyDelete
  26. This should not cause drama now.Of you have the money buy the asoebi.Your children can wear the material you have another day.If you don't have money don't buy.Abi ewo lejo wewe.You are just being dramatic for nothing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Most of these DILs have their own in their bodies. Big time drama queen. You aren't always right all the time, even you, yourself aren't perfect. Stop looking for trouble because even myself, I don't understand what you need advice for or are you here to just paint your inlaws bad?

      Delete
  27. You can just buy the ashoebi , the children will wear for like two hours you can then remove it and wear them the one you like. At times you overlook certain things. Ask her how much send the money carry second clothes for your children.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yoruba in-law wahala no be here. Thank God I didn't marry that Yoruba demon begging me to marry him then. They would have send my enemy away with juju bcos I can't condone their excesses or eye service way of living.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we check now, you voluntarily moves from whatever Dubai you are from to come and live among them. God help you. Better pray for the progress of the Jerusalem from where you feed your family.

      Delete
  29. Poster, do what sooths you and free them.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You haven't seen the cloth but you have concluded that it's tie and dye.
    You get your own for body
    I don't like people like you, you haven't see things but already conclude.
    Oniyeye ni e

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don don't mind her.
      I don't like her too. Wicked daughter-in-law. I am sure she was thinking we would help her insult them very well because of what we have been reading about in laws here but the truth is, most of these daughter in laws are nothing to write home about. Very wicked women.
      See how you came here to reveal your true colour.
      Change your ways and love you husband family if you want them to love you back. Stop creating unnecessary enmity for yourself. You are not a good person at all.

      Delete
    2. The way you people insult people you've never met... Many of you have inner frustrations you vent on people all in the name of advice. She may not have the right perspective on the issues but it doesn't call for calling her wicked. There's no need for name calling. She hasn't killed anyone.

      Delete
  31. I really dont see any problem here madam poster..
    Ask yourself; if it were your niece's wedding and your inlaws refused to buy your asoebi and they insist on wearing what they want, will you like it???

    Your answer is the solution....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this golden rule approach. Poster, you seem to thrive on malice and drama. This little something, you have picked up your phone to report to aunty Stella. Why didn't you marry from a better family if these things are a problem for you since you are so perfect? Even if your in-laws are problematic, you are in no way different.

      Do you think your kids will prefer to wear your special made in heaven dress or to be in the same material with their cousins? Years ago when we were burying my grandfather, my dad forgot to tell my mum that grandchildren were to appear in white on one of the days. Even though I would grow up to know that our purple lace was way more expensive than what others wore, my siblings and I were so sad to be looking different from our cousins. My Mum that hardly apologizes had to do so severally to us and even my father begged us as well that he forgot. All my cousins tried to make up with overdose of jokes and hugs but I still wish even now we had worn the uniform colour even if it was the cheapest materials. Another friend of mine has a picture of her dad's burial with one of her male cousins wearing a female dress- a boy of about 10 years! He insisted on wearing it even though the stupid tailor made the mistake and they had left Lagos. He did not want to look differently from his cousins. I hope you have not been poisoning your children's minds against their blood and extending petty family beef across generations. Let your drama and those that like to do it with you not infect these innocent ones.

      Asoebi is not about showing off your kids or self but showing a sense of belonging. Look online for what brides give their bridesmaids to wear so they are not outshone and you'll realise that it is about supporting the couple, not doing slay Mama on another person's day.

      You love the drama. We don't. If you like, don't go. BVs will attend your own children's wedding when it is their turn ok?

      Delete
    2. I think I understand where this poster is coming from. It is the disrespect that is her problem! I mean I cant spend my money on someone who disrespects me!.

      Delete
  32. In short, Stella, you don't have advice for her, lol.

    She made a mistake by asking her to send the fabric when she knew she didn't want it. So, it's too late, Just sew the kids the asoebi, Mrs Elejo wewe!

    Aso ebi is a leveler. There is nothing like you're too big to wear it. It's only for a few hours. People who know you know you can afford better but we wear it in solidarity kind of. Even oyinbos wear them. If you don't want them to wear it, it's still your choice. Don't involve us.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Just to avoid their wahala, buy the clothes and you wear it on that day only. that's all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is the one with the wahala. Why can't everyone see that?

      Delete
    2. Why should she be the one with the wahala? If she doesn't want her children to wear it nko? I don't have time for wars with anyone and I aren't close pals with my in-laws as well because my husband told me specifically to avoid wahala from the beginning and I am glad I did.

      Poster where you made a mistake was agreeing that you would choose their styles. If you didn't want them to wear the asoebi, you would have told her when she requested for the money, that you already have what they will wear. You aren't a troublemaker okay?

      Delete
    3. Why won't she want her children to wear it? What's her problem? What reason does she have to hate a cloth she hasn't even laid her eyes on? Does she even have a right to segregate her own children when other children from the family will be wearing the same cloth on that day? Isn't that stupid of her? What does she stand to gain by acting differently on her in-laws day?

      Poster, I wonder what you must have wrote for bv tenth to have supported you because this nonsense you wrote up there doesn't make sense at all.

      You don't want to help out so you won't turn into a slave, you don't want to buy cloth because you know it won't be fine. You know what?? Just stay at home.

      Delete
  34. Poster if you have the money, just buy the asoebi and let your kids wear them. Are they going for a fashion show or are they gonna a live in the material.

    You hate what you haven't seen becuase you just don't like the girl. Just buy it go and come back the same day. Stay on your lane.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Dealing with in-laws within the Nigerian culture can be tasking but sometimes we need to apply diplomacy. Marriage requires compromises sometimes and this situation could be one of such. In this case which is a family wedding and your children part of the family, I will advise you to go with her plan and just let it slide..She will only wed once. It won't take anything from you and will also be showing maturity from you. On the issue of going and coming the same day, you can do so seeing you are not treated well or appreciated there. You should also take the relationship you have with your husband into consideration. If it is a good relationship then be careful not to give e your in-laws any opportunity to poison. his mind. That is why I advised on being diplomatic.

    ReplyDelete
  36. My Sister let peace reign biko
    Pay for the adire or whatever fabric
    Let the kids wear it for that day
    Give it away after that
    And move on
    Life is too short for this kind of unnecessary drama
    Pick your battles

    ReplyDelete
  37. For me I really don't fancy nor like that asoebi stuff, but because she is your SIL, you can buy it for the kids

    ReplyDelete
  38. You already told her to send the material and the cost,next time just tell her straight up, you've made something for the children to wear,if you don't want to pretend keep the asoebi and wear the children the one you bought for them,or make the asoebi and let them wear it to the venue,but still go with the clothes you intended for them to wear and let them change into it after a while,wahala yakari .

    ReplyDelete
  39. On a second thought, I'm thinking maybe the poster isn't comfortable collecting anything from the inlaws since she isn't in good terms with them.
    For peace sake, you can collect the asoebi and tell your inlaw you will like to see the clothes for your children.

    ReplyDelete
  40. You people still want to do wedding in this covid 19?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Poster u seem to be the one with the problem. Buy the fabric and give them to see for peace to reign. It’s her day. And after that keep to urself. U seem troublesome

    ReplyDelete
  42. In short, Stella, you don't have advice for her, lol.

    She made a mistake by asking her to send the fabric when she knew she didn't want it. So, it's too late, Just sew the kids the asoebi, Mrs Elejo wewe!

    Aso ebi is a leveler. There is nothing like you're too big to wear it. It's only for a few hours. People who know you know you can afford better but we wear it in solidarity kind of. Even oyinbos wear them. If you don't want them to wear it, it's still your choice. Don't involve us.

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  43. You are troublesome poster. Is it your wedding? Do your husband’s family not have have a right to your children too, why can’t you let the kids wear the aso ebi- ugly or not. Collect the material and sew overalls for them if it’s tie dye,as you feel it will be too ugly in dress mode. Alternatively make blouses and tulle skirts of same color in the material- buy nice shoes(zara,old navy,Gap) since you are a fashionista then I believe you have access to ‘the abroad’. Mrs I hate tie dye too know.

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  44. my own is this oko something,are you Yorubas comfortable with this tradition? I believe everyone should be respected regardless of age but when it becomes a norm,people will take advantage of it to be disrespectful

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  45. It's not so difficult, get the clothes pay and wear what you had in mind for them. Tailor disappointed you period!

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  46. See Posted, I must tell you bluntly that whether you like it or not, you must buy that Aso ebi. Unless you don't have the funds for it.
    I'm saying this because you're Yoruba and you know what asoebi means to your people.
    If not in the near future, Perhaps in the distant future, when you'll have one thing or the other to celebrate ( either at your Parent's side or your husband's side)and you'll also need people to show solidarity or identify with you. That is when you'll know that it's good to try as much as you can to tolerate and live in peace with others.
    Don't PICK fight with In-law. It doesn't end sweetly.. Shalom!!! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜

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  47. The bride to be may want to sew a uniform style for all the children.
    It's her DAY, so let her pls

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  48. Oni wahala ni e. Yes! You're a trouble maker and you're petty. Do you think people buy asoebi because they like it? Most people buy if they're can afford it out of love and support for the celebrant. In life, you should learn to pick your battles. Buy the fabric, let her sew it. It's really not a big deal. Your children don't have to wear it after the wedding if you don't like it. A lot of us have bought and sewn asoebi that we've never again worn after the celebration for which it was bought. If you can afford it, it's really not a big deal

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  49. Lol, this chronicle is funny o sotee Madam Stella leave advice com tok her own matter ist ,bfo dishing out her final conclusion.

    Poster? It is well with you and your family

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  50. Some people are just so angry for nothing....
    'it might be something i may not want my children to wear' let say you are bigger than everyone else that the children will it. It's a family function, don't deprive those kids the chance to associate with their cousins. If you like don't wear yours because you are upset over whatever. You are even lucky, some sisters inlaw don't even remember their brother's kids during their functions. Free your mind woman and be at peace with your family.
    At the end it's your decision.

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  51. Poster koletoyen now ... just buy it even if ur kids are gonna rock it for just that day!! Do u n leave the rest for God!! At least ur conscience is clear!! This can even surprise them and change their attitudes towards u!! Pls dnt stress it... handle it with wisdom

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  52. Generalizations are bad.. Let's learn to always stick with the issue and leave out the tribe. There are bad and good people in every tribe. I am Yoruba and married into a yoruba family. I have the most amazing mother inlaw.

    I love my mother to death but the truth is what my mum inlaw does for me greatly surpasses what my mum does. I'm not only referring to material things (my mum is richer by the way) but I'm also referring to things that money cannot buy. My mother inlaw treats me and the first daughter in-law so well. So so well. She has done things that has made me burst out into tears of happiness and go on my knees to thank God for blessing me with such great in-laws. Only God can repay her but I do not think everyone's situation is like mine. I know that there are bad and good people everywhere. So please let's stop with the generalizations.

    Now to the issue at hand..Poster, why are you making a mountain out of a molehill. It's actually funny that you're yet to see the fabric but you've concluded that it won't be nice. What would it take you to put your grievance aside and be the bigger person by buying and let your in-law sew the dresses for your children? Since money is not the problem. You really don't have to like the fabric in my opinion as it isn't your wedding. This is petty to me and it shouldn't have even been sent here as a chronicle. Please learn to choose your battles. Somethings are really not worth loosing sleep over .

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  53. Your in-laws may be troublesome but poster, even your own dey your body. You are shaping out to be a problematic MIL in a few decades. Your in-laws and yourself must be chi-ing chomtin in this your situation.

    Do you thinking other people attending the event don't have what to wear or do you see their kids going about naked? Asoebi is about identifying with the family, not competing against your in-laws or showing off your station in life. You think their taste is below you but you left Dangote's sons to marry theirs and you even have children for him. How fantastic are uniforms for kids that they wear 5 times a week? So asoebi of 5 hours max is what is going to give them allergies? Their own aunty's asoebi? It seems you've been quiet and exposed yourself to their drama and now that you've stewed in that bitterness, you want to explose at the wrong time.

    You know the reason why this lady is monopolizing sewing and others is to raise funds. It is the same reason the asoebi is not sold at the market price but inflated to support the new couple. This is the family that raised the husband that you willingly agreed to marry so how bad can their taste be? Who has ever seen and co. material that is perfect? Abroad, the couple will register at different retail stores online and guests will pay for the gifts in their basket to support them. In some parts of Europe, each guest is taxed a certain amount which they can give cash or have wired to the couple as part of their contribution. You did not complain of paucity of funds so why this noise? Is it not this same aunty that would do the running around during your children's birthdays and support at their wedding? Or are you too sophisticated to accept their assistance? Their brother eats you out and you return the favour at least once a week so I don't understand how the yanga thing works in your head. You are on their level. Marriage is a leveller and asoebi is a symptom of it. Even in the north and in Igbo land, like joke they have also copied so where are you going to run to? Your children are eternally part of this allegedly classless family so who are you fooling?

    I feel for your in-laws o! It can't be easy. Mama never see material, never see style for SMALL CHILDREN and has already released verdict of F9. If this woman was a deeper life member and that dull dress code is all that was possible, I guess you'll be too sophisticated to go right? Na wa.


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  54. I'm sorry but this gives an idea of why you have issues with them in the first place,why didn't u tell her to remove your kids from the train then?
    How can they wear what you have at home as part of HER TRAIN to HER WEDDING,madam don't even MENTION it at all(I hope u haven't) even if its sack,its her wedding and you have to oblige her no matter what!
    If u mention this things will sky rocket and become dramatic,if dem call me for d matter self(assuming)I go abuse u๐Ÿ˜!
    Iv plenty clothes my daughter can't wear again and monies were paid to get them....its like adding ur quota to the kini!!

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  55. Cloth wey you never see, nai you don concluded say na rubbish. You and v tenth na the same rope nai tie una two. Every time she is always writing about having issues with in-laws, friends and neighbour.

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  56. Can you please get over your high horse? So the people that wear aso ebi are beggars who don't have anything to wear? I can see that you are not wise and you want to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Your children are just that, children. Who cares if the aso ebi material and the style are hideous? Are they they the ones getting married? So long as they looks clean and well taken care of, no one will notice anything. Years later your they will look at the pictures and laugh. Please focus on real issues. Don't allow folks to put eyes on your children as the special ones; let them wear what everyone is wearing. If you have not poisoned their minds even they will wonder why they are not dressed like the rest of the family. Stop creating a problem to solve another one. You are the true example of someone leaving leprosy unattended while focusing all energy on treating craw-craw. A word is sufficient for the wise.

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  57. What asoebi has caused and is still causing is yet to unfold.

    Asoebi is not compulsory but necessary in some cases..

    Not all battles are worth fighting. If you don't want your kids to wear the clothes, pay for it and let them not attend.

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  58. You are speaking as one who is not wise. This is a time to leave the battles so you can win the war.

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  59. saying yorubas are troublesome is very distasteful and unprofessional of you Stella. I don't think I'm ever coming back to this blog, can't add tribalistc people to my everyday routine

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    1. When it comes to in-law issues, most are

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  60. People come here to to find a place to open up and share their innermost thoughts and feelings. That's why we have to be compassionate in giving advice. She already said she will get the asoebi but is just confiding in us about her reservations. We don't need to resort to name calling to pass our message.

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