Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Og Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Thursday, March 05, 2020

Chronicle Og Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

Hommmmmmm...







RE- STEPPING DOWN FOR THE OTHER -Read HERE


Dear Stella and Blog Visitors,

Thank you all for reaching out to me through your comments, I read every comment again and again. Your words was a great source of strength to me, knowing everyone can’t be wrong. May you all find good counsel in unexpected places.



 Thank you!


So I went over to his place on Saturday to talk things through, he told me point blank that he can never resign, that i of all people know how many years it took him to get this job, how his Dad is late and his family looks up to him.


I stood my ground on not resigning, after all, i was there first and earns way better. He said if that is the case then I am not ready for the marriage.


He accused me of leading him on, wasting his time and emotions, knowing I was never ready to marry him.


We have come a long way and in all honesty, he has been good to me. Maybe he is just scared of failure.


Stella, my relationship is over.... No matter how hard i try to lie to myself, it is what it is.

f I push this further, he resign and get another job elsewhere, at any slight hitch, he will blame me for it. I will be responsible for all his life failures and resentment will set in.

What broke my heart the most is that he refused to even consider going into the same business he almost talked me into... To think that i was 85% ready to give up my all just for “US” to be.


Since Saturday that I left his place, he hasn’t called me. This is so unlike him...


All this seems like a dream, who knows the thoughts of a man?

The pain i feel in my heart, I cannot put it into words.

I thought of taking some days off work to put my emotions together but I will still comeback to the same office. He is like my shadow. Will I ever get over this pain? My God!

I will find a way to inform my parents about where we are now... To prevent unrealistic expectations.

In everything, may the will of God be done.

Thank you all once again.




What a selfish man...His family looks up to him and yours dont look up to you?OK,let us say you agree and resign and his salary can only take care of one family,which family do you think he will pick to take care of?yours or his?
Please let him go,it doesn't matter how many years you have been together,it was wrong investment....

Nobody is saying he is a bad person but Marriage is not something you go into with your eyes closed....You don't have to be enemies,you can be friends but it may be difficult in the beginning cos you both work in the same office....Time will heal all wounds.

180 comments:

  1. Hmm, my question is how will you cope seeing him there every day and remembering all you both shared?

    Hope he will not make your place of work uncomfortable for you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Junior staff?
      Where that power come from?
      Abeg face front waka...
      If i be your friend, id advice u to have a rebound sef, it helps.... you dont have to fuck the rebound

      Delete
    2. Congratulations!! that jazz don fall commot for your eyes. We just saved your life. Imagine after that day he never called you. That should tell you something. You were the one in love not him. Na wa ooo.

      Delete
    3. Next time no carry love interest or chinch put for work. He is greedy and manipulative

      Delete
    4. Like I said before, I knew he'll call off the marriage if you refuse to resign. But I'm SUPER proud of you dear...for once, a chronicle sender took the good advice. Keep things friendly btw you both since you'll be seeing in the office. God will bless you with your soul mate

      Delete
    5. You better go for thanksgiving that guy is not meant for you at all, so you dont have family that look up to you abi..very selfish person. What if you did not get the job for him...has it been you resign that guy will still not marry you or marry you and turn you to full housewife, he is not even going to marry you or did you hurt his ego one way or another before he got a job that he want to retaliate? Brace yourself up o because he will do anything possible to frustrate you in that office by even dating your colleagues or someone very close to you just for you to be jealous or ridicule you. God will always be there for you and he will bring someone 1billion times better than him....please be carefull at work too that guy is a bad person for him not to sabotage your work in order for you to be sack. God loves you and we the sdkers loves you( far better than that yeye somebody sef,) wave your hands and sing bye bye to jati jati and rada rada.

      Delete
    6. Poster if he ever try making you uncomfortable, come back and report to us word to word. We will collectively come together and give you advise or how to deal with him.

      Delete
    7. This man had it planned all along;
      1. get a job at her company
      2. force her to resign
      3. BE SUPERIOR by being the higher earner
      Poster you have done well ojare.
      He doesn't deserve you!

      Delete
    8. Thank God. I was truly concerned about you

      Delete
    9. Anonymousdonor5 March 2020 at 16:32

      This proud man???. Its his kind that will do wedding in 3 months time. I bet thereis someone he is talking to.
      He will flaunt his wife sef.
      Poster dont be deterred. You dodged huge bullet. Keep your head up and go hang out .
      Who knows, you might just meet the love of your life

      Delete
    10. Anon 16:13, that is the energy! Poster if he tries any nonsense, come back here and tell us. I promise you we will tell you best approach to handle his selfish ass. Rooting for you dear.

      Delete
    11. Poster I am so proud of you sister girl. I love you and will always do. Don't worry God will bring your knight in shining armour. Just trust God.

      Delete
    12. Poster, I am very happy for you. You jumped a bullet. Please move on and leave the selfish man alone. God will give you a better man.

      Delete
    13. Thank you for giving us a feedback.. I am happy you listened to us and made the right decision...

      Delete
    14. Poster I thank God for you.

      Delete
    15. Don't be friends with him. I repeat do not be friends with him! Before he presses your mumu button and you risk it all by loose guarding!

      Just hello and let everyone stay on their lane!

      Delete
    16. As difficult as it is, you made the right choice. Don't call him and please don't take him back if he asks you too. It just goes to show how selfish he was

      Delete
    17. How can ONE person be this SELFISH?

      This is cray* aswear

      Almost sounds like he was dating you out of pity to pay back for the job you got him. No single sign of love from him. Ahn ahn...

      Women and falling yakata for men! Like I don't even need my boyfriend working in the same area with me, talk more of street, worse off same building, then terribly same office 😨. Are you kidding me? This one is aside office policy o. Come carry policy join! Don't need to ask any whys again as the deed has been done!

      I am happy you stood your ground! Truth is getting over this won't be too easy. But stay focused and dust this off. Cry if you need to. If you are a Christian, ask the holy spirit to fill you up with strength.

      Don't give him any reason to intimidate you or make you feel low. Let smiles be your new uniform! Make sure power* changes hands, so he stays humble and on his lane.

      You'll be fine ok? 👍

      Delete
    18. He is not really a bad person bawo...ok then eleribu, akosibero ni then

      Delete
  2. My dear, u made the right choice. From this his action its safe to say you would have suffered in that marriage.

    Thanks for giving us feedback.

    Please, I want to plead with u, don't look back, don't go back to him even if he comes begging. I'm seriously pleading, that guy was a disaster waiting to happen.

    It's good this happened as God just found a way to open your eyes before it's too late.


    I hope God sends u a man deserving of your love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure HE will. That man is so self centered. One chance.

      Delete
    2. Really one chance

      Delete
    3. Nne, time will heal your wounds. You made the right choice

      Delete
    4. Poster on your behalf, I'm singing and dancing to zlatan's song...bye bye to yeye boyfriend💃💃💃💃🗣🗣🙌🙌thou must NOT go back to that selfish nigger.

      Delete
    5. I am still afraid poster is not completely decided she is done. I didn't comment on the first one she sent because, what would I have written that wasn't already written there? Why put off when to tell your parents? Call them tomorrow and tell them point blank he wanted you to resign, you thought about them and said no. This one you are still waiting for his call, blank him. Like someone said don't be friends with him because he wants nothing good for you. I wish I knew that guy! I won't quarrel with him but it will give me so much joy to look at him up and down, hiss and spit out everyday. He is in the WhatsApp group of men that want women suppressed eternally.

      Delete
  3. There is a better man in waiting. How much more sacrifice can a woman make. Nne, weigh it and if you cannot live without him, resign and let him take care of you but be assured he has shown you a part of his true nature by this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you mad???????

      Delete
    2. Anonymousdonor5 March 2020 at 15:59

      Please disappear from here. Shebi if her mother falls I'll now, still you pay for the treatment?. Or you think guyman will part with his savings ?.
      My mum did this and till date she regrets it bitterly. My mum's family is almost abandoned, while he is building his.
      Resigning is not something you do for a selfish man.
      And he has already shown poster say he selfish dieeee.
      I'm even angry with poster for not getting her siblings that job on code instead of boyfriend ooo.
      Inukwa you're not ready for marriage.
      Mschewwww. Unto say he be catch.
      He is apparently ndi submission head of the house nonsense.

      Delete
    3. Pls dont heed this advice. Resign ke? He has already shown his true colours.

      Delete
    4. Poster don't resignoooo. Which kin advice be this

      Delete
    5. NNEM PLS DO NOT TAKE THIS ADVICE, YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM BIKO

      Delete
    6. Anon the word resign should have never be part of your comment.

      Delete
    7. Poster, I reject this advice on your behalf, repeat after me: I reject it.

      Delete
    8. Please don't resign else you will regret. Remember your folls and siblings look up to you. That guy is ungrateful and God just helped you dodge a bullet. Imagine he hasn't called you since you left his place and you still think he loves you? My dear don't worry, a better man will come. Just be careful with him im that office so he doesnt make you lose your job.

      Delete
    9. Poster I reject this comment o, you made the right decision.

      Delete
    10. God forbid

      Poster it isn't your portion .

      We all reject it on your behalf.

      Delete
    11. Get out of here! She should resign? Poster listen to this advice at your own peril

      Delete
    12. Poster run away from this advice... She should kini? A girl child has a dream and she should not step down for a selfish man.

      Delete
    13. @anon 15:59, same as my mother. Resigned a well paying job and relocated because of marriage. There was even a time my dad left and she was borrowing to pay school fees.
      Looking back now. She would never. Poster marriage is an economic transaction, it should add to you not reduce you. I see you marrying a billionaire, because you have a good heart and that man doesn't deserve you.

      Delete
    14. One low esteemed female sighted.

      Delete
    15. See the boyfriend in the form of anon 15:36. Chaiii, you lie ooo, she has dodge this bullet forever.
      She will never resign rather the selfish guy will be the one to leave that job for her. Radarada oshi...

      Nne, congratulations on your wise decision. You made us proud. Do not look back and don't change your decision on this issue. The guy is not worth the risk. Remember your mother and siblings, who will take care of them if you allowed him to short change you???

      Gladys is still regretting the similiar decision she took in order to please Chuks. Now, he has abandoned her.

      Be strong and be prayerful. Give him space, good space. God will bring a wonderful man that you truly deserve.

      Delete
  4. Poster dear..sending you loads of strength and hugs! Time heal all wounds,you'll be fine with time

    All the best in your future endeavor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster you made the right decision. Yawa love

      Delete
    2. I am happy you listened to us. You just made my day with this feedback

      Delete
  5. My dear may God console you, I was praying you would make the right decision on this matter. You can see how selfish he is, can you see he is thinking of his family first. Cry if you must but if you ever chose to leave that job en! This pain you feel is nothing compared to what was going to hit you. Humans are wired to be selfish. You go dey alright, that your job is better than x10 of that love. In short, it is gold.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @tiana, you already said what is on my mind. Pls don't look back, the pain you are feeling now can not be compared to the pain you will feel if you ever resign from your job. Don't you know your job gives you power and respect from him. He can never take care of your family like you want,I am talking from experience ooo

      Delete
    2. Right !!!
      I'm happy she gave us feedback and also made the right decision,
      Tough decisions are never easy but on the long run it is always worth it .
      Let yourself hurt ,cry all you want but be glad that this happened for good , he knows you're a strong support to your family he wants you to give up your job but isnt willing to do same for you , there is no competition but let's be reasonable here.

      Well all the best, all would be well eventually.

      Delete
    3. This feedback made my day, mehnnn. Nne you will be fine, time hears all wounds

      Delete
  6. Good riddance. You will find love again. Better broken up than enter into suffering with your eyes wide open.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haaa poster u hav been on my mind ever since...like I was almost having heart attack on ur matter!

      I'm sooooooo happy u made d right decision. That guy is soooo selfish! I'm sure he ddnt even think twice abt u guys, all he had in mind was his family. So u dnt hav family abi? God forbid bad thing!

      I dnt even think that guy loved u sef. He sees himself like a price for him to hav said u are not ready for marriage...! Thunder will fire him wer ever he is! Mtchew!

      Pls baby girl, dnt ever think twice of this decision u made, bcos its d best!
      It's not going to he easy cos u guys work in d same place, but try ur best also crying helps too...just let it out.

      And u kno what, people like u always end up with a billionaire prince charming 😘 wait for him gal n always remember u dodged a thousand bullets, knives, arrows, spears n witchcraft with dat yeye ex boyfriend.

      Delete
  7. Girl don't stress, you made the right choice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very right decision. In future, you will look back and thank God for everything!
      That's my position now, I look back and thank God for all my relationships that didn't work out, cos at the end, God gave me the Best.

      Delete
    2. Very right choice self

      Delete
    3. You made the right decision. God will bless you with the man that is yours. I resigned my well paying job because of marriage and I am regretting it now. Although in my case I chose to resign based on doctors suggestions even when my hubby kicked against it. I regret that decision every single day.

      Delete
  8. You took the right decision, he wanted you to go into business but can't go into same? Onye uche...You will find someone better. Don't taken any day off oo, get to work and work like you usually do, better even, because God has removed a thorn for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The selfishness of men this days leaves me in awe

      Delete
    2. As in it wallops my sensibilities..........

      Delete
  9. "I stood my ground on NOT resigning"....... thats all i needed to hear. You dont need such a selfish human being as that in your life, kick him to the curb.
    Its just sad that youre working in same company, but do well to avoid him like a garbage bin filled with used syringes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly @Macbeth, the 1st line is all that matters to me.
      Heartbreak? You go heal, trust me on this.
      Bikooooooo never you go back to the guy, he had shown you his 'real and true' colour.

      I don talk finish.

      Delete
    2. This made my day aswear! Women need to stand up for themselves.

      Delete
    3. Honestly I looked forward to the feedback
      And yes I'm glad she listened to us all.

      Delete
  10. Atoh.... poster, thank God you are seeing it as clear as crystals. God used you to help him doesn't mean you guys must marry. The pain you feel gets better with time, dont worry your heart will heal.
    But I want to hammer this matter into your head once more, just in case your village people comes back with their covenant of poverty and you will wake up and want to reconsider; some sacrifices are not worth it. This is one of it, do not leave your good job for marriage. This your good man that likes you because you are raking money every month, may not like you when you become broke. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I foresaw this happening... You made the right decision

    ReplyDelete
  12. You will meet a better man and one day u will look back and laugh. What an extremely selfish man with a big chip on his shoulder. This one has serious ego issues and would have started beating u. U really dodged a bullet. Thank God and move on

    ReplyDelete
  13. The man is already intimidated by your success. Don't ever look back,he's not worth you

    ReplyDelete
  14. How selfish can some men be! Be wary of folks that will guilt troll you of not being ready for marriage. His selfishness is that high to remind you of how his family needs the job. And yours don't need it? This is why it's said better have a broken relationship than marriage. Imagine how you would have felt in future by the time he starts exhibiting his true color.

    I know it will be difficult to overcome the heart break because you guys work in same facility, try as much as possible to blank out every thing about him even his shadow. Try.

    If he calls to tell you he has changed his mind, to resign and go into business, refuse. Do not agree. That means he has consulted and is coming out with a plan to "deal" with you using marriage as a bait.

    Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a selfish man indeed.. Poster you dodged bullet.. Better go for thanks giving.

      Delete
    2. Ah tau...
      Dear poster, that’s the next thing to look out for.
      Now that you’ve broken up and you’re hurting, he will try to make you miserable by flaunting a new relationship or discrediting you at work.
      Thankfully you’re not on the same level but ensure your work doesn’t suffer and be very vigilant so no one implicates you in anything.

      In about three months when you start feeling better and taking care of yourself again -wearing nice clothes, smiling more, looking good- this man will attempt to come back into your life, claiming anger or temporary insanity made him break up with you.
      Do NOT go back.

      Just watch and see the kind of man God will bless you with. You will wonder what you ever saw in your ex by then. You will then know the true meaning of a man “being good to you”.
      This man wasn’t good to you, stop saying that.

      Delete
  15. Stella HE IS A BAD PERSON for suggesting that. Anyone who bites the finger that fed them is a bad person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very ungrateful. Just look at how he treated a woman who help him.

      Delete
    2. Don’t mind the poster. Let her keep defending him, how can you say someone this selfish is not a bad person?

      Delete
  16. See the way I'm happy you left that selfish, entitled and inconsiderate man... Love of your life my nyash

    Your real love of your life is on the way just wait, you will find him soon

    ReplyDelete
  17. Detective Adaobi5 March 2020 at 15:50

    Did you now know and think about the policy before you got the job for him? Some of you don't have foresight at all, you only look at the immediate gain. Now look at the pain (your word not mine)you've caused for yourself.

    Anyway, this too shall pass. You have a very good job, have patience, another good man will come your way. In months time, you will not remember this heartbreak again.

    Do not, I repeat do not allow anybody including that man coerce you into changing your mind. Secure that your job with all you've got.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She did nothing wrong by helping him. We are all called to help those close and dear to us. Do you know how his having a job has been a blessing to his family? The guy has issues which are the focus of this matter.

      Delete
  18. Better no leave that job becos of this idiot. Do like he does not exist. Dnt jump into another arm just to move on oo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Aunty. You made the best decision.
    Don't ever go decision

    ReplyDelete
  20. Detective Adaobi5 March 2020 at 15:51

    Did you not know and think about the policy before you got the job for him? Some of you don't have foresight at all, you only look at the immediate gains. Now look at the pain (your word not mine)you've brought to yourself.

    Anyway, this too shall pass. You have a very good job, have patience, another good man will come your way. In months time, you will not remember this heartbreak again.

    Do not, I repeat do not allow anybody including that man, coerce you into changing your mind. Secure that your job with all you've got.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first paragraph makes the rest of your advise useless. Shut ur silly mouth!

      Delete
    2. There's really no need for insults. Why can't we just skip comments we don't like, instead of being rude? 🤷

      Delete
    3. Makebi, she is always aggressive, na her default be that.

      Delete
  21. Poster the truth was that he never loved you. I have been there before. Move on. He lost. Not you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Don't ever go back to him even if he begs.
    Look for someone else. Don't ever quit your job for anything. You will get over the ♥break.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! cos my spirit tells me he will still comeback and try to emotionally blackmail and manipulate her. Poster if you agree to marry this man you will make the biggest mistake of your life. Your happiness and financial stability is very important and your parents deserve to be well taken care of and you should never compromise that for any man

      Delete
    2. As in.... poster I take God beg you. When he comes begging dont go back to him. Even if he decides to resign, because this type will resent you forever. Just tell him no hard feelings and keep it moving. You are in my prayers nne.

      Delete
  23. Have you both explored other options? Maybe you can do a small court wedding first while you both look for another job or ask for transfer to another branch. I'm sure that with your work experience you can negotiate a better job elsewhere, you just have to be smart about it.
    The truth is... What is a man without his earning power? He's selfish but aren't we all? If he resigns and does not get a job immediately, believe me, you will get tired of footing family bills.
    I feel like you both should have explored other options before calling it off. Since you already called it off, let it be.
    Pray to God to work it out for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ?? If getting a new job is so easy you yourself should leave your current job and leverage your experience to get a new one. BIKO

      Delete
    2. Poster ignore this advice biko

      Delete
    3. But how can you think like this? She will get tired of footing family bills, so it is better to attach herself to this wicked and wife's progress hating man?? What do you even mean by she will get tired?? So it is the man that won't get tired of taking care of her family that is if he does and does it well??
      And which option is there to explore again kwa when the man has made it clear he is going no where?? Do court wedding too sef?? And after reading what he said in this update, you are even suggesting she quits her job and hustle for a new job?

      I am wowed. Pls poster move on and praise God for all he has done for you.

      Ada

      Delete
    4. And so if you were the poster you would have "negotiated", done court wedding, resigned and searched for jobs after all the advice in the original post abi? Jisie ike.

      Ada.

      Delete
    5. Poster ignore this nonsense

      Delete
    6. Stella Dimoko nwunye Korkus, Biko helep us delete all these bad advice dem.🙏🏾
      God has delivered poster and the devil will not succeed in making affliction arise in her life a second time!

      Poster ignore this advice, if you go back ehn, the weeping and gnashing of teeth dikwa serious.
      That will not be your case, I’m praying for you.

      Delete
    7. Adebekee are you sure you are okay? Poster don't listen to this silly advice. leave that guy, he doesn't love you. I wish you help one of your siblings to get that job instead of this your ungrateful ex.

      Delete
    8. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 17:19
      This is a very good plea but our dear poster
      Has sense.

      Delete
    9. Please don't listen to this senseless comment o

      Delete
    10. To all the anonymouses, there is no place I asked her to resign her job, I only said to have explored other options. Everyone must not think one dimensional, life is not one dimensional neither is it black and white. She sounds like she loves the guy and like he's a good guy. The definition of a good guy is not one who will resign his job for her. If not, she would have also resigned for him as a good girl. Obviously each of them is thinking selfishly and that's not necessarily a bad thing. It will only take a special person or one who's led by the spirit to make this kind of sacrifice.
      If he resigns and she begins carrying the family, it's still the same you people that will say he's a lazy man.

      Delete
    11. That selfish man is not ready to explore other options, it's very very obvious.
      This poster does not need extra stress for her life, she should drop the man asap!

      Delete
    12. If he is such a good man, there are better ways he would have put it. Kai there's no better way sef. He showed his real self not calling her since that day. Babe (poster) please don't look back. I earn close to nothing at my main job which is my passion yet no Jupiter will make me leave it.

      Delete
  24. I'm so happy you made the right decision but so sad that you're in pain. Don't worry. A time will come when you will look back and be grateful.

    You'll marry a good man who'll appreciate you and give you so much joy. I admire ladies like you who are taking care of their families. It is not easy. Your husband will be one who will help you with your financial burden, not add to it.

    Remain professional at your workplace. Do not gossip about the matter, even if he does. Some people may mock you for your decision, especially if he gets married before you and/or gets a job that pays even higher than yours. But don't let it get to you

    You'll be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  25. God bless you. You are a good person. I always find it hard to give advice because most people will come here and you advice them but they end up doing the opposite of what they ought to do. It's almost like they came here to frustrate blog visitors on purpose. But you are different.
    God bless you. In this life always know this...you come first. All these I love you, I love you it's very conditional. Nobody loves out of pity but because you have what they want. They consider their own desires first before they love you. Nobody loves you for you but they love you for themselves.bWith you it was different because he was your first Iove so you loved him selflessly. Welcome to the real world.
    You gave him the job if he was smart enough he would leave for you because hey! You can help him with another job else where.

    What if they eventually sack him? After all you said he isn't ry settled like you because he joined newly. He is ready to let you go with all your knowing you aren't a liability but an asset. Nawa

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thank heaven that you 👂ed. That guy for show you after the wedding. Sit back and watch how your own man comes for you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It is well with you. Thank God you used your head, he wasn't meant to be your. He is a serious manipulator, imagine telling you that you led him on.. if you didn't want his good would you have brought him into the company to earn well?
    God will give you a man that will appreciate you and value you

    ReplyDelete
  28. That Man is very selfish!!!

    It's better he goes than you lose you Job... A better Man would come!!!

    All of a sudden, his family looks up to him🤣🤣🤣🤣


    My dear, you'll feel better with time.... A relationship that I thought was 'it' also ended and I haven't died, everyone will come around eventually 🤷🤷🤷

    ReplyDelete
  29. You made the right choice girl. In no sooner time, you will find someone way better than him. Focus on your job and keep being optimistic.

    ReplyDelete
  30. My dear you dodged a bullet. His family looks up to him and yours looks up to you. He will always choose his family needs over yours. Men are always nice when they know you are equal to the task, but when you depend on them wholly, then you will know hell except very few but this man you described up there, is a very selfish man. He will show you pepper if you ever resign and have to depend on him. He will start by making sure all your savings are liquidated, and then booom, his true colour will come out. Emotional blackmail, don't allow him guilt talk you o

    ReplyDelete
  31. If it’s possible to ask for transfer , pls do. Not likely you will heal if you continue to work in the same space. How will you feel if he gets someone earlier than you and proceed to marriage. E go hard oh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do not transfer anywhere. Heal biko. Cry oh, cry as much as u want but heal without having to transfer yourself anywhere because then the whole aim of not leaving ur job for him is defeated.

      Delete
    2. Which yeye transfer?? She'll heal perfectly, it might take time but she will!!!


      If he likes, let him marry next week, that's his business!! Poster, anytime you feel bad, think about his selfishness and move the hell on!!

      It's not just about your job, this man is extremely intimidated by your success and would do anything to make sure you are beneath him financially!!

      You don't need such man!!!

      Delete
    3. E no go hard.
      There is nothing new under the sun. People have gone through worse and healed, ask God to help you and the Holy Spirit will comfort you.
      Years ago, I had a nasty break up with my first love, I was loving but he was planning to wed another. He told me via email cos he couldn’t face me.
      As in, I left his house and got an email from him the next morning that he was to be married in 3 weeks.
      I died and woke up.
      Attempted suicide twice but my family was vigilant and foiled both attempts. Flunked my exams and had to enroll for reseats.
      I thought I’d never recover.

      Well. I saw him recently. He has two kids now. I’m not yet married and I thought I’d feel disadvantaged but I did not.
      He was practically drooling over me, telling me I looked better than ever, wanting to reinitiate a relationship. In his dreams.
      Told him to go rekindle love for his wife.

      I looked at him head to toe and asked myself, was I blind? Or crazy? What did I see in him before? Lol

      Long story short, poster, you’ll be fine.

      Delete
    4. Do not go anywhere. Be happy in his face.
      If he like let him be in relationship with Queen Elizabeth, nothing concern you, yours will come.

      Delete
    5. Transfer to where?? Heck no poster do 'no leave no Transfer'. Stand tall and hold your head high mehn, you ain't going no where!! There is nothing you are facing now that hasn't happened to mankind before. This is a phase of your life and it shall pass.

      Delete
    6. Transfer ko transfer ni

      Delete
    7. EXCEPT THE TRANSFER WILL ADVANCE HER CAREER, SWELL HER POCKET AND BUILD HER CV, this poster should stay put and flourish. It is in the presence of our enemies that God will prepare our table o.

      Poster, you have left this man. Do not let him factor in when you are making your decisions about career or anything else. This man did not factor in your joy even after you helped him out of the applicant pool. He does not factor in your life going forward.

      Delete
  32. All I can say is "this life na wah"

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anon 15:36 pls dont say that resign to her again.before that's the only advice the devil will allow her see here today.girl resist the devil o! Cos that guy can go back,restrategise and work on your emotions and you'll resign.Because of love that even him doesn't have for you.PLS DO NOT RESIGN!

    ReplyDelete
  34. My dear u ll be fine. Trust me. This is a sacrifice for your family and God ll reward you

    ReplyDelete
  35. My dear , dont think you made the wrong choice leaving him.....I know it's not easy . Time will let you know you made the right choice

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster dont look back even if he comes begging. Dont try it else you will regret it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If she has ears, let her hear.. God just saved you from a life of agony my dear.

      Delete
    2. Don't let anyone of his friends f family talk out back into the relationship.

      Whoever want you both to come back, treat them as your enemy.

      Delete
  37. Thank God for delivering you from a wicked and selfish man, if you marry that guy your eyes for see nwiiii, let him go am sure he has another woman in the pipeline he is just waiting for you to let him go, baby girl be ready for another shock that guy will marry before 6months,
    You made the mistake of getting him the job in 1st place, na love shark you make you lost your reasoning, delete him and refresh your emotions for him as a mere colleague, your own man is coming and am sure he will be better that that guy who is even your junior in the office.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God really loves you poster, you for hear am for that marriage.

      Delete
  38. Dear poster, whenever u feel like you have lost something, consider how selfish he was and justify your breakup. With time he will only be a selfish person to you and not a 'the best husband you never had'. And guess what, at 28, u will get better suitors, just open your heart to fresh beginning and all will fall into place. Distract yourself and never try to monitor his progress. Just be indifferent towards him, the best you can. Tho it may be difficult at first, but with time and your justifiable reason, it will become more easy to forget him. Enjoy your life dear, if u know what women who enter marriage without a means see ehnnn, dont even make d mistake

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thank God for delivering you from a wicked and selfish man, if you marry that guy your eyes for see nwiiii, let him go am sure he has another woman in the pipeline he is just waiting for you to let him go, baby girl be ready for another shock that guy will marry before 6months,
    You made the mistake of getting him the job in 1st place, na love shark you make you lost your reasoning, delete him and refresh your emotions for him as a mere colleague, your own man is coming and am sure he will be better that that guy who is even your junior in the office.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I agree with everything Stella said except being friends with him. I say a big NO to that; deal with him at an arm length.
    He's really selfish and doesn't love you. Watch out, he might start manipulating you in that office very soon but give him no mind. Incase he wants to go petty by dating someone else in the same office with you, pretend not to notice. Infact henceforth, train your mind not to notice him when he's around. Don't allow him come back to convince you. If he turns to be a bully because you are not stepping down for him, please report him to H.R.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be his friend o. Let railway pass in between the two of you.
      No room for friendship o.

      Delete
  41. Good for you sis you made the best decision.It might be difficult for a while but you will be fine eventually. No man is worth you resigning a lucrative job for. If you ask me you just dodged a bullet by breaking up with his sorry selfish ass.Nothing like being able to provide for urself and ur parents without being at the mercy of a man.You will find the right man for you eventually and no matter the way he tries to emotionally blackmail you for not resigning just know that all of us here are 101% behind you and support your decision. The way I am happy for you ehn one will think we are related. Stop feeling down and thank God for giving you the wisdom to take the best decision of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  42. It was all to subdue you hun. Power and control is what he wanted. My dear you are better off, he will come back don't call or message him when he comes stand your ground

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, he will come back at one point, since he will be expecting you to change your mind, don't give him audience o.
      Don't entertain any story from him, in short block him from everywhere.

      Delete
  43. Pls think of all that your job means to you before, now and in future, and also what it means to everyone around you and be happy for your decision. Never ever go back to him. Infact, see him as a junior staff wen no reach you. Be happy

    ReplyDelete
  44. Sad one....
    Why don't you both postpones your wedding plans, he finds a job, probably, that pays equivalent, and then you both commence your wedding plans again.
    Its hurtful if you both love each other and this has to e a hinderance.

    All in All, if he isn't ready to "Postpone and find another job with time", then he isn't considering " your future union", rather, himself alone.
    I pray you both find a solution, else, its Gods will

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure u read and understand this post with its insinuations

      Delete
    2. They have found solution.... She has dumped his ass like a bad habit!!!


      She has sacrificed enough and this man isn't even worth it.... The Man is trying to blackmail her emotionally by not calling her, shior!!

      Delete
    3. Poster, all these people na your ex boyfriend paddy, no listen to them oh.

      Delete
    4. Did you read the chronicle at all or you just can't think ?

      Delete
    5. Real ex boyfriend paddy .


      People be dishing advise they'd never take .

      Poster remain wise please

      Delete
  45. My dear poster Stella and Eke Joy follow their advice. From now onward pretend you don't know he exit in that company. Every disappoint is a blessing Almighty God will send you a man you are his missing rib inform your parents and look for what make you happy and be happy always. NEVER LOOK BACK ON HIM NO MATTER HOW HE BEG YOU MOVE ON AND DON'T SHOW HIM YOU ARE HURT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 😂😂@"follow stella and eka joy's advice"
      Eka joy won't like this oo. The last time someone said "follow ronalda and Debra's advice", she para for the person like say she wan scatter blog. Hehehehe kikiki😁

      Delete
  46. Thank you for dropping the selfish man. He is not suitable for you. Be patient, socialise more, be happy and your correct man will show up.

    ReplyDelete
  47. You will be fine poster, I would've said, get a rebound but your type no dey catch fun, ignore him at work, toughen up, cry it out n chin up, he's not worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  48. In addition, please be very careful about him. He sounds bitter and might do anything to get you fired. So never trust him again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they are not in the same department, all the better for her. your advice is valid still

      Delete
  49. I heaved a sigh of relief when i read that "I stood my grounds and didn't resign".

    You just dodged a bullet. Im so happy for you sis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so happy she listened. He will try to guilt trip her but I pray she didn't look back at all.
      What a way to end thing with a selfish idiot.
      Thinking about himself alone.

      Delete
    2. You know this !!!

      This right here made my day .

      Delete
  50. Very selfish guy. No be who earn pass dey remain for work? He is not even husband, common boyfriend. If you guys really loved yourself, both of you would search for job and whoever gets first would resign, na so Bankers dey do.

    ReplyDelete
  51. The shit women chop from men in dating and marriage. Our society really needs to do better in how we raise women to value marriage and how we raise men to value only themselves. It’s unfair

    ReplyDelete
  52. poster you took a wise decision. No need to cry over a man that is so selfish, has a wicked heart.

    do not worry God will bring a good man your way. He is not a good man that you have to cry over him.

    ReplyDelete
  53. To show you how important the job is, he refused to resign.

    But he is playing on your intelligence knowing that women can't use ear and hear marriage. Furthermore, he is putting the blame on you saying you broke his heart so you will think you broke up with him.

    That man broke up with you.

    Thank God while you are grieving his loss.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
  54. It was wrong investment. He is selfish and wicked with a stupid ego. Don't let him blackmail you into feeling like you are the partner doing the wrong thing. You deserve a better life, you deserve to earn that money and position you hold currently, you are your Family's breadwinner don't forget that.
    Don't forget that the heart of man is desperately wicked, if you ever leave this job and eventually start business will you feel the same satisfaction and security? When time comes and you are not doing as well as you are doing presently will he not change? What if other issues come up in the marriage and he shows his selfish & insensitive character will you not feel regret? You need to be stronger than ever before girl! You need to move on no matter what, don't let this issue affect your work & responsibilities. Be strong. If this guy is for you a miracle will work things out. It won't be either of you giving up the job, it would be a better opportunity being presented to either of you on a platter of gold. God is not an author of confusion my dear ,continue your work, live your normal life, take this time of pain & heartbreak to reflect on better things, improve in some ways, everything will be alright real soon.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Darling come here, let me hug you. I know it hurts. It must really be painful seeing as you really love him but you did the right thing. He his selfish and I knew he was never going to resign. I knew it. Don't feel bad, you'll be fine. The right man will come.. Nothing beats having your own money as a woman. Trust me, I know what I'm saying and like my mum would always say, your job is your first husband. You've done the right thing. You'll heal and you'll be fine. Thank you so much for the feedback. I really I'm so proud of you and I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  56. My dear, maybe it was never meant to be. I would say he was selfish for only thinking of himself and not you. Just imagine he refused to take up the business he recommended for you. Now he's trying to blackmail u emotionally. What if this guy chose his family over u when the going get though. I always believe there would have been a better way to solve this than the way he went about it. My dear, brace up and face life. You have a responsibility to be happy. Your family need u too.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Congratulations, you just dodged a bullet

    ReplyDelete
  58. Thank heaven that you 👂ed. That guy for show you after the wedding. Sit back and watch how your own man comes for you.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Your story got me really angry... But this update made my day walahi. Thank God you listened to words of wisdom. You will get over it soon.. Please don’t even remain friends with him.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Like they always say, you dodged a bullet. Thank your God he would have made I've misarable for you

    Summon courage and it him behind you, though it's not gonna be easy but it's going to be better for you.
    Be well poster.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Hmmmm , my dear may God guide you aright.Only you knows this guy well enough. of course i wont advise you to quit your job but please know its not easy for him to also quit.i expected him to talk with you and discuss way forward if he truly wants you but iguess he feels youre also being selfish for not letting go .I think you both need that time alone .let him make the move , he might come around and if hes geniunely sorry , you can talk things out , you both look for job while at it.Dont mind these bvs saying you dodged a bullet etc.Noone is perfect and yes we all selfish and some of them will do more than that in that situation.Be wise my dear .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you are a woman then it is prick that will kill you. You want her to quit her well paying job so her family can suffer just because of the title MRS. The way some of you reason dey tire me. I wish poster didn't help him to get that job. He is an ungrateful element. He can't even call since she left his place

      Delete
    2. Na her type they die for marriage matter. If you look well she quit her crayfish business for one efulefu. Yeye as if marriage in pain and regret dey sweet

      Delete
    3. What is wrong with women that they can so easily throw away the school fees their parents paid for Mrs? THE WOMAN ALREADY HAS A GOOD PAYING JOB WITH PROSPECTS. SHE HAS A STRONG NETWORK THERE AND USED IT TO GET OGA EMPLOYED. THE PERSON WHO SHOULD BE JOB HUNTING IS THE GUY. This approach to life is how people get sacked in droves in an office. Uprooting yourself to a new place means you are the newbie who doesn't know anyone and has no strong roots. Any downsizing and you're out.

      Delete
  62. Thank God you didn't agree to resign. Stick to your guns, hold your head high, if he tries to misbehave at the office put him in his proper place as the junior staff that he is. Ignore any other suggestion he might bring up although I doubt that he will ever contact you again because I seriously suspect he has a new relationship in the pipeline.

    YOU WILL BE FINE. 28years, smart, beautiful, a good heart, intelligent with a good job? Nne you are an ASSET and it's his loss not yours because that is one selfish, egotistical, arrogant, Igbo man. Nkita racha ya anya.

    That pain you are feeling will fade and in this situation, time will heal that wound. Time, the look of your account balance every month end and the prayers your parents and siblings shower on you will heal any wound and pain.
    I repeat... YOU WILL BE FINE.
    The speed a better man will use and rush you will take your breath away sef.
    Biko delete his contacts and block him everywhere you hear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ralu M, where have you been? Missed reading your comments here.

      Delete
  63. God speaks in different ways, He just showed you the type of man you would have married, that was why he got that job.
    Your own man will come, trust me on this and you will look back and be forever grateful for this decision you took.
    Congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I celebrate you sis, burn every bridge that led/leads to that man. He is not the kind of ex you should even consider staying friends with... So he's going passive aggressive on you, to manipulate and break you, The nerve!! This is 2020, you do not need such toxicity in your life. Cry all you can now, because the tears you are experiencing now, is nothing compared to what you would have experienced in marriage with this man. Your e-family is here, we've got your back.

    ReplyDelete
  65. My dear come closer collect kiss from me💋. You did well by listening to all the advice given here! Anyone that doesn't get wise on SDK blog na confirmed mugu! Na now work start for you, now that the relationship is over STAND YOUR GROUND.DON'T GO BACK TO HIM! I REPEAT DON'T GO BACK TO HIM! He doesn't deserve you. Move on with your life better man dey for front! Cry,feel bad,but trust me the heart always heals! Your family will be so proud of you, don't disappoint them! Take care of yourself and look towards your future! Dat man no be am! Na wasted sperm!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Poster,well done!... it's good dat you left the guy.Meanwhile, becos the guy didn't resign for you doesn't mean that he's bad or wicked,it just means that he isn't the one for you!...As a girl & an Igbo,I understand his reasons for not wanting to quit & yes,they are valid.But like I said,the both of you ain't compatible for marriage.That guy doesn't need marriage now,he needs to be financially stable,before he gets married.I love the fact that neither one of you stepped down for the other, becos the both of you ain't right for each other!!!...Cheerios.

    P.S.:Ladies,pls marriage is not by force!..either you choose your career first,or you choose your marriage.Stop trying to force 2 things together especially when they're not meant to be.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Poster, I know it might not be easy. Cry if you have to but seriously you should be dancing. God really loves you. Block that man and all his family members everywhere so that he will know you mean business.
    Do not let anybody push you into going back. I know by the time hour family members from both sides hear of this, they may want to persuade you, do not listen. Don't even tell your mum you did it because of them, my sister, let this sink in, you are doing this most importantly because of yourself. God gave you a blessed career and job, do not take it for granted. Do not be like Esau who didn't see his birthright as anything but he cried so hard when he lost it and couldn't get it back. Liken this job to your birthright.
    Poster, you will be fine.
    Once again, do not let anybody convince you to take him back. I know Nigerian mothers,she may even go to a cleric to beg you to reconsider. Be wise!!!

    ReplyDelete
  68. This is the first time we all agree on the same thing on here, this is really something, poster. Don’t ever go back to that guy, cos he will “finish” you, of you do.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Dear writer if you ever feel sad and alone pls reach out to us on this blog. We all have your back and we are rooting for u. No matter the pain from the heart break do not go back.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Put on your big girl pants abeg. And show him nothing but confidence. Appearing sad and heartbroken will tell him that he won and he might come back to cajole you or try to win you back. Men sniff weakness from a mile away. Don’t allow him to exploit this. Cry, and break things at home, come to work bright happy, stern faced and confident. After all, you won!!! (My cousin will say: tie up you heart and feelings and throw them behind you, pick them up later).


    I am glad you did not resign. Your life will not be better off if you did.

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141