Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Thursday, April 09, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm......












NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
BIG TIME FUCK UP


Good day Stella and bvs.


I have a problem that I will really need advice from bvs most especially the married ones. Please it's going to be a bit long


Straight to my story

I am in my early thirties and married. My marriage is 3 years. 

One year after my wedding, my brother in law came to stay with us, my husband told me he was coming for interview but he will spend 3 weeks with us, I said fine no problem. This guy ended up staying 7 months, I had to nag, complain before my husband asked him to leave.


 I know I shouldn't but I am the kind of person that really love my space and privacy and please to be honest he was not interfering in my marriage or overstepping his boundaries but I was just tired of having a full grown man of about 30 years living with me. 

After he left my husband kept hammering how I hate his family it brought serious issues for us.

One month after he left my father in law and their last born came, he told me earlier that the father will be coming to stay with us because he's not feeling fine and that their last born will have to come with him so as to be taking care of him in the hospital I said fine. 


Stella, when they came I waited for him to take the father to the hospital but he didn't, he employed a doctor that was coming over to treat him, I don't know what was wrong with him that he was ashamed of taking him to the hospital. 

After a year and six months of them staying with us I told him to take him to the hospital since he's not getting any better ,my husband as usual said I hate his family hence the reason I wanted them to leave.


I told him that marriage is very stressful on its own and that couple should be allowed to enjoy, get to know themselves very well and also bond those early years before children will start coming, that he supposed to take his father to the hospital for proper treatment since his doctor have been treating him for the past one year and 6 months yet no improvement, let's try a second option if it doesn't work then we will bring him back home knowing that we have tried other options . 


My dear husband said I hate his family and was just seeing my fault in everything. I know he was frustrated but why pour your frustration on me? The monthly upkeep for the family that he usually give me don't use to be enough since they came, I try as much as I can to manage but its never enough, mind you he didn't add a dime to the family upkeep money he was giving me before they came.


 If the money finish before the end of the month he will complain and complain of how I can't manage things before he will bring another money, it got so bad that I had to report him to his friend who made him understand that money that use to sustain both of us before can no longer sustain four adult plus a child, this whole issue and the frustration that my husband was dumping on my head made me to in turn start blaming my in laws for everything am going through in my heart and with time I started giving everyone serious attitude, only morning greetings,i know I shouldn't but my emotions gave me out. 


Anytime we had a fight, my husband will be saying it to their hearing that I don't want his family around that is why am behaving like someone beaten by scorpion. During our last fight my husband as usual said I hate his family and they packed and left two days later without saying a word to me. I feel so terrible because I should have not given them that attitude, my husband and I have not been talking to each other for months now, I know I messed up or maybe is my husband trying to blackmail me emotionally in to believing I was wrong.

 In any case please I want bvs to tell me if I was wrong and advice on how to clean up this mess/problem. My in-laws never gave me trouble throughout their stay to be honest but am just a kind of person that love my space and my husband didn't help matters by always blaming me for not managing the upkeep money well forgetting that we had extra two mouths added but in all that I shouldn't have given them that serious attitude. Please advice me




YOU ARE A WICKED WITCH....wicked woman....Hisssss!
You have your space now enjoy it please!!!

219 comments:

  1. First to comment.
    Yaay.!
    Do we still do this?
    Lemme go back and read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ
      Lmaooooo
      See you !!

      Delete
    2. This story has been posted here before na. My dear me I hate strangers staying with me too. I love my space

      Delete
    3. But poster even if you dnt want them around there are nice ways you would have gone about it. That's his father for God's sake and they are not staying forever. You were wrong madam. You attitude must be very bad. Na wa o

      Delete
    4. Damn! You are wicked ma’am.... The man that gave your husband life (after God) and fed, cater for him yet you treated him this way? You are not a wise woman.. Your husband can never love you whole heartedly again. Why do we women think that our is only for us once we get married? Haba! A lot of people sacrifice to bring up a child, why treat his papa the way you did? Untop of food and space that you are not solely responsible for? You stated clearly that your in-laws were not crossing boundaries yet you gave them attitude. I pray you leave long enough to visit your children in-law and get treated the same way. Madam, you haven’t only offended your in-laws but you have also offended God. It is the will of God for children to cater for their parents when they are old. This is getting me emotional. Let me just stop here. Amend your ways before it gets too late.

      Delete
    5. @HIps
      So you father brothers in law na "strangers?"
      Wow, who will carry your type and put in the house as wife?

      Delete
    6. Sexy Hips how's your family a stranger. The moment you're married your spouses family becomes your family straight up.

      Delete
    7. My dear, I totally understand you cos I'm like that too, I love my personal space but sometimes life happens.
      Before we got married, I categorically told hubby that plz no family or siblings will stay with us.
      Ironically my younger brother got admission to a school in d state I reside and has been living with us for 2years now.
      Hubby never complained for a day and now I just smh at my selfishness and naivety.
      I understand that u want time to bond with ur husband and immediate family and aving extended family around can be draining especially as finances is tight BUT you didn't apply wisdom.

      I see u are remorseful so plz channel that remorse to ur husband.
      Tell him that we ALL make mistakes, no one is perfect.
      You were wrong with d way u treated them and u are sorry.
      You were only being "childish". Let him know u are ready to right ur wrongs
      Then gently tell him he also didn't help by quarrelling with u in their presence nd saying u don't love them to their hearing.
      What kinda impression is he giving,instead of him to be praising ur efforts and if he wants to scold he should do that in d privacy of ur room.
      Can u even live with someone u hate?
      I guess d whole tension accumulated and he wasn't even listening to u so u started resenting them which shouldn't be.

      Incase of next time cos ur husband seem like d family kinda man, tell him to make time out for u guys as a couple.
      It's what hubby and I do when we have lots of people in d house and we notice tension is building
      Sometimes he comes to pick me from work and we go to any cool spot, there we thrash issues and cry if we av to and makeup over a drink or ice cream.
      Then we go back to d house happier and more equipped to deal with issues.

      Delete
    8. Unexposed Igbo in laws. This is their job. Treat their sons wives as extensions. Who comes into a young couples home to stay for months!!!! Very terrible.

      Delete
    9. Thank God I live abroad with my Caucasian wife.I don't have to go through this madness.
      Kid brother came for his masters and quickly sorted his studio accommodation and only calls on the phone/wasapp and come around most wkends for wkend drinks and meals.#respectinghimself
      My wife's family respect themselves too and never intrude.They only come for dinner or events when invited.
      I can't deal with all these in laws/sibling wahala from either my own family or my wife's family. I cherish my space and will expect an adult to do same. Of course, exception when it comes parents.

      Delete
    10. Abeg, any foreign body is a stranger in my house.

      Delete
    11. Let me buy space here

      I cannot imagine living with someone for months without communication. You're very strong. Are you sure there's heart inside your chest?
      Oya go and find that your sexy lingerie and wear before he comes back from work. Prepare a nice meal. Kneel down and apologize because you over reacted young woman (well, not so young).
      If possible, cry on top your apology (it works). Just make sure u apologize profusely and then ask of papa

      Delete
    12. If you're both at home for the quarantine, better. Just beg

      Delete
    13. Stella that is a bit hasss!!! Poster both you and your husband are to blame for the issues in your marriage and until you both put your egos aside and settle the rift there will be no peace in your home. It's a good thing you feel guilty about what you did, you have no reason whatsoever to disrespect your father in-law, na condition make crawfish bend oh. Please go to your husband and apologize for all your misbehavior and pour out your heart to him, let him know the things he did that you didn't like during the cause of your misunderstanding and after that if your mum is still alive tell her about your fuck up and ask her to follow you to you inlaws to go and apologize to your father in-law.
      What your husband did by keeping his father in your house for over one year is very wrong but two wrongs don't make a right so toe the part of peace.

      Delete
    14. Madam poster you no fuck up. Ur type many for this world both white and black women. Greedy women , that’s how my bothers wife is too, she no wan see any of her in-laws, but if you go to my brothers house, she has turn it into an Anex of her village. The issue is we no send thank God everybody in my family is doing great so nobody even want to stay in anybody’s house, na we like our space, if I go to their base , I stay in a hotel, my father has his own money and funny enough she goes to ask the old man for money and he gives her steady. This thing has to do with family background, women from very poor home, where they need to compete for everything including food and beds space always have such attitude.the chase what is not chasing them, it’s clear that her husband is from a good home and that was why they never intrude in her matter and that’s also why the just leave. I am sure they are the ones asking the husband to be patient with her. That is why the husband says it in front of them, he must have complained to his family about her.

      Delete
    15. Madam ure a little bit mean,all i can say is u should nor bring hatered towards u from your husband or his family cos u will b full of regrets later on with no shoulders to cry on

      Delete
    16. Poster,you're not a wise woman at all.
      Even if your husband forgives you,will your inlaws forgive and forget?
      Once you get married and you have good inlaws, all this "my space my space"thingy should stop.
      You no try at all.
      You messed up,now please by all means, enjoy your space.

      Delete
    17. Nawa

      I like my space too but your own is too extreme!

      You don't have love for your husband's family.

      Pls apologise and change

      Wisdom is profitable

      Delete
    18. Pray very well that when you grow old and frail, you wouldn't need any care cos what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Imagine your son's wife also treating you this way...hahaha

      Delete
    19. But the hubby was deceitful, he should have told you clearly what his plans are, instead of lying that its only for a few days or weeks when it's the woman that will have to do the job of being a good host. I love my personal space, but I can accommodate people for months or years if I know from the beginning the truth. Don't try playing smart about these things with your wife. Xxbarbiexx

      Delete
  2. You remind of a man who was planning to divorce his wife. He wrote to tell that his wife said the his parent won't live with them when they become old. He hates his wife now and was scheming to divorce her after their two years of marriage. So women like you are plenty in this world? Your husband has blanked out just like the other bv who complained about his wife. You are own your own. I wonder where men find women like you from.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave her Nah. Forget women like her are plenty may God save us from meeting her kind that would generate us from our family.

      To think she waited for months before thinking it through. In marriage you shouldn't even let malice last a day but you allowed it last so many months even when you were wrong. Don't you have parents? You can't tell me you didn't discuss this issue with them and they never saw anything wrong with how you treated your in laws to the extent that the whole matter had to escalate till MONTHS before your eye cleared. Do you even know the big steps your husband must have taken during those months you kept on doing strong head for him despite being at fault.

      Delete
    2. Why stop at his parents? Add her parents too. Plus grandad and grandma. Poverty mentality.
      Who will run around looking after his old parents? Not him and that's a fact.

      Delete
    3. 16:08 you are the one suffering from poverty mentality. Because the man who commented on that day seemed to be very rich. He said they have househelps all over the house and she won't be the one taking care of them. The woman in question just doesn't want his parent over but you just have to act ignorant like you did read that part. Smh.

      Delete
    4. 16:08 obviously she won't be the one running around taking care of his old parents. They would get a nurse or a maid to do that except she is jobless and trying to make herself useful.

      Delete
  3. If you really loved your space, you would not get married coz getting married means, another man while share your space with you. You already conditioned your mind before marriage that no inlaw will visit you. You dont marry a man n expect him cut off his family coz of you, who you be? If no one can live with you, it means you have a bad mind. Space Kor, go into isolation if u need space.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its easy to judge her, we dont know how big or small the apartment is... the amount of food they consume.
      Imagine comin back from work & you cant even take off your top then walk to the kitchen with just bra, its easy to condemn when uve not walked in her shoes. In-laws should know when theyve overstayed their welcome, your husband should know the kind of woman he married, even if shes acting irrationally, he should come up with an excuse & send them away, would u only complain wen theyve stayed for 10yrs? Married couple need alone time to bond... poster, dont feel bad, they should know better, as long as u didnt insult them to their faces, abeg reclaim ur boundary, unaplogetically, hypocrites that dont know how mch u endured will judge and call you names, ask ur husband for forgiveness and tell him we humans are different, there are certain scenarios we wouldnt do well, and ure not proud of it.

      Delete
    2. Your first sentence is nonsense.

      Delete
    3. Bond fire! Bond wetin, who bonding epp? they be bonding yet stories of cheating abound?

      Delete
    4. Very soon she won't see boundary to reclaim cos she will have all the space alone when yoga checks out of the marriage.

      Delete
    5. Correct yarn @Blackey
      Naija girls matter taya me o.
      Them no dey prepare for marriage,
      na only wedding day them dey prepare for.
      They don't even understand wetin marriage mean ma ncha.
      Please go to Youtube and watch "My mother in law" by
      Gloria Bamiloye (released two days ago), maybe it will help you girls understand
      marriage a bit.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Delete
    6. What are you people saying?

      First of all, the hubby lied to her (y'all didn't see that) and was never specific about their plans. If she did same and brought her family members to their home like that to stay till further notice, will he like or tolerate it? No!

      Secondly it's his home as well as her home so he should be in agreement with her b4 doing things as if shes just a property who shouldn't have feelings or have a say on what happens in her home.

      However poster, you were very wrong to have given them attitude and I believe there could have been a way to handle it without the whole drama.
      I honestly don't know what to advice you but I think if there's someone in his family who you know has your back and he respects, you can go to the person and explain all that happened so you can be adviced on how to go about asking for your hubby's and FIL's forgiveness.

      Delete
    7. Anon, you say "he should send them away" people that raised him, practically made him what he is? God abeg o.
      How much she endured? Only 10 months... A sick man, hmm
      I am in shock
      Even oyinbo people take care kf their parents.

      Delete
    8. @push up... So if the posters father should also fall sick, God forbid, and decides to come stay with them, and brings one brother along, how would they cope? Why must it always be the man‘s family? Why can’t African extended family leave their children in peace to get married? Is it only men whose family takes care of and train? Isn’t it same for women too?

      Delete
  4. Married people come and advice her..

    Let me just drop this one... Nne you used your hand and destroyed your home.. No wisdom at all. Fighting people that were not fighting you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this issue should really be discussed, yes everyone likes their space but what happens to old parents who need a place to stay and proper care?

      Should we throw our old ones away? We dont have options like old peoples homes in Nigeria, and even the ones available are very expensive so what happens to them?

      Please, i am appealing to young married people, be considerate to your inlaws, i am not saying condone the rude ones but where theres no other options please make exceptions.

      All these attitude no dey solve anything.

      Delete
  5. They never gave you trouble so why couldn't you accommodate them??? We all like our space but this situation is exactly one of the sacrifices we talk about that one should be ready to make in marriage. My dear you were very wrong in the way you handled things. You should start apologising to everyone of them if you are still interested in that marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will be shouting "for better for worse" then a mans sick father will come around and they will be looking for space. Aunty poster, by the time your hubby sends you away, you will get all the space you want in your fathers compound.

      Delete
  6. What is wrong with her wanting her space? Oyibo people don't have this nonsense problems Kmt. Why is the husband bringing everybody to come and stay ? Why can't the father be in a hospital? I dont get you people nobody is saying don't look or cater for your family but even the bible says that when you overstay somewhere it becomes uncomfortable. Even me when I visit my sister I stay 1 week max, my parents don't stay more than 1 week either there is something called boundaries but yeah maybe how you went about it was harsh but I can't fault you for wanting your space

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you read the reason for them staying over? So a man shouldn't take care of his father or nurse him back to good health by bringing him home where he will be most comfortable, have good food and care while the doctor checks on him, because he married you?

      Delete
    2. 15:08
      This is the color of Naija girls.
      Everything "oyinbo people, oyinbo people"
      Are they your role models? Are you in Oyinbo land.
      it beats me what you ladies see in Oyinbos that you copy everything. Why not talk about
      Scriptures; God's standard for marriage, talk about our (good) culture e.g. the extended family system.
      Talk about humanity?
      Please nobody invaded this ladies space. She did not tell us that there aren't
      enough rooms in that house. She herself said that she "messed up".

      Delete
    3. So he should stay for 10yrs before she complains abi

      Delete
    4. Just shut up.which oyinbo people don’t have which problem?i live in oyinbo country and parents,especially sick ones stay with their kids all the time.The wife in this case is the problem.You have finally ruined you’re marriage that should be permanent with something very temporary as your husbands family staying with you.

      Delete
    5. Anon 15:26,its your type that will still cross desert to taste the same oyinbo.

      Delete
    6. 15:30 according to the bible- a man shall leave and cling to his wife- without plenty baggage to overwhelm the poor new wife, please let her be, her husband is incentive and I don't blame her

      Delete
    7. 16:15 did you read the reason for the father coming over or you are just intentionally obtuse๐Ÿคฆ‍♀️

      Delete
    8. @16:15
      INSENSITIVE -that's the correct spelling.
      If you consider your in-laws baggage, do not marry.
      Or at least, look for somebody raise in an orphanage
      who has no known relatives inugo?
      You quoted bible first okwa ya: ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
      Ephesians 6:2 2“Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise),
      3“that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”…

      You see as you carry hand dey reduce ya life-span by yasef. The day ya mama dey sick
      come ya house, carry broom pursue am inugo?
      ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Delete
    9. Anon 15:08, is the man that cannot increase monthly feeding allowance that will go and collect hospital bed for 18months? Abi you think hospital bed is 100 naira per day? ๐Ÿ˜‚

      I swear many of you women are unrealistic

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Firstly the Bible says a man leaves his father Nd mother and cleaves to his wife or something like that. So it’s you and him before anybody else. If he knows u like ur space y is he bringing his family ? And you too u shld not v given them attitude , since u say they were not disturbing u. I like my space too so I understand. Poster go and see your father in law and apologies deeply to him, u can start by sending texts during this covid , very warm messages he might not respond but just keep sending. Once covid is over go and see him and beg him cos u did him wrong fam . Once you make peace with ur fil ur husband will most likely warm up cos ur fil will tell him u v been begging him, then use that window to beg ur hubby too .

      Delete
    2. @Unusual Amy
      You see as you jump go quote Bible first?
      Ephesians 6:2 2“Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise),
      3“that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”…

      You see as you carry hand dey reduce ya life-span by yasef. The day ya mama dey sick
      come ya house, carry broom pursue am inugo?
      ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
      I will advice you to go and watch "My Mother In law", a movie by Gloria Bamiloye,
      posted two days ago on Youtube.

      Delete
    3. Anon 18:45 pls don’t mention that movie. It was scripted to point fingers mostly on the wife. I hope you know the husband, MIL and bride were all guilty in the movie. The two MIL did not mirror Christ initially.The husband did not mirror Christ, in short, the movie is only pushing cultural and selfish notions that lay every mistake on new wives. Women are getting HBP in their 20s and 30s now o!! A wife does not have to keep bending to please her in-laws if her husband is not reciprocating to his in-laws also. Poster, you and your hubby are guilty, this life na jeje! We can all show a little bit more love to one another.

      Delete
  8. Stella, shes not a wicked witch!
    I also like my personal space, someone around makes me feel im under a microscope, subconsciously i'd be considering you in all i do, every step i take, every key i turn, every wine i pour... that becomes self draining as your stay goes from a welcomed smile to a frowned hello.
    Your husband should know what irks you, yet he fed you to the wolves with sauce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tolerance and compromise..ever heard of those words?

      Delete
    2. ...yet she feels terrible. Why does she feel guilty then?

      A wise Mongolian monk would have told her to learn how to choose her battles.

      Delete
    3. Thank you.

      Delete
    4. Hahahahahahha....
      I know where youre driving to Kami.
      Anyway, she feels bad cus she has a conscience, a wicked witch wouldnt feel a pinch, but it wasnt just enough to sacrifice her sanity for their comfort.

      Delete
    5. I think her husband is overreacting.

      Delete
    6. Sanity? when they did not give her any problem?

      Delete
    7. ๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿตkamikaze!! oxygen alias Macbeth,wellcome o

      Delete
    8. Dont forget we all have a breaking point, it goes hand in hand with how mch we can tolerate.. she tried it for over a year then she caved, yours might be 5-10yrs who knows?!
      Their presence alone is a problem.

      Delete
  9. Stella all these wicked DILs fear them. They and up becoming wicked MILs in the future. I don't pity most of them when they send their sobs stories in. Look at the one who beat her MIL in spontaneous post and was still bragging she won't apologise.

    Look here poster. It's been some months your husband has been ignoring you and you are just asking if you did anything wrong. As it is right now, you are married to yourself. Your husband has another woman already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind her. They even brought their last born to be taking care of him so as not to inconvenient her. What if the old man came alone and you were meant to take care of him what would you do?

      Delete
    2. Stella, I disagree with you on this. You might not have been able to endure what she endured.. She was only human and nobody is perfect.

      My dear, you should have reconciled with your husband before now. His mind is far gone and I don't know if you have a child already.. Let your parents try and settle both of you. Humble yourself if you still want to remain in your marriage.
      Goodluck.

      Delete
    3. This is the real ajuju? She sounds like a house wife,if she was a little busy,she wouldn't have noticed every.

      Delete
    4. Her home is not a hospital.

      Delete
    5. 16:13 But when the man could feel comfortable at home compared to the hospital and have his family around him while the doctor checks on him every now and then, They should dump him there because Almighty Mrs would throw a tantrum?

      Delete
    6. Anon 16:13, you’re right. But the real question is, could a man who couldn’t afford to increase feeding budget for two extra adults mouths afford hospital bed bills?

      Delete
    7. Your husband's family who have been there for him all these years before you married him needed his assistance, without causing you much disturbance, but you are so blind by your selfishness, the only thing on your mind is you want your space, shior....

      Delete
    8. My question is, how many bedrooms do they have? We should know this before judging the poster...

      Delete
  10. Where wicked witch pass enter this matter Stella? She's human, she needed her space.

    Madam calm down, you over reacted by giving them attitude. Your husband too could not manage the situation.

    Apologize to your husband and also to your father inlaw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err...the 'wicked witch' could be because she didn't care enough to know her father-in-law's ailment even after a year and a half.

      How are you doing, Swaggie?

      Delete
    2. @Swag and Aproko
      So why is she writing chronicles, does she have enough space now?
      If she doesn't do the right thing, the husband may vacate for her
      so that her space will increase.
      Be there defending a lady that admitted that she messed up.

      Delete
    3. She is not wicked, my mum inlaw is so good to me but i wouldn't want to live with her more than a month in my house, let's stop pretending, this poster is better than some of us here.

      Delete
    4. @Queen...I am telling you. My own mother is so cool and very very open minded, and so are my siblings, but I can’t live with any of them for more than two weeks. I do so so love my space. Everybody is different. This woman is basically the stranger in her own house now. Three people from the same family and her....

      Delete
  11. Naija sisi dem and their evil vendetta against their in laws.

    Congratulations on all the space you have right now. Enjoy freely rolling from one corner to the other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Kamikaze
      Has ang changed her name to Kamikaze?

      Delete
  12. Poster you no try oh...That's not just try and apologized to your husband and the family.Your husbands in laws are your family too... Don't create more problems for yourself

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are wrong and you know it, it’s even evident in your chronicle as you kept emphasizing on giving them serious attitude.

    From your own mouth, you admitted that your in-laws weren’t even problematic so how is your husband wrong when he said you hate his family? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️

    Proverbs 14: 1 says “A wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears her home down with her own hands” Sis, you know which one best describes you here..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's not wrong. She only overreacted. The husband didn't help matters either. I'm happy she acknowledged that the in - laws are trouble free, but she still needed her space. It's ok if they come and stay for a short while from time to time, but making her home their permanent residence... That's not cool at all.

      Delete
    2. 15:28 Even when the situation was unavoidable huh? They ought to sleep on the street right? Birds of a feather.
      Looks Here! I hope you know when that his father and his mother gets old, they will have no other place to live except in that her husbands house who happens to be their son. We don't have old people's home in Nigeria. Maybe by then this poster would run away from the house in her desperation to get privacy. Mtsheww

      Delete
    3. Anonymous 15:28 Stop giving advice that even you cannot take..Who talked about permanent residence here..You sef go old one day you hear..You dont start a war when there is peace..

      Delete
    4. When any of parent is I'll,and you bring them in and your spouse says you shouldn't make it their permanent house,then you can comment. Do you think old folks like going around to put up with their kids longer than necessary?

      Delete
    5. Sleep on which street? Did they come from the streets?
      Abeg leave talk, human beings will inconvinience you till you cant endure anymore, then they label you wicked when u finally complain.
      She even tried sef for one year plus, my own na 6 months. I cant abeg

      Delete
    6. 16:15 They didn't come from the street but when they came he ought to send the father back to the village instead of treating him where he can keep an eyes on him right? Do you know that the man was ill and was having his treatment and that was why he came? Her conscience couldn't even make her mention the state of his illness. She can't too and she has seen the result of her actions let her deal with it and stop bothering bvs

      Delete
    7. The husband should have rented an apartment close by, so the brother who came with the father can stay with him. They could have checked on him everyday, and that’s it...The husband only thinks about himself. He doesn’t even seek his wife‘s opinion. He just brings them...

      Delete
  14. "I know I messed up..."
    "I want bvs to tell me if I am wrong"

    Wawu! Shuoooooooooorrr -I confuse o no be small. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    Nne, you are unrepentant and na pack up you dey pack up ya marriage so.
    A wise woman builds her home but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down; Proverbs 14:1
    See as you carry hand scatter ya marriage finish? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    Make I ask you ajuju o
    If ya brother or father were the ones in that house, you for nag and do like "person wey scorpion bite?"
    If ya papa never well, you for pursue am commot?
    Nne, you have no supporter among your in-laws.

    Solution: Begin from Jesus first -fast and pray -muster self control and drop nagging abilities.
    Then, begin to court your husband...and tell him how sorry you are for disrespecting your parents (in law). If you can, watch that movie; "My Mother in law" its on Youtube.

    Next, you have to travel with him and unconditionally apologize to your in-laws whom you offended. And nne, do not go empty handed.
    ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only time I agree with this stupid ANG

      Delete
    2. 15:20 That’s not nice. ๐Ÿ˜’

      Delete
    3. @15:20
      You still shoot me (poisoned) arrows,
      in "agreeing with me?"
      Chai Naija girls. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    4. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ what’s going on anon 15.20

      Delete
    5. Poster, here comes a solution . I feel you. My MIL had been around for 9yrs.She came for introduction, wedding was in 2weeks and just never left. I also have a 40yrs old BIL staying with us. Grandma, washes his clothes and boxers. She will pack up after he eats and wash up. Despite his elder brother's warning for all to stay at home, this uncle goes out everyday without considering the fact that he is putting us all at risk.

      Having in-laws around isn't always interesting but I learnt to deal with them with maturity and wisdom. You are even lucky yours don't give you problems, mine do and since I know there objective is to cause trouble in my home and scatter it, I do everything to be without blame. My objective is to be the last man standing. So I overlook so many things . They don't help me with anything, sometimes when I greet my BIL, he will not answer. Yet,i ensure I do my best to be blameless before God.
      God has away of strengthening one in times like this. He will give you peace during times you are meant to have flared up.
      First, accept Christ. Pray for wisdom and be humble enough to go any length to correct things.
      If your husband doesn't follow you to his parents, go alone, apologise, tell them you were just being naive. Get baba to come back otherwise, spend sometime with his family. After repeated efforts, your husband will give in.

      Delete
    6. Anon 15:20...Not cool to call someone stupid because you don't usually agree with them.

      Delete
    7. 15:20, you and me both ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    8. That person calling ANG stupid, your IQ no reach her own oh. If you dont like her comments here that understandable.. but calling her stupid is a lie

      Delete
    9. Hello @AdaBekee ๐Ÿ™‚

      Delete
    10. @Rambo
      Please who is Ada Bekee?

      Delete
  15. "I love my space"
    That's the diction of nagging women.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is why it is good to plan marriage more than wedding,
    Did you have these discussions before you married your husband?
    As a person you really need to have an open mind cos trust me anything can happen in this life,
    Let me narrate a story here my dad had a heart attack and was flown out guess who was rooting for him to be brought over to America? My brother in law.
    My sister was so scared that my dad wouldn't survive but my brother in law didn't relent, my dad had to be there for more than a year with the support of us all.

    Let me ask you this if my sister was reacting the way you're reacting do you think her husband would be rooting for my dad to stay in their house rather than us renting an apartment?
    My point is in life nothing is sure treat people nicely ,at least you were honest that their presence didn't bother you .

    Learn to be more accommodating and know how to present issues to your husband , sometimes its not the things you say but how it's being said.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Madam poster you didn't do well at all. Even if their presence was peppering you in the body. There are other mild ways to go about things like this. Don't you know that when you marry a man you marry his family as well. So you should know how to treat them right.
    The only solution to this is to apologise to your husband and his family members as well. That's all o

    ReplyDelete
  18. This woman is broken already, no need to cast more stones. Madam, we all love our space & want our partner to ourselves. At this point, you have to make peace, peace with yourself, your hubby & his family. Have you prayed? Forgive yourself, beg your husband to stop nagging, visit your in-laws with gifts & apologise to them since you said they didn't give you troubles during their stay. Pursue peace ma'am & take it to God in prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  19. eiya madam you see your life? now you want advise, the deed has been done you got the space you craved for. you can only remedy it by seriously apologizing to your in laws, but just bear it in mind that you are wicked woman honestly. this one came you chased him away the sick man came, thats why the had to add the young boy so they wont disturb you while in your home yet you still used your wickedness to send them away. oya clap for yaself.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well atleast stella was able to tell you exactly what you are. Nothing lard forever and they were never going to live with you forever, For better for worse they say. You have your space now so enjoy it to the fullest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she will enjoy it.
      How long will she endure? In laws can overstay if you let them, yet food has reduced, saving for something better too will also reduce, cant he help from a distance? Must they stay in same house?

      Delete
    2. You are wrong woman and you. Know it better apologize to your in-laws because you don't know tomorrow,it could be your turn.Nobody want sickness but when it comes even you might need favour from your enemies

      Delete
  21. For a newly married couple, I know you need your space and privacy to bond and all of that.
    The manner in which your brother Inlaw left wasn't nice. Sometimes, we should learn to accommodate family, you never can tell what would happen tomorrow.
    Now you have ruined that closeness and friendship you could have had with him.
    As for your father inlaw, no one prays to be sick. As we grow older, we tend to fall sick often. Our parents need Xtra care and attention.
    Yes, your father inlaw was supposed to be in the hospital, but whatever reasons made your hubby bring him home, I don't know but I feel like he felt he would be more comfortable and well monitored from his house.
    If your father or mother comes to your house in that same condition, would you like it if your husband gave them same attitude?
    I'm sure you did worse than you wrote here now.
    Truth is, you don't see him as your father.
    As for the upkeep money, he should have increased it considering there were more mouths to feed or maybe he didn't have.
    On your own and as the woman of the house, what was your own contribution towards it all? Is your husband the only person who should provide?
    Some of you need to learn how to be patient, tolerant, considerent and loving towards your family.
    Find a way to make amends with them.
    This whole thing will shake your marriage. When you show your partner you don't love their family, they withdraw.
    Go to your father Inlaw and beg him. Ask for his forgiveness and accept responsibility for your behaviiur towards them. You can go with either of your parents or older sibling.
    Learn to be accommodating.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Madam, You are in long thing... if the money your husband was providing wasn't enough why can't you explain kindly to him, instead of making your home a living hell for your in-laws.
    You need to apologize to your husband and family and be very sincere about it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doesnt he have sense to know theres more mouth to feed? And why'd you think she didnt tell him?

      Delete
  23. You're wrong, when you get married into a family, automatically your in-laws becomes your relatives, not friends, not foes. You're to treat them same way you treat your immediate family members. The deed has been done, no need flogging a dead horse. Go to your in-laws and apologize, don't apologize on phone, tell them you're sorry, don't try to put the blame on anybody or anything, Own your mistake. I pray they forgive you. Also apologize to your husband.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Summary u r wicked. Bad things is that u dont work. D day this man ll leave u, others too will chase u from their house cos they want their privacy. My advice call and apologise. It's never too late to start afresh.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster gerraout of here. People like you na no get your own space talkless of your own room for your papa house. Dey dey chant" like my space like my space".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay, this is funny. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
  26. Dear Poster you allowed your emotions take a lot from you..I don't want to say you are a sociopath cos you have showed no empathy at all..Do you even know the actual illness of your father in law? You never stated what you have done for your father in law since he came, have you even taken care of him? Your hubby's brother was brought in so that you wont carry the burden of taking care of your Father in Law..Haba dont you have parents and siblings? You are just being unfair to your husband and his family and all actions have shown that you dislike his family.

    You broke another golden rule: You reported your hubby to his friend concerning money..A simple issue that both of you will calm down and resolve..DO YOU WANT TO DESTROY YOUR FAMILY WOMAN!!

    You have a deep seated issue..Madam just go and apologize to your hubby and ask for his forgiveness and behave like a well brought up woman..Take care of your father in law so you can derive your blessings from him not from your biological father alone..Make your home a happy family and ask God to help you purge this bitterness..

    Then go and see a therapist you have deep seated issues that you are yet to resolve with yourself..Go and sin no more woman!! All the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na dem Nah! Me and my husband crew.

      Delete
    2. Tell slutty to share the nkowbi I gave her with you

      Delete
    3. I hope they forgive her cos she went overboard with her actions

      Delete
    4. She couldn't even mention the kind of attitude she gave them. Maybe she was hissing up and down like a frog or she didn't greet the FIL whenever she saw him. For them to leave she has already overstepped her boundary to stupor. She and her husband hasn't even spoken for months and you think the man hasn't been sorting himself outside?

      Delete
    5. Big Banty you are funny...hahahahahah

      Delete
  27. You messed up big time

    Me i love my space a lot but i can live with anyone no matter how troublesome you are but in your case....they were not giving you any issue
    Try and apologise to your husband... make peace with him
    Call his family and apologise too... except you are ready to leave the marriage
    To err is human... you have erred, try and make things right
    I WISH YOU WELL

    ReplyDelete
  28. Eishh...Stella that's so mean. She might just be an introvert and you know they don't easily adapt to certain situations. Most of them are highly emotional. May be she's needs time and some encouragement from her hubby instead of always attacking her or emotionally blackmailing her.

    Hey poster, get to talk things out with your hubby, okay? I think your husband is just a loud mouth who can't keep things you guys discussed in your bedroom.
    Also, get to control your emotions or they would ruin you. You'll be fine. Stay safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please tell her the truth.

      Don't insult her husband he did nothing wrong. So He should keep quiet while she keeps frustrating him to throw his family out of the house for no offence at all? Especially When she knew the father needed medical attention. What reason would he give them for telling them to leave his house? You want him to take the blame for her wicked ways? Mbanu

      Delete
  29. You're a witch, a wicked soul.
    They aren't bothering you but you keep nagging him to send his family away from home.

    You need help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Their presence is bothering her, i know how she feels. That doesnt make her a witch

      Delete
    2. She a witch, I repeat, she selfish and self absorbed.
      Them go show you for this one ..

      Delete
  30. You love your space, they also maintained their space despite living with you still you ain't satisfied nor grateful for those people (you never meet people that will even want to chase you out of your own space before abi?) . You should have tried to see them differently rather than an invader of privacy, Maybe things would have turn out well on both sides!

    Your problem is that you are not accommodating at all.. If you start procreating, chase your kids out you hear just because you love your space.


    Start apologizing and mean it starting with your husband then down to your inlaw with positive changes ofcourse.

    A mistake is a mistake only when not repeated.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I pray you're able to reconcile with them because if that old man dies anytime soon or before reconciliation you hear am for everybody.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I've always been an introvert all my life. I got married and hubby brought his 2 brothers and a friend to be staying with us. As a newly married, I was taking care of 4 men till date. I've never given them any attitude because I accepted my fate and the fact they can't live with us forever. Diplomacy and wisdom is needed in this thing called marriage. I have a toddler and currently pregnant so, you can imagine how stressful it has been for me.
    You should have just asked your husband to get you a help. You treated your in laws bad period

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This your own not follow.
      This one is sufferhead.
      A friend and two brothers and you have been stressed with pregnancy.
      Nor go kill yourself.
      Hope you have a maid and they help around

      Delete
  33. Don't judge the poster marriage isn't easy especially when extended family comes to stay. I think you should go and visit his father and apologise, he might have enjoyed his stay if u were more tolerant.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Transferring the aggression to your innocent father in-law is a bad character. Just imagine your own father in that scenario. I think You now have the space you are craving for, so enjoy it with quilts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt if she has parents.
      Selfish thing.

      Delete
  35. Wow!

    You did wrong. You deprived them of their brother's/son's care and assistance.
    Did you put yourself in their shoes and asked yourself if you will feel better if your husband treated your siblings/parents in such a manner? I'm sure you didn't.
    As humans, we should learn to accommodate others. You were really mean to them.
    I'll advice you to call your BIL and FIL and beg for forgiveness. If it means going down to wherever your FIL is to seek for forgiveness. You treated him so badly ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข And to think he was sick!. I can imagine how hurtful it was for him to be thrown out of his son's house simply because his DIL didn't want him around. Beg that man for forgiveness.
    For your husband, seek his forgiveness also. Ask his friends to plead on your behalf. Do everything possible to mend what you've shattered by yourself. The truth is, your marriage may not remain the same if you don't act right and fast!

    I hope you've learnt from this. Nothing matters in this life except Christ. Learn to be at peace with all men. I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She didnt deprive them anything, didnt they stay for over a year? Eating her food. Abeg shift

      Delete
    2. Eating her food? Her food? You say? Don't make me laugh please.

      Delete
  36. I'm guessing that as a kid you didn't like to share. You're selfish. Without your in laws your marriage would still be rough because you're clingy. I'm sure you also hate it when your husband gets visitors (not the holiday kind). You have to change your behavior. Apologize to his entire family

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster u are not much of a nice person, if these your in-laws are women nko? Men hardly give troubles! Moreover ur husband’s younger brother came with his dad nd he would take care of him not u, so which job were u doing for ur father in law wey be big deal for u? Don’t u have ur own room? Are they disturbing you? Pls apologise to your husband! Nd his people

    ReplyDelete
  38. If u finish chasing dem away bcos of ur precious space, God forbid somtin serious happen to him i hope u knw his people r d ones dat will be running around looking for solutions, not ur stupid precious space. Be careful u can't win dis battel u r calling for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Again Poster just to let you know..I know of a family that the daughter treated her in-laws very well that everyone loves her so much..When she and her husband were having issues..Omo come and see how her in-laws came for the husband - They didnt even treat him as their son they all stood up for her..Be wise Madam..

      Delete
  39. You and Jezebel are sibling, am sure you don't have a personal room in your father's house but you are claiming to need personal space, wicked woman that's what you are

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe what you wrote. I believe she doesn't have a room to herself in her father's house.
      Omo a'toko wa ba'le je.

      Delete
    2. I believe what you wrote. I believe she doesn't have a room to herself in her father's house.
      Omo a'toko wa ba'le je.

      Delete
  40. Poster you no try at all. You had an opportunity to treat your in-laws well and sow an everlasting seed in your husband's heart and you blew it just because you like your space.You could have easily come out on the other side of this with lots of praise as a virtuous woman and blessings from your FIL. How has that space helped you now? You have antagonised your in-laws and driven your husband further away. And you said it yourself that they did not interfere or give you any issues. How is it difficult to be kind to your in-laws? You had an opportunity to lay a solid foundation for your 3 year old marriage. I don't not think you are nice person innately and there's no amount of advice you can give to an innately unkind person. You sincerely need the help of God to change you inside out.

    I'm also a kind of person that likes my space but when it comes to my in laws, who are wonderful people by the way and make it easy, I see it as sowing seeds of love into my husband's heart and my way of appreciating his mum who did a fine job raising him.

    I think you should do a deep soul search. Ask God to forgive you. Don't make excuses for your bad behaviour. Give your husband some time and apologise to him and his family and work hard to rebuild their trust. And never forget this, going against your in-laws, especially if they are good people, never ever ends well.

    ReplyDelete
  41. As long as they are not coming to live with you forever,I don’t think it should be a problem if folks from both side come once in a while.Family is all we got.A husband can leave,a wife can go but family will remain family.Treat them well

    ReplyDelete
  42. I know it is not easy having people around as a newlywed especially if you are someone that like your space. But there is something called patience and tolerance, you shouldn't have given them attitude knowing that your father in-law is sick you should have tolerated them sure they can't be with you forever. Please go on your knees and apologize to your husband and also your in-law. Before you do please pray to God to soften there heart. All the best. #gift#

    ReplyDelete
  43. You should cry go in your kneels beg your husband and your in-laws, tell them it was change in hormone that made you to behave like that.


    You need to beg your husband first, win his love back and promise to go and beg his father. Madam men dislike when women complain alot about their families.

    I think you are a full housewife, you should get a job that will help you alot.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I love Perxian9 April 2020 at 15:55

    I love my space too, but considering the Dad was ill and most importantly,they weren't giving you problems then you would v just worked around your emotions.... take breaks, get a job or hobby or something. Anyways, my 2 cents is pray, seek God's face, do everything possible to get Hubby to forgive you then next get an elder to talk/beg your FIL. You need to redeem your image somehow and that might include getting them to come back. BTW, I think you have got a good heart thus the conscience prick. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This font name is giving me life. ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿฅฐ

      Delete
    2. I love Perxian9 April 2020 at 17:59

      Hahahaha! thats the aim

      Delete
  45. Its wickedness in highest order. I also feel you're quite young.



    We are not oyinbo nah. We are Africans. So their family should not come to thier son's house because he's married? The son that they raised,paid school fees and possibly set up? You're going to be a mother in law someday. Before you make a decision, sit down and ask yourself, if they were in my shoe,how would I react? That's called empathy, love. You need to apologize ! A big one ohh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How tf is early thirties quite young? Like how???

      Delete
  46. Madam poster, you are not nice, you shouldn't had treated your in-laws in that manner in as much as they are not troublesome. Remember you have a parent too, what will you do if the table is turn around?

    ReplyDelete
  47. You are not wise, neither are you mature enough for marriage.
    I won’t be surprised if people tell you you did nothing wrong, but don’t listen to them, you did. You were wrong by lacking tolerance. You had a father-in-law and someone to take care of him, that even shows it’s not an inconsiderate family. An inconsiderate family will even ask you to cater to the father yourself. The only burden on you was to cook and accommodate, right?
    Mend this? You will have to eat the humble pie and start asking for forgiveness. Unfortunately your husband’s emotions ‘gave out’ also, otherwise, his family shouldn’t have heard your quarrel. Now they know you hate their presence, which makes this a very sticky situation. I will advice you beg you father-in-law and your husband for forgiveness, you messed up.
    What will it cost us to be humble? Will you like to be denied the opportunity to look after your sick mum/dad at their old age? You have issues. A wise woman stoops to conquer. You would have got them out without confrontation if you had genuine care for his father’s health, it would have shaped the way you would have approached the issue. Not all battles are worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Wicked woman and you think you're only married to your husband abi? Stella they was a time a had a big issue with my husband a very big one that I nearly packed my bags. I managed to tell my mother in law and that was how all of them both FIL, BILs SILs carry fight come for my husband. My MIL and FIL nearly arrest him I was the one begging them to have mercy on him and mind you he's the first child. Before you know it, he came begging like a kid with so many goodies and I can tell you that my husband have changed totally after that incident. So when you make your husband in laws your second sweet heart you will see how they will carry your matter for head. Nne you messed up. You're just like someone I know, they wouldn't want they husbands in law to come close but will prefer her own family to stay forever with her. You're wicked period.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Wicked woman and you think you're only married to your husband abi? Stella they was a time a had a big issue with my husband a very big one that I nearly packed my bags. I managed to tell my mother in law and that was how all of them both FIL, BILs SILs carry fight come for my husband. My MIL and FIL nearly arrest him I was the one begging them to have mercy on him and mind you he's the first child. Before you know it, he came begging like a kid with so many goodies and I can tell you that my husband have changed totally after that incident. So when you make your husband in laws your second sweet heart you will see how they will carry your matter for head. Nne you messed up. You're just like someone I know, they wouldn't want they husbands in law to come close but will prefer her own family to stay forever with her. You're wicked period.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Stupid woman! Go and beg your father in law. You want your space? You should have stayed single and I hope you have boys as well?

    ReplyDelete
  51. Madam you were self-centered. Your in-laws didnt give you stress yet you get them attitude. How much were you even bringing to the table?

    ReplyDelete
  52. I love Perxian9 April 2020 at 16:30

    Poster,I forgot to mention,if your FIL dies (God forbid) without your apology, kindred people might frustrate your life and your conscience go flog you tire o.
    Some will even say you killed him so please do your damage control ASAP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true. I know someone this happened to. The in-laws refused her entry to the compound during the burial. It severed the marriage so much and led the man to take a second wife.
      Please apologise to your FIL and BIL ASAP .

      Delete
  53. All these people calling the Poster a witch should please stop it. Not everyone grew up in a large family where they had to share space and are used to it. Even some with such background don't want it when they grow up. There's nothing wrong with the Poster's desire for her and her husband to live alone especially as their marriage is young.

    Poster, I advise you to learn Tobe more tolerant and compromise. You admitted that your in laws have caused you no trouble although with the present situation, I don't know how they will treat you. Your husband also did wrong in bringing what should have been a private conversation out in the open.

    I suggest you apologise to him and the family. Also, get a job to keep you busy so you're not around to notice things that might upset you.

    ReplyDelete
  54. They did not give you any stress then why act that way?
    You should have observed your hubby is a family man.
    My own is when you come ,you don't help with anything,and you want me to slave but if you help around,no matter how little,you don't intrude in our privacy by gossiping or jamming our heads,you don't fly. you are good.
    I would accommodate byou.
    First go and beg the father,
    What you did was very wrong since they are peaceful
    Beg the brother, forget pride.
    Beg your hubby.
    How can you and your hubby keep malice for months.
    It's a wrong atmosphere to raise kids.
    The longest in my home was five days for the first time this year.
    In between my hubby wanted us to just move on by normal gisting ,I refused.
    When I tire we last last flowed,two weeks after we discussed the issue.
    Go and apologize please.
    This is not worth your people not having peace

    ReplyDelete
  55. Poster, what is done is done. What you need to do is damage control and repair and this will take a long time as it will de difficult to earn your husband's trust back. Get your mum or dad to go with you to your inlaw's place for serious begging. Tell your parents to abuse you well well when you get there. Cry clutch your father in law's feet and ask for forgiveness. I also loooove my own space. But when I had to care for my FIL I did do with joy. You know why ? Because he was a very good man who raised the man I fell in love with singlehandedly. We even live in obodo oyinbo and it would have been far easier to get him into a good hospital or a good old people's home. But old people respond better to treatment in their own surroundings with their own family around them. Madam, let this be a big teachable moment for you.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Poster my dear don't mind them!!!!
    You tried very well. I am trying to understand how long one year and six months is , plus seven months!!! that means in your three year marriage you have only been alone with your husband for only eleven months!!! They could have even stayed longer had you been hospitable. Chaiii No one is looking at if your husband prepared your mind for such long visits? No one is asking why your husband lied that his brother would stay for only three weeks which turned seven months!!! No one!!! This is why I pray to God that in my next life, I want to be a man cause I see lots of women taking bull shit and even fellow women would throw more shit on their fellow women!!! Stella this woman is NOT A WITCH PLEASE!!! SHE IS NOT USED TO HAVING PEOPLE IN HER SPACE PLEASE!!! She told us the truth! She didn't paint words now everyone has turned judge and jury for SHITS THEY KNOW THEY CAN'T TAKE!!! NO ONE IS ASKING WHY HER HUBBY DIDN'T INCREASE UPKEEP MONEY!!! But wants her to multiply the money as a money doubler that she is abi!!!! In my next life God I have to come as a man!!!
    All of you condemning her MAY YOU GO THROUGH WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH. MAY YOUR IN-LAWS VISIT YOU AND STAY FOR YEARS WITHOUT CAUSING ANY PROBLEM.
    My dear the only wrong you did even though THEY PUSHED YOU is the attitude which honestly is inevitable ( Who stays with a new couple for a year and a half!!!!) If you can visit your father in law and apologize but don't ask them to come back. For the sake of peace talk to your husband even though HE SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED YOU ( All these big unreasonable babies our mothers raised that don't treat their women right but expect to be WORSHIPPED like God). Make peace and report every thing hubby does to God and be patient. Lots of hubby's out there will never change because you their wife is pointing them to the right direction but tell God all he's doing that you don't like and watch God treat his fuck up okay , work on yourself too, malice ain't good so ask God to help you stop that. You are a good woman don't let all these ignorant folks make you feel bad okay. You have a good conscience that was why you needed good advice!! Don't forget these words YOU ARE A GOOD WOMAN AND YOU WILL GET BETTER OKAY. LOVE AND PEACE TO YOUR HOME. Oriegwu really!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love Perxian9 April 2020 at 18:03

      Another angle..apt!

      Delete
    2. Thank you anon 17..36,none of them is talking about the upkeep money o.it is not he even increased the monthly allowance o,how did he expect you to sustain ?

      Delete
    3. 17:36 YOU SUPPORTING HER MAY YOU GO THROUGH WHAT HER FATHER IN LAW WENT THROUGH IN HER HANDS MAY YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW OR SON IN LAW TREAT YOU THE SAME WAY SHE TREATED HIM AND GIVE YOU ATTITUDE BECAUSE SITUATION BEYOND YOUR CONTROL BROUGHT YOU TO THEIR HOUSE. WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A HELPLESS SITUATION WHERE YOU NEED HELP OR ACCOMODATION FROM YOUR CHILDREN MAY YOU BE TREATED THE SAME WAYHER HUSBAND FAMILY WERE TREATED.

      LEARN TO COMMENT WITHOUT CURSING. ALL YOUR CUSRSE GO BACK TO YOU. EVEN STELLA CONDEMN HER SO BECAUSE YOU REASON DIFFERENTLY MEANT YOU SHOULD TALK STUPIDLY. MAY YOUR WISH BE UNTO YOU. AMEN.

      Delete
    4. 17:36 YOU SUPPORTING HER MAY YOU GO THROUGH WHAT HER FATHER IN LAW WENT THROUGH IN HER HANDS MAY YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW OR SON IN LAW TREAT YOU THE SAME WAY SHE TREATED HIM AND GIVE YOU ATTITUDE BECAUSE SITUATION BEYOND YOUR CONTROL BROUGHT YOU TO THEIR HOUSE. WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A HELPLESS SITUATION WHERE YOU NEED HELP OR ACCOMODATION FROM YOUR CHILDREN MAY YOU BE TREATED THE SAME WAYHER HUSBAND FAMILY WERE TREATED.

      LEARN TO COMMENT WITHOUT CURSING. ALL YOUR CUSRSE GO BACK TO YOU. EVEN STELLA CONDEMN HER SO BECAUSE YOU REASON DIFFERENTLY MEANT YOU SHOULD TALK STUPIDLY. MAY YOUR WISH BE UNTO YOU. AMEN.


      Stella post this comment oooo People should learnt to give a contrary comment without cursing. nonsense

      Delete
    5. @ I love Perxian pls there is nothing apt in that..

      Delete
    6. One sensible comment I have seen today. Thank you. As for me,no one stays in my house,no one. And I dont intend staying with anybody in old age. My grandmother did nit agree to stay with anybody,she had 9 married kids,same with my paternal grandmother. My mil and mother ,same thing.

      Delete
  57. May I n get be unfortunate to have another selfish woman in my life.

    You mean your husband’s father, the one whose name your husband gave you, na hin you take your eyes see finish so?

    You think if your husband had the means he wouldn’t have flown the man outside Nigeria or, at least, put him in a reputable Nigerian hospital? Hmm. Nigerian women, greetings o.

    ReplyDelete
  58. As much as you needed your space, thank God you also have a conscience. You said they never bothered you throughout their stay.
    Learn to communicate well with your spouse and also learn to accommodate and be friendly with your in laws. Life is too short to live in regret, God will help you poster

    ReplyDelete
  59. Poster go and make peace with your in laws. You need to go beg your FIL most importantly.
    The treatment you meted to your in laws, if your father and brothers are treated same way by you SIL will you like it? Or will you be happy to hear it? Won't you go and fight that SIL??
    Make peace, this life is too short for all this drama..

    ReplyDelete
  60. Useless twat. shame on you! what the fuck is all that shit about space??? I dont blame your husband. I can imagine how much this man will have suffered if you had the upper hand financially. I dont even know why the dude has not kicked your dirty arse out

    ReplyDelete
  61. @Stella why did you call this woman a witch? What about the husband that says, they will coming over briefly and they ended u staying longer than expected.

    This woman is not accomodating, fine, but if the husband is truthful and prepare the woman's mind is another thing. How can you drop the same amount when you have additional mouth to feed?

    @Chronicle, please try to work on your emotions. It takes a lot of effort but if you are determine you will overcome

    ReplyDelete
  62. You are very wrong madam..but Stella your comment is very harsh!

    ReplyDelete
  63. Hmm. Just one question. If it was your father that was sick and needed to come and stay, what would you have done. Better apologize and try to make things right. This is you using your hand to destroy your marriage. Abi you have space now with your husband not talking to you. You no try at all

    ReplyDelete
  64. I know exactly what poster is talking about because I have been there.
    Hubby mother fell ill with stroke. FIL health was also unstable so the children travelled home and planned on moving both parents to our place. 3yrs marriage, hubby was 3rd to last born, also I wasn't made aware of this plan not even on phone. Only for hubby to return and tell me that they have concluded for FIL, MIL and SIL or BIL to move to our place within 2days. I told him I understand the circumstances but would have been glad if I was informed earlier meanwhile I just recovered from an operation around that time so it was good that sil or bil will be there to help.
    Those 8months was the most demanding and testing time of me. Things were going fine initially until several issues set in. MIL started talking to me in unpleasant ways when I returned late from afternoon shift. Alot of things, hubby and I had more misunderstanding with virtually everything. I started spending more time at work. Days I am on afternoon shift, I will leave house morning and if I am on night, i will leave midday just to avoid the house. Without knowing i avoided everyone and only said goodmorning and goodnight to inlaws in the house with a very fake smile. The good thing was that we didnt joke with their health as we took them to hospital and she recovered from stroke.also FIL was better. My parents called me, advised and prayed for me to be tolerant as nothing is forever. Fortunately God surprised me and we were going to cross oceans so inlaws had to be moved to another son house. They thank me and we spoke on phone after they left.

    Poster your hubby complicated things for you. The attitude was enough to send the message, he didnt have to say it to the hearing of your inlaws that you didnt want them there. Well the manner in which they left was not good. Call them and make peace for your own sake and also apologise to hubby but let him also see his fault.
    I wish you well.
    Living with inlaws is never truly easy.
    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I am a married man. I think the man is selfish and inconsiderate. Why can't he put his wife first. If the wife is not comfortable with her inlaws cohabitating under the same roof, then she has done nothing wrong. She acted the way she did because of frustration.
    Please Stella , the woman is not wicked at all.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Stella you were too harsh with your words na haba. How can people come and be staying for 7 months/ 1 year plus. It's uncomfortable. If she starts bringing her own family members how will he feel? Na wa for Nigerians ooo. A woman would carry all the burden in this world toll she dies one day

    ReplyDelete
  67. This is how one man married a woman and the man's sister said she was coming for one week and ended up staying for more than 15years. The woman would cook and do everything. At the end of the day the woman died of bp. The man now wants to re-marry and his new wife said she would never leave with his sister and he has chased his sister away. You guys should not kill someone ooo. The in-laws should leave let her enjoy her marriage abeg

    ReplyDelete
  68. She's not wicked for wanting to have her own space please Stella stop that.

    Poster you could have been kinder and still have the same outcome. Personally as a child, we had family come and overstay their welcome and I vowed never to inconvenience my own children with long term guests. I lived abroad then, now I'm back in Nigeria and i have adjusted a bit, guests can come and stay in the guest chalet, so I always have my own privacy and space and they have accommodations that are comfortable but clearly temporary.

    Talk to your husband and apologize first and explain why you really want your own space and go the next step to show his family that you do likr them

    ReplyDelete
  69. You didn't behave well at all. What you did could cause serious problems in that family (likely a close knit one). You need to seek God's forgiveness, your husband's and his family. Try to be more tolerant, as there's a time for everything. After all, your husband's parents trained him into the man he has become, whom you saw and agreed to marry...now that it's your husband's turn to take care of his father, you didn't give him your support...not fair at all...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Their are many ways the couple can support his family other than cohabitating. The accommodation may not be enough for extended family.

      Delete
    2. You look like a brainless man, may your children treat you the way she treated her in-laws. She talked about the feeding money, didn't her mind let her know he husband was spending money on his father's health and psychologically, it was taking a toll on him?
      Can't you guys reason for once? Which nonsense space is she talking about? For a sick who didn't give her problems and who didn't wish to be sick. I wonder how you guys reason.

      Madam poster not only are you wicked, you are heartless and will die lonely.

      Delete
  70. If you like your space, don't marry into a close knit family, please...agaracha

    ReplyDelete
  71. If you like your space, don't marry into a close knit family, please...

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141