Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Mrs Dee's Corner - Friendships That Fade....

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Friday, April 17, 2020

Mrs Dee's Corner - Friendships That Fade....

Friendship is a beautiful experience when you find friendships who are worthy....








So I used to have this male buddy from when I was sixteen or thereabout, his name is Chike.

Chike was a good looking guy and even though he was a serial playboy, he was one young man who was kind to my family and never joked with my mum.


He was there to help me fill my jamb form online when I had difficulty getting it done. He never failed to help me out each time I asked .he was  a good friend.


The friendship however never moved to another level even though I might have considered him if he was serious enough (thank God he didn't).


When I got married, he honoured my invitation and it was only right for him to inform me that he was moving to the US and would love to see me before his flight took off...

He arrived in Lagos and we talked on phone on the day he would visit and I promised to send him directions to our house in the evening to enable him locate our residence.


I was heavily pregnant then and was kinda self conscious that he would see me with the fat face, darker complexion, clumsy walk and the signature nose of most pregnant women.

 I was torn between cancelling our meeting or letting him visit. But I couldn't bring myself to call him and tell him not to come again, so I chose the easy way out and ignored his calls.

He called me several times, but I just let it ring without answering.

After that day, guilt made me not to even call and apologise or try to explain why I was unavailable.

We were friends on facebook, but after that day, he blocked me and changed his username. I couldn't reach him anymore.


Two years after he had moved to the States, I received a call from him and I was genuinely shocked and happy.

We caught up on old times and discussed at length.

But our conversations and chats were not as it used to be, I was now a mum with little kids and a home to run so I didn't have as much time as I used to. He even complained that I was slow in reading his messages and replying his chats.


At a point, he just stopped reaching out.


Sometimes I miss our conversations and wish it could be as it used to, other times, I just know life has taken us on different routes and we can't be close as we used to be....

I still miss what we shared.




Wicked friend!!!...what are you missing what you shared for?If a guy had done that now,you would included his name in your black book.I am happy that he stopped reaching out,you are not a good friend abeg!!!

46 comments:

  1. aunty stella you have said my mind

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eiyah...her inferiority complex cost her a valuable friend.

      Delete
    2. (Thank God he didn't) you said
      Hmmn I'm sure Chike is still struggling to find his feet in life,you won't have said that if Chike is now made,very rich and living large.

      Delete
  2. Hehehehheheeh Stella you d vex hehehehehehe. But really what are you missing him for ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.

    Well I value friendship a lot, I don't have a lot of friends but the very few I have I appreciate them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aba,Stella calm down

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ lmao ๐Ÿคฃ
      I got confused lmao

      Delete
    2. I'm confused oo SDK๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
  4. I think I agree with Stella,what you did wasn't fair at all, you should have explained to him why you didn't want him to come instead of ignoring his calls. Well try and reach out the best way you can. Having children and a home to run shouldn't make you ignore your friends mbok

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think he wouldn't have been bothered about how you look and he would have understood after all you were pregnant. What's done is done. Learn From it.

    A friendship I had that faded was one I believe was already dead on arrival due to my instinct which I ignored. Still, I pushed on because I believed it's best to always give people the benefit of a doubt before jumping into conclusion. My friend at the time had a spat with her other friend who wasn't even in the wrong based on what she narrated to me. I tried to pacify her but lost interest the moment she started divulging the personal secrets of the said lady she had a spat with. I was taken aback and wondered what that has got to do with the issue on ground. Like! All the secrets she was told in confidence she started letting them out one after the other. At that point, just right I defriended her without her realising it for I took my phone and started blocking her everywhere possible. Very vindictive human, gosh!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chai why you do that..Anyway back then in Uni, I had two best friends we were tagged ''theJ3s'' cos all our names starts with letter J..Our friendship was from 200level to 400Level infact when we were graduating it had ebbed out..I tried reaching out several times to them even after school but we just couldn't go back to the way we were..Just had to let them be..Both of them have families now and I wish them well from other side..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ms. Dee
    I get ajuju n' ese okwu for you...๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
    Wetin una share before, wey you wan share for inside ya oga on top house bikonu? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    You still dey share give dudes? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    Oga's sharing no dey enough for you eh madam? ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
    Okay, more ajujus n' ese okwu oo
    How come my mind dey yarn me say you vex say this dude just waka or fly fly dey go
    USA without you and why im no yarn you before say na there he dey go?
    Will you have dumped ๐Ÿค๐Ÿค๐Ÿค I no want uta o, e bi like say ndi uta don take positions
    dey aim my...
    Madam, abeg make you take care of your pikins them and share only with oga on top,
    before Chike go yarn you say im don find Sisi to marry and you carry ya vex pour on top
    of innocent girl who will Chike go share give. ๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽคYarns mics. dropped.
    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nawa o!Accuser of the Brethren...jisike nwanyioma.This your chosen ministry is not easy.

      Delete
    2. @Kamikaze
      Accuser of brethren = Satan
      Nwanyioma = Good woman
      Shuooooooooooooorrrr, I confuse o.
      How "Satan" go become "good" for inside ya yarns, same sentence o ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
      Abeg, I only asked ajujus n'ese okwu give Ms. Dee (who I dey enjoy her yarns ๐Ÿ˜Š)
      If you no sabi the answers to my ajujus, biko ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿป‍♀️

      Delete
    3. And make I ask one more ajuju n'ese okwu...
      If Ms. Dee's husband get an "American based Sisi" wey he dey share give like before,
      no be chronicles she go fire give Sdk eh? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Delete
    4. The way you jump to conclusion is really amazing

      Melancholy

      Delete
    5. @Melancholy
      I only asked ajuju n'ese okwu. I did not jump to any conclusion.
      If you jumped, tell us how many meters conclusion dey inugo? ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

      Delete
    6. Local holy gossip

      Delete
    7. Local or foreign o. The Scripture says in Heb. 12:14 that without holiness, no eyes shall see the Lord
      As for the gossip you wrote there, I don't see how it concerns this post.

      Delete
  8. Stella ti binu...kikiki

    Stop missing him and move on with your life. You should have at least told him not to bother coming to see you before relocating, end things the proper way instead.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I made friends with a client of ours and we became real close to the point of she invitg me to stay at her place when I had issues with where I was staying. Infact, when I had money to get a new apartment, she refused saying since she occupies a 3bed, its was convenient 4 both of us and so I stayed on. After about a year, I was opportuned to travel out and when I told her of my plans, she became hysteric and started finding faults in all I did - to a point we stopped talking as in real talk till the day I travelled out. It hurt me so bad because at least she was there 4 me when I needed her. Today, we are just hello and hi friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww...why don't you send her a message and tell her exactly how you felt and how you miss her now and also how you appreciate old times. Send her the written message first then call her.

      Delete
  10. Don’t beat yourself too hard..
    You made your bed so get comfortable innit..
    Plus you don’t miss him, you miss the attention...

    ReplyDelete
  11. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€@sdk comment.
    Twenty friends can not play together for twenty years

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had a friend some years back .we became ose after uni ..Dat was 2008 .Close pallies ..I am good with business .She would always come to me to help her fix things .I do them free ..these re things I charge pple for .I was always available for her Sha .What caused d split?Marriage lol
    so she got engaged and don't tell me .this was someone we talk very often either bbm or calls ,WhatsApp ,IG.2017 she got engaged and blanked me๐Ÿ˜ขI felt bad I no kuku get boyfriend then๐Ÿ˜„it was on her WhatsApp status I saw her introdiction❌,saw her court wedding on Facebook then she chatted me to buy asoebi for wedding .I felt used and dumped ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„I just ignored .she appologised that wedding stress made her forget to tell me about the engagement,court etc .I just got the mssg .You are single ..Move ..do I miss her yes I do ..Can I be friends with her ..he'll no ..Now she'll use me more .I run two businesses comfortably ..she'll zap all my knowledge and dump me again and again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You like full stop oh ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    2. Happy you're doing okay, quite a user. I have had my fair share of user friends, now I have just a few okay friends and I am good.
      My husband sometimes yab me but I no send,I need friends that would always be there for me and vise versa. In happy moments and sad times

      Delete
  13. Choi Stella haff vex๐Ÿ˜‚
    Well I believe sometimes a friend can become like a baggage , a constant reminder of who we were, the parts of ourselves we would rather forget.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sometimes people burn bridges. You shouldn't have ignored him and from your narration he is a really nice guy. There would come a time in your life that you would really need him, I only hope it won't be too late for you

    ReplyDelete
  15. You missed what you both shared�� preek and pkekus

    ReplyDelete
  16. Chai Stella don vex.
    MrsDee you should allowed him visit, what is wrong with your friend seeing you with pregnancy? That is in the past sha, stop missing him and move on

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster you no do well o. Imagine if the guy had done same to you how would you feel? I think the guy is a really really nice guy cause despite the fact you ghosted him the first time, he still tried to reach out again.
    Since you are married why don’t you Face your marriage And stop looking for friendship from the opposite sex before clap go enter dance? Would you be happy if you find out your husband is keeping tabs on his old female friends to the point of missing their friendship?
    Be guided o.

    ReplyDelete
  18. keeping friendship is a conscious and consistent effort from the people involved. E no easy

    ReplyDelete
  19. Back then in school over a decade ago I use to be friends with 3 other ladies but close to one in particular cos we somehow look alike nd people mistook us for real life sisters...graduated and we were still very close DAT she even came to my base wen she was bored at her own base and wanted to stay away from someone she was into...I do d calling most often which I wasnt bothered about not until few years back wen she wanted to get married..sent me message on WhatsApp about her wedding nd me I'm not a WhatsApp person cos I saw the message like a week after...was happy for her nd all DAT nd I called her to congratulate her...from DAT day I just felt like is it DAT I'm not worth her four naira to send me proper text message even if she can't call but I just put DAT aside...couldn't attend d wedding cos I was sick for almost 3months but I made sure I called before the wedding to find out how everything was going....our friendship started fading after she got married cos I called on wedding day in the Morning nd 2days after the wedding she never picked my calls..gave her a little space nd I called again a week after yet she didnt pick from DAT day I just told myself stay off...two months ago I on my data only for me to see her missed call on WhatsApp again which shows our friendship worth only WhatsApp calls..omo I just blanked her till date...don't need such friends around nd just like my sister said trailer has passed thru our friendship..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some people are very stingy with their airtime, it's what I've noticed

      Delete
    2. See how you conveniently excused yourself and faulted her all through. I am not saying what she did was right but you too get your own for body.

      Delete
    3. No matter how close I get with someone, if I do most of the voice calls and you don't try to reciprocate by calling through same means, I see you as an acquaintance because it means once there's no whatsapp, I won't get to hear from you again. In fact, I have lost some friendships that slowly faded because the other party didn't think I deserved to be called except on whatsapp. I detest it. If I value you, I use my airtime to reach out to you.

      Delete
    4. 17:02 I didnt excuse myself nd fault her all through u won't understand how it feels when someone u feel is ur good friend nd u are willing to do anything for never calls u on a normal day but only on WhatsApp...u won't understand..

      Delete
  20. Miss tee are you sure your reason for not seeing him was because you husband may not entertain such visit or you are using your preggy look as an excuse?๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    I have friends from way back that I would love for things to be the way they are but I am tired of being the one trying to reach out always. I don't know how to make friends..

    Melancholy

    ReplyDelete
  21. I had a friend like that. We were friends for a very long time. She got into a relationship that was leading to marriage and only for her to call 2 weeks to her weddings With 'are you coming for my wedding' question. Ahn ahn when did you fix wedding intro n all, and just 2 weeks to the wedding? I was in a very bad financial condition as at then and she was the only friend that knew what I was going through. I explained to her that you know I'm going through a lot, and coming to your place will cost me over 20k which I don't have, please forgive me if I can't make it. Na there quarrel start o. She ignored my calls and messages. From that moment I knew the friendship was gone. I didn't even bother myself, I just moved on. Many months later, babe called and started acting like nothing happened. I just told her that won't work cos I have moved on and she kept on lying about what happened, that even got me angry the more. Only for her to say that's not even the issue at hand, oya what's the issue na, she couldn't talk. Weeks later, I she sent me a message on WhatsApp that shey me I didn't hear she lost her sister? I felt really sad.sympathised with her and even called her, she bounced my call. That was it. It was later I now started recalling, that was the reason she reconnected afterall, she needed someone to sympathize with her. She had lost so many friends due to the wedding saga ( she told me she was angry with all her friends for not attending her wedding). She said her network in her new area was bad but it wasn't bad when you lost someone. Chai. I put 2 and 4 together and moved on. No time.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I had a very good friend in my compound then, you will think she is one of my siblings.since I got married I have been the one reaching out to her, according to her I am married now so I should have more money for calls. I decided to end it when I couldn't cope with her nagging.

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  23. Mrs Dee,that your friend wouldn't have mind except you ignored him cos of your husband.its not fair.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I've noticed women's friendships start to fade when they get married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They do.. I have a close friend that I can’t be friends anymore because her husband is a narcissist. He dedicates who she can be friends with, how her friends behavior should be, who her friends gets close with. I just said oh boy, I don’t have time for this.. it’s your cross to carry not mine.. Byee!!!

      Delete

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