Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Weekend Arena - Between Stella And Ngozi....

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Friday, May 22, 2020

Weekend Arena - Between Stella And Ngozi....

First things first: I am Ngozi Emedolibe. Mr. Ngozi Emedolibe, not Mrs. 

The name Ngozi is unisex in my part of Nigeria. And as a gender-neutral name, it has exposed me to sundry experiences.








 Some will make you laugh, some will make you sigh, and some will make you go wow; but we will get to that in due course. For now, I have something else to tell you, which is that I will be here every week to tell you ‘everything you need to know’. No restrictions, no inhibitions, no white-washing…just the way you it is, and the way you like it to be.


 It will be part of your indulgence in this new experience called Weekend Arena, on Stella Dimoko-Korkus’ portal, www.stelladimokokorkus.com.

Now how well do you know that lady, (abi babe?) called Stella Dimoko Korkus? 

Perhaps you know her as the woman behind the juicy gist involving some of the world’s greatest celebrities; or the journalist with the acidic pen (abi keyboard?) whose works often get plagiarized by some bloggers, suffering from that internet pandemic called ‘copy and paste syndrome’ or COPASTE-15, which broke out before COVID-19.

Well if you know her in toto, as in wholesomely o, like me, you will know she is a mercurial being. Yes, she can be unpredictable. She is witty and has answers to your jeers. With her, just bring it on, and she will face you. She hardly whitewashes. I call her frank but blunt and what you get with her is dependent on her mood.

Our paths crossed many years ago at Hints magazine. The company, True Tales Publications, founded by Dr. Ibe Kachikwu, was hiring some new talents to replace, I think, Helon Habila, who just won the second edition of The Caine Prize For African Writing. She came in as one of the numerous applicants, hoping to make an impact in the Hints environment, a very creative and competitive editorial system that produced and nurtured some of Nigeria’s biggest names in writing and journalism. The list is long and impressive.

So of the lot in that batch that was asked to describe, in writing, their immediate environment (the Editorial Suite) one of them stood out, with an impressive account that dazzled the entire editorial team, headed by Toni Kan then. Her essay, had teeth. You could feel its claws, piercing and tearing your skin. I cannot really remember the exact one liner, she used to capture the ceiling of Hints’ Editorial Suite, but it sure left everyone amazed, so much that the team wanted to meet the person behind the article during the one-on-one interview session.

That person was Stella Dimoko-Korkus, no Stella Dimoko, because she hadn’t won her ‘cock’, Mr. Korkus then. She was just a single and simple Nigerian girl with that Waffi mien and loads of passion for writing. By the time she perfectly blended her writing skills with a good nose for news stories, a great journalist was born. I remember the first column she wrote in Hints, Stella’s Groove, and how she called me out in the piece. According to her, men with my kind of bum (bumbum, if you ask your little niece) would likely have a deflated ‘something’. Up till today, she has not stopped making fun of my bum; although I see what I have as the regular kind. But you cannot be too courageous in matters like that. Do I have eyes on my back to see what I have behind? Sometimes after getting off the phone or social media chats with her and getting a dose of her yabis, I would recollect those days in the junior secondary school at Nbawsi, Abia State, when a certain Miss Bello, a ‘youth corper’ from UNIBEN (Stella’s alma mater by the way) would invite me to their staff room and be making fun of my bum too. One day, she ‘dared’ me by actually touching it. But I was too naive to go beyond a sheepish smile. If na now ehnn…hmmm.

So in reality, this Stella you are looking at has always been a thorn in my flesh o. As a colleague in the same office, before she moved to Encomium magazine to anchor her soar-away column, Gist CafΓ©, she would kick me, mock me, cajole me, and sometimes, I would think she was looking for ‘something’ from me like Miss Bello. Should I or should I not? 




Some days ago, she told me on the phone that I owed her a thousand hot slaps and that I would get them any day she catches me. 

According to her, she had been ‘keeping’ the ‘slaps’ since the last time we saw at a press conference. If you have better suggestion on how to handle someone that treats one this way please share in the comment section, because e don reach to do consultation. But my fear with her type is that if it turns out I have been reading her wrongly, the whole world would hear about it. She can even publish it here with my photos from childhood to the present!

Once again, what should I do with a lady that has been saving one thousand slaps, not dollars or Euros for me ? For now, I will be maintaining, like I did the day my mum told me about her encounter with one powerful prophet at Aba. She had gone to him for special prayers for all her children. The man of God had prayed fervently and had asked my mum the name of her second child.

“Ngozi”, Mum told him.

“The Lord said I should tell you that her husband is around the corner. He is a multimillionaire and he will marry HER before the end of December. Say Halleluyah somebody!”


Let us meet again.





*Hmmmm just make it two thousand slaps when i catch you..Imagine making me the intro of his column,you chop fish head?Make i catch you!!!

Can i tell you guys that the first time Ngozi came to Germany was in Winter and he wore that shoe that is called ''koi-koi''...

He landed in Berlin and my friend that went to pick him up almost died from laughing,Ngozi arrived dressed up for summer ....
Everything was a shock for him,his mouth was permanently open and he couldn't stop stuttering ''Yeeeee,see the the the step is moving
 Eat German food nko?wahala.


Hes been to several Countries but na still Bushman...

He forgot to add that he is Married with 15 kids..Hehehehehehehehe

106 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Wow I like Mr Ngozi already!! I think I love this new column..Jisike

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    2. As in, I really like it!!

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    3. This is going to be fun

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    4. Wow! I like this new column already. Mr. Ngozi pls bring it on!!! That last paragraph though got meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. #weekendarena

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    5. Wowzaaa, this is lovely, I love the column already. Hmmmm Stellz, this man sabi you inside out just the way you know him, you guys have really come a long way.

      Oga Ngozi you are welcome to our forum, please we need more info on Stellzzzz πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

      The last paragraph was something else, Hehehehehe πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚, Ndi Amuma Ugha, dem plenty.

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    6. Hahahhaha,this is really going to be interesting. Welcome on board Mr Ngozi.

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    7. Oh I like this column already. Mr Ngozi nice one . bring it on!

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    8. This is good.But that prophet try well well.

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  2. Two witty journalist! wow! this session is going to be light!
    Oga Ngozi I love your writing skills are your innuendos are top notch! πŸ˜€πŸ€—πŸ˜€

    Stella nor be now your wahala start oh. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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    Replies
    1. Mr Ngozi I like you already. πŸ’ž bring it on!!! πŸ˜πŸ’šπŸ’š

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  3. Ngozi = Blessing.
    Na woman name be that, nothing like unisex.

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    Replies
    1. Ngozi its actually a unisex name

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    2. I have male friend that bears the name blessing though

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    3. Sometimes I don't understand how some Igbo parents name their kids. I know a guy answering Chioma and another one Chidinma but Chidinma reduced his own to Chidi.
      The one answering Ijeoma changed his own to Ijoma... Akuko, I still call him Ijeoma... After vexing he will answer.

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    4. Blessing- Ibukun in Yoruba
      Yes it’s a unisex name

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    5. Chike you can’t speak for everyone. Ngozi and Chioma are very unisex names in Abia state( and maybe some part ls of Imo). Infact you are more likely to come across a male bearing those names than female in those parts

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    6. Even me wey no be ibo, I know say Ngozi na unisex name. A male cousin of mine bears Ibukun-Blessing-Ngozi.

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  4. I love ur writing style Mr Ngozi. And and I might as well say u are the 3rd male Ngozi I am meeting( tho 1st on line). Lol@ all these fake prophets. HER husband indeed. Looking forward to ur column!!

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    Replies
    1. Ngozi with big ikebe, hmmmm. This column go sweet die😁

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    2. Fake prophets. Like one told my mum one time that i will surely pass my jamb "this year and enter university" no one told my mum to run

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  5. This is hilarious! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      I used to think Ngozi Emedolibe of hints was a woman o.
      Well don sir. You write beautifully. πŸ’ͺ

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    2. Vivilicious, e kala nka kwakwakwakwa

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  6. Lol. It's really clear you guys go a long way. Seems like you have a sense of humour, i like that. Can't wait to see what this new addition has got to offer.

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  7. This will be a good section and an educating one at that. Thanks Stella for this column. Mr Ngozi, you are wholeheartedly welcome here with us on board.

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  8. This is sure going to be an interesting segment,Stella this your friend na the same the same o as in you don jam your type. Keep it coming Mr Ngozi na wa for that prophet

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  9. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ married with 15 children,father of multitude of nations.

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  10. hahhahahhahhahahahah................... nice one.

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  11. Lol I love the banter in this article. That's one fake prophet mehn. Stella and Mr. Ngozi way to goπŸ‘πŸΎ

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  12. Nice piece Mr NgoziπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘...good to have you here and look forward to your writeups.

    Shout out to Shooter gyalπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  13. Nice intro and transition...
    All these fake prophets can fall hand
    I laughed at the 2nd to last paragraph

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  14. Wawu, weekend Arena welcome oohh
    Something fresh!

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  15. Beautiful!! You caught my attention to the very end, would be looking forward to your next column.


    May

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  16. Stella, you are still doing what he accused you of in his writing😁😁
    Abeg free the man jor

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  17. You are welcome Ngozi.

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    Replies
    1. Inasmuch as you're welcome onboard, please be ready because we have some people who always disagrees with insult. When you read their comments,don't be discouraged.
      One love.
      E go be ✌✌

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  18. I remember the good old days of hints and hearts magazine.... Those were what kept us company before the advent of smartphones

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    Replies
    1. Sure!
      I have lots of hints magazines packed somewhere in my room.
      Sweet Memories!

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  19. Nicely written! Stella your friend yab you wella πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  20. Stella, your mouth no be today o,na follow come. This segment gonna be lit!

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  21. This will sure be an interesting read,will always be looking forward.

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  22. Nice one Mr. Ngoo.
    Stella no be today o.

    Having that one person who you're always fond of makes life easier.

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  23. Mr Ngozi, ur multi-millionaire 'husband' is still on the way

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  24. Mr Ngozi is funny and he writes very well

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  25. My brother ehπŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
    My village is just next to Mbawsi and my uncle attended that same school but finished from Grammar school. Nice style of writing at least you tried to keep it simple.

    Men with big bum actual have better fits in pants but I think the whole big bum in men is peculiar to men from the south west. We hope you don’t go deaf from the slaps to come though.

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  26. Hahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I love this column already, its hilarious 🀣🀣

    The way he started with Ngọzi, I just knew that the person is a 🀑 with sense hehehe πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

    Ngọzi means blessing

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    Replies
    1. Haa, Ms. A, you even know the meaning of the name yet bash them? Did they offend your maternal people?

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    2. Anonymous 14:17, something is really wrong with your mendular oblongata.

      So, because I have Igbo family members, I will not speak against an Igbo person that commits a crime or speak against the crime.

      You don chop afternoon food?

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  27. Wow wow wow. Ngozi Emedolibe I met him once at Hints plaza, those days of photoshoots. #Memories

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  28. Mr Ngozi Ikebe,I enjoyed your piece. Stella your wahala no be today e start oooo..😁😁😁😁

    Lovelace

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  29. Ahan!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I know I will enjoy this one.

    Welcome Mr Ngozi!!

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  30. Lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Both Mr Ngozi and Stella have a great sense of humour.

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  31. Weejend Arena..... It's gonna be an interesting/hilarious ride. Male Ngozis seems to be very funny lots...my maternal uncle.

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  32. Weekend Arena..... It's gonna be an interesting/hilarious ride. Male Ngozis seems to be very funny lots...my maternal uncle is one.

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  33. Welcome Mr Ngozi πŸ€—

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  34. Halleluyah!Did you finally got married in December and how is your multimillionaire husband. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  35. Wow, I'm in love with this column alreadyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ this is love at first sight for me.

    Nice one Mr Ngozi and Stellz for this.

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  36. You are a witty writer mr ngozi just like nsg,aunty stella well done..much love

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  37. Aunty stella can we pls pls get kanes world I never got around finishing it..or any of your write ups in hints plss

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  38. Anticipation of Friday to come to read how Stella Got Her Groove Back was not in vain.

    Welcome as the driver, Mr Ngozi. As we seat to enjoy the ride, who is going to nominate the conductor of the bus?

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  39. Mr Ngozi,you are welcome.

    I love u already with ur koi koi shoe

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  40. Wow this gonna be fuuuunnnnnnnn! Stella Nwanyi Mara Mma Ndewo! You are really very good at what you do.

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  41. This will be an interesting column.
    Friends that tease themselves last for ever just like my friends and I.

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  42. Me, am just imagining how he will be walking with his "koikoi" shoes and big bumbum, looking around with mouth open... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
    Kaiii Stella ,you can finish person with mouth😫😫😌

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  43. I love love how you write Mr.Ngozi.

    I can imagine the prophet's face when mama will say,'my child Ngozi is a man'πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  44. Ngozi is my mum's name, you're welcome Sir.

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  45. Okayyyy I wouldn’t wanna miss SDK on Fridays..
    The intro is πŸ”₯

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  46. This cracked me up πŸ˜‚

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  47. No be today nigerian prophets start yo dey fuck up🀣🀣
    Oga ngozi welcome, hope you don dash that your koi koi shoe🀣🀣

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  48. I love this column already
    Bring more Mr Ngozi

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  49. Beautiful written Mr Ngozi πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ
    This is going to be fun😎

    Kisses😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘to your wife and 15 children. Hehehe

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  50. No matter how much he introduce himself back then in hints magazine,I always have a female picture stuck in my head

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  51. I love this segment already.
    You're welcome my namesake.
    Stella can sure look for trouble but she has a heart of gold.

    #Smiles#

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  52. You are very much welcome onboard my namesake I am 100% sure are going to make our weekend starters yummy and delicious

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  53. I have never heard a man bear the name Ngozi.
    The name is making you very interesting .
    Welcome .

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  54. Wow! This is going to be interesting.

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  55. Love me a witty writer. I am already in love with this column

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  56. Lovely write up, I love this column already,the last paragraph got me lol.

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  57. This crack me up πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
    Stella please reduce the slapπŸƒπŸ½‍♂️πŸƒπŸ½‍♂️πŸƒπŸ½‍♂️πŸƒπŸ½‍♂️
    Nice one Mr Ngozi, welcome on board

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  58. Interesting read. Hahaha prophet, so the spirit didn't tell you Ngozi na man, iffa hear.

    This column is going to be interesting and funny. You're welcome on board.

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  59. You are welcome Mr Ngozi,is going to be......

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  60. I love Mr Ngozi already my name sake but different tribe Oghale is my name in isoko it means blessing.

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  61. This new coloumn right here will be hot, Nnemukwu (Stella) with the sauce

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  62. Nice one welcome Mr Ngozi.

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  63. Mr Ngozi....I'm sure ur mum had seen ur "ikebe" from birth, hence the name😁😁😁....
    This column go make sense die, looking forward to next Friday

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  64. A male Ngozi? Chai the world has indeed come to an end. Hey, hold it there lol before you come for my cute round chocolate butts this is the first time I am knowing that the name Ngozi is unisex.

    You are right about SDK, her reaction to things and situation is based on her mood. I remember a funny encounter I had with her when we use to chat back then. Oooooh chimooooh!!! SDK can yab for Africa. I have mad love and respect for her and what she does.


    About your butts sir, can I see it? I will like to touch it too sir, and no I don't have any ulterior motives I just want to touch it thats all.

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  65. Welcome Mr Ngozi. I enjoyed your write up....

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  66. Welcome on board Mr Ngozi, hope your '15 children' no football team plus four are doing very well. Stella pardon him and forget the slap because of Coro.

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  67. Welcome on board Mr Ngozi. Looking forward to your next write up

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  68. I just read this nowπŸ˜…πŸ˜… laugh wan kill me here
    Welcome onboard , uncle Ngozi

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  69. Waooo!!!! I remember him and others during hints era.Hints was my day in day out edtion. I love that magazine die.

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  70. Ngozi emedolibe
    Toni kan
    Kayode ajala
    Azuh Arinze
    I missed you all. #memories #whenNigeriaWasaVibe

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  71. Wow I'm loving this column already. Bring it on Sir.

    Ngozi is my elder sisters name.

    ReplyDelete

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