Monday In House News..

Hailing Oh.................

BV MARYJUANA EXPLAINS WHY SHE IS MISSING ON IHN COVER

I Just finished Serving my country. Job hunting now. I'll be back on the blog.

 I've so missed it.....



Hey baby geh,see you when we see you!...Wish you all the best with Job hunting....I feel so bad for the Corps members that just passed out in these COVID 19 times when jobs are closing and people are being sent home.....

E go be!!!!   ✌






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ANGRY COMMENT

Whoever you are that dropped this comment eh,i beg you to please release yourself and these people who hurt you from this deep hatred....I understand that it hurts but let it go.......





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LIFE DIARIES 

INTRODUCTION::......Welcome to "Life Diaries".

 I can't say too much about me because I want all my personal stories or stories of others shared with me to remain anonymous. At surface level, I am a story/experience collector; which means I am a very good listener and not critical even to myself.

 This may mean bad or good to some in that someone may as well see me as not having standards and others see me as being receptive. I am okay with all sides because that is the beauty of my diverse persona. FYI, I am no writer, just a lady with listening ears going through life who happens to have a keyboard to share these stories with you. 

Thanks Stella, for giving me your platform to share with your readers.



That 'ONE' Auntie:

What better way to kick-off this column but with my own experience which took place in the wee hours of this morning lol. My phone rang, I picked up and it was Auntie Nonye. Sheesh!!! 

This was my expression because she is that one auntie that holds you captive on the phone with tales like "in my days ehn... or mgbe gboo (in olden days) or oge na eti eti (when i was young and bumping) etc (insert more as the spirit leads).


Anywho, she goes on to ask about me then delves straight to the crux of the call. Asking, Nne obanye go? (nne has it entered). No need to lose my cool with Auntie Nonye, despite her not so needed opinions, questions etc... I know she means well. So I answered not yet and told her 'na wah' you asked me this a month ago and i told you we will go for a test so give us time to digest the results na... odiegwu!!! She sensed my tiny frustration and said 'Nne leave all these doctors let me give you the recipe I used in my days.


My people from my Aunties mouth to my ears and now to blog readers eyes, I was quiet and listened lol. Here she goes:


Have sex in the morning whether you husband wants or not wake him around 4 and collect. Her analogy is that at that time the sperm has not been exposed to harsh environmental conditions and will be agile to swim lol
Gina di gi, alazi na ikpu unu (No oral sex anymore with each other). Her analogy is that saliva is bad for sperm.....

She proceeded to ask if I have lots of cervical mucus i said sometimes, she says, mbaaaa it has to be plenty and dripping so from now on start eating plenty grapefruit and cut up okra, boil it in little water and drink it up. Her analogy is that this increases fertile cervical mucus....

She asked to eat lots of yams as it increases the likelihood of twins and enhances fertility - How? I do not know?

She also told me sex should be missionary or doggy and once done, I should fold my leg over my head for like 5- 10 minutes.
She asked i buy a thermometer and measure my vagina temperature in the morning if it enters 38 degrees that I am ovulating and ready to catch the egg. She wasn't way off here because i know of basal temperature tracking to detect ovulation but her method is all new to me.

Ooh the one that got me perplexed and I burst out a loud laugh is; after s#x if I didn't orgasm I should masturbate immediately because the hormones released from an orgasm helps the sperm swim faster.


I can't make this up at all lol. I was not too happy when she started mouthing off all these unsolicited suggestion but it became so funny. By the end of our discussion, I was like "what the hell'..., I might as well try the one with less harm like the grapefruit and okra suggestion and others wink wink, I will leave it to your imagination.





Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha This is so Interesting!!!






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MADAM TOK TOK DON LAND
CONTROLLING ANGER


Everyone gets angry at one point in time or the other. The best of us gets irritated by the actions or inactions of others and anger springs up. Anger in itself is not a bad feeling but could lead to unimaginable things when entertained for a long time. Anger is good when it is channeled towards an unpleasant situation in a bid to challenge a change for the better.



However anger has done more harm than good in the life of a lot of persons. I remember sometimes in 2014 in my neighbourhood a young bride who was pregnant set their house ablaze. The husband told newsmen that it was because she found out that he was having an affair with another lady. The worst part of the story is that her husband was able to escape from the fire but she died, killing herself and the innocent fetus in her due to anger.



Anger has destroyed families, relationships, friendships and lots more. People have lost their jobs, contracts, opportunities and connections due to anger. It is wisdom to control ourselves when angry. I received a call some months back at 2.00am from a client, all she wanted to know was the defences that would be open to her if kills her husband. Ha Madam! I shouted, sleep cleared from my eyes immediately, she had snooped that night and found out her husband was sleeping with her mother.


 I was happy she was able to control herself she would have ended up in prison due to anger.


This is not an attempt to judge persons who has done very nasty things due to anger but we can decide to control our anger and be quiet even when angry. It is wrong to take a decision while angry. I have decided after several interactions with people that when I am angry I would take a decision only after 24 hours. Anger can destroy what has been built for several years. 


It is dangerous to allow a feeling become a reason for your destruction. No matter what anyone has done wrong to you, you can decide to never allow anger be a reason for your downfall. We were created to control things and not allow things or feelings control us.




This is a beautiful write up and i am on this table cos sometimes i get angry too fast and when i walk away i don't look back...

I used to be a sucker for sad stories but the insults from faceless people no this blog turned me into a heartless person.....Lord can you restore me?can you make me forget their wickedness so that i can go back to being mumu Stella who buys any story?....

what a prayer right?

LOL







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