Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Wednesday, July 08, 2020

Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmm.......











STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENT ADVICE NEEDED



Hello Stella,

Please hide my identity
My name is D.O, I have been married for about 5 years now to a caring and loving man who is also a medical doctor


He runs his own private hops ital and has other doctors under our employment while i am also doing well in business and i work as supervisor for clerks in the hospital

Apologies if i sound proud but just to be honest as possible

Before i met my husband ,i was dating this guy called M.
I though he was the right one and infact his family and mine were well known to each other, But we separated due to pressure to get pregnant for him while he was pursuing to travel to Canada,i bluntly refused to be tied down and when he attempted to rape me ,i broke thing up:::


I dont know what he told his family i mean siblings but they just hate me suddenly only his mum called me and asked what happened
And i opened up to her, she supported my decision and prayed for me to forgive her son:::

Despite that we were no longer dating myself and his mum were still friends infact i took my husband to visit her while we were courting . The woman is so so nice, strict and firm....


She attended my wedding without her children knowing and my Husband respects her alot cause of her personality
Now to the present, Last 6 months Mama fell sick and went to the hospital , she was diagnosed with HBP and Lump in her breast...

When she told me, myself and my husband went to see her and asked she came to our clinic for treatment while we prepare for surgery
Mama has been faithful to appointment and her children dont know my husband is the Doctor until recently i walked into Mama daughter bringing her to the clinic ,i dont know how she knew but she called me that night and rained insults on me for toying with her brother heart and taking advantage of mama....


That was the last time we saw her but she communicates with us coded
Mama hasnt been operated and is in pain , She said we should save her from her children that they keep postponing her surgery
Meanwhile my husband is willing to even bring older and experienced surgeons for the surgery at the hospital,


since this incident myself and my husband have not been ourselves to show how down to earth she is
Asin Mama is an angel and a mother figure to both of us...


Please BV is there how we can help Mama?? Can we sue or do anything to at least get her the treatment ???
I don't know why her children motive for hiding her
I have her ATM card for one of her accounts and she said its for emergencies, she showed me all her properties and i know all about her to show the level of trust she had for me and my family

Please how can i help her, i don't want her to die or continue in pain

 




*My dear,I understand that you love her but please know your boundaries...she is not your mum and if your hubby operates on her anything happens,there will be trouble for you from them....Try to explore the option of having a conversation with them or even suing them for negligence but do not touch her without the consent of her kids.....

57 comments:

  1. Stella,

    You have said it all.

    Poster, Please heed the red ink.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster you and your husband should hands off. Let the children decide if they want their mother to go for the surgery or not.

      Delete
    2. Poster don't let your good deed put you in trouble. Leave them and continue to pray for the mama.

      Delete
    3. You can send the sis a text Nd let her know whatever her brother told her is a lie. Nd then dey need to pick btwn beefing u Nd deir mums life. If dey don’t respond free them abeg yes u love her but she’s not ur mum. Don’t scatter ur arranged life biko! Dey ur dey !

      Delete
    4. Poster follow stella advise pls

      Delete
    5. Madam poster,heed to Stella's advice

      Delete
    6. Poster.
      Fist of all.
      She doesnt need her kids consent for anything. Shes an adult.
      Secondly, pay for consultation for her if you have money at a new and independent clinic. Let her attend the first consultation by herself. All you need to do is send her money for cans,
      if you have.
      Do you have a friend who can visit her and communicate these fresh plans to her ?.
      That's all you need.
      Help her, but from a detached distance.
      Never involve your selves in the decision making.
      Let an independent hospital do that.

      Delete
    7. Stella toh sure! Stella yaff said it all. Their consent will be needed. You can't force things, maybe they want her to die. Her children sound backward.

      Delete
  2. While I was reading, comments came to share but Stella has said it all. Know your boundaries, she's not your mum, leave her alone. Her son is done with you, so why chook yourself in their matter 😏.
    I hope you don't pray to ever be forgotten in Kirikiri.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 15:17 did you read where she said the woman has been like a mother to her??why sounding so harsh like that? This poster is very kind and an appreciative person.To show how good that mama is,She didn't blindly support her son and hate the girl,but called to hear the girl's side of story,not like some women do,even when their son is wrong,they would rather support their son.That is why we have so many problems in marriages with mother-in-law wahalas.

      But my dear,this is Africa and if anything goes wrong with the lady as her children hate you,i can't imagine what those wicked children will do.I think you should look for a single child that has sense among them,and let one of your doctors stand as mama's medical representative to talk to the children to stop postponing her surgery,let them know it must not be your hospital that the surgery will take place,they can take her else where.But time is going!!Let the doctors tell them the gravity of delay,then you hands off,At least you tried.Shikena!!

      I can't imagine any child endangering their mother's life because of petty grievance and anger.Gosh!! How can you choose pride and malice over your mother's life and health.Na wah!!! some human beings dey this world oh.

      Delete
    2. Ask mama if there is any1 else you can speak with that she trusts, like her siblinngs, talk to the siblings. Then the siblings can all have a meeting with her kids and the truth will be revealed. You can tell your side of the story. That way you and your husband can take care of her and help her attain full recovery I hope what i said makes sense sha

      Delete
  3. You cannot operate on her without the consent of her kids, I'm sure you already know that. However, you can try reaching out to other family members of hers, maybe her son, your ex maybe via social media,then put her in your prayers also.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm sorry to say this but it's obvious they don't intend to do anything for her. Like Stella said don't touch her without their consent but you can go public codedly. Go to relevant authorities and ask them to check on her. Let mama know they are coming to rescue her so she can prepare.

    Truth be told, u dodged a bullet not marrying her son. It is well.with her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel so bad. But really, does a full grown adult not have a right of decision on her own health? Must her children undertake before she can access health care? I was in far away Abuja when my mom carried herself to remove her own lump, my dad had an accident and couldn't go with her just one small girl in the neighbourhood stayed at the waiting room while she was operated on. Although I got to her that same day but I can't remember signing any document.

      If she is financing her care she shouldn't need them after all childless women are not doomed to strangeness in life.

      Poster, find a way to ginger her to put her foot down and go seek for help! It doesn't have to be in your hospital but she should take charge of her life biko! What nonsense children be that one?!😑😑😑

      Delete
  5. This a very sensitive case,pls thread cautiously cos with the way the children are going? They can go any length to implicate you and your husband! I know you guys really want to help old woman but as Stella advised,talk to them and don't touch her without their consent to avoid stories that touch later

    Talk to them and let them know what transpired between their brother and you then ,that is if they will listen but if not,leave their mother for them and help her in prayers

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with Stella. You do not have the right to make medical decisions for her except she has signed off the right to you.
    You can try to talk to them but do not force it so you don't end up on the wrong side of this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. please you should allow them take her to another hospital... if anything happens to her during surgery and after surgery in ur hospital you and your husband Will be blamed for it causing more enmity

    ReplyDelete
  8. I go with Stella please don’t let them turn this against you.

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  9. Stella has said it o. God forbid bad happens to Mama, they'll say you killed her after dumping their brother. If you can, have a talk with them, but I think you should help Mama from a distance.

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  10. Nothing can be added ,nothing can be removed,take Stella's adviceπŸ‘†,energy saved..😊

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  11. Send a doctor, not your husband to them and tell them that he the doctor is willing to
    treat her for free but it has to be in a teaching hospital, not a private setting.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You said it all Stella..Its their mum and can do as it pleases them..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Poster help but please don't exceed safe, legal boundaries. Ma may not be there in case of exigencies to defend your innocence.
    The heart of man is desperately wicked. You may involve legal agencies if it becomes necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Maybe their eyes are on the content of the ATM, Mama gave to you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Talk to mama and also recommend another hospital for her. She can tell her children the hospital you recommended without them knowing it is you and hubby.

    Don't force yourself on them. Don't bother to talk to them. Ask mama who is a trusted uncle you can talk to so that she can do the operation which you recommend.

    Sorry that is life. They don't understand

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stella is the wisest agony aunt I've ever seen, poster just follow her so you and your husband no go fall for trouble. Nowadays that even when ppl die of natural causes, others will still be questioned over it

    ReplyDelete
  17. I thought lump in an older person is most times cancerous.. Pls proper tests should be done before surgery..Lost two people dear to me to breast cancer...started as a lump, after surgery, it got worst..She is healed in Jesus Name

    ReplyDelete
  18. My dear Please go with Stella..I feel your pain and I know what it's like when you want to help someone you love dearly but some unforseen circumstances come your way..Please tread with caution and pray for wisdom, there must be a way when there is a will..I prefer you guys should be behind the scene not at the forefront to help since the siblings dislike you..All the best and God bless your heart..

    ReplyDelete
  19. Poster, you do understand that anything can happen or go wrong with the surgery right? With this grudge they bear against your family, they won't accept any negative outcome (God forbid) as her time or something. Just let them be. If she could reach out to you, she should also be able to reach out to her other family members like her siblings to attend to her health. No go use your hand take find trouble for your husband.

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  20. Stella have said it all, please you need the consent of her children before any surgery can be carried out. Talk to your ex and his siblings to see a better way.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster please tread carefully oooo

    ReplyDelete
  22. Virtuous woman8 July 2020 at 16:04

    I don't understand why you people keep saying she cannot be operated upon without her children's consent. I agree they should not operate on her for security reasons,but I think mama can make the decision to go to any hospital to do surgery,if she wants. Is there any law saying a woman cannot be operated on if she is sick without her children's consent? My mother did her breast surgery in the hospital of her choice without our consent. She only informed us of her decision and we sent her money because we live in different states.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Please don't touch her without her children's consent.

    On a second thought, if someone can sign for cs, mama can also sign for the surgery. Incase anything happens, there'll be evidence.

    But its safer they agree to allow tue mum undergo the surgery

    ReplyDelete
  24. Stella is πŸ’― correct, poster follow her advice.

    Please call me πŸ€™

    ReplyDelete
  25. Please love mama from a distance and i wont advise your husband to carry out the operation, hell will be let loose if anything happens to her.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mama children are wicked and useless o

    ReplyDelete
  27. Darling, neither you nor your hubby can be the dominus litis in any suit involving the lady and her children as per the surgery. For you to institute any civil action in a court of law, you must have the locus standi, also known as the right to sue. Try as you may and as adorable as your relationship with her may seem, in the eyes of the law, your relationship is superficial. If she hasn't given you or your hubby her Power Of Attorney, you will be considered a meddlesome interloper. Your suit is dead on arrival and, unlike in fairytales, true love's kiss can't resuscitate it. So trying to sue will be an effort in futility.

    I reckon being helpless and watching a lady you love like a mother, suffer unnecessarily can be heartbreaking but sweetheart, this is one situation you have to back off and allow her children decide what steps they consider appropriate. It isn't illegal for an adult to refuse a lifesaving surgery. The lady can decide to have surgery without the consent of her children, unless she is mentally incapacitated.

    Let's look at this objectively. For argument sake, let's assume she gives consent and her children support her decision. Do you really think it's wise for the surgery to be done in your hubby's facility? What if something goes wrong? There are no guarantees in surgery, even an appendectomy which surgeons consider routine, can go south. A patient can still die even if it's the world's best surgeon wielding the scalpel. Honey, there are too many variables. Some patients survive the actual surgery but die from resulting complications days later. Do you really want to risk your hubby's reputation and your good intentions on this? What if you are accused of wanting to kill her so you can convert her property? You already have access to one of her accounts, no? Can't you already get the whiff of the accusations rip and ready to burst?

    Her children may hate your guts but I find it hard to believe you love her more than all her children. Surely, at least one of her children will want the best for her. If they don't want your hubby operating on their mother, you have to stay your hand. I will even advise you to stay your hand if they give consent. Remember what they say the road to hell is paved with? Yeah, good intentions. Don't allow your emotions blind you from see the proverbial sword of Damocles dangling dangerously close to your pretty head. Tread cautiously, apply wisdom not sentiments.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster peradventure you won't take Stella's advice, please take this one cos it is the real truth. If anything goes wrong with the surgery, you and hour husband will be in hot soup. Tread with caution!!

      Hey Ronald! Where have you been? It's been a while, I hope you're doing well

      Delete
  28. Hmm....if mama dies you will feel like you didn't try enough,I don't think you should ignore,try to work things out with her kids.
    I don't understand why you didn't tell them why you ended things with their bro. Try and see if you can sort out your issues so she can get the care she needs. But if you know her death is not going to have any effect on you emotionally then please respect her childrens decision.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Tread with caution dear! Don’t get too emotional in the process and act in a way that might implicate you.

    Get her the much needed help you can from a distance, report anonymously to the appropriate authorities. It is best if the surgery is done outside your clinic to avoid further issues per adventure something happens

    ReplyDelete
  30. Contact Human Rights people. I believe mama is a dependent. Try to prove that the children are endangering her life by preventing her from getting proper medical treatment. Keep your chats as proofs. Save her life

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  31. Please be very careful so that you're goodwill won't put you into trouble in case anything went wrong with the surgery, I will advise you tell mama to go to other competent Dr for the surgery. You and your husband are too kind

    ReplyDelete
  32. Get Mama a lawyer who can empower her to make the best decisions for herself. How old is she? How come her kids have this much power over her life? Even if I am 90 them no born that child well yo be making useless and emotional decisions for me.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poster find out if mama has a pastor or imams, find them and let them try and reason with the children.

    It's only dialogue that will work.

    May God give you and hubby wisdom.


    ReplyDelete
  34. Please poster, best way is to follow Stella's advice oo. But I feel for her, how I wish the children can succumb.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Poster, if all you said happened exactly how you said them, then I will say the Mama is also a problem to herself. How can she call you codedly and tell you stories yet she cannot take a decision of where and how to be treated of her ailment? Why should you have her ATM card? As her heir or who? Why should she give you details of her property or tell you about them, biko? As her daughter-in-law or close family friend or what? Even if she did all these when you were in a relationship with her son, you must hand over now that you are married to another man and know your boundaries. She has male and female children, so her making you her confidant is unnecessary especially since you and her children are not in good terms. BTW why have you not also explained things to her children especially the daughter that called you? You can meet up or text her distraught daughter the details of why your relationship with her brother ended and advise her on the need for surgery on their Mom. I just wonder if you love their mom than they do.

    @Stella; She should sue them for negligence in what sense? I thought negligence happens if someone (being neglected) cannot help him/herself? The mama is not having any mental challenge, neither is she financially/physically incapacitated. I also believe she can walk/move about and talk too, so can they be said to be neglecting her? Does this poster actually have full details of why the surgery has not happened? Or the mama is trying to even put her and her hubby in trouble while pretending to be in good terms with them?

    I sincerely think there is more to this story and I advise you, @poster, to handover all the woman's things in your possession to her, advise her children on why the surgery should be done ASAP and just pray for them to take favourable decision. Please, leave the mama and her children run their lives as they deem fit.

    If her children find out you're with her ATM card, know about her property and yet she is your patient, then you will know that you and your hubby may even be sued for what you can never imagine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam E, you have finished this matter. I go with all you have said.

      Delete
  36. Please poster listen to Stella and do as she has adviced.you will be hold responsible if anything happens to mama.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Please go to the police , explain to the most senior officer and seek help. ThThey want to kill her and inherit properties

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  38. Poster is like you don't like the peace you are enjoying in your home, please mind your business and let them be, this may be a big temptation in disguise.

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  39. Nawoo.u have to be careful, human beings get how they de take reason oh.

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  40. Poster do as Stella had said... No addition, no subtraction.

    ReplyDelete
  41. You can ask her for the amount needed and send to her by paying it into her account across the counter, leave no traces. Let her make payment at the hospital and do her surgery.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Please poster go with Stellas advice then add this to it.

    Try and see if there is anybody Mama trusts. Yes so you can send money to that person for mama's surgery in another hospital ok ,let that person take care of mama and pay for everything for her,with that means you are helping but from afar,ok.

    So her kids won't see any reason to hold you incase anything happens,but God will surely save her cos that woman has a good heart and she is truthful and kind to take you this way.
    Please the earlier the better poster.

    You are an angel Poster,may God bless you and your family more!.

    ReplyDelete

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