Let me add to the bad advice.
1. When you get to the meeting just listen and say OKAY and SORRY.
2. Don't defend yourself at all.
3. When they say take her back you say NO.
4. If they insist then you say you will support her from her mother's house.
5. If the mother insist then ask her why she wants to get rid of her own child?
6. If they insist then lie on the girls head that she is following married men and the women in the area are planning something bad for her. 🤣🤣

Na so dem dey do, they'll want to abandon their responsibility on the older children, 10 children tan, who sent her?? Set of, the older ones will help me train the younger ones dem . So far your husband supports you no gree O, it's not your responsibility except the child in question is a good child if not dump her with her mother

Whatever you do, do not return with that girl. If I were you, I will not attend that meeting and I will tell my husband to manage his people out of my way. I know someone will say they will turn your husband against you if you don't. Truth is they will still turn him against you if you do. Choose your peace of mind and damn the consequences. A husband that will stay will stay, the one who will not will not. Don't be so scared and let those people turn you into a slave.

Let me ask you a sincere question, and please be honest with me. If the girl in question was your own younger sister, would you tell her never to come to your house again? Second, would you call your parents and ask if they’re responsible for choosing to have ten children?

In life, education is good but wisdom is better. In a situation like this, your husband should be the one speaking to his people. It will carry more weight because they will respect his judgement more than yours. Now, let’s flip it.If your husband did the same thing to your sibling without telling you, and spoke to your parents the way you spoke to his, how would you feel?

My advice to you will be simple at this point. Don’t lie to your husband about it. Be open. Explain exactly how it happened and apologize for the words you said out of anger. If he’s a good man, he’ll protect you and make sure things don’t escalate at the meeting. I’ve always prayed that the woman I marry will never put me in a position where I have to choose between her and my mother.

Your reaction wasn’t the best. And this is just what we’ve read. There may be other things said too. I wish you the best. But the truth is, you can’t chase any of your in-laws away without your husband’s support. It will always backfire. What if this young girl is the assignment God is giving you? What if through your kindness she becomes a better woman? Have you tried being nice and friendly to her to see if she changes? Sometimes matching people’s bad behavior doesn’t change them. It only exposes our own faults.

All the best to you.


©️ TEEJAY

Ur husband suppose to be the one communicating with his mom regarding this issue..
Why did you accept her in the first place, Abi u were using her as ur maid?
Not sure of ur family dynamics; why must u go for family meeting?..
I’m guessing u are full time housewife & ur husband is sole provider..
Cos I see lack of boundaries here

Well, you were wrong in not carrying your husband along. This is Africa and this sis Nigeria. And being tbe opara's wife is never easy, worse if he's the breadwinner of the family .

You should have reported to him as it happens and he l should have been th one to ask her not to come back. Stylishly tell them that he will be sending money for her expenses.

Nothing you will say will save you . It would have been your words against hers if you haven't turned on your mother in law.

Adolescent and teenagers can be a handful. You were once in that stage too.

Most African parents expect their children to train their younger ones. She's already done with waec. She'll be off to uni and she'll be tougher. So I say play smart and wise.

Tell them you wanted her to spend the long break with time ,to bond with the other members and your her mum who's your mother in law while she prepares for university.

Trust me,that girl is coming back yo your house. Be ready for times 3 of whatever you thought she gave you . Now that she had the family backing.

In all you do, speak to your husband. Reason with him hopefully he will understand your point.

And honestly apologize to your in-law.

Ten children? Jesus christ . Make she manage her pikin na shebi she's alive. Send upkeep money from far

Your mother inlaw can't be telling you to train her daughter. You on the other hand had no right to tell her you didn't ask her to birth 10 children....that was disrespectful.
Some of you don't know how to handle certain issues at all.
Before sending her back, did you tell your husband about it? What was his response?
I hope you are not telling lies sha, cos you that could tell your mom inlaw you didn't ask her to birth 10 children, you come off as being troublesome.

Did you tell anyone what the problem was before you sent her back to her family, did you report, that you are now waiting for them to ask you what the problem was when she went home? It was not even in your place to do that. Your husband was the right person to tell her to go back to his family. You didn't tell anyone not even your husband before you sent her away. you are mannerless if nobody has told you so, and you even have the effrontery to be asking your Mil stupid questions.

At least you are honest to write everything you did without sugarcoating your side of the story but you lack emotional intelligence.

What has the girl been doing, you didn't say.

Anyways, go to the meeting and tell them everything she did while she lived with you. Apologies to your husband for doing whatever you did behind him and let him know how having her around has been frustrating you. He is the one who can back you up.

Wisdom is profitable to direct. You didn't manage it well at all. Anyways, attend the meeting. Restrain from talking too much. Apologize to your mother in-law and then let them know that you you will continue to provide the girl with all the necessary support while she stays with mama. No argue, just be polite.

You have no right to send her out of her brother's house without discussing with your husband first..
Ladies once you marry a man, you married his families too..
You didn't mention what she did to you and why you want her gone,but that decision is not yours to make..
Talking to your mother in-law in that manner is wrong,will you talk to yours like that?..you can tell her that you can't because she doesn't take correction.. simple..
You didn't handle it well at all.

I feel they are using that girl to monitor your movement since your husband is not in the country. Her main reason for living with you is to be given her mother feedback on all that is going on in that house and how you are spending her son's money or if you are making any kukere movement behind your husband

Don’t take her back
Don’t go for the meeting
Beg your husband well and say all the sweet things to get him to tell them the sister should stay with the mum and he’ll be helping her there. She must not stay with you to get help
If your husband lived in the house, her presence will make small sense
Why force her on a non relative that she doesn’t get along with

The full story is not being told. If your husband is not around why is she staying there with you instead of staying with another of her siblings, particularly a sister? Who would choose to stay with a sister in law instead of their own blood sister? I can only assume that where you live is somehow better, maybe more space or close to schools, because I would never choose to live with a sister in law without my brother unless we already had a great relationship. Not sure why you were chosen.

Offer to assist from afar and commit to helping the young woman with her education, charity begins at home. Although this is truly not your responsibility and that of the blood relations, if it is such that they are incapable of doing this and you can then do so, even in a small way. With Nelfund nobody needs to break their necks financially to train anyone, the government has put the means in place so that everyone can get an education without immediate financial pressures. Even if you dislike your mother in law speaking badly about her life choices was wrong, maybe she did not even have a choice in her pregnancies, culture and lack of contraceptives could have made her not have a choice, especially if her husband had high libido. If she had not had 10 children you would not have a husband, so why talk down to her about something that benefits you. Obviously, there is something good about her son why you chose him for a husband, which means she raised him well, even with limited resources.

We have to know how to speak kindly to each other even if we are upset. Make sure you apologize at the meeting and bring a good apology gift with you. Truthfully, there is no real coming back from what you said, it was that ugly. They should not force that young person to live with you. Let them find one of her siblings who is on the ground to live with or she stay at home with her mother.

Why do i refuse to believe this Lady?

Madam please becareful and let that child be.

You should be happy that someone is there at home to help you do some chores.

Hmmmmmm!

DOZZYBEST.

This new generation of wives will send our parents to their early grave. Who asked you to speak nne? You may be thinking about it but don’t talk. You don’t understand that older people have got a way of solving problems Abi? You are lucky she only called a family meeting. Some of them will go diabolical if you don’t know.

Odi ka ina amu amu? Better apologise ooo. Mmhhh!

Apologize to the mother and tell them the problem s you have with the girl.