Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists - Dating /Married To Someone Who Does Not WORK.

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Sunday, October 25, 2020

Sunday In House Gists - Dating /Married To Someone Who Does Not WORK.

 Some relationships and Marriages are breaking up slowly because all the responsibility is on one person...





One works and provides everything and is fatigued while the other through no fault of theirs cannot get a job and spends their time at home feeling guilty/or enjoying what the other brings in.....


Are you married to someone who brings nothing to the table money wise and you are so angry that you are almost walking out?..what makes your anger worse is their attitude towards taking from you without feeling guilty?or are you giving and enjoying it knowing things will change soon/one day?


And for you that is the jobless one,how do you feel?No work?did you go to school?

what brought you to your present condition?

Lets gist!!

100 comments:

  1. I am a working class lady and earning so well. I hardly see guys that earn close to me or just working. The ones that are good looking and not working are always the ones interested. Infact I ran as fast as my soul could this last one cause he hid behind the scriptures and wanting to get closer than ever to me both financially and emotionally. He is not working and lives on single matured ladies. Me I have wise since 1900.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most working class women are in your shoes...
      I keep wondering why you guys attract men like this..

      Delete
    2. Please run, hang in there the best would come.

      I read a testimony here about a matured lady who met her hubby on a plane after she almost married a fvck boy

      Delete
    3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜น Run as fast as your legs can take you jare..

      Delete
    4. Was working and earning more than hubby when we married. He picked a better job with 3x my salary 3months after marriage. Not working at the moment, but earn roughly 1m monthly through my investment. Looking for a job that would just make me dress up and go out every morning.

      Delete
    5. @i am the queen and boss of this blog (CHIEF) I am a amn and will tell you why working class ladies attract such men. The men know that such ladies are actually humble. It takes disciple for a man not to talk of a woman to be her own employer or be employed by someone; taking indignities of the attitude of customers to make some money. The sad thing is not appreciating such women. It makes me wonder why a bloke will come to the beer parlour and talk down on dependent ladies as "ashawo ten kobo" only to go home to a working class wife and beat her up calling her Ashawo for coming home late due to traffic or work load.

      Delete
    6. Anon 14:45, I am not sure I agree with you. Is it that the working-class men can’t identify and appreciate this discipline you are talking about?

      Delete
    7. Rich women attract broke guys because the motivation for many men that makes them work hard is to have access to many pussies and dominate them.

      A hardworking woman will never allow you shit on her in the name of fucking many pussies. She has what you have. And is ready to walk away.

      Secondly, you CANNOT dominate a hardworking woman and treat her like trash.

      All these you get easily with a lazy woman that needs a man to feed her.

      The broke guys have tried hustling, e no pay. So they leech on hardworking women to use their money and dominate other lazy girls waiting on men to feed them.

      Delete
    8. I have been working since age 23 even before service i looked for a job simply cos i was bored and idle. I will rather be SINGLE than be with a jobless man. If as a woman i have never been jobless,i wonder what will carry me to a jobless man.
      There was one i met when i was single dat lied to me he was a biz man,meanwhile he was always idle. Chatting me on BB 24/7, i just put my two and two 2geda and knew he must be lieing and jobless,all he does is dress up and go out doing fine boy....after i found out i didnt even grant him audience again,God punish love. I cant just be attracted to a jobless man.....even if im richer than a man its still better. But you MUST bring smthn to d table. It will bring anger and contempt when its a woman solely bringn to d table. Rltshp will eventually break down.

      Delete
    9. Anon 15:26, I beg read by yourself wetin you type and honestly answer if E make sense?

      Delete
    10. Going through comments on this blog makes me wonder the kind of marriages people are in.

      1. We need to understand that what works for one might not work another

      2. There is absolutely nothing wrong in one spouse been the bread winner. If God lifts you up help your family succeed.

      3. Life happens. My husband earns like 1mil for more than 5 years and I earn like 400 to 600k monthly depending on sales for that month this is aside my contributions deducted directly from source before it hits my account. However Covid19 happened and the new job he joined this year stopped paying salaries. Does this mean I will not help with house Bill's as much as I can. Do I expect him to steal, do drugs or use you for rituals. Am I not to support him till his able to get on his feet back. I have businesses that brings in money as well and I earn good profit. When he was earning his money for years I always always control his finances to achieve our family goals. So if i go with some comments on this blog all of a sudden he his not a real husband. I should be a terrible wife cause of a set back.

      I always always say this. The only man that a woman should not support his a man that does nothing. No money. No helping out at home. Nothing. That one is a sperm donor. But a man that hustles even if na 150k and you earn 1mil and he does his responsibility without looking at your money na man. Tables turn and tomorrow he will earn his pay.

      I learnt alot from my parents marriage. My mum was a bread winner for years. My dad was hustling. He paid our Bill's except clothing and put money for food down daily although my mum would add hers. After awhile my mum gave my dad good money to add to his hustle. He used it well with what he had. Now my father owns 3 very successful business and paid my mum monthly for doing nothing till she died. She is late now and my dad does not even want to hear another wife. He keeps on saying no woman can replace my wife. My story is long.

      My point. Dont just take any advice you hear and run with it. I pray God gets my husband a job soon in Jesus name let me go back to been a pampered wife. A man that knows I have money but does not look at it. He his even ashamed to receive money from me sometimes. He feels bad that I am paying bills. I see his ego been tampered with when I do that.

      I actually pity some people that take advices on this blog seriously. Some people are living in abject poverty or just a bit above poverty line and come here and give ridiculous advice.

      Delete
    11. Please help us with these business ideas of yours so we can learn

      Delete
    12. Anon 16:59,I give you a thousand likes, for your comment. One of the best comments I have ever seen read in this blog.

      Delete
    13. Anon 17:14 May God continue to bless you and your family. I wish most women are like you.

      Delete
    14. I over like this comment. Thank you ma'am

      Delete
  2. Well, I got married to my husband when he wasn't working and we did not quarrel or break up because of that. I did not marry him because of the monies I was expecting from him. I married him because I loved him the way he was/is. He did not "sit at home expecting to feast of what I brought to the table." He was at home babysitting, cooking, shopping with the baby/ies, going to pay the bills and so on. He was useful to me and treated me with respect. I knew that at God's own time, he will make him very productive in terms of finances. All I had was his and the little he had was mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mercy Johnson is this you?...
      If I have a brother like your husband,I will disown him!..
      Where I come from,we see men like this as efuluefu!...

      Delete
    2. Interesting but your type is very rare o.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น

      Delete
    3. For how long will he continue that.
      Please MR GOODY-HUSBAND SHOULD also contribute financially too to the home in any little ways he can.
      It's good he's homely.

      Delete
    4. okay o. do keep us updated dear. there are a lot of bob the builders on this site who will come for anyone that tells them the truth so my own is to keep looking

      Delete
    5. @14:41
      We did not solicit for your opinion. We like it like that for more than ten years and not complaining.
      I and the kids do not lack anything we need.

      Delete
    6. The true definition of marriage. You are partners. Both working together tirelessly for the family, his contributions just as important as yours. I applaud your functional system.

      While I am an advocate of couples being able to bring something in financially, I also feel like it has contributed in part to a rot in morals and values in our generation. Understandably, given our economy, parents spend more time chasing money than with their own children. So it is admirable that you have both found a way to give your children parental attention while still chasing money.

      Delete
    7. 3Amigos Bread @ 6 Okesalu St, Ikotun. 0813851632825 October 2020 at 14:57

      Anon 14:05 ๐Ÿ‘

      Adivincci, her type is actually not rare. Most times, women have issues with their non-working husbands if he doesn’t help out at home also. Anon 14:05 married a sensible man that helps with the house chores, caring for the children etc. She doesn’t come home to meet a dirty house or unfed children which is usually the gripe of working women with stay at home husbands. Even if Anon 14:05 gets stressed financially, because her husband is a good man I doubt she’ll lash out at him but if he was a lazy stay at home husband, then....

      Life happens at times and a man may lose his job but what he does after he lost his job determines a lot.

      Delete
    8. Wow 14:05. You are so lucky.
      I pray your home continues to be peaceful and something good comes up for your husband.

      Delete
    9. I really do not understand why people give advice to those that did not ask them. The lady here is living out a fulfilling marital life and someone is fuming? Are there really ladies that hate to see a peaceful marriage? Chim o

      Delete
    10. 14:41, carry ur advise and go. @Kami, you're very correct.

      Delete
    11. In as much as I applaud you both steadfastness in your home considering all considerables, 10 years is such a long for a man to stay home and babysit!!
      If you can help him start of any kind of bussiness until his desired job comes. He will even honour you more.

      Delete
    12. WOW 10yrs,sorry is it dat he cant find a job or you guys decided together he will be a house-husband.
      Pretty sure u live abroad sha. Bcos if its naija fraustration will surely set in.

      Delete
    13. @Beds
      We live in Nigeria, do you have any problem with that? You really equate abroad with heaven?

      Delete
    14. Anon17.27 im probably one of d least to equate abroad to heaven. I only said dat bcos its more common to find a house husband abroad. Some do dat bcos d wife earns far more and instead of wastn money on child care d man stays home.
      Why shld i have a problem when it isnt my life. Only asked a questn for clarify.

      Delete
    15. Anon. Do what works for your family and makes you happy. The fools advising your husband to get a job are nowhere as happy with their ‘money making’ husband as you are with yours who gives you peace.
      Imagine, someone even advising that 10 years is too long for him to babysit his own children. Entitled, judgemental ignorant and empty holes giving advice from a place of inexperience and low education. So annoying.

      Delete
    16. @14:05 Thank God for your husband but please find something for him to be doing no matter how small. It's your life and family we can't bully you into anything you don't want. Just find a job/business for him to boost his self esteem as a man and a provider. What will he tell his children and extended family? Don't reduce him to a baby sitter . He is more than that and life can happen. My 2 cent

      Delete
    17. Anon, ordinary question and you're being so defensive. You wrote your story so expect questions to be asked.

      Queen and boss, that is not a man. Na woman with dick wey dis anon describe so. I can never subject my husband to such torture! A man should be a MAN and carry out his manly responsibilities biko

      Delete
    18. God bless you dear @ Anon. Leave these enemies of progress. There is no one recipe for marriage. Do what works for you, as long as your husband is a good person and appreciates. One day one day, e go better.

      Delete
  3. I am not in this predicament presently and i wouldn't know how it feels like.I sure will read comments

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have a lot to say on this topic but let me gather strength first.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you need a glass of wine? Here you go๐Ÿท ๐Ÿ™‚

      Delete
    2. Mystic, Nessa has a cup of wine beside her already. Lol

      Delete
    3. Anon how is that question a relationship between abroad n heaven? A place where man is at home n woman brings in the bacon sounds like heaven to you? I actually thought the same thing B and R thought of....house husbands are indeed more common abroad. In naija by the time in-laws finish putting mouth in your matter ehn...you husband will start something by force just to get them off his back. kudos to you guys for making it work. You must really be a good wife who shows her husband respect

      Delete
  5. I could not get a job after graduation. I am not biz oriented. My now husband knew I was jobless n went ahead to marry me, he helped me further my studies, n I'm currently getting a skill, in all he hasn't mocked me for being jobless. We have been married for 16yrs now, he still gives me upkeep money, say i should look like someone's wife, my friends think I'm working n dey dont understand why whenever they ask for a loan I cannot give them. The one dat know I'm not working will be coaxing me to ask my husband for a loan for her n I cannot, he is trying and i am not about to abuse his generosity. I am in my 40s never worked for a day, maybe daz why I look like a baby among my babies. Once I master my skill, I'd make money so I won't disturb my children for money when I'm older.
    God willing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is how a marriage should be..
      Enjoy my sister...
      You are an oriaku not okpata aku!..

      Delete
    2. you're lucky nblessed dear. few can boast of what u have

      Delete
    3. I've been married for 14 years and worked for 4 years. We have 2 children and I take care of them. I also run a small business from home. My husband ensures we are okay. We have mutual respect for another and he shows me love. It has worked for us so far. He is a banker and works long hours, we agreed that bot of us can't be away too long from the children.

      Delete
    4. You are the confirmed married woman with a real husband. Enjoy.

      Delete
    5. please poster 14:14, God forbid it will happen but if your husband loses work or God forbid he passes away, are you in a position to step in financially and look after yourself and your children?
      The best marriage partnership, means both couples being able to depend on each other in all areas as much as possible or being able to step up where the other one cannot. If it is work you will be doing and saving money then so be it or using the money he gives you for investment to increase your income.
      Please lets all be wise, by making our own money and be saving, no matter how small. Little drops make a big ocean. No one knows tomorrow.

      Delete
    6. Mr. Lawyer back to sender on behalf of the anonymous.

      Delete
  6. I always knew I wanted to get married and add value to my spouse but had I known he was a pathetic lair with no future ambition, ridiculing all my effort and making me look like the bad person?

    Got married in 2015, got a teaching job in 2016. I brought all I had to the table and was down for all the support i could render, but he was never satisfied....

    Thank God the case is in court, can't wait to get divorced.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eyah! I pray that you be fine and of course,if divorce is the only option that you have got then so be it

      Delete
    2. Your mistake is bringing all to the table...
      If you earn 10k,tell him its 5k..
      Use the remaining money for your upkeep!..
      You need to look good mehn..
      It would make him to stop idling away...

      Delete
    3. What I AM QUEEN said and more. pls pls pls and pls ladies do not fall for this trap. if u are making substantially more than your husband beware esp if he has a lot more to gain from you than you do from him. he will hide, lie n pretend so much that when he finally marries u and relaxes himself n stops pretending ,your mind will not be able to contain the truth of what is happening. example if you are an accomplished doctor abroad and he is a struggling tailor n businessman or hustling lawyer in Nigeria telling u sweet nothings , hmm do your investigation n tread very very carefully. The other day we saw story of a woman whose husband has an ex he cannot get rid of. possibly he is in love with the ex but using the wife for financial security

      Delete
    4. So sorry about your experience, you did nothing wrong sharing your earnings. Marriage has no other definition aside ‘you and I become one’ but each should pull his weight, financially or otherwise. Wish you the best when you give it another shot.

      Delete
  7. There are still men who don't want their wives to work. They are willing and very capable to take care of their families.

    Any man who's angry and frustrated because his wife doesn't have a job should cover his face in shame.

    If your wife doesn't have a job, give her some money to start her own business. That's what responsible men do. Don't frustrate her.

    To be a man no be by mouth.

    The Bible says that you should take care of your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why should he be ashamed.....which kind of ass backward thinking is that ?.....so after all the education, what is the point if women are still going to end up in the kitchen.
      you said men should give women for business ? do u think all men have excess money...do u guyz think men have one special wardrobe they pull money outof at any time ?..
      what is then the use of training, educating and empowering a female child in rhe first place if we expect her husband to be to do it again ?

      Delete
    2. wow! beautiful. praying n looking to the LORD for that type of man. seems there are few in nigeria. the rest want a hardworking strong wife aka work mule to work her hands to the bone to be family backbone while he has enough time on his hands to cheat and use her money to carry women upandan. when dating a man, use style to search for clues that he has that type of mindset cus the wives of those men end up suffering so much n losing the man to pampered women outside. Age and stress shows easily on a woman's body n add childbearing n childrearing to the mix as well, on top working hard to feed the family. That makes for an aged frustrated bitter looking wife. n it is that same stupid man of hers that will start looking at other women outside because his wife at home is not keeping up with her appearances n looks.

      Delete
    3. May God not allow me b surrounded by suffering women in d name of hard work. Aji gbasha

      Delete
  8. Immediately I finished my waec exam,I met one who wasn't working then and was so manipulative and aggression but I stuck around and paid dearly for it. It's almost 9 years now and he is back and richer but i'm not interested in him again despite me not being very rich. I'm optimistic that thing will be change for the best for me soon but i can't be with him despite his money.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The story of many a Nigeriannwoman in 2020. Someone once said women are breadwinners when a man cant get a job coz they are Ashawo and doing runs for the family. I weak o and told him.the reason why women are doing better than men in this economy is versatility and adaptability. A woman that is a teacher is also selling crayifih on WhatsApp but her Male colleague is waiting for salary that government is owing for 5 months. A female lawyer is also selling okirika baby wears from.trunk of her car to make ends meet while Male colleague in same office with same low pay is doing "I am learned colleague" without extra work. A female nurse is also doing home service of injections while the Male one is fighting to be Head of Department uppadan and gossiping with MD about other staff. A female student is selling weaves and doing braids to help herself while the Male one is pressing computer to get a white whale that will say "obey who" at their future green card wedding , a jobless housewife is also selling cakes and aju mbaise on Facebook while a jobless husband feels going out to do bricklayer job till conditions improve is beneath him. My neighbour lost his bank job. His wife is a nursery school teacher who goes out every Saturday to decorate wedding halls and cook as a caterer. My husband has asked him why he has not joined her in doing it and he gave him a strange look.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women dey try jare .

      Delete
    2. 3Amigos Bread @ 6 Okesalu St, Ikotun. 0813851632825 October 2020 at 15:46

      From what I’ve observed on this blog, I believe you. Many women on here seem to have some sort of legitimate side hustle or another.

      Delete
    3. This is the reality of women. Forget social media narratives.

      Delete
    4. Anon 14:24, women dey really try jare. Many (not all) women are Genuinely Hardworking, versatile, doesn't wait for inheritance from parents or only government salary.
      That's why most male pensioners die quickly because their kids who saw their mothers bear the home front burden mostly look after their mum than father.
      But carrying a home is a collection of both couples (husband and wife together)

      Delete
    5. Honestly! I can say that in at least 80% of nigerian homes, women are the bread winners or contribute equally/almost equally to upkeep! Forget all the trash Nigerian men write on social media. Nigerian men are starting to look one kind in my eyes. They seem to be too many leeches amongst them! Just look at this #endsars protests, why it fathered such momentum is because women actually pushed it. See Aisha Yesufu, Feminist coalition, DJ Switch and co! Many Nigerian men nowadays have nothing to offer unfortunately!

      Delete
  10. God forbid!...
    Any man that is leeching on a woman is cursed!..
    I can never respect you if am the bread winner!..
    Never!..
    Infact,the marriage will break up cos my love,feelings for you will drop drastically.
    Even your touch or presence will be irritating...
    I'm raising my boys to be the head!!..
    This is an abomination where I come from..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Q/B
      You think you are wise, it is greed that has been your bane. They are greedy where you come from. Why do I say that?
      Stella wrote; "not working due to NO FAULT OF HIS..." That means, like laid off (especially due to covid or recession etc.)
      I pity those you copy you verbatim. They will fail this exam called marriage.

      Delete
    2. The reality is that some persons, both male and female are in this position due to the harsh economy. I am a working class lady and have met several insincere guys who only came around for what they can benefit from me.

      I met my husband and he is a hustler, though struggling, I am the main provider and for the first time in my life, I am actually okay with it cos I know he isn’t a bad, lazy or stingy person, he is dependent on me because of circumstances and I know he will take care of me well when God lifts him up.

      I think it is more about the person than the circumstance, an irresponsible man is irresponsible then added to joblessness is just a disaster but a good person facing difficulties deserves help and support until he stabilized.

      Delete
    3. You will know the real character of your husband when he hammers. For now enjoy the humble man.

      Delete
    4. You can say that again BB, when a man is broke, he would be humble to the last but let him hammer small

      Delete
  11. Some months ago,I was in that situation
    Not working and relying on hubby (though not my fault,I searched for job but couldn't get any).
    I felt guilty because I was only collecting and not giving as I wanted. Thank God for I got a job. The feeling of earning my own money is indescribable.
    A woman's money is really her little God. I'm sure hubby is relieved and I'm so grateful for all those times he bore it all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a good man and i'm happy for you. Not the one that will start cheating with reckless abandon because you were financially incapacitated at that time

      Delete
  12. Working/being financially stable (especially in Nigeria) should be a priority.
    This is not just about the comfort it brings NO. though the future remains uncertain, it's mostly about your offspring.
    It is Evil to bring in Children we cannot take care of into the world to live a life that deprives them of their innocence so early in life.
    Secondly the inability to hold unto a job or business (male or female) is a sign of irresponsibility (not including spiritual bondage).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oo. It should be a priority no matter which country you are in. The bible says he who does not work, should not eat.
      I pray God helps all those who are struggling and gives you wisdom to make money

      Delete
    2. So you think you are responsible because u are able to hold unto a job or business? Have you thought of those who couldn't get a job out there ? Have you thought of those who their business went down because of one thing or the other ? I can see you are a very responsible woman.

      Delete
  13. Work or paid employment? Because, speaking for myself - I'm not in paid employment, haven't been for over 5 years but I damn well work and work very hard too.

    See how I run my home, take care of my children and do every other thing that my husband does not do and then let me seenif anyone can tell me to my face that "I dont work"

    Had to leave my job because it was tough to get a reliable nanny and driver. Picking the kids from school became a herculean task, leaving an important meeting because of a child's medical emergency - that day, I almost went mad. I saw several missed calls from my sons school and I had to excuse myself to find out what the issue was. Hubby was out of town, I made several calls to my sister, her husband, my friend- nobody was available to assist me. I had to leave and attend to my child who had a raging fever. Less then two weeks later, same kid had to be picked up from school again - this time, it was appendicitis (though he didn't have surgery eventually).

    The stories are endless. I just realised that getting a more capable nanny and a driver would mean more recurring expenses. Discussed with hubby and he was more than happy for me to quit and focus on the kids.

    Of course, this was because his salary could cater for us.

    It wasnt easy to give up my financial independence o and the "prestige" of being a "working class lady" but mehn...best decision EVER.

    To each his own jare but dem no born monkey wey go tell me say I no dey work sha. I go to bed tired every night especially since we entered lockdown and schooling takes place at home.

    Dazz all I wanna say ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow!

      Your children are worth it.

      Delete
    2. Your family are blessed to have you, you sound incredibly hardworking and supportive. The sacrifices stay at home parents make is invaluable.
      I pray that even though you're not in paid employment, you are acting with wisdom and have savings and investments, if not I encourage you to please do so. No one knows tomorrow.

      Delete
    3. This is what I have tried to explain to some people that they cannot get. What is important is to be able to run your home in the way that works. For a lady up there she is happily the breadwinner while her husband is taking care of the home and kids. Another lady had to resign her job to take care of her kids and home. They are both right and so are others in doing what works for them. People should stop trying to put others down or shame them because they feel superior that they are making more money. Most times it goes beyond money to the character of your spouse and you yourself that will help you both hold things together. So it is not a one size fits all something and requires grace, wisdom, love, hard work, sacrifice etc by both spouses.

      Delete
  14. He is not working, I work. All the people that will be telling you, break up with him, shatter him, they aren't going to help you get another husband. They will help to run you down with gossip. When another man comes to marry you, they are same people that will ask him what he is doing with a tokumbo divorcee?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's your husband. If he isn't cheating on you, I see no reason why you should divorce him

      Delete
    2. My dear, if you have a good man that isn’t working, support happily till he can stand on his feet. Ignore all these naysayers, I encourage women to run away from bad men that will make their lives miserable and difficult but poverty isn’t a crime and if the person is hardworking, it will never be permanent.

      Delete
    3. @oriaku my name is oriaku 2 . We’re partners ๐Ÿ˜‚my family hate me for not working ๐Ÿ˜‚ but my kids are well settled mannered peaceful cos I’ve mastered the art of taking care of them . Whilst I watch them scampering after their kids like rats. ๐Ÿ˜‚ I like my home mummy job can’t trade it for anything in this world ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜

      Delete
  15. Have your own money, nothing beats that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Agu
      and when you die suddenly, you kids become beggars from day 0?

      Delete
  16. Hey pretty girlie,just saw your shoutout now. I am better now. Thanks love❤❤.

    Lemme just sit and read comments o. Got nothing tangible to contribute to this topic.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well, I am not in that situation, by God grace I will never be. I have seen situations like that and it doesn’t look pretty for diverse reasons including:
    - growing disrespect and resentment for the man. This happens faster than if it’s the woman that is not working
    - frustration on the part of the sole earner, esp when the other party is complacent
    - sadness when the dependent has to beg for money for EVERYTHING
    - maltreatment meted out to the dependent, this happens faster when the woman is the dependent
    - poverty or below average standard of living! Not all men/women earn in millions, burden would have been lighter if shared between both partners.
    In all, I believe it’s not a good place to be.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think both spouses should be bringing in money. To prevent riches to rag stories if one of them dies.

    Too many times I see families that were living comfortably unable to maintain the lifestyle they had because one spouse does early.
    We have to plan for contingencies, it’s easy to be oriaku then turn to window that has to return to village after husband’s death just because you do not earn or know how to make money.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am yet to get a job and I am a lady, I don't want to get married without getting job. I feel like I'd be incomplete without my own money plus I'd be happier if I bring something to the table.

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    1. My dear if a good man comes and accepts you, will you now say no? Life is not something you can always measure and predict. In all put your trust in God.

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  20. A couple should live their lives the way it suits them. I worked for just 4yrs, got married and a year after while heavily pregnant,I lost my job. Hubby works in the oil sector and can comfortably run the house,give me an allowance and still have enough for investments. I had shops where I sell stuff making so much money but when my girls were quite youngI decided to close down the businesses, pooled my money into the money market and bought some properties,then I started staying at home fully. I have no regrets because hubby involves me in ALL he does, my name and his are on the documents of all his properties, I'm a signatory to all his accounts(even his salary account) and I hold all the debit cards. He trusts me and he's very generous with his money and very open in all things. Now our daughters are getting married and he's about to retire; I even get a percentage out of the retirement money just as he has done over the years anytime he got paid a huge sum.
    He has always believed that we are working together because it's not easy when your hubby goes offshore for weeks on end and you are left at home to nurse the kids. My girls are smart,courteous and very respectful and my hubby is very grateful for that and appreciates me all the time for this. People should stop insulting men and women who stay at home as long as it suits the couple. To each his own abeg

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    1. You are so fortunate

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    2. this is me right there I haven't worked for years by because I couldn't get a job then I faced starting a family... husband assist a lot and I have invested it in buying property and other investments.having a shop is not always the mark of an entrepreneur .there are a lot other types of investments ,I don't care what people say I love being home to monitor my kids, it has saved us from a lot of stories that touch .

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    3. I enjoy reading this o.Nice fam set up

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  21. Dating this divorcee , we both are though , I am working and have more money ,we are looking at getting married,he is really nice but financially things are not ok now as business isn't ok. I shoulder everything, it's not been easy as my kids are in University. My problems with him is that little thing he says it's because it's my money,we can't have argument without it going that way coupled with his jealousy and possessiveness . it's not been easy especially when no one supports you as against when I was free . When he has he brings freely but am wondering if I can keep up. I don't want to fail my son and daughter in University. He depends on commission from sales and rent.Things have been slow because of this extra responsibility.Worst still is his blackmail and domineering attitude.

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    1. Please Madam focus on your Children if the man's wahala is getting too much abeg, your Children first, don't let one man from no where stress you. Also I hope you have done your investigations on the man. All the best.

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    2. Why are you still with him? He has not shown you why his wife divorced him yet. Just wait until you guys get married. Come why are you living with him sef? Please walk away.

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    3. You have mentioned all these and you still want to marry him. Is singleness a curse or now that you should be enjoying your money you are stressed out by this guy

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  22. Every of the comment so far has been from a woman's point of view. Isn't that a pointer to something about the attitude of women when they happen to be the breadwinner?

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    Replies
    1. I am a man too Tommy. Why should a woman be breadwinner though?

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  23. 16:30, Runnnnnnnnnnn! Don't tie the nuptials with him. Keep it at relationship level biko to avoid stories that touch! That man will frustrate you! He has started already! ! Be careful

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