Hmmm.... na wah!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED
Good day B.V's I am 38 years working class single Mother who is being proposed to by a 27 year young man that was once a colleague but has now left for his masters abroad.
Although i like him but feel his too young for me, although he doesn't care about my age. please fellow Bv's am i right to feel that way? should i reject his proposal or should i say yes? what should i do? please your views...
Unless he has an ulterior motive for wanting to Marry you,I don't see why you should have a problem with the age difference,its just a number and love sees beyond numbers.
The nigerian man mentality when it comes to marrying or dating a lady older than them is horrible..They make a big deal out of it and this is the reason most naija women lie about their ages when they meet someone and see that age will be a problem........If you like him enough to marry him,then go for it but if you only want to marry him to change your name to Mrs,please dont do it...
All the best!!!
Life is too short for shit. If you like him please say yes.
ReplyDeleteDidn't 2020 teach you anything?
Poster follow Sandra's advice. Who old man help😕
Delete11year difference waooooooooo
DeleteIf u look petit and ever young like me u can go ahead but if the otherwise Abeg chill or just put it in mind that u just want a baby from him
Lol
You can marry him if you really like him and you are ready to face any outcome but sincerely as a mother i dont pray for such for my boys. Some paedophile date single mother's too to have access to their children, am not saying he is one o. It will be better if you marry someone of your age group.
DeleteEleven years is crazy. You probably look like his grandmother already, pls sav yourself the heartache and just let him go
DeletePlease, don't accept his proposal. His family won't accept you.
ReplyDeleteHarsh truth
Deletesad reality
DeleteAside his family sef, It feels somehow. Forget that age is a number thing in this case abeg. You too senior that guy so therefore, the accorded respect won't be there and all.
DeleteKindly look elsewhere ma.
The age gap is too much, hmmm. I honestly don't know how it will work but it is your decision to make.
DeleteYou're the one who have met the guy, so it's up to you to know how serious he is or not.
ReplyDeleteIf you believe that both of you can work then give the love a chance but with your senses. After all, age is just numbers.
I don't know how mentally matured that guy is. You don't need to rush, take your time and study the conversation, his views on life whether childish or not.
ReplyDeletePoster, be careful, yes, you heard right, be very careful!
ReplyDeleteYou need to know why a 27year old want to marry a woman that is 11year old older than him. They nor dey get sense finish and it can become draining both emotionally and mentally for you.
Please, before you make any decisions, make sure to consider your child, don't gamble with your child.
Remember, when you will be almost 50, he will still be in his thirties and then, he will now realised that you are too old.
Please, there are very few women around the world who marry a man that they are 10years or more older than and it ended well for them.
Be careful!!
What is this one saying? Are you not the champion of everything abroad is good here? If the man finds love, why don’t you let him do him, or in your abroad, similar couples with age disparity don’t marry? Or is not the man going to take her to the abroad and marry her, mtcheew☹️
DeleteI concur with you. The age difference here is quite high. Its not just like three or five years difference. I just hope he wont start acting up later. Another thing you have to know is that you will age faster than him.....
DeleteAlthough there are some exceptional humans and cases and i pray and hope ours will be one.
All in all, do what makes you happy....
Omo this is just the bitter Truth Mrs A you are right
Delete11years old and a single mother for someone that grows up in this Nigeria is rare. If you like him please take your time in studing him to avoid costly mistake.
DeleteAnon 15:44 Ms A is right, very few of such marriages last not just in Nigeria- everywhere. Be careful Poster, 11 years is not small, the gap is much
DeleteMs A, you have said it all. Correct. 👍👌
DeleteMrs A is very correct... but who knows, he might be genuine which I doubt... shine your eyes madam... may God give you the wisdom you need
DeleteStella it is like you took the words out of my mind. Poster also consider if that man will accept your child wholeheartedly. All the best and pls give us an update.
ReplyDeleteStella has said it all
ReplyDeleteAccept his proposal but find out from him why he really wants to marry you and then watch him closely.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile,have you met his family?
Hmmmm....
Find out from him? Really. You think if he's there for the gain he'd say that? Oh please
DeleteIf hus feelings are genuine and yours are too, i don't see why not. If he didn't tell you,you wouldn't know. Nobody else needs to know and even if they do,so effing what?
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly my problem now,I'm 38 single never been married a 30years old guy is asking me out but I feel I'm way older than him but he keeps saying age doesn't matter, I'm scared of saying yes and he's everything I want in a man.
ReplyDeleteOh dear!🤗🤗
DeleteI wish you would find love. I want to say try but I also don't want you to get hurt.
Get to know his true intentions dear!! Please don't be scared ok..Both of you should just be honest with yourselves and you will be fine..All the best..
DeleteSay yes dear. happiness is free
DeleteWaoooooooo hope he isn’t making u his meal ticket if not why not, have a baby no time to check time
DeleteDon't say yes abeg.
DeleteEasiest way to know his true intentions?. Take away everything possible he can gain from you and see if he sticks around. Don't give him money, connections, sex or papers. If he is still there genuinely and doesn't change then you have your answer. Good luck
DeleteLol @Babyrella
DeleteAnon 20:43 is correct, most guys are desperate at the moment. My under 30 colleague who earns over 400k monthly still dey look for sugar mummy... madam please shine your eyes
DeleteMy dear don't leave room for regrets. Go on dates with him... Get to know him more and his background. It might help you know his true intentions and whether you will be accepted
DeleteIf I were u, I'd turn him down. That 27yo is not ready to marry..he is still in school..
ReplyDeleteAt 28 I don't think any guy my age is ready enough for me sef
DeletePLEASE TAKE IT TO GOD IN PRAYERS
ReplyDeleteWell some people are like that they can't marry or date someone their age or younger,they like them older... it's more like their fetish
ReplyDeleteSo madam if he happens to fall in that category then you're safe
Your post is succinct with no extra subtleties which show your heart is at peace with other areas of your friendship and the only thing bothering you is the age, right?
ReplyDeleteIt is okay to feel uneasy when trudging a road you have never embarked on before especially when you decide to Look at this situation using an African Goggles he is young enough to be your kid brother. Let's add the assumption that you also belong to the category of women who love having a "silver-fox" (sides-eyes@kamikaze) then what to do, right?
Before proposal I believe comes dating. You dated this young man for a while and now he wants marriage and you suddenly feel tensed. Is it that you look down on yourself and you feel you are not desirable enough to be a wife? Does he know your real age? If he does and you didn't lie to him and there is no reason for you to think he has an ulterior motive then please, go ahead. Maybe he simply adores you. All things considered, some younger guys love older women and know this because my cousin is one of them.
May God increase your knowledge Isabella. I ♥ your reasonings.
DeleteAunty you again. Didn't you read he knows about her age.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThanks, covenant.
DeleteMe again? What did I do before🤔
I stole your sweet?
Anyway, sorry you hear? 😂😂😂
Manage this one 🍬🍭🍫17:19
Most guys within that age group kiss and tell... Be careful.. most guys drop the M word for older ladies just to do the do and brag Bout it... Thread carefully!
Delete27 years to 38 years. Please if it's your brother that is seeking this advice what will you tell him. Age is nothing but a number,agreed but this your age gap is wide.
ReplyDeleteI'd say you should look elsewhere.
Lovelace
My dear. The age difference is actually wide. Marriage is a lot of work and you would not want issues tomorrow. Nigerians attach so much to age.
ReplyDeleteIn all. Its your decision. Accept him if you are the type that don't listen to gossip.
Is he matured enough? Its not bad sha if da feeling is mutual
ReplyDeleteDear poster please do not accept his proposal. Y did he not ask you out when you were both in d same organization and y now that he is not even in the country? He just want to satisfy is curiosity.
ReplyDelete27?
ReplyDeleteIf you were my sister, I'd tell you to politely decline... e get why.
Marrying a single mom comes with a truck load of maturity and societal awareness, I doubt hes garnered that at 27, I doubt... though I might be wrong, but I'm a pretty good judge of a 27yr old libido and how it translates to love.
Poster I believe if you look within, you would get your answers...I believe both of you should be open to yourselves and know your true intentions..Also pray as well so it can help you make the right decision..All the best...
ReplyDeleteWhat you should be bothering about now is if his parents will oppose and eventually break you both up. That is where the problem might come from.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,the age for him is no problem, if you make up your mind it won't be a problem too. But before he engaged you were guys not dating?
I know a 26 year old guy that married a 40 year old, they’ve been married for 6 years now and still very happy, he doesn’t seem like a gold digger and he is exposed too but still chose you, there must be something he saw in you. I was an older single mum when I married my hubby too even though I’m just a year older, my husband is young, rich and a very good man, even me I’m still wondering why he chose me but he always says you can’t tell your heart who to fall in love with, it’s been 8 years and he is still the best guy I’ve been with, so poster take the risk anyway
ReplyDeleteYou want to compare 1 year to 11years??? I’m 3yrs older than my husband and people always think he’s older than me. So that age difference iud nothing abeg. But Biko 11yrs is a lot mann. And how you take know the 40yr and 26 yr couple are really happy? Do they tell you their struggles all the time? abegii
DeleteAccept his proposal when he is 30. For now keep studying him.
ReplyDeleteThe gap is way too wide, 2-3 years is OK but 11 good years, even if he wants to ,what of his family? No African parents will agree to such, just hold on ,to avoid heartache, yours will find you
ReplyDeleteDon't accept his proposal. He just wants to use you. He is probably in need of money and thinks that you will sponsor him while he is doing his masters. Haven't you seen the latest trend about sugar mummies vs girlfriends and sugar daddies vs boyfriends on twitter? He probably has a girlfriend his age or younger than him and he wants to use you as his sugar mummy but note that he will never marry you. He will marry his younger girlfriend. It seems that you are desperate to bear the title Mrs that's why you are even considering such pathetic offer. Of course even old age in a man doesn't guarantee anything but have you thought about the fact that his family will reject you because you are older than him? Is friends too will mock him and put him under so much pressure if his intentions of marrying you are real. Hmmmm, personally I would say forget about him. I don't have a good feeling about this.
ReplyDeletemadam marry him and get 2 kids from him first, frgt about the age and focus on the babies you will make.. Bv dede ugonna
ReplyDeleteMy husband is 10 years younger than me. We have been happily married for 7years. He is even looking like we are same age now. If i don't tell you, you won't know. I have no problems at all with his family. His parents are alive, siblings are alive-all 6boys, 1woman. Don't look at his age, look at his level of maturity. Some men are mature at 27 while some are babies at 40. Life experiences exposes some people to mature faster than their age. Look at his level of maturity, please.
ReplyDeleteDoes your husband know your real age? I am asking because some women lie about their ages when they are older.
DeleteAnon 17:46, you be Olodo, so you can't understand simple English. Madam that is 10 years older than her husband, ps enjoy your marriage, I'm in support of Age is just a number, as long as the younger is matured and has sense.
DeleteSome people just have to bring negativity into any happy story. I am sure you are a woman 17:46.
DeleteAm 38 and I met a man who is 32 on single and mingle August, I am head over in love with him but I would never marry such man because of the age difference and moreso hes married with kids. In as much as I enjoy his company but am always conscious of the gap in age. But na you wear shoe and na you know where e dey pinch u pass. Abeg Jesus assistant dem avoid my comment.
ReplyDeleteHe is married
DeleteHe is not an option!
Na wa ooo...and you still want to get married and you are with a married man. Where are your morals. Karma will get you IJMn.
DeleteI am a proud Jesus assistant and I take up your case file....stop fooling yourself and use that time to look for your own husband...he does not love you. Am sure you have been dickmatised hence the infatuation. Use your time well and search well. Jesus will see you soon. Your file is pending
DeleteHead over in love with a married man??tufia gi.
DeleteI was even happy for you thinking it was a single guy,woman you have a fish brain,that guy will so use and dump you.
You have no sense,your schoollfees is a waste.Stay there be cheating with a married man and your life will be so wasted ewu. You even have the guts to post and brag about it here,side chick kill you there.
Poster have you prayed about this, are you personally convinced that this would work. You know the guy more than we do and if he knows your age and still wants you and his parents are not against it please go ahead and marry him.
ReplyDeleteI know 54 year old woman married to a 34 year old man, yes his mother accepted her and they have a daughter and they are living fine so it's very possible for your own to work too.
You deserve to be loved, so accept it "if only" you're convinced remember none of us would be in the marriage with you guys.
I wish you the best
In every relationship, there will always be argument and misunderstanding and then he will feel you are disrespectful Because you are older than him then he will definitely leave because he will feel you can’t respect him because of the age difference. Maybe you should bring up a fight to see the type of man he is before you accept his proposal because from your write up I can see vividly well that you like him already.
ReplyDeleteThe age difference is much IMO. The truth is that women age faster than men in every aspect. By the time you're 50 and probably battling with menopause and all that comes with it including low libido, he'll be in his thirties and at his peak.
ReplyDeleteThink am well
Study him well and if he fits the person you want to spend the rest of your life with,then say yes..Wetin consine age for love matter ?
ReplyDeleteThe age difference is too much plus you're a single mum, I think the guy wants to milk you dry. Marry him and remain miserable as long as the marriage last.
ReplyDeleteDo even try it. So many flaws. You won't respect him. His family will go after you. A man's life starts at 40 then you will be 51. He will start chasing younger women. A man should marry someone 11/12 years younger.
ReplyDeleteI even disagree with a man marrying a woman 11 to 12 years younger. Will he be able to keep up with the sexual intimacy at a certain age? Also he go dey command the wife like say Na hm be her papa. No jare
DeleteIf that's the only problem then it's not a huge problem. Age is really nothing but a number. Take good care of yourself and watch your weight no one will ever know. I like ladies who break societal norms for love, as long as it's not a sin. Age, race, all those ones na norms and shouldn't be a deal breaker. Btw you both will live abroad where no one is interested in who is older than who..people are too busy to care. However one norm that can hardly be broken is family. Nigerian families are powerful oh, if they say their son won't marry you, he won't. So make sure you meet them and if they like you, that's it. Happy Married Life dearie, just put your marriage in God's hands. Hugs!
ReplyDeletePoster if you can respect him, honor him and be submissive to him as the head of your home no matter his age then go ahead to say yes to host proposal.
ReplyDeleteMost women do not respect a man they are older than, search yourself very well to be sure that no matter what you will never use words like after all you are not my mate, I am not your mate if you cannot say them marry him.
From my own perspective I feel 11years age Gap from a woman to a man is much o...you'll still go through the pregnancy stage ,child bearing etc all this changes a woman before you know it you'll be looking like his mother not even an aunt...and sincerely cohabiting with a man one is older than is a big task, will you be able to see him as the head of the house considering your age Gap?..please consider this an advice...may God guide you.
ReplyDeleteAge is not always nothing but a number, especially in terms of maturity/marriage. 27 is young mannnnn. As I. Youngggggg. I always use this rule. 5years Max. Either younger or older. Anything after that age, starts to feel like you’re their mama or they’re your papa, Especially you have a child already. You’ll so so feel like you’re catering to another child when the euphoric feeling don calm. You’ll feel so so frustrated when it comes to emotional maturity. You’ll feel like he should know or do this already without you telling him. Subtract 3 years from his age, that’s about his maturity age. Women mature much faster than men in some certain things. Maybe because we’re mothers and it’s innate. If you go ahead with this relationship, you’ll remember this chronicle
ReplyDeleteand it’ll be “I told you so” 🙄 find someone in your age group please and don’t settle. Goodluck
For you to write this chronicle, you already know your answer. You’re not comfortable with the age difference trust me. If he’s few years younger, then definitely go for it. 11yr gap is a big NO
ReplyDelete@ poster, i think i am confused by your writeup, you mean a colleague loves you then he travelled abroad and didn't ghost you and he is even proposing marriage and you are asking questions? You mean he didn't see other younger colleagues or females to date before he chose you? You do realise that he didn't need to marry you cos it's not like he owes you anything, he can chop and clean mouth.
ReplyDeleteWith that said, you didn't give us a lot of details about your relationship so i don't how to advise but if age is the only problem then you really don't have a problem, allow yourself to be loved while you honor your man and give him a great home that he won't regret.
I also suggest you meet with his family first and see if they are receptive towards you, from what you just typed this 27 year old man is mature, focused, driven, a goal getter and knows what he wants. Goodluck.