Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNDER PRESSURE
Stella Good day....
I don’t know if you or anyone can relate but I have been feeling so downcast since my birthday is approaching . Like the zeal to even dress up and get ready for work seems like an uphill task.
I feel so pressured.
Grandma keeps reminding me year in year out ''you will get married now it’s the end of the year nothing happened''. To be honest I am just trying to focus on myself , career while praying for a fantastic job , save and build wealth.
I didn’t even tell anyone I bought a land because they will start saying “focus on marriage”. Instead of even commending me . I try as much as possible to pick up the little bills I can at home. My sister is not even in the country to face similar pressure so they only talk to her via phone.
The other day you asked via boredom eliminating post if one needed 100k will you get from your dad or mom side. Sadly I thought of it and NONE from both sides because everyone is struggling and facing their own lane.
I don’t want to enter into a union with someone I don’t like or enter and be the breadwinner. My mum did this and growing up she was always so bitter and angry towards us the kids.
I am turning 32 by the way.how do I overcome this feelings? it’s being here all this while and this pandemic sort of increased the feeling.
How do you overcome the feeling of being pressured?WOW,i don't even know.let me read comments on this as well.
How do you overcome the feeling of being pressured?WOW,i don't even know.let me read comments on this as well.
If they are pressuring you to marry,why don't you ask them to provide the husband?
You just have to find the strength from God and within.
ReplyDeleteYou can do all things, through Christ who strengthens you, amen.
It's well with you.
Happy Birthday in Advance
@poster you need to first differentiate the difference between been and being first then you’re good to go
DeleteLmao @16:11 😁😁😁
DeleteWhat is differentiate the difference. Bad English.
DeletePoster, you better look for someone very serious wether he doesn't have plenty money but he's focused and can take care of you.
ReplyDeletePlease don't look for anything, enjoy your life and keep building. By the grace of God, a suitable man will find you at the right time.
DeleteYou know what this depression and unhappiness will make out of you? Yes, it will make you age quicker.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever prayed and fasted and studied the Bible to know Jesus as your savior? If all you live for is to pursue marriage and not righteousness, you are not doing yourself any good. Time to try "who" works, who gives life in abundance.
Everytime they are pressurizing you, just try and remember all the people you know that have rushed into marriage and are regretting it, and think of people that were patient and enjoying it, it will give you sense.
ReplyDeleteDon't let anyone force or push you into marriage, please, don't allow them. They won't be there with you in the marriage.
It's just like people that will be asking you when are you having another child, as if they paid for the last CS I did, or they supplied all the diapers and formula I used when my breast refused to lactate.
People should keep calm and stop giving others unnecessary pressure jare.
Your head dey dia sonia
DeletePoster I am happy that you are doing well for yourself. I understand how you feel cause I am somehow in your shoes however see it as coming from a place of care as that is the way they can show concern..However the ball is in your court, you decide how to treat the pressure coming from both outside and within(yourself)..Be like the proverbial lizard that jumped some heights and landed without hurting itself and hailed itself for its acrobatic prowess.. Learn to praise yourself and from there, pick up on areas you need to improve on..You also have a gratitude list of things you are grateful and live your life to the fullest....
ReplyDeleteOne thing I believe is: Love finds you when you aint looking..Invest in self development, smile a lot, engage in voluntary services, reward yourself for little wins and have a good relationship with God..Whenever they ask you about husband, smile and tell them that it will happen and they should pray for you, then keep it moving..I join my faith with yours that it will happen believe it..Just concentrate on how to be a better person for each passing day and your own man will locate you..All the best...
Amen. Me too
DeleteUhn uh Stella, if she asks they'll provide one golddigger or unequally yoked man. Let people allow things happen at the ordained time and stop pushing people to unhappy, unsustainable unions.
ReplyDeletePoster, concentrate on YOU. Go out to hangout alone or with friends because you want to blow off steam or relax NOT because you are looking for a man (so desperation does not make you fall for the wrong one).
DO NOT LOOK FOR A MAN, let him look for you, value you, woo you.
Understand that everyone's star is different. A friend's wife died after 10 years of marriage. I left my marriage pregnant after just 6 months.
Your story is different; don't skip chapters.
Focus on your happiness, dreams & goals and the inner peace and aura radiating from within you will bring the right man knocking on your door.
I like Stella's answer. Ask them to provide the husband.
ReplyDeleteI had one aunty like that and she's close to my family. Everytime she sees me, she reminds me about my single status and how her children that are supposed to be my little bride/ ring bearer/flower girl are outgrowing the post.
The day it entered my brain ehhnn...I told her to shift for me in her home as I won't mind being her husband's second wife.
Nne na there church close🤣. She doesn't talk to me again and marriage harassment end.
But I do my Christian duty by greeting her Sha.
Hahahaha you dey craze ooo. So you want her to shift for you. No mind her, shebi she keep quite.
DeleteIjeoma, good for you.
DeleteI detest when people harass others about issues like marriage, childbearing, etc. Like, back the heck off and allow people breathe. I still maintain that people who whine about other people’s marital status, not having children yet, etc are mostly very miserable and pathetic so they kinda project their frustrations on others.
I especially feel for people with family members with such mentality...must be exhausting.
Just find a church to serve God ,it is in doing something for God that He will see that you needed a thing or another and he will give it to you
ReplyDeleteI'm eager to read suggestions from others.
ReplyDeleteI turned 30 in October and met someone just before my birthday.
He's been supportive, emotionally available , caring and almost all I'd want in a husband.
He has officially asked me to be his girl while we work out our marriage plans.
I've told him one step at a time and even tho I'm pressured from all angles, I want to be sure he's indeed someone I can live with.
May God perfect all that concerns me and bless me with a job once the marriage is certain to hold.
I'd need to relocate to join him and I need a job in his base.
God, may your will be done.
Amen
"seek the first the kingdom of God and it's righteousness and all other things will fall in places for you".you need know and understand the reason God brought you to this earth.the man you marry now can determine the change of destinies so please be careful..."sharp" mouth whenever the discussion comes up and you LL see magic,feel free and enjoy singlehood.ps:when you rush in u definitely rush out.✌️
ReplyDeleteDo not let anyone pressure you for marriage. I stopped taking my mum's call for this reason until she stopped talking about it at every call
ReplyDeleteI stopped seeing or talking to my immediate elder sister for almost 3years, just because she was putting pressure on me and I wasn't ready. I only started talking to her when I was ready and had met my husband. Please stay away from people who think you were created just for marriage sake
DeleteStart by loving your self, be focus on what you do and always thank God. Don't let anyone pressured you into marriage that will make you unhappy...
ReplyDeleteLearn new skills.
Poster, do what makes you happy not anyone. Focus more on You, You, You. Don't allow anyone push you into wrong hands.
ReplyDeleteTake enough time. People are marrying in their 40s, 50s, 60s.
Just focus on God and yourself
It is simple now.
ReplyDeleteJust shot out their pressure by focusing on the things you really want to achieve,Those things that make you happy.
Imagine yourself achieving all that gradually and forget about any disturbances .
Commit your affairs to God. He has the final say.
Poster please focus on building yourself first,i made sure i was very comfortable before getting married and this i did at a tender age,considering the fact that i was raised by a single mom. My husband respects me for that. The right man will come along,don't be hard on yourself,sending love and light your way 😍❤
ReplyDeleteAre you pressuring yourself? Why do you want to get married right now? What are your reasons? Are they the right ones? While you are waiting to be found and be wedded, what are you doing? What are you learning? Are you networking? What other goals do you want to achieve? What are you working on? What are you building? You need to have these things. Before/during marriage. If you have them already and stay focused, u won't have time to entertain pressure and yours will find you eventually.
ReplyDelete...did you read the chronicle? Or you just felt like castigating someone. Please read to understand because this is off point
DeleteNobody is pressuring you, what do you expect your grandma to to be telling @32. She is telling you exactly what she ought to be telling you. Did she put a gun to your head and say you must marry? As you age your parents have the right to be worried, it's your responsibility to calm them down, let them know nothing is wrong with you. Jumped out of that depressed internal environment and make yourself happy.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm...story of my life. My own father sent me out of his house because I couldn't bring home a man at 28. I left, I have peace,we don't even talk again. My mum? She cant say a single prayer without reminding God I'm still single. Where do people find correct husbands abeg?
ReplyDeleteMay good & sound marriage happen for us soonest. Amen.
Amen
DeleteThat's extreme from your Dad. But then normally at 28 you are old enough to leave home, especially if you are no longer welcome there. Living as an unmarried adult with African parents is not for the faint hearted. I hope lines fall in place for you and you channel that to success. I have never seen any African parent dislike their successful child, married or not. Make money, send them money, and see them bow at your feet and call you every Sunday. Good luck and Amen to your prayer.
DeleteAnon 17:13, i say amen to your prayers. Your dad is petty 😡
DeleteGOD forbid parents whose love and support you have to buy
DeleteIs God that will give you peace out of this pressure.
ReplyDeleteAs you are working hard for a good life in feature, pray to God for the right man to come.
Stop feeling pressured. Go out there and date. Just go on dates and do my toe your self mentally to any guy. Dontne quick to trust a guys words. Have gin amd the right guy will show up when he will show up.
ReplyDeleteWhile building yourself, go out there and mingle. Meet new people and socialize. change your environment if you have to. Leave your environment that’s putting so much pressure on you regarding marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf you really want peace of mind, you need to shut them up outright! You may have to be rude just this one time to achieve it.
ReplyDeleteShow them small red eye and be very stern with your warning that NOBODY should ask you about marriage! They'll see the man when you find him and bring him home to them.
After the deed, apologise briefly but you've passed your message. Worked for me!
You deserve peace of mind, a good marriage is sweet but not the ultimate, your happiness and peace is.