Hmmmm,na wah!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
I have been chatting with this guy for over a month cos someone gave me his contact to do some job for me. The guy kept on giving me appointments to hang out at least have a drink together but I kept on disappointing him at one point or the other, so finally I decided to be a good girl and just to hand a drink with him.
We had a date recently at a bar that is open, the guy was all over me as if I was his missing palliative..
We talked a lot mostly about his business, his past, school, work and before we left there he was already acting like we are dating already though I know he is playful, free minded and we both blended with all the gist. He asked me to date him which I said nope...
my reason was because of my relationship with my guy ...My guy stopped talking to me,or picking my calls,or responding to my messages. I tried to speak to him to understand if he was done with the relationship but guy man hasn't said anything and he promised to return this January ending.
I don't want to say yes to another guy when I don't understand where I stand and I don't want yo completely send him away cos no one knows who the real Prince charming could be.
I am not in love with the new guy but I still love my guy, the new guy said I am catching cruise with him while he is serious I am joking. He has started giving me attitude since that very day, saying he wants to distance himself from me since I don't like him enough to date him but I have told him to take it easy on me and give me some time. By February I should know if I have been dating and loving myself or I still have my guy.
What should I do as I don't want to completely blank the new guy incase my guy is gone. The new guy is fun to be with, I like his vibe but I don't love him oh.
*Which relationship are you talking about?When a man ghosts you like this,you still expect to be in a relationship with him?wake up and smell the coffee...
Tomorrow now when you see his wedding invite,you will start screaming he broke your heart.....If he is not talking to you or taking your calls,he is no longer interested and has moved on either with someone else or alone...
Is difficult for you to carry both of them along? Any one that disembarks, u let go. Anyway, what made ur man suddenly go AWOL on u? Don't be a chicken, string him along d way he's doing too.
ReplyDeleteThat your ghost boyfriend is having fun somewhere and you are here still catching feelings. Wake up dear.
DeleteYou AWOL me I too will AWOL you
DeleteMan no vex everyone 🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️
Na so. Simple as ABC
DeleteDear Poster Guy 1 has given you the signs and body language already that he does not want you so why are you waiting for a verbal confirmation..The writings on the wall..Please respect yourself and leave him alone...Guy 2 Tell him that you want to be friends with him first, just take your time to know him better but the truth is you are still emotionally attached to Guy 1 that you are not giving anyone a chance to love you..You need to move on first before you can move or consider guy 2 or even guy 3..The ball is in court decide if the way you are torturing yourself emotionally is the best for you..All the best
ReplyDeleteWhat if your supposed guy comes back and only decides to be with you just for his visit? A bird in hand.....
DeleteI think it's obvious you've been ghosted. I don't think you should jump into another relationship, especially this new one. At least not now. Give yourself time. No rebounds.
ReplyDeleteI hate people who ghost.. immature lots!my ex was my bestie before we dated.i would discuss my relationships with him and he'd be advising and mumu me thought he had sense. He is the absolute worstest and I'm glad I saw through his BS. Our relationship was full of block and unblock.. ghosts & angels
DeleteHi poster, if that guy you're calling my guy upandan comes back to you, just understand that he has been dumped by that babe that has made him ghost you.
DeleteWhether your guy is ghosting you or not, I don't think it's right to use the new guy as rebound and end up hurting yourself more. Don't let him rush you into a relationship you ain't ready for. If he truly loves you, he should be patient till you are ready.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to be single for a while, let both of them be for now and concentrate on yourself. xx
I agree.
DeletePoster, you need some alone time. Please take time off to let go completely before seeking out a new relationship. I don't see you fully committing to the new guy should you choose to move forward with him.
Be good. Cheers!
See my two babies!!!
DeleteGiving advice with so much sense 😍😍
Sorry o, did you say you turned someone down because of a guy who ghosted you and referenced a date in January when he might have your time? And you too wants to stand still till he decides the status of the relationship? And you want the other guy too to stand still till your guy decides bah?!
ReplyDeleteChai!!!
See, enjoy yourself. Girl, in this whole equation do you even ever see yourself as the price? You should see yourself as the queen to be won by the best guy and they should be competing over you. But your self esteem has eroded so much you are the one waiting in fear for residue from them. That is exactly how either of them who eventually wins you will treat you as an option.
My advice. Be selfish. Don't be scared for loosing any of them. There are plenty fishes in the ocean.
Best advice be selfish and I am enjoying myself right now, this is me right now, he ghosted me and I ghosted him in return then move on with another guy that's more better him in so many ways, right now he has been sending messages to me on Whatsapp and messenger with no reply from me.
DeleteI am also in the same situation with this poster but I have been advised to stop calling him and forget about him and that is what I am doing and I am giving other guys chance
Delete.
Dear poster, i understand your plight but telling the new guy "nope" outrightly was not a good idea so you don't end up playing yourself 2-0. But the problem now is going back to say yes to the new guy without him giving you attitude at the end. I think you are still emotionally attached to your ex. Yes, your EX
ReplyDeleteGuy 1 has ghosted you. Guy 2 is someone you vibe with. Start with being friends cause you won't be fully dedicated to him as you still habour feelings for guy 1
ReplyDeleteI am in the same situation too, my boyfriend just left me like that. He ghosted on me, I have messaged him on WhatsApp several times called him several times but I don't get any response.... I was hurt and lost my self esteem.
ReplyDeleteNot too long i reconnected with a long time friend and we were chatting and one thing led to another we are now lovers but I can't seem to be at peace and give him Love because I just feel like I am cheating on my ex
My own is I will call from morning till night he will not pick his call and sometime he will just switched off his phone and I will give him space for some days and called him again this time he will picked his call, I will now tell him I called 2 days ago, he will just answered me with I saw your call but I don't feel like picking it and the next thing he will just put the phone beside MP3 speaker. Chaeiii I suffer....
DeleteWow Beejay, your ex was evil, Jesus!
DeleteTiana dear, I am having the last smile right now, he has been sending messages to me on Whatsapp and messenger with no reply from me, he even send his friend to talk me, I no gree oooo, I can't leave this my current guy for him (the guy is 100 times better than him in so many ways)....
Delete@beejah if what you explained up there is true, never in your life pick his call again, kai..your explanation enter my bone, that boy is a kid and evil.
DeleteWhy are women so needy??
ReplyDeletePerxian, I agree with you, poster, don't jump out of one and immediately jump into another. Get busy with yourself, build yourself with positive things. Read, research, work, develop a business, don't sit around waiting for a guys call. Time is money
ReplyDeleteBreak up with Guy 1 ASAP. Tell him you are done and this is 2021, no time for an inconsistent mixed feelings giver. For Guy 2, tell him you want to start with friendship and see how it evolves. If he cannot wit, then let him go. Make sure you are as open and friendly with him while watching him closely because obviously he wants more (relationship or even marriage) So no time to leave any stone unturned watch him closet but with an open mind okay? You will be alright
ReplyDeleteI wonder how babes still hope on a good for nothing guy. I mean he ghosted you and you still think he is in love with you and there is a relationship .. so laughable
ReplyDeleteMy friend you better have fun with this new guy, have fun ,take your mind off that idiot, better have an open mind and live happily
I want to commend you for not jumping into a new relationship when you're not sure where you stand in your current one.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, if your guy has been ghosting you for more than a month, I'm sorry but I don't think he considers himself your guy anymore. Send him a message ending the relationship and why you are doing so.
On the new guy, I'm honestly not comfortable with his reaction to your rejection. It's never a good sign. Please stay away from him.
Work on yourself before getting into a new relationship
Did you just say you're waiting for a guy that ghosted you to come and explain to you where you stand in that so called relationship? I love my self so and I'm too damn proud to let a man dump me. I'd have noticed his changed attitude,I'll be kind enough to find out what the issue is and if he's not forth coming, I'll dump his sorry ass
ReplyDeleteYour so called guy that ghosted you is done with you,he wants to keep you standstill why thinking hes still dating you,do not wait till you see proposal videos and pictures of him and another girl flying the internet before your eyes clear.Start seeing more of the good things in this man.It's not easy getting over a breakup ooo,you won't even think of any man for the next few months.Start showing interest in some other guy before your heart gets shattered.
ReplyDeleteThe new guy's reaction is not a good sign.
ReplyDeleteAnon you are so right... people who rush in are usually fickle... they rush in and rush out...
Deleteit's possible he senses that she has been hurt before so he is capitalizing on that to manipulate her into a fast relationship. his reactions make me doubt if his intentions are good. if he likes her for real he will be more patient and understanding. for all we know he may be pulling all this fast love bombing to get the cookie
DeleteWhy is he giving you attitude because you said No?
ReplyDeletePls,watch well o
It's not bad being single for a while because that first guy is now your EX.
You know Valentine is around the corner and for most babes, having a guy by their side is validating.
DeleteWhat a confusion, not even spider web.
ReplyDeleteMake the new guy your friend...and gradually start getting over the other guy so you don't get a shocker
ReplyDeleteDear poster, you are single (as in no relationship, Nada!)... This new guy that is already giving attitude after the first date, hian!!! He doesn't take no for an answer?
ReplyDeletePoster you shouldn't date the new guy as his attitude is not encouraging at all. Why will a lady say nope give me some time and yiu start giving her attitude that means you want to browse her website and move.
ReplyDeleteFor guy 1 you should stop loving him, give other guys time to know you better.
Guy 1- good riddance to bad rubbish. Guy 2- too childish. I personally don't like a man that try to rush a woman into a relationship and then starts giving her bad attitude when she says no. People can sometimes start as friends before going into a relationship and any man that really wants you should be patient enough to be Yr friend first. So be careful of guy 2.He may not have anything good to offer you.
ReplyDeletea woman needs to place premium value on herself. guy one has been ghosting you so let him go. it is a sign he does not value you and cant care less. as for guy 2 dont let him rush you. just be friends and go with the flow. close your legs with him for now if not e go see you finish. imagine giving a girl attitude when toasting her. any guy who is not patient enough to build friendship and wants to hurry you get wahala. lastly if both are making you think too much abeg let them both go. there are still other men in this world oh..lol
ReplyDelete