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EMOTIONAL SUPPORT NEEDED.



Good day Stella

I need emotional support , I just came out or maybe still in an emotional abusive relationship and it’s taking it’s toll on my mental health. I’m a lady in my early thirties and I grew up in a very strict home hence, no freedom to socialize, also due to the nature of my job I hardly meet people of the opposite sex , I managed to date a guy who later impregnated another lady and his parents insisted he had to marry the lady, since then I’ve been single until sometimes ago I was introduced to a man of about the same age with me by a woman whom I know. 

According to her the man is having issues with relationships that ladies just leave him without reason. I asked if she thinks there are things he did wrong she said she has no idea except I get close to him and study him.


We live states away from each other so we started by communicating on phone for months, he appeared calm and nice on the phone,supportive and caring,what I found Interesting in him are he’s caring, supportive and he also mentioned he had stayed two years without touching a woman and that he can stay six months without touching a woman, I felt he will make a faithful husband that even if I travel my mind will be at rest until I received the shock of my life, I’ve heard people pretend but this is the first time I’m experiencing it firsthand. 

I got leave at work and I traveled to meet him to spend some time and also study him, the day I got to his place before I even undress this guy had his way with me I couldn’t even shout, I don’t know if I should call it rape, I was surprised I wasn’t expecting him to touch me anytime soon due to his attitude towards sex on phone, the second day I got to his place this guy pointed out my chores to me before heading to work, I had to do laundry, clean the whole house a three bedroom flat and cook, this is someone who told me on phone that he doesn’t stress any lady he’s dating that he doesn’t even allow them to clean or wash and he would’ve made breakfast and bring it to them in bed before they wake up it was all lies!.



Three things I surprisingly found out about him are : firstly he’s always angry, I mean there’s a difference when someone is angry because you got them angry but in his own case he’s always angry 24/7 like literally angry about everything, he’s always screaming and yelling and shouting whenever talking to me that people in other houses must be hearing, not like we are fighting or arguing but he’s always angry His look , his countenance, everything, I mean if I ask him dear, what will you like me to make for dinner he will start screaming that is it night already?

 I’m always shocked, I’m always afraid to talk to him , to even greet him sometimes I think twice, I can’t talk to him, I dare not ask him any questions, I mean I must always keep mum in the house, I can’t play with him, I must keep a straight face when watching the television , if we are watching the tv and I get up maybe to drink water or something he will shout at me to comeback and sit down , I mean I can’t even breathe in the house, if I cook he will say the salt is not enough which is not true cause I’m a good cook, if I greet him in the morning he will say I didn’t greet him well, sometimes I greet him up to four times before he answers, he is a terror!. 

He’s so controlling that he will tell me what to wear, when he’s going to work he will lock me in the house and leave with the key I mean I can’t even take a stroll I’m always indoor, he even told me once he marry me no family is allowed to visit me not even my siblings or mother, and I can’t visit them either and I have to reduce the monthly allowance I give to them.



Secondly he’s a CHRONIC WOMANIZER AND A SEX ADDICT, as oppose to how he presented himself over the phone, I found out this guy is a chronic womanizer I mean he sleeps with anything that has a vagina, both young and old, the most shocking ones are including married women I mean he also sleeps with women in their husbands house, including teenagers this guy sleeps with girls as young as 13yrs old, I found out after checking his phone because his behaviors are strange to me so I had to go through his phone maybe I will find out things, infact there’s this 15yrs old girl he introduced to me as his boss daughter who I even did shopping for when coming , he’s also sleeping with the girl , someone who told me he hasn’t touched a woman in two years sleeps with different women everyday and every weekend he must invite a lady from outside his state to visit him , he even slept with a girl a day before I came, I was shocked, he’s so much addicted to sex, to the extent that his hand is always in his boxers fondling his penis and scrotum watching porn! Surprising right? 

As a Christian he claimed to be! very disgusting habit, I don’t even want to talk about how he snores heavily and Loudly that I always end up with migraine and stand up to sleep in the sitting room.


He started pressuring me to get pregnant that he needs a child badly and he’s not getting younger, I told him I’m not having a child out of wedlock,he introduced me to his people cause they are in the same state with him, but all along my mind wasn’t there cause I knew he just couldn’t be the ONE.


The third thing I found out about this guy is that he’s a CHRONIC AND PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, I wouldn’t want to go into details but this guy tells lies that makes me question my sanity, it’s so bad that even after he just finished saying something he will deny ever saying it, I’m not even talking about something he said long ago i mean something he just finished saying when he hasn’t even left the same spot he will deny ever saying it and even swear with his life and destiny that he never said so which he actually did, in fact he once swear on his grave , he swear on the grave they will bury him that he never said something he just finished saying that was the day I became afraid of this guy , I wasn’t the one asking him to swear cause I hate swearing he’s the one who likes to swear ,this has affected me to the extent that when I talk now I repeat words twice just to be sure the person I’m talking to heard me right, I repeat words , I repeat sentences that people are beginning to ask me if I’m okay.



During the leave I spent with him, i confronted him over his womanizing ways and he got angry , he kept malice with me and didn’t talk to me for four days, if I sit near him he will stand up to sit elsewhere, if I touch his shoulder he will fling my hand away, the last straw that broke the camels back was when several times I caught him looking at me in a hateful and disgusting manner and when I want to look at his side he will quickly smile, I became afraid of my life, I had no one to report to cause he has said many bad things about me to the woman who introduced us to each other so the woman no longer talk to me, and then he told me afterall now you have no one to report me to again, he heaped heavy lies on my head, I left his house one day and checked into an hotel so that I can leave from there, when he came into the room and saw me packing he got angry and wanted to attack me, I had to run out of the house with towel on, as I was running I was shouting the towel had dropped from my body and people in neighboring houses came out he started shouting that they should hold me that I just ran mad and that’s why I ran out naked which wasn’t true..

 I didn’t run out naked I just didn’t know the towel had fall off, I tried explaining to the people that he wanted to attack me that’s why I ran out naked but no one believed me, I mean who would believe a naked lady on the street, it was a woman who covered me with wrapper, I begged some neighbors to enter the house with me so I could carry my load and I left for the hotel , he came to the hotel and started begging me, crying that he’s sorry and I should come back to the house, I went back but he was still the same , my leave was almost over so I knew I’ll be going back soon and that will be the end, to my utmost surprise the day I was leaving at the park this guy bursted into tears in front of the people he was crying profusely like a little child whose mother is traveling,and everyone was talking about how much he’s in love with me, I just smiled thinking in my mind ONLY IF THEY KNOW.



Ever since I’ve left he’s been all lovey-dovey posting my picture everyday, something he never did while I was with him, calling me 24/7 to check on me, infact he’s now resumed to how he was before I traveled down to meet him, he now talks calmly and like a Christian over the phone lols....By the time I got back to my base after a month, everyone was asking if I’m sick, I had become so lean, drained (physically,psychologically and financially), my skin color has faded with pimples all over my face, I had become a shadow of myself, he made me leave some clothes in his house as an assurance that I will be back, I left those I can forfeit, he’s planning how to go pay my bride price this year lols....he’s still calling me 24/7 , his mother too wont let me rest, she’s a nice woman though, at first I thought maybe the behaviors are as a result of what he suffered while growing up , he suffered NEGLECT, both his parents separated and got married to someone else so he lived in the house of one relation to another , so he was neglected and really suffered, I’m a very understandable person and I pity him but is that why he’s also a chronic liar and womanizer? Controlling?.


I’m emotionally drained and tired ! .

*You are always shocked like Bubu!!!

You went to see a man and he raped you on the first day and you stayed for month and encouraged abuse on yourself?If you dont love and respect yourself,no one else will

Please walk out of that situationship and move on already.....I am so pissed with you but minding the words i use cos you are already emotionally down.

Move and get some emotional balance before you venture into another relationship...