Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, January 08, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm......










NARRATIVE ONE

SERIOUS ISSUE


Bvs please i need your advice on something important. 


My wedding is in 3month but my dad insisted my mom will not be there. My mom and dad separated 17 yrs ago, my mom left us with my dad, she remarried and moved on ( though she is single and lives alone now)but my dad dedicated his life to take care of us and never remarried till now.


 I don't really have any issue with keeping to my dad's decision but i am worried about the future with my in-laws to be, they are a complete family that cherish family togetherness, infact i let them believe my parents are cordial although, they knew my parents are separated. 


I am cordial with my mom, forgiven her for leaving us even though she doesn't deserve it, i have been begging my dad to just let her seat on my wedding day. 


My fiance's family will travel from far and near for this wedding, how will it look if my mom is not there, won't they insult me with it in future? Is my dad selfish for not thinking about the future effect of his decision?


 Intact he said if i insist my mom should be there, he will disown me. Bvs please help me, i should be happy i am getting married but i feel sad as the day gets closer. My fiance lives abroad but he communicates with both parents and my in-laws to be also communicate with my mom.cause i didn't really let.the family know what is happening. 


Have you been in this situation before, what did you do, i actually thinking of just going to court instead of a big wedding that will expose the rift between my parents, even though i desire and planned for a big wedding but i am willing to let it go if my dad insist my mom shouldn't be there..




Oh dear,this is a tough one!!!....
Your dad says if your mum attends your wedding,he will disown you?Disown you how?will he still attend the wedding before disowning you?Ah,sometimes it is not easy at all...I don't know what to say!

If having a small wedding is how you will escape this,please settle for that
I think since your in laws already have your mother's contact,they,they will call her to find out why,if she does not attend..
lets read comments,someone might have a solution!





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NARRATIVE TWO
UNWANTED PREGNANCY


Pls Bvs I need an advice ooo::::


 I found out I'm preggy yesterday after I conduct blood test and have been having mood swing since then (God forgive me if I'm been ungrateful, you know from the deepest of my heart I am grateful, but I'm afraid of poverty) . 


My bottom line is that I'm not ready for another child since I have 2 kids (6/4) respectively. My plan is to apply for apprenticeship tailoring this year weekend, my boss have once told me if I got pregnant he's going to sack me (salary earner). 

Have discussed with hubby and he also suggest we remove it since my boss will sack me once if finds out. (NB) He's an Indian man, not married nor have kids and he is in early 50's. I don't want to suffer any of my children. Please advise me on what to do. No insult pls.




You and your hubby agreed to abort?Madam you shock me!!
Why are you guys not practising safe s#x?Please keep the baby for crying out loud!!!

110 comments:

  1. Keep d baby, get sacked n go hustle, your husband will support afterall he is not jobless..

    Abort, keep ur job, when u buoyant, u break bed and carry another one..

    Your choice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madame koinkoin A.K.A "PeaceMaker "8 January 2021 at 15:51

      Today story na real wa! Poster 2 e go shock you say the man has family in his home land. You carry head like basket dey look for throble with your hand, you and your husband no fear God.

      Delete
    2. Poster 1:
      Let's not get it twisted; remaining single after a divorce is NOT A VIRTUE! If remaining alone will leave u bitter, please don't. Life is way too short to hold on to pains and grudge. That is what has left your dad bitter that he refuse to let go and give a day for his daughters happiness. Poster, go for a small ceremony if you are unable to convince your dad.

      Poster 2 already knows what she wants to do. Na she and her husband wear the shoes and knows where exactly it pinches them. Don't drag us into it.

      Delete
    3. Please madam, I'll adopt the baby and love it. I need a child like i need air.

      Delete
    4. I don’t think it’s right for your father to deprive you and your mother her presence on your wedding day. Maybe you’ll continue begging him and ask people to beg him. It’s just not right. He may think he’s getting back at your mum but he’s also punishing you for something that’s not your fault. Infact he’s borderline wicked for doing this.

      If it happens that your mum doesn’t attend finally, don’t worry about what your in-laws will think of you. Be honest about the situation with your fiancΓ©, if he’s supportive he’ll know how to pass the message to his family if need be.

      Chin up and be happy πŸ€—

      Delete
    5. Poster 2... I don't know either our advise/s will change your mind.

      1... Don't give your dad HBp. Try and explain things to your mum. There are some people their mothers didnt attend their weddings and everything went fine. She will DO OMUGO, USE IT TO COMPENSATE HER just to avoid issues that you won't solve. May be you can invite her to spray you money, hug her tight that way your dad won't do anything. Good luck

      Delete
    6. Alternative Facts9 January 2021 at 09:57

      Poster you should have been forthright with your to-be in-laws from the beginning. Not all families are cordial but you have a false impression.
      Your mum abandoned the family and your dad had to do it all alone. I think you should respect your Father’s wishes. Your mum doesn’t have to be there.
      What if he abandoned you guys after your mum left. Please respect his wishes and explain to your in-laws.

      Delete
  2. @Narrator 1
    Wedding is just a single day. Cease from concentrating attention of "wedding day" and shift it to a "joyfully married life"
    When you go to your husband's house, you can relate with your mom the way you want. But now, you are in your dad's house and he is the one to receive your bride price; that is how God made it.
    So let your mom understand that your dad's stance is not yours. And that after the event, your relationship will thrive. 😘😘😘😘

    ReplyDelete
  3. Poster2, from the depth of my heart, I advise you not to remove that baby. If you cant work with the indian, another door would open. Just put it to God in prayers. After delivery of this baby, pls go for correct family planning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nonsense advice, in this Era that there is no job? Poster a bird at hand is worth more than thousands in the bush.

      Delete
    2. Another job with 3 children? After wasting two years?, that is during pregnancy and at least one year of nursing the baby?, do you know the worst thing that can happen to a woman?, it's being pregnant and broke, it can throw one into the worst depression and complete lost of self worth and esteem, I'm talking from experience, poster it's like you have not learned your lesson, be there asking foolish questions, another worst feeling is being buoyant and suddenly not having money again, you will never be happy, you will be aggressive, being annoyed at slightest provocation, your husband will turn situation on you at the end, you will lose peace in your home, is that what you want?. I'm done abeg, smh and walking out of post.

      Delete
  4. 2nd Narrator:
    You and your husband did not agree to "remove it," you agreed to KILL HIM.
    Repent of this evil intention of yours
    or count God out of your struggles and
    eternal life. He is merciful and forgives but he will chastise you if you ever go ahead. Don't kill that child πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ™„ Jesus’s secretary. God will provide bandwagon.
      It’s your money that they will use in training this child abi? You will do monthly giveaway for her family?

      Delete
    2. I'm telling you, poverty mentality and the poster is saying she is afraid of poverty, I doubt that.

      Delete
    3. @Reasonable doubt
      Your comment is the most UNreasonable thing I ever read!
      What!
      How about preventing the formation of life if you don't have the resources to raise a child
      instead of resorting to murder?

      Delete
    4. She is talking solution not aportioning blame.

      Delete
    5. @19:12
      Solution is to raise her child. Who does she want to give her the license to murder her child?

      Delete
  5. Lose your job and keep your child woman. You can still be sacked after you kill that child. But you will not regret keeping that child. You might have as well raised your sword on the one that will bring you out of poverty. πŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘Ά

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ur mum left u and ur siblings and re married ... ur dad dis not remarry but took care of u till u r all grown .... young lady pls respect ur dad a wish . U can’t imagine what he went tru to take care of young kids till adulthood and not Re marry !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The man sounds pained and even the people poster acknowledged that the mother doesn't deserve forgiveness but she still forgave her.
      Please respect your father's wishes. He went through a lot to raise you guys

      Delete
    2. Thank you. Respect your dad and ban that woman from your wedding.

      Delete
    3. If tables were turned and it was the father who left, we would expect the man to still attend and collect father rights because he is still her father.

      Same way, she is still her mother....irrespective of what transpired between the parents.

      Delete
  7. Hmm Poster 1: Please do you have people or someone that your dad and mum respects a lot! I believe you can try that option! They don't need to pretend to be together but they should act cordial at least to your potential in-laws. He may have a grudge with your mom but he should not put you into it!! I pray God gives you wisdom and congratulations on your marriage!

    Hmm Poster 2: Please make a decision because you are comfortable with it not because of another human being! I am angry that these Indians will come here and dictate someone's life..What effrontery!! Please think very well oh, don't abort that baby!! God can always make a way for you; don't sound defeated..Just pray and ask God to help you and I expected your husband to fight for you sef! All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Poster 1. Since your mum was really not there, I suggest you meet her and have a face to face with her why she can't come. If you handle it well she should understand because her focus right now should be how to right her wrongs. Make a plan with her not to expose the main reason she can't be there. Tell her there are more ceremonies she can attend example omugwu but she should allow your dad have this one.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Stella keep what baby?, poster no 2 don't listen to Stella's advice because she won't be there with you when you will be suffering, since the two of you have agreed on aborting the baby, then by all means abort it but make sure you use a legit Dr not quack.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poster 1 I can imagine what you are going through. Can your mum come and beg your dad. I want you to know that your dad is very correct on his position. If there's someone your dad listens to... You can also go through the person.
    Have you told your dad about your fears about the future with your in-laws. Don't worry everything will out well.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pls abort the child shey na garri you go put inside feeding bottle for am..

    ReplyDelete
  12. Why do parents always wait for their children's wedding to settle scores? What your mother did wasn't cool but then he should forget the past. I had the same issue with my parents, not exactly like yours though. My parents separated even before I was born. My Dad made me cry alot during the wedding preparation ehnnnn. Story for another day! Thank God hubby isn't the big wedding type. Las las we had a small court wedding. Till today my dowry hasn't been paid. Hubby & i are 9 years and still counting. We have our usual challenges as any normal couple but we are happy. I pray God blesses my womb with fruit of the year this year though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The foundation of ur marriage 8s bad and need correction. If u are still TTC, maybe it's the dowry settlement that will open that closed door. Do not underestimate dowry in marriage. Court marriage is just paper in most cases. Marriage without dowry is not biblical nor traditional. Don't give urself too much stress, just go finish the dowry payment process and u shall be blessed fully in all ways. Thanks

      Delete
    2. Madame koinkoin A.K.A "PeaceMaker "8 January 2021 at 15:53

      Amen . God Almighty is awake. He has answered your prayers

      Delete
    3. @ Big man, it's called bride price not dowry. Bride price not dowry. Repeat after me slowly, bride price.

      Delete
    4. Big Man, so oyinbo people that are ttcing it's because of dowry abi??? I don't know what ttcing has to do with dowry. Does lack of dowry prevent bad sperm? Does it close womb? Madam, God will open your womb for this nonsense comment alone and put your detractors to shame.

      Delete
    5. Let him go and pay your bride price, and your womb will be opened.

      Delete
  13. @poster two 😲😲😲😲😲😲 wtf, never abort that baby..

    @poster one hmmmmmmmm

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your father has no right to prevent you from inviting your mum. You are an adult and can reach out to or stay away from anyone as you choose. He may be rightfully angry but he can’t go on an ego trip with your happiness.
    Yes, it seems wicked/ungrateful not granting him this request, but know that this sets precedence for other things in future, as you will have shown you can bend to emotional blackmail. Don’t do it! Firmly but respectfully tell him you need both your parents with you on your day and he should respect that. Disowning you is just childish talk and for all the years he has invested in nurturing you, he should be ashamed for making that statement.
    Poster 2, you know the way to abort, but cannot practice safe sex, well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really?! Her father that gave her a life has no right?! Do you know what difference it would have made if he remarried or sent them following their mum?! The mum needs to do the needful and go and sincerely apologise to the dad. She should even lie that she accepts the punishment if that's what it takes but beg the man to forgive her. After forgiveness, other family members should now strategize how to o make the dad allow her attend.

      Delete
    2. Honestly thank you as per poster 1: why emotional blackmail her

      Delete
    3. Are you kidding me, the father that knew what he went through for them to survive has no right to make decisions of what will happen. Anyway talk is cheap.

      Delete
    4. Thank you mystic, how annoying! What is she 10 years old little girl? He has no right at all not to let his ex wife attend their daughter's wedding, inukwa!

      Poster 2 what ever decision you and your husband come up with is fine, if you guys decide to keep the child or have an abortion is totally up to you guys.

      Delete
    5. @Mystic, I bet you won't be in her wedding. Do you know that some men can even hire security agents just to prevent anyone they dont want to attend their kids' wedding without the couple knowing abt it?
      You see eh, my cousins, their dad didnt allow their mum, but today, she goes to UK/USA to do omugwo. And the man can't do a thing.
      Atimes it's better to allow a sleeping dog to continue sleeping.

      Delete
  15. A friend of mine faced a similar situation. She aborted the pregnancy. Some years later, she lost one of her two children. She has just one child now and has not been able to conceive. I just thought to share this story. You may choose to abort this one and still go ahead to have plenty of babies in the future. Life is that complicated. However, please don't abort this pregnancy. Go ahead and have this child because I know that is the right thing to do and no good deed will go unrewarded. You will be rewarded. You will get by. It might be difficult but you and your husband will survive it and come out better people.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster 2 remove the pregnancy and watch your boss sack you. E go shock you. You think God that put the child there has not set out plans to care for the child? Poster 1 it is well o. Left to me, your mother should call your father and apologize to him and then make amends before the wedding. Even if they don’t get back, she should sincerely ask your dad for forgiveness.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster one, i understand your Father's pain. Look for someone he respects and beg his or her to plead on your mother's behalf but if he insists on not having your mother, then so be it after all your mother didn't remember a day like this will come before leaving you people for your father to nurture and cared for all this years. Best wishes to you. Poster two, pplease do not terminate that pregnancy. We understand the harsh economic situation,but your Indian boss can still sack at anytime pregnancy or not.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster 1, let your mom also come and beg your dad.
    Poster 2, practice safe sex from now on, change your job and keep that baby.the baby is God sent, trust me.i have heard so many stories about unwanted babies that the mothers are thankful that they kept because of the breakthrough the children brought for the family.

    ReplyDelete
  19. To the first poster planning to have her wedding, please follow your Father's instruction. After your marriage, schedule to visit your mum with your husband... My own opinion though.

    The second poster that's contemplating of abortion "Are you for real" God that made you pregnant at a time like this knows what He's doing... Please allow the baby live.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God did not make her pregnant. It’s basic biology, she got pregnant because she wasn’t preventing it.

      Delete
    2. Young lady respect your Father's wish and don't complicate things for him. Your mother abandoned you and your siblings, remarried and moved on. Your dad stood by you all and mortgaged his life for you and your siblings. You chose to forgive your irresponsible mother not your dad. Behave yourself please. He doesn't have to disown you, stop trying to make him do what will cause him pains. You are the self centered person. You are just too myopic

      Delete
    3. Alternative Facts9 January 2021 at 10:05

      Exactly. She should concentrate on her wedding and leave her mum out of it completely. Accept that your family isn’t like your in-laws’.

      Delete
  20. Poster 1.
    Congrats on your upcoming wedding. Your dad is still very hurt, I feel his pain. Sincerely, I don't know her reasons, but a mother that could walk away from her kids should also expect so much. However, I think you should talk to his close friends or whoever you feel he respects, maybe they can talk to him. The relationship he shares with your mum is different from the relationship you have with your mum. He should let go of the hurt and allow her into her children's space if they are willing to accept her.
    Relax, no family is perfect, I'm sure your in-laws have issues you are not aware of. Whether you like it or not, until your dad has a change of mind, they will notice the drift between them. It's none of their business. Enjoy your wedding and marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madame koinkoin A.K.A "PeaceMaker "8 January 2021 at 15:59

      exactly the man is still hurt . Na only him knows the whole truth. Poster 1 please dont live your live like the zeeworld people, they live for the community, what they think and what they say, Please kindly do you. Your union should not be copy and paste you and your husband ll work for a peaceful and enjoyable home.

      Delete
  21. Poster 1 Take it to God in prayer, there is nothing he can not do. There must be someone your dad respects so much and can talk sense into him. Pray and get those people/ person to talk to him.

    Poster 2 It is well with you. Please whatever you do, do not commit murder. Allow that child come into the world and fulfill God's purpose. Practice safe sex or go for family planning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I'm poster 1, I wont even be inviting my mother. She will de her de.

      Delete
  22. I finished having my four children and went to do family planing.After four years the coil gave way.i became pregnant and I kept the pregnancy,I was s sad but today I thank God for the child because I went from average to the top.at three months old I and my husband and rest of my children won american lottery.

    ReplyDelete
  23. @No 2
    Are you sure your husband is responsible for that pregnancy?
    The Lord hates "feet that are quick to rush into evil and hands that shed innocent blood"
    Proverbs 6:16-17

    ReplyDelete
  24. @First Poster,

    Tell your mother she can’t attend, and that she should feign illness if asked by your in-laws simple! It’s not a hard situation, people should learn to stop rewarding irresponsible parents. If she has any remorse for her actions she should be able to sacrifice for your happiness that day.

    @Second poster,

    Abort the child if you aren’t ready for one now. Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into keeping it.

    Your body your choice, you alone know the financial situation of your family. A medical abortion is nothing to be ashamed of, you have been careless enough already don’t be more irresponsible to bring in another child and then start running around looking for financial aid. Children are a precious gift that should be properly planned for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless for this comment for poster 2, GOD BLESS YOU

      Delete
    2. What an advise.. she should abort her baby..a mother advising another to kill her child..hmmm.i come in peace o.

      Delete
    3. Because I’m a mother I understand the pain of watching a child suffer through no fault of theirs.

      I repeat again that people that give birth irresponsibly should be jailed for a crime, children are not jewelry that you collect, they are an ongoing expense. Do not have one if you’re not ready.
      That’s why lots of you end up hustling for giveaway citing “My children haven’t eaten” as if you should be rewarded for having kids.

      Do the responsible thing and abort now that the baby is barely formed. Life is not a nollywood movie, that the baby will grow up and become president, or your husband will suddenly win a one million dollar contract because you kept the child.
      If you want more kids later when you can afford one, then try then.

      Delete
    4. "people should learn to stop rewarding irresponsible parents." Gbam!!! My mother was irresponsible, therefore they will be no reward for her. C'est fini.!!

      Delete
    5. Poster 1- please listen to your dad,do you know what it takes for a MAN to singlehandedly take care of his children without getting remarried? For your mom to leave her children behind and remarry? Thats a slap on motherhood, even if she had a problem with your dad why leave without her children?
      Your dad is well within his rights, you have to honor his wishes and allow your mom dey her dey,because it was a deying things when she left her children to go and enjoy another marriage that didn't even last. Shior.

      Delete
  25. My mum equally didn't attend my wedding recently. My parents are separated too.for no reason she just didn't attend, all pleas fell on deaf ears.after my wedding people started to attack her for not attending, she started to spread lies that we told her not to come,that we said she doesn't fit into the class of people that should come for the wedding.... can you people imagine this kind of talk? People started to call me saying all sorts.i just weak....the blame quickly shifted from her to me.terrible situation to be in.like you too my inlaw are close knit,I cant get over the shame of my mum not coming for wedding,I just do cover ups.abeg story long jor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your mom sounds like my mom. Very ignorant and uncouth.

      Delete
    2. Una get time to be telling and listening to tales. Despite her lies has she comot you from husband house? Una get time

      Delete
    3. Did it affect the quality of your marriage? Forgive her and move on. Weddings sometimes end up with quarrels and even dull on fights. Maybe her presence would have been a greater embarrassment than her absence.

      Delete
  26. Poster 1
    Next time be truthful and say it as it is, even in marriage dont paint anything thats not real.
    First tell your fiance, he in turn can talk to your dad, or since your in-laws communicate with your mum, they should be in the know of your dads decision, don't take the heat alone, it will eat you up so bad, involve everyone, your fiance is in a better position, if he really wants to marry you no matter the hurdle he will.
    Is your mum even aware of your dads decision?? I doubt.

    No kill your self o, speak out.


    Poster 2

    No be oil and gas work, no be better federal job, CHINKO job naim you de contemplate to abort, I sorry for Una o.


    Are you the bread winner?
    Cos thats how I'm feeling, you and your hubby can't be working and you'll be making this decision.


    Keep the baby biko.
    Try and be careful next time, you and hubby I mean.

    Singles go abort, married woman with just 2 kids wan abort because of chinko job*smh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1000 likes for this comment


      *ayaoba*

      Delete
    2. Truly she sounds like the major financier of her home, what if you die nkor, yur husband dt is supporting you now will move on, think am well, Nigeria is hard already, but don't add ds one to it.✌️

      Delete
  27. Your story is like mine, maybe even worse cos when my mom left,my sister was barely a few months old and she still left here and said if she wants to die she should(I can never forget those words cos my sister was sick for 8 years and had to stay in the village for a long time which eventually put a strain in my relationship with my sister as I was kinda raised like an only child.My dad probably hates my mom than yours does but on my sisters wedding,he allowed her to come and perform her duties because of his daughter and that was itThey resumed their hostilities afterwards.Your dad needs to allow her come to your wedding because of you if he truly cherishes your happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What if that baby comes with plenty blessings

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster 1, this same thing happened with my dad's friend and today he is no more. But in his case he remarried after the wife left d kids at a young age, and the new wife was d mother figure to this kids. Fast forward to the daughter's wedding,d dad swore dt the real mother was not going to be at d wedding after, even the daughter accepted cos she had no option and felt d dad's anger was justified. Three weeks after the wedding the man had serious cough and died,all fingers were pointing at the ex-wife, this happened live not naija movie oo. So just know dt a woman dt had the boldness to walk away from her kids at a young age, can easily finish off the other parent just so he can't benefit from the children knowing she is not going to benefit much either. Be wise,let your Dad know it's just a day occasion else he might have bigger issues

    ReplyDelete
  30. Why are you contemplating it. A mum that left you guys since, I will personally won't want her in the wedding. Let her stay away. You don't have to answer any question from your in-laws. If they don't see her, no one will ask since they know about the separation.

    ReplyDelete
  31. My parent seperated when i was born. for 30 years so so fight and bickering. Time to marrymum said lie lie she cannot come if the wedding is to be done in my fathers house... anywho with prayers and a lot of prayers, we got married. They danced out together and sat together. when i saw them i cried. next day the fight continued! so poster i wish you the best. just pray and let those they respect speak to them

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster 1, the truth shall set you free. Pretending always catches up with us. There is nothing to be ashamed of with your upbringing. You had a devoted and loving father that is a blessing. Why will you cause division in your family to put on a show? Your mother not being present at your wedding is not going to create a void, she has not been present for anything in your life so why are you making this a big deal? Stop trying to pretend and paint a fake picture to impress others. Keep peace between you and your father, who has been your rock before you met this man. God forbid anything should go wrong with your marriage it's your father that will be there with open arms, and he would not let these ppl do you any harm. Do not trample on your relationship with your father to impress ppl who were not there to do shit for you.

    Poster 2. What do you deep down want to do? If this Indian man was not in the picture what would you do? The mere fact that you are seeking answers mean you are not at peace with your choice. I cannot tell you what to do, but the answer is in you, you know what you truly want to do.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poster One I feel your Daddy’s pain. It’s not easy for a Man to stay unmarried after divorce dedicating his whole life to taking care of Children. Please look for people that he respects and beg them to help you appeal to him. Your in laws and even your Husband will surely use it to insult you later.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Poster 1 I'm with ur dad on this..I've this dislije abi hatred for any woman that decides to leave her children to go and remarry abi cos of my experience but I don't have any respect for such woman.Ur children should be by ur side no matter what except in a case where the woman tried but didn't succeed.

    Poster 2 pls don't abort that baby,he/she might be the key to unlock blessings in ur home.Is not easy but God knows the best and decided to bless u with a baby at this time.so count it all Joy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But no hatred for the men that leave abi ?

      Delete
  35. Poster 1.
    Forget about how your inlaws will see you or insult you. It won't come to that. Except you are praying for that in your marriage.
    As for your father. Its time he better get this bitterness out of his life else it will kill him.
    He needs to forgive and move on,its not like your mom has a plan to return to him.
    He needs to forget it and let you have a peaceful marriage ceremony.
    If he refuses let him be. And enjoy your wedding without your mom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. There are some bitterness you find really hard to let go even when you forgive. Only the man really knows the reason behind his decision. I wish the poster luck.

      Delete
    3. Poster 1, explain to your mummy your dad's decision, I pray she understands. Respect your dad's decision, he alone knew what he went through, it's never an easy ride taking care of your children alone without the assistance of the other partner. Meanwhile it's just a day wedding make sure you enjoy it.

      Delete
  36. Poster 1: It's really pathetic the way one parent would deny another parent the joy of attending the child's wedding just to settle a score. If the woman had fulfillment in the marriage, would she have left him and the children? The mother wronged the kids by leaving them and wronged herself by missing out on the growing up years of the kids.
    If the kids decide to forgive their mother, fine. It's not the place of the Dad to inherit the hurt and start acting up. What rubbish!

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    Replies
    1. The mum hurt the dad not the kids I believe.

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    2. Anon 16:41......she also wronged the father by forcing upon him the burden (raising the kids) alone; A burden that is normally carried by two.
      He must have made some sacrifices( extra, since the mother was nowhere to be found) to get them (the kids) to where they are now.
      Now she wants to take glory for responsibilities she did not perform.....ofcourse the man will be pissed.
      I think the "mother" should attend because she is the mother. but don't say he is inheriting any hurt. he is hurt by her actions and inactions.....and rightfully so

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  37. Poster one, I share similar story with you. Few hours ago I was thinking of one Nkem Owoh's movie, how he went for his daughter's omugwo. I started laughing. Somehow, mindlessly I said my dad will reprise Osuofia's role. Unfortunately for my dad it won't be my omugwo. My mom left us and our dad. You see that scandal with FCMB, my mom and her boss played that game. She made life unbearable for us. She had lots of guts. After years together, my dad wasn't fit for her anymore. According to Her, a prophet even told her her Indian boss is her true husband. Bitch!! She foolishly left us. Broken and sad. Years later the man left for his country and foolishly my mom still believes he would come back for her. I won't be getting married but I have a sister. All hope for omugwo is not lost for my dad.
    Dear poster, I support your dad. Your mom shouldn't be in your wedding. The way some children refuse to invite their dead beat fathers for their wedding is the same way we should treat unworthy mothers. No emotions abeg. My elder brother is getting married soon. We know where the bitch lives, we see how worn out she looks, but we won't be inviting her. Like my Igbo folks would say; "Isi Kote Ebu."

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    Replies
    1. Don’t project because you don’t know if your situation is the same as hers. You don’t know why posters mum left and as you can see they have made up and her mum is trying to make amends

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    2. But the poster have forgiven her mum and wants her there.

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    3. You don't know why the poster's mom left. The poster was able to forgive her mom. Some women are not able to tolerate unhappiness for a lifetime. The poster has not also told us if her mom made efforts to take them along and the dad refused. The ego of many men will not allow you take their children. I see the poster's father as being very selfish if he cannot allow his daughter's joy to take precedence even for one day!. That is how most divorced couples destroy the psychology of their children by using them as tools/pawns against the other. Very wrong! How can he even threaten her with disowning? Hmmm. I personally know two people who their parents came together for their big day and after that they continued in their different lives. It will not kill them!

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  38. This one most people are against the mother, do u guys know why she left? Tomorrow when a chronicle comes up, you'd see, divorce him, leave him, separate, run, later ya'll will castigated her for leaving when matters like this crop up. One disadvantage of divorce, when d chips are down, the world will be against u.

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    Replies
    1. Go read over what she sent in. The poster said she has forgiven her mother, even cordial with her, even though she doesn't deserve it. She said she doesn't have any problems sticking to her father's request, but her problem is how the in-laws will view her. Her chronicle is not centered on her mother needing forgiveness or having any love for her mother, nor that she even really desires her presence at the wedding from her heart, she just want to offset future issues with her in-laws by having the mother present. The problem is a matter of culture and keeping up appearances.

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    2. They need to join this your comment
      Word

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

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  39. I feel your anger and resentment towards your mum. However, let it go.

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  40. Poster 1 Nigerian men abandon their families all the time but no one would support the woman asking the man not to attend the wedding. Some families won’t even marry you if your father can’t be at your wedding. If roles were reversed people would say things differently. Nigerians are always defending men’s wishes all the time. Abeg he didn’t do anything millions of black single mothers all over the world don’t do, raising children alone without financial support. He doesn’t have to love your mum or even sit near her but she should be allowed to attend

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    Replies
    1. Exactly my thoughts! If it were the other way round, people would say the wedding. Use be held in her fathers house instead and begin to tell cock and bull stories about the spiritual implications of a father not accepting dowry.

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  41. This seems very personal to me... Like my life playing out! Poster, help your dad forgive her. He took care of you but God made his effort bring you to a good place. If you had turned out wrong(God forbid) your dad would have a reason to bear a grudge but your coming out right has vindicated him. He doesn't need to fight. History has been made, the story has been written. He should not spoil the last chapter. It will be like heaping coals of fire on her head... However if dad does not agree, strive to be the mother you never had to your children... God bless your home

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  42. You can 'rent' a mum, dad, relations and crowd cheaply and they can happily wear asoebi on your behalf sef. That one day is important and significant throughout your marital life because reference will be made to it for every single mistake by your in-laws.Please, get someone close to your dad get him to see reason because your happiness is everything and can even bring your parents back together. It seems he wants to use your wedding to hurt your mum which isn't right no matter what.I mean, she is still alive why go to such extreme?

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  43. My dear, why not do it like Chris Oyakhilome's daughter did hers if you can afford it just to let peace reign. After the wedding just arrange a small party or very small wedding reception at your mama's end so she can at least invite her own people too and be happy just a little. Truth I guess is at her age she's already realized her mistakes, plus don't make her go down to her grave in complete sorrow, ehn pls? I didn't have my dad at my wedding because my mum like your dad insisted o, she started story from 1976 when they met etc just to make my hubby see why, he's a polygamist, he abandoned us bla bla bla. I tell you it's a decision I regret up till date. And as for your in laws using it against you in future, it is possible o. So if your dad insists and you see no way out, then do something very little in her house and watch her bask in that euphoria of happiness for life. Ciao.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice alternative option. I love solution focused answers.

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  44. Poster 1 Since your mother was not there and your dad dedicated his life to raising you guys abi? Please let your mom face the consequences of not being there for you guys ok?
    Allow your father have his way. Yes in life we can be forgiven for some wrongs we did but at the same time we face the consequences of our bad choices!!! You said she remarried and MOVED ON!!! No good mother ever moves on from her kids!!!!
    It's not about bitterness, it's about someone coming to reap where she didn't sow ok? What if your dad was also irresponsible in raising you guys? What if you didn't turn out well due to your dad also being irresponsible? Would you have met your current spouse? Your dad has every right to want or not want to share that day with your mom! If he wants fine but if he doesn't you tell your mom to chill. You made a mistake by making your in-laws think that all is well. I PRAY YOUR MOM DOESN'T DISAPPOINT YOU AGAIN after everything!!! Or start instigating you and your siblings against your Dad. Please allow your Dad!!! And follow the rest of Stella instructions. Focus on you and hubby.

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    1. But it is you people that will be quick to tell women to walk out of unhappy marriages. How many men do u think will let women leave with their children. mtcheeew.

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  45. Let us stop enabling negligent parents.
    My biological dad was absent in my life, my mum was always trying to paint him good because he was her first love, they got married but her friend snatched him with juju according to her, I don't believe her story because nobody can be snatched without his consent.
    She took care of me alone, infact she didn't remarry for many years, she was waiting for the juju to stop working, until she noticed she was nearing menopause.
    I didn't allow him to come for my wedding, I explained everything to my husband and he understood me. My step dad sat in his place, my mum begged me but I said no. Nobody should reap from where they didn't sow. My mom's brothers made sure she collected my bride price.
    Poster 1, don't you think your dad deserves full happiness on your wedding day? Please explain to your husband and enjoy your wedding day without her.

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    Replies
    1. I love you! Let's end this menace of rewarding deadbeat parents

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  46. Poster 2
    Please keep the baby write resignation letter to your boss, tell him you are pregnant that's why you are resigning base on what he told you that if you are pregnant he will sack you. That is not your wish to resign and the pregnant is by a mistake.
    Or you talk to him about the pregnancy and if he insist that you should go then you resign.

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  47. Poster 1
    What if your mother on her own come to your wedding without your concept or your dad concept.
    What will you and your dad do.
    See if am your mum I must come to the wedding if I know the date and venue.

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  48. Poster 2, why haven't you done family planning?? I just tire for us oo. You know you don't have the means to feed a child and you are busy having unprotected sex (even in marriage) or not done family planning. Have we been brainwashed it is evil. I don't believe you don't have money for family planning because you have money for abortion. Family planning is also free in govt hospitals.

    I tire to talk, bye bye

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  49. Why didn't you do family planning

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  50. First poster.i was in your shoe last 5 years.mine was reverse.my mum trained from the cradle to this level.i told my mum I don't want to see my dad in my wedding.i went ahead and used my elder brother to rep my dad.nothing dey happen.the tin pained the man but wetin concern me.

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