Tuesday In House News...

 Hailings oh,rain just dey fall yam and beans here...hehehehehhe!!!

IN HOUSE MEMO

Some of you sending me photos for the face of IHN competition,the photos gets blurred when i try to expand...can you process the photo quality before sending?

Can you also make sure you send in a classy photo with a nice background?that's the theme........

Thanks!!

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SWEET GIST FROM BV OJEOMA

FAKE PROPHET/PROPHECIES 

Oya oh, na small gist i bring this kajad moin moin. 

This story is actually inspired by the one shared last week by a bv. 

Back then in the villa, my big bro(bro don't come in here today o biko) who just finished his secondary education decided to venture into the 'native doctor/fake prophet' business, kai how my mum who was the women leader in the church cried, corrected and prayed for him, whosai bro(black sheep of the family) no gree o. 

My bro and his friend went to the bush behind our house to set up a 'fake shrine' with used soap packs, my sis mirrors, spoon, stainless plate, a bell(for calling the spirits), a chair, small piece of clothes etc which my mum scattered many times. 

HOW HE GOT HIS CUSTOMERS 

His bestie(Ayola) will walk into the neighboring villages and start making inquiries about women that are desperately looking for the fruit of the womb(their main targets), he'll go to them and pretend he knows 'someone ' that has the solution to their problem, trust some women na to sharply comply.

 THE RITUALS 

Ayola will come back to tell his friend, my bro all he needs to know about the customer😂. In the night when it's time for the rituals, my bro will dress in his native doctor attire while Ayola will 'hide in the bush'. Bro will start telling customer everything about her and her family, he'll even mention her name and customer will be happy thinking she has come to the last bus top.

 Bro will now tell her he'll consult the 'oracle', and ask her to be strong cos the spirits will come and she'll hear them 

BRO: making incantations, and start calling gods that doesn't exist: professor mmimmi, addi of aaaah🙆, then Ayola who's hiding in the bush will start making car sounds to prove that the spirits are there, bro will start hailing mmimmi and addi of aaah for answering.

 I can still remember bro coming to the house next day with plenty eggs, bag of rice, vegetable oils etc, mum won't let them into her kitchen so he'll pack all in his room and dear sis will be doing the cooking, we the younger ones became loyal to him o so that we can join him and eat like 'the whites'😂😂. Then one day something happened, ewo awoof don run belle so?????





Hahahahahaahhaha @loyal to eat with him...

Please finish the gist oh,i will pick it up and post tomorrow...lol

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INTERESTING STORY ON 'LONGA THROAT'



Sitting close to her in the church, he looked focused on what the preacher was saying.:......Suddenly, Helena’s phone beeped… 

It was a text message. She stretched for her phone beside her to see what it was this time. The number one suspect was MTN and their annoying “messages”. Raising the phone, she must have pressed 'OK' when the phone slipped off her hands onto Tayo’s body.

Immediately, as a nice brother he went to her.

Tayo got hold of the big-screened phone and had a sharp sweeping glance at the message on the phone, he couldn’t believe it. It was a bank alert and the amount was #8,350,503.00. 

Whaaattt?

Considering how fast Tayo gave her back the phone, Helena never suspected he saw it. Even if he saw it, she wouldn’t mind. Believe me. lol..

At the end of the service, Tayo “marked” Helena so closely and managed to start a conversation.

It was swift, he got her number and everything started happening fast.
You don’t meet this opportunity everyday. A babe with 8million in her account? Yesu Kristi!!!

3 weeks later, Tayo shocked Helena with a marriage proposal. Helena was a church sister. She doesn’t believe in dating. She believes that the man that would marry her should come straight up with a proposal.

Tayo has fit into that. “Oh Tayo must be a Godly man” she reasoned… 
He didn’t even ask for her to come visit his house…
Unlike others, he didn’t ask for s#x. Now, he proposed? What a lucky girl Helena believed she was.

Piam… Piam… Piam… Tayo and his people had come for the introduction. Now, they have the list. It was not that expensive. He hustled to raise some cash and piam! They had done the marital rites. What a sharp brother!!!

He did his best to avoid letting Helena know that her money was the main attraction why “everything” was happening, so he never asked
her about it.

After the marriage, that same night, while they were in the room enjoying themselves, Helena’s phone beeped again. Another text message. Helena pressed some buttons and lo, it was the same alert again. This time around,
the amount has risen to 15million naira.

Helena hissed…

Tayo jumped up from the bed wondering why his wife would hiss like that, as he glanced through the phone once again, he didn’t know when he shouted “Woooowwww”.

But Helena needed his help; “Darling, please I’m tired of this text messages that is always putting me in trouble. My aunty that is in Canada opened an account using my phone number. She did it on emergency. But now, I want to inform the bank to remove my phone number from that account before armed robbers would see this alert on my phone and attack me.” 

On hearing this, Tayo froze in shock with his mouth and eyes wide open, as he couldn’t believe what he just heard. He couldn't seem to breathe well again...

“EeeeeeeeehhhhhhH???” Was the only loud scream that he could utter. The wife ask “Baby, is anything the matter?”…

Up till now an answer has not been provided.

However, let's draw some lessons.
LESSONS:
1. All that glitters is not gold. 
2. Check your facts and be sure they are right.
3. Things are not always the way they seem.
4. Appearance may be deceptive.
5. When it comes to relationships, be guided by God and not material things.

#COPIED!!!

Hahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahah GOLD DIGGER; there are some men still marrying women cos of their money oh.

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