STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A VERY STINGY MAN
I need advice people, I am the wife of a very stingy man that earns over a million but our chairs are broken, tv broken, our car is a rickety that was dashed to us. In fact he doesn't buy and maintain or repair anything, he buys food though and pays school fees which is the highest school fees in the state we live in.
I on the other hand work and earn over a hundred thousand, he doesn't give me money for anything so I take care of myself. My work also is a work with prestige and security should be well considered because I work as a judge. I don't have a car yet so he drop and pick me at work when he is less busy, when he isn't I hope Keke, and I have a 10 months old that I go to the place of work with her since I am the boss in my place of work.
Recently I applied and got a loan of 1m and also I did ajo and got a shop and already paid rent, but I am truly in a dilemma, I don't know if I should buy the car with the 1ml+ the ajo money or stock up my shop then when biz set I buy the car.
Bvs what do you advice. Keep in mind that he is a difficult man and doesn't want me to do biz but I don't even listen to that his senseless order, you don't give me you should not expect me not to hustle and buy what I want.
Pls advice me
Please concentrate on business for now.. If you buy the car and he keeps borrowing it from you nko? Make your shop full and save your profit.....
Please concentrate on business for now.. If you buy the car and he keeps borrowing it from you nko? Make your shop full and save your profit.....
I really pity women married to stingy men...
Madam, establish your business first
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
This your story sef, Judge wey dey enter keke, I thought judges are given an official car with a security detail. I don't Gerrit
DeleteWhat type of judge exactly ma? Be specific so you don't make pple think judges earn just over a 100k pls
DeleteJust wondering if she’s a judge in a village
DeleteJudge in a Magistrate Court.
DeleteAnon I just tire. What kind of judge earns such paltry sum?
DeleteNot all states give their judicial workers cars. The southern States fare better than the North. In Plateau state, judges hop keke and okada to work; these are mostly lower court judges.
DeleteEl-wai, lower courts don’t have judges. If it’s a customary/sharia court, the highest position attainable is that of the chairman.
DeleteI think she wanted to say she works WITH a judge, not as a judge. No judge in any state hops keke.
She must be a magistrate court judge.
DeleteMadam stock your job and face your business. Ignore him.
A stingy partner doesn't hide, from dating days, you'd always know.
ReplyDeleteA car is not luxury. It is a tool and will help ease your stress. Save what money? Savings you will enjoy from the grave? You people make me laugh.
DeleteI don't agree with Stella. So what if her husband borrows the car sometimes? What of her 10moth old baby that is exposed to hardship and danger of commuting daily in keke? Ha! Like, I will not cook good food in my house so my husband won't eat from it. What of me? What of my children?
As for the shop madam, the car will afford opportunities to make better money to open the shop, if that is what you are hoping for. Must you even have a shop? How long will you have to sell in this economy to make enough profit for that car? Additional stress. When will you have time to rest and take care of your little children?
Time for shop will come when your children are older. For now, buy your car, buy some goods you can sell from your car trunk (Mobile shop), drink water and hang cup. Why you like wahala like this even when you have a paying job?
Sapphire always making sense. My thoughts exactly. Buy the car. It doesn’t have to be an expensive car. Find a small biz to assist u.
DeleteShe already rented the shop abi? Please stock on the shop biko
DeleteSapphire thanks a bunch. Your advice made a whole lotta sense especially with the situation of the economy. This is not the best of times to start a business. Get your car but never lend it to your hubby. Also, make sure you do not drop a dime for house upkeep because he will gradually hands off.
DeleteVery good advice. Pls buy the car first.
DeleteChoi my dear stock up your shop, that one would bring in profit for you and with proper management and God's grace u should be able to save up for a good car not necessarily a fancy one. But with time you can upgrade.
ReplyDelete😂 This got me cracked up at first and it be nice you continue with the business thingy for starters jare..
ReplyDeletePoster you can do both, I'm driving Toyota camry tiny light that I bought 600k, you can get a clean and cheap car and still stock up your shop, you NEED that car because of the baby, in the business aspect, start small and grow with the business but in all, have a heart to heart talk with your husband why you need the car to avoid issues.
ReplyDeleteCorrect advice.
Delete600k Car? Oh really?
DeleteWhat kind of car can one buy with 1Million naira? I want to gift someone a car but not sure what 1Million could get me in Nigeria. Any idea?
What model, what year?
Delete👌
DeleteRockstar, A Toyota Camry pencil light. You can buy it, change the engine, work on the body and still have change left in 1m.
DeleteBadagry/Seme/Cotonou are good places to shop.
Rockstar go for Toyota corolla, you'll see a clean one for that amount or you maybe lucky to see someone with distres sales of a very expensive car
DeletePoster, May God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteFocus on your business, please.
ReplyDeleteDear poster stock up your shop.
ReplyDeleteIt's well
Every individual has a table of hierarchy which comprises of their priority..
ReplyDeleteSo what is yours? The car or the shop?
About the shop;what do you want to sell?
It will help you(us) have an idea of the profit margin;which will help determine how possible it is to buy a car with your profit in a matter of say months or years..
So can you be patient till then?
A shop is good,a car is also good So as to aid movement..
A car on the other hand needs fueling;services and general maintenance..
Can you salary take care of everything if you buy the car and forfeit the shop??
So check within yourself and know which of them means more to you at the moment;and go for it..
@MARTINS
Dear poster, your shop and business first. Then see if you can get a driver around your neighborhood that can pick you in the morning and drop you off at home after work. Pay him (Driver) at the end of the month say 10,000 , 15,000 or 20,000 depending on the distance from your house to your work place. Because of security, your baby and to help reduce your stress, plus all the struggle on the road.
ReplyDeleteYou are a judge, don’t let them catch you owning another business so that you don’t loose your source of livelihood that will be disastrous. He’s stingy, carry your cross. Invest your money in other things. I’m a judge too and I know what I’m saying. Once you have one or two investment, buy a car for yourself. But your state should provide you with official vehicles. In lagos we are given good vehicles and changed often with drivers.
ReplyDeleteMadam what kind of judge are you? Judges earn more than 100k. Judges live very comfortable. I have never seen a judge live like you hoping keke. They bench will warn you to get a car. Even magistrates live honorably. My sister is a magistrate, and she couldn't hop keke like that because they were warned. Abeg wetin you dey do?
ReplyDeleteJudge where??? I'm confused...100k??? No official car???
DeleteYour husband stingy no be small
ReplyDeleteIt is always better to start business small and grow it with time. You need that car because of your baby. You also need that car to ease the stress of shuttling from office to your shop and from your shop to your house. Think about the stress of not having a car with a 10 months old baby,a regular job and a shop to attend to.
ReplyDeleteWhat a horseband.......my husband get millions and i no fit chop am?????????tufiakwa
ReplyDeleteset up a business
Some men. Goodness gracious. What is the point of a husband if he cannot help to ease your way. She already has status of her own through her education and work, so why not elevate her even further, she is his wife after all, the first woman of his life. I just can't. I really feel for her. No judge anywhere in the world should be hopping on keke with a baby too.
DeleteI want to tell women (as well as men) a secret of having their stingy spouses give them like no man business.
ReplyDeleteThe secret is GIVING.
It has worked for me and everyone I told that implemented it. Many women who complain of stingy husbands are remotely stingy.
I have a friend whose husband works at Exxon Mobil. His take home pay is 1.2 mil/ month.
He never gives her a dime. Her elder brother gave her 600k to start foodstuff business. He put all his four children in boarding schools and sends the required moneys directly to school.
As at 2018 when I met her, she was driving the oldest model of xterra. This man spends lavishly on outsiders and his children but will hit the roof if she as much as asks for 30k. I was a witness to how he almost beat her up for asking for 30k to stock the house for the MONTH!
I joined her in wailing not knowing that madam is the cause of her problem. Chick is stingy! If you are in her house, she'll use your cosmetics claiming you can't eat her food, use her amenities without gaining anything from you.
I sat her down one day after spending few days in her house and seeing the problem. I told her to be open handed and see what will happen.
Thank God she listened. Started paying her tithe, giving offerings in church but most importantly giving to needy people around her.
People of God, her husband called her three months later and apologized for the way he had been treating her. He sent her 400k (he lives in Lagos while she's in PH because of his job).
Ever since, he sends her 200k monthly and comes home more often to be with her. That's aside money for housekeeping.
Ladies, try it and see. It works. It has worked for me too.
Really Jechix... really?
DeleteYou are right .... givers never lack .
DeleteGood advice 👍
DeleteGod sent you to speak to someone here. Some women are so stingy me sef wey be woman shame go dey catch me on their behalf. It is well
DeleteI didn't need to read your comment far. Your 2nd and 3rd paragraph is is the gospel itself.
DeleteJechix all this one na story. A stingy person is a stingy person!!!
DeleteAbeg, the man is a horrible person. Let's stop making excuses.
DeleteMake I hear word abeg say offering and tithe. What could be more "giving" than giving to the poor, widows and orphans?
DeleteGuy man is a terrible and stingy man shikena.
No matter what a man does we will find a way to blame the woman. She’s stingy because she’s married to a stingy provider
DeleteTrue. It's Law of attraction. If you're generous then you attract the generosity of others to you. It works with money too. Having an abundance mindset is a game changer
DeleteU can get a cheap and good car of 500k. U need a car cos of the baby. U can’t be taking a baby in Keke. Get a cheap car and start the biz small.
ReplyDeleteJudge🙂100k🙄 wow! Just wow!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, madam judge you need to set your priorities right. You said you've paid the shop rent, do you intend to leave the shop empty till it expires while you go ahead and buy a car you'll still be spending on? And how do you want to pay back the loan?
Go ahead and stock up your shop and start the business edakun; then from the proceeds set out plans for your car, shop rent and whatever else.
Hope you're not stingy to your husband as well...ajuju nese okwu?
Best advice
Deleteyou people like asking stupid questions...so if he is stingy to her husband is that a reason why he cannot spend on their home? forget giving her money sef, make your home comfortable at least...she said over 100k not that she earns 100k. read well before commenting. poster you cannot leave the rent to waste, so stock up your shop but make sure you have a good system in place and who to help look after it so you dont stock up a shop for someone else to feed on. I sympathize with you for marrying an aka aradite husband
DeleteAs a judge and no car, I suggest u get urself a cheap car, for your security and ur baby's health. Start a small biz and grow from there.
ReplyDeletePoster please firstly you're not a judge, judge position comes with a brand new SUV, even magistrate get cars, servant and driver, talkless of a judge. And judges earn more than 100k, my friend dad was a judge and he goes home monthly with 10 million, a trip every year with their partner outside the country during the legal year vacation
ReplyDeletepoliticians don't joke with judges, so there's no state that judges are suffering. Stop the lie na, so it won't look as if this legal profession is rubbish haba
you are so stupid and ignorant....u lack proper information about something and you are here spewing ignorance....your friends father you said...10 million monthly kee you there. besides she said more than hundred and you are also saying more than hundred how did she lie? do you know how long ago she became a judge? such a rude and stupid comment comment....you talking of legal profession do you know the pittance lawyers collect in some chambers in lagos? 40k monthly, yes 40k.
DeletePeople without cars and have over 6 kids will be reading some comments like "what is wrong with Keke?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Ikegwuru...
ReplyDeleteMadam invest first...
Lmao.wahala
DeleteJeez. I laughed and farted at your first paragraph.like kilode. Everything break finish, I pray make marriage no follow.omo una dey try.please don't you try taking from him make I no talk stealing.like add more to cost of things or take directly abi kilode sef.shio. Biko face your business and kuku know you are alone
ReplyDeleteYou are a judge, you know that you must not be found owning another business. Any lawyer that finds you can snap and send your photograph to legal disciplinary council. A bird at hand is worth more than two in the bush.
ReplyDeleteOh really? It's illegal for judges to own a business? I did not know that.
DeleteTry and get a good Nigeria used car less than N1m and get a driver that will use it for transportation and make delivery weekly. Have an agreement with him on the time to pick you in the morning and after close of work. Then use the balance to start a shop. That way you can have a car and a shop and both of them will be source of income for you. If you are a Christian pay your tithes and please give to the needy and the things of God. Also pray and commit your husband into God's hands so that he can change. At the end of the day you will end up having your salary as your savings as time goes in. All is well and all the best. Peace
ReplyDeleteWhich part of Christianity says we should pay tithe biko
DeletePoster follow this advise; nothing else to add
DeleteGoodluck
Madam. As an entrepreneur, I will advise you get yourself a car.
ReplyDeleteWith your car, you will spare yourself extra time and sell your wares from your car Ẹ.g. Car boot salr
Poster buy a car it's a necessity. I will only advice you not to use all the money for a car. Since you've already paid the rent for a shop, buy a car with 70% of the money and use 30% to stock up. Start small and grow in the business.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you are a judge in Nigeria?
ReplyDeletePlease when you buy the Car don't let it hubby drive it. Drop him off just like he does for you but he should never touch that steering
ReplyDeleteLook at your status and value you bring to the marriage and you still fckn hopping Keke with a 10 months old. Wtf is wrong with some men. Why can't the Black woman be worthy of pampering and spoiling. Sister, may God burst your business success through every threshold that it leads to you having a business empire that see you surpassing every possible limitation you could have.
ReplyDeleteDo the business and hold off on the car, cause you already know how to get around. Quietly go for your business and set no limits on it, dream big. As wild as your imagination can get, see it and claim the impossible for yourself. Cause that business may be all you end up with. Legally, how do you stay if he should pass suddenly, do you know if everything will automatically turn over to you? You cannot trust a stingy and difficult man to protect you financially after death. Carve out something quietly for yourself. Cause that same man can come home tomorrow and tell you he has found the woman of his dreams and push you to the side. Use stealth mode and work your own hands for your glory. May God guide you in wisdom and discernment and open a great path of success for you.
Madam, if it is indeed true that a judge cannot own a business then why did you get involved with business? Please do not do anything illegal. Yes, you may be frustrated by the lack at home, but do not bring any dishonor to your name or position. You worked too hard to reach where you are to end it all for small business and disgrace. Find good investment vehicles and invest the money and buy your car. Petition your husband through sweetness and see if his heart can be reached and he can add something more to bring things up. Talk to him, you got married to him so you must can speak with him. No matter how hard he is you are is wife that must bring some level of favour to you.
ReplyDeleteYou can also petition the governing body for better perks for your job, including an increase in wages.
A car is NOT an asset.
ReplyDeleteEstablish your business now and allow him to continue dropping you at work. If that arrangement isn’t broken then don’t fix it.
He pays fees and gives food money so why call him stingy?
Have you bought anything for him and he didnt reciprocate? If your answer is no them practice what you preach
abeg some of you on this blog are so danm irritating...you never read but rush to comment. you earn over a million monthly yet their chairs are broken, tv broken at home and using a rickety car that was dashed to them. if he was building a house she would have known...so food is the only thing a man owes his household? your child and 10 month old daughter hops keke and you ask why call him stingy? my husband will rather trek than allow his children enter keke. if he cannot afford it that is a diff thing but anything he can afford he will
Delete